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Addiction 911 Magazine |

| Addiction 911 Magazine

Welcome to Addiction 911 Magazine. I would like to take a moment and explain how this app works.

All of our issues are FREE if you subscribe. So please make sure to press the “subscribe but-ton” and yes to sharing your email with us on the app so that we can notify you when new issues are released.

We will be expanding our Resources section in upcoming issues and adding even more articles and other important information about addic-tion. We will also be bringing you interviews with top addiction professionals on the latest cutting edge strategies, techniques and infor-mation in the addiction field.

This magazine is dedicated to those who are struggling with addiction, whether you are an addict or a family member or friend of an addict and at a loss on how to help your loved one.

We know how difficult it is to watch someone you love lose themselves to addiction and how

it can tear a family apart. The delicate balance between helping and enabling an addict is something we are personally familiar with. We want to make sure that there are plenty of articles and resources available in each issue that directly address the challenges mothers, fathers, siblings, grandparents, and friends and loved ones of addicts face when dealing with an addicted loved one.

Please feel free to email me directly at [email protected] if you have any questions or have a personal story about ad-diction you would like to share in an upcom-ing issue.

I am looking forward to hearing from you and thank you for taking the time to subscribe to Addiction 911 Magazine.

Best wishes,Christina RowePublisherAddiction 911 Magazine

WelCoMe!


Hello! And welcome to Addiction 911 magazine. My name is Debbie Sherrick and I am a Holistic Codependency Life Coach and Owner of Insideout Wellness Inc. I have to say I am super excited about being the editor of the Addiction 911 Magazine and that we are able to have the opportunity to communicate and hear from readers who are involved in some way, shape or form in the addiction community. Our magazine and app provides yet another way to hear about opinions, research and the latest news about addiction. We value your perspective and are eager to educate our readers on what is happening in the field of addiction and recovery.

We would also like to hear your input and suggestions about what you want to know more about. Because my field of work is the area of how addiction affects the families and loved ones of the addict, I will be contributing articles on that subject and looking for writers to contribute also. Our goal is to bring you high quality information.

We are passionate about spreading the word and educating others about addiction. Personally, I feel there is not enough information and ways of educating the masses in the growing area of addiction. Knowledge is power is my motto.

I believe that the more interactive we can be in this publishing venture by using innovative ways to reach the public (like this app!), The more quickly and easily we can reach people and give them the information they need about addiction, treatment, intervention, detox, therapy, coaching and helping families with healing.

We hope you enjoy the magazine and we welcome you to Addiction 911!

Debbie Sherrick/editor

Another WAy for your Voice to Be Heard

letteR FRoM the eDItoR

CONTENTS>

04 The GuilT-Ridden AddicTBy RichaRd andeRson

06 undeRsTAndinG AddicTionBy RichaRd andeRson

08Teen heRoin AddicTion sweepinG The nATion By chRistina Rowe

09 confessions fRom A codependenTBy deBBie sheRRick

10mixinG pills And Alcohol - A dAnGeRous hiGh By chRistina Rowe

12BReAkinG The chAins To YouR AddicThow To fRee YouRself By deBBie sheRRick

14suRvivinG The holidAYs wiTh An AddicTBy RoBin GuteRman

15does BRAin chemisTRYimBAlAnce cAuse AddicTion?By dR. sands

16ARe You BeinG emoTionAllY ABused BYAn AddicT?By debbie sherrick

19 oBAmAcARe And AddicTion inteRview with medivance

20 ResouRces


I have often heard it said that ad-dicts did not know how to feel their feelings when they were us-ing. This is a message given rou-tinely to addicts new to recovery. Addicts tend to buy into this mes-sage for a number of reasons: This is explained to them by a sympa-thetic counselor, addicts like to think of themselves as a special sick case needing special handling and attention, everyone around them seems to agree with this as-sessment, etc. Sometimes things are said so often they are simply taken for granted to be true.

The idea that addicts were or are incapable of feeling their feelings is nonsense. I would file it in the category of platitudinous rhetoric. Items in this category sound nice and might make us feel warm and

fuzzy, but simply have absolutely no basis in fact and fall apart under careful scrutiny. Let’s take a look at what is underneath this concept. The idea that an addict ingesting a drug like Heroin is anesthetiz-ing themselves makes sense. As a nurse I routinely give patients Morphine and other powerful narcotics. These patients are in a great deal of physical pain and the medication eases their suffer-ing, reduces Cortisol levels, and promotes physical healing. These same patients after receiving pain medication are able to continue experiencing their emotions.

