Type Talk and Relationships

16 Personality Types and Success on the JobBy Kroeger, Thuesen, Rutledge

Different personalities can accomplish everyday tasks in

very different ways.Typewatching is a constructive response to the inevitability of labeling… we might as well do

it skillfully, objectively, and constructively.

Typewatching

• A judgment-free psychological system… a way of explaining “normal” rather than abnormal behavior. It enables us to objectively view actions that we might otherwise take personally.

• Not a science

Awareness• Everyone has all 8

personality preference types to some degree or another

• There is no good or bad type• There is no one type that is

better than another• Typewatching helps you

become aware of your type preferences

• Typewatching helps you become aware of your strengths and weaknesses

• Awareness of your own preferences can you help you become more well-rounded

• Typewatching can help you understand and value differences in others

Human Behavior Theory

• Typewatching started over 60 years ago• C.G. Jung… behavior is not random,

but predictable and can therefore be classified

• There isn’t a right or wrong way of approaching issues… just preferences related to personalities

• Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI)… used to establish individual preferences and then to promote a more constructive use and understanding of the differences between people

Our Personal Differences are our Relationship’s Strengths

• Different strokes for different folks…

• It takes all kinds…

• Variety is the spice of life…

Understanding Yourself

• Typewatching allows you to identify your personality preferences and how you are similar to and different from those around you.

• You can identify where those similarities and differences make for harmony and where they cause misunderstanding and discord.

Why Typewatching?

• Allows various points of view to be heard

• Understanding and accepting your own strengths and weaknesses

• Define relationship problems in typological terms rather than personal ones

• Negotiate ethical differences by understanding that each type views an ethical situation differently

• Allows each person to relate according to his or her own style

• Understand that what can excite and energize one person can stress and drain another

• Better understanding that different types deal with time in different ways

What Type Are You?Instructions for assessment…

1. Must respond to each statement

2. Can only have one answer… if there’s a toss-up, you must choose your preference

3. Don’t over-analyze the questions, go with your instinct and general preferences

4. Remember, you are not choosing what you wish you were or hope to be… for this exercise to be useful, you must choose what you would generally prefer and what best describes you now

Scoring Your Assessment

1. Handout Assessment page

2. Adding up your responses

3. Identify your four letter type?

4. Identify your temperament?

According to this theory, each of us is born with a predisposition for certain personality

preferences. There are four pairs of preference alternatives.

• Extraverted (E) or Introverted (I)

• Sensing (S) or iNtuitive (N)

• Thinking (T) or Feeling (F)

• Judging (J) or Perceiving (P)

These words do not have the usual meanings that they have in our everyday language.

Right Hand / Left Hand

• Just because you’re right-handed doesn’t mean that you never use your left hand. You just “prefer” to use you’re right hand… it’s more “natural”

• However, in some tasks, using both hands will give you far greater ability, flexibility, balance and confidence

E / I = Energy & Inspiration

• Extroversion or Introversion has to do with where you get your energy and inspiration from…

• outside yourself (E)• within yourself (I).• Doesn’t necessarily

mean quiet and shy, but it can

S / N = Gathering Information

• Sensing and iNtuitive has to do with how you prefer to gather information…

• in a literal, orderly or sequential way (S)

• or in a more figurative, theoretical or conceptual way (N).

T / F = Making Decisions

• Thinking and feeling has to do with the way you prefer to make decisions…

• objectively and impersonally (T)

• or subjectively and interpersonally (F).

But remember… thinker’s feel and feeler’s think.

J / P = Day-to-Day Lifestyle

• Judging and Perceiving, has to do with your day-to-day lifestyle…

• do you prefer to be decisive and planned (J)

• or flexible and spontaneous (P)?

