TABLE OF CONTENTSVolume 2 | Spring 2016 UNITE VIRGINIA STAFF

PUBLISHER & EDITOR-IN-CHIEFJustin Ayars, JD

EDITOR & CREATIVE DIRECTORJesse LaVancher

ART DIRECTORChristopher Murphy / Digital Empire Graphic Design

WEB DESIGNERMichael Romano

LOGO DESIGNERUmbrella Management Group, LLC

ADVERTISING MANAGERsales@unitevamag.com

NATIONAL ADVERTISING Rivendell Media

INTERNATIONAL FELLOWKenny Schmidt

COLLEGIATE FELLOWSTimothy CrumblyGretchen Gales

Richard Gonzalez

PUBLISHING CONSULTANTJoey Amato

CONTRIBUTORSJustin Ayars, JD

Caroline BirgmannTim Bostic

brideboookVAScott DemharterGretchen Gales

Eric HauseThe Honorable Mark R. Herring

Attorney General of VirginiaEmmett HickamMeredith JenkinsJesse LaVancher

Ted LewisSarah Pendleton

Emily TownleyRichmond WeddingsKimberly Nikole Welsh

PUBLISHING OFFICEThe Brookwood |1342 Flynn Road | Richmond, VA 23225

www.unitevamag.com

/uniteva

@unitevamag

unitevamag

http://unitevamag.com/blog

justin@unitevamag.com

Unite Virginia is published by Unite Virginia, LLC. All rights reserved.

INFORM Queeries: 17 Common Q&As About Gay Weddings Focus: The Origins of Modern Wedding TraditionsInsight: A Daughters College Essay Adds a New Voice to the Marriage Equality Narrative Grow: Your Guide to Wedding FlowersDont Forget the Little Details at Your WeddingInsight: Love Wins The Story of Tim Bostic, Tony London & Marriage Equality in VirginiaHampton Roads Says I Do to Same-Sex Weddings ROSMY Celebrates 25 Years of Service to Virginias LGBTQ+ Youth

CONNECTHow One Question Brought about a Major Victory for Workplace Equality in VirginiaWedding Basics in Four Steps LGBTQ+ Wedding TriviaFrom Nightclub to Wedding Vows: Scott & Tonys Nautical Journey to the AlterA Proposal Under the Northern Lights Leads to a Picturesque Richmond WeddingHow a Facebook Proposal Led to Roanokes First Traditional Non-Traditional Wedding

ENGAGEHow Do I Say I Do?Southwest Virginia Embraces Marriage Equality through OneLoveRoanokeMazel Tov! Jay & Jeff Tie the Purple Knot at Freddies Beach BarReady, Set, Plan! Your Step-by-Step Blueprint to the Alter

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Keep up-to-date on the latest news, join the conversation and share your stories with us! www.unitevamag.com www.facebook.com/uniteva @unitevamag info@unitevamag.com

Want to Advertise in Unite Virginia? Are you looking for access to a lucrative and untapped demographic? Would your business like to engage new markets? Do you want unparalleled opportunities to diversify and expand your B2B or B2C commerce? Look no further than Unite VirginiaVirginias LGBTQ Media Company. Email sales@unitevamag.com for more information, ad specs (both print and digital), and our Media Kit.

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Letter from the Publisher & Editor-in-Chief Editorial: Why Have a Gay Wedding Show?Opinion: The Well-Intentioned Wedding GuestForeword from the Attorney General of Virginia, Mark Herring

UNITE Virginia | unitevamag.com | 3Cover photo of courtesy of Unite Virginia. Unite Virginia promotes equality through storytelling. We provide the LGBTQ community and its allies a unified voice in Virginias evolving cultural, economic and social narrative.

They say that love and marriage go together like a horse and carriage. Throughout American history, the sacred institution of marriage has been an unattainable dream for Americas LGBTQ community. For countless loving couples, horses were denied carriages.

Marriage equality has only been the law of the land in the United States since June 26, 2015. The significance of the U.S. Supreme Courts landmark Obergefell v. Hodges decision, which opened the institution of marriage to the LGBTQ community, cannot be overstated. It reversed decades of institutionalized discrimination, inequality and repression. Just as it takes time to adapt ones muscle memory, it will take time for members of the LGBTQ community to truly realize (and take advantage of) the fact that their love can now be recognized and protected under the law.

As the LGBTQ community emerges from their recent, hard-fought marriage equality victory, members of the LGBTQ community and wedding vendors alike have been wondering how to connect with each other. Same-sex couples are not likely to attend a Bridal Show or a traditional Wedding Expo. This is largely because those types of events do not speak to the unique needs of the LGBTQ communitya community that, for many years, has been categorically denied the right to marry.

Similarly, wedding vendors that have long serviced heterosexual couples are quickly learning that in order to appeal to this new market sector within the wedding industry, they need to learn more about the LGBTQ community and find ways to market themselves as open, inclusive and trustworthy.

