the river journal march 2011

Because there’s more to life than bad news

A News MAGAZINE Worth Wading Through

Casinos... the view from the other side

March | FREE | www.RiverJournal.com

Local New

s • Environment • W

ildlife • Opinion • People • Entertainm

ent • Hum

or • Politics

Plus a look at the relationship between unions and the free market

Need reliable, high-speed Internet service? Call for a free site survey today! Intermax serves many areas of Bonner

County from Dover to Hope.

208.762.8065 - Coeur d’Alene208.265.3533 - Sandpointwww.IntermaxNetworks.com

Internet....

Everywhere

Life is Unpredictable

So we’re here to help. Won’t you help, too?

Consider making a tax-deductible donation today. Angels Over Sandpoint is an Idaho 501(c)3 corporation.

P.O. Box 2369 Sandpoint, ID 83864 • 208-597-3670 • www.AngelsOverSandpoint.org

ANGELS OVER SANDPOINT

THE RIVER JOURNALA News Magazine Worth

Wading Through~just going with the flow~

P.O. Box 151•Clark Fork, ID 83811www.RiverJournal.com•208.255.6957

SALESCall 208.255.6957 or email [email protected]

PRESS RELEASES(Email only) to [email protected]

STAFFCalm Center of Tranquility

Trish [email protected]

Ministry of Truth and Propaganda

Jody [email protected]

Regular ContributorsDesire Aguirre; Scott Clawson; Sandy Compton; Marylyn Cork; Dick Cvitanich; Idaho Rep. George Eskridge; Lawrence Fury; Dustin Gannon; Matt Haag; Ernie Hawks; Lt. Cary Kelly; Marianne Love; Kathy Osborne; Gary Payton; Boots Reynolds; Sandpoint Wellness Council; Lou Springer; Mike Turnlund; Michael White

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not

an act, but a habit.” Aristotle

Proudly printed at Griffin Publishing in Spokane, Wash. 509.534.3625

Contents of the River Journal are copyright 2011. Reproduction of any material, including original artwork and advertising, is prohibited. The River Journal is published the first week of each month and is distributed in over 16 communities in Sanders County, Montana, and Bonner, Boundary and Kootenai counties in Idaho. The River Journal is printed on 40 percent recycled paper with soy-based ink. We appreciate your efforts to recycle.

March 20112 What’s in that chicken you had for dinner?

4 Mark Twain in Montana

5 Behind the Pit Boss - working in casinos

6 Government 101

8 News Briefs

10 Unions and the free market

11 Winter’s minor mysteries (Currents)

12 The American coot (Bird in Hand)

13 Developing hunting seasons (Game Trail)

14 There’s an app for that! (Love Notes)

16 A challenging session (A Seat in the House)

17 Arguing with a crazy conservative (Politically Incorrect)

18 When disability meets retirement (Veterans’ News)

19 What’s the point of all the vitriol? (Scenic Route)

20 Health Care reform - Infant mortality

22 On prayer (Faith Walk)

23 Always a little brother (Hawk’s Nest)

24 Mysterious voices (Valley of Shadows)

25 The Deciderer (Surrealist Research Bureau)

26 Obituaries

27 Which corner is hiding Spring? (Mouth of the River)

28 March Madness (Scott Clawson)

Inside

Internet....

Everywhere

206 N. 2nd Avenue • Sandpoint

208.691.5817

For tattoos that are more than just ink on skin

Cover photo by William Picard

Page � | The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. �0 No. 3| March �011

If you’re one of the many Americans looking to eat healthier, then chicken is probably

a staple in your diet. Considered to be chock full of some essential nutrients, while also containing less fat than other meat-based sources of protein, roasted, skinless chicken breast is a healthy eater’s dream.

Or is it?Most people have heard

the warnings about the need to wash utensils and countertops where raw chicken has been before using the same for other food. Fewer really understand why.

The why is salmonella, a bacteria that can cause salmonellosis, a potentially fatal disease. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimates that more than a million people each year contract salmonella poisoning, with 25,000 becoming sick enough to seek hospital treatment. Five hundred will die.

Or maybe the ‘why’ is campylobacter, which the CDC estimates poisons around 2.4 million people every year. Although more prevalent than salmonella, it is also less deadly; the estimate is that only 124 will die from ingesting this bacteria. The bloody diarrhea, nausea, vomiting, abdominal pain and fever it causes, while better than death, is something most people will want to avoid.

The why could even be E coli. Yes, it’s not just for hamburger and raw

cookie dough anymore. Escherichia coli 0157:H7 does not grow in the gut of chickens, as the previous

two bacteria do. Instead, chickens become contaminated when

exposed to feces containing the bacteria.

E coli is considered to be the cause of most

enterobacterial infections in the U.S., and it’s estimated you will suffer one of these infections, on average, one and a half times every year.

A 2009 study by Consumer Reports showed that two-thirds of birds they

purchased in grocery stores in 22 states harbored either salmonella or camplyobacter. Catching recent attention is a study in Canada, where two-thirds of the supermarket chicken purchased not only harbored bacteria, but the bacteria were all resistant to at least one antibiotic, and some were resistant to as many as eight different antibiotics. Surprisingly, the

Consumer Reports study showed much the same.

These are not the type of bacteria a sane person wants to ingest.And that organic label isn’t

necessarily the protection you might think it is. Consumer Reports testing revealed that purchasing organic chicken from the supermarket was not, in terms of bacteria, necessarily

better. Only 47 percent of the name brand organic chicken

tested clean, while Perdue brand chicken came out the best, with

56 percent testing clean. (You can read the report here: http://tinyurl.com/

by Trish Gannon

Just how healthy IS that chicken you’re eating? And what can you do about it?

Science writer, world traveler, author of The Wolverine Way:

Doug Chadwickspeaks on his favorite mustelid.

Sandpoint. March 17. 6 pm Pacific. East Bonner County LibraryTrout Creek. March 18. 7 pm Mountain.Trout Creek School

Troy. March 19. 5 pm Mountain. The Hot Club.

ww

w.sc

otch

man

peak

s.org

Admission is free, but please bring nonperishable food items for the local food bank.

Page � | The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. �0 No. 3| March �011 March �011| The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. �0 No. 3| Page 3

yddavrt.) One thing to look for? According to the report, air chilled broilers are a better bet. “These broilers are subjected to cold air, and sometimes mist, to inhibit microbial growth,” they wrote. “As a group, the 32 air-chilled birds we analyzed, all of them also organic, proved especially clean.”

So what’s a nervous chicken-eater to do?Locally, there are several places that

sell organic, free-range or organic and free range chickens. No matter where you live, your best bet is to check with your local farmer’s market, or farmer’s market website, to find vendors providing the type of meat you prefer. (Organic chicken generally means chicken raised without antibiotics or medicinally-laced feed. Free range chicken refers to chicken allowed to roam freely

instead of being penned closely together, and may or may not qualify as ‘organic.’)

Although not ‘local’ for all of our readership, for years I have heard glowing praise for Rich and Jessica Royal’s ‘beyond organic’ chickens.

The Royals are in Thompson Falls, Mont. and raise Cornish Cross hens—around 350 of them for the discriminating buyer. These hens are raised inside for two to three weeks, then outside penned on grass for another five to six weeks. They are fed only fresh, organic feed. You can reach the Royals at 406-827-4285; the pre-ordered chickens must be picked up the day they’re processed.

Those willing to put a little more effort into their food—particularly the chicken part of their diet—might consider growing their own. Despite the current cold temperatures and falling snow, spring really is around the corner, and growing chicks into meat birds might be easier, and take less time, than you think. Certain breeds of birds are ready for butchering in just eight weeks.

I talked with Kathy Osborne at the Ponderay Co-Op about raising chickens. She’s an old hand at it, having grown up in the area with chickens in the back yard, and she continues that rural tradition today by maintaining her own flock. Kathy is quite knowledgeable about chickens, as are a number of the Co-Op staff; they are a great resource should you choose to go this route. Or, if you’re not close to Ponderay, go in and meet the employees at your own local farm and garden store; it’s likely they can give you more information than you thought you wanted.

“Do some research,” Kathy said, “to determine what breed of chicken you want to buy.” Various types of chicken have been bred for specific characteristics, and if your only purpose is to obtain meat, then you want a bird that puts more of its growth energy into creating meat than into creating eggs.

For most meat chickens, you’re not really looking at a breed but at a hybrid. These chickens put so much energy into making meat they can literally eat themselves to death. Let these chickens live much beyond six weeks and their legs, unable to carry their own weight, will break.

If you don’t like that thought, you’d probably prefer a heritage chicken; if so, you really need to talk to your supplier. Not only will these chicks need to be special ordered,

they will take longer to reach maturity, requiring a greater time investment to raise.

Regardless of which breed of chicken you buy, you’re going to need to provide the same basics: heated shelter, food, and fresh water.

Your first step into becoming a backyard ‘farmer’ is to check your local ordinances to see if poultry are prohibited within your given city limits.

Shelter requirements are not huge: you can easily raise 25 chicks to butcher weight in a garage (minus vehicles) or small outbuilding or even an enclosed porch area (some people even do so in other rooms of their house) but there are some simple basics that are required.

First, choose an area that can be easily cleaned. Kathy recommends laying down large sheets of cardboard or a tarp on your given surface, and covering with pine shavings for bedding.

Your new coop needs to come equipped

with an electrical outlet as an important requirement for baby chicks is heat, and lots of it. A heat lamp over their ‘nesting’ area will help keep things at a toasty 95 degrees, which will allow the chicks to grow and thrive. This heat can be reduced, by raising the lamp, once the chicks get their second feathers, but any good chick raising area is likely going to end up being the warmest part of your house.

With your chicks safe and warm, your main role is going to be supplying plenty of food and fresh water. The way chicks turn into a plump, roasted bird in the oven is through plenty of food: chicks can eat a lot!

And for the most part, that’s it. Feed, water and watch your chicks grow and, when they reach butcher weight, send them off to a professional. (Mary Taylor does this locally, by appointment only. You can call her at 208-263-4725.) To be truthful, it’s not ‘difficult’ to butcher a chicken, but this is not something you want to try right off the bat. Before taking on this chore, work with someone experienced at doing so.

What should be obvious by now from reading this is that you don’t raise your own chickens to save money. The CAFO (concentrated animal feeding operation) conditions that contribute to bacterial contamination of the chicken in stores also make that chicken incredibly inexpensive to buy. When you eat a chicken you’ve raised yourself, the money invested in that chicken will easily be double or triple the money spent on a store-bought chicken.

Although prices vary by store and by breed, each chick you purchase will cost around $2.50. It will cost that much again to have the chicken butchered. Figure about nine bags of chick starter for 25 chickens; prices range around $17 for a 50-pound bag. Add in bedding and by the way... plan that not all your chicks will live to butcher weight. Growth for hybrid meat birds is so fast that generally some will keel over from a heart attack before they make it to 7 weeks.

You’re also going to have to purchase supplies though, if you continue to raise chickens for meat, that cost can be spread out over the years. Plan on one or two heat lamps with reflective shields, light bulbs, a large waterer and a large feeder, a thermometer to make sure you’re keeping the temperature at the right level, and whatever materials you

use to construct your ‘coop.’Cost aside, however, it’s hard to find

someone who raises poultry who does’t love it. Andrea Levora, whose chicken “Cocky” illustrates this story, writes “We’ve raised meat chickens and often raise pigs—one lamb and love the fresh eggs from our chickens.

“I can definitely taste a profound difference in the food we raise versus the food we

purchase,” she added. “As such, it’s very difficult for me to buy meat in the store.”

