tx citizen 7.10.14

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The Buoys are Back in Town | How to Get Pulled Over | Borders Without Borders

VOLUME THREEI S S U E 2807 . 1 0 .14

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table of contents

8Citizen

SoundcheckThe ONLY guide of i ts kindfor the NB/SM Metroplex!

13

12The County sMost WantedLook Mommy!Daddys in the paper!

15 Last WordColby solves the border crisis.

1st Word Somebody's going to get

crushed at Stinky Falls. 3

Letters Polit ical complaint backres.

Results: Hilarious 5

Hot inthe KitchenOur diva of the dish

gets her cheesecake on.

11Advice from

Opa EselQuestionable counsel

from Grandpa Karl.

Cover StoryWe spook out with New Braunfels' Ghost Tours!4

SportsThe Texas National Hot Dog Eating Championships6

Sound Out of TownBecause Austin, San Marcos and San Antonio occasionally have live music too.

10

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2 AD SALES 830.358.24932 AD SALES 830.358.2493 TXCITIZEN.COM 3

Well, this is a problem:

Back in 2013, in order to dissuade the scourge of river piracy, City Council approved the installation of the buoys above Stinky Falls. Sure, there were arguments made for the safety features that accompanied the buoys, but if I remember the night they were approved, and I do, the major complaint from NBPD Chief Tom Wibert was that unsavory types would hang out at the falls, and help unsuspecting tubers over all the way over intentionally scattering aforementioned tubers belongings to the rivers bottom, where the pirate and his or her friends would almost instantly begin looting. Im sure there are some people that think those buoys are there for safety. Theyre not. In fact, now that river crowds are back to pre-disposable container ban levels, the pirate deterrents pose a pretty clear threat to safety.

No EMT boats are getting through that mess, and should somebody stroke out, Im pretty sure the strokees lawyers will want to know why the City intentionally closed 95 percent of the right-of-way. Its like Manila down there.

When the buoys were first proposed, the public was expecting standard public pool style buoys, not a military-grade barricade. But heres the important thing to remember about them: its perfectly legal to go over/under/past them. Theyre just there. But naturally, law-abiding people dont want to breech what appears to be an official obstruction. So now weve got a problem. Fortunately, were chock full of solutions. Here are the Citys options, as we see them:

1) Remove the buoys, put a couple more officers or rangers on the clock, and go back to busting pirates. Perhaps Please Dont Help Tubers Flip Over signage might be in order. Put the bad guys on notice, so to speak.

2) Keep the buoys, but make it clear that its ok to pass them. Signage and a ranger or two can probably make that work. Friendly rangers. Not scary ones. You want the scary ones wearing

the Stay Alive Dont Litter t-shirts and handing out mesh bags. Yeah, our plan requires signage, but the City has never ever been shy about putting up

signs. Dont whine about it now, City Hall.3) Maintain the status quo,

and risk the consequences. Google The Who, Cincinnati, 1979 for an example of what to expect should we keep going in this direction. Remember, one of the main issues first responders had with the Last Public Exit is that they couldnt get through the crowd for heart attack and drowning victims and such. Hmm. Perhaps this buoy thing is intended to move the crowd to a more manageable area. Food for thought on that one. Chew on it. (The Police/Fire Departments are smart enough to have come up with that, but its advanced thinking for City Council. Not their wheelhouse.)

The Last Public Exit is, in fact, too small to compensate for the size of the Prince Solms entry area into the river. Is that by design? The City sure makes getting out of the river more difficult than getting in. If Schlitterbahn made it that hard to get out of the water theyd have crowd-control problems too. How about some better steps and handrails and such? How about that? Maybe some rangers too. That might help. I mean, everybody that ever rode my Adventureland Jungle Cruise boat was helped both on and off. Kept people moving. Prevented problems but only because we didnt want any.

Rockin R has a perfectly serviceable exit right before the Last Public. Ive never seen anyone use it in the four times Ive floated the Comal since 2005. Perhaps the City could rent that exit from Rockin R in exchange for not screwing with the tubing business anymore. Or cash. Im good either way.

NEXT WEEK: Litter on the river is the hot story again, and its only fitting that since 2011s mathematical shenanigans with the trash figures essentially created this column, that wed have a look at the coverage this time around. Guess what? More shenanigans, and this time the out-of-town media outlets are playing along.

\m/

Mike ReynoldsPublisher/Editor-in-Chief

WORD1ST

TXC MOB

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There is enough misery, madness and mayhem

in New Braunfels history to make even

William Faulkner wince. And you can learn

all about this disturbing and fascinating past

when you take the New Braunfels Ghost Tour.

The walking tour is the brainchild of Lamar

Elementary School teachers Anita Carrera

and Kathryn Chapman (who say their school

is haunted, as well). The goal of the tour is

threefold: to have fun, to illuminate overlooked

local history, and to encourage locals and

non-locals alike to grow a new, albeit creepy,

interest in the downtown area.