When I address clients in facilities we explore this concept together. I ask them if they ever experienced any of the following while using: Shame, guilt, remorse, self-pity,

isolation, degradation, hopeless-ness, or despondency. I have yet to find a client that tells me they never experienced these feelings while using. How can an addict “hit bottom” and experience desper-ation enough to seek help if they didn’t feel their feelings?

Let’s be clear. Unless they are socio-pathic, addicts feel their feelings. True enough we didn’t like our feel-ings much. It is also true that we used in response to our feelings. Nonetheless we felt our feelings weather we liked it or not. Using really didn’t take our feelings away. At most we experienced a fleeting moment of ease and comfort while under the influence and tried in an obsessive way to recapture those feelings of ease and comfort by us-ing over and over again.

the Guilt-ridden addict


If we can agree that addicts prob-ably did experience their emotions while using we are beginning to work on a solution from a stand-point of truth and embracing re-ality. We are no longer offering the addict an excuse to continue their using because they are convinced that they are a special sick case.

For addicts, one of the most diffi-cult feelings to reconcile is guilt. Addicts in general are insecure and suffer from chronic self-es-teem issues. This isn’t helped by the people still stinging from the misdeeds of addicts reminding them of the horrible things that they have done. Occasionally this is meant to be a disincentive to the addict to continue their using. Often it is used as a bludgeon by those who have been wronged to fortify a position of control as the dispenser of forgiveness or to sim-ply exert control. Not to say that people don’t have a right to feel wronged and to express their feel-ings to the addict, but to continu-ously do so does nothing to help the addict find recovery, in fact it may have the opposite result.

So, when I am addressing addicts I bear in mind what they have done, what they have been through and what they have felt. I know because I have had the same experiences. I talk to them about the Basic Text of Narcotics Anonymous. To legit-imize this particular book I point out that it was written and pro-duced by a consortium of addicts asking themselves if the concepts within the book were true for all or most addicts. If it was found to be

so it made its way into the book. Therefore we can rely on this book for an intimate look into the nature of the addict and recovery.

One of the things the basic text talks about is the concept of be-ing powerless over our addiction. It says that powerlessness “means using against our will”. This is a profound statement that I relate to on a visceral level. It is absolutely descriptive of my experience and the experience of the hundreds of addicts that helped to produce the Basic Text and the millions of peo-ple that have relied on the Basic Text for decades.

Let’s take this a step further. If Pow-erlessness means using against our will can it not also mean acting against our will? Using doesn’t oc-cur in a vacuum. There are things we must do in order to continue our using. First of all we must push everyone away that might interfere with our using. Various mechanisms are used to this end but especially anger, hostility and even violence.

What about when our resources run out, we find ourselves broke and unable to buy more drugs to “recapture the ease and comfort we once knew” (while using)? We were capable of almost anything. We may have sold ourselves, stolen from our family or friends or em-ployers, abandoned our families, etc. Being “powerless” to control our using we were therefore pow-erless to control the things that we did in order to procure more.I am not trying, nor have I ever tried, to excuse the behavior of the

addict while using or relieve them of any responsibility for making proper amends. What I am doing is pointing out that which is so sel-dom pointed out. That is that giv-en a choice, 99% of addicts would not choose to debase themselves by selling their bodies for money. Given a choice most addicts would not have done most of the things that they did.

I often ask the clients that I address to ask themselves if they, now that they are clean, would repeat those same behaviors. The answer is an obvious “no”. I ask them if, even when they were using and doing those behaviors for which they now carry so much shame, they didn’t feel a small voice inside of them saying “no, don’t do this”. There is general agreement on this. We have a conscience. If we didn’t we wouldn’t have reached a point of emotional and spiritual despair that motivated us to seek help.

To help the addict to understand the real nature of addiction and re-covery is essential. We have to ad-dress real issues in a real way. Our “owning” of our addiction must be authentic and based on truth; thereafter we can embrace recov-ery with the same principles. For more information on this and oth-er vital topics please refer to the recovery workbook “From Dark-ness to Light: A Primer for Recov-ery” available at the website http://www.recoveryresourcesinc.com

Richard Anderson – Recovering from addiction for over 28 yearsRecovery Resources Inc.


