this is your brain on anger - educatored.com · responses to those emotions. ... the less they are...

This is Your Brain on Anger

Presented by:Diane Wagenhals, M.Ed., CFLEWebsite: www.lakesidednet.com

Course Goals

Consider how the brain responds to anger inbiochemical ways that can in turn impact the courseof one’s anger

Explore ways the brain’s biochemical reactions set upphysiological roadblocks

Appreciate the fundamental ways the brain operates,grows and develops

Understand and manage anger in healthy, effectiveways

Respond intentionally, systematically and effectivelywhen others angrily confront them

We expect to help participants:

Course Goals

Facilitate or teach others about anger Appreciate the impact of verbal aggressiveness and

abuse Discover the effects of anger on child development Expand ways to use the NPTI Anger Tree to connect

feelings with thoughts

We expect to help participants:

Background Information

Scientists are in the process of discovering specificconnections between emotions and physiologicalresponses to those emotions.

Emotions often have a social context: beliefs andbehaviors that are accepted and expected by aculture greatly influence if, when and how a group ofpeople feels and expresses anger.

Anger is an emotional and physiologicalphenomenon.

New research shows that emotionally expressinganger tends to exacerbate, not lessen, it.

Brain Development

The cortex is where logic and judgment reside; thethinking part of the brain.

The cortex is located on the top area of the brain,with the pre-frontal cortex being the area rightbehind one’s forehead.

The limbic system is the emotional part of the brain. The limbic system is located lower in the brain and is

considered to be a more primitive area than thecortex.

When someone is emotionally experiencing andexpressing anger, they are not in the thinking part ofthe brain.

Brain Development

A small structure in the limbic system is theamygdala, which is “the sentry” of the brain.

The amygdala is a storehouse for emotionalmemories.

The amygdala is the area responsible for the “fightor flight” emotional reactions.

The amygdala instantaneously checks in with thehippocampus and other parts of the brainresponsible for storing memories.

All incoming data from the world passes through theamygdala where decisions are made as to whether itgoes to the cortex or limbic area.

Brain Development

If there is enough of an emotional charge created byincoming data, the amygdala can override thecortex.

The person will now react from the lower brain area(limbic).

When under extreme threat the person will reactfrom the midbrain.

The amygdala “charges into action without regard forthe consequences” because it is not able to considerpotential impact.

Goleman (author of Emotional Intelligence) calls thisan “amygdala hijacking.”

Hormones of Anger

The amygdala has the power to flood the brain withhormones called catecholamines that cause physicaland emotional alarm.

The first surge of hormones creates a rush of energyto prepare the person for fight or flight.

The impact of this hormone can last several minutes. The thinking part of the brain may not be engaged

when a person becomes violent in words or actionsbecause of these hormones.

Hormones of Anger

It can take an average of 20 minutes for a personwho has experienced an angry state of arousal tocalm themselves, to move from the limbic to thecortex area.

A second hormonal response is adrenocorticalarousal whose impact can last for hours and evendays.

Having this hormone that lasts so long in the bodycan explain why someone has an initial, powerfulanger reaction, seems to calm down, but then canhave a huge flare-up later that is disproportionate tothe situation.

Dr. Bruce Perry

“Any factors that increase the activity orreactivity of the brainstem (e.g. chronic,traumatic stress) or decrease the moderatingcapacity of the limbic or cortical areas (e.g.neglect, brain injury, mental retardation,Alzheimer’s, alcohol intoxication) will increasean individual’s aggression, impulsivity andcapacity to be violent.”

Dr. Bruce Perry

Perry points out that the brain organizes itself in a“use-dependent” fashion.

This means that the more one part is stimulated andactivated, the more it will change, develop andeventually have the potential to be more dominantthan it previously was.

Young children exposed to chronic violence oftenexhibit dissociative behaviors.

Lower parts of the brain tend to be activated moreeasily than for children who have not had exposureto chronic violence.