• Sociability• Interactive• External• Breadth• Extensive• Multiple

relationships• Energy expenditure• External events• Gregarious• Speak, then think

• Territoriality• Concentration• Internal• Depth• Intensive• Limited relationships• Energy conservation• Internal reactions• Reflective• Think, then speak

Extraverts Introverts

• Direct• Present• Realistic• Perspiration• Actual• Down-to-earth• Fact• Practicality• Specific

• Random• Future• Conceptual• Inspiration• Theoretical• Head-in-clouds• Fantasy• Ingenuity• General

Sensing iNtuitive

• Objective• Firm-minded• Laws• Firmness• Just• Clarity• Analytical• Policy• Detached

• Subjective• Tenderhearted• Circumstances• Persuasion• Humane• Harmony• Appreciative• Social values• Involved

Remember that thinkers feel and feelers think (objectivity vs. awareness of others feelings).

Thinking Feeling

Gender Bias

• Thinking / Feeling pair is the only type that has a gender bias.

• The Thinking woman swims upstream against a rather swift negative current in most aspects of her life, and nowhere is this more true than at work. If she is objective and decisive she is viewed as “hard” and “unfeminine,” among other terms.

• The Feeling male is similarly called a pushover simply for his caring nature.

• Resolved• Decided• Fixed• Control• Closure• Planned• Structure• Definite• Scheduled• Deadline

• Pending• Wait and see• Flexible• Adapt• Openness• Open-ended• Flow• Tentative• Spontaneous• Time is relative

Judging Perceiving

A Place for Everything

Nothing is ever lost… either a Perceiver has it and can’t find it, or a Judger has filed it and forgotten it.

Good and Bad Types

• How do you feel about your type?

• Do you feel that some types are better than others?

• Are there societal preferences of how we “should” be?

Changing

• You may find that you need to adjust your original preferences

• If you split scores or your scores are close on a type, you have probably learned to compensate in a non-preference area (but you will still have a natural preference)

• For example, you can be an “I” in Es clothing

Ten Commandments

1. Life tends to support our preferences.

2. Your strength maximized becomes a liability.

3. Typewatching is only a theory.

4. Typewatching is never an excuse.

5. The whole is greater than the sum of its parts.

6. Typewatching is only one lens through which to view human personality.

7. Typewatching must begin with yourself.

8. Typewatching is easier said than done.

9. Don’t blame everything on your opposite type.

10.Typewatching can’t solve everything.

Four Temperaments

• Sensing– Judging or Perceiving

• iNtuitive– Thinking or Feeling

NF NT SJ SP

ENFJ ENTJ ESTJ ESFP

INFJ INTJ ISTJ ISFP

ENFP ENTP ESFJ ESTP

INFP INTP ISFJ ISTP

NF – iNtuitive Feeling

• A phenomenal capacity for working with people and drawing out their best

• Being articulate and persuasive

• A strong desire to help others

• The ability to affirm others freely and easily

• 12% of the U.S. pop• Essential element:

People

“Hi, I’m an NF, and I’m here to help!

Teaching, counseling, religion, family medicine, etc.

Downside of the NF• Their warm styles can

make it difficult for others to disagree with them

• May have difficulty being supervisors as they tend to give workers too much leeway.

• Less concerned with credentials as with how much they like someone

• Risks that genuine contributions may be overlooked if personality differences get in the way

NT – iNtuition Thinking• A ready ability to see the

big picture• A talent for conceptualizing

and systems planning• Insight into the internal

logic and underlying principles of systems and organizations

• The ability to speak and write clearly and precisely

• 12% of U.S. pop• Essential Element:

Conceptualization

“Change for the sake of change produces learning, even if the only thing we learned is that we shouldn’t have changed.”

Strategic planners, researchers, never-ending quest for competence, driven to understand the universe.

Downside of the NT

• Their loyalties are directly related to someone’s competencies (not credentials)

• They learn by challenging authority and testing limits

• Critical of own and others shortcomings

SJ – Sensing Judging

• Administration• Dependability• The ability to take

charge• Always knowing

who’s in charge• About 38% of U.S.

Pop• Essential Element:

Procedure

“Don’t fix what ain’t broke.”

Administrators of systems that require precision and

organization; purpose in life is to belong to meaningful institutions; trustworthy,

loyal, helpful, brave, clean and reverent

Downside of the SJ

• Credentials are important, even if the SJ thinks a person is incompetent

• Not very patient• When something

goes wrong, they blame the system

SP – Sensing Perceiving

• Practicality• Adept problem-

solving skills, particularly at hands-on tasks

• Resourcefulness• 38% of U.S. pop• A special sense

of immediate needs

“When all else fails, read the directions!

