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Positive Coaching

Michael Hay – August 2001 of 21

Version 1.1

Positive Coaching

CONTENTS

Introduction

What is a coach?

Analysing- Back to Basics- Listening- Body Language

Coaching- The Subconscious - Positive Input- Focusing - Positive Imagery- Empowerment- Mantras

Coaching Situations- Coaching Yourself- Inside Line Coach- Phone Coach- Primary Coach

Conclusion

Acknowledgements / Reading List

The List of Lists


Positive Coaching

INTRODUCTION

This is a personal introduction to explain how useful I found the subjects contained in this handout to my own recovery. I am writing this handout to accompany a split session I was doing on Positive Coaching.

I felt I had started to reach a plateau in my recovery. I understood all the areas of the technique, I had passed the coaching exam, and my speech was pretty strong in McGuire situations. I still, however, was having problems in the more stressful non-McGuire situations such as at work or even when just relaxing with friends. Whenever I was not fully focussed on my speech I started to get sloppy. When I pulled myself together and concentrated I could always get back in ‘the zone’. The problem was that it was not happening automatically yet. It wasn’t just that the fear kicked back in, because my fear was gone in a lot of situations but it was more just that old habits die hard and I couldn’t make this technique into a new, automatic habit.

Even with tremendous willpower and patience it can be hard to make this a new habit and I was having trouble making it become more automatic. Once I started reading a lot of books on the subjects of positive thinking and the subconscious etc I found that it really helped me to reach a new level in my speech recovery. Not only has it helped me to coach myself, but I feel it has really helped me in my role as a coach to others.

There are no rights or wrongs in this handout. Just suggestions about how to do things in different situations. How to approach the same problem with different solutions, particularly in the area of coaching. Whether you are just coaching yourself, are coaching from the inside line or if you’re a Primary Coach. A lot of the material in the handout is from many of the more experienced graduates in the North UK. Thanks very much guys. And also there is a lot of material taken from the many books that can be found in the reading list at the back of the book. The rest is my own experiences and thoughts.

The handout is just meant to be a taster into the areas of positive thinking and the subconscious in the specific terms of coaching. If you are interested in these areas then please read some of the books for a more in depth report.

BUT this stuff is not meant to be a substitute for just going ahead and facing your fears head on. Some people who keep avoiding things try to look for other things to make it easer. They intellectualise too much and waste time making excuses for why they find it hard. The things in this handout are not meant as an alternative to facing your fears. They are supposed to be used as tools to make it easier to face your fears. Nothing else. They can help you to do it.

I certainly found all this stuff useful.

I hope you do too.


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WHAT IS A COACH?

From “Awaken the Giant Within” by Tony Robbins

“For years, people asked me what I did exactly. At various times I tried different metaphors – ‘I’m a teacher,’ ‘I’m a student,’ ‘I’m a hunter of human excellence,’ ‘I’m a peak performance consultant,’ ‘I’m a therapist,’ ‘I’m a counsellor’ – but none of them conveyed the right feeling. People gave me plenty of metaphors. I was known by many in the media as ‘a guru’. This is a metaphor I avoided because that the presupposition that went with it was that people were dependent upon me to create their change – which would never empower them. Since I believe we must all be responsible for our own change, I avoided this metaphor.

One day, though, I finally got it. ‘I’m a coach,’ I thought. What is a coach? To me, a coach is a person who is your friend, someone who really cares about you. A coach is committed to helping you be the best that you can be. A coach will challenge you, not let you off the hook. Coaches have knowledge and experience because they have been there before. They aren’t any better than the people they are coaching (this took away the need to have to be perfect for the people I was ‘teaching’). In fact, the people they coach may have natural abilities superior to their own. But because coaches have concentrated their power in a particular area for years, they can teach you one or two distinctions that can immediately transform your performance in a matter of moments.

