“He’s not my friend,” my three year old son declared at school. “Why?” I inquired. “He threw sand at me in the playground.”

What! It’s interesting for me to reflect on my response. I felt upset for my son and started to imagine how it might have happened. I also realised that this was the first of what would be many stories of playground fights, friendship dramas and the like.

So what’s my role? How much do I offer comfort and sympathy and where’s the balance with letting him sort it out and learning to move on?

While I want my children to feel supported and to know there are always cuddles on offer, I also want them to deal with the normal frustrations of life and understand that that’s part of growing up.

Doing too much for your kids and,

in the process, ruining them, is the theme of Lori Gottlieb’s great piece How to Land Your Kid in Therapy.

Studying clinical psychology, Lori learned the theory that if parents lavish too little affection on their kids, the children will end up in therapy. But after seeing patients, she discovered the opposite - that many parents actually do too much. She saw young adults feeling empty, confused and anxious because their well-meaning parents wrapped them in cotton wool, tried valiantly to protect them from unhappiness as children and made them believe their life would be perfect. It’s a good read.

Life will keep throwing sand at my son and it’s not my job to protect him from that. My job is to help him deal with it – to help him grow up.

Best wishes from my family to yours, Felicity de Fombelle

PS: Do you have a story for Your Family, Your Faith? Email me at felicity@catholiclife.org.au The most important person in this newsletter is you – our reader. So let me know your thoughts.

A PRINCIPAL’S PERSPECTIVE

by Angus Tulley

IN THIS EDITIONWrestling with Dad .......................2

Little kidlets growing up ..............3

Landing your Kids in Therapy ....4

Managing on a Single Income ..6

Storms in our family lives ............6

A bestseller book ...........................8

One of the blessings of schools is the consolation that can be taken from the routines that are part of each and every day. As I have often said at Year 12 Graduations, the gala events are few and far between, and what is more important is the experience that students have on a daily basis. The challenge for schools is to ensure that these routines are life-giving and nurturing.

One of my favourite books is the ‘Book of Sacramental Basics’ by Tad Guzie. He talks about ‘the rhythm

EDITOR’S NOTE

Making it Meaningful

that makes life human’. A major part of this is being aware of the rhythm of our lives and not taking the little things for granted. He encourages people to reflect on their experience and to notice what is happening around them. He goes on to talk about the cycle of lived experience, story and festivity – something that I’ll return to in a later issue. The essential message is to be grateful for all that happens in our lives.

As I wander down the corridors in the school I try my best to greet students

Continued over...

Your Family, Your FaithIssue Four 2012

Three year olds at prayer p7

A DAD’S PERSPECTIVE“CHILDREN NEED ROUGH AND TUMBLE PLAY WITH DAD” by Shawn van der Linden

Children, and in particular boys, need to “wrestle with their fathers”.

I have many memories of wrestling with my Dad as a young boy. They were usually spontaneous moments of fun and intensity and always involved some kind of “test” to see if I had gotten any stronger since the last wrestle.

As a father of four young children I can say that wrestling with them is one of the best things about being a dad. I love chasing them around the house or playing the “if you move you get tickled more, so don’t move” game. No matter how stressed I’m feeling, hearing one of their big, belly laughs erupt as I swing them around makes all my cares go away.

Before I go on, I am aware that this issue is highly complex and can cause offence or highlight strong feelings. In no way is it my intention to cause offence, especially for those who find themselves in the situation, for whatever reason, of raising children without the positive presence and support of the biological father. However, I do not think this topic should be avoided either as I feel that there is generally not enough

encouragement in our society for fathers and the critically important contribution they make in the lives of their kids.

It comes as no surprise to me that research from Newcastle University in NSW has given “Dad wrestling” the big thumbs-up. Dr Richard Fletcher says that during a wrestle, kids find out the limits of their power and learn how to manage excitement, frustration and aggression. In turn, dads indicate when their children have gone too far and show them how to retreat from extremes.

