8/6/2019 Why I HATE Verizon

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Me: So, want to know why I hate verison?Friend: sure...why the hate?Me: Well, my landlord asked me to come fixher computerMe: the computer itself is running slow, but so was her internetMe: She was getting 0.03Mbps down and 0.27Mbps upMe: a 28.8 modem would have been fasterMe: So I called the support number listed on their website

Friend: aaaand? =PFriend: terrible story teller =PMe: Turns out it wasn't support, it was some kind of customer service. The person who answered the phone needed my landlords name, adress, DLS phone number, account numbers off of invoices, billing amounts and method of payment before shewould speak to us.Friend: ouch...that's a lot of infoMe: Bah. Look at the bottom of your window VVV it tells you when I am typing :pMe: Yeah, it was insanely stupid. When we finallly passed her qualifications, Iexplained that the DLS modem was running aslow. She then said "Oh. You need tech support. Let me give you their number ...Me: So I called tech suppport. Now I have nothing against the people of india,

but like I said before, English skills and English comprehension skills are a mustMe: The guy I got. He wasn't that good at EnglishMe: He INSISTED that the phone line HAD to be unplugged from the modem, and thenthe wall in order to fix the problemFriend: wowMe: That was absurd and I could already smell the BS, but I complied ... or tried toMe: The modem was fine, but the wall jack was behind a sectional desk that I could not accressMe: I tried to explain this to him, but he just kept telling me to take my timeand do itFriend: lie

Friend: that's what i would have done =PMe: I told him it was impossible and I could not do itMe: I asked him to skip this step, he refused. So we hung up.Me: I should haveFriend: i would have lied like a champ =PMe: So after looking around, I found a large cabinet FULL of office supplies that I could crawl into after emptying it out.Me: So I did, found the line, found the filter. it was plugged into a splitterfor no reason, so I unplugged thatMe: removed ratherMe: So her office is trashed, I'm exausted and wheezing with asthma, but I had both ends exposed. So I call back ...

Me: This technicion said NOTHING about unplugging the phone line from the modem.NOT A WORDMe: He "ran some tests" and determinded that I needed to talk to "expert support". Great! Forward me.Me: I got to expert support and tried to explain the situation to the guy who answered (and spoke plain English, I was overjoyed)Me: He interupted me and told me I had a virusFriend: *roflroflrofl*Me: (I had spent the first part of the day removing a bad install of Mcafee, installed MSE, ran a FULL virus scan and got 0 viruses. You know I used to work intech, I know what I am doing.)Friend: that's what i figured =PMe: I told him that was not the case, then he astarted talking over me. wouldn'

t let me speakFriend: hence the rofls =PMe: so I started yelling into the phone LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR SUPERVISOR

8/6/2019 Why I HATE Verizon

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Me: "why?"Me: You're being extremely rude and won't let me speak!Friend: hopefully you got names of these peopleMe: Let me put you on hold and adjust my phone so I can hear you betterFriend: so when they call for the inevitable survey..you can complainMe: No, I didn't. I was a dumbass. I should have.Me: Oh, there will be complaining.

Me: anyway, the guy came back and claimed he couldn't hear me well, and that's why he was talking over me\Me: (then how did he know I had some mysterious virus?)Me: Oh! In the beginning he asked if I was told that "expert support" had a feeMe: ...Me: ...Friend: the fuck?Friend: just to get a working internet connection?Me: I told him that I worked for the state, I am a computer technician, and explained everything I had done. I then went on to tell him in addition I brought my laptop with me that is clean, and got identical results on the speed testsMe: He said that he would transfer me to the division that handled sending a tec

h out to test the linesMe: great. So I was forwardedMe: I got another automated, push this, enter that" computer system that I had gotten at the beginning of EACH CALL.Me: (on hold time too, ugh)Me: But the automated system said "Pl.... ent... number ..... ph....a..l"Me: "plea...nami ... it .... "Me: "I'M SORRY PLEASE TRY YOU CALL AT ANOTHER TIME!" *click*Me: fuckFriend: wowFriend: that's pretty shtity csMe: Call #3 starts. I go through the automated prompts again and wait through 20 minutes of hold time.

Me: After the guy answered I immediatly asked for a supervisor.Me: He wanted to know why "So he could properly introduce us". So I explain itto him.Me: He put he on hold for a supervisor for 10 minutes then came back and told meno supervisor was available.Me: So I try to get him to help me, but then their voip started getting badMe: then really badMe: then I coulsn't understand him at all. I stood there saying "Hello?" into the phone for 10 minutes before giving up and hanging up on him.Me: Call number 4Me: I go though the automated prompts AGAIN and had 15 minutes of hold time.Me: (by the way, I took notes of all this(except for names, damnit)Me: So after 15 minutes, an agent answers. I demand to speak to a supervisor.He insists he needs to know what is wrong first. So I again explain the issueswith the slow modem.Friend: always get names =PMe: they had fake namesMe: "Mike" "ben" "joe"Friend: ask for first and last =PMe: but anyway, he says he will get me a supervisor, and puts me on hold again.Me: I'm on hold for 15 minutes and the music just stopsMe: I say Hello? and hear my own voice echo back to me as if it were on a delayMe: fuck. hungupFriend: damnMe: Call number 5!

Me: go through the automated prompts, hold time, etcMe: This time I get a female agent. I demand to speak to a supervisor and she tells me that I am at the highest level of support already

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Me: She wanted to know why I wanted to speak to an supervisor, so I read her theentire sheet of the BS I had been put through.Me: She's astounded, or at least pretended to be. She claimed she could only see proof of 3 calls.Friend: stilll 3 calls isn't bad enough?Me: She did patiently listen and then put me on hold after I was doneFriend: omg...you prolly want to destroy all hld buttons =P

Me: After a few minutes she comes back and says that the modem my landllord wasusing was outdatred (and it iwas. very much so)Me: My landlord bought the modem. it wasn't a leaseMe: However, she said Verizon would be shipping her a new one, free of charge via 2-day business mail, and a supervisor would follow up with us in a couple days.Me: Finally doneFriend: niceFriend: nice result....terrible process =PMe: That took from about 4pm when I started callling them until 10:45pm at nightMe: whatMe: the

Me: fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuckMe: I initially ran malwarebytes around 1:30pm, removed the bad install of McAfee (had to research that one) and tested that the computer was clean, etc etcMe: Let this be a lesson. Outside of work, you know NOTHING about computers. They are magical boxes with buttons and light and fans that make the Internet go,and no one will bug you to fix their computer