Sometimes coaches can teach you information, new strategies and skills; they show you how to get measurable results. Sometimes a coach doesn’t even teach you anything new, but they remind you of what you need to do at just the right moment, and they push you to do it. I thought, ‘What I truly am is a success coach. I help to coach people on how to achieve what they really want more quickly and more easily.’ And everyone needs a coach, whether it’s a top-level executive, a graduate student, a homemaker, a homeless person, or the President of the United States! As soon as I started using this metaphor, it immediately changed the way I felt about myself. I felt less stressed, more relaxed; I felt closer to people. I didn’t have to be ‘perfect’ or ‘better’. I began to have more fun, and my impact on people multiplied manifold. “


Positive Coaching

ANALYSING

BACK TO BASICS

Before you can start analysing someone else, you must make sure that you are a good exponent of the technique yourself.

When teaching anything to someone, you must ensure that you know the basics well yourself. If you were to re-sit your driving test after x number of years there is a good chance you might fail simply because you have picked up many bad habits along the way which would get marks deducted in the test. If you were then asked to become a driving instructor you would have to go back and learn all the basics again. If we are coaching new students we must be sure that we have not picked up any bad habits along the way and that we are using good full technique at all times.

By practicing what you preach the student will believe what you are saying more readily. This congruence is often the key to getting any message across. There is also the fact that if you exaggerate parts of the technique well, they can pick this up sub-consciously. More of this later.

This is also a great opportunity to reinforce the basics with yourself. I have seen on many occasions that the most disciplined inside line coaches are the ones who are the most experienced and the most fluent. One of the main reasons they are so fluent is that they appreciate the importance of going back to basics at any opportunity to steel the technique into their sub-conscious

You are also showing great honesty that you are still a recovering stammerer.


Positive Coaching

LISTENING

Listening is one of the most important areas, if not the most important area in terms of coaching. It is very important not to just dive straight in with what you think is the solution.

Being a good listener is one of the most difficult but also one of the most useful skills to have.

Only if you truly pay attention to what and how the other person is saying can you hope to fully analyse where their problem lies.

Be respectful to the speaker by giving them your full attention and not glancing away, looking at your watch, yawning etc. If someone walks behind the speaker don’t look to see who it is out of curiosity. This will distract their train of thought and is also disrespectful.

Don’t jump in at the first pause with a solution. They probably haven’t finished and are in fact formulating what they want to say next.

This can be a form of self-therapy. If you allow them to speak without interruption then they can sometimes solve the problem themselves. This form of solution is 10 times more powerful than them just hearing the solution from you. It has come from within them.

Instead, make a list of all the points you want to say and then say them when you know they have definitely finished, or have asked you a question.

Avoid ineffective interruptions such as, “You’ll be alright” or “ I know what you mean”. This can be distracting again, and can demean the value of their content. Instead wait and say some constructive comments about their content once they have finished.

Try and read between the lines if they are skirting round subjects or not answering questions

After they finish speaking it can be useful to repeat back by paraphrasing what they have just said in a non judgemental manner. This validates the thoughts they have just expressed and the fact that they have not met with any negativity is potentially very empowering. It also shows that you have been paying attention.


Positive Coaching

The student is also then able to hear their own interpretation coming from someone else and can therefore exercise a degree of objectivity about it. The coach becomes a sounding board.

To further this process, ask questions of the student rather than give a straight answer yourself. This will make them think about the problem and possibly work out a solution themselves.

Remember your job as a coach is not just to give the student an answer when they ask a question.

It is to empower them by making them recognise problems for what they are

and help them in finding a solution.

"The uncreative mind can spot wrong answers,but it takes a creative mind to spot wrong questions."

—A. Jay

BODY LANGUAGE

Following on from the Listening skills, Body Language is extremely important in showing respect to your student and your own honesty about what you are saying.

Obviously if you slouch whilst speaking or whilst listening you are giving off vibes of not really being interested in the subject matter either way.

Avoid touching your face, crossing your arms, fidgeting with your watch etc. If you have an itch, try not to scratch it just when your student is explaining their innermost feelings of insecurity. It may look like you feel uneasy and nervous and this will have a negative affect on them.