The research is showing that rough and tumble play with Dad helps with the development and shaping of the child’s brain, and in particular the connections in their brain. Wrestling with Dad is that ideal and safe place where children can develop the ability to manage emotions, thinking and physical action all together at the same time. This is a key developmental stage for preschool children and has all sorts of implications for the future resilience that the child will take into life.

Further to this, child development research is also showing that the

impact of the father on the child starts much earlier than the preschool years. In the first few hours after birth a baby can be looking for its father. It is also being shown that when a father creates a bond with their child from the earliest days after birth this boosts the way their child’s brain develops.

All of this child development research further contributes to the extremely well established social science data on the importance of fathers in children’s lives.

Thousands of international studies have told us the same thing: children do better by every social indicator when a father is present. As forensic psychologist Shawn Johnston said, “The research is absolutely clear … the one human being most capable of curbing the anti-social aggression of a boy is his biological father”.

So we fathers can take heart in the knowledge that the next time we engage in a bit of rough and tumble play with our kids, we are actually doing some pretty hard-core parenting!

* Shawn is Director of Pastoral Support Services (CatholicLIFE)

and staff by name. Greetings can be matter of fact but it is amazing what can come out of simply acknowledging others. Mostly when you take the trouble to say hello, and if you can remember a name, you will get a smile in return.

I wonder how many parents think about the way they greet their children in the morning and say goodnight to them before they go to bed. (Some readers will smile because as it turns out they are going to bed before their children – another reality in the modern age).

In reflecting on the ordinary we realise that what we do each and every day conveys some of our deepest feelings and most cherished values. In greeting our children we aren’t just acknowledging their presence or signifying our connectedness. We are telling them that we love them for who they are and that we want the best for them in life. Hopefully in the morning we are wishing them well for another wonderful day and indicating that we are with them in their journey. Sometimes the response we get can be a grunt or even stony silence. Not everyone is at their best first thing in the morning and in this busy world we can be somewhat out of it by the time we go to bed – all the more reason to establish routines and to take the time to say good morning or goodnight. Even better if there is the occasional hug!

Noticing the little things in life is very much part of the ‘rhythm that makes life human’.

A PRINCIPAL’S PERSPECTIVE...continued from cover

2

A MUM’S PERSPECTIVE“MY LITTLE KIDLETS ARE LEAVING HOME … ONE DAY” by Annabelle O’Connell

A time to chuckle A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, and looked at the old pages as he turned them. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible, and he picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between the pages. “Mum, look what I found,” the boy called out. “What have you got there, my dear?” his mother asked. With astonishment in the young boy’s voice, he answered: “I think it’s Adam’s suit!”From a three-year-old: “Our Father, Who does art in heaven, Harold is His name. Amen.”

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Over the last month or so I’ve come to the realisation that my tiny baby children have gone – they are now two rather tall individuals who can both almost look me in the eye. My 12 year old has a bigger foot than I do and my nine year old can’t wait until she can borrow my shoes, because they almost fit. Hmph.

So, the bigger they get, the more grown-up, scary things they can do for themselves. Walking to school on their own, winding their way through the metropolis of Yass (well it’s really just walking down the hill, but it’s quite a big hill), making themselves lunch (a peanut butter sandwich), boiling hot beverages (warm milo milk in the microwave) and chopping things with sharp, bitey knives.

There’s been some feelings of grief about suddenly realising my little kidlets will be completely independent and move away from me one day. That’s when I remind myself that their ability to spread things on bread doesn’t mean they’re ready to leave home just yet …

When that happens I will enter a whole next chapter of heartache,

mixed with a great deal of pride in them and excitement for their adventure, but there’ll be much emotion and constant hyper-prayers for their safety and happiness. There’s a fair bit of time before that day comes, and by then they’ll have traversed the narky, spotty, angst-ridden (and possibly joyful, at times) path through teenagerhood. Hopefully there will be the getting of wisdom and not many battle scars at the other end. For them either - HARDY HAR HAR.

