Academic Writing:elements of an academic register

Mark Howiemark.howie@det.nsw.edu.au

The Speaking / Writing Continuum

Spoken-like Written-like

Immediate audience (personal & subjective)

Distant audience(impersonal & objective)

Elliptic Elaborated & Dense

Spontaneous Rhetorical

Colloquial & informal Technical & formal

Moving students along the continuum can be a challenge........

• Context is a text exchange about related texts forwarded by an ex-student of mine now tutoring a TAFE student in HSC English:

Brilliant! but I’m a bit confused about the last message. I just bought the study guides from dymocks cause no c**t wanted to help me find the actual books!! Sure babe xx

Teaching writing – where does grammar fit in?

Texts work at: 1. Whole text level

2. Paragraph level

3. Sentence level

4. Clausal level

Think & Share

• What aspects of grammar do you believe to be most useful in creating an academic register?

Read & ShareWhat aspects of grammar give this model text (used recently with 11 Standard) an

academic register? Share your thoughts.

In “The Year of the Kiln Portraits” Murray represents a vibrant domestic scene in a voice that is full of gratitude and love. Murray pays homage in a generous voice to the deeply spiritual and creative life his wife and family have helped to create and he accordingly voices his gratitude for the joy and he comfort he finds in his day to day life with them. He also voices his reverence for tradition and continuity by representing the connections between the activities undertaken in the house and ancient creative traditions. This is most evident in the way the poem is paradoxically structured around oppositions but still creates a sense of harmony. (add example and analysis). It is also evident in (add technique and analysis). In summary, “The Year of the Kiln Portraits” gives voice to a generous and loving representation of the spiritual and emotional sustenance to be found in the family home, at the same time expressing great reverence for the values of tradition and continuity.

Focus: noun & verb groups

• What are they?

• What do they add?

• How do they contribute to an academic register?

Text deconstruction: noun & verb groups

• In “The Year of the Kiln Portraits” Murray represents a vibrant domestic scene in a voice that is full of gratitude and love. Murray pays homage in a generous voice to the deeply spiritual and creative life his wife and family have helped to create and he accordingly voices his gratitude for the joy and he comfort he finds in his day to day life with them. He also voices his reverence for tradition and continuity by representing the connections between the activities undertaken in the house and ancient creative traditions. This is most evident in the way the poem is paradoxically structured around oppositions but still creates a sense of harmony. (add example and analysis). It is also evident in (add technique and analysis). In summary, “The Year of the Kiln Portraits” gives voice to a generous and loving representation of the spiritual and emotional sustenance to be found in the family home, at the same time expressing great reverence for the values of tradition and continuity.

Noun groups: pre & post-modifiersWhat are they?

A noun group is a group of words building on a noun. Noun groups usually consist of an article (the, a, an) plus one or more adjectives. They can also include demonstratives (eg this, those), possessives (eg ‘my’, ‘Ann's’), quantifiers (eg ‘two’, ‘several’), classifiers (eg ‘wooden’) before the head noun. These are called pre-modifiers. After the noun, we can find phrases and clauses as post-modifiers following the head noun (eg ‘the girl with the red shirt who was playing soccer’).

(Substitute adverbs / adverbials for verb groups)

Noun groups: pre & post-modifiersWhat are they?

Consider the following example from a newspaper article:

In some of the more realistic, sophisticated and subtle images we choose to make just for ourselves, Australians seem so much freer to rush forward.

Here we see the noun images positioned within a noun group that includes:a pre-determiner: In some ofa determiner: thepost determiners: more realisticpre-modifiers: sophisticated and subtlehead (noun): imagespost-modifier: we choose to make for ourselves.

Noun groups: pre & post-modifiersWhat are they?

Compare the original with this rewriting:

Australians make images for themselves. Some of these are realistic, sophisticated and subtle. They move us forward.

Both sentences present, more or less, the same information.

But which seems to be the expression of an individual working at a higher order of thinking and with a better command of language?

Select one:a. the originalb. the rewritingc. bothd. neither

Noun groups & adjectival phrasesWhat do they add?

Answer yes or no to the following suggestions:1. A sense of development or elaboration?2. Less complex sentence structures more typical of

informal ‘spoken’ text than a ‘formal’ written text?3. An impersonal voice?4. A sense of (creative) flair in the writing?5. Precision?6. Irrelevant waffle?7. Lower order cognition

Text deconstructionText element Example from the model text

Elaboration a vibrant domestic scene in a voice that is full of gratitude and love.

A ‘written’ like formality & density

to a generous and loving representation of the spiritual and emotional sustenance to be found in the family home

A personal voice (created through constant evaluation & judgement)

Sense of flair spiritual and emotional sustenance

Precision ancient creative traditions

Higher order evaluation

a generous voice / deeply spiritual /great reverence

Application:identify 1 noun group & 1 verb group from this 12Advanced student

example & share your answers

Through the appropriation of both Republican and Imperial rhetoric within Julius Caesar, Shakespeare represents on stage conflicting perspectives on political discourse through the dramatic juxtaposition of his characters, naturally being drawn to such aspects in a tumultuous political era. More specifically, the question we are dealing with here is whether Shakespeare was explicitly vocalising radical personal views on political or moral order, or whether this prevalent ambiguity was deliberate. Shakespeare seems to be siding with emerging humanism through the very act of Caesar’s assassination immediately after his ascension to the throne, distributing power to the common people, evident in the very first act. The apposite diction of the cobbler’s lines “thou saucy fellow!” seems to be favouring the oft-overlooked yet charming wit of the commoners. The pun of “mending bad soles” effectively communicates the purging of Imperialism and Caesar, somewhat justifying the conspirators Cassius and Brutus. Caesar’s murder is wholly moral (on the surface) for lending the commoners the ability to partake in public discourse, and disallowing the dismal breakdown of the historical and cultural values of Rome.