You may find that mirroring a person’s body language in a subtle way will make them more at ease in your company.

If someone has particularly bad posture. You can try subtly mirroring their posture and mannerisms but then start taking the lead and bring yourself up to a more positive posture and you may well find that they subconsciously follow your lead and copy you.

This non-verbal rapport can be extremely powerful when dealing with people with whom you are finding it hard to get the message across to by explanations

Be positive with your own posture. Its hard to feel depressed when you’re standing tall. You’ve got to be slouched to feel depressed!


Positive Coaching

COACHING

One of the main mistakes seen from grads, particularly refreshers in the inside line, is that they are too eager to rattle off a list of all the areas where a new student is having problems and then rattling off a list of what to do about it. They feel obliged or even under pressure to show that they know their stuff. In actual fact in some cases this can be the worst thing to do.

“The more you know the less you need to show”- Anonymous

As discussed above, being a good listener can often be the most important factor in dealing with a new student. If you jump in you can often interrupt their train of thought (therefore not getting all the full facts to analyse the whole problem) or even confuse them.

Once you have collated all the information and decided what the answer to the problem is you now come to the hard part- Getting the message across

This can be completely different for every individual. Be aware that people are split into 3 categories. Visual learners, Auditory learners and Kinesthetic learners. We are all a mixture of all 3 but we all have a preferred style of learning – Words, Pictures or Doing.When you combine this with things like learning difficulties, time of day, and how hungry the student is then it can be very hard to judge the best way to get the message across.

There is no right or wrong way but here are the four main ways to get your message across to a new student:-


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1) Point out all the points that they are not doing well and tell them how to rectify them (this can be done in the commend/recommend/commend procedure)

I have found that this approach can be too negative. It can be daunting for new students to get so much information at once and also so much criticism. Especially students with learning difficulties who cannot handle a whole list of points to think about at once. It can be okay for a strong grad who is only having a few specific problems and who isn’t too sensitive.

2) Focus on one negative point and get them to concentrate on fixing that

This focus can often make everything else fall into place. I have found this technique very useful on courses. If someone is having trouble grasping all the checklist at once, just get them to focus on one aspect (maybe the breathing, or fast rib, or perfect timing) and quite often the rest will fall into place. It helps if the basics have been taught well separately though.

3) Focus on one positive point that they are doing well and encourage and commend that

Once again this focus can often make everything else fall into place. Because you are not concentrating on any negativity they are only thinking about success and sometimes this can help make the technique flow without them thinking about holding back at all.

4) Do not criticize at all. Merely exaggerate yourself the point(s) they are lacking

I find this one very interesting. It might be possible to not criticize a new student at all, particularly one who is very negative about themselves. This subconscious negativity may be a root cause of their stutter. Instead just be completely positive thus giving them a whole new positive outlook on their speech. Merely exaggerate the technique yourself. They may pick up the points sub-consciously just by watching you.

These are just four methods and can be used in various combinations as well as with different styles (music in voice, hand gestures, diagrams, analogies, roleplay etc) so as to suit the learning style of the student.

There is no right or wrong method but some are more appropriate for certain situations.


Positive Coaching

THE SUBCONSCIOUS

“If one really wants to be master of an art, technical knowledge of it is not enough. One has to transcend technique so that the art becomes

an ‘artless art’ growing out of the Unconscious”- “Zen and the Art of Archery”

The key behind mastering this whole technique in every situtation, in my opinion is the subconscious. It is stopping us from making the technique a new habit. It is stopping us from being relaxed in every situation. We are stopping it from helping us.

If we can tap into our sub-conscious and send it all the positive thoughts and experiences that it needs then it will help us realise our goals.

As John Harrison says:-“Focusing on your speech is essential in mastering a new technique. But at some point you have to develop a sense of how it feels when it all comes together. Then you need to learn how to reproduce that feeling. It is at this point that positive imagery has its most powerful effect.”