Whether you believe in the haunt or

not, if you love history, you will love the tour,

Anita said.

Carreras husband, Rick, agreed. I love

our tour because its based upon history itself.

These are all things that happened.

The tour meets in front of Naegelins

Bakery, and begins with its first stop at the

Prince Solms Inn and finishes in front of the

Faust Hotel.

Along the way you will learn answers to

the questions:

Which two star-crossed lovers meet at the

top of a staircase?

Which former County Clerk wont leave?

What crotchety old German settler still

haunts New Braunfels Coffee Shop?

What is 12-year-old Emma Voelcker

doing now, even though she was murdered

with an ax in 1874?

Who is messing with people at the

Phoenix Saloon?

What hotel owner believes he is still in

charge, even though he is long since passed?

Did one mysterious little girl ever find

her cat?

And much, much more.

While walking between the stops on the

tour, groups are regaled with other tales about

areas of the city not on the walk. Anita and

Kathryn note, for example, how Coll Street

seems to be the most haunted stretch in town.

Its been so much fun to research, to learn

about the buildings and the people, Kathryn

said. I cant learn enough.

Accurate research has been exceptionally

important to the team.

The two women say that at almost

every tour, they learn something new or are

presented with a new story to tell.

There are so many stories, we cant tell

them all, Anita said.

Those who dont believe in ghosts will

find an interesting insight to local lore and

little known historical facts. One such piece

of information is about the series of tunnels

that run beneath downtown, which are now

walled off. Those tunnels all seemed to have

run to the Phoenix Saloon and were a boon

to those who still wanted to grab a beer

during prohibition. Another historical tidbit

concerns the slaves who once built what

is now Landa Park, which are supposedly

haunting the area.

The team aims to educate while entertain.

We want the locals to know more about

their town and its history, Anita said. We

want the non-locals to know there is more here

than just the rivers.

Another goal for the group is to give a

boost to downtown businesses by whetting the

curiosity of hopeful ghost seekers.

We want to promote local business,

Anita said. We would like people to go into

Henne Hardware, go into the Phoenix Saloon,

go to the Faust Hotel or, next time theyre in

town, stay at the Prince Solms Inn.

And this is one of the beautiful parts of the

tour: The stories are not just about local history,

but the history of local businesses and the

buildings that house them. Henne Hardware,

according to the team, is the longest continually

operating hardware store in Texas. Gephardts

Chili Seasoning was made in the back of the

Phoenix Saloon as way to make to chili a year-

around rather than seasonal dish.

The tour begins at 8 p.m. in front of

Naegelins and runs about an hour-and-half.

Tours are offered Thursdays through Sundays

and the cost is $20 per person, but there are

discounts for those who mention the Ghost

Tours ad in the TX Citizen. There are also

teacher and group discounts. Those who

want to book a spot can go to the groups

website at nbghosttours.com, or call 830-

221-5221. Walk-ons are welcome if there is

room. The team asks that those taking the tour

be there at 7:45.

While they are not firm on the age

limit, New Braunfels Ghost Tours prefers

guests be 12 years of age and older. The

reason for this, as Rick notes, is so we

dont have to sanitize the stories of suicides

and murders.

The maximum size of a preferred group is

25. Any more than that, it becomes unwieldy

and loses intimacy, Rick said. The group

plans to keep the tour running yearly from

March through Wurstfest.

The Ghost Tour has already met great

success. Their Facebook page already as more

than 1,000 likes and the tours are filling up.

New Braunfels Ghost Tours is also ready

to begin a haunted pub-crawl on Saturday,

July 25, which will be a three-hour tour of four

bars. The pub crawl costs $25 (definitely no

children) and will be in smaller groups of 10-

15. Youll also get a koozie!

The tour is also considering adding a

Gruene addition next summer.

While Anita and Kathryn are keen on the

idea of a lockdown, there are no plans for

such, as of yet. So, anyone wishing to yell at

ghosts and challenge them to fights (as they do

on the TV) will just have to wait.

For those who dont believe in ghosts and

whatnot, consider how the mature Immortal

Jellyfish can turn itself back into an infant polyp

stage and start its life all over again, or how

the Golden Jellyfish feeds on sunlight. Thats

weird and those are just jellyfish. When you

look deeper into the quantum scale, things

become even more bizarre. So, in a sense,

ghosts arent the weirdest things around us.

Besides, many would say the world is a more

interesting place with ghosts.

Still, you dont have to believe to enjoy

New Braunfels Ghost Tours.

We have people who say, I dont believe

it. But they still come on the tour and they still

enjoy it, said teacher Kathryn.

I love history and if it takes a ghost

story to teach history, then thats fine, said

teacher Anita.