And of course, protecting my kids, our kids, is about more than their physical safety. There are situations that are not possible to ‘pretend’ your way through. My kids have lived through some tragic deaths in our community and the divorce of some friends’ parents; they have heard appalling things via newsflashes on TV (not quick enough with the remote), and, so far and thankfully, have asked Anthony and I questions and talked about how they feel and what they think of these things.

It is heartbreaking to see them comprehend that there are some truly diabolical things that we have no

control over. I am given hope when their subsequent evening prayers usually contain something about God sending love and comfort to those who need it.

I rather don’t like that I am absolutely not in control of what happens to my kids when they’re away from me. To me, this is why it’s essential for us to be fully informed about their school life and, where possible, involved. It’s also important to meet and know their friends and their friends’ parents. This is also where reliance on God comes in BIG TIME: Jesus tells us that God is in control. God is our Father, and he feels about my kids much the same way I do. Apparently, he loves them more deeply, and that is something I just can’t get my head around.

I’m quite sure that someone who loves my kids that much wants the world for them, and will do whatever he can to protect and strengthen them, as Anthony and I do. There will be tough times in their lives when Anthony and I aren’t with them, sadly, so I want my kids to know and trust their heavenly Father who will not fail them, and who is there ‘whatever befall’.

Feeling lost in the crowd?

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The research was clear: fail to “mirror” your children, or miss their “cues”, or lavish too little affection on them, and a few decades later, if they had the funds, they would likely end up in one of our psychotherapy offices, recounting the time Mum did this and Dad didn’t do that, for 50 minutes weekly, sometimes for years.

Our main job as psychotherapists, in fact, was to “re-parent” our patients, to provide a “corrective emotional experience” in which they would unconsciously transfer their early feelings of injury onto us, so we could offer a different response, a more attuned and empathic one than they got in childhood.

At least, that was the theory. Then I started seeing patients.

I met a patient I’ll call Lizzie. Imagine a bright, attractive 20-something woman with strong friendships, a close family, and a deep sense of emptiness. She had come in, she told me, because she was “just not happy”. And what was so upsetting, she continued, was that she felt she had nothing to be unhappy about. She had “awesome” parents, two fabulous siblings, supportive friends, an excellent education, a cool job, good health, and a nice apartment. So why did she feel “less amazing” than her parents had always told her she was?

I started getting more patients like her, adults in their 20s or early 30s who reported that they, too, suffered from depression and anxiety, had difficulty choosing or committing to a satisfying career path, struggled with relationships, and just generally felt a sense of emptiness or lack of purpose – yet they had little to quibble with about Mum or Dad.

Instead, these patients “adored” their parents. Many called them their “best friends in the whole world”. Sometimes these same parents would even be funding their psychotherapy,

which left my patients feeling both guilty and utterly confused. After all, their biggest complaint was that they had nothing to complain about! In short, these were parents who had always been “attuned”, as we therapists like to say, and guided my patients through any and all trials and tribulations of childhood. Was it possible these parents had done too much?

Here I was, seeing the flesh-and-blood results of the kind of parenting that my peers and I were trying to practice with our own kids, precisely so that they wouldn’t end up on a therapist’s couch one day. We were running ourselves ragged in a herculean effort to do right by our kids – yet what seemed like grown-up versions of them were sitting in our offices, saying they felt empty, confused and anxious. Back in graduate school, the clinical focus had always been on how the lack of parental attunement affects the child. It never occurred to any of us to ask, what if the parents are too attuned? What happens to those kids?

The underlying goal of good parenting has long been the same: to raise children who will grow into

productive, happy adults. What seems to have changed in recent years, though, is the way we think about and define happiness, both for our children and for ourselves. Nowadays, it’s not enough to be happy – if you can be even happier. It’s precisely this goal that many modern parents focus on obsessively – only to see it backfire. Observing this phenomenon, my colleagues and

I began to wonder: Could it be that by protecting our kids from unhappiness as children, we’re depriving them of happiness as adults?