To understand what addiction ac-tually is and what it means is mon-umentally important. We may an-grily deny we are addicts when it is suggested even though we have no idea what that concept even means. Addicts often use anger to push others away so that we can use our drugs in peace.

Unfortunately, there are a good number of people that don’t really understand addiction and we are up against it to find anyone that re-ally does. Before we can decide we are not something, we should have an idea of what we are really deny-ing in the first place. For many ad-dicts the signs are there long before we can make the formal admission to ourselves that “yes, we are ad-

dicts”. To make this admission can be frightening and conjure images in our minds of weakness or lack-ing in some fundamental skill of humanity. These concerns are born of ignorance. We simply don’t know what we don’t know.

There are two things that we know of that make up true addiction: Obsession and compulsion. The Basic Text of Narcotics Anonymous explains these two concepts. It de-fines obsession as “the fixed idea that takes us back to our particular drug, or some substitute, to recap-ture the ease and comfort we once knew”. Compulsion means that once we start that process with the first hit, pill, drink or whatever, we have no ability to stop through

our own power of will. Addiction is described as a violent and destruc-tive power greater than ourselves. We simply have no control or abil-ity to stop when we want to. The addiction is in control, not us.

Let’s get a few things straight. Ad-diction is not about weakness. Strength, courage and discipline do not work for addiction any more than they do with diarrhea. It is completely untrue that addicts are weak or lacking in discipline. We tend to be some of the strongest most disciplined people in the world. We tend to be intelligent by and large and capable of tremen-dous creativity. We have these traits in spades! We simply are unable to use these traits to successfully con-

Understandingaddiction


trol addiction. No addict can.

Addiction doesn’t discriminate. Ad-dicts come in every conceivable shape and size. Addiction does not respect intelligence, strength, good upbringing, education, or social sta-tus. There are addicts both actively using and actively recovering in ev-ery corner of every society on earth. Male, female, old, young, rich, poor, privileged, destitute, professional, or street walker, addiction crosses every conceivable boundary.

Addicts in general tend to share an inner gnawing dissatisfaction with self. We tend to feel inadequate and unable to measure up. We feel a vacancy inside of us that nothing has ever been able to fill. Mostly we feel ill-at ease and uncomfort-able. These feelings predate our using of chemicals. Our feelings of inadequacy and emptiness are of-ten seen to date back to our earli-est childhood memories.

To be clear it isn’t the drugs that turn us into addicts, rather it is be-ing an addict that turns us onto drugs. When we found drugs we were absolutely certain that we had finally arrived at our solution. Drugs gave us a feeling of being at ease and comfortable. It is in the desire to escape our feelings of being ill-at ease and uncomfortable with our-selves that our addiction resides. Many of us realize that these feel-ings have always been there.

Recall the definition of obsession: Going back time and time again to our particular drug or some sub-stitute to recapture the ease and comfort we once knew. Prior to and during our drug use we may

have tried any number of remedies for our lack of self-acceptance. We may have sought relief in relation-ships, even bad relationships. As long as there was someone there to approve of us by being pres-ent in our lives we may have been willing to put up with any sort of nonsense. We may have felt like we didn’t deserve anything better than what others were willing to dish out as long as they continued to tell us that they approved of us enough to stay with us.

Other “substitutes” we may have tried or continue to try might include shop-ping, working long hours, sex, por-nography, eating, not eating, working out, gambling, tattooing, promiscuity, etc. We may go to great lengths and make our lives a complete wreck, drive ourselves to the point of finan-cial ruin in order to fill something in-side ourselves that nothing could ever fill. Drugs worked the best for many of us, but they are certainly not the only possible outlet for our addiction. Sub-stitution for drugs can come in any form. We may have tried to replace drugs with one of these other behav-iors. In the end we are not so much substituting for the drugs, what we are really substituting for is recovery. The goal for addicts is to stop using and find recovery. To stop using we most often need the help of others that have been in our shoes and can help us to find a way to sanity. Ab-stinence, or simply not using, is not our only goal. Abstinence is only the starting point. It is from absti-nence that we are able to launch into meaningful recovery. Recovery is our goal. We must find a way to change our feelings of being ill-at ease and uncomfortable and learn to really and truly love ourselves. We

need an awakening of our spirit. It isn’t an easy road, but the journey to our spiritual awakening is beautiful beyond measure.