Application:identify 1 noun group & 1 verb group from this 12Advanced student

example & share your answers

Through the appropriation of both Republican and Imperial rhetoric within Julius Caesar, Shakespeare represents on stage conflicting perspectives on political discourse through the dramatic juxtaposition of his characters, naturally being drawn to such aspects in a tumultuous political era. More specifically, the question we are dealing with here is whether Shakespeare was explicitly vocalising radical personal views on political or moral order, or whether this prevalent ambiguity was deliberate. Shakespeare seems to be siding with emerging humanism through the very act of Caesar’s assassination immediately after his ascension to the throne, distributing power to the common people, evident in the very first act. The apposite diction of the cobbler’s lines “thou saucy fellow!” seems to be favouring the oft-overlooked yet charming wit of the commoners. The pun of “mending bad soles” effectively communicates the purging of Imperialism and Caesar, somewhat justifying the conspirators Cassius and Brutus. Caesar’s murder is wholly moral (on the surface) for lending the commoners the ability to partake in public discourse, and disallowing the dismal breakdown of the historical and cultural values of Rome.

Lesson Planning

Assessment

Building Field

Modelling

Joint constructio

n

Independent

construction

Possible strategies(in context of content being taught & an essay required)

Phase in Cycle Strategies

Building Field ’mini-lesson’ or revision on adjectives /nouns/adjectival phrases: worksheet, parsing or labelling etc

Modelling paragraph written by teacher: labelling / deconstruction’real life’ examples (e.g. from newspaper) & discussion of effects using word banks to build noun groups (relevant to the content that has been studied)building noun groups through matching activities

Joint construction cloze exercise on another paragraph written by teacher, replacing or suggesting noun groupsparagraph writing in pairs or groups

Independent Construction

writing of paragraph/s with focus in assessment on noun groups (n.b. presumes confidence with content & a supporting structure such as PEEL)

Task:complete the matching activity to reconstruct noun groups & share 2 of your

responses

Nouns Pre & post-modifiers

deregulation the redundant cattle

responsible for the changes

dog, the rural

elites in Australia in the 1990s

victims which has been put down following the foreclosure on the farm,

of rapid economic change in Australia in the 1990sbanking

the city economic

A second Murray poem, “The Rollover”, shifts the idea of home from a domestic scene to the idea of the nation and a national identity. Murray sharply satirises banking deregulation in Australia in the 1990s, voicing his anger at the pain and disruption this caused to farmers and country people more generally, showing that they are no longer at home in their own country. In keeping with his reverence for tradition and continuity, highlighting the way such things sustains a sense of community and enrich people’s lives, Murray bemoans the loss of the local bank branch and staff as important aspects of rural life, using a satirical voice to illustrate the moral bankruptcy of the changes he sees around him. This is most evident in his use of the literary technique of inversion. Familiar phrases are inverted to show the corruption and moral bankruptcy of the city economic elites responsible for the changes, “it’s all an Owned Boys story” and “But you have to line the drawer somewhere”. It is also seen in the deliberately false pathos that Murray expresses through absurd images. Rather than the sad loss of the redundant cattle dog, which has been put down following the foreclosure on the farm, Murray’s imagined bankers, who have instead been evicted, have to put to death their computers, “There’s the faithful VDU, shot dead, still on its lead”. Using a sharp satirical voice in “The Turnover”, Murray champions the rural victims of rapid economic change in Australia in the 1990s, using inversion and false pathos to show that they are the true holders of decent values, in the process lamenting the loss of some very important traditions that sustained life in country towns.

Other useful grammatical elements:• Nominalisation: verbs to nouns

*Murray sharply satirises banking deregulation in Australia in the 1990s....

* Familiar phrases are inverted to show the corruption and moral bankruptcy

* following the foreclosure on the farm, Murray’s imagined bankers,....

Given/new pattern at sentence level

• Working within a PEEEL structure at paragraph level

A second Murray poem, “The Rollover”, shifts the idea of home from a domestic scene to the idea of the nation and a national identity. Murray sharply satirises banking deregulation in Australia in the 1990s, voicing his anger at the pain and disruption this caused to farmers and country people more generally, showing that they are no longer at home in their own country. In keeping with his reverence for tradition and continuity, highlighting the way such things sustains a sense of community and enrich people’s lives, Murray bemoans the loss of the local bank branch and staff as important aspects of rural life, using a satirical voice to illustrate the moral bankruptcy of the changes he sees around him. This is most evident in his use of the literary technique of inversion. Familiar phrases are inverted to show the corruption and moral bankruptcy of the city economic elites responsible for the changes, “it’s all an Owned Boys story” and “But you have to line the drawer somewhere”. It is also seen in the deliberately false pathos that Murray expresses through absurd images. Rather than the sad loss of the redundant cattle dog, which has been put down following the foreclosure on the farm, Murray’s imagined bankers, who have instead been evicted, have to put to death their computers, “There’s the faithful VDU, shot dead, still on its lead”. Using a sharp satirical voice in “The Turnover”, Murray champions the rural victims of rapid economic change in Australia in the 1990s, using inversion and false pathos to show that they are the true holders of decent values, in the process lamenting the loss of some very important traditions that sustained life in country towns.

Reflection

Reflect on your learning tonight by writing (& sharing) *2 sentences that include a VERB group and a NOUN group withat least one pre-modifier in eacha post modifier in each*1 nominalisation*A given/new structure in the movement from the 1st to the 2nd sentence