COVER STORY: New BraunfelsGhost ToursCOVER STORY: New BraunfelsGhost ToursWITH NICK ROGERS

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We Couldnt Agree MoreThe CitizenMr. Mike Reynolds, Editor Letter to the Editor

Dear Editor,Texas law (The Texas Ethics Commission and TxDOT) requires that the

display of political signs be limited to the 90 days before an election. The law further demands the signs be taken down and removed within ten days after the election unless the candidate is in a run-off. Most candidates try hard to observe these laws.

The signs for Donna Campbell have remained posted all over Comal County since the March Primary election. People have brought this to her attention and to the attention of the Republican Party, but neither she nor they have not acted to remove her signs. In fact, new signs are springing up within the last week.

These rules are enacted for good reasons. While an occasional sign may be missed, and left up too long, most candidates adhere to the law. It certainly appears that Campbell believes that she is above the law. Her behavior is a sign of disrespect for the law and the people of Comal County. This is not the only example of her disregard for others, but is certainly one that is easily observable and should be objectionable to everyone in Comal County.

Robbi Boone, ChairmanComal County Democratic Party1610 FM 484Canyon Lake Ranch, Texas 78133210-240-6565

It should be noted that Mrs Boone is not only the Democratic chair, shes also the wife of Dan Boone, who is running against Republican Campbell for the District 25 seat. It should also be noted that we took this photo of Mr Boones campaign sign on Tuesday, shortly after receiving Mrs Boones letter.

While we appreciate Mrs Boones concern for the welfare of the communitys eyeballs, she would be well advised to hold her husband to the same standards as his opponent, lest her moral high ground be surrendered. She does seem like a very nice lady, though.

Hey, at least Walnut is ohI challenge you to take a drive down S. Sycamore Ave., New Braunfels

Texas 78130. Its a disgrace! Third world countries have better streets that this! Roads between Elliott Knox and San Antonio streets are Shredded! You have to own a 4 wheel drive inside the city limits just to get around. Pot Holes and patches fill the streets. Already I have had one front end knocked out due to the cities negligence. Please respond with a decision when S. Sycamore Ave. between Elliott Knox and San Antonio St. will be up for re-paving. You can start your drive right in front of my house and see the joy, 531 S. Sycamore Ave.

As a footnote, S. Sycamore Ave. was used as a heavy equipment traveling street while paving the Walnut Street project. We experienced heavy pavers, dump trucks, and large bull dozers on our street daily. Other daily traffic also used this street as a detour. Beware, you should only drive less than 10 miles mph.

Sincerely a concerned tax payer,L. Dee Smithey

The TX Citizen, New Braunfels Puppy Playland, and the New Braunfels Theater Company want to thank the

following for making Midway Madness a huge success:

Major props go to The Phoenix Saloon - Courtyard MarriottTimeless Ink Tattoos - Freddy's Pawn and JewelryBosses Pizza - Gourmet Ice - Sparx Photography

Schmackdab Entertainment - Le Strange Sideshow the Frito-Pie eaters, and all of our rockin' volunteers!

We couldn't have done any of it without you!

Mark your calendars now Midway Madness 15 is booked at the Phoenix for June 26 of next year.

The TX Citizen, New Braunfels Puppy Playland, and the New Braunfels Theater Company want to thank the

following for making Midway Madness a huge success:

Major props go to The Phoenix Saloon - Courtyard MarriottTimeless Ink Tattoos - Freddy's Pawn and JewelryBosses Pizza - Gourmet Ice - Sparx Photography

Schmackdab Entertainment - Le Strange Sideshow the Frito-Pie eaters, and all of our rockin' volunteers!

We couldn't have done any of it without you!

Mark your calendars now Midway Madness 15 is booked at the Phoenix for June 26 of next year.

TXCITIZEN.COM 7

Kris Davis, coming off a painful defeat in last month

's Texas National Frito-Pie Eating Contest at

the Phoenix Saloon, redeemed himself by stuffing n

early six hot dogs down his gullet in ten

minutes' time at the Happy Cow on July 4. Seven eaters

entered, but only 12 year-old Jack Reynolds

came close to besting Davis in his quest for gastric g

lory. Jack's parents were relieved with the

results, as a win would only serve to encourage h

im. Our congratulations to Davis, who will

return to defend his title at next year's event, should

he be hungry again by then.

Photos by Katie Gomez

8 AD SALES 830.358.2493

Thu 7.10

Adobe VerdeTyler Hadlock

6pm

Freiheit Country StoreDavid Selbo

7pm

Iron Horse GrillJesse Stratton

8pm

Oma Gruenes Secret GartenJam Night

w/ Daniel Thomas Phipps, Matt Harlan

6pm

Phoenix SaloonJunior Nash

5pm

Rileys TavernPete Benz

9pm

AJs Ale HouseRock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show

9pm

Concerts in the ParkTexanna

7pm

Gruene HallZane Williams

7pm

The Pour HausThe Vagabonds

7pm

Fri 7.11

Adobe VerdeJJ Garrett Band

6:30pm

The Happy CowTBA

8pm

Iron Horse GrillTBA

7pm

Oma Gruenes Secret GartenArms Length

6pm

Phoenix SaloonShand Walton

5pm

Slim Bawb & the Fabulous Stumpgrinders

9pm

Rileys TavernAnthony Terry

w/ The No Refund Band

9pm


9pm

Alpine Haus RestaurantOff the Grid Polka Band

6pm

Billys Ice HouseNick Verzosa & Noble Union

8pm

Gruene HallBob Schneider

8pm, $25

The Pour HausMothership Connection

8pm

Vineyard at GrueneBennett & Hines

7pm

Vino en VerdeMatthew Aaron

8:30pm

Sat 7.12

Adobe VerdeBrett Hendrix Band

6:30pm

Black Whale Pub2 Rivers Trio

9pm

The Happy CowJordan Minor & The Bottom Dollar Band

8pm

Iron Horse GrillBand Blue Shift

7pm

Oma Gruenes Secret GartenMonty Guitar Tyler Band

1pm

The Jamie Krueger Group

6pm

Phoenix SaloonThe Georges

9pm

Rileys TavernBilly Dee Band

9pm

YOUR LIVE MUSIC

GUIDE



9pm

Gruene HallDanny Brooks

1pm

Dale Watson

w/ Holly Williams

8pm, $12

NB Farm to MarketDan McCoy

9:30am

The Pour HausWhiskey Rodeo

9pm

Vineyard at GrueneBilly Snipes

7pm

Vino en VerdeAvalon

9pm

Sun 7.13

Adobe VerdeJesse Stratton

6pm

The Happy CowT-Bone & the Bluetones

4pm

Oma Gruenes Secret GartenDeano & the Housejacks

2pm

Bare Fax

7pm

Phoenix SaloonLandmark Salon Cut-a-Thon

w/ Javi Garcia

12pm

True Audio Outland

7pm

Geronimo VFW #8456Glenn Collins & Alibi

3pm

Gruene HallBret Graham

12:30pm

Jon Christopher Davis

w/ Crystal Yates

5pm

The Pour HausThe New Vagabonds

7pm

Mon 7.14

Rileys TavernSongwriter Showcase

w/ John Whipple

8pm

Billys Ice HouseJonathan Garcia

8pm

Gruene HallTom Gillam

7pm

The Pour HausTony Taylor

7pm

Tavern in the GrueneCourt Nance Accident

8pm

Tues 7.15

Watering Hole SaloonTBA

8:30pm

Comal Country Music ShowStacy Stark, Winston ONeal, Bob Appel

6pm, NB KofC Hall

Gruene HallAaron Einhouse

1pm

Two Ton Tuesday

7:30pm, $5

The Pour HausOpen Mic w/ Jon Magill

8pm

River Road Ice HouseScott Morgan

6pm

Tavern in the GrueneRoots & Branches

7pm

The Blooms

9:30pm

Wed 7.16

Phoenix SaloonMario Flores

8pm

Rileys TavernTBA

9pm

Watering Hole SaloonJon Magill

8:30pm

Gruene HallThe Georges

7pm

The Pour HausPonderosa

7pm

River Road Ice HouseThe Texas Jamm Band

8pm

Vineyard at GrueneZack Walther

6pm

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Fri 7.11

Cheatham Street WarehouseRodney Parker & 50 Peso Reward

w/ Missoula Slim

9pm

The Continental ClubClub Lineup:

The Blues Specialists, 3:30pm

Ian Moore & the Lossy Coils

10pm, $10

Gallery Lineup:

Robert Kraft Trio, 8:30pm

Mike Flanigin Trio, 10:30pm, $5

Floores Country StoreGary Allan

w/ Rosehill

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Luckenbach Dance HallCasey Hubble

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Mike Stinson

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Red Eyed FlyAngel Head, Mount Pressmore

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No Holiday, Fouled Out, The Last Callers,

Garage Phaze, Bluster

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Sams Burger JointBand of Heathens

w/ Lukas Nelson, P.O.T.R.

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Stubbs BBQLindsey Stirling

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The Villettes

w/ Calliope Musicals

10pm, Inside

Sat 7.12

Cheatham Street WarehouseArmadillo Road

9pm

The Continental ClubClub Lineup:

Redd Volkaert, 3:30pm

La Tampiquene

w/ Graham Wilinson, Elizabeth McQueen,

Kevin Kerby

9pm, $12

Gallery Lineup:

Sherah & the Fine Souls, 8:30pm

Mike Flanigin Trio, 10:30pm, $5

Floores Country StoreJohn Slaughter

8pm

Luckenbach Dance HallThe Dust Devils

1pm

JB & the Moonshine Band

w/ The Crooks

9pm, $10

Red Eyed FlyJ Ray

9pm, Inside

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Dear Opa Esel: Whats up with the heavy law

enforcement presence during the holidays, especially the large number of State Troopers? Whats going on?

Paranoid Dear Paranoid:They are here to protect us from drunk

drivers and those who have a propensity toward violence. To do that, some members of law enforcement believe they must harass you in order to protect you. To avoid harassment and be considered a good citizen, you must do your duty and follow a few simple rules:

1). Stay indoorsA good citizen never leaves home. The

only people who go outside are drug dealers, immigrant smugglers, hookers, terrorists and the underprivileged (and we know what kind of troubles the last group can get up to). If you venture outdoors, you deserve vehicle searches and anatomical probes. How is law enforcement supposed to know its done its job properly if people are going outside? If you leave your house, the terrorists have won.

2). Dont have funFun leads to trouble, such as drug

dealing, immigrant smuggling, prostitution and terrorism. Good citizens do not enjoy themselves, they know better. Just think what the world would be like if everyone went outside to have fun? You know what they call people who have fun? Satanists, thats what.

3). You must haff ze papers in order, Herr Driver

If you dont have all of your proper paperwork in order, including a written permission from the local government to be outdoors, you can expect to be questioned and probed. Without paperwork, civilization crumbles and anarchy ensues. If there were no paperwork, how could officials know if the neer-do-wells are being properly probed? Al Qaida doesnt care about paperwork either, buckeroo.

4). Put some damn clothes on, you young hoodlums!

As I look around town, I am stunned, stunned at the number of people wearing

nothing more than swim trunks and bikinis. Good citizens do not go near the water. The water is bad. Unless you are being baptized, water belongs to the Devil. Thats why they dunked witches. I hear Bin Laden was great swimmer.

5). Stop being poorAs we all know, drug dealers are poor

people who drive 20-year-old cars, same as terrorists. You do not find young men in expensive cars dealing drugs. Never. They are our future bosses and government officials and would never stoop to such things. Never. If you think otherwise, then you must be high on the dope.

6). Dont get caught being not whiteFor those who are of the minority

persuasion, I just want you to know that while todays law enforcement officers are not racist, your non-whiteness confuses and frightens many of them. Best to lie low for, well, ever. For those who are white, please make sure to file the proper White paperwork before heading outdoors.

7). Dont have long hairWhile we all know that hippies no longer

dominate the drug and terror trades, the manuals they still use to train law enforcement were written in 1971. Regardless, put on some shoes you damn hippies!

8). Dont be from somewhere elseYou know what the problem with tourists

is? They come from strange parts. How much longer are we supposed to tolerate people from elsewhere flooding our local coffers with their ill-gotten loot? Stand with me, New Braunfels, and shout out so all can hear: Hey, tourists! We demand that you stop bringing us your money and keeping our local economy afloat! We are fed up with the large sums of cash you generously spend in our community!

Liebe, Karl

Karl Esel is a lifetime resident of our fair city, and is well known for his sage advice on a wide range of topics. If you find yourself perplexed with no one to turn to, send your question to Opa Esel at: [email protected]. Be sure to write Question for Opa Esel in the subject line of your email.

ADVICE FROM

OPA ESEL with Karl Esel

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MOST WANTED

$300REWARD

COMAL COUNTY S

MEDELLIN, JESSE RODRIGUEZMale 507 200 lbsDOB: 01/01/1976CHARGE: Possession of a controlled substance pg 1 under 1 gram and theft of property under $1500 with 2 or more previous convictions

FUENTES,ENRIQUEMale 505 150 lbsDOB: 05/28/1968CHARGE: Motion to revoke probation- possession of a controlled substance

GRABATIN,RODNEY JAYMale 506 130 lbsDOB: 01/21/1969CHARGE: Driving while intoxicated 3rd or more

GUTIERREZ,ANTONIO SILVAMale 505 125 lbsDOB: 06/13/1960CHARGE: Motion to proceed with adjudication- possession of a controlled substance

COLYER,BRIAN WMale 510 200 lbsDOB: 07/23/1974CHARGE: Theft of property over $1500 under $20,000

HERNANDEZ,ANTONIO

BERMUDEZMale 600 210 lbs

DOB: 06/11/1942CHARGE: Driving while intoxicated 3rd or more

HERNANDEZ,RUBEN JR

Male 509 189 lbsDOB: 05/05/1969

CHARGE: Motion to revoke - theft property

over $1500 under $20,000

REYES,BRIAN MICHAELMale 601 195 lbs

DOB: 08/21/1973CHARGE: Credit card

or debit card abuse

REVOLTA,JESSIE ROLANDO

Male 509 185 lbsDOB: 11/14/1984

CHARGE: Assault public servant

MOTT,JAMES LOUIS

Male 507 220 lbsDOB: 10/14/1961

CHARGE: Motion to revoke probation -

intoxicated assault with vehicle SBI

The names listed have been released in accordance with the Texas Public Information Act. This is a true and accurate account as of Monday, July 7, 2014 at 9:05 am and may not be current by the time it is read. Do not try to apprehend anyone. These are listings of criminal warrants with the Comal County Sheriff s Office and are not indicative of guilt or innocence. Officers are to verify the status of each warrant prior to making an arrest. Any person is innocent of wrongdoing unless proven guilty in a court of law.

FOR INFORMATION LEADING TO THE ARREST OF COMAL COUNTYS MOST WANTED. Callers will remain anonymous. 830.620.3400 - 24-Hour830.620.3411 - Mon-Fri 8am to 5pm

FRIESENHAHN,RALPH ALFREDMale 600 220 lbsDOB: 07/14/1952CHARGE: Driving while intoxicated 3rd or more

Enjoy Responsibly 2014 Shock Top Brewing Co., Shock Top Lemon Shandy Flavored Belgian-Style Wheat Beer, St. Louis, MO

Brand: Shock Top

Item #: PST201410573

Job/Order #: 262167

Trim: 5.06" x 11.31" Bleed: none Live: 4.81" x 11.06"

Closing Date: 4/25/14 QC: CS

Publication: TX Citizen

By Gustavo Arellano

Dear Mexican: I noticed that

Mexican people dont generally smoke.

Dont get me wrongIm not condoning

smoking, but its interesting to see how

some groups do or do no smoke, and I

have yet to see a Mexican person smoke

cigarettes. Does the tobacco industry

not target Latinos?

Fulminating Fumador

Dear Gabacho Smoker: American Lung

Association stats show that Latinos have the

second-lowest rate of smoking among ethnic

groups, with only 15.8 percent of Latinos

smoking in 2008, compared with 21.3 percent

of negritos and 22 percent of gabachos. And

in the Latino category, Mexican immigrants

had an astoundingly low rate of 11.6 percent

(Chicanos, on the other hand, smoke at a 20.1

percent ratego, assimilation!). And its not a

new trendstudies going back to the 1980s

cite the low smoking rate of Mexis. Reasons?

Catholicism, mostly: the Church forbade

smoking back when it ruled Mexico, and the

stigma resonates to the present day. Besides,

Mexicans need their lungs for the Reconquista.

Our livers, on the otra hand? Meh

Dear Mexican: Mexicans, birds, and

ferrets all seem to be naturally attracted

to shiny, sparkly things no matter how

gaudy or tacky. If evolution is true, does

this mean that Mexicans evolved from

birds and ferrets?

Fond of Frottage

Dear Gabacho: No, were descended

from jaguarsand evolution says well

eat gabachos to extinctionor is that

demographics?

Dear Mexican: Hola! Im a long time

reader, first time writer. I was thinking

a long time about what to ask, because

I dont want to ask a dumb question and

embarrass myself. I finally decided to

ask on something that tends to bother

me a lot. Why do you think that the

second and/or third generations of

Mexicans born in this country dont

know about their history? What makes

parents not teach their kids?

My father is Mexican and my mom

is of Latino descent. When I was a small

boy, I was always taught about my

heritage and I embrace it. I know that it

has to do with where I was brought up, but

I was raised in a predominately Mexican

area of Houston. When we moved away

from there, I came to reside in an area

with more gringos than anything. Now

my brother, who is 13 years younger

than I am, knows a small amount, if

anything, about his heritage. Dammit!

Im proud to be brown and I think that

the younger generations should be too.

Just so you know I am not some cholito

with tattoos and a lowrider; Im just a

regular guy in his twenties who happens

to know where he comes from.

El Nio Confundido

Dear Confused Boy: Its not just the

second- and third-generation Mexicans who

forget their history; as you noted in your own

family story, even younger siblings within

familias forsake their traditions, even if they

live in the brownest sections of town. But

everyone in this country forgets, from the

Know Nothings who are currently demonizing

Central American and Mexican kids coming

across the border with the same language

used against their ancestors to Mexican-

Americans who rail against new arrivals from

southern Mexico despite being ms darker

than pressure-treated redwood to the neocons

who want us to invade Iraq anew. I wish I

could end this answer on a funny note, but

our collective historical amnesia is the biggest

threat to the U.S.s future sincea yak in heat!

Ask the Mexican at [email protected],

be his fan on Facebook, follow him on Twitter @gustavoarellano or follow him

on Instagram @gustavo_arellano!

ASK A MEXICAN!

!

TXCITIZEN.COM 13

Enjoy Responsibly 2014 Shock Top Brewing Co., Shock Top Lemon Shandy Flavored Belgian-Style Wheat Beer, St. Louis, MO

Brand: Shock Top

Item #: PST201410573

Job/Order #: 262167

Trim: 5.06" x 11.31" Bleed: none Live: 4.81" x 11.06"

Closing Date: 4/25/14 QC: CS

Publication: TX Citizen

Well, Im at the halfway point of my Alaskan culinary adventure, and I have been baking up a

storm each day! Our guests have enjoyed seeing glaciers, bald eagles, orcas, and whales, and

when they return to the boat after a long day of sightseeing and activities, we have dinner and

dessert waiting for them. They have especially enjoyed the tastes of Texas that Chef April and I

have brought along, including my Texas Chili recipe, BBQ ribs and chicken, and tamales I may

even send them out fly-fishing with a Thermos of my homemade wassail this week! Many of our

guests are on-board to celebrate a birthday or anniversary so the champagne and chocolate are

in high demand! The following dark chocolate cheesecake is a big hit and we make it every

week. I hope you make it at home for your next special occasion and enjoy it as well.

Dark Chocolate Cheese Cake 24chocolatewafercookies

1tblssugar

cup(1/2stick)butter,melted

10 oz high quality dark chocolate,

chopped (I used Callebaut)

4 (8 oz) packages of cream cheese,

room temperature

1cupsplus2tblssugar

cupunsweetenedcocoapowder

4largeeggs

cupheavywhippingcream

8ozmilkchocolate,coarselygrated

1tblssugar

Darkchocolatecurls

For the crust:Preheat oven to 350. Butter 9-inch diameter spring form pan with 3-inch-high sides. Blend

cookies in food processor until finely ground; blend in sugar. Add melted butter and process until well blended. Press crumbs evenly onto bottom (not sides) of prepared pan. Bake just until set; about 5 minutes. Set aside and allow to cool while preparing filling.

For the filling:Stir chopped dark chocolate in metal bowl set over saucepan of simmering water until

melted and smooth. Remove bowl from over water; cool chocolate until lukewarm but still pourable. Blend cream cheese, sugar, and cocoa powder in food processor until smooth. Blend in eggs 1 at a time. Mix in lukewarm chocolate. Pour filling over crust and smooth the top. Bake until center is just set and just appears dry; about 1 hour. Cool 5 minutes. Run a knife around sides of cake to loosen. Chill overnight.

For the topping:Stir whipping cream, 6 ounces chocolate, and sugar in heavy medium saucepan over low

heat until smooth. Cool slightly. Pour over center of cheesecake, spreading to within 1/2 inch of edge and filling any cracks. Chill until topping is set; about 1 hour. This cake can be made 3 days ahead. Cover with foil and keep refrigerated. Release pan sides. Transfer cheesecake to platter. Top with chocolate curls. Let stand 2 hours at room temperature before serving.

Until next time, Eat, Drink & Be Sherri!

Sherri

Copyright 2014 by Eat, Drink & Be Sherri. All rights reserved.Sherri Gallagher is a New Braunfels chef who grew up in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, where she began cooking at the age of 8. This summer Chef Sherri will be sailing on the M/V Liseron which sails weekly from Sitka to Juneau, Alaska. On board, Chef Sherri will be preparing breakfast, lunch, dinner, happy hour hors doeuvres, and cocktails for her 20 passengers and crew, so get ready for some amazing new recipes! Chef Sherri can be contacted at [email protected].

Hot in the Kitchen!with Sherri Gallagher

14 TX CITIZEN 14 AD SALES 830.358.2493 TXCITIZEN.COM 15

Borders.Imagine a world where your life is not as it is today. Imagine a world where you havent been able to find work, any work, for years. Imagine a world where your family is hungry or where theyre sick and you have no way to help them. Imagine that your ethnicity or your religion makes you an enemy of the state, that you are in real danger every day. Imagine that you live in a place where none of this will ever change.

Most of the Democrats in Washington D.C. would have you believe that you already live there; the rest of the world knows better. They try to get into this country in droves. They give up everything they have and know to get here. They even risk their lives.

Strangely, its Democrats, not Republicans, who seek to embrace these people. In doing so, Democrats give themselves a political edge over Republicans. This really neednt be the case. Its the Republican philosophy, even more so than that of libertarians, which really speaks to these people. Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free. should be the motto of the Republican Party, not something they run away from.

Because Republicans refuse to find a way to welcome these people, Democrats are able to paint Republicans as xenophobes. The truth is that most Republicans have specific and realistic concerns about immigration, but the Republican leaderships messaging on this point is so awful that the default assumption is that Republicans are bigots. Libertarians have long argued for open borders, and Republicans should consider adopting that position and working towards solutions that prevent them from supporting it.

The foremost concern is one of security. In an age of terrorism, its a very real danger to have insecure borders. We need to know who is coming into the country and why. Open borders doesnt have to mean anarchy, though. The 9/11/01 attacks occurred under something similar to our current system. It wouldnt be difficult to have an open border system that required immigrant came through specific checkpoints to enter the country. This would allow for appropriate security.

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TXCITIZEN.COM 15

Borders.Imagine a world where your life is not as it is today. Imagine a world where you havent been able to find work, any work, for years. Imagine a world where your family is hungry or where theyre sick and you have no way to help them. Imagine that your ethnicity or your religion makes you an enemy of the state, that you are in real danger every day. Imagine that you live in a place where none of this will ever change.

Most of the Democrats in Washington D.C. would have you believe that you already live there; the rest of the world knows better. They try to get into this country in droves. They give up everything they have and know to get here. They even risk their lives.

Strangely, its Democrats, not Republicans, who seek to embrace these people. In doing so, Democrats give themselves a political edge over Republicans. This really neednt be the case. Its the Republican philosophy, even more so than that of libertarians, which really speaks to these people. Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free. should be the motto of the Republican Party, not something they run away from.

Because Republicans refuse to find a way to welcome these people, Democrats are able to paint Republicans as xenophobes. The truth is that most Republicans have specific and realistic concerns about immigration, but the Republican leaderships messaging on this point is so awful that the default assumption is that Republicans are bigots. Libertarians have long argued for open borders, and Republicans should consider adopting that position and working towards solutions that prevent them from supporting it.

The foremost concern is one of security. In an age of terrorism, its a very real danger to have insecure borders. We need to know who is coming into the country and why. Open borders doesnt have to mean anarchy, though. The 9/11/01 attacks occurred under something similar to our current system. It wouldnt be difficult to have an open border system that required immigrant came through specific checkpoints to enter the country. This would allow for appropriate security.

Those entering into the country could be screened carefully, and because this would accommodate most legitimate immigrants, more resources could be applied to finding those trying to get into the country illegitimately.

Immigrants arent the problem. By having an effective system for entry into the country we could address the actual problems. We could do background checks, screen for communicable disease, and even help immigrants find charitable services that might help them get started. In reality, this would be little different from what we have now. We would only need to get rid of specific quotas and guidelines for immigration that are outdated and based on racist principles of the past.

Another concern is that a massive influx of immigrants will be a drain on our resources. This true in as far as it goes, but it doesnt have to be that way. This is only a problem because we have created a social safety net that is entirely too broad. If we were more careful to remove government subsidies that perpetuate poverty instead of alleviating it, or at least restrict access to those truly in need, this wouldnt be a problem. Once again its not the immigrants that are the problem but other aspects of our system. Why not correct the real problem?

More importantly, immigrants can be a benefit to the system instead of a drag on it. Immigrant will take jobs, but they will create them too. Cheap labor will allow for greater innovation and will eventually add to the economy. Immigrants will add to the tax base, and in many cases, those coming to this country will be the very ones who become the most prosperous. And, prosperity breeds prosperity. If we look at past examples of immigration in this country, its easy to see that while there is an adjustment period, the end result is a net gain for our country.

The last concern is the most disturbing. Many feel that a new wave of immigration will create a voting bloc for big-government Democrats. Statistically speaking, this holds up. Polls show that new immigrants lean heavily Democrat. Theres no reason why this should be, though.

First, allowing people into the country does not automatically make them citizens. Theres

no reason why entry into the country shouldnt be easy but citizenship hard. If immigrants come to this country with the intention of making it their home and contributing to the system, you can be certain that they will actively seek citizenship. In truth, we already have a pretty stringent process for becoming a citizen, but if there are lapses it should be easy enough to correct them.

As to the possibility of non-citizens voting and skewing our politics, it seems to me that this is an issue of election law. Already Republicans have been working to ensure the integrity of our election system. It would be worthwhile to focus on this with a message that each citizens vote should be counted and not diluted with illegitimate voting. The idea that we, as one of the most developed and advanced countries on earth, should not have a system that includes fraud proof elections is insane. Secure elections should be just as important as secure borders.

Immigrants arent the enemy; we want them. The people who seek out a better life for themselves and their families are the very ones we want. The tired, the poor, those yearning to be free, the souls who risk their all to get to this country are the ones who appreciate what it means to be an American. We could learn a lot from them ourselves. They dont come here looking for a handout; they come for a chance at freedom. They come to one of the few countries on earth where that is a real possibility.

America is a country that was built on and by immigrants; we all came from someplace else (with a few Native-American exceptions). Were a melting pot, and our differences, ethnic and otherwise, have made us great. A system that allows for open immigration would allow us to continue to adopt the best ideas and best people from around the world. Republicans should consider this and act to legislatively remove the obstacles to a more open immigration policy. It would be good for them, and it would be good for America.

Last WordWith Kelly Colby

You can read more from Kelly Colby at yourfirstshrug.blogspot.com.

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