On April 17th, Unite Virginia and Richmond Weddings will host Engaged!, Virginias First Statewide LGBTQ Wedding Show, at the Greater Richmond Convention Center. This historic event will bring the LGBTQ community and inclusive vendors from across the Commonwealth together in one place the day after Equality Virginias Commonwealth Dinner (in the same ballroom, actually). Engaged! will allow members of the LGBTQ community and inclusive vendors to begin building relation-ships based on mutual respect, authenticity and trust.

Marriage equality is truly a beautiful thing. It has opened the doors to an institution that for generations has been denied to the LGBTQ community. Now the LGBTQ community can legally marry and be just as happy (or unhappy) as their heterosexual counterparts. Love and marriage now go together like a horse and carriage... equally.

Cheers,

JustinPublisher & Editor-in-Chief

FROM THE PUBLISHER & EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

Letter

By, Jesse Perrin La Vancher

Editorial: A Gay Wedding Show?

Youve marched, youve protested, youve fund-raised for the right to wedded bliss. Now its your time to celebrate.

Weve come a long way in our fight for equality, because everyone deserves to have the wedding theyve always dreamed of. When you and your partner talk about what your wedding will look like, the conversation proba-bly ends with more questions than answers. How many LGBTQ couples find themselves with simi-lar questions as to how to create their perfect day? Unite Virginia has partnered with Richmond Weddings to host Engaged!, Virginias first state-wide LGBTQ Wedding Show, on April 17th at the Greater Richmond Convention Center. Engaged! is a resource to help all those in Virginias LGBTQ community plan that perfect day. Weve gathered a talented selection of wedding industry experts to share their professional advice and insights that

will make your big day less daunting. Weve got you covered in all aspects of everything wed-ding-related, from where to stage the ceremony and what to wear while gliding down the aisle to the benefits of bringing on a wedding planner and how to begin preparing your lives together as a legally married couple.

By reaching out to the businesses found at En-gaged!, rest assured that you and your partner will be embraced by businesses that are not only sen-sitive to meeting your LGBTQ-specific needs, but that are wholeheartedly enthusiastic about helping you make memories that will last a lifetime. Plan a fabulous wedding with your spouse and make that day and the rest of your lives together the stuff that dreams are made of. Best wishes on your Big Day and beyond!

Jesse Perrin La Vancher is the Creative Director

UNITE Virginia | unitevamag.com | 7

Emmett Hickam is owner of www.RichmondBridalConsulting.com and www.RichmondGayWeddings.com. With almost 10 years of experience in the wedding planning industry, he brings creativity, inspiration, passion and organization to every event he produces. Whether its an intimate gathering for 25 or a no-holds-barred wedding for 450, there are not many things that he has not seen.

The wedding season is upon us! Wedding invitations are arriving in our mail-boxes and couples across the nation are preparing to say I do. Once you have been invited to someones wedding, there are some basic etiquette rules that you should follow as a good friend and guest of the hosts. Below are some tips to avoid some of the biggest wedding etiquette faux pas currently being committed by the well-intentioned wedding guest. 1. If you get an invitation, make sure you RSVP. Tell the couple yes or no as soon as you can. Weddings are expensive, and the couple needs to know if youre

coming or not. Its not just about the price of the food; its also the table you sit at, the flowers at that table, the chair you sit in, the china you eat off of, and so on. The couple needs to know how much to order and your RSVP is their answer. And while I am on the topic of RSVPs, if the couple does not extend an invita-tion of a plus 1, dont assume you can add one. The couple has spent hours on their guest list, and some of their friends and family did not make the cut. Please understand there are reasons you have not been extended a plus 1. 2. For Gods sake, PUT THE DAMN PHONE AWAY! I cannot tell you how many times I have seen wedding guests trying to get that perfect picture on their phone so they can show everyone on social media. Remember that the couple is spending thousands of dollars for a professional photographer to catch that perfect picture. You are merely in their way. Plus, no one wants to see their guests in professional pictures holding smart phones. Is this how you want to be re-membered 20 years from now when the couple looks at the pictures? If you want a picture, take one with the couple AFTER the ceremony sometime during the reception. And most professional photographers will be happy to share pictures with you if you ask.3. Dont wear white, leave that to the couple. Trust meif you do wear white, people will talk about you. 4. During the reception, please let the couple eat before you try to talk to them. I often see guests walk up to the couple while they are eating to say hi and try and have a conversation with them. Do you like people talking to you while you eat? Remember, this is probably the only down time they have gotten all day. So please give them 10 minutes to eat. Theyll be done soon and ready to engage all of their guests.5. Most importantly, have fun. Remember, its a party! Please dont sit there like a bump on a log during the reception. There is a reason the couple invited you. Your presence is a reminder as to why they are friends with you and want you in their lives. Be charming. Talk to people you dont know. Dance. Eat, drink and be merry! Just find something to do other than hold the chair down.