I began my journey some decades ago. I haven’t ever regretted find-ing recovery or continuing to grow in my recovery. Not only is it better than the hell I lived while using, my life is better than I could have ever imagined it could be.

For more information on addiction and much more information on re-covery please refer to the recovery primer: “From Darkness to Light: A Primer for Recovery”. This is more than just a book, it is a workbook that will help to get you started on the right path in recovery. It will help you to make plain to yourself how addiction is and has been a part of your life and will help you to begin using practical tools to start building a life you can feel justifiably proud of.

We don’t get self-esteem from say-ing nice things to ourselves in a mirror, or riding a horse, learning better nutrition, getting acupunc-ture, aroma therapy, sound therapy, lasers, hypnosis, or any of the other smoke and mirrors nonsense so of-ten suggested. We get self-esteem by doing esteemable things. We stop doing things that make us feel bad about ourselves and start do-ing things that we feel proud of. We get recovery by working a program. We find a competent sponsor and start working steps. Real recovery can only be found in real step work.

Richard Anderson Recovery Resources Inc. www.recoveryresourcesinc.com


There has been a recent rise in heroin use by teenagers. You may even know someone who has been directly affected by this growing epidemic.

What is going on? Since when did heroin become the drug of choice of so many teens? When I was a teenager in the 80’s, co-caine and pot were popular. I nev-er knew anyone who did heroin. My sons, who are 20 and 21 years old though, have friends who have died from heroin overdoses.

In recent years, with the popularity of prescription drugs, in particular, OxyContin (known as “synthetic heroin”) many teens have become hooked on these pills. With the crackdown by pharmaceuticals and the shutdown of “pill mills”, OxyContin and other prescription drugs that are often abused have become harder to access. Heroin on the other hand, is cheap and easy accessible.

It is very common for heroin addic-tion to start with the use of pain pills. Since the cost of pain pills have skyrocketed, teens have now turned to heroin which costs less money and is easier to find. A teen can get hooked instantly by using a pill called a button that costs $10 or by using tar heroin, which comes in a brown powder or black sticky substance.

Because heroin can be injected, inhaled or smoked, the drug goes to the brain very quickly. Many

teens have overdose the first time they used heroin because of their body’s reaction to the drug. Since they are not injecting heroin into their arm with a needle, a teen may have a false sense of security by smoking or sniffing the drug.

Some of the telltale signs that a teen is using heroin are:

Euphoria, drowsiness, impaired mental functioning, constricted pupils and slowed down respiration.

Signs of a heroin overdose are:Shallow breathing, pinpoint pupils, clammy skin, convulsions and coma.

According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, within the last five years drug overdoses have become one of the top three killers of 15 to 19 year olds.

Heroin addiction has touched the lives of so many families. Parents should have open communication with their teens and watch for any telltale signs that they may be hav-ing a problem. Keep your eyes and ears open and do not assume that your child would never do heroin. It is everywhere. Heroin use is impact-ing teens from all walks of life. You can find teens using heroin on col-lege campuses, upscale suburban neighborhoods and athletic teams.

The treatments that are used for teen heroin addiction are behavior-al and pharmacologic treatments, which can be beneficial in restoring brain function and behavior. If you suspect your teen may be doing heroin, it is critical that you get him or her treatment immediately.

Christina RowePublisher, Addiction 911 Magazinewww.bestrehabsinflorida.com

Teen Heroin AddicTion Sweeping THe nATion


Confessions from A codependent

Listen as we interview Debbie Sherrick, a certified Holistic Health Coun-selor and Codependency Life Coach teaching people how to unite mind, body and spirit for a successful healthy life style. Debbie was brought up in an abusive, alcoholic home in a little Indiana farm town. The old-est of four children, she learned to rescue, care take, enable, deny self, direct, and become a young adult at a very early age. Debbie has been teaching holistic wellness to those in recovery for 22 years. She has lead codependency groups at Trinity Church International and “Home safe” in Lake Worth Florida, and many local seminars.