Immediate, tangible rewards; firefighting, emergency medicine, mechanics, farming,

carpentry, negotiators, troubleshooters.

Downside of the SP

• SP’s operate under the assumption that “it’s easier to get forgiveness than permission”

• Their motto is “Just Do It”

• Act now, pay later• Hedonistic nature

Breaks

• SP – Do I need a change of pace?

• SJ – Is it time for a break?• NT – Is everything else under

control?• NF – Will it make me feel good?

Have a Nice Day

• NT – Have an interesting day.• NF – Have an inspiring day.• SJ – Have a productive day.• SP – Have a fun day.

Leadership

• Your preference of either Sensing or iNtuition is the primary indicator of your – Teaching style– Learning style– Communication

style– Leadership style

Sensing Leaders

• Use their 5 senses

• Tend to lead by exercising their experience and their command of detail

• Get stuff done• Detail-oriented

iNuitive Leaders

• Conceptualize• Future driven• Tend to lead by

exercising their vision and drive to change and develop their colleagues and the systems around them

• See the “Big Picture”

Thinking Leaders• Are analytical and

objective• Thinking leaders

strive to make decisions by standing back, removing themselves from the issue or subject at hand

• And employing cause-and-effect logic to reach a conclusion

Personal considerations make it into the T’s decision-making equation, but they do not control or overpower the process.

Feeling Leaders

• As leaders, Fs tend to exercise power through relationships and attention given to subjective human values.

• People First

Exercise: Fair Warning

• At org, Inc., the policy is that work begins at 9:00am. The employment manual says that all staff should be at their desks, engaged in their duties, by 9:00am to avoid reprimand. Today, John comes to work twenty minutes late.

• How would the T leaders respond?• How would the F leaders respond?

Extravert Leaders

• Es receive their energy through the outside world and influence others by engaging with them… talking and networking

• They “let it all hang out” (WYSIWYG)

• Can be more prone to talking than listening

• Likes to bounce ideas off of everyone

Introvert Leaders• Energized by their

inner world of ideas, thoughts, and concepts

• Influence by presenting ideas, plans, visions, or values (often in writing)

• Private, closed… has a lot brewing under the surface and only shares a small piece

• Needs time to think about things privately

Judging Leaders

• Work now, play later• Decisive, closure, structure, schedules• Order and control• Can give direction easily

Perceiving Leaders

• Ps are flexible, curious and open-minded people who can be easygoing, informal, adaptable and fun-loving.

• Can also be perceived as scattered, unscheduled and prone to having more starts than finishes.

One O’Clock Jump

• Two people – a judger and a perceiver – each have something on their calendars for 1:00pm on Tuesday. Something else has just come up that conflicts with the scheduled appointment. In both cases, the conflicting items seems attractive, even necessary.

The Judger is slightly irritated that the day’s schedule did not unfold as planned and will try to control the situation as much as possible.

The Perceiver is somewhat excited that there is yet another option available at 1:00pm and will readily adapt to the new interruption.

The real skill to be effective is to know when to adapt and when to control – regardless of type.

Viewing Leadership through Temperament

• Different personality types see power very differently and rooted in vastly different places.

• Viewing leadership through the lens of temperament gives us insight into how each of us tends to view power… where it is and how we are mostly likely to use it.

NF Leaders• The “People” People• Desire harmony, connection, inclusion,

and group cohesion• Take it personally if people don’t follow

NT Leaders

• Competence above all• Desire logic, clarity• Quick to criticize because it is through criticism

that we learn• One of the greatest gifts that an NT Leader feels

he/she can give to someone is criticism of performance as this will eventually free you from their scrutiny

SJ Leaders

• SJs see power in structure, hierarchy and traditions

• Titles, salaries, tenure, commendations

• Detail, practicality and efficiency

• Achieve order over chaos

SP Leaders

• The Troubleshooters

• Deal with the practical demands of the moment

• Exercise their power by solving problems

• Good at crisis management

Defusing the Situation

• NFs dashed to the phone to call their families to let them know that everything was all right and not to worry.

