academic writing lesson 9 analyzing text elements

ANALYZING TEXT ELEMENTS

Academic Writing

Student Writing Model

Every day in English class, my seat mate Natalie left her enormous

winter jacket on my desk. So, I decided to be sneaky like a master thief and

hide it. I put the jacket in the most secretive hiding place I could think of: the

dark corner behind the teacher’s desk. I knew she would never look there!

Later, Natalie finally got back from the cafeteria. She started searching

for her enormous winter jacket so she could go out for recess. When she

couldn’t find it, she became irate and began to tear apart the classroom.

The next thing I knew, the teacher was yelling after Natalie as she searched

every closet. I didn’t want to make things worse, so I finally admitted her

gigantic winter jacket was behind the teacher’s desk.

Even though my trick was a major disaster, at least it wasn’t for nothing.

Natalie never left her humungous winter jacket on my desk ever again.

A cademic Writing TypeA narrative tells a story. It can be either fiction or nonfiction. A personal narrative tells a story from the writer’s life and explains how his or her life changed as a result.

The introduction identifies the characters, setting, and topic.

Detail sentences tell the most important events of the story.

• Transition words or phrases show the order of events.

• Descriptive language makes the story more vivid and interesting.

The conclusion explains the importance of the story.

A

B

C

ANALYZE TEXT ELEMENTSRead this student model to analyze the elements of a narrative.

MARK & DISCUSS ELEMENTSMark the narrative elements. Then discuss them with your partner.

1. Circle the characters’ names. (One/Another) character is .

2. Draw a box around the setting. This narrative takes place (at/in/during) .

3. Put brackets around the topic within the introduction. The narrative is going to be about .

4. Underline and number (1–4) the events of the narrative. The first event in the narrative is .

A

B

C

132 Issue 6

LESSON 9

T each and Discuss Narrative Elements• As you introduce each element and marking task,

assign the relevant frame and facilitate discussion. Model the process with the � rst task and frame by reading a model response. Have partners (A/B) take turns listening and responding.

• Ask partners (A/B) to stand and report a response with each frame. Direct students to listen attentively and mark any missed elements.

• Have students circle the characters’ names. The narrator is the person who tells the story. In this personal narrative, the narrator is also a character in the story. Circle “I” to represent the narrator as a character, and circle the other characters’ names.

• Point out that the writer clearly described the setting. Have students identify and draw a box around the setting. The setting is where and when the story takes place.

• Reread the introductory paragraph and guide students to put brackets around the topic. The topic tells us what the story will be about.

• Remind students that a narrative includes a series of events. Have students underline each event and then number them in the order in which they appear.

BRIDGING (p. 116G)

MARK & DISCUSS ELEMENTS

Introduce the Academic Writing Type• Routine 12: Student Writing Model (p. T92)

Introduce the narrative writing type, pointing out the differences between this type and previous assignments. Our next writing task is a narrative. The purpose of a narrative is to tell a story. Narratives can be � ction, made up, or non-� ction, based on true events. The narratives we write will be personal narratives. In a personal narrative, the writer tells a story from his or her life, and explains how his or her life changed as a result.

• Echo-read the academic writing type description and guide students to underline key phrases.

Read the Student Writing Model• Tell students that you will analyze a narrative about a

trick the narrator pulled on a classmate.

• Display and read aloud the student model using Oral Cloze and Partner Cloze.

EXPANDING (p. 116G)

ANALYZE TEXT ELEMENTS

(similar) It was hard to tell the apart when they wore clothes.

Daily Do Now (p. 178)

3

4


The next thing I knew, the teacher was yelling after Natalie as she searched

winter jacket on my desk. So, I decided to be sneaky like a master thief and

2


1

E3DJrB_TEPE_I06_132-137_WR.indd 132 03/02/16 1:40 PM

FRONTLOADING LANGUAGE

Narrative

Language for Description

Guidelines for Using Language for DescriptionUse language for description, like precise verbs, adjectives, and adverbs, to m ake your writing more vivid and interesting.

USE DESCRIPTIVE LANGUAGEComplete the narrative frame with precise verbs, adjectives, and adverbs.