Debbie explains how co-dependency is often rooted in childhood and how co-dependency can hurt the addict in your lives, despite your best intentions. She shares strategies to help you with your co-dependency issues and provides resources for families of addicts who may be feeling guilty, overwhelmed and unable to let go and stop enabling their chil-dren. You can reach Debbie at [email protected] and watch her Empower Hour Show at www.empowerhourshow.com/live

part 1CliCk here to listen to the podCast

part 2CliCk here to listen to the podCast

http://addiction911.podomatic.com/entry/2013-08-26T11_59_30-07_00





I had a friend once who confided in me that her and her husband would “enjoy” a Percocet and a few glasses of wine. I was shocked. I am someone who is afraid to drink alcohol if I had a Tylenol, so her confession sounded very risky. I voiced my concerns, but sadly they fell on deaf ears. This woman continued to mix prescription drugs and alcohol. I do not speak with her anymore, so I do not know if she continues this practice.

mixinG Pills And alcoHolA dAnGerous hiGh


What I do know is that mixing alcohol and prescrip-tion drugs can kill you. My ex-husband spent 2 weeks in ICU after taking Xanax, OxyContin and drinking al-cohol. The doctors did not know if he would live, but he pulled through after suffering strokes, heart prob-lems and other long term side effects.

There are some very adverse effects when alcohol and prescription drugs are mixed. The National Insti-tute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism lists reactions such as; internal bleeding, heart problems, difficulty breathing, headaches, drowsiness, fainting and loss of coordination.

For those who are suffering from depression and take antidepressants while using alcohol, the symptoms of depression may get more severe. It then becomes a vicious cycle because in order to get into a better mood, more alcohol is consumed.Taking alcohol with an antidepressant may worsen the symptoms of the depression. If a certain type of antidepressant is mixed with alcohol, it can also cause an increase in blood pressure.

There are frequently warning labels on medications stating that mixing alcohol with the medicine can cause severe reactions. It is always a good idea to carefully read the labels on the medications. This will let you know the active ingredients in the medicine, dosage, warnings, etc. Some over the counter and herbal products can also cause harm when taken with alcohol.

Taking alcohol with diet pills can cause liver damage. Diet pills have stimulants called uppers and alcohol has stimulants called downers, which are both hard on the liver.

Alcohol dissolves the coating in time release medica-tions. This leads to the person receiving the full dose right away, instead of a delay, which is the way the dosage should be received.

For people who have difficulty sleeping and take sleeping pills, the mixture of sleeping pills and al-cohol is particularly dangerous. The combination of sleeping pills and alcohol cause the body to relax more than normal. Since the breathing process slows down, blood pressure can drop which can lead to some harmful effects to the body.

The belief that alcohol is not dangerous leads to many people mixing drugs with alcohol. Also, a person who regularly takes prescription drugs for a medical con-dition sometimes will drink alcohol without realizing that the drug is still in their system.

We frequently hear about celebrities who either pass away or have a serious medical problem when they mix alcohol and prescription drugs. Many young im-pressionable people see these celebrities using drugs and may think that it is okay to use drugs sometimes. They do not realize how dangerous this line of think-ing is.

Remember, it is never okay to mix alcohol and pre-scription drugs! It is not worth risking your life for a temporary high. If you know someone engaging in such dangerous behavior, make sure to educate them of the dangers of this practice so they can make a bet-ter decision.

Christina RowePublisher, Addiction 911 Magazinewww.bestrehabsinflorida.com

The belief that alcohol is not dangerous leads to many people mixing drugs with alcohol.


Part of the dynamics of codepen-dent relationships, is knowing where “I” end, and “you” begin. It gets blurry to us. Maybe being with someone you love and seeing each other as one sounds romantic, but in reality, no two people are alike.

People can be similar, but each of us is unique in our family history, our personalities, thoughts, how we respond and perceive things, and our preferences and convic-tions. Your boundaries are crossed when others assume what you’re

thinking, feeling, or think they know what’s right for you, or when others think you should think and feel the same way they do. Re-specting others individuality and differences honors their separate-ness.

Breaking the chains to Your AddictHow to Free Yourself


People with weak or no boundar-ies feel vulnerable being in close relationships where they lose themselves and their identity. They get into them quickly, say Yes when they mean NO. They trust too quickly and reveal everything about themselves too quickly; they have no personal identity, friends, hobbies or lack self-em-powerment. When this boundary between you and someone else doesn’t exist or is very blurry, it is called “enmeshment” These rela-tionships produce alot of fear and are painful.