To be able to harness the power of our subconscious mind we have to understand how it works.

John Harrsion continues:-“Our subconscious is an impersonal problem-solving computer. It solves ‘dumb’ problems with the same energy and thoroughness it solves ‘intelligent’ problems. It will solve whatever we visualize”

“Whether you think you can or you can’t, you’re right”- Henry Ford

The subconscious does not rationally mull over any problem we are thinking about. It just gets the data we send it and files it in the appropriate slot in our brain. It doesn’t just use data from experience or data from ‘intelligent’ problems or solutions. Anything we say to ourselves can be affecting our subconscious. If we keep being pessimistic about ourselves and saying, ‘ Aw no, I’m gonna lose’ and we repeat this every minute of our lives, then even if we consciously really want to win our subconscious has so much ‘Lose’ data that it will do everything it can to make us lose.

The subconscious works on images, and these images can be either positive or negative. So every thought we think of can be distilled down to an image which has either positive or negative associations. These positives and negatives then build up and come to the fore when our conscious mind thinks about these things. Eg. If we say ‘I do not want to stutter’ the subconscious doesn’t understand words like ‘not’, it just takes the words ‘I’ and ‘stutter’ and sees a picture of you stuttering. This is obviously a negative image.


Positive Coaching

So if we say, ‘I’m not going to stutter today’, although this may seem a very positive statement the subconscious mind doesn’t understand words like not or won’t. It is just getting a picture of you stuttering and this is a very negative image. This will therefore subconsciously help to make you stutter.

If, however, you were to say, ‘I’m going to speak eloquently today’ this is a positive image of yourself and is therefore a positive subconscious thought.

“If you think you are beaten, you are,If you think you dare not, you don’t

If you like to win, but you think you can’t,It is almost certain you won’t.

If you think you’ll lose, you’re lostFor out of the world we find,

Success begins with a fellow’s will –It’s all in the state of mind.

If you think you are outclassed, you are,You’ve got to think high to rise,

You’ve got to be sure of yourself beforeYou can ever win a prize.

Life’s battles don’t always go.To the stronger or faster man,

But sooner or later the man who wins,Is the man WHO THINKS HE CAN!”

- “Think and Grow Rich”

POSITIVE INPUT

It is incredibly important what we put into our subconscious minds as this is what will manifest itself in our actions.

Be careful how you phrase things. Avoid negative images and negative words.

Avoid phrases like ‘Don’t be silly’ etc

When someone asks you how you are say, ‘Good’ rather than ‘Not bad’

Use positive words with new students more than negative ones to redress the balance of positivity towards their speech


Positive Coaching

If you say ‘Well done for not blocking on that D sound there’ then that will make them think about blocking on D sounds. Better to say ‘Well done. You said Durham really well there.’ They now have a positive association rather than a negative one. Play to win rather than playing not to lose.

Always be sure to end on a positive note

FOCUSING

If you were to get into a taxi and give the driver 6 different directions at once he would start to get confused, angry and then probably just refuse to take you anywhere. But if you were to focus on exactly where it was you wanted to go and told the driver he would say ‘No problem, mate’ and take you straight there.

We have to know within ourselves that we are focused on what we want. If our conscious and subconscious minds are getting mixed messages then we are not going to get the desired results. We must be congruent if we want the subconscious to work for us.

We should also focus on the positive thing rather than the negative thing. The desire rather than the fear.

“The number one fundamental thing they teach in driving is : Focus on where you want to go, not on what you fear. If you start to skid out of control, the tendency, of course, is to look at the wall. But if you keep focusing on it, that’s exactly where you’ll end up. Drivers know you go where you look. You travel in the direction of your focus. If you resist the fear, have faith, and focus on where you want to go, your actions will take you in that direction, and if its possible to turn out of it, you will – but you stand no chance if you focus on what you fear.” - “Awaken the Giant Within”

The other form of focusing is that of concentration. When we focus on a single point quite often the rest of the picture becomes clearer. We can see the picture more clearly than when we randomly dart about from point to point.