UCLA psychiatrist Paul Bohn believes many parents will do anything to avoid having their kids experience even mild discomfort, anxiety or disappointment – “anything less than pleasant” – with the result that when, as adults, they experience the normal frustrations of life, they think something must be terribly wrong.

Dan Kindlon, a child psychologist and lecturer at Harvard, warns if kids can’t experience painful feelings, they won’t develop “psychological immunity”.

“Kids need exposure to discomfort, failure and struggle,” he said. “I know of one kid who didn’t like another kid in the carpool, so instead of having their child learn to tolerate the other kid, his parents offered to drive him to school themselves. By the time they’re teenagers, they have no experience with hardship. Civilisation is about adapting to less-than-perfect situations, yet parents often have this instantaneous reaction to unpleasantness, which is ‘I can fix this’.”

Family psychologist Jeff Blume said, “If we want our kids to grow up and be more independent, then we should prepare them to leave us every day. We’re confusing our own needs with our kids’ needs and calling it good parenting. It’s sad to watch. I can’t

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“HOW TO LAND YOUR KID IN THERAPY” by Lori Gottlieb

Lori Gottlieb

tell you how often I have to say to parents that they’re putting too much emphasis on their kids’ feelings because of their own issues. If a therapist is telling you to pay less attention to your kid’s feelings, you know something has gotten way out of whack.”

“There’s a difference between being loved and being constantly monitored,” Dan Kindlon told me. Even he struggles. “We genuinely like spending time with our kids. We hope they’ll think of us as their best friends, which is different from parents who wanted their kids to appreciate them, but didn’t need them to be their pals. Many of us text with our kids several times a day, and would miss it if it didn’t happen. We don’t set limits, because we want our kids to like us at every moment, even though it’s better for them if sometimes they can’t stand us.”

Kindlon also observed that because we tend to have fewer kids than past generations, each becomes more precious. So we demand more from them – more companionship, more achievement, more happiness.

“We want our kids to be happy living the life we envision for them – the banker who’s happy, the surgeon who’s happy,” Barry Schwartz, the social scientist, told me, even though those professions “might not actually make them happy. Even though we say what we want most for our kids is their happiness, and we’ll do everything we can to help them achieve that, it’s unclear where

parental happiness ends and our children’s happiness begins.”

Jean Twenge, a co-author of The Narcissism Epidemic, said when ego-boosting parents exclaim “Great job!” not just the first time a young child puts on his shoes but every single morning, the child learns to feel that everything he does is special. “Parents are constantly telling their children how special and talented they are,” Twenge explains. “This gives them an inflated view of their specialness compared to other human beings. Instead of feeling good about themselves, they feel better than anyone else.”

In early adulthood, this becomes a big problem. “People who feel like they’re unusually special end up alienating those around them. They don’t like being told by a boss that their work might need improvement and they feel insecure if they don’t get a constant stream of praise. They grew up in a bubble, so they get out into the real world and start to feel lost and helpless. Kids who always have problems solved for them believe they don’t know how to solve problems. And they don’t.”

Clinical psychologist Wendy Mogel says that, today, “every child is either learning-disabled, gifted, or both –

there’s no average”. When she first started doing psychological testing in the 1980s, she would dread having to tell parents their child had a learning disability. But now, she says, parents would prefer to believe their child has a learning disability that explains any less-than-stellar performance, rather than have their child be perceived as simply average. “They believe that average is bad for self-esteem.”

The message we send kids is that they are entitled to a perfect life. In fact, by trying so hard to provide the perfectly happy childhood, we’re just making it harder for our kids to actually grow up. Maybe we parents are the ones who have some growing up to do – and some letting go.

As Wendy Mogel likes to say, “Our children are not our masterpieces.”

Recently I noticed that one of my patients had started to seem uncomfortable. “My parents would feel like failures if they knew I was here,” he explained. “At the same time, maybe they’d be glad I’m here, because they just want me to be happy. So I’m not sure if they’d be relieved that I’ve come here to be happier, or disappointed that I’m not already happy. Do you know what I mean?”