• NTs started debating with one another the effectiveness of the embassy bombing, the practice of phoning in bomb threats, and the role each plays in the efforts of international terrorism – a discussion that continued throughout the afternoon at the café across the street.

• The SJs automatically went to the corner of the room and pulled out an official manual to determine the SOP for dealing with bomb threats.

• The SPs, within moments, were in the hallway, directing traffic, answering questions, and getting colleagues out of harm’s way.

A meeting was taking place at a U.S. embassy in Africa. At one point an embassy official walked into the room and calmly notified the group that a bomb threat had been made against the embassy and that they must clear the building.

Attitude Pairings

• The physical world of action, people, places, and things is where leaders most often have to engage, so Attitude Pairings can tell us a lot about how a person’s behavior will both create and inhibit leadership potential.

• EJs – The Natural Influencers• IJs – The Strong, Silent Types• EPs – Energizing Forces• IPs – Quiet and Reflective

Real Leadership

• The real power of understanding type in leadership derives from your ability to access your preferences as well as your non-preferences.

• The most effective leaders seem to “have it all”

• They can be verbal and gregarious, yet reflective and thoughtful; they can pay attention to the details of the moment while paying heed to the bigger picture; they must be fair, objective, humane, and just; and they must be focused on results while staying open to changing circumstances and new information.

Reward and Punishment

• People have differing views of rewards and punishments

E and I Relationships

• Es and Is approach cooperation and teamwork from opposite directions which can lead to misunderstanding

• Es can demand more time and attention and can tire the people around them

• Is tend to keep a great deal of information to themselves and this can be viewed by Es with suspicion

S and N Teamwork

• Sensor– Everyone has a

job to do and that’s what you get paid for

– If I didn’t spend so much time in meetings on how to work together, I’d get my job done more quickly

• iNtuitive– The very image

of a team is inspiring and exciting

– If everyone could catch that enthusiasm… productivity, profits and pride would skyrocket.

T and F Teamwork

• Thinkers view teamwork as anything that accomplishes the task.

• You don’t have to like someone to work with them.

• Personal accountability is the key.

• Feelers view teamwork as how well people work together in doing the task.

• It is hard to work with someone you don’t like.

• Group spirit is the key.

More on Ts and Fs

• This preference is harder to over- come because it reflects opposing yet ingrained philosophies

• Products vs. process

• Head vs. heart• Task vs. people

• Obviously, BOTH is needed for teamwork and success!

• A successful company is one that balances its logical tasks with an awareness of the human element required to reach those tasks.

How to Help Ts Be Sensitive to Feelings

• Ts – If you’re a T, don’t respond when your feelings are strong (waiting is better)

• Ts - Prepare to respond by getting clear about what made you angry and why

• Fs - Listen to the T’s side and communicate your understanding of their logic

• Fs - Explain your feelings in an objective and logical way

• Ts - Suggest alternatives that can be made into a matter of policy

• Remember, to a T, it’s not personal and to an F, everything’s personal.

How Ts Can Help Fs Deal with the Tough Stuff

• Don’t give feedback when you’re feeling hard-nosed and critical.

• Prepare first by listing all the things the person did well.

• Say (in so many words) I like you and your work, and here are ways it could be even better.

• Be cooperative. Tell them you want to help.• Listen to the person’s feelings and show you

understand by sharing a similar experience.

J and P Teamwork

• “I’ll get you for being late.”• “I’ll vote for anything to end this

meeting.”• “Let’s not make rash decisions.”• “Isn’t it time to take a break?”

At 9:00am sharp the Js are sitting in place, pencils sharpened, ready to go (having read the agenda emailed before the meeting). By 9:05 the Js are already feeling resentful that they are being punished by the latecomers. The last P straggles in at about 9;17, apologizes for being late, glances at the agenda for the first time and suggests some changes. By 9:43 the team has already divided into several camps

Js and Ps

• The goal is to– Keep the Js

from coming to decisions too quickly, and

– Encourage the Ps to come to closure and completion on issues.