Mia was with the new kid, Diego! Every time

she passed Diego in the hall at school, she heard him bragging about all of his

talents. So Mia decided to teach Diego a

lesson in humility. She told Diego that the party

at Joshua’s house that weekend was a costume party—even though it wasn’t.

On Saturday, Mia got to Joshua’s house early. Soon, the house was

filled up with students. The next thing Mia knew,

Diego in, wearing a

frog costume! Every kid there laughed Even

Diego had to laugh about his outfit!

(precise adjective)

(precise adjective)

(precise adjective)

(precise adjective)

(past-tense verb) (precise adjective)

(precise adverb)

(precise adjective)

Everyday Descriptions Precise Descriptions

I saw Ava walking back to the classroom.

I saw Ava quickly strolling back to the lively classroom.

Ava wrote a cool story in English class.

Ava composed a wildly imaginative story in English class.

E veryday Language Precise Language

bad (adjective)

angry (adjective)

walk (verb)

major (adjective)

totally (adverb)

terrible, foul, rotten, dreadful

irate, annoyed, furious, enraged, fed up

stroll, saunter, hike, march

critical, principal, crucial, vital, essential

absolutely, completely, entirely

Trickster Tales 133

Teach the Language Skill • Read aloud the “Guidelines for

Using Language for Description” and have students circle the key words (e.g., vivid, interesting). Writers use descriptive language to create interesting narratives. Precise verbs, adjectives, and adverbs can be used to make the language of the narrative more interesting and vivid.

• Read aloud the “Everyday Descriptions” and “Precise Descriptions.”

Practice Using Precise Words and Phrases• Read aloud the � rst sentence of the frame. Model

how to use the chart above the frame to complete the sentence with descriptive language. Have students complete the sentence. After the past-tense verb was, we need a precise adjective. When we read on, we can tell that Mia is tired of Diego. Let’s use a more descriptive adjective to describe how Mia is feeling. Using the descriptive language chart, I can see that fed up is a precise synonym to the everyday word angry. I’ll write fed up.

• Direct students to complete the remaining sentences with descriptive language of their own. Remember, we want to make the story interesting, but we also want it to make sense. Make sure the precise words you write make sense.

• For each sentence in the narrative frame, preselect two students with strong responses to read aloud their sentences to the class. Then ask for partner nominations and volunteer reporters.

BRIDGING (p. 116G)

EXPANDING (p. 116G)

USE DESCRIPTIVE LANGUAGE

(worth) At a yard sale, I saw a used , but I didn’t think it was the price they were asking.


fed up

magnificent

critical

completely

sauntered neon green

hysterically.

ridiculous


FRONTLOADING CONVENTIONS

Academic Writing

IDENTIFY PAST-TENSE VERBS Read the narrative. Circle the simple past-tense and past-progressive verbs.

WRITE PAST-TENSE VERBSComplete each sentence with the simple past-tense or past-progressive form of the verb or verbs in parentheses.

1. I the cake before my friend’s birthday party. (bake)

2. I in the cafeteria, when my friend

his drink all over the table. (eat, spill)

3. Last month, Sarah her allowance to buy cool shoes. (save)

4. Roberto about baseball

when his teacher him a question. (think, ask)

Using Past-Tense Verbs

Guidelines for Using Past-Tense VerbsUse past-tense verbs to tell about events that happened in the past.

Use the simple past to tell about a completed action. The simple past-tense form of regular verbs ends in –ed. Remember the past-tense form of irregular verbs, such as see/saw, hear/heard, and feel/felt.

Felix finished . . . We argued . . . She studied . . .

Use the past progressive to tell about a continuous action that happened in the past. The past-progressive tense is formed with the past tense of the verb to be and the present participle of the verb (verb + –ing).

Felix was finishing . . . We were arguing . . . She was studying . . .

Every morning after breakfast, my brother left his dirty cereal bowl

on the counter, and I always ha d to clean it. He n eeded to learn a l esson.

One morning, I waited for my brother to leave his bowl behind. I

grabbed the bowl from the table and brought it up to his room. For a

while, I was having a blast searching for the most creative hiding place I

could find. Eventually, I decided to hide the dirty bowl under his bed.

A few days later, my brother complained about a smell in his room.

I just l aughed quietly. I guess he won’t forget to clean his bowl anymore!

