3 pages 9-12 filepage 12 bumper sticker snickers i used to have a handle on life, but it broke. i...
TRANSCRIPT
Page 9
Pull, Buddy
An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse, named Buddy. He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull!" Buddy didn't move. Then the farmer hollered, "Pull, Buster, pull!" Buddy didn't respond. Once more the farmer commanded, "Pull, Coco, pull!" Nothing. Then the farmer nonchalantly said, "Pull, Buddy, pull!" And the horse easily dragged the car out of the ditch.
The motorist was most appreciative and very curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times.
The farmer said, "Oh, Buddy is blind and if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn't even try."
Teacher: Megan, what are the
four main food groups?
Megan: Canned, frozen, instant and lite.
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Figure This Riddle A farmer, his daughter, the policeman, and his wife won the lottery and divided the prize into three. How can this be?
(Answer on pg. 21)
Page 10
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Page 11
Boastful Race Horses Some race horses were staying in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his track record. "In the last 15 races, I've won 8 of them!" Another horse breaks in, "Well in the last 27 races, I've won 19!!" "Oh that's good, but in the last 36 races, I've won 28!" says another, flicking his tail. At this point, they notice that a greyhound dog has been sitting there listening. "I don't mean to boast," says the greyhound, "but in my last 90 races, I've won 88 of them!" The horses are clearly amazed. "Wow!" says one, after a hushed silence, "A talking dog."
The Farmer & The Lottery I saw an interview on TV where this one old farmer won ten million in the Lottery. Naturally, he was asked what he was going to do with all that money. He kinda scratched his head and said, "Not sure as I know right off. Guess I'll keep farmin' till it's all gone."
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Page 12
Bumper Sticker Snickers
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
Where there's a will...I want to be in it.
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Always remember you're unique...Just like everyone else.
If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you.
Day on the Farm Dad: How was your first day of farm work? Son: I dug up potatoes all day! What a waste of time! Father: Why? Son: Well, if I'm just going to dig them up, why bother burying them in the first place?
“Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it
from betting on people.”
- W. C. Fields
Cowboy Wisdom
He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
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