*This is an edited extract (with the author’s permission) from The Atlantic Monthly. Available online at: www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2011/07/how-to-land-your-kid-in-therapy/8555/

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UMBERT THE UNBORN The feisty comic strip character who demands respect!

“Our children are not our masterpieces.

”

FAMILY MATTERS“A LARGE FAMILY MANAGING ON A SINGLE INCOME” by Cathy Drumore

After my last column, we were asked how we actually did afford to send our three eldest girls to Italy. Well, that’s easy – we used the redraw on the home loan! We envisioned paying off the mortgage in about 10 years but this is looking less likely as we’re discovering that teenagers’ school fees, braces and everything else (like mobile phone credit!) are more expensive. But that’s life, isn’t it? Kids are kind of “cheaper by the dozen” in some ways but not in others.

So, how does a large family manage on a single income? I guess it depends on the income the breadwinner draws (and, yes, I’ll leave the inadequacy of teacher’s pay in attracting the right teachers out of this!) but it really just comes down to living within your means, and having a little bit of humility (useful as Christians!).

Our family tends to have one of things - only one TV, x-Box, and wii. Laptops are the exception – we have one each for homework purposes, courtesy of Drumore Computer Services! Kids share rooms – they actually like to, most of the time. Our meals are generally quick-cooking, eg. Stir-frys, and are padded out with rice or pasta. Of course, we have two Hills Hoists but only one 8kg washing machine. The dishwasher is currently on the blink so the children are practicing the lost art of dishwashing (with varying degrees of enthusiasm!). My pram (an ebay special) is outdated but adequate, and the kids clothing is mostly purchased on special (or hand-me-downs).

Whenever I get a bit envious of others’ nice cars or clothes (or prams), I am conscious of my two younger brothers training very frugally for the priesthood in the Phillipines. Both gave up good jobs (engineering and

science research) to seemingly live mostly on rice and prayer! Yet the people they witness to are much poorer than they are. At least we have cars and new clothes and plenty of food! I often feel both blessed and rich, comparatively speaking.

I’d also like to thank Mr Howard’s government for introducing substantial financial assistance to families, and to later governments for continuing this. There has been some resistance to “middle class welfare” but I always say that investing taxpayers’ money in families is investing in more taxpayers (and our family is growing lots!).

As families, we can’t really give up everything financially to follow Jesus but we can at least make sure that if we use our money wisely, our children will understand its value and appreciate the privileges that are so easy to take for granted.

FAMILY & FAITH“THE STORMS IN OUR FAMILY LIVES” by Deacon Matt Ransom*

Soon after me, my wife Cathy, and our children Ruth

and Patrick, arrived in Cairns, we had to face the onslaught of tropical cyclone Steve. As is the case in the far North, there were warnings, preparations and panic … well maybe we were the only ones panicking. After a few days of watching this weather pattern heading towards our city, it finally hit. And I have never seen anything quite like it.

Imagine a favorite, beautiful, full-grown tree in your garden, thrashing around like five giant hands were attempting to rip it from the soil. That was the effect of Cyclone Steve. Except every tree and plant suffered from this onslaught, as well as homes and businesses.

In the midst of this, the four of us grew more frightened, having never experienced this in Canberra. Finally, someone had the great idea of getting out the guitars and praising God. As we sang, this beautiful peace descended upon us. It was like Jesus in the storm with His Disciples. Through our focus on God, He came and settled the storm in our hearts.

Perhaps there are storms in your life; a difficulty in your family, trouble at work, financial challenges? Maybe you are anxious about the ferocious attack on traditional Christian marriage and family. It was a worry that Blessed John Paul II had, when he said, “As the family goes, so goes the nation and so goes the whole world in which we live.” Why not take some time to focus on Jesus to bring peace, calm and answers to your storms.

There have been many ‘storms of life’ that have battered our family. I remember an exciting opportunity to set up a ministry of evangelization in a local College, but there was great opposition from elements within the school. During this time, however, the love, prayer and fun of our family saw me through., and this ministry continued for a fruitful seven years.