Continuum of Arousal

Perry describes a continuum that delineates degreesof arousal beginning with sleep and moving to acalm-alert state and further to an alarm-vigilant stateto fear and terror.

There are many reactions to these brain states. Children exposed to chronic stress tend to remain at

higher arousal levels even when more relaxed. The higher a child’s arousal state, the less they are

operating from their cortex and the more theyoperate from limbic or midbrain areas.

Continuum of Arousal

When there high states of arousal because there areconflicts between children, simple didactic conflictresolution models tend to be less effective.

Educators who appreciate that children who are in ahigher state of arousal are not operating from theircortex can teach them ways to resolve conflicts byusing less verbal and more tactile, kinesthetic andrepetitive teaching techniques.

Normal High Levels of Arousalin Toddlers Toddlers can be prone to violent outbursts because

they have a difficult time modulating the reactivebrainstem-mediated state of arousal.

This is normal for most toddlers. When provided gentle, safe structure, over time they

learn the necessary abilities to maintain self-control.

Varying States of Arousal

Because all new faces are judged to be threateninguntil proven otherwise, when the average personmeets and interacts with someone new it is likelyboth are in the mental state of arousal.

Their cognition is concrete and they operateprimarily from the sub-cortex and secondarily fromthe limbic system.

How each brain has been wired and how easily theyshift in or out of high levels of arousal can greatlyimpact how well someone can take in information.

Chronic Fear & Anger MayChange DNA Perry has claimed the term “devolution” to describe

growing evidence that the changes in hormonelevels resulting from chronic fear and anger maybecome encoded in the genes and passed on tonew generations.

Perry notes that not all stress is bad for children,“…animal models suggest that early exposure toconsistent, moderate stress can have a long-termpositive impact resulting in resilience.”

Appreciating Brain States

Understand some of the fundamental ways the brainoperates, grows and develops as a way to understandwhy children or adults behave a certain way

Recognize what they may need to help develop healthybrain connections

Appreciate the probability that some children arehandicapped by the intensity of their arousal and as aresult are less able to think clearly, concentrate or focuson intellectual processes

Be more compassionate and patient with these children.

This information can help educators:

Do People Inherit AggressiveTendencies? According to most research, heredity and aggression

seem to be only slightly related Children do appear to inherit temperamental

qualities and certain temperaments place children athigher risk for being more aggressive

In and of themselves, these temperamental qualitiesdo not predestine a child to be aggressive, ratherthey increase the probabilities

Connections

Violence and alcohol abuse: Research involvesmany complex factors and it is challenging to comeup with a definitive conclusion.

Gender and aggression: Most research indicatesmale children to be more aggressive than femalechildren. There is a significantly higher percentageof men charged with crimes involving aggressionthan women.

Many reasons to explain this difference. Educators need to be careful about stereotyping

boys as aggressive and girls as passive.

What Children Need

By helping children practice being assertive ratherthan aggressive, equipping them with words toexpress feelings and needs, giving them assistancein learning to be socially appropriate, adults cangreatly increase the probability that children willmanage anger in healthier ways and are less likelyto be aggressive.

Verbal Aggressiveness & Abuse

Physical aggression often receives more attentionthan verbal aggression.

“Words can hit harder than a fist.” Verbal harshness can create most of the same

issues related to those created by physicalaggression.

Screaming, out-of-control adults can terrify a childand cause children to experience similar levels ofstress as they might if they were physically attacked.

Effects become more dramatic when fear and terrorare sustained for long periods of time.

Impact of Parental Anger

When adults are more aware of the potential impactof their anger on a child’s emotional health and thehealth of the adult/child relationship, they might bemotivated to be more careful about when and howthey express their anger.

All parents get angry with their kids at one time oranother and many get angry on a regular basis(McKay, Panning, Paleg and Landis When AngerHurts Your Child)

Impact of Parental Anger

In one study, 1/2 the parents reported getting soangry that they had hit their children “really hard.”

40% reported they feared they might get so angry asto really hurt their child in the future.