... two-thirds of the supermarket chicken purchased not only harbored bacteria, but the bacteria were all resistant to at least one antibiotic, and some were resistant to as many as eight different antibiotics.


by Trish Gannon

Recreating Mark TwainMichael Delaney to bring his “Portrayal” to Heron

ou never know when you’ll meet your destiny. For Michael Delaney, with his full head of white hair and bushy moustache, it happened in a

car parts store in Hannibal, Missouri. “With a white suit and a cigar,” a man told him, “you could make a living in this town.”

Hannibal, of course, was the birthplace of Samuel Clemens, one of America’s most beloved writers and speakers under his pen name of Mark Twain.

“Time and gravity had given me the physical qualifications,” Delaney said, but the appreciation for Twain’s work had begun back in high school. “As a kid I had read Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn, and they were good stories,” he said. “But in a high school literature class we read Letters from the Earth and I’ve been fascinated by Twain ever since.”

The man in the car parts store was right in his prediction; Delaney ended up serving as Mark Twain not just for the Hannibal Historic District for two years, but as an independent speaker as well in the years since.

Okay, you know Mark Twain and Huckleberry Finn and maybe you have a slight memory of the Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s court. But really, who was Mark Twain anyway and why should anyone be interested in seeing someone portray this character?

Born in 1835 in Missouri, with Haley’s comet in the sky, Twain was the son of a judge and he started out his professional life as a printer’s apprentice and discovered he enjoyed writing. As a young man, however, he had a young man’s dreams; with no NBA or NFL to spur him on, he set his sights on becoming a riverboat captain, piloting mighty paddle-wheel steamers up and down the Mississippi River; a profession that gave him his well-known pen name. A “Mark Twain” means a boat can be navitated safely through the water, with at least two fathoms (12 feet) underneath it.

During the Civil War, he formed a short-lived militia, and traveled to Nevada to work as a miner. Soon enough, however, he was

back to work as a reporter, and began his climb to fame. In all, he would write 28 books, numerous short stories, and dozens of letters that would become a part of the Mark Twain canon.

By the 60s, Clemens was also in demand as a speaker, despite the stage fright that so

many of us are familiar with feeling if called upon to speak in public. He wrote of his first experience, “I thought of suicide, pretended illness, f light ... I was very miserable and scared.” That didn’t stop him from being a success, and he was much in demand for his speaking appearances for the rest of his life.

Twain remained a delight to Americans up until his death in 1910—with Haley’s Comet once again crossing the sky.

“As a man he is really difficult to describe,” said Delaney, who has spent years researching and studying the character he now portrays. “He was a most interesting character, but very volatile and unpredictable. [Twain] was one surprise after another.”

His popularity, Delaney believes, has to do with “his insight into the human existence. It is not only very perceptive, but timeless. Whatever is going on in the world today, 120 years ago he had something applicable to say.”

Brought to Heron under the sponsorship of the Grandview Museum, and the aegis of the Montana Speaker’s Bureau for the Humanities, Delaney will portray Mark Twain to a delighted audience on Saturday, April 2 at 7 pm MST at the Heron Community Center. While the doors will open at 7, by the way, don’t expect the event to be 100 percent true to Twain, whose advertisements for performances promised “The doors will open at 7 o’clock, and the trouble will begin at 8.”

The Sierra College Press reported on the ‘Wild West’ feel to some of Twain’s performances. “In the Grass Valley Daily Union

ad for his Grass Valley appearance, Twain promised that, after the lecture, he would perform a series of “wonderful feats of SLEIGHT OF HAND, if desired to do so.” His “wonderful feats” involved drinking multiple shots of whiskey, leaving town suddenly without paying his hotel bill, and, as he put it, to “at any hour of the night, after 10, … go through any house in the city, no matter how dark it may be, and take an inventory of its contents, and not miss any of the articles as the owner will in the morning.”

Performer Michael Delaney has no intention of taking his portrayal of Twain quite that far.

Consider this Heron performance, a presentation of Twain in Montana, to be a portrayal, by the way, and not an impersonation, as Delaney says that impersonators bring to mind a “fat guy in a gold lame suit” à la Elvis—not a good preview for what’s in store.

Of his own presentation, Delaney writes on the Humanities in Montana website, “In the early 1860s, en route from St. Joseph, Missouri to Carson City, Nevada, Mark Twain had breakfast with the notorious Virginia City desperado Bad Jack Slade. Fortunately, Slade was sober at the time, and Twain survived the interview. Some three decades later, Twain came through Montana again, lecturing in five cities. I present an amusing view of these historical events from Mark Twain’s unique perspective.”

The program is free and open to the public. Don’t miss it—it’s a rare opportunity to ‘meet’ Mark Twain.

MARK TWAIN

Page � | The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. �0 No. 3| March �011 March �011| The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. �0 No. 3| Page �

Casinos have never held any interest for me. I grew up in Reno where there are slot machines in grocery stores. But there’s money in those buildings, so I got a job as a Keno writer and worked my way up to dealing Blackjack and roulette. Normal people have no idea how boring the job can be, especially Blackjack (all you do is count up to 21, over and over, for 8 hours—it’s just mind numbing!). And you can’t escape from your customers no matter how much you want to. Plus, they’re frequently drunk, which doesn’t heighten their appeal.

Sometimes it can be fun, if you’re assigned to a pit near the live music, and if it’s any good. That can also be punishing, however. I still have nightmares about an all-Chinese, all-girl band called “Nancy Chen and the Shades of Jade” trying to sing Jambalaya phonetically. Scary stuff, that.

I don’t know if it’s still true, but dealers made more money than pit bosses back then. The only people who would accept jobs as bosses were people who wanted to look important or lazy people. I worked at one casino so desperate for bosses they made a rule that if you refused a promotion you were fired. No one cared—you just walked across the street and got a new job. Few people accepted their “promotions.”

One night I was scheduled to be the “check racker” on a roulette game. That’s an assistant dealer whose sole job is to pick up the chips (we call them checks) and put them in stacks of their proper color. They use them on very busy games to speed up the play (the more games played the more money the house will get). In roulette, checks are picked up in a special way that makes them go click, click, click and that’s thought to increase the enjoyment for the players. On this table, though, there was only one player, a filthy old man.

The dealer had a very strange look on her face so I whispered, “What’s going on?” She responded, “Watch the layout.” The layout is the felt covering on the tables. I could see nothing strange, so said again “What about it?” She said, “Little tiny bugs are hopping off that man and crawling halfway across the table and then turning and going back to him.” She was right! It was so gross! Immediately you start to itch and want to vigorously wash your hands. I asked why the bosses hadn’t made him leave and she said “He keeps pulling out $100 dollar bills from his pockets, so they won’t kick him out until it’s all gone.” And that’s just what happened. I had a thorough bath after work that night.

We shared our tips (we called them tokes)

and that bothered some customers. The problem with “going for your own,” though, is that you create an argument about who gets which table. Obviously tokes will be better on a “high limit” game (minimum bet $500 or more) than on a low limit or dollar game. So then you have to ingratiate yourself to the “pencil man” who makes out the daily schedule. I wasn’t interested in falling to the level one might have to sink to please the

pencil man enough to get the good games. Also, after a suicide-inducing night on a dollar game, you knew you’d at least get some decent tokes and that would help alleviate some of the pain.

Once on day shift I was standing on a dead high-limit game. A “dead game” is a table with no players. Some places hire “shills” (usually pretty young women) who gamble with house money to encourage others to join in, but we didn’t have any shills around. A customer known to be very rich and very generous to dealers approached my game. I told him to choose another table because I was running very hot. But he had a few minutes to kill while he waited for his family to arrive for lunch, so he sat down. He was playing three hands, $1,000 each. In ten minutes I took him for over $17,000. Drove me bats! (I had just purchased my very first house for $17,000, which was a HUGE amount of money in MY world). As he left, laughing, he said, “You really are running hot!”

I had some really horrible customers one night and was whining to a really righteous old-school pit boss. Told him I just wanted to leap over the table and strangle them to death. He laughed and said one time in Las Vegas he’d had enough and just put down the deck, walked around the table and punched the customer. Knocked him right out of his chair. I laughed delightedly and said, “What happened to you?” He said he’d been blackballed from all the clubs for a year. I asked, “Was it worth it?” He broke out in the sweetest smile and said, “Yep.” I made it through the night floating on that smile, imagining the thrill of that one, well-deserved punch.

Your primary job as a dealer is to “protect your game.” If someone cheats on your game and you don’t catch them, you’re assumed to be a partner and you’re immediately fired. Most cheaters sit on the far ends of the table (1st and 3rd base) because they have

a better chance of evading your peripheral vision. Players can “pinch or press” bets after they’ve seen their hand. That means adding to or taking away from their bets after the hand is dealt.

I usually memorized the bets of 1st and 3rd bases every hand, so I’d know if they had changed later. When in doubt, I’d “mark their bet.” If they bet 7 chips, I’d move 7 quarters to a different tube in my money tray. If the

bet had changed, I could tell the pit boss that the player had cheated and I’d “marked his bet” as proof. The most fun I ever had was with a magical player who was cheating this way. I told him I knew he was cheating,

and then tried to catch him at it. In an hour I never saw him do it, although because I’d marked the bets it was confirmed that they’d changed. When I left the table I went straight to the podium to report him, so he left the premises. But he was amazing!

Dealers tell each other (in code) which players are cheap (stiffs) and which toke well (Georges). For example, when leaving your game you’d say, “Third base is a George,” which alerts them to be especially nice to that one or, “Blue shirt is stiff,” so they’d do nothing to help that player.

For some reason, luck goes in streaks, so if you want a player to lose and they’re winning you can change up your shuffle or ask for a different deck of cards. Frequently that’s all that is needed to alter the outcome. Dealers’ luck goes in streaks, too, so if the house was trying to beat a specific player, bosses would go around asking “are you running hot?” and if you were, they’d put you in on that game to get the money back. I noticed I dealt hotter when I was drunk, so I’ve had bosses tell me to go next door on my break and have a couple of quick drinks so I could come back and beat some customer. True story. And it worked!

People always want to know the secrets to winning. I always responded that the secret was not to play. Automatic win! You still have your money! If forced to elaborate, I’d tell them that luck goes in streaks, so if you’re winning, let it ride. That means if you bet $1, leave your original dollar on the table and your winning dollar too. Next win it’s $4, then $8, then $16, and then $32. You’re only out $1 so far. Don’t chicken out! Let it ride. You really can win (or lose) 17 in a row. If you’re losing—LEAVE THE BUILDING. Don’t throw good money after bad. Come back some other day and always tip the dealer.

-by Cathy Bixler

Working in CasinosCathy shares the “Real Deal”

“... luck goes in streaks, so if you’re winning, let it ride.”


What’s GoingDON’T GET CAUGHT IN THE DARK!

The weather here is unpredictable,

and your connection to

power can be too. We can help you keep the lights

on. Call today to learn more.

We pay attention to detail1200 Triangle Drive

Ponderay

208.263.1258

Unless you’ve been hiding under a rock, you probably caught the news that the American public is somewhat discontented with government these days; that voters expressed their discontent in last November’s elections; and that this year’s crop of legislators are acting on what they believe is a ‘mandate for change’ to propose sweeping legislative reforms not only in the national Congress, but throughout the states as well.

If you live in Montana or Idaho, you’ve probably also noticed that your state has been getting some national press.

In Montana, the Missoulian (http://tinyurl.com/4olz52a ) has drawn attention to Rep. Bob Wagner’s (R-Hamilton) appearance with CNN’s Anderson Cooper regarding his ‘birther’ bill, a Slate.com story about state proposals for a return to the gold standard (where Wagner again made an appearance), and Salon.com’s piece (Tea Partyers Gone Wild) where Montana got special mention.