As we start to focus on one point. We move through the areas of Awareness – Attention – Concentration – Single Point Concentrationand we start to be able to get a better view of everything around that point. Everything else starts falling into place. When you’re in the center point of focus you get a better view of everything else.


.AwarenessAttention Concentration

Single Point Concentration

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You can ask your student to focus on one point. Chances are some of the other problems will start to disappear. They have been getting confused by having too many things to think about at once.

My strongest ever speech (up until that point) was when I did a one to one session with a new student in Manchester 2001. That half hour my speech was really strong just because I was focusing so much on the technique because I had to set a good example. I was focusing particularly on the points we were practicing and the rest just fell into place.

Matthew Richardson once told me that when he instructs courses he feels like the guy from the Ready Brek advert with the orange glow all round him. He feels invincible because he is concentrating so much on instructing the technique that his own technique just falls into place.

POSITIVE IMAGERY

Positive Imagery is an incredibly powerful tool in terms of utilizing the subconscious brain and preparing us for certain situations.

ExerciseTurn your head as far round to the left as you can. Hold it and make a note of the furthest point you could see and then bring your head back to the front. Now close your eyes and imagine yourself moving your head round again but this time going past your first point and seeing a further point and bringing your head back. Now open your eyes and turn your head again. You should find that you are able to see further than you did the first time.

You are giving your subconscious mind a form of experience in that situation. It now thinks that you can move your head round further. This is exactly the same as having actual experience of a situation except not quite as strong. It is still very useful indeed when thinking about an upcoming situation where you want to imagine your self speaking well.

Another form of positive imagery or positive belief is the Placebo effect. Two people are given different pills and are told that they feel better after taking the pill. One is given a proper pill and one is given a sweet. They both feel better. The person given the sweet had the positive belief that he would get better and so he did.

“Drugs are not always necessary. Belief in recovery is.”If any doubt creeps in then your conscious and subconscious minds start to disagree and become incongruent.


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When Roger Bannister ran the first sub 4 minute mile everyone was amazed. No-one had thought it was possible. One year later over 30 people had broken the 4 minute barrier. After 2 years that number was up to 300.

“They can because they think they can.”- Virgil

Know that you can speak eloquently and picture yourself doing so. When you are speaking eloquently take a snapshot of that moment and remember that feeling whenever you want it again. Once you have this positive imagery and belief then you can start to ‘let go’ and let the technique start working more automatically for you because you know it can.

“One day, K’ung Fu-tse was standing at a distance from the pool’s edge, when he saw an old man being tossed about in the turbulent water. He called to his disciples, and together they ran to rescue the victim. But by the time they reached the water, the old man had climbed out onto the bank and was walking along, singing to himself.

K’unf Fu-tse hurried up to him. ‘You would have to be a ghost to survive that;’ he said, ‘you seem to be a man instead. What secret power do you have?’

‘Nothing special,’ the old man replied. ‘I began to learn while very young, and grew up practicing it. Now I am certain of success. I go down with the water and come up with the water. I follow it and forget myself. I survive because I don’t struggle against the water’s superior power. That’s all.’

- “The Tao of Pooh”

EMPOWERMENT

In general as a coach I feel it is better to ask your students questions about what they think the solution is rather than just preaching yourself, as this makes the call to action come from within themselves. They will more readily do something they have reasoned themselves or picked up subconsciously rather than just do something someone tells them to do.

Asking them questions really empowers them to find out the solution themselves and gives them the ownership of the discovery of the solution.

If you can get the message to them in an indirect way, either by getting them to focus on one point or by just letting them watch you then they will pick it up more subconsciously and it will be more ingrained in their psyche.


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MANTRAS

I used to think that Mantras were wishy-washy nonsense for people who were weak and spoke to themselves falsely in a vein attempt to build up a bit of self-confidence. I now know otherwise. I understand now that mantras can be very powerful indeed.

