workshop 1b: relationships do they change because of a stroke? peter saddington and alison towner
TRANSCRIPT
Workshop 1b:
Relationships do they change because of a stroke?
Peter Saddington
and Alison Towner
Relationships and Strokes
Peter SaddingtonAlison Towner
Sex and Relationship Therapists
A time of Change Transition Thinking about relationship Thinking about the family What next? How do we talk about this? What can we do?
Reactive DepressionYou are: Going Through major change like bereavement or redundancy In the morning you feel Overwhelmed by your circumstances sad or even tearful. You feel disbelief and
sometimes anger What you tell yourself I can’t believe this is happening: Why me? I’m falling apart. Everyone else
copes. I’ll never get another partner/job/home. I’ll never be well again. My life is over
Risk of full-blown depression It is perfectly normal to be upset by stressful, negative life events. Usually
these feelings will pass. If however you feel you’ve been down too long, it might be helpful to seek advice
What you need to do If feelings seem to be getting worse, you may need help to arrest the negative
mood Discuss what has happened with your GP who will offer you advice on medication and whether a talking therapy would help.
Psychological DepressionYou are Having health problems, Issues to do with health In the morning you feel Tired sometimes despite having slept. Overwhelmed weak, tearful and
frightened What you tell yourself What’s happening to me? I feel strange can’t cope: I feel ashamed: I’m weak
no one understands Risk of full-blown depression Health changes can lead to low mood but once you have established the
physical cause of your symptoms your mood should improve. The good news is that ageing is not a predictor of depression.
After 45 moods tends to improve. It is age plus ill health you have to watch for depression
What you need to do If you suspect problems with your health are causing you to feel low, see your
GP.
Roles in the relationship
Partner
Patient
The Relationship
Carer
I’m OK,you’re not OK
I’m not OK, you’re OK
I’m OK,you’re OK
Roles Patient – can often be bewildering can
also be angry Carer – can appear angry / frustrated
likely to be worried Partner – Can see past the changes but
might also be sad
The family
Individual
couple
family
What next?
Frequent concerns:
relationship roles
personality and moods
communication skills
How do we talk about this?
Communication is key to coping with change
BUT
About 1/3 of stroke survivors have difficulty speaking or understanding what others say
Strategies to help relationships
1. Think about everyone’s perspective
2. Consider different roles
Strategies to help relationships
3. Increase self-esteem
4. If present, treat depression
Think about your intimate relationship
Prepare to communicate:What to say
(“I” phrases):How do I feel?What do I want?
A good time
A relaxing place
Think about your intimate relationship
Find ways to hug, kiss and handhold
Plan for intimacy
Think about your intimate relationship
It may be difficult,but you can find new waysto be intimateemotionally and physically
Professional help Relationship counselling Sex Therapy Family counselling
Discussion groups
Refreshment, exhibition and room check in
What next?