Idaho has also come in for its share of scrutiny, especially regarding State Superintendent of Public Instruction Tom Luna’s sweeping reform plans for public education in the state, although education issues in Idaho have been largely overshadowed by what’s going on in Wisconsin. Yet by the end of February, the Senate had voted to eliminate tenure for new teachers, and restrict what local teacher’s unions can bargain for in their contracts.

Nullification, unions, education, marijuana and wolves... each day seems to bring a new topic of debate and it can be hard to keep up.

But not impossible, especially if you’re comfortable using a computer.

Idaho makes it fairly easy. The state’s legislative website lists everything your legislators are considering in Boise today, and keeps you up-to-date on just where they all are in the process. This includes all 202 bills, 17 concurrent resolutions, two joint memorials, four proclamations and two resolutions in the House (the work of your representatives), along with 135 bills, 6 concurrent resolutions, two joint memorials, one joint resolution, one proclamation and one resolution from the Senate (your senators at work).

Okay, relatively easy. On the Idaho legislative website you can click on any bill or other piece of legislation and read the text of the bill, read a statement of purpose for the given legislation, and a statement of the fiscal impact of the same. The bills are organized for searching both by number and

by subject.Start at www.Legislature.Idaho.gov and

choose “bill center.”Montana’s legislative website is not quite

as user-friendly as the one for Idaho, but from www.Leg.Mt.gov you can choose ‘bills for the 2011 session’ and search for a particular bill by number, subject or primary sponsor and, if you don’t know any of that information, you can scroll down the page and select “List all introduced and unintroduced bills.” These are not ‘pretty’ pages and are slightly more difficult to search than the same in Idaho, but the information is still all there.

Montana lists 598 bills, 21 joint resolutions and one rules resolution in the House, plus 391 bills, 15 joint resolutions and two resolutions in the Senate.

Sheesh. And this is supposedly the result of our anti-government backlash.

Flashback to civics classes here. A bill is the first step in something becoming a law. Both houses of the legislature develop and vote on bills, but the other house must also vote in favor before the bill becomes law. A bill from the House will be designated H or HB followed by the bill number, and a bill from the Senate is S or SB and again, is followed by its number.

A resolution (HR, SR) is a formal motion. Non-binding resolutions are a way for politicians to express their opinion as a body on something they can’t otherwise vote on. Substantive resolutions apply to essential legal principles, while procedural resolutions, like they sound, deal with procedures for administration.

A joint resolution, (HJR, SJR) on the other hand, does, if passed by both houses, become law, unless vetoed by the Governor.

For all practical purposes, there is no difference between a joint resolution and a bill, as they both can end up becoming law if adopted.

A concurrent resolution (HCR, SCR) is one adopted by both chambers, but without the force of law.

So far we’ve defined the work of our legislators as making law, not making a law, making law, and not making a law. Are you confused yet?

A joint memorial is, again, a measure that must be adopted by both houses, and is used to make a request of, or a statement to, other legislative bodies of authority. For example, Idaho is currently considering House Joint Memorial 001 (HJM001), the purpose of which is “to affirm the Idaho Legislature’s support for the Parental Rights Amendment

Some Government 101


to the U.S. Constitution.”A proclamation is exactly what it sounds

like—an avenue for politicians to ‘proclaim’ something. Most of the time, it’s hard to understand why this is something that should take up any of the time of our legislators. Occasionally, however, the proclamation will have something to do with something you care about, and suddenly you understand.

Montana doesn’t appear to have bothered with any proclamations this session, but Idaho’s Senate has adopted a proclamation to commend Peace Corps volunteers. The Idaho House did the same, and then went further and commended former President Ronald Reagan, commended the town of Lewiston for reaching the ripe old age of 150, and recognized and celebrated the “75th Anniversary of the Sun Valley Resort and Sun Valley inductees Earl Holding and Muffy Davis for this year’s Ski Hall of Fame.”

Oh yeah.Given all this discussion of how our

legislatures do what they do, it’s probably worth mentioning the governor’s role; at least, his (and in Idaho and Montana, they both are ‘his’) role at the end of the process.

The Governor can sign the bill forwarded to him by the legislature, the final step in making it the official law of the land, or he can say no. This is where the veto comes in. And by the way, this is yet another story with a little Latin, as veto means “I forbid.”

In Montana, but not in Idaho, the Governor can amend the bill and send it back to the legislature for another vote.

In both states, the Governor can exercise

the line-item veto, striking out specific sections of a bill, or a full veto eliminating the whole thing. The legislature then has the right to override his veto; in Idaho, two-thirds of the legislature must vote to do so. In Montana, the requirement to override a gubenatorial veto requires a two-thirds

majority in both houses of the legislature.Of course, the legislature doesn’t just

pontificate on issues, pat people on the back and create, amend or delete laws; the other attention-getting part of their job this year has to do with setting budgets.

Unfortunately, the state operates much like any service worker out there who relies on tips to make a living: they have to budget how much money they’re planning to spend without having a clear idea of how much money will actually be available to spend. And they have to do it now, because the agencies they fund are also setting budgets. For most governmental agencies, their fiscal year (the time when their new budget takes effect) begins on July 1.

Budget committees have to do some pretty good guessing on how much money will be coming in; if they guess wrong, then down the road they have to let all those government agencies know they’re not going to get as much money as planned. When this happens, these amounts are generally referred to as holdbacks or clawbacks.

Both states are required by law to balance

their budgets. They can’t simply go into the red if their guesses are wrong.

The Idaho legislature likes to make its money guesses fairly conservatively; this year, their best guess is the state will receive $2.3 billion in funds from sales tax, income tax, fees and the like.

Montana has it a little (or a lot) tougher; by law, they only meet in odd-numbered years, so they must develop budgets for two years running. They are meeting currently to develop a budget not just for

July of this year (fiscal year 2012) but for July of rhe following year as well. They have gone into the process projecting that revenues will only cover 90 percent of what the budget currently covers.

Revenue projections are tricky things and, because they are ‘best guesses,’ are sources of deep controversy when it comes time to set budgets, especially when those numbers are falling. This legislative year provides ample examples of that.

In Montana, the controversy involves about $118 million dollars—the difference between what the governor believes will come in and what the most conservative members of the legislature believe will be the actual revenue.

Idaho’s budget estimates this year have bounced around like a Mexican jumping bean, beginning with the governor’s projection of a $35 million deficit in January and jumping to a $185 million shortfall in early February. The budget committee for the state finally settled on a $92 million shortfall late in February.

-Trish Gannon

“This is the theater of the absurd, and it is dangerous rhetoric,”

Gov. Brian Schweitzer of Montana, quoted in the New York Times

on in our State Houses?

Chemical Free Mineral Hot Pools • Rooms, Suites and Cabins available • Harwood House Fine Dining open 7 days a week for breakfast, lunch &

dinner • Quinn’s Tavern features live entertainment every Saturday night! • Bikini Bar • Wi-Fi • Parties • Conferences • Retreats • Gift Shop • Massage Service

WE HAVE THE CURE FOR CABIN FEVER! A romantic night in Glacier Lodge and dinner for two at Harwood House. Two adults, starting at $169.*

Paradise, Montanawww.quinnshotsprings.com

* Cabin Fever package available Sunday thru

Thursday in March and April. Some

blackout dates apply.

Make your reservations online at www.quinnshotsprings.com or call 406-826-3150


Grunberg Schloss Collector’s Cabinet210 C TRIANGLE DRIVE, PONDERAY • 208-263-7871• MON-FRI OR CALL FOR APPT

MORE THAN JUST A COIN DEALERBUYING & SELLING Coins & Paper Money • U.S. & Worldwide

Gold • Silver •Food quality storage containers • Coin collecting books & supplies Metal detectors • Prospecting supplies

Free Adult Basic Education classes are offered continuously from September through June at the Ponderay North Idaho College Center. If you are out of work or have some time available, it’s an opportunity to take concrete steps to improve your education and your employment prospects.

It’s not just about the GED. NIC/ABE offers no-cost instruction in math, reading, and writing to adults age 16 or over who are preparing for college, vocational training, the General Educational Development test, or any other goals requiring math and language skills.

Testing, enrollment, and classes are located at the NIC Ponderay Center at the Bonner Mall. You may call 263-2594 Ext 1 (10-5, Monday through Thursday) with questions and to schedule placement testing. All are welcome to stop by the NIC/ABE office at the Bonner Mall or to talk with Dave or Barbara about our free services.

The March 26 Kinnikinnick Native Plant Society presentation, co-sponsored by the City of Sandpoint Parks and Recreation Department, will feature Bob Boeh, Vice President of Idaho Forest Products. Bob will speak about Idaho Forest Group: Forest Management Practices by Private Industry. This event begins at 9:45 am in the Sandpoint Community Hall and is open to the public, free of charge.

Bob’s multi-media presentation will provide an overview of the operations of Idaho’s largest lumber producer (Idaho Forest Products) as well as a discussion of the forest management philosophy which Idaho Forest Products uses for the 62,000 acres of fee land it owns in Idaho, Washington and Montana.

Bob Boeh, VP of Government Affairs and Strategic Outreach for Idaho Forest Products, has a degree in forestry from University of Montana. He has worked extensively throughout the Pacific Northwest during his 40 year career.

For more information visit www.NativePlantSociety.org

Meetings … planning … organizing.Once again the Sanders County Relay For

Life Core Committee members are attending monthly meetings, and assigning tasks to their committee members for the upcoming Sanders County Relay For Life. It takes a lot of people, work, time, and commitment to pull off a Relay, but this nucleus of men and women gladly make the effort in pursuit of their ultimate goal: a cure for cancer.

This year’s Relay will be the twelfth held in Sanders County. In spite of the county’s small population and economic troubles, it is one of the more successful Relays in Montana. Each year new goals are set by the Core Committee, and, if the goals are not met, they are usually dang close. It’s a testament to the

dedication of the residents of Sanders County, and especially the Core Committee, team captains, team members, and everyone who donates in some way to the Relay.

The 2011 Sanders County Relay For Life will be held at the Sanders County Fairgrounds in Plains the first weekend in August. Beginning on Friday evening, August 5, at 6 pm and continuing until 10 am on Saturday, there will be special events, food, games, entertainment, companionship and fun. In fact, the Relay itself is the “party” to celebrate all the months of work and fund-raising.

There will be articles in the coming months with information, deadlines, news, and events leading up to the Relay. For questions at any time, contact Megan Beason, this year’s Relay chair, at 826-3181 or email mugs911(at)yahoo.com. In addition, all local Relays have a website; the one for Sanders County can be found at www.sanderscountyrelay.org.

Who’d a thunk it? An almost unknown civic organization, The Friends of the Clark Fork Library, are celebrating 25 YEARS of do-gooding in the very eastern-most edge of Bonner County! Formed by elusive and ever-changing local residents (it IS volunteer work, after all), the group has somehow managed to consistently serve, improve and support the Clark Fork Library since 1986.

Here’s just some of the stuff the Friends have provided in the past quarter century: copy machines, plumbing, shelves, computer memory, water heater, coffee pot, vacuums, fax machine, phones, color scanner, CD ROMs, encyclopedias, headphones, alarm system, employee Christmas bonuses, movies, repair contracts, display case, popcorn machine, globe, window repair, deck stain, dictionary stand, flowers, Scholastic Book Fair, computer games, signs, cat food, kitty litter, people counter, supplies, refreshments and ancillary support for special programs throughout the years. The Friends of the Clark Fork Library have spent a whopping total of more than $29,000 on our local library (and you didn’t even know they existed, did you?). You can admit it. Even they are sometimes unaware of their own amazing powers.

Coffers that are smaller than our comfort zone have forced us to beg for the first time in our history, but not to worry! We had a successful chili feed at Mom’s Café in February and invite you to its successor:

Please come to our CHILI DOG extravaganza on Saturday, March 26 from 4 to 6 pm at Mom’s Café in Clark Fork—that’s the last Saturday of the month. Good eats! Your meal will include an ice-cream sundae, compliments of Emerald Distributors. We want to see your smiling faces as we continue to show our love for the Clark Fork Library.