One way to tell if you are “en-meshed” is that you feel responsi-ble for and react to your partner’s feelings, moods, decisions and problems and obsess about them, but can’t take responsibility for your own feelings and behaviors. I call this being a thermostat. It’s “I’m happy if your happy”, or “I’m sad if your sad” “If you have a problem, then I have a problem” Everything we do and feel, is based on the

other person’s life and decisions. If you have worked with me about coda coaching, you have heard me say that “you can’t take care of your own feelings and someone else’s at the same time.”

I remember the first time I told my alcoholic Father that he couldn’t come to my home drunk anymore because I didn’t want my children exposed to that as I had been as a child. I was more worried about his reaction, then taking care of myself and setting that boundary for myself! My very wise therapist at the time taught me that his re-action doesn’t matter, nor does it have to hurt me or upset me. I was setting a healthy boundary for me and taking care of me. I was taught to be such a caretaker growing up, I thought I was responsible for oth-ers feeling too!

INteRDePeNDeNt RelAtIoNShIPSCodependents think the ide-al relationship is when “we” are

“one”. Mainly because they are so needy to have someone make them whole. When we first meet someone, it is natural to want to be with that person alot. Over time, their lives and routines be-come intertwined. They like help-ing, talking, and encouraging each other. They need, depend upon, and are affected by each other. The difference is they realize they are different, and take responsibil-ity for fulfilling their own lives in-dividually as well as contributing to the relationship. Their lives are interdependent. They don’t fear in-timacy, sharing feelings, asking for what they need in the relationship (different from what we want); they don’t give up friends, hob-bies and activities that they enjoy apart from the other person. Inde-pendence is not seen as a threat in the relationship. In fact, the re-lationship gives them each more freedom to be themselves. They respect and support each oth-er’s personal individuality, but are committed to the relationship too.

the bottom line is people in healthy relationships seek closeness….not oneness.

Debbie Sherrick/holistic Codependency Coachhttp://www.insideoutwellnesscoach.com


The holidays are such an emotional time for the fami-lies of addicts and the temptation is so great to give in and enable your addict so that you and your family can have a “normal” holiday. Unfortunately, giving in to your addict during the holiday can have serious and some-times deadly consequences, with more overdoses/sui-cides occurring around the holidays--and at home. In this compelling interview with Robin Guterman, LCSW from F.A.R. of Boca, we explore tips and strategies for surviving the holidays without giving in to your addict’s demands, feelings of sadness, depression and helpless-ness that occur this time of year when dealing with an addictive loved one and how your addict’s behavior af-fects all members of the family during the holidays.

Robin Guterman is a licensed clinical social worker who specializes in family therapy and addiction recovery.Robin, originally from NY, has worked in the addiction field for over 20 years.. She has been a therapist and clinical director in some of the most successful

treatment centers in the country. She has implemented family programs into treatment centers and believes that the entire family system needs to change for successful recovery to occur.. Presently working in private practice, Robin’s passion is in helping the families dealing with the impact of addiction on their lives. To contact Robin Guterman, please call : 561 235 2292 or visit her website at: www.farofboca.com

podcastCliCk here to listen to the podCast

surViVing tHe Holidays witH an addictHow to set boundaries and resist temptation to enable your addicted loved one during the holiday season

addiction911.podomatic.com/entry/2013-11-22T12_14_18-08_00



Can restoring your child’s brain chemistry resolve their addiction? Could this be the answer you are looking for? In this interview with Dr. Charles Tracy Sands from Transformations Treatment Center in Delray Beach, Florida, we discuss an exciting new approach to addiction treatment. Dr. Sands explains how imbalances in brain chemistry cause addicts to self-medicate and by utilizing a holistic approach of nutrition and supplements, serotonin and dopamine levels can be naturally restored and end your child’s addiction. Dr. Sands website is athttp://www.masterholisticformulations.com/ and he can be reached directly at [email protected]/


does Brain cHemistry imbAlAnCe CAuse AddiCtion?




Sad to say, but abuse is pretty common in relationships that include an addict. It can be because of their guilt and shame, unresolved childhood and family of origin issues, the effects of drugs and alcohol and many other factors, those who suffer from the verbal and emotional abuse of an addict can suffer greatly and feel powerless and trapped. The cycle can continue day after day until you feel so worthless and worn down, believing you have no choice but to endure and suffer through. Fear is also a huge factor when being abused and having the courage to walk through that fear can be overwhelming.