For years we’ve been telling ourselves that we’re worthless or that we can’t speak or that we’re nothing. This has had a major negative affect on our subconscious so if we repeat a positive affirmation on a regular basis, as a part of our morning breathing exercise then we can start to redress this balance. It is all about reprogramming our subconscious.


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COACHING SITUATIONS

COACHING YOURSELF

All this material can be used to help your own recovery. Even If you have no aspirations to even be in the inside line then you can be your own coach.

The most important factor when coaching yourself is to be honest with your own mistakes. You and you alone know when you are avoiding things. You and you alone can make the effort and put in the work.

Use positive imagery to give yourself ‘experience’ in your feared situations

Make your regular vocabulary more positive

INSIDE LINE COACH

In my opinion the inside line is the most important part of a course. The success of a course lies more with them than with the Instructor or Organisers. New students need one on one coaching and if the quality of the inside line is low then the course suffers.

I can still remember my first course when a couple of the people on the inside line weren’t really trying , couldn’t remember parts of the checklist or were easily distracted. It actually made me uncomfortable because I didn’t know what to do. I just followed their lead and collapsed my posture as well and stopped doing the breathing.

On the other extreme I can remember a guy who from the moment he sat down in front of you he was holding eye contact and using kinesthetics. If a bomb had gone off I think he would have still kept discipline. He wasn’t staring. Staring isn’t good. But he was very disciplined and it made me feel as if I knew what to do and my speech was stronger because I using better technique. Even when he lowered his arm for his drink of water he kept eye contact on me and when he was sipping the water he kept eye contact on me.

I have tried this on the inside line myself and its incredible how it works. If you hold somebody’s eye contact as you reach for your water then you will hold them. If, however, you glance away, even just for a split second – you’ve lost them. They’re away looking at the door or adjusting their belt. Try it for yourself!

Listen

Keep listening – they’ve probably not finished


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Get a physical rapport going with them

Try various methods to get the message across and see which one works best

Are they particularly negative and slouched? Use encouragement and positive body language

Are they spontaneous, getting cocky and not using full technique? Point out where they are making mistakes and ask them to cancel.

PHONE COACH

Coaching over the phone can often be very difficult. It might be harder to tell if they are using full technique or using tricks etc.

Ask them a lot of questions to get them talking as much as possible

Exaggerate the technique a lot yourself to get the subconscious copying working

Listen (remember they could be exaggerating the pause - only interrupt when they finish with a ‘Yep’ or ‘Mm’ signifying they’ve finished their sentence)

PRIMARY COACH

A primary coach has to utilize all of the above methods to get the best results from their student. You can judge over a period of time what the best way of motivating your student is. It may be that they need encouragement and confidence building for a while or it may be that you want to push them a bit as they have the fluency but they don’t have the motivation to keep it up.

You can find out what their ideal learning style is and tailor your coaching around their needs.

You can also find out what their most feared situations are and help them deal with them.

Normal Fear and Abnormal FearMan is born only with two fears, the fear of falling and the fear of noise. These are a sort of alarm system given to you by nature as a means of self preservation. Normal fear is good. You can hear an automobile coming down the road, and you step aside to survive.


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The momentary fear of being run over is overcome by your action. All other fears were given to you by parents, relatives, teachers and all those who influenced your early years.

‘It’s not getting you anywhere, you know’, said Pooh.‘What do you mean?’ said Piglet‘I mean that attitude won’t do you any good. If you keep repeating that sort of thought, you’ll convince yourself that you’re powerless. Isn’t that why you feel so afraid?’‘Well’ said Piglet, ‘When you’re only a Very Small Animal….’‘If I might make a suggestion…..’‘Yes’‘First of all, the fears that push you about are not legitimate, appropriate responses to What Is, such as warnings of danger ahead. Instead they’re constructing fantasies of What If: ‘What If I should meet a Heffalump, or fall on my face, or make an utter fool of myself’ Isn’t that true?’‘Yes ……I suppose so.’‘I would suggest that the next time a What If starts badgering you, look it straight in the eyes and ask it. ‘All right, what’s the very worst that could happen?’ and when it answers, ask yourself, ’What could I do about it?’. You’ll find there always will be something. Then you’ll see you can have power in any situation. And when you realise that the fears will go away.’‘Oh’, said Piglet