We hope to make some money, spread good cheer, and maybe get a few of you to join the Friends of the Clark Fork Library. We want to increase our membership without diluting our Central Mission: help the library without having to actually go to meetings very often (if

at all). Join us! Dues are $5.00 per year. The wonderful staff at the newly enlarged (and very spiffy) Clark Fork Library can also accept donations for us.

Second Harvest’s mobile food bank truck, loaded with fresh produce for the area’s hungry, will be rolling into Clark Fork at 10 am on Tuesday, March 29. The truck, dubbed the “Thrivent Homegrown Help Truck,” represents a collaboration between the Northern Rocky Mountain Region of Thrivent Financial for Lutherans and Second Harvest to get nutritious, perishable product to underserved communities throughout the Inland Northwest in a timely manner.

Approximately 25 volunteers from the Bonner/Boundary County Chapter of Thrivent Financial and Living Water Lutheran Church will assist in distributing the product.

Nearly 40,000 Inland Northwest residents each week receive emergency food assistance from Second Harvest’s network. Many of these families have to make choices between food and everyday necessities such as utilities, rent, or medical bills. Four out of ten clients seeking help are children, and another one out of ten is a senior citizen.

The mobile food bank will be distributing food at the Clark Fork Jr/Sr High School from 10 am to noon on Tuesday, March 29.

The Friends of Scotchman Peaks Wilderness annual scholarship essay competition for 2011 is now open. Last year, $1,750 dollars were awarded to applicants for their essays on wilderness. The competition seeks entries from area seniors written on the theme, “What does wilderness have to teach the ‘civilized’ world?” A graduating senior from each high school in Thompson Falls, Plains, Noxon, Troy and Libby, Montana; as well as Clark Fork, Sandpoint and the Lake Pend Oreille Alternative High School in Idaho, will receive a $250 scholarship for the winning essay from each school, with an additional $250 rewarded for the best essay, overall.

“We’ve received some extraordinarily good essays in past years,” FSPW program coordinator Sandy Compton said, “and we will certainly get some more this year. The essay competition is a great way to let young people speak out for wilderness.”

This scholarship has no minimum GPA, nor does it require any commitment for higher education. This scholarship is paid directly to the individual upon successful graduation, and may be used as they see fit. Scholarship applications will be available from counselors at area high schools next week. Seniors may also ask for an application by calling Compton at 208-290-1281 or writing to sandy(at)scotchmanpeaks.org

Deadline for entry is April 15.Friends of Scotchman Peaks Wilderness


is a volunteer-driven local group that seeks Wilderness protection for the 88,000 acre Scotchman Peaks Roadless Area that spans the Idaho-Montana border. Visit their website at www.scotchmanpeaks.org.

It’s the most wonderful honor of their lives. That’s how many past winners have felt after learning they have been selected as a Woman of Wisdom. The distinction not only turns a few months into a magical time for them and their family, but it also remains with them for eternity.

Seventy area women have experienced and cherished this very special recognition since 1999 when Sandpoint’s Marsha Olgilvie and several other community leaders formed the local committee, called Women Honoring Women.

The typical scenario for each class of honorees has not changed much over the years. There’s the unexpected telephone call, informing each woman of her selection.

Then comes public recognition in the media, followed by a host of new friends among fellow honorees and admirers from the sponsoring WHW committee at an intimate but lively get-acquainted luncheon.

It’s all topped off by a grand and festive gala for family, friends and the community to celebrate these wonderful women in “queen-for-a-day” fashion, including videos of their lives, speeches revealing their many admirable traits, a few tears of joy and well-deserved applause.

“To be able to give that gift to someone is what keeps me motivated to make sure the tradition lives on year after year,” says WHW chair Kathy Chambers. “There are so many incredible women in our community who deserve the recognition of a life well-lived, and I cannot wait to do it again and again.”

With that in mind, it’s time once again to nominate worthy women for the 2011 honor, where up to five women 65 or over will be chosen to be recognized at Panhandle State Bank’s Tango Café, Saturday, June 18.

“The best way to nominate someone is to follow the criteria closely [published several times in the Daily Bee],” Kathy Chambers explains. “Make sure each and every criterion is covered in detail so that we get a very clear picture of the woman and her life.”

Once nominations close, WHW committee members spend hours poring over letters of support, discussing in detail each candidate’s merits while trying to decide the current year’s winners.

After joining WHW, Kari Saccomanno participated in that process for the first time last year.

“These women may go unnoticed, as most of what they do is just a natural part of them; they don’t make a big deal out of it,” she says. “They passionately believe in people and in our community. It shows in everything they do and how they care for others.

“I’m barely past my first year with the

committee,” Kari adds, “yet I was profoundly affected by all we did, the women we honored and the passion that all of them feel for life and others.”

As for the past honorees, most have been truly humbled, shocked or amazed by the experience. Women of Wisdom range from highly visible community leaders to quiet, behind-the-scenes contributors.

Regardless of their individual stories, these women have consistently served as outstanding examples of dedication, empathy, selflessness, resilience, intellectual curiosity, creativity and doers of good works within this community.

To make this special tribute a reality for yet another group of deserving area women, a few details need to fall into place. During the next few weeks, nomination applications will appear several times in the Bonner County Daily Bee.

Letters of support, outlining specific reasons why nominees deserve the honor, need to be written and submitted by April 8 to Women Honoring Women, P.O. Box 159, Sandpoint, ID 83864 or by email to Kathy Hubbard at kathyleehubbard(at)yahoo.com

To determine a potential nominee, simply look around you and single out women, whom you know, who have lived and served this community extensively with good and pure intentions to serve others and “to get the job done” wherever a need exists.

Certainly, they’re out there, and as Marilyn Sabella, charter member of WHW says, “It brings the honoree’s family together to celebrate her life achievements. Too often kind words and recognition only happen when someone dies.

“How wonderful to do it for the living!”P.S. If individuals or organizations would

like to lend support to this event, financial donations are appreciated. They can be sent to the WHW address above.

This first appeared as a letter to the editor in the Bonner County Daily Bee written by the Women of Wisdom Committee, and is re-printed in the River Journal at their request.

A celebration in honor of the 100th anniversary of International Women’s Day will be held Saturday, March 12 from 4 to 7 pm at the Sandpoint Community Hall and will include music, art, food and sharing.

The theme is ‘collage magic’ and events include the creation of Soul Cards, a healing exchange, a potluck dinner, giveaways and a preview of a Women’s Cooperative.

Participants are asked to bring drums, rattles, a potluck dish, giveaway items, and collage materials such as magazines, scissors and glue. For more information, call 208-265-2570 or email [email protected].

Despite the story already being printed (in the February 2011 issue of the River

Journal) Timewasting Champion Ana Huston couldn’t resist sharing one more: visit White Whine (www.whitewhine.com). To properly appreciate these online complaints, it helps to have a little bit of the ready. If, instead, you find your wallets filled with the not-even-close-to-being ready, then enjoy the thought of beating some of these people with a poverty stick. (That is not meant to reflect a literal beating in any way, so don’t go jumping all over me now.)

A sample: “Ugh. I got the job. I hope this is the last time I’m working for twenty bucks an hour.”

It may not seem like it right now, but it won’t always be snowing and cold and Sandpoint Parks and Recreation is there to help you get ready for summer. On March 19, Sandpoint Parks and Recreation and the Sandpoint Sailing Association will offer a free sailing workshop, Sailboat Cruising, from 9 am to 1 pm at Sandpoint Community Hall, 204 First Ave. Share in this introduction to the laid-back side of sailing, and learn about marinas, anchorages, mooring buoys and comfortable living on the lake. Open to the public; adults and youth at least 10 years old are encouraged to attend.

Then, on April 9 further your education with Sailing Safety: CPR, First Aid and Heavy Weather Tactics, a series of free sailing workshops, including this one on Sailing Safety—CPR, First Aid and Heavy Weather Tactics (and other valuable information to save your butt!), again from 9 am to 4 pm in Sandpoint Community Hall

For more information on both these programs, contact Bruce Robertson, SSA Rear Commodore, via e-mail at twolabs1cat(at)frontier.com, by phone at 208-263-3610, or call Sandpoint Parks and Recreation at 208-263-3613.

Ray Allen is available for private parties, weddings, restaurants, and all corporate events. Ray Allen plays acoustic guitar and sings jazz standards, pop tunes, country, and originals from the 30s through the 70s. Music for all ages. Includes use of my PA system for announcements. Clean cut and well dressed for your event. PA rentals for events. Call for my low rates and information.

Call 208-610-8244

| The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. �0 No. 3| March �011

Unions and the Free MarketMy father was a smart man, but he was

born into poverty. And not what we tend to call poverty today—making do with an old television instead of a new, big screen HDTV—but the kind of poverty where he used to follow the coal truck through town to pick up whatever pieces fell off in order to help heat the family home.

It’s typical to say he had no place to go but up, but ‘up’ wasn’t really an option in those days. If you were born in poverty, it was likely you would stay there.

I won’t tell you all the ways a smart but poor man could make a living back then; let’s just say moonshine, poker and pool all played a role in his professional life.

Until the early 60s that is, when my father joined a union.

For poor people, a union was pretty much the only way they could ‘change their stars.’

Some time after I was born, my father became a member of the Plumbers and Pipefitters Union Local #598 out of Chicago, Illinois. He was a pipefitter (which is more than just being a welder), and he never took for granted the opportunity that union membership gave him.

Growing up, we knew not to shop at J.C. Penney’s because they used non-union labor to build their stores, and yes, we looked at the label on everything, only making a purchase if it proudly stated, “Made in the U.S.A.” And we would never, ever, cross a picket line, regardless of whether or not we agreed with what the picketers were fighting for, because the picket line was the enduring symbol of ‘the power of the people.’

To this day I would not cross a picket line, even though I have lost much of my enthusiasm for unions.

In the discussions going on today, it often seems to me that people have forgotten

just why the role unions currently play is important for everyone.

A business operates to make a profit. There’s nothing wrong with that; money that’s available over and above your cost of production can be used to grow either your own or someone else’s business. It goes without saying, however, that many means of keeping your production costs low are not so beneficial for the workers you hire.

From the worker’s standpoint, they want to be able to make a decent living, to have adequate time away from work to deal with their personal lives and have some fun, and to be able to retire once they become too old to work while maintaining a decent standard of living. Because workers en masse have more ability to negotiate these things with a company than each individual employee does, unions came into the picture. There is nothing wrong with that, either.

Now picture a world where working people no longer carry enough clout to enter into those negotiations with employers. What do you think that will look like?

Unfortunately, many people seem to believe it will look no different than it does today, in the job they hold without belonging to a union. They fail to recognize that it was unions who set the standards that their

employers are meeting now.Look to the developing world if you want

to picture what it will look like. Look to the American corporations, like Nike and others, who have addressed the clash between the needs of workers and the profits of the business that they prefer to operate their businesses in countries where workers don’t have the protections that unions devised. Ask them why they think it’s okay to pay minimal wages, to hire people to routinely work 12- to 18-hour days; why it’s okay to expect children to carry that workload. The answer is that it improves their bottom line, and if they have the opportunity to do so, they take it.

For a period of time in this country—a relatively short period of time—there was a benefit to an employer who met the needs of workers. After all, businesses need a populace with enough income to buy their goods.

But think of the world we live in today. While producers still need people to buy their product, they don’t need you to be one of those purchasers.

They don’t need any American to be those purchasers because current economic forecasts suggest it’s the Chinese who are going to have the disposable income to create a demand for products.