As a codependency coach to others involved with addicts and from my own personal experience, I know all too well what it’s like to be the recipient of this behavior and how it destroys and deteriorates the very soul and spirit of a person. Healing and recovery from this can take a long time as you begin your healing journey and gain your self- worth back. However, there is hope and it is so worth it! There are ways to break the cycle and take your power back so that you can start taking responsibility for yourself.

Emotional abuse can take on many forms such as blaming (a frequent tactic of addicts) belittling, name calling, ignoring, corrupting, acting cruel, isolating, sarcasm, ordering

Are you beinG emotionally aBused by An AddiCt?


around, being critical, lying, interrogating, manipulation, rejecting and withholding love, control of what you wear, where you go and who you see, passive aggressive behavior, and scaring another person. This can lead to ultimately winning control over the person being abused. Emotional abuse is a form of brainwashing and can be very damaging to the victim. It may be so familiar to your addict, that it is normal for them to be abusive if they have been allowed to do so. I remember my ex-husband holding me under a shower one time as a punishment. An example of abuse that subtly builds over time could be telling a spouse they are ugly, fat, no good, and useless repeatedly. Emotional abuse slowly eats away at a victim’s self-confidence until they feel they can no longer trust not only anyone else, but possibly even themselves, as they lose their sense of self-worth. It can sometimes be outwardly displayed in a person’s behavior or it can be something completely hidden, so emotional abuse is not always easy to spot by the eyes of an outsider. My addict husband was always a charming gentleman in public so no one ever knew what I was suffering at home.

With verbal abuse a person may be continually yelled at or humiliated when abused. They may be told they will be hurt or killed, thus they constantly live in fear for their life and learn to walk on eggshells and people please the addict to feel safe and gain some sense of control. They may be teased or

have confusing inconsistencies in their life, like when an alcoholic parent or spouse comes home happy one night and angry the next. This is how my home was growing up. I never knew when the other shoe was going to drop. I never knew who I would will be dealing with. Any and all of these events, among others, can create deep emotional scarring. Often, if help is not provided, a person who has been abused as a child may continue the cycle as an adult with his or her own family.

One thing I have found is that those involved with an addict with this kind of behavior don’t have healthy emotional boundaries themselves. If your feelings and needs were neglected growing up and you were abused as a child, you may feel that this is normal and it’s just part of the addiction you have to put up with. You may have trouble knowing when your boundaries are being disrespected. You also, because of your low self-worth, do not feel you are entitled to assert your rights and be treated with respect. You may have the impulse to do something when your addict is upset and is being abusive in order to “take care of them emotionally”. You may allow their problems and responsibilities to become yours. You may also feel that you are totally powerless with how your addict treats you and speaks to you. A wonderful therapist told me many years ago…” Debbie, when it comes to abuse in any form, there are no victims, just volunteers” That statement was the beginning of me changing my

life with my addict and how I was allowing myself to be treated.

One thing we must first realize is that hurting people hurt other people. Your addict is very sick. He is acting out of his own pain and misery. However, you cannot keep using that as an excuse for their behavior and not hold them responsible for it. WE TEACH PEOPLE HOW TO TREAT US. If your addict is treating you in an abusive way, you have taught him along the way that it’s ok to do so. I know that can be a hard nut to swallow. It was for me. I wanted to blame the addicts in my life for being sick jerks! It wasn’t my fault that they were being abusive. Or so I thought. I too had to learn this valuable lesson of treating myself with self-respect and self-love FIRST before the addict would treat me that way in return. It had to begin with me taking responsibility for what I would allow and what I would not. I had to learn what was a deal breaker for me. I had to learn that walking on eggshells and people pleasing the addict to not upset him was not working. I was powerless over the addict, but I was not powerless over myself and my life.

If you are allowing this behavior of abuse, your boundaries are weak. Do you feel at fault when blamed and react instead of saying “I do not take responsibility for that”, or “I disagree and I won’t do that”? No is a complete sentence. There needs to be consequences that are followed through when someone is abusive in any way. Creating and implementing boundaries with


your addict on what you will and won’t allow in your relationship is healthy and loving for you and the addict. Once you start showing respect for yourself and not allowing it anymore, it will give them guidelines of what they can and cannot get away with. Yes, they probably will give you backlash and test you on it. You can count on that. But the results in the long run are so very rewarding for both you and the abuser. Following through with your boundaries and having support to lean on is imperative. I cannot stress this enough.