134 Issue 6

LESSON 10

Teach the Conventions Skill• Read aloud the “Guidelines for

Using Past-Tense Verbs” and have students circle the key information (e.g., ends in –ed).

• Model how to form regular past-tense verbs:Adding –ed: To form a regular past-tense verb, add –ed to the base verb. For example, � nished.Dropping e: When a verb ends with e, drop the e and add –ed. Argue becomes argued.Changing y to i: For verbs that end with a consonant and the letter y, change the y to i and add –ed. For example, study becomes studied.

• Model how to form verbs in the past progressive:The present participle: To use the past progressive, begin with the past tense of the verb to be. Follow the past tense of the verb to be with the verb + –ing. For example, Felix � nished becomes Felix was � nishing.

Practice Analyzing a Model• Read aloud the model narrative using Oral Cloze.

• Point out that the writer used the irregular past-tense verb left and have students circle it.

• Point out that the writer used the regular past-tense verb needed and have students circle it.

• Point out that the writer used the past progressive was having and have students circle it.

• Ask partners to switch off reading the narrative sentence by sentence and circling the past-tense verbs.

• For additional practice, reread the model narrative (p. 132) with Oral Cloze. Direct partners to switch off reading the model text sentence by sentence and circling the past-tense verbs.

BRIDGING (p. 116G)

EXPANDING (p. 116G)

IDENTIFY PAST-TENSE VERBS

(outwit) I tried to my in the board game.


Apply Skill to Academic Writing• Read aloud the directions. Explain that certain words

will signal that an event happened in the past and should be described with simple past-tense forms or past-progressive forms of the verb.

• Read aloud sentence 1. Point out that the word before tells us that the action was completed in the past. Have students write baked to complete the sentence.

• Direct partners to refer to “Guidelines for Using Past-Tense Verbs” to complete the other sentences.

• Brie� y have partners (A/B) stand and report out to the class: For sentence number , we wrote the (simple past-tense/past-progressive-tense) form of the verb because .

WRITE PAST-TENSE VERBS

Every morning after breakfast, my brother left his dirty cereal bowl

on the counter, and I always ha d to clean it. He n eeded to learn a l esson. on the counter, and I always ha d to clean it. He n eeded to learn a l esson.

could find. Eventually, I decided to hide the dirty bowl under his bed.

A few days later, my brother complained about a smell in his room.

I just l aughed quietly. I guess he won’t forget to clean his bowl anymore!


baked

One morning, I waited for my brother to leave his bowl behind. I


while, I was having a blast searching for the most creative hiding place I

was eating

spilled

saved

asked

was thinking


PLAN KEY IDEAS & DETAILSUse real or imagined experiences to write a topic sentence.

Every

always left (in/on) my

Describe the events you will include in your narrative.

1. So, I

2. When (he/she)

(he/she) began to

3. The next thing I knew,

4. I finally

Write a conclusion that explains the importance of the story.

Even though my trick was a major at least it

wasn’t for nothing. never

ever again!

The Trick The Reason The Reaction

•

•

•

•

•

•

BRAINSTORM IDEASWrite an idea in each column. Use everyday language.

PromptDescribe a time you played a trick or were tricked by someone. Explain the reason for the trick and what happened.

Organize a Narrative

PLANNING TO WRITE

Narrative

he kept leaving it on my bed

brother never left the uniform out again

hid brother’s smelly uniform

(noun phrase: day after guitar lessons, weekend) (character)

(noun: his smelly soccer uniform, his stinky shoes) (noun: bed, table, couch)

Trickster Tales 135

Analyze the Writing Prompt• Have students echo-read the writing prompt. Direct

students to underline key words and phrases. In this narrative, you will describe a time you played a trick or were tricked by someone, the reason for the trick, and what happened.

Activate Prior Knowledge• Model how to brainstorm ideas. Think of a trick you

played on someone or a trick someone played on you.

• Use the board to display and record ideas.

• Call on a partner to stand (e.g., partner Bs) and report one new idea.

EXPANDING (p. 116G)

BRAINSTORM IDEAS

Guide Note-Taking• Routine 13: Planning to Write (p. T94) Read aloud

the frame for the topic sentence.

