Using Description in Writing

Purpose:• To create a mood or a

feeling• To inform—e.g.

comparison• To persuade—e.g.

advertising

Key Concept Dominant Impression:

The single impression, quality, mood or atmosphere that

stands out/conveys an attitude or generalization about the

subject

Qualities of Good

Descriptive Writing1.Subjective vs. Objective details

2.Concrete details that rely on the five senses

3.Omit details that don’t support the dominant impression

Qualities of Good

Descriptive Writing4.Use of figurative language (metaphor, simile,

hyperbole, personification, etc.)

5.Strong verbs, vivid adjectives, descriptive adverbs, exact nouns

6. Involve reader enough to help him actually visualize the subject being described

OrganizationalOptions

1. Spatial—as they appear from left to right, front to back, etc. according to physical makeup (good for place)

2. According to the senses

3. Chronologically

4. Then vs. Now—shows decay, change, improvement, etc.

Show vs. TellUsing words and imagery to SHOW

that something has happened makes it much more believable to

the reader.He was angry.

orSitting at his desk, his jaw tightened. His eyes flashed

heat waves at me. The words erupted from his mouth, "I want to talk to you after

class." The final hiss in his voice warned me about his

feelings.Which sentence makes a better

impression?

How do I Show?Helpful Tip: Focus on the scene.

- Try to create a full sensory picture using as many of the 5 senses as are

appropriate.

- Help the reader to actually see the scene, hear the sounds, smell the

smells.

- However, be careful not to overload the reader with too much detail.

How do I Show?Example: Trying to describe a

sunset.

Things you can focus on:- Unique blend of color- Effect of the clouds

- Smell of the air- Birds, noises, other people

present, etc.

Can you think of any more?

When don’t I show?

Though showing and not telling is a very good tool for descriptive writing, it’d be difficult for a reader to go through a paper filled with show and not

tell.

Things to keep in mind:

- Is there something new I want my reader to experience?

- Is this something important I want my reader to SEE?

- Is it trivial enough to only give a few details?

Reminder -- You can both SHOW and TELL. If it’s

really important, you can use both showing and telling to

emphasize its importance to your reader. Don’t make every paragraph a plethora of

details, but also make sure not to make every paragraph full of facts.

Decide on what is important and SHOW that.

Example

TELLING: The girls were excited.

SHOWING: Giggles and screams filled the arena. The soft curls were now

damp with perspiration and the anticipation of the event. They held

tight to each other in a mock effort to contain themselves. Arms flailed

upward, and voices echoed in varying tones. The moment was here.

How is the showing example more helpful?

ExampleTelling: The morning was beautiful.

Showing: Behind the mountains, the sun peaked brightly, ready to start a new day. The blue sky remained silent yet

showed signs of sadness. The wind whispered through the trees as the

cheerful sun rose. The birds sang gently by my window as if they wanted to wake

me up.

How is the showing example more powerful?

ExampleTelling: The coffee was

enjoyable.

Showing: She cradled the mug in both hands and leaned her head over it in the rising steam. Pursing her lips, she blew softly over the clouded surface

and let her eyelids drop. Her shoulders rose slightly as she breathed in, and

she hummed with her head low. I lifted the tiny porcelain pitcher and poured a

brief rotating arch of white into the black depths of my own cup. She

opened her eyes, and we looked at each other across the table without

speaking.

Now You Try!Transform the following from

telling to showing:

He looked really tired.

She was very old.

I was so nervous.

The sandwich was delicious.