Problem Solving• Personality differences

provide the key to more creative and dynamic solutions.

• They also intensify and sometimes hamper our ability to work through problems effectively.

• The more people involved in solving a problem, the longer it may take, but the higher the commitment and the better the end result.

How the 8 Preferences Solve Problems

• Es talk them through with someone else• Is need time and privacy to reflect internally• Ss trust the facts and evidence• Ns consider alternatives and look at the

bigger picture• Ts keep everyone aware of the potential

consequences• Fs bring the reality of how the process affects

people• Js are solution/implementation oriented• Ps will massage a problem thoroughly

Balance

• If the best solution in the world does not take into account how it will be received by the parties involved, it works only on paper and is likely to fail.

• Conversely, if people are relatively happy with the solution but certain organizational objectives aren’t being met, this solution is also a failure.

Crises

• During times of crisis, it is human nature to fall back on our preferences.

• You can increase your success rate and reduce your stress by understanding how personality type plays a role.

The Z Factor

1. Gather the facts (Sensing)

2. Brainstorm possibilities (iNtuition)

3. Analyze objectively (Thinking)

4. Weigh the impact (Feeling)

Sensing

Thinking

Feeling

iNtuition

The Z Problem-Solving Model

Sensing iNtuition

ThinkingFeeling

Facts and details Alternatives

Analyze ObjectivelyImpact to others

Temperament and Problem-Solving

• ST – Rely on facts (S) and translate them analytically and objectively (T)

• SF – Rely on facts (S) and translate to how they affect people (F)

• NF – Rely on possible alternatives (N) and translate to how they affect people (F)

• NT – Rely on possible alternatives (N) and translate them analytically and objectively

As you use this model and include all temperaments, you can rely on others to provide your non-preferences in problem-solving.

Perspective is Key

• If you know at the start what preferences are missing from your problem-solving style, you’ll be better equipped to find solutions.

• By compensating for your non-preferences or underrepresented preferences you’ll ensure that the solutions are the best ones available.

Conflict Resolution

• People view conflict differently…• For some it is a creative and dynamic force that can

move the parties involved to a new level of understanding. An opportunity for growth!

• Others see it as a necessary evil that you can only grin and bear and hope that everything turns out okay.

• Still others view it as devastating and to be avoided at all costs.

T & F Conflict Resolution

• Thinkers would like Feelers not to personalize things

• Feelers would like Thinkers to consider their feelings and opinions

• The biggest concern for both Ts and Fs is the same thing…– losing control, albeit

for different reasons– Ts fear they might get

angry– Fs fear they might get

teary

E & I Conflict Resolution

• Es prefer to move a conflict to the external arena for discussion

• Is prefer to avoid conflict at all costs

More on Is and Conflict

• Is say to themselves, “Go inside and work carefully on your next move. Don’t expose yourself, don’t make a fool of yourself, and don’t say or do anything you’ll regret. Above all, stay aloof, cool, and quiet.”

• The Es perception is the Is don’t care or don’t think the problem is a big deal.

• Es give the problems to the outside world and the Is internalizes them.

• Nothing is more physically stressful to an I than conflict.

• Is have more stress-related illnesses because they hold everything in.

Judging and Conflict Resolution

• Js like structure, so any unplanned or unannounced change can lead to some abrasive responses, which are often interpreted as anger or disagreement, even when that’s not the case.

• Judgers can be shocked, flabbergasted, and amazed when, in the peak of a “discussion,” they are told that they sound angry.

Extraverts and Introverts

Group Activity 1: Describe your ideal weekend

Overcoming the Obvious

• If you can consider the personality preferences of the person with whom you are in conflict, you will find (while the resolution may take longer and be somewhat more arduous than you’d prefer) the end result is always better.

Goal Setting

Ideally, goal setting will get you moving in a direction.