Without a union base in this country, who is going to stand up for you the worker? Who is going to say that eight hours is enough to work in a day, that children shouldn’t be forced into labor, and that you deserve to be able to make a decent living?

Unions are not perfect; neither are businesses. But I don’t see anyone who wants unions to go away telling us how we’re going to guarantee we will meet the valid needs of workers without them.

-Trish Gannon

Spring is right around the corner... really!

and so is the 26th Annual PBCA

HOME & GARDEN SHOWApril 9 and 10 at the Bonner County Fairgrounds

Doors open at 9 am Sat., 10 am Sun.

Booth spaces are still available so act now!

For more information call 208-263-4967 or visit www.Panhandle BCA.com

Presented bySandpoint, Idaho

| The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. �0 No. 3| March �011 March �011| The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. �0 No. 3| Page 11

Winter’s Minor Mysteries

Every so often we are presented with minor mysteries; obscure bird tracks to decode, unusual animal behavior to wonder about, oddities that pop up like mushrooms after a fall rain. One Christmas we were fortunate enough to have both a granddaughter visiting and a good old Montana winter with lots of snow. The novelty of snow wowed the Arizona kid. She ate it, rolled in it, and created messy snow angels. She helped her dad pack a walking trail up the sledding hill. Then she needed to build a snow cone stand.

Marching into the house, holding a 4-foot-long section of plastic pipe, she announced, “When grandpa goes to the dump, he brings stuff home.” The pipe proved to be a perfect holder for the wide pink Barbie umbrella that was a necessary ingredient in creating the illusion of a snow cone stand. The neighbor kids came over for an afternoon of sledding and eating snow with dry Kool-Aid sprinkled on the top.

The following day, the most unusual tracks we had ever seen in snow were scattered here and there. Our granddaughter spotted them first and was wildly excited. To her the tracks looked like jellyfish. We saw six long, webbed toes spreading out equally from a center. It was as if a heron had stood heel-to-heel in that awkward ballet position.

You have got all the information. Can you, dear reader, answer the minor mystery of the six-toed track?

February ’09 brought an interesting mystery. The snow was about five feet deep; our paths to the woodshed, shop and driveway were shoulder-deep trenches. We went down to Moscow to enjoy the Jazz Festival and were gone for four days. Arriving home at dusk with a Costco shopping to unload, we noted a couple inches of fresh snow and some curious tracks next to the back door. Three and a half inches, nearly round, each of the four toes and the heel pad were clearly embossed in the fresh snow. Backtracking we could see that

the cougar had jumped down into the cleared path by the outhouse, stuck its head into the woodshed, and walked down the path to our back door. No one opened the door and invited it inside (although our house cats did seem pretty freaked out), yet the tracks ended at the doorway.

Can you figure out where the lion went?Out along the highway, traffic sets the

table for dining birds and eagles are commonly seen. But we get our share because nearly every winter there will be an eagle or two working a carcass in our creek valley. January 2010, after watching a bald eagle on a large spruce that grows about 100 yards from our front porch, and observing his flight pattern, I was able to find—not easily—the white tail he was cleaning up. The dead deer was in a small clearing—too small to flap a sheet—and surrounded by a tangle of alder. I was unable to visualize how that big bird landed and took off.

This winter’s mystery involves a bald eagle. Early February, we noticed a bald eagle again in the prominent spruce. The snow was too funky to search out the carcass, but we know the bones are out there because the eagle hung around for a week or so. We noticed that nearly every time one of us stepped out our big front door, which faces the spruce, the eagle called out. Often we couldn’t locate him in the spruce or any other prominent perching trees, but we could certainly hear his screech.

We couldn’t understand how the eagle could see us on the porch when we could not locate it even using binoculars. We couldn’t understand why it would screech at us anyway.

Can you figure out why the eagle called when we came outside?

(These mysteries are solved on page 12.)

Jim and Betsy do it. You should, too.

Don’t let winter weather keep you inside. Inveterate hikers Jim & Betsy show you the way with weekly hike reports about life in the high country year-round. Just visit our website and from the homepage, select outdoors-hiking-Mountain Walkers.Go ahead. Get off the couch. The views are great from the top!www.RiverJournal.com/vivvo/outdoors/hiking/fulling

1211 Michigan, Sandpoint

208.265.2500 800.338.9835

Without planning, taxes can be a BIG

headache• Personal • Corporate• Partnerships • Trusts

•

CurrentsLou Springer

Lou [email protected]

Dishes, linens, chairs, tables, tents and more. Reserve early to ensure

supplies on your special day.

All About Weddings1201 Michigan St. • Sandpoint www.weddingsinsandpoint.com

208.263.9748

Custom Wedding & Event Supplies

� | The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. �0 No. 3| March �011

The American coot marches to its own beat. It is not a duck, though many people confuse them with the web-footed types. This might be because coots swim like ducks and dive like ducks, and they often hang out with ducks, but that does not make them a duck. And they are not shorebirds, though there is some resemblance and they “shore” are birds. Coots are members of the Rallidae, a cosmopolitan family of birds that exist almost everywhere and in a variety of habitats. Some Rallidae are even flightless. So the American coot comes from a fine pedigree of interesting birds.

During the final weeks of fall and the earliest weeks of spring, you can spot rafts of coots on Lake Pend Oreille, sometimes numbering in the hundreds. Coots are migratory birds that seem to suddenly appear out of nowhere. This is because they migrate at night. So we will rarely, if ever, see them in flight. But not all of these coots are simply passing through. For many of them, Lake Pend Oreille is their destination. And, of course, some coots forget to leave and might spend the entire winter chillin’ on the lake, so to speak.

Coots are fairly nondescript in appearance. They are a uniform black and about the size of a small duck. They have a very non-duck bill, being narrow and pointed. The upper mandible of the bill also extends up onto the

bird’s forehead, forming a little shield. The bill is white on mature birds, with a small black ring toward the tip. A dark bill indicates an immature bird. There is little if any sexual differentiation between the males and females. They pretty much all look the same, though only through our eyes. They seem to have no problem separating the Johns from the Janes. And they are not mute, though you might not often be able to hear them. To me, their call is like a cross between a goose and a gull. You’ll know it when you hear it. But they can be very noisy if they choose to be.

Coot feet are also interesting, if not unique. They do not have webbed feet, but nonetheless move about in the water very ably. Instead of webbing, coot toes have flat lobes that expand outward with each rearward movement of the foot, capturing water and thrusting the bird forward. Very cool! They are also omnivores, meaning that they will eat both animal and plant matter.

Surprisingly, many duck hunters avoid taking coots, even though daily limits are listed in the hunting regulations. This might be because many hunters know them by the disparaging term of “mud hen.” Though I’ve never eaten a coot—yet—they apparently don’t taste any different than the ducks most waterfowlers target. So, if you are a waterfowl

hunter and you get a coot, try it and tell me what you think. My email address is right up top. Hey, I love birds, both in the binoculars and on the dinner table.

Coots are important to the local biosystem as they are a frequent prey animal for local carnivores, such as the bald eagle. I have seen baldies take coots more than once. Sad for the coot, happy for the eagle. And any other meat eater will grab them when the opportunity presents itself, such as coyotes.

Coots build floating nests made out of plant material, anchored among the water plants. If you want to see a special treat, spy out their young once they begin swimming with their parents. Talk about ugly! I venture to guess that these little rascals are safe from animal predation as they could scare Frankenstein’s monster. Talk about a “face that only a mother can love.” If you like scary things google the term “baby coot.” I warned you!

Coots are common, but that is only by population numbers. By every other measure they are quite uncommon. They are distinctive animals wrapped in a plain vanilla wrapper, albeit in black. And they evidently make a great pie, so what can be better than that? Happy birding.

Photo of mom and baby coots by Mike Baird, used under the Creative Commons license.

A Bird in Hand• •

Mike [email protected] Coot: Common does not mean ‘normal’

The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol 17 No. 18 | November 2008 | Page 5

increase nutrients, such as nitrogen and

This septic pilot project is being introduced in order to comply with water quality standards as determined by the Federal Clean Water Act. Designated to protect water quality, the plan, known as a “Total Maximum Daily Load” for Lake Pend Oreille, addresses nutrient issues

In addition, many lakeshore homeowners participated in a survey in 2007 concerning a variety of water quality issues. As is turns out, their

Council website at tristatecouncil.org.

Hay’s ChevronGas • Convenience Store

Unofficial Historical Society

208-266-1338

Oil Changes Tire Rotation by appointment

The Scotchman PeaksKeep ‘em wild.

For our Families, For tomorrow.www.ScotchmanPeaks.org

Friends of Scotchman Peaks Wilderness

Answers to Minor Mysteries from page 11

The six-toed tracks were not made by dancing herons but by an upside down Barbie umbrella.The cougar followed that foot-wide band of snowless ground next to the house. It had to follow that band around two sides of the house because the prints next appeared in the front yard and crossed the garden.The bald eagle was responding to the squeaking of the hinge on our front door.

•

•

•

� | The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. �0 No. 3| March �011 March �011| The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. �0 No. 3| Page 13

This time of year the IDFG staff gets numerous inquiries regarding the pending hunting season. Folks are interested in two things; when will the regulations be out in print, and did the hunting seasons change? Some get frustrated that we are not doing it fast enough, so I want to remind sportsmen of the process that our biologists and commissioners go through to produce the seasons.

Every two years big game population data is reviewed along with harvest data (thus the importance of submitting your harvest reports) and certain trends surface; for example an increase in cow to calf ratio, or a decrease in bull to cow ratio. Our biologists and officers take on the task of f lying in helicopters to collect data they need to plug into population models and analyze changing trends. Now some folks have complained that we should be on the ground counting animals because it’s much more efficient. Malarkey! To be honest with you it really makes me see red when someone states that, because we have lost good biologists and friends in helicopter crashes. We wouldn’t do it if it wasn’t the best way to collect data.

All the data and trends were analyzed and our hard working biologists roughed out season proposals by February 22. The proposals were sent out by email and posted on the web for public input. The first two weeks of March we will set up public meetings to gain input from you, the sportsmen. After all the recommendations are looked at, the proposals are modified and sent to the IDFG

Commissioners for approval. On March 28 and 29, the Commission will meet and set the big game seasons for 2011 and 2012. The regulations will be immediately sent off to the printer and on the shelf of your local vendor by mid-April.

You can peruse the proposals on our website at fishandgame.idaho.gov and make comments in the lower right hand corner. In addition, come on out and join us at the Bonner County Fairgrounds on March 10 at 7 pm for a public input meeting.

Some of the trends we are seeing indicate that Units 1–5 are doing well for elk numbers; cow to calf ratios are above 30 calves per 100 cows which means (insert drum roll) we can return to most of the 2008 hunting regulations.

Unfortunately, Units 6, 7, and 9 are not faring so well with numbers indicating less than 20 calves per 100 cows. Most likely we will have to cut cow seasons in those units. On the bright side our folks who flew those Units saw lots of older bulls—big bulls if you know what I’m saying! In addition, you will see a huge reduction of spikes and raghorns so you won’t hear those satellite bulls screaming and carrying on like they do during the rut.

What’s the reason for this reduction in cow to calf ratio? Well, there are always many aspects to the changing trends of wildlife populations, but the two big ones are quality of habitat and of course... wolves. Habitat has taken a seat behind wolves, but we need to continue to think about it and the long term impacts on our herds. With the lack of logging and minimal forest fires, the Panhandle has a tough time growing elk.

Speaking of habitat, the Rocky Mountain Elk Foundation is hosting this year’s banquet on Saturday, April 16, at Bonner County

Fairgrounds. Doors open at 4:00 pm and you can begin enjoying the “social hour” with drawings, raffles, games, drinks, and the silent auction and then enjoy a nice dinner followed by a live auction!