I remember when I started setting boundaries with my addict and how scared to death I was. He used his anger and rage to control me. I could not have done it without the support of my coda therapist and support group. I started saying NO without defending and debating with my addict. I learned to walk away and take care of me. I learned to not take things personal and implement consequences if he crossed the line. I made it very clear of what I expected in terms of respect and behavior towards me and what I would not tolerate anymore. When I work with those who have addicted children living at home, we draw up a contract that the parents and child must

sign if they want to continue to live there. If the contract is broken, the consequences are outlined in the contract. It works wonders in the home as everyone is clear what the rules of NO ABUSE are. Zero tolerance.

heRe IS A teStIMoNy oF A WoMAN IN oNe oF My SuPPoRt gRouPS:“I recalled (in a whisper) all the harsh words: You’re so fat. You look like a cow. No one would ever want you. Especially with two kids. You are too f-ing fat. F-ing B. Ugly F-ing B. I had married my one and only boyfriend from the age of 12 (we would write notes to each other ). I had a son at 18 and a daughter at 21. The verbal abuse started after my son and got worse after my daughter. I told no one. No one what I was living. Being young, two kids and going to college – I felt so stuck so I just took it. Till one day I was tying my sneaker while sitting on the couch and he tapped my on the head with his foot. It wasn’t hard. It was the act itself of demeaning me that he “kicked” me in the head with his foot because I was “beneath” him. I quit pharmacology school and landed a job where I could support my kids on my own. I

begged him to leave or I would and he did. The moment the door closed behind him I started cleaning and rearranging the house like crazy. I bought pizza that night for the kids and the negativity in the air had completely lifted. The kids and I had a beautiful evening together. My son was 5 and my daughter 3. My son may not remember a lot but he definitely was affected by it. Never went back to that. Ever. If someone even uses the word “stupid” towards me – it all comes back and I refuse, refuse, REFUSE to take that ever again.”

If you are suffering abuse at the hands of the addict, know you can stop the madness and break the silence of your abuse. There is help out there. You don’t have to suffer alone. You can learn to gain your self -worth back and also help your addict learn responsible behavior. Learning to detach in love and set boundaries, getting your power back, letting the addict have their own consequences and your own personal healing ARE possible. I have seen it over and over again. You are not trapped. You deserve love and respect. Please reach out and start the healing process for yourself. You also, will not regret it. May your healing begin…

you deserVe loVe and respect. please reacH out and start tHe Healing process for yourself. you also, will not regret it. may your Healing Begin…

Debbie Sherrick/holistic Codependency Coachhttp://www.insideoutwellnesscoach.com


Obamacare and AddictionWhAt you need to knoWIntervIew wIth medIvance

In this episode we interview Neisha Zaffuto and William McCormick of Medivance Billing. They share with us what every addict’s mom needs to know about Obamacare and how it will affect those suffering with addiction.





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lakeside treatment Center1240 U.S. 1, North Palm Beach, FL 33408(877) 494-8522www.lakesidedrugrehab.com

ResouRces

Debbie Sherrick, holistic Codependency CoachDelray Beach, FL, USA561-252-1440

Dr. Paula liebeskind, NlP Practitioner1861 NW 123rd AvePembroke Pines Fl. 33026954 435-9779 [email protected]


our Solutions Recovery outpatient treatment Center4331 N Federal Hwy, Fort Lauderdale, FL 33308954) 489-3031www.oursolutionsrecovery.com

Medivance Billing Service, Inc,4750 North Hiatus Road, Sunrise, FL 33351, USA954-746-8232www.medivancebilling.com

National Institute on Drug Abuse www.drugabuse.gov

Narcotics Anonymouswww.na.org

Substance Abuse and Mental health Services Administrationwww.samhsa.gov

holly’s Place Sober living homeFort Lauderdale, FLwww.hollysplace.orgTiffany (Manager): 973-735-3783

After 8pm call Bill: 607-237-4686

Diane: 954--854-4373

Margurite: [email protected]

FoR 24-houR Alcohol And dRug inFoRmAtion, call 800-662-helP.

addiction 911 magazine | page 1 find a client that tells me they never experienced these feelings...

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