Cyclone Steve finally moved on to other parts of Australia. It left behind a battered city. Yet in the midst of this, we were aware of a deep peace and a sense of God’s protection over our lives. May you too experience this same peace and grace of our heavenly Father in your family.

* The Catholic Church has ‘Deacons‘ who can marry and perform some sacraments like weddings and baptisms.

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Continued on back page...

A prayer group for three-year-olds? Yes, and the children love it.

Each week, the pre-schoolers gather in a specially prepared prayer space called an ‘atrium’, filled with hands-on materials and furniture made to their size, including a small altar.

The sessions are an opportunity for children to get to know and grow with God, and are part of an international program of faith formation for children called the Catechesis of the Good Shepherd, which is based on the Montessori ‘hands-on’ teaching philosophy.

“Children don’t have to be able to read or write to be able to pray,” teacher and organiser Camille Corson said.

“It is such a rich experience for them – their place of retreat. Many people are surprised the children can be quiet for two hours, but if you give them the opportunity, they thrive.”

An atrium session often begins at the prayer table. The children may learn a new song and there’s usually a group presentation on a particular theme. But for most of the session the children work independently using the materials in the room.

Children might choose to do some art work or one child might go straight to the flower arranging. Another might set the small model altar or ask Camille to present a new work about the Mass. Other children might use the small figures and dioramas to think about a bible story or parable that were presented in previous sessions. Someone else might build the walls of the City of Jerusalem.

“There is a sort of atrium etiquette and the children really take pride in what they do,” Mum-of-four Camille said.

“We practise things like how to hold things carefully and carry something without rushing, how to speak quietly and how to ‘choose, use and leave’ things ready for the next person. All these things help to build an

atmosphere of quiet and prayer. It can take a while for the little ones to master these things, but it is very rewarding to see their self-confidence and independence build as they do.”

Giulia Jones has been sending her sons Felix, 6 and Leo, 4 for two years.

“I’ve seen a huge attitude change in the boys,” the Rivett Mum said. “It’s not too much for the children; they really love going.”

A religious education teacher since 1995, Camille heard about the program in 2005 when her twin girls were three and older daughter six.

“I had started to ask the question, my daughter can’t read or write yet, so how do I nourish her faith development in a personal and tangible way,” Camille explained.

“A friend in Melbourne was training in the program and showed me the small figures of the apostles she had made for children to use for a meditation on the Last Supper. As she explained the atrium and the

way of working with the children I could see how this gentle, hands-on approach appreciated the needs of the child and respected their natural openness to God.

“After my first training weekend I came to see how the program was so rich and thoughtfully planned out, and I began making and using the works with my children at home. For about a year and a half we had our lounge room converted into an atrium and things grew from there. It has enriched our family life so much. The training has helped my husband and I to understand not only the spiritual but also the emotional and physical development of the child.”

As well as weekly classes for three, four and five year olds, Camille runs sessions for the children at St John Vianney’s Primary School in Waramanga, where the atrium is set up. Older children from other primary schools have also enjoyed after-school retreats.

St John Vianney’s principal Vicky van der Sanden is a fan of the Atrium and said it had been wonderful to see the students engaging so meaningfully with the program.

Mum Leanne, whose Year 4 son and Year 3 daughter attended three Friday afternoon retreats about the Mass, was initially concerned that, being the end of the week, they might be tired or uninterested.

“But it turned out they couldn’t wait to return to learn and experience more,” Leanne said. “The Atrium gave them a chance to be quiet, to reflect and to learn a deeper

understanding of the Mass.”

•Enrolments are open for the 3-6yo Thursday morning group. There is a parent contribution per term. In Term 3 there will be a 10-week after-school series for the older children. Contact Camille at camille001@optusnet.com.au (National website www.cgsaust.org.au)

“THREE YEAR OLDS AT PRAYER” by Felicity de Fombelle

It’s funny because everyone thinks that if you have a large family (or are a single income family), you must be broke. That kind of depends on what you spend your money on. We:

• use modern cloth nappies not disposables (just as easy to change, throw in my “whites” wash and line dry). Green!