• Display a model response from the Brainstorm Ideas table and have students echo-read it. Model how to write a topic sentence that introduces the narrative’s setting. In the first blank, I’ll include the time of the narrative. For example, day after soccer practice. In the second blank, I’ll introduce a character. For example, my older brother Andres. In the third and fourth blanks, I’ll write the reason that I or someone else pulled a prank. For example, always left his smelly soccer uniform on my bed.

• Model how to write a detail sentence. Point out that the transitions words and phrases show the order of events. Since this transition phrase is “I finally,” I know the last event needs to go here.

• Direct students to complete the four detail sentences to describe the events of their narrative in the order that they happened.

• Model completing the conclusion to explain the importance of the story. Direct students to write their own conclusions.

• Preselect two students to report out their topic sentences, details, and conclusions.

BRIDGING (p. 116G)

PLAN KEY IDEAS & DETAILS

(profit) We would have to sell for a dollar a cup to make a .


she was mad at mesister pretended our dog ran away

didn’t trust her for a long time

decided to be sneaky and put his stinky uniform in the freezer.

he couldn’t find it,

he chase me around the house.

Mom was yelling at us and chasing both of us.

gave up and told Andres where to find his uniform.

day after soccer practice, my older brother Andres

his smelly soccer uniform bed.

(past-tense verb: left, tried, forgot)

(noun: failure, flop, disaster)

(character)

left his stinky, sweaty

flop,

Andres

uniform on my bed


Academic Writing

WRITING A DRAFT

I couldn’t take it any more! Every

always left (his/her)

(in/on) my

So I decided to be

sneaky and hide (it/them) I put the in the

hiding place I could think of:

I knew (he/she) would never look there!

Later, got back from

After (he/she)

started

When (he/she) couldn’t find (it/them)

(he/she) became and began to

The next thing I knew, was

I didn’t want to so after a few minutes, I finally

Even though my trick was a major at least it

wasn’t for nothing. never

ever again!

(noun phrase: morning, day after practice, afternoon after lunch)

WRITE AN ESSAYUse the frame and academic language to write a narrative.

PromptDescribe a time you played a trick or were tricked by someone. Explain the reason for the trick and what happened.

Write a Narrative

(character)

(noun phrase: chewed up pencils, smelly gym clothes, dirty sneakers)

(noun: shoes, clothes, toys)

(verb + –ing: looking, searching, preparing) (1st important event)

(verb + –ing phrase: eating dinner, getting out a notebook, doing the Do Now)

(noun: bed, desk, backpack)

(noun phrase: under my bed, in his closet, my messy desk)

(character) (noun: school, his friend’s house, practice)

(adjective: furious, angry, upset)

(character) (verb + –ing: yelling at, grounding, chasing)

(base verb: chase, tear apart, question) (2nd important event)

(adjective: creepiest, weirdest, craziest)

(exclamation: gross, argh, come on)

(3rd important event)

(base verb: get, increase, cause)

(past-tense verb: told, gave up, broke down) (4th important event)

(past-tense verb: left, tried, forgot)

(noun: failure, flop, disaster)

(character)

A

B

C

136 Issue 6

LESSON 11

Introduce the Writing Assignment• Routine 14: Writing a Draft (p. T96) Read the writing

prompt aloud to clarify the assignment.

• Display the narrative writing frame. Point out key features.

• Explain the purpose of the small text in parentheses. The small text in parentheses points out the grammar target and provides precise words to use.

Write the Introduction• Read aloud the frame for the introduction.

• Model how to use the notes (p. 135) to transfer the topic sentence to Section A of the frame. Notice that we need to introduce the setting, characters, and topic of the narrative in the introductory paragraph.

• Guide students to complete the rest of the introduction.

• Remind students to use correct pronouns to refer to the characters. In my essay, Andres is a boy, so I use the pronouns he, him, and his when I refer to him.

Write Detail Sentences• Remind students that detail sentences use transitions

to show the order of events and precise verbs, adjectives, and adverbs for descriptive language.

• Read aloud the frame for the first detail sentence, saying blank for blanks. Model how to complete the first detail sentence using your notes (p. 135).

• Direct students to review their notes (p. 135). Guide them in transferring content to write the remaining detail sentences.

• Remind students that the detail sentences should appear in the order that they happened.

Construct a Conclusion• Model how to write a conclusion that explains the

importance of the story.