2/3 of parents in the study stated that their angerprovoked shouting or screaming at their children anaverage of 5 times per week.

One conclusion, “…overall, emotional supportdiminishes as parental yelling, threatening andhitting increases. In other words, kids get less ofevery kind of nurturing and encouragement asparents get more angry.”

Anger-Punishment Connection

A 1985 survey found that 90% of parents in the U.S.used corporal punishment by the time their childrenwere 2 years old.

In 1965, a reported 1/4 of infants aged 1-6 monthswere spanked and by 12 months that numberjumped to nearly 1/2 of the children.

2/3 of mothers with children under the age of 6reported using corporal punishment 3 times a week.

Research indicates that parents who yell the mostoften are the ones more likely to hit with greaterfrequency and intensity.

Anger-Punishment-AbuseConnection Authors report their findings indicate, “…the more

corporal punishment is used, the greater the risk ofescalation because corporal punishment does nothelp a child develop an internalized conscience.Instead it leads to more physically aggressivebehavior by the child. The more parents rely onhitting, the more they will have to do it over time.”

A 1994 Gallup poll reported, “nearly 1 in 20 parentsdisciplined their children to a point where they werecommitting physical abuse.”

Clearly there is a connection between anger andabuse.

Common Triggers

Combination of lists of distortions from The AngerControl Workbook and The Anger ManagementSourcebook identify some typical, unfair andinaccurate beliefs and resulting trigger thoughtseducators might have:

~ Blaming~ Catastrophizing/magnifying~ Misttributions~ Overgeneralizations~ Demanding/commanding~ Irritation fixation

Common Triggers

Combination of lists of distortions from The AngerControl Workbook and The Anger ManagementSourcebook identify some typical, unfair andinaccurate beliefs and resulting trigger thoughtseducators might have:

~ Assuming~ Feelings passed on as facts~ Abusive labeling~ Personalizing~ Unfavorable comparisons~ Regrets

Potential Triggers

Unfair and unrealistic expectations that result inchildren disappointing adults

When children directly ignore, disrespect or defyadults

When children do not appreciate adult’s needs Displaced or misdirected anger that has its basis in

something separate from children’s behavior Inabilities or deficiencies with regard to being able to

use effective skills for limit setting and disciplining

Expectations

Unfair, unreasonable expectations often are theresult of having little, no or inaccurate informationabout children.

Adults need to have knowledge and consider thefollowing:~ Children’s typical growth and development patterns

~ Children’s needs (moral, relational, social, physical, intellectual, emotional, spiritual)~ Temperament, learning styles and other aspects of uniqueness~ Maturity levels~ Situational factors

When Anger Involves a Child

Whenever an anger situation involves a child thereare additional critical potentials, dynamics andconsiderations to factor into the response including:

~ Overall emotional health of child~ Impact of memories around anger stored in child’s brain~ Overall significance of the adult relationship in child’s life~ Way anger Is handled in the family or classroom~ The age and stage of the child~ The temperamental blueprint of the child~ Child’s maturity levels~ Various situational factors

Effects of Anger on ChildDevelopment Authors of When Anger Hurts Your Child found the

following to be true:

~ Children of angry adults are more aggressive and noncompliant.~ Children of angry adults are less empathetic.~ Children of angry adults have poor overall adjustment.~ There is a strong relationship between parental anger and delinquency.~ The effects of parental anger can continue to impactthe adult child.

Typical Behaviors of One Year Old

One year olds tend to be:

• Be highly egocentric• Be unable to appreciate needs, feelings, perspectives of others• Be insistent on doing things their way• Grab for anything they want• Be unwilling to share• Get quickly and intensely frustrated• Be intent on developing their autonomy: they push to do what they want to do when they want to in whatever ways they want• Be experiencing ebbs and flows of stranger and separation anxiety

Typical Behaviors of Two Year Old Two year olds tend to be:

• Be more mobile than younger children• Be better able to express themselves verbally, better at making needs and desires known• Greatly desire sameness• Have trouble-making decisions• Often ask “Why” when spoken to or given a direction• Operate from a high degree of intensity: are unable to easily modulate• Have poor emotional, physical, vocal self-control• Explore more by taste, touch and smell• Not be big on sharing or being empathetic

Typical Behaviors of 2 ½ Year Old Two and one-half year olds tend to be:

• Be demanding, intense, impulsive, easily frustrated• Be prone to temper tantrums when frustrated• Attempt to manipulate to get own way• Pit one adult against the other• Whine, hit, kick, punch to get what they want (note: not considered true aggressiveness, rather acting out strong drives to obtain desires)• Be bossy and demanding (note: not considered true aggressiveness, rather acting out strong drives to obtain desires because children are unsure of themselves and have little power)

Typical Behaviors of Three YearOld

Three year olds tend to be:

• Be much less selfish, much less needing to be independent• Express a desire for “we-ness”• Want to be helpful• Share at times• When angry or frustrated, become physical• Be unable to differentiate between fantasy and reality• Have imaginary companions

Typical Behaviors of 3 ½ Year Old Three and one-half year olds tend to be:

• Return to autonomy struggles• Have an increase assertiveness and determination• Be emotionally insecure as recognizes separateness from others• Provide intense conflict (seems inevitable)• Stutter, stumble, suck their thumbs and express new fears• Attempt to dominate and order adults around as away to overcome fears and insecurity

Typical Behaviors of Four Year Old Four year olds tend to be:

• Be known for being out of bounds• Hit, kick and spit if upset• Try to run away from home if not happy• Express feelings in extremes• Be extremely volatile emotions• Exaggerate, boast and swagger• Enjoy using vulgar words and enjoy watching adult reactions• Struggle to distinguish fact from fantasy• Be able to lie to avoid punishment• Think possession means ownership• Challenge authority and test limits of independence• Obey rules out of fear of punishment (do not understand morality)• Be aggressive with siblings• Feel safer with clear boundaries and limits

Typical Behaviors of Five Year Old Five year olds tend to be:

• Work hard at being good• Make their Mothers the center of their world• Be quieter• Be more interested in what is familiar than exploring new and strange adventures• Feel more secure, more serious, few worries

Typical Behaviors of 5 ½ Year Old Five and one-half year olds tend to be:

• Re-experience autonomy issues• Be brash, combative and defiant• Dawdle to defy adults• Tantrum and sulk• Complain of headaches, colds and stomach aches• Need and request reassurance (“Do you love me?”)

Typical Behaviors of Six Year Old Six year olds tend to be:• Be highly ambivalent• Frequently have change of mind about small things• Struggle with making decisions about big things• Once decisions are made, struggle to change• Be close and very ambivalent toward mother (anything that goes wrongis mother’s fault)• Feel anxious about desires for independence• Have desperate desire to control world, be the best, the first, have themost• Be unable to bear to lose any competition• Constantly need to be noticed• Be very sensitive to criticism• Cry easily when physically or emotionally hurt• Be fresh, disrespectful, oppositional, violent and loud• Simultaneously be insecure, asking, “Do you still love me even though I have been bad?”• Often be bossy, with siblings, are argumentative, will tease, bully,frighten, torment, get angry and hit

Typical Behaviors of Seven Year Old Seven year olds tend to be:• Persevere: will not willingly let go of a task or situation until it is completely done or someone stops them• Have unrealistic high expectations• Need to be perfect and are ashamed of mistakes• Be in an age of withdrawal, pull in, calm down, discover who is inside• Be thoughtful observers• Worry about everything (being late for school, possibility of war, someone dying, the dark)• Assume people are mean and unfriendly• Believe others are better liked than they are• Frown a lot• Be easily embarrassed about crying• Be easily disappointed, pout a lot

Typical Behaviors of Eight Year Old Eight year olds tend to be:

• Do everything at a high rate of speed• Be outgoing• Like attention• Be very interested in other people’s business• See relationships with friends and family as important• Have an intense desire for mother’s attention and highly possessive• Be highly judgmental of people, especially themselves• Be highly aware of own failures• Be quarrelsome and aggressive, particularly with mother• Have their feelings easily hurt• Be sensitive to being judged by others

Typical Behaviors of Nine Year Old Nine year olds tend to be:• Be resentful of mother’s presence• Be highly preoccupied with own activities and tune out people talking to them• React negatively to demands for neatness and cleanliness• Resent directions, rebel against adult’s authority by looking through them and complaining or actively resisting• Be self-starters wanting to do things in their own way, at their own pace, in their own direction• Take selves very seriously• Have wide mood swings with unpredictable emotional responses• Worry and complain especially about what they perceive is fair and unfair• Have many individual differences with regard to behaviors, needs, preferences and abilities

Typical Behaviors of Ten Year Old

• Be in a calm, more accommodating phase however as childrenmove into pre-adolescent and adolescent behaviors, adultsexperience a myriad of challenging behaviors, typical of each newphase of growth and development

• Be amiable, relatively relaxed time of child. Assimilates,consolidates and balances his or her newly gained skills andabilities.

• Be frank, unselfconscious, accepts life and the world as they arewith free and easy give and take

• Be in a time of developmental balance• Be fond of home and loyal to it• Be closely attached to family• Hold their mother with special prestige• Get along well with father• Be very nurturing towards younger siblings, even pets• Be fond of friends

Ten year olds tend to:

Typical Behaviors of Ten Year Old(cont’d)

• Like to be in groups, clubs, gang• Tolerant rather than exclusive as to membership of these groups• Like school, likes to learn and accepts a reasonable amount of

homework without resentment• Love to talk, good at memorizing• Delights in physical activities - sliding, running, climbing, jumping• Have strong moral sense of right and wrong - emphasis on finding

out what is wrong• Have a matter-of-fact attitude about philosophical issues - life,

death, deity, time, or space issues• Not be self-centered but becoming aware of a conscience• Be relaxed, casual (was intense and striving)• Be less channeled, more easy-going, eclectic, less ambiguous

Ten year olds tend to:

Typical Behaviors of 11 Year Old

Mark beginning of adolescence with emergence of new patterns and newintensities

Be restive, investigative, talkative Wiggles a lot (not because ill at ease, but wants to be on the go) Be increasingly hungry - has appetite for experience as well as food Be self-assertive, unaware often called “rude and difficult”. Be impulsive, moody Need emotions to undergo growth and organization since he or she is at the

beginning of adolescence Have peaks of intensity - can fly into a rage - burst of laughter - ripples of

moods Swoop into a room uttering threats Have new behaviors reflect the immaturity of new emotional developments – there is a quality of innocence and naiveté about his high emotionality Feel too hot or too cold as even body gets unstable Fluctuate between extremes Fatigue readily

11-year olds tend to:

Typical Behaviors of 11-Year Old(cont’d) Be exuberant Be outgoing and friendly Be often at best behavior when away from home Still have a strong attachment to home Be insistent with interruptions Quarrel with siblings Rebel against parents Resist imposed tasks Not like teachers to yell Show great concentration when working competitively with one

group against another Be a concrete and specific thinking Be eclectic rather than reflective Be highly curious Be unaware of how others see him



Have many changes for the better Be less insistent, more reasonable, more companionable. Rely less on forthright pressures and challenges to realize his or her

selfhood Want to win approval from others Be more objective Growing in their sense of humor, more cheerful sociability Be excellent conversational company Show a tendency to widen his or her awareness. Be friendly, out-going, cooperative, ready to please, spontaneous,

positive and enthusiastic Be less impulsive, less voluble Be more guarded and self-critical Have become less naive in social relationships Get along better with all his or her associates Increase tact in caring for younger siblings Not want to be seen as a “baby” - works at trying to be grown-up


Typical Behaviors of 12-Year Old(cont’d)

