Frankie Faidley

Writing Unit

Standards/Goals:CCL: Craft: Language Use/Word Choice

Show through language instead of telling. Use a range of descriptive words that enhance the meaning. Select and write appropriate words to convey intended meaning.

Common core: Write narratives to develop real or imagined experiences or events using effective

technique, descriptive details, and clear event sequences. o d. Use concrete words and phrases and sensory details to convey experiences and

events precisely.

Day 1:Topic: Descriptive Writing: Word ChoiceResource/Materials: Personal Narrative Sample Paper: My First Talent Show. Taken from http://www.timeforkids.com/files/homework_helper/aplus_papers/PersonalNarrativeSampler.pdf

Teacher Action: After students complete a quick write (discussed in SA) I would tell them I am going to read an example of a personal narrative. I will read, My First Talent Show, “Standing backstage, I could feel my heart thumping in my chest. “Just relax,” my friend Jenny whispered…….” After reading the passage I will break down the passage and discuss the following: Details used to explain where the story took place at, details about what he or she heard, smelled, or felt. I will explain that descriptive writing is important in helping the readers visualize the story. I will ask my students what they think the main message is of the mentor text. After students discuss the writing they will do another quick write where they edit their first example and add more descriptive details after going over the mentor text.

Student Action: Pick 1 of the 4 options on the board and do a quick write. (Learning to ride a bike, learning to swim, learning to play a sport, learning to do something of your choice) Directions of quick write: Describe from memory how you learned how to do one of the following. Quick write 2. Editing their original writing to make it more descriptive.

Day 2:Topic: Show through language instead of telling: Descriptive writing cont. Resource/Materials:

Show-Me Sentences Handout taken from http://www.readwritethink.org/files/resources/lesson-docs/30780_sentences_1.pdf

Carson, B. & Murphey, C. (1990). Gifted Hands. Grand Rapids, Michigan: Review and Herald.

Rawls, W. (1961). Where The Red Fern Grows. New York, New York: Curtis Publishing Company.

Teacher Action: I will explain the difference between “telling me” and “showing me” writing. I will also address that Gifted Hands is an autobiography and the second mentor text is Fiction. I will read Gifted Hands p. 52-53. “In general I was a good kid. It usually took a lot make me mad. But once I reached the boiling point, I lost all rational control.” From this text I would point out the examples of “show me sentences” versus “tell me sentences”. Ex. “Boiling point” and “hurled it at his face.” I would then read, Where The Red Fern Grows p. 226, “Once, feeling the bite of the sharp blade, devil cat turned on me. His yellow slitted eyes burned with hate. …” I again would point out the examples of “show me sentences” versus “tell me sentences”. After that I would present the handout, “Show-Me Sentences Handout”. After working on the mentor texts as a class we would complete the second example on the Show-Me Sentence Handout for, “The boy pulled a large fish out of the river.” Students would then complete the handout.

Student Action: Fill out handout individual. Along with the individual sentences write the main idea for each. Exchange handout with at least two partners. Talk about examples that had great word choice. In small groups at student’s desk everyone quickly share the best example that they heard and why they thought it was the best.

Day 3:Topic: Using Voice in descriptive writing. Resource/Materials:

Carson, B. & Murphey, C. (1990). Gifted Hands. Grand Rapids, Michigan: Review and Herald.

Klein, G. W. (1957). All But My Life. New York: Hill and Wang.

Teacher Action: Explain that we will be looking at another passage from Gifted Hands and looking at new mentor text that is a memoir. Students will focus on both passages and how the descriptive words used help with establishing voice. I will first read Gifted Hands p. 28, “That’s enough!” the teacher said sharply, but it was too late. The girl’s harshness cut out my heart.” I would then read, All But My Life p. 45, “The May eighth I was sixteen. What a lovely sunny morning it was! The buttercups were out and there violets down in the moist part of the garden…..” After reading both texts as a class we would compare how the voice is different in the texts and why. I will discuss how both examples could have been considered dull or small events but the author embellished the text making it more descriptive.

Student Action:Taking a dull event or passage and rewriting it to make it descriptive and exciting. Use senses.

Day 4:Topic: Descriptive Writing: Personal Narrative Resource/Materials: My Writing Model

Teacher Action: Read my writing model, The Beach. Remind students as they write their memory or narrative to focus on voice, word choice (descriptive words) and main message.