• Guide students to complete the conclusion using precise language.

Read and Revise the Narrative• Read aloud the sample narrative. Model how to

replace everyday words with descriptive language (Portfolio, p. 133).

Write a Draft• Provide time for students to write their own narratives

on a computer or separate sheet of paper in response to the prompt.

• Direct partners (A/B) to take turns reading their narratives. Guide them to identify everyday words and replace them with precise synonyms.

BRIDGING (p. 116H)

EXPANDING (p. 116H)

WRITE AN ESSAY

(realize) Olivia didn’t that it was raining, so she went outside without (a/an) .


Wednesday after soccer practice,

my older brother Andres his

smelly soccer uniform

clothes

some frozen veggies.

searching for his soccer uniform so he could put it in the laundry.

room to room!

eating dinner,

bed.

in the freezer behind

Andres his friend’s house.

angry

my mom yelling and chasing us both from

chase me around the apartment.

he

he

he

it,

he

craziest

it.

Gross!

on

get in even more trouble

gave up and told my brother where I hid his foul-smelling uniform.

left his stinky, sweaty

flop,

Andres

uniform on my bed


Narrative

ASSESSING & REVISING

CHECK & EDITUse this checklist to proofread and edit your narrative.

□□ Did you capitalize proper nouns?

□□ Is each sentence complete?

□□ Are all words spelled correctly?

□□ Did you use commas to separate each transition from the rest of the sentence?

□□ Did you use past-tense verbs correctly?

ASSESS YOUR DRAFTRate your narrative essay. Then have a partner rate it.

1. Does the introduction clearly state the characters, setting, and topic of the narrative?

Self ① ② ③ ④

Partner ① ② ③ ④

2. Did you use transitions to show the order of events? Self ① ② ③ ④


3. Do the detail sentences present events in a clear and descriptive manner?

Self ① ② ③ ④


4. Did you include precise verbs, adjectives, and adverbs?

Self ① ② ③ ④


5. Does the conclusion explain the importance of the story?

Self ① ② ③ ④


Rate Your Narrative

REFLECT & REVISERecord specific priorities and suggestions to help you and your partner revise.

(Partner) Positive Feedback: I appreciate how you (used/included)

(Partner) Suggestion: One suggestion I have to improve your narrative is

(Self) Priority: I will revise my narrative so that it

Scoring Guide

① Insufficient ③ Sufficient

② Developing ④ Exemplary

Trickster Tales 137

LESSON 12

Self- and Peer Assess Narratives• Routine 15: Peer Feedback (p. T98) If students wrote

their essays electronically, have them print their drafts. Review the narrative elements (p. 132) and have students mark them in their drafts.

• Review the Scoring Guide criteria and what constitutes a score of 1–4.

• Distribute the Student Writing Sample: Narrative (HMH Teacher Central) and read it using Oral Cloze. Guide students in using the Scoring Guide to rate each element.

• Have students silently read their narratives and circle ratings to self-assess.

• Direct partners to exchange books and narratives, read their partners’ narratives, and circle ratings in their partners’ books.

BRIDGING (p. 116H)

EXPANDING (p. 116H)

ASSESS YOUR DRAFT

Discuss Feedback• Remind partners to give positive feedback before

making a suggestion for revision.

• Model how to give feedback. You might say, “I appreciate how you stated the setting in the introduction. One suggestion I have to improve your narrative is to include more descriptive detail sentences. Do you have any questions?”

• Guide students to use frames to write positive feedback and a suggestion in their partner’s book.

• Have partners return books and clarify feedback using the frames: Could you explain what you mean by ? So what you’re saying is . Then, have students set a priority for revision.

• Allow students to revise their narratives, focusing on areas with the lowest ratings.

REFLECT & REVISE

Complete a Proofreading Checklist• Ask students to review each item in the checklist and

reread their narratives to proofread and edit.

Write a Final Draft• Support students as they revise their drafts. Have

students publish their work through a school blog or website. Encourage interaction and collaboration.

• Score student narratives using the Narrative Writing Rubric (HMH Teacher Central) and provide feedback.

BRIDGING (p. 116H)

EXPANDING (p. 116H)

CHECK & EDIT

(worth) I wondered whether buying was the long trip to the store.



academic writing lesson 9 analyzing text elements

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