So, you might ask, what has the Rocky Mountain Elk Foundation really accomplished for elk? Since 1984 the Elk Foundation has: permanently protected more than 1,486 square miles of critical elk habitat, opened more than 590,000 acres to the public to hunt, fish and roam, improved habitat across 4.9 million acres of elk country, and funded more than 7,000 projects to promote conservation education and North America’s hunting heritage. Being an “elk state,” Idaho actually receives more money from the foundation than we as Idahoans put in; that’s a darn good deal!

RMEF is so efficient with our money they can boast a four star rating (out of four stars) from the Charity Navigator. The Charity Navigator is an independent evaluator of charity organizations to better determine what they are doing with the monies that are generously given to them.

If you are interested, there are some incentives to becoming a member and attending the banquet. You will receive a new Buck knife made right here in the good ole’ USA and also be entered to win a Ruger 10/22 Rimfire Rifle with a synthetic snow camo stock.

If you would like to purchase tickets or have questions please contact Karen Hanna at (208)304-6303 or email northidahormef(at)yahoo.com. I hope you all can come out and have a good time while supporting elk and their habitat. See you there!

Leave No Child Inside

The Game TrailDetermining the Seasons

Matt [email protected] •

March 16 – “Small Orchards” with Robb McCrackenMarch 23 – “Berries” with Jon BairMarch 30 – “Basic Gardening I” with Kit CooleyApril 6 – “Basic Gardening II” with Kit CooleyApril 20 – “Seed Saving” by Jennifer Costich-ThompsonApril 27 – “Basics of Low Pressure Irrigation” with J.R. North

$10 each class

email [email protected] or call 208-263-8511

Presented and Coordinated by Bonner County Master Gardeners

HOME HORTICULTURE CLASSES


Bless me, Father, for I have no iPhone. I must also reveal that the Roman Catholic confession “Apps” make me even more regretful that I don’t own an iPhone.

Or, is it a smart phone?I don’t know what it’s called, except that

it does a lot of things in a hurry and within a very small package.

It has the apps to prove it too. I must reveal stunning news to

“Love Notes” readers: I’ve learned lately that there is a LOT that I don’t know. The worst part is I may never live long enough to conquer my severe deficit-of-information disorder.

Is there an app for correcting my problem?

In this society, news and new developments blitz by so fast that they’re old news before someone can put a headline up on the Internet.

And it’s those iPhones that are doing it.

Case in point.We were watching the Super

Bowl. Our family collectively gasped when Christina Aguilera flubbed the words to the “National Anthem.”

“I’ll bet they’ll have plenty to say about that tomorrow,” I piped up.

“You can know exactly what ‘they’re’ saying right now,” my son Willie announced.

I looked over to the couch where Willie sat on one end while his wife Debbie sat on the other. Both were in their driver’s seats, tapping away at their iPhones, racing straight for Twitter.

Before Christina had finished her flawed anthem, Debbie read aloud someone’s tweet, which said something to the effect that Christina sure did screw up... “dumb ___” (denigrating epithet).

And, that was one of the kinder comments floating into Twitter at lightning speed from around the world.

At that very moment, I knew that I was outdated.

What’s this stuff about tomorrow’s headlines, anyway? They’re old news before they happen, it seems.

And, to imagine that Twitter isn’t even an “app” on those remarkably intelligent iPhones. It’s just one of the main ingredients.

Most apps come later, after you’ve forked over the money for your new one-stop mini encyclopedia, map/department store, restaurant guide, alarm clock, Internet access

and, oh yeah, communications device for actually talking to people somewhere else.

After my stunning realization that I’m truly a fossil in regard to telephones and what they really can do to run our lives, I’ve done some reflection, and that even includes considering a much-needed Confession.

First, if I had the iConfess app, I’d have to reveal my past indiscretions with party

lines. Party lines of my childhood brought great

joy and some frustration. All we needed for our own personal “party on the line” was a good listening ear and a firm hand covering the telephone mouthpiece.

This activity became possible after our rural household converted from the telephone crank phone on the wall to one that sat on a table. The new system allowed the user to sit down and dial that number rather than yelling out “382, please” to the neighborhood telephone company operator who would then ring Ardis Racicot’s phone half a mile down Boyer Road.

Whenever our parents were gone and we needed to entertain ourselves, we listened in on conversations featuring the other eight or nine families with whom we shared the line.

I’d be lying if I suggested that I didn’t rather enjoy my teen-aged telephonic voyeurism. My brothers and I also delighted in interjecting occasional primitive noises as the other two parties tried to carry on a conversation.

In one case, I carefully mouthed a few sounds mimicking flatulence, only to hear my neighbor June Paulet react, “Marianne Brown, you stop that!” I never quite figured

out how she guessed that I was the culprit. The worst part was that I had to stay on the line because if I hung up, she’d know for sure.

Our party lines also frustrated us at times.

Nothing could be more unnerving than those occasions when someone on the party line accidentally left the phone off the hook.

When another caller picked up the receiver, dialed and discovered that nothing happened, the tell-tale television, blaring in the background, gave a good clue that the intended phone conversation would have to wait.

It would wait through several piercing yells from the person wanting to use the line. “ARE YOOOOOOOOOOOU THERRRRRRRRRRRRRE? HANG UP YOUR PHONE!”

The next strategy was to let loose with a series of the loudest, shrillest whistles known to humankind but apparently not known to the hearing-impaired family.

With that effort going in vain, the next step was to attempt

to figure out which of the ten families on the party line had, indeed, lost their sense of hearing. Of course, the volume of their television set gave a pretty good clue WHY they lost it but not WHO they were.

So patience was a virtue as we settled in for the long wait.

The party-line era eventually gave way to all telephone users having their own private lines, a luxury once reserved for the rich.

Later, came the “mobile phone, ” evolving into the cell phone. The ability to call without being tied to a cord in a specific location certainly took some adjusting, but for most folks of my era, true amazement began to unfold when phones seemingly started doing everything but tie our shoes.

Hence, leading to last year’s word of the year, “apps.” As a dark-ager, I’m still grasping the notion of “apps.” You can get apps for going out on a date, apps for the great outdoors, apps for mom and dad, etc.

Again, I must confess. I feel much more comfortable mouthing the word than actually using any of the multitude of cell phone apps constantly appearing on the market.

So, you can imagine how I reacted, hearing recent news bytes about the confession app.

At the tender age of 7, I went through

by Marianne Love

“Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.” (There’s an app for that!)

� | The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. �0 No. 3| March �011 March �011| The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. �0 No. 3| Page 1�

meticulous preparation for approaching the Sacrament of Penance. Nuns taught us the procedure for telling our sins in the darkness of a Confessional. They explained how the priest listened through a screen and subsequently absolved us of our sins, assigning us some prayers to say in hopes we would not repeat those sins again.

Of course having grown up in that era, I assumed this digitized confession app had to be a joke, so my first reaction was to mock the idea of confessing my sins to a cell phone, let alone a priest.

Preconceived notions, assumptions and knee-jerk reactions can often crumble, once we search for the “rest of the story.” For one thing, I’ve since learned that rather than spitting out the latest sins at lightning speed via cell phone, there’s still old-fashioned and time-consuming reflection and procedure involved in Confession.

My quest for answers first took me to a friend and former student who works as a Vatican reporter. She sent me a copy of the Vatican’s press release regarding the confession apps.

“[These tools]... can help Catholics prepare for confession but cannot substitute for the sacramental encounter between a penitent and a priest,” the release, quoting Vatican spokesman Jesuit Father Federico Lombardi, states. “... the new application could be useful in helping people make an examination of conscience.

“In the past... Catholics would sometimes use written questions and answers to prepare for confession, and that’s something that could be done today with the aid of a digital device.”

Floyd Piedad also helped set me straight while discussing his own techno approach to a cleansed soul. Piedad, an IT developer and author from the Philippines, developed iConfess, http://tinyurl.com/4dabrq9. His app was released from the Apple Store in 2009. Since then, another application called “Confession” has appeared on the market.

“Both have a detailed guide for examination of one’s conscience,” Floyd told me in an email interview. “I think mine is more thorough, as it not only covers the ‘Ten

Commandments’ but also ... sins with respect to the Sacrament of Confession, those against the Holy Spirit, the seven Deadly Sins, etc.”

Floyd said he developed iConfess to “help myself do my own ‘Examination of Conscience’ primarily.” He then realized his tool could help others.

“It’s very hard to find a good, comprehensive and faithful guide for examining one’s conscience,” he says, “so I felt it necessary to

create one and make it available in a modern format.”

He also wants to dispel the widely perceived notion, filtering through various media, that people can just use their phone to confess their sins.

“The dominant misconception about the Confession app and my iConfess app is that it takes the place of getting Confession from a priest,” Floyd says. “Some are saying that $1.99 buys you salvation. Absolutely rubbish ... and [this] seems to be said by critics of the Catholic Church.”

I appreciated Floyd’s firsthand knowledge and his explanation of the Confession apps.

Now that I’ve become somewhat versed on yet another notch in the history of Alexander Graham Bell’s original communications concept, I have not yet decided whether to take advantage of the digitized approach to my own overdue Confession or to go the old-fashioned way.

For one thing, I don’t have an iPhone. Moreover, I know that whatever pathway I choose for soul cleansing, I’ll be okay.

Besides, the Baltimore Catechism taught me long, long ago that God will get the message because “God knows everything,” even that I used to listen in on my neighbors’ phone conversations.

Marianne [email protected]

Love Notes by Marianne Love

A Montana Speaker’s Bureau for the Humanities presentation

Sponsored by the Grandview Museum

Mark Twain in

MontanaSaturday, April 2, at 7 pm MTN

Heron Community CenterHeron, Montana

First Person Interpreter Michael Delaney presents a most amusing view of Mark Twain’s experiences in Montana. This presentation is free and open to the

public. Questions? Call Debbie 1-406-847-2388.

“... it is hard to tell where Michael Delaney ends and

Mark Twain begins.” Vernon Carroll, Interpretive Specialist with Montana Fish, Wildlife and Parks


The Joint Finance and Appropriations Committee began to establish proposed appropriations to present to the legislature the week of February 14 after arriving at a final General Funds revenue target as a spending cap for agency appropriations. The committee’s final revenue amount was below the Governor’s estimate announced in his January budget address.

The Governor’s estimate for General Funds revenue was $2,521,456,000, but because of more recent revenue data received in January and early February that indicated less revenue than anticipated by the Governor in his revenue estimate, the committee adopted a revenue target of $2,429,965,700. This is $91,490,300 less than the Governor’s projection and will require larger reductions in agency appropriations than originally anticipated. Even though most agencies will have to take some reduction, the largest dollar reductions will have to come from the three largest agencies because they have the largest appropriations; about 85 percent of the general fund’s appropriation. These three agencies are public schools (kindergarten through twelfth grade), Health and Welfare, and Corrections. Public school support is the single largest appropriation, representing over half of general fund spending.

The appropriations for Public Education Support and Health and Welfare are scheduled at the end of the budget setting process because of issues being addressed by the House and Senate Education and Health and Welfare committees that could have an impact on funding levels for these agencies.

The budget setting process for the Joint Finance and Appropriations Committee is scheduled to end March 14, but could be later depending on significant changes in revenue expectations and/or legislation passed by legislative committees that could impact appropriation levels for agencies.

Public school reform is a significant issue before the legislature at the time of writing this article. I mentioned in my last article many of the public school reform proposals by State Superintendent of

Schools Tom Luna. The proposed reform legislation was first introduced in the Senate Education Committee and has been very controversial. Opposition to various reform measures has been strong from the Idaho Education Association, teachers, school superintendents and parents, resulting in the Senate Committee taking a careful look at the proposal and in many cases making changes to address concerns.