E & I Goal Setting

• Es talk goals through and prefer a group experience

• Is prefer to reflect awhile and prefer advance thinking (drafts) and preparation

Remember…

SILENCE = CONSENT

Most Effective for E & I

• The most effective goal-setting process would be one that gives Extraverts the opportunity to verbalize (and re-verbalize) their ideas, and

• Introverts the time to reflect on what has been discussed

S & N Goal Setting

• Sensors• Hands-on, here-

and-now• Simple• Attainable• Understandable• No frills

• iNtuitive• Theoretical• Futuristic• Inspirational• Challenging• Dream the

impossible dream

T & F Goal Setting• Thinking• Products• Practical• What and how• State of the art• A thinker can be

committed to a goal but not necessarily in agreement with it or with everyone on the team.

• Feeling• People• Appealing• Who• Esprit de corps• For the feeler,

the whole purpose of a goal is to achieve harmony in the workplace.

… Compromise

Time Management

It’s a Judger’s world!

What is time?

• Extravert• Introvert• Sensor• iNtuitive• Thinker• Feeler• Judger• Perceiver

• Time is to be overpowered and used.

• Time is spatial, a concept.• Time is now; there is no

time but the present.• Time is possibilities; there’s

always time for one more thing.

• Time is an object, a resource.

• Time is relational and interpersonal.

• Time is to be scheduled and controlled.

• Time can be adapted and added to.

E & I Time Management

• Extravert• Stop talking and

start listening• When

scheduling, allow time for extraverts to extravert

• Introvert• Stop thinking and

start doing• When

scheduling, allow time for reflection and contemplation

S & N Time Management

• Sensors• A minute is 60

seconds• Exact time• Mean what they

say and say what they mean

• iNtuitives• A minute is more

than a few seconds, but less than an hour

• Relative• A rough guideline

T & F Time Management

• If a Feeler has an unpleasant task, it falls to the bottom of the list

• If a Thinker has an unpleasant task it goes to the top

• Feelers are chronic procrastinators• Thinkers are procrastinators when it comes to

giving praise• Ts need Fs to remind them that people and

process is as important as product• Fs need Ts to remind them that relationships

are not enough, you have to get something done

J & P Time Management

• Judgers want to control their environment and therefore their time

• Js have schedules and it’s clear how much free time is left

• However, Js can make great time going in the wrong direction

• Perceivers want to understand their environment so time is only something to be aware of, not imposed on others

• For P, all time is free, except what is scheduled

• Ps can overwork a solution long after it is productive to do so.

When it comes to managing time, it’s a Judger’s world. Learning to meet deadlines and be punctual in business if essential.

The Art of Planned Spontaneity

• Depending on your type you may need to schedule…

• Quiet time• Planned deep-

breathing• Open-ended

relaxation• Fun• Lunch• Bathroom break

Procrastination• Every type procrastinates around its non-

preferences.• Extraverts – delay things that involve reflection and

contemplation• Introverts – delay things that cause them to go

outside themselves• Sensors procrastinate around futuring and visioning• iNtuitives procrastinate around dealing with the here

and now• Thinkers procrastinate around the “touchy-feeling”

stuff• Feelers procrastinate around facing negative issues

directly• Judgers procrastinate around relaxing and any

activity that would take them off schedule• Perceivers procrastinate around getting organized

Key Points About Time

1. People procrastinate around their non-preferences

2. We either control time or adapt to it

3. Adapters will never be controllers and vice versa

4. We all have the ability to make accommodations.

Ethics, Morals, Values, Integrity

• Ethics is your character or moral state

• Morals reflect societal customs

• Values are your personal interpretation of society’s customs

• Integrity is the congruity between your values and ethics

Type Preferences and Ethics

• Es focus outward so ethical situations are seen as external events that touch many people

• Is have a high need to control only themselves and perhaps their immediate families

• Ss see ethics as specific and immediate and center around a specific event

• Ns view ethics as part of a grand system of universal truths and principles

• Ts see ethics as objective principles that, when violated, must be punished

• Fs see ethics as right or wrong being weighed against one’s personal value system

• Js see ethics as black or white… once determined, they are not negotiable

• Ps are always questioning ethics and in light of new data, can be reconsidered

Two Fundamental Points

1. The only ethical behavior for which you can be responsible is your own.

2. Your perception of someone else’s ethical conduct may be more a reflection of your own value system than a reflection of that person’s behavior.