- ‘The Te of Piglet’

“If you fail to communicate with someone, it’s tempting to assume that he is a hopeless fool who refuses to listen to reason. But that virtually guarantees that you’ll never get through. It’s better to change your words and behaviours until they match his model of the world.” – Tony Robbins

"Try not. Do, or do not. There is no try" – Yoda

Use all these techniques to motivate and coach your student so that they can push their own boundaries and take action themselves to recover from their stammer.

“Action is Eloquence” – William Shakespeare


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ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS / READING LIST

Thanks to

Dave McGuire

Heather Lucey

Dr Jim Stewart

‘Freedom’s Road’ by Dave McGuire

‘How to Conquer Your Fears of Speaking Before People’ by John C Harrison

‘The Inner Game of Tennis’ by Timothy Gallway

'Unlimited Power' and 'Awaken the Giant Within' by Anthony Robbins, ‘The Elephant and the Twig’ by Geoff Thompson

'Think and Grow Rich' by Napoleon Hill 'The Magic of Thinking Big' by David J Schwartz 'The Power of Your Subsconcious Mind' by Dr Joseph Murphy 'MindStore' by Jack Black 'Use Your Head' by Tony Buzan

'Zen in the Art of Archery' by Eugen Herrigel

'Jonathan Livingston Seagull' by Richard Bach 'The Tao of Pooh' and 'The Te of Piglet' by Benjamin Hoff


Things you would first listen for when coaching a student - Mini-checklist PauseBreath with costal diaphragmSpeak powerfully through chestRelease residual air

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Checklist - 17PAUSEResist Time PressurePush out Residual AirCentre and ClarifyFormulationEstablish Eye Contact

EXPAND RIBS AND INHALEFast Rib ExpansionFull Rib ExpansionKeep Inhalation Noise in Chest

EXHALEPerfect TimingAssertive First SoundDeep and Breathy ToneKeep Moving ForwardArticulate and EnunciateRelease Residual Air

Rules of the McGP Do your bestWork hard, persevereFollow Directions

Objectives of the McGP – 4 and one sublist of 6Physically – speak powerfully form the thorax by retraining your costal diaphragmMentally – to understand the dynamics of stammering

- to counteract the tendency to “hold back” and use avoidance mechanisms

- to deal with the fear through concentration and non-avoidance techniques

- to accept yourself as a recovering stammerer until you have proven yourself “a fluent speaker with occasional reminders of your past affliction”

- to develop an assertive attitude to attack your remaining feared situations

- to understand the process of relapse and how to counteract it

Emotionally – once you’ve dealt with the fear, let go and have funSpritually – self-actualisation. Are you the person u want to b?

Directions of the McGP - 5Costal Breath all day longSpeak with (at least basic) method every timeCancel poor techniqueOverkill all words and situations to the boring stagePush out your comfort zones

The Laws – 81. Do Not Use Tricks2. Do Not avoid words or sounds3. Do Not avoid situations4. Immediately cancel violations of the above laws

Locations of Blocking DiaphragmVocal CordsArticulators

Levels of overkill - 5BoringFunExciting FearBarely Manageable FearPanic

Techniques to overkill a feared word - 7Exaggerated deep toneBlock releaseBlock release with deeper tone on second tryHit and holdHit and hold with block releaseVoluntary stammer on words surrounding the feared wordProlong past the block

The Fears - 4The old fear of stammeringFear of losing fluencyFear f bng perceived as liar or foolishFear of a repeat of relapse

Relapse Traps - 121. Failure to follow directions2. Failure to self-diagnose3. Experimenting with control4. Maintaining a high-risk lifestyle5. Stress6. Complacency7. Medical problems during recovery8. Psychiatric illness9. Complications10. Switching to other drugs11. Relapse by intent12. Family feud