The three Senate bills on education reform are Senate Bills 1108, 1110 and 1113 (SB1108, SB1110, SB1113).

SB 1108 relates to labor relations and employee entitlements. There are several labor related components in the legislation including phasing out tenure for those teachers not yet governed by tenure and replacing it with two-year contracts, limiting collective bargaining to just salaries and benefits and requiring that all labor negotiations be conducted in public meetings.

SB 1110 provides for a “pay for performance” system for teachers. The legislation “rewards teachers and administrators on a school wide basis for student achievement as determined at the local level. Teachers may also be rewarded for teaching in hard to fill positions and for taking leadership roles such as mentoring, creating curriculum, grant writing and obtaining National Board Certification.”

SB 1108 and SB 1110 passed the Senate on a 20-15 vote on February 24 and are now before the House Education Committee for consideration; if passed by that committee they will go to the House floor for consideration and if approved by the full House will go to the Governor for his consideration.

SB 1113 was sent back to the Senate Education Committee by the full Senate for additional consideration and possible changes. SB 1113 addresses class size, online course requirements and other student issues.

In addition to education, the issue of nullifying the national health care law has been addressed by both the Senate and the

House. The purpose of this legislation (House Bill 117) “is to declare the two federal laws: Public Law 111-148 and Public Law 111-152, void and of no effect in the state of Idaho.”

House Bill 117 passed the House by a significant majority but was killed in the Senate State Affairs Committee on February 25.

Because of decreased revenues, proposed education reform, potential changes in Health and Welfare benefits and prison population issues, this is a challenging legislative session. I will continue to keep you abreast of significant legislative actions as we progress through the legislative session, which hopefully will “Sine Die” sometime around March 31.

Please continue to advise me of issues important to you. I can be reached in Boise by phone at 1-800-626-0471 or by e-mail at idleg(at)lso.idaho.gov.

Thanks for reading! George

George Eskridge, Idaho Representative for House District 1B You can reach

him at 800-626-0471 or via email at idaholeginfo@

lso.idaho.gov

A Seat in the HouseA challenging and controversial session

•

•

No job too big. No job too small. Every job is JUST RIGHT!

From monthly maintenance contracts to Honey-Do projects we can take care of your minor or major home repairs, home maintenance and grounds services. Reliable and Affordable.

Ron’s Repair

Recycling - Lawn, Garden, Snow Equipment, Generators, Pumps and

Older Outboards. I also buy/sell batteries

2 doors west of the Hope Post Office

208-264-5529


Did that headline get you going? Sorry to disappoint, but I’m not really going to pick on conservatives here. However, on Facebook and email, in bars and at lunch, it’s hard to miss discussions on politics. These are trying times we live in, with difficult decisions to be made, and conversation is needed. As a liberal, of course, most of my ‘disagreements’ over politics occur with conservatives; hence the headline. But I admit that throughout political discourse, from left and from right, nobody seems to understand how to argue anymore.

Remember what you were taught about logic in high school? No? Well, I don’t either. Logic was never on the curriculum, and that fact becomes glaringly obvious when it comes to political discourse.

So here’s a little discourse on logic for you all to use. If you’re guilty of these illogical failings, please try to rectify the way you frame your arguments. If your debate opponent is guilty of these, please point them out. If you’re arguing with me, however, and you catch me engaging in one of these behaviors... well, I guess I deserve whatever you say. That’s the risk you take when you write something like this.THE GISH GALLOP

I hope your endurance level is high, because the Gish Gallop—or, as I like to call it, the “Well, but” technique—will inevitably make an appearance when talking politics. Your political opponent will make an obligatory ignorant comment about something that is simply factually untrue—think Sarah Palin’s “death panels.” Once you’ve refuted the point and explained how facts simply don’t back up the comment, the Gish galloper will respond, “Well, but there’s (point B),” and when point B is refuted, they bring up point C... all without ever acknowledging their facts have been incorrect all along.

This kind of conversation can go on forever, or until you give up and go to bed. I don’t know of any way to head the Gish Gallop off at the pass, but one way to address it is to simply draw attention to it. When your debate partner heads to point B, make sure to ask, “So, you understand your point A was incorrect but now you want to discuss point B,” and even better, when they head to point C, remark “So you understand that both your point A and your point B were factually incorrect,” and so on. It can be hoped your discussion partner will, at some point, be so shamed by the total asininity of their arguments they will shut up and leave you alone.

Bear in mind that the Gish Gallop is probably the first illogical arguing technique that anyone ever learns. Kids have it down pat even before kindergarten, and pointing out that what they’re doing is, in fact, a Gish Gallop usually won’t get you anywhere. With kids under the age of 5, and even under the age of 10, your best response is to end the

argument by saying something along the lines of “because I said so.”THE SLIPPERY SLOPE

You’d think that, given how many times the Slippery Slope is invoked, we’d all be at the bottom of the hill by now. What’s especially astounding about the Slippery Slope argument is how rarely it is ever true.

Anyone who has ever discussed any kind of gun control, or the legalization of marijuana, is familiar with this argument. If you’re in favor of some type of gun control, it will be used against you, and if you’re opposed to any

kind of gun control, then you’ve likely used this argument yourself. The same is true for medical marijuana.

Seriously?! Beware this argument, because what you’re basically saying is, “You have no control over your own decision making. If you decide one thing, then you will inevitably carry that decision on to a even stronger, different, conclusion.”

I admit, I think most people are fairly dumb. But I don’t think they’re that dumb.THE STRAW MAN

This is a favored technique by many, whereby your opponent ignores your actual position, characterizes it in a way that’s false, and then disproves their created position as a way of saying your initial argument is false.

A good current example of a Straw Man argument revolves around the Health Care Reform Act. Tell me this: how many times have you heard this act referred to as “socialized medicine?”

Wow. Opponents to health care reform focus arguments on why you shouldn’t want socialized medicine (many of them straw men within straw men within straw men) and consider the discussion ‘done.’ Yet the Health Care Reform Act doesn’t even come close to socialized medicine.

My god, it barely comes close to medicine at all, given that the entire health care reform bill deals almost entirely with health care insurance. So if your discussion devolves into socialized medicine, rest assured you’re fighting a straw man.TU QUOQUE

The Tu Quoque (you, too) argument is really, when you think about it, a dirty trick. You’re using a tu quoque argument if you find yourself making accusations against the person you’re talking with. “Look,” you might say to the person you’re disagreeing with. “You can’t possibly believe there’s a problem with sending a text message while you’re driving because I’ve seen you putting makeup on while you drive!” While you might have successfully pointed out some hypocrisy in your debate opponent, you haven’t actually addressed the issue of whether or not it’s a bad idea to send a text message while you’re

driving. (If you’re wondering, by the way, it is a bad idea. Please don’t do it if you’re driving on a road where any of my loved ones are also driving.)

The tu quoque fallacy is probably so favored because, let’s face it, it feels good. Nobody likes hypocrisy unless they’re practicing it themselves. ARGUMENT FROM AUTHORITY

This is an easy one to fall into if only because, to some degree, we find it necessary in life. It’s the “Because I Said So” argument and, from using it on your own children, it’s likely you already recognize at some level how it falls short.

We saw an example of this type of argument recently in Sandpoint over adding fluoride to water. “Can all these dentists be wrong?” After all, dentists turned out en masse to support what was then the current level of f luoridation in water.

The answer is, “of course they can be.” Dentists might have expert knowledge of teeth, and expert knowledge of the fluoride they apply to teeth in their own offices, but that does not make them experts on adding fluoride to water.

Note that their lack of expertise in the subject at hand doesn’t mean they were wrong in their opinion (though I personally believe they were), it just means that the fact of who they were did not necessarily mean their arguments were correct.

It’s hard not to try to argue from authority, however, because most of the things we form opinions on are not areas where we have personal expertise. POST-HOC, ERGO PROPTER HOC

Given that I’m running out of room here, let’s wrap this up with just one more example of an illogical basis for argument: Post-hoc ergo propter hoc. I chose this one just because I need to practice my Latin, which is pretty much non-existent. Translated, it means “after this, therefore because of this” and is the old argument about cause and effect.

Sometimes this argument is actually true: for example, when I don’t eat, I get hungry, therefore not eating makes me hungry.

More often, however, our innate desire to find patterns leads us into a post hoc, ergo propter hoc argument; it’s the basis for most of our superstitions.

For example, every single time I have bet that the Chicago Bears will win a football game, I have lost the bet. This even happened in 1985, when the only game they lost the entire season was the one game I bet on. So now, I never bet that the Bears will win a football game.

You’ll note that my betting restraint has not actually ‘caused them to ever win a game, but that doesn’t change my superstition. Which just goes to show you: all of us, at times, will fall for an an illogical argument.

Just try not to do it too often.

Politically IncorrectTrish Gannon

How to debate with a crazy conservative

Trish [email protected]

•


Here it is the end of February and while you in The River Journal area of circulation are getting another dump of snow and below zero temps, I’m sitting here in my swim trunks and basking in the sun—God, I love being retired!

I was going to give you an up-to-the-minute update on the House bills I mentioned last month but it seems our dedicated and conscientious elected Representatives have taken the last full week of February off—for President’s DAY! They adjourned on Thursday the 17th and will reconvene on Monday the 29th. If they don’t pass a continuing resolution ASAP, technically the government is broke until the new fiscal budget gets passed and it should shut down. But apparently that doesn’t get in the way of vacation time for our national leaders. So much for the cost effective governance we were promised in November.

As Bob Schiffer of CBS’s ‘Face the Nation’ commented last Sunday, “We would save a great deal of money if we only paid our legislators for the days when they were

actually working for the American People.“ That does sound like a reasonable suggestion to me.

But I digress. In reference to HR 333 and HR 238, both bills have been referred to committees. One went to Ways and Means the other to Veterans Affairs. It is here—in committee—when it is generally determined whether a bill lives or dies. Most bills never come out of committee. If a bill does come out of committee it seldom, if ever, looks the same as it did when submitted. It has been said by people far wiser than I that “A camel is a horse that was designed by a committee.”

It is in committee where the pet projects get inserted. It is in committee where the pork gets introduced. If there is any way that a special interest can be served by the bill under consideration, this is where it happens. The two bills mentioned above would help thousands of veterans if they come out of committee as they went in. The odds of this happening are two—slim and none—cynical bastard that I am. If these bills do come out of committee anywhere close to what they were when they went in it would be because many of the committee members heard from their constituents in support of those bills as they were presented. As an item of interest, neither of Idaho’s Representatives sit on Ways and Means or Veterans Affairs.

I would encourage all veterans who are members of the various veterans’ service organizations to learn where their organization stands on these bills—and all other veteran-related bills—and contact their state department representatives so they can tell the national representatives what they are hearing from their local membership. We are a very large fraternity and if we stick together we might get something done to help all of us.

I am especially happy to report that the American Legion is currently active in getting the word out about HR 333 and the number of sponsors in the House is currently in the 90s. The greater the number of sponsors the greater the odds of a bill coming out of committee, To refresh your memories, HR 333 deals with concurrent compensation for those with a less than 50 percent disability rating from the VA. [The President has moved to eliminate the Concurrent Compensation penalty for those veterans with more than 50 percent ratings by 2014.]

Concurrent Compensation penalizes those retirees who are receiving VA disability checks. How, you ask? Simple: they deduct whatever you are receiving from the VA from your military retirement check. For example, If a retiree has served 20 years, they are supposed to receive 50 percent of their last

monthly salary. If at discharge they are found to be 15 percent disabled—tinnitus/chronic back pain/arthritic joints, whatever—they will receive a monthly stipend from the VA. That stipend is deducted from their military retirement check every month. So, they are being compensated for this disability which occurred while they were serving but in reality they are getting nothing extra for that disability. The Government giveth and the Government taketh away.

I had to do some real digging to find the source and rationale for this accounting trick. It turns out that this was initiated by Congress before there even was a DoD or a DoVA. It seems that in 1891—one hundred and twenty years ago—Congress had a great many Civil War veterans. Within its halls were veterans who had served both the Union and the Confederacy. When the war ended disabled Union soldiers were given disability payments; Confederate soldiers were told to go home with nothing.

Needless to say there was some animosity stemming from this inequity. When Senator Benjamin Harrison became President (a former Union Brigadier General) he tried to get a law passed that gave disability payments to Union officers while they were still serving on active duty. He was outmaneuvered by Senator Francis Marion Cockrell (a former Confederate Brigadier General*) who got the law amended so that the disability payments could only be paid to retirees. Senator Cockrell made his case by pushing his amendment as a ‘cost saving’ measure. Thus we have the origins of a series of laws that penalized all future retirees to satisfy a grudge stemming from the Civil War.

By my rough estimate I figure that this ‘cost saving’ measure has cost me personally about $45,000 over the past 30 years and I’m only rated at 10 percent. Think about those who are rated in the 20 percent or higher disability ratings. This inequity is illegal under current non-discrimination laws but Congress has been very slow to rectify this situation. I, for one, think that it is high time this discriminatory practice was ended. Why don’t we let our Representatives know that we are watching them on this?

Until next month I hope that you all stay warm and dry. Take care.

* Being outmaneuvered by a Confederate General was nothing new. The reason the South lost the war had nothing to do with tactics or strategy but we’ll save that discussion for another day.

Veterans’ NewsSome thoughts on Concurrent Disability Gil Beyer, ETC USN Ret.

[email protected]


If I thought I was well-enough informed, I would write about the world situation, but only Glen Beck, Rush Limbaugh, Michael Savage and a few other pundits like them are well-enough informed for that. Just ask them.

I very seldom listen to Rush or Michael, but I sometimes get to watch Glen (God, I hope I’m spelling his name right) at the health club, where TVs facing my friend the elliptical machine often end up tuned to Fox for whatever reason someone might actually choose to watch Fox. The only rational reason I can think of is the cardio affect one might get. Surely, watching Glen causes my blood pressure to rise—even with the sound off.

One of the things I like about myself—after a number of years of practice—is that I try to understand what my problem is with institutions like Fox News and people like Glen, Rush and Michael. Why, I wonder, do they tend to pis.... er, make me angry? If it’s just a knee-jerk reaction, it can’t count. Somewhere inside have to be basal reasons for my sometimes-not-so-hidden dislike of those sons-of-sea-biscuits and folks like them.

First, I suppose, is their ranting, bombastic, smug, self-righteous, judgmental, inciteful—not insightful—method of delivery. Even Larry King listens once in a while. These guys just go off for however long the microphone is on. I like to talk, too, and maybe I just resent the fact that they seem to

be able to just go on and on as long as they want about anything they want.

Secondly, they preach it like the Gospel; as if they have the lock on truth. But, maybe I’m guilty of that myself. I have opinions, someone once pointed out, and I tend to express them. Maybe I’m jealous because I don’t get to express them on a national platform like Glen and Rush and Michael do. Maybe I’m ticked off because

they each make a gazillion dollars a year expressing their opinions, while I just make the occasional relatively conservative reader swallow his coffee wrong. Which may be enough. One does what one can, after all.

I think that the third thing that makes me angry—and I have thought about this a lot—is that these three guys and their wannabes are all just that—wannabes. They’re all leeches. They make their livings from their hysterical reactions to the actions of others. They don’t do anything except blah, blah, blah in front of their devoted fans and allow their networks to sell bad beer, products to fight baldness and deodorant. They are all a bunch of blinkin’ Chicken Littles. “The sky is falling, the sky is falling!” they cry, “and it’s all someone else’s fault!”

If the sky is falling, how come you ain’t dead yet?

They produce nothing— unless you count the volumes of hot air they expel. They don’t pound nails, pump gas, sell groceries, wait tables, teach school, plow fields, shovel walks (I bet not even their own), drive trucks, work in hospitals, legislate, educate or meditate on anything except how they can agitate. They certainly don’t offer any real solutions to the “problems” they are so quick

and eager to point out. They just point and blame, point and blame; thus, as far as I’m concerned, making the problem worse.

I wasn’t going to finish this column. I had pretty much decided to put this little rant away and send in something about skiing, which I love. Instead I find myself called to write about something I find reprehensible, and all because Rush, that paragon of good health, pristine diet and peerless choices about drugs, picked today to take Michelle Obama to task for feeding her kids ribs. (Google it, and learn about how weird the media really is.)

Surely, I sometimes also find myself weighing in on someone else’s business like it’s mine, but Rush, you (expletive deleted) hypocrite. Get this. It’s no more of your damned business what Mrs. Obama feeds her kids than it is what Mrs. Smith down the street, who is also a decent parent, feeds hers. Get a life, Rush. Get a job. Anything, but shu-ut uu-up!

Whew! That felt good.Glen and Rush and Michael can certainly

be mesmerizing. Their vitriol springs from some deep well within themselves that makes them adroit and compelling. I think they actually believe what they are telling us. That’s something else that makes me angry, and it makes me angry because it scares me. They remind me in their rhetoric and blame-placing of Adolph Hitler, the angry man who set the world on fire with his rage and hatred some 75 years ago. He believed what he was saying, too; rising as it did out of a twisted persona, extremist logic and a deep hatred for his own roots.

So, I wonder what it is that Glen and Rush and Michael like about themselves. Is there anything, or do they just keep spouting to keep their own demons at bay? It’s hard to tell from my standpoint; and they may never shut up long enough to ask themselves the question. But maybe they should. The world situation could stand the break.

What is the point of vitriol? The Scenic Routeby Sandy Compton•

Sandy [email protected]

DiLuna’s Presents

220 Cedar St. Sandpoint

208.263.0846 Tick

ets

$12

adva

nce/

$15

day

of

even

t

Friday, March 18Doors open 5:30

Show 7:30

Mighty Squirrel

ADVANTAGE MarketingservicesHelping you break out of the box

Advantage Marketing offers insight, on-site and out-of-sight service

with your business in mind. I speak Sandpoint, and can help you get your

message out. Call me today, and we’ll go outside the lines together.

Kathleen Hyde

(208) 255-9449231 N. Third Avenue Ste 207

[email protected]

• Business Marketing• Event Coordination & Management• Group Promotions

Page �0 | The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. �0 No. 3| March �011

Experience

The Patient Protection & Affordable Care Act

One side argues for healthcare reform by pointing to the high infant mortality rate in the U.S. (6.8 per 1,000 compared to 2.4 in Sweden and 3.9 in Germany, for example). The other says that infant mortality is counted differently in the U.S. than it is in other developed countries, and therefore the claim is false. There the argument seems to have stopped, with each side choosing to believe that the other is distorting the facts or lying. But who is right? I decided to find out about this devilish detail.

The Centers for Disease Control says infant mortality is indeed counted differently in the U.S. and 14 of 19 European countries. They report all live births of any gestational age. Four countries only report live births after 22 weeks or weighing more than 500 grams. Their mortality rate looks lower because they exclude some of the deaths the U.S. counts.

But “when births at less than 22 weeks were excluded, the U.S... rate dropped... to 5.8... .” So both sides are right: the U.S. rate is considerably higher than in other developed countries and infant mortality is counted differently in the U.S., so the U.S. rate is inflated. Both sides distort the facts to fit their own agenda. Or, more probably, they just stopped with the facts they liked. Good news: they’re probably not just lying.

When the discussion stops, everybody goes away mad and distrusting of the other side. Continued discussion might lead to solutions. A closer look shows that the U.S. rate for premature births is actually lower than other countries’ up until 37 weeks of gestation. After 37 weeks the U.S. rate is 12.4, while the rest of Europe (except one) is

between 5.5 and 8.9.One of the major causes of premature

birth is the health care system and how it handles prenatal and birthing care. This is addressed in the Affordable Health Care Act

at: SEC. 2301. COVERAGE FOR FREESTANDING BIRTH CENTER SERVICES and other places in the bill. Was it being addressed before the act was passed? I don’t know, though the

percentage of pre-term births in the United States has risen 36 percent since 1984, and, after decades of decline, the rate did not decline significantly from 2000-2005.

Can we address this problem with the kind of regulation of private insurance contained in the Affordable Care Act? We’ll see.

Since it took me four hours to get this far, I continue to believe that the health care question has gotten too complicated for most people to understand. Worse, I doubt that most politicians understand or pursue these details. (Some may, since the Act addresses this issue. But they may just have been following party lines.) I reckon most vote the way they’re used to voting, and skip the devilish details. We continue to exacerbate our differences, while we should be looking for the common ground we need to solve these problems.

If you would like me to continue this series, have a question, a research topic, or a suggestion for me, or would like to contribute your own devilish detail, please contact me at: 208-304-9066 or docnangee(at)yahoo.com.

You can read the CDC briefing at http://tinyurl.com/yj33qhn.

The Devil’s in the Details By Nancy Gerth

Infant Mortality

And they don’t have to—after all, don’t we Americans believe if it’s ours, it’s ours and we can do with it what we want? Or

is and we want it, then

you have to give it to us and if you don’t, then you sponsor terrorism and we’ll

By the way, China wants that oil as well. Remember China? The people who loaned us all that money? China’s oil consumption is around 6.5 billion barrels a year, and is growing at 7 percent every year. It produces about 3.6 billion barrels every year. Does this math look good to anyone? Can anyone other than Sarah Palin and George Bush believe we can drill our way out of this problem? Anyone who doesn’t think we better hit the ground running to figure out how to fuel what we want fueled with something other than oil probably deserves to go back to an

: I could go on forever, but you’ll quit reading. So one final discussion for the American public. First, let’s have a true, independent analysis of what happened on September 11, 2001. The official explanation simply doesn’t hold water. This is one of those “who knew what, when” questions that must be answered—and people/institutions must

Speaking of accountability, you might be surprised to learn that I would not support an effort to impeach President Bush after the November elections. First, because that’s too late, and second, because more than Bush have been involved in crimes against the American people. What I would like to see are charges (at the least, charges of treason) brought against Bush, Cheney, et al. Bring the charges and let’s let the evidence of

They have ‘slipped the surly bonds of

earth’ and ‘touch the face of God.’

CoffeltFuneral Servicehelping those who are

left behind.

P.O. Box 949 • Sandpoint, Idaho

208-263-3133www.CoffeltFuneral.com

Member by invitation only

Moon Chapel PinecrestCemetery

Moon Crematory

M&E Custom Building LLCHomes Built for Living

Residential and Commercial ConstructionDan McMahon, General Contractor

Visit us at www.mebldg.com208.264.6700

Clark Fork High School’s 22nd Annual

Alumni & Friends

Tournament

March 11-13at Clark Fork High School First game begins at 6 pm on Friday, March 11

Gate prices $6 adults/$4 students K-12Weekend passes are $14 Adults/$10 students

••

Page �0 | The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. �0 No. 3| March �011 March �011| The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. �0 No. 3| Page �1

SANDPOINT EVENTSDOWNTOWN

SANDPOINT EVENTSMarch

� Sandpoint Chamber Business Showcase, �-� pm at the Bonnenr County Fairgrounds.� Twelfth Night, � pm, Panida Theater, �0�-��3-�1�110-1� The King’s Speech, Panida Theater, �:30 each night.11 Student Art Show Reception, �:30, Old Power House1� Heuga Center Vertical Express for MS, Schweitzer Mountain1� Good Night and Good Luck, 1 to � pm, Sandpoint Library, Free13 