• We all have different interpretations of life’s values.

• There are some absolute rights and wrongs, but even those are tempered by…– Ethnicity– Culture– Religion– Class– Personal

circumstances

3 Steps to Confronting Ethical Issues

1. Listen and learn… try to stay uninvolved and wait at 24 hours

2. Consider the source… how might type be influencing what is said and what is perceived

3. Act… Is it worth pursuing and if so resolve it and move on

Stress Management

One type’s motivation is another type’s stress.

Types and Stress

• All the things that inspire and motivate each of us can trigger anything from headaches to heart attacks for the other.

• There is something in each of us that can potentially drive someone else up a wall.

• Different types create stress differently• Different types deal with stress

differently

Stress

• The difference between being stressed and not being stressed is the wisdom to know which things we can control and which things we can’t.

• We can only control our own behavior, work habits and reactions.

Es, Is and Stress

• Extraverts have more stress when they feel alone, have no companion with which to talk and interact.

• Introverts are more stressed over the reality of having to confront the external world and relate to others.

A Word About Is

• The workplace usually rewards extraversion

• “Co-workers are shocked to learn that these chatty souls are Introverts in Es’ clothing. For the Is it is simply a survival technique, but it can carry a high price in the form of stress and related health issues.”

Sensors and Stress

• Stress occurs when too much time is spent theorizing or abstracting

• They need to get their hands on something, literally, and do something

• They need to move beyond the figurative and into action

iNtuitives and Stress

• Ns are stressed with too many details, accounts, and deadlines

• When they are stressed they need to think, conceptualize, ponder, imagine and create

A Word About Thinkers

• Lay to rest the myth that Thinking types find it easy to fire people and stay objective. In truth, Ts suffer just as much as Fs and the more an altercation escalates, the more a T’s anxiety rises.

• The difference is that Ts want to confront a stressful situation head-on, get it out of the way, and get back on track. Fs want to avoid it at all costs, hoping it will go away.

• An abundance of displayed emotions means loss of control to a Thinker.

• Stress is related to the inappropriate manifestation of anything too personal.

(See page 241)

Feelers and Stress

• Stress for the Feelers comes from getting overly involved too quickly in too many problems of other people, then having to remove themselves.

• Desertion, lack of caring, over-identification, pain, misery, non-productivity and avoidance surface in direct proportion to the F’s stress.

Judging, Perceiving and Stress

• Judgers get stressed – and give stress – when they lack their most precious needs…– Closure– Control– Organization

• A Perceiver’s stress mounts in direct proportion to either– the routine nature of the job or – the diminishing number of options available

on a given task

Most of the things that stress a P, a J can find satisfying and even enjoyable and vice versa.

The Bad News

• When we become seriously stressed, we can become the worst version of our four-letter opposite because our usual methods of coping aren’t working.

Be Prepared

• There are four preferences that conflict with social norms…– Introverts– Female Thinkers– Male Feelers– Perceivers

NFs Pros/Cons

• NFs strengths include their ability to persuade and cooperate.

• They are team builders

• Their weaknesses include an over-personalization of organizational problems and

• Their tendency to carry grudges

NTs – Pros/Cons

• NTs strengths include their ability to think systemically and strategically.

• Natural analysts• Their weaknesses

include their tendency to make things more complex than necessary and

• Their impatience with incompetency

SJ – Pros/Cons

• SJs strengths include their strong sense of responsibility and duty to the organization

• Organization’s backbone

• Their weaknesses include their rigidity and

• Narrow focus on meeting rules and regulations

SP – Pros/Cons

• Strengths– Ability to do a variety

of tasks with ease– Sense of urgency

when the situation demands it

– Organizational troubleshooters

• Weaknesses– Disinterest in routine– Lack of a sense of

the big picture

Live and Let Live

• Life is what we make it

• Embrace your strengths

• Bolster your weaknesses

• Assume good intent

• Go for it• Take a risk