5. Put in whatever effort is necessary6.Respond immediately to turbulence7.Respond intensely to turbulence8. Your response to turbulence must be long enough

Auxiliary Checklist - 20Block and ReleaseSliding and Bouncing (Voluntary Stammering)Hit andHoldCancellationOverkillKinestheticsMantrasWarm UpTesting / Practice / ContactsTape RecordersMirrorsDiaphragm ImagingExpand your comfort zonePhone ListRefresher CoursesSupport GroupsSelf ActualisationPositive Thinking / BeingAssertivenessHexagon

Reason(s) why we say long mantra in one breath - 5Good lung/diaphragm control exerciseGood diaphragm imaging exerciseConcentration exerciseGood for being positiveEnables us to practice all points on checklist

Points on the checklist to do with holding back - 8Push out residual airEye contactFast rib expansionFull rib expansionPerfect TimingAssertive first soundKeep moving forwardRelease residual air

Points on the hexagon in order - 6IntentionsBehaviourEmotionsPhysical StatePerceptionsBeliefs

Technical guidelines for VS - 6-Full diaphragmatic speaking (inc eye contact)--Sliding on first sound only. Done smoothly and continuously.-Speaking process remains in thorax. Tension in mouth means its become a trick.-Done on non-feared words-On a feared word you must slide past the block. Be careful it does not become a trick.-Done with the attitude “I am a stammerer. I am telling the truth about myself. I am dignified. I have consideration for my listener.”

Cautions for (dangers of VS) - 3VS can become a trick if used only to get out feared words

If you stay too long in the VS stage you will become stale and stop progression. Go for fear when the fear is reduced to a manageable level.

VS can become proper stammer unless we go deeper through the slide

Stages of progress towards ‘stairway to eloquence’ - 8Swamp – tricks and avoidanceFoundationMechanical FluencySloppy spontaneousDisciplined SpontaneousRoad towards Self-ActualisationEloquence

The traits of losing - 4Seldom or never takes responsibility for own failuresSeldom or never keeps a promise to themselves or othersSeldom or never finishes anything they startSeldom or never associates with winners

Personality Traits we call Relapse Mechanisms - 5IntellectualisationDenialExternalisationArroganceComplacency

Assertive Rights - 101. You have the right to be the judge of your own behaviour2. You have the right to offer no reasons or excuses for your behaviour3. You have the right to judge whether you are responsible for finding other peoples solutions4. You have the right to change your mind5. You have the right to make mistakes – and be responsible for them6. You have the right to say “I don’t know”7. You have the right to be independent of the goodwill of others before coping with them8. You have the right to be illogical in making decisions9. You have the right to say “I don’t understand”10. You have the right to say “I don’t care”

about introducing yourself to someone else - 5Eye contactPut out hand and firmly take handPause and Resist time pressureBreatheSay name with full techniqueRepeat their name

Reason(s) why we learn assertiveness in general - 6

Becoming more assertive will help you from becoming confused when you run up against a manipulator (confusion + fear = panic)

Knowing how to be assertive will help you to stop your manipulating of others…and will keep you out of the “desire to be seen as honourable, fear of being seen as dishonourable” approach-avoidance conflict

Stop manipulating ourselves

To protect your emotions point on hexagon

Be assertive about your own recovery

Reason(s) why we use assertive rights - 1Draw/set boundaries so people know where your space is

Reason(s) why we learn assertive skills - 1In order to use our assertive rights. For the same reason societies have police and armies… to defend our laws and territory.Tools to protect your boundaries.

Main habits that have to be developed during course and follow up - 2Checklist Assertiveness

Approach Avoidance Conflicts

Competence v IncompetenceRespect v DisrespectAcceptance v RejectionBeing Silent v SpeakingQuickly v Too SlowFluent Speaker v StammererSane v Insane

Positive Coaching


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