• bake treats instead of buying junk food (some of my slices are in demand from my children’s classes). Fills them up better and reduces salt! Healthy and green!

• shop fortnightly with a menu list (mostly) and try to make dinner with ingredients in the cupboard. This limits my impulse buying!

• buy on special (everything!) or second hand (furniture, cars and some electrical). We ask for a discount for anything major – it can’t hurt.

• watch DVDs or have family or friends over instead of going out (although we do try to support the local cinema to keep it in business!).

• are trying to be humble – we don’t need a flash car, just one which starts. Likewise, our furniture isn’t new and doesn’t match, but it works.

• support three or four charities which are close to our hearts and ignore the rest (except for local raffle tickets – I could win a trailer of wood!).

• only use our credit card within the bounds of what we have in the bank to repay fully each month. Of course, we don’t really need it at all. A Visa Debit would be just as useful but much less dangerous!

• direct debit major expenses in instalments eg. School fees (we try not to look at the bills!)

• live in the country. Many things are cheaper and there are less shops to waste money in (though I do try hard)!

If I ever worry about money, I like Luke 12 where Jesus reminds us that flowers and birds are beautifully dressed and well cared for by God so if we ask Him, He’s even more likely to look after us, who are much dearer to Him.

He also told a parable about the man who had too big a crop to fit in his barns. He pulled down the old ones, built new ones to hoard his grain, then died in the night without enjoying any of it. I want to have a balance between using our money wisely and being open to opportunities to use it.

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Published by the Catholic Archdiocese of Canberra-GoulburnProduced by CatholicLIFEPO Box 7174 Yarralumla ACT 2600 Tel: 02 6163 4300 Fax: 02 6163 4310 Email: info@catholiclife.org.auWebsite: www.catholiclife.org.au

“A BESTSELLER BOOK” by Shane Dwyer

“SINGLE INCOME FAMILY” ...continued from page 6

Why is the Bible still at the top of the international bestseller lists? It has held this position for so long that most lists no longer mention it – it is simply presumed. Why is it still popular?

To get an insight into this we have to think about where the Bible comes from. Understanding the Bible to be ‘the word of God’ brings with it a degree of complexity. First, we must acknowledge that very few people believe, even among sincere Catholics, that God sat down and wrote the books of the Bible. Neither did he dictate them word for word into the ear of willing authors. Instead, the Bible represents the spiritual experience and reflection of a people (both individuals and groups) in whose hearts and lives God was at work. Over the centuries those writings were put before other people of faith and their authenticity was prayed over, discussed and evaluated. Those writings that were believed to accurately represent the faith community’s experience of God (particularly as expressed by Jesus Christ) were accepted, whereas those that did not were put to one side. And so we have the Bible we see today.

Second, we have to understand that the Bible is not just a work of literature completed at a certain point in time. This may take some thinking about. God is a being who exists outside time. All that is past, all that is present, and all that is future is as ‘present’ to God. Also, God has the ability to be present to every human being who has ever, or will ever, exist. At one and the same time God can relate to us all collectively and yet engage with each individual as if that person is the only human being who has ever existed.

Keeping these two things in mind, we can conclude that when Paul sat down 2000 years ago to write his letters, or when the community founded by John the apostle brought to completion the gospel according to John (to give two examples), they weren’t thinking of you and me. Yet, because they were writing in response to the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, and because the Holy Spirit exists outside time and can relate to you as if you’re the only person who has ever existed, those writings are being written with you in mind. They are relevant to you because the Holy Spirit caused them to be written for you.

*Shane is Archdiocesan Coordinator, Faith Formation & Spirituality. This is his seventh column about Catholic faith.

Your Family, Your Faith is proudly supported by the Australian Catholic University

THE

OF FAITH