Students have had experience with memoirs, autobiographies, and fiction texts at this point as their mentor texts. Check in with students as they work. Student Action: As a class describe how my writing helped them visualize what I wrote about. Students would then start writing a personal narrative/ memory.

Day 5:Topic: Descriptive Writing: Personal Narrative

Resource/Materials: All resources will be out and available for students to look that have been mentioned above.

Teacher Action: Check in with students as they write and answer questions. Student Action: Edit their personal narrative/memories with classmates.

Day 6:Topic: Presenting personal narrative/memory Resource/Materials: Student’s papers.

Teacher Action: Inform students that they will be presenting in groups. The class will be split in three groups. As you are listening to your classmates each person will be responsible for one of the following: Word choice: Descriptive Writing, Voice: Personal tone and Idea: Main message. When your classmate is done reading whoever had, “Word choice,” will share what they liked about the authors work and what could be done to enhance their writing. After “Word Choice” has finished the same procedures will follow for Voice and Idea. Student Action: Present their final papers in small groups. Providing constructive feedback to classmates.

Differentiation:Extend: For students who are further along in their writing process I would remind them to focus on the fluency and smoothness of the paper. I would also take more time to reinforce a strong ending and beginning. Also if there was a group of 3-4 students pulling them together as a small group to collectively write a flowing story. Reinforce skills as needed: For students who needed extra help I would condense the number of sentences that they had to write for the Show Me sentence handout. I would also not expect them to write as much for their final paper but remind them that I want to see them use descriptive words. If it was a small group of students I could also pull them together on day 2 or 3 to do more direct modeling. I would also look closely at their work to see what they need extra assistance with. If I had students that were really struggling instead of focusing on descriptive words, voice and message I would ask them to focus on descriptive words or voice and write a short sentence clarifying the main idea or message.

Assessment: My assessment would be over the final personal narrative that students write. I would have a simple rubric that I would use to help grade students work. Students will also earn a point for the Show-me handout if they completed it, bringing it to 10 points possible for the unit.

Student Name: Student Score:Word Choice: Descriptive Writing

Strong word choice. See image clearly in head. (>8)

Several descriptive words. Can see description in head. (4-7)

Few descriptive words found. Hard to visualize. (0-3)

Voice: Personal Tone Voice is strong. Voice is present. Voice is not found.Idea: Main Message Main idea is clearly

presented.Main idea is stated. Main idea is hard to

find.(9 points possible) (3) (2) (1)

My creating writing model:The Beach

The cool breeze wept across my freckled face. As I ran forward I could smell the slat in the air and feel the sand squish in between my toes. I could hear the crashing of the waves before I saw them. Finally there it was the Atlantic Ocean. The water was a dark blue almost black. The clouds reflected on the top of the water all glittery and shiny. White caps were present everywhere you looked. I flung my beach towel and beach bag on a clear spot on the beach and sprinted towards the water. The sand was piping hot and burned my feet. As I looked back I could see Christopher throwing his towel down next to mine. I then felt the icy water splash against my legs, instant relief from the hot sand. The water took my breath away and I dove headfirst into the next wave, letting the water completely submerge me. When I emerged from the water Christopher was next to me. Grinning hugely he nodded toward the beach before swimming out further to catch the next wave. Turning in the water I saw the rest of my family galloping down to the beach. My face split into a huge grin. This was it, the start of another great family vacation at Kure Beach.

Reflection over my writing:

When thinking of what to write about I wanted to write about a memory that stood out to me. I also wanted this memory to be something that I could make descriptive to help the students with their writing. I then instantly thought of the beach. I can vividly remember my first encounter with ocean and I wanted to write about another experience I had with it. I chose to write about my experience of going to the beach with my family on vacation. When writing I had to incorporate the details that stood out to me to help the students better visualize the memory such as the smell of the salt and how the sand felt. I also wanted to include the sounds of the ocean. Along with the physical setting I wanted to include my family and how everything tied in to represent the beginning of one of my favorite traditions, family vacations at Kure Beach, North Carolina. While writing I wanted to make sure I didn't repeat words or use generic words. I really tried to focus on descriptive words and overall the five sense and how they related to this memory.