Have peer group play a pervasive role in shaping attitudes and interests Like to be taught Respond to warm admiration for firm, well-informed teacher who has

sense of humor Work independently, but desire for group activity is more apparent Seize opportunities for discussion to debate political and civic issues Increase in conceptual thinking, in abstracts Have a genuine feeling for reasonableness Have a realistic vs. idealistic ethical sense, with attitude for tolerance Be enthusiasm, initiative (example: might start own newspaper) Be empathy - interest in how others are feeling Have self insight Have better self-control Have tears and violence usually kept in check Accept discipline Atone for guilt felt



Not be as open and communicative Lapse into spells of silence Be more introspective at home Respond with intense interest to assignments and discussions at school Have great capacity to acquire knowledge through reading, listening,

looking Be occasionally moody Be more adaptable and dependable Make detailed criticisms of parents Seem to withdraw from family circle Be in a time of self-absorption and rumination during which he or she

releases and reviews variation of inner feelings, tensions and attitudes Not be in a morbid escape from reality but a time to process and digest

the world Suddenly detach and get serious



Clarify and organize experiences by inward rehearsals and self-examination

Be conscious of increasing “will power” Be less spontaneous Be highly reflective Hesitate with a self-protective guardedness Be more self-critical Not like to cry publicly but may cry in his or her room Take new pleasure in rational thought - states propositions and raises

doubts, thinks in terms of necessity, probability and hypotheticalconditions

Become aware of reasoning powers as operations of the mind at his orher command

Be more self-aware - may express annoyance with self, “I don’t want tofeel this way”.



Use words when angry Increase capacity to feel sadness Be shy with strangers Be very sensitive to criticism and keenly perceptive of the emotional

state of other persons Enjoy matching wits with a cooperative adult Be really into processing and experimenting with the whole vast field of

interpersonal relations Be in the most exacting tests are at home - trouble with siblings

between ages six to eleven on verbal or physical plane Withdraw from close confidential relationship with parents Have girls be very critical of mother, especially on fine details - dress,

clothes, make-up Be more discriminating about companions, has fewer friends Be contemptuous of “kid stuff” of 12’s Harbor some independence and internal resistance to authoritarian

principles as a member of the school group Need a lot of sympathetic understanding


Typical Behaviors of 14-Year Old

Be robust, vigorous expressive Have more laughter, noise Be less withdrawal Have a new sense of contentment and relaxation Have parents remark often that they are aware of a big change Have completed some integration tasks and is now more in balance, is

better oriented both to himself or herself and to his or her interpersonalenvironment

Feel he or she is coming into his or her own - has a new self-assurancedespite pressures of mounting energy

Enjoy life Be Friendly and outgoing, unconstrained and cordially cooperative Be frank and communicative but self-contained rather than confiding Have more mature attitude towards adults in general See household as an institution, less of “family” Have a tendency to feel highly embarrassed by parental conduct, yet

family circle has become more genial and less tense Have disagreements that are less tight and insistent, more mutual

respect and confidence based on increased understanding



Perceive how others feel and can see self as others see him or her Get along well with younger siblings (although is not so amicable with

eleven year olds) Be interested in people and aware of personality differences - likes

concept of “personality” but now more objective Be gregarious, prefers a variety of associates Be tolerant of differences in people Is anxious to be popular Have high interest in being member of formal clubs, teams Be temperamental and sex differences come increasingly into evidence Be eager, tireless communication at all hours of day or night among girls Have a sense of humor Talk which is preferred activity - “instinctive amateur form of applied

psychology” - analyzing, confessing, denying, disputing Be alive, energetic, exuberant, expansive



Not be essentially impulsive, however, tries to be realistic and objectivein judgments

Look at both sides of an issue Like to reason, capable of independent thinking Show verbal comprehension and word fluency maturation to 4/5’s adult

level Have a budding awareness of ideals, exuberant inclination to reason Basically be happy and self-reliant but capable of self-criticism because

of new and fresh powers of reasoning Be a pivotal year in the grand cycle of growth - the formative years of

11,12, and 13 seen in better perspective and long-range plans can beconsidered

Be exuberant, energetic but reasonable, a fair measure of wisdom andphilosophy, often expressed in wit and humor

Have a rising capacity to think logically and proportionally



Have so many facets and phases - at times a muddled and therefore,difficult age to describe

Be a gradual shift from traits of 14 Be seen as indifferent Speak with a soft voice Be seen as lazy or tired; energies are so frugal sometimes Have lessened interest in food, even sweets Be thoughtful, serious, quiet Have some who may be more withdrawn, slow-to-warm, unwilling to

reveal self Have some who work to be sure to accurately state thoughts and ideas Have respect for spoken word Have focused attention to details of thought and feeling Be more piecemeal and fragmentary Be a stickler for precision, at times, a perfectionist Have quieter moods - economy of personality development



Be in a very vulnerable maturity zone - a 15 year old is capable ofharboring feelings of grudge, revenge and violence Increasing self-awareness and perceptiveness

Have a rising spirit of independence Have loyalty but adjustments to groups of home, school and community Need to reconcile these as a developmental task (home, school and

community) Virtually secede from family - omit or skimp greetings, keep to

themselves, resist restraints and restrictions, are reasonable. Vent belligerence by suddenly leaving defiantly - immature self-

assertion taken very seriously by child. Take lots of imaginary trips Be gregarious with groups, likes gatherings, will follow a crowd, enjoys

spontaneous informal groupings Not sit with family at family functions



Note more seriously and analytically the personality trait of parents Have extremes in reaction to school - love or hate Have patterns of resistance and acceptance Possibly be in “15 year old slump”; a limited period of discouragement

based on confused self-criticism Be striving to clarify thoughts and define feelings all at once Allow tasks that are too hard to send him into temporary slump Have some very positive times - school life - outlet to loosen

subservience to home Be sensitive to own limitations Be prone to become confused about his potentials and responsibilities Crave guidance and interpretive counseling outside home Be in an overall very complex age



Have a more self-possessed mind because it is more ordered andunder better control

Have greater self-reliance Have deeper self-containment Have wholesome self-assurance Have a striving spirit of independence, 16 achieves a sense of

independence Have a “Don’t worry about me” attitude Be more tolerant of world, takes life as it comes Be interested in people-- likes to build up multiple friendships -

much companionship on a non-romantic basis Likes to meet friends in own home Have relationships in family improve - fewer arguments Have relationship with siblings be satisfactory Like to banter and enjoys laughter - teasing is good natured



Get summer job or attend special camp - separate from home Be more solidly oriented towards the future-- plans for college, can talk

Re: marriage in serious vein Have maturity traits more favorably balanced and ballasted, more

resistance to totalitarian and mob influence Be less engrossed with self-awareness Be less impulsive Have emotions pretty well in hand Cover up hurt feelings Not indulge unduly in moods Seldom cry Curb anger Be cheerful, friendly, outgoing, well-adjusted Be interested in human nature Increase powers of judgment Be more willing to see another’s point of view now that self-awareness

is diminished


Learning About Anger Benefits of learning about anger and employing

effective coping strategies include:

~ Becoming calmer when interacting with children~ Becoming better able to promote emotional andrelational health~ Being less afraid of children’s anger~ Having less need to be as angry~ Being less likely to do damage when angry~ Being appreciative of underlying issues of anger~ Being less afraid of own anger~ Being better able to break destructive family legacies

Learning About Anger Benefits of learning about anger and employing

effective coping strategies include:

~ Being able to model coping with anger in healthy ways~ Feeling more prepared to cope with own anger andanger of children~ Feeling more in charge and confident~ Decreased stress in family~ Children feel safer~ Children have higher, healthier levels of self-esteem~ Children are less afraid of adults~ Anger is no longer a manipulative tool

Anger Tree

Rain Clouds: representthe behaviors of othersthat can “precipitate” anangry response

Anger Tree Roots represent underlying

feelings, needs, issues that cancause a person to become angry.

Trunk represents anger with twodimensions. One dimensiondescribes various degrees ofanger and the other provideswords that describe how angercan be expressed.

Branches represent the feelings aperson expressing anger canexperience as a result of havingexpressed the anger feelings.

Anger Tree Fruit represents the impact anger can

have on others.

Seedlings represent the long-termimpact of what occurs as a resultof the existence of the Anger Tree.

Seedlings may also represent thechildren on the receiving end ofanger.

Creating an Anger Tree Provides:

Visual, auditory and kinesthetic approaches to presentingfundamental information regarding anger

A classroom tool that can be used to analyze and discuss angersituations that arise

Ways to teach others more about feelings Ways to help others be more empathetic, to recognize feelings

more easily and be better prepared to respond in healthy ways Encouragement for others to be more aware, self-controlled, and

responsible when managing their feelings

Expanding the Anger Tree

Educators can use the list of root feelings and issuesand can give examples of possible distortions andtrigger thoughts each might produce. For each itemon the roots list, participants can generate specificstatements that reflect the feeling or issue.

Educators might reverse the process and matchexamples of distortions and their trigger thoughtswith the feelings and issues behind them.

“Think About” Homework Educators are invited to keep the following in mind based

on information in this course: How you might explain, demonstrate and otherwiseengage others in learning about brain development, theimpact of anger and to better understand what healthy angerexpression looks likes. How you might help others discover ways to modify andcorrect distorted thinking. How you might use the Anger Tree with children. Ways you might apply information about brain growth anddevelopment, brain states and how each might be impactedwhen children are exposed to anger.

Anger, Aggression and Violence: An Interdisciplinary Approach. PaulR. Robbins, 2000.

Anger Disorders: Definition, Diagnosis and Treatment. HowardKassinove, 1995.

Anger: The Misunderstood Emotion. Carol Tavris, 1982. Child Behavior: The Classic Childcare Manual from the Gesell

Institute of Human Development, Frances L. Ilg, Louise B. Ames,Sidney Baker, 1992.

Emotional Intelligence. Daniel Goleman, 2006. Ghosts From the Nursery. Robin Karr-Morse and Meredith S. Wiley,

1997. Pick Up Your Socks…and Other Skills Growing Children Need.

Elizabeth Crary and Pati Casebolt, 1990. Secrets of the Teenage Brain: Research-Based Strategies for

Reaching and Teaching Today’s Adolescents. Sheryl Fienstein,Publisher: The Brain Store, May 2004.

Recommended Reading

Recommended Reading The Anger Control Workbook. Matthew McKay, Ph.D. and Peter

Rogers, Ph.D., 2003. The Anger Management Sourcebook. Glenn R. Schiraldi, Ph.D.

and Melissa Hallmark Kerr, Ph.D., 2002. The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog: And Other Stories from A

Child Psychiatrist’s Notebook: What Traumatized Children CanTeach Us About Loss, Love and Healing. Bruce Perry, M.D.,Ph.D., Mara Szalvitz, 2007. The Journal of Family Psychology.American Psychological Association, Inc., June 1998, Volume 12,Number 2, Smith, Amy M., and O’Leary, Susan G., entitled “TheEffects of Maternal Attribution on Parenting: An ExperimentalAnalysis”, pp. 234-243

Recommended Reading When Anger Hurts Your Kids: A Parent’s Guide. Matthew McKay,

Ph.D., Patrick Fanning, Kim Paleg, Ph.D., and Dana Landis,1997.

Why Do They Act That Way? A Survival Guide to the AdolescentBrain. David Walsh and Nat Bennett, 2005.

Websites:– www.childtrauma.org. Dr. Bruce D. Perry, M.D., Ph.D.,

June 2006. “Violence and Childhood: How PersistingFear Can Alter the Developing Child’s Brain.”

– www.stophitting.com, www.corpun.com,www.neverhitachild.org/straus.html, and www.nospank.net

this is your brain on anger - educatored.com · responses to those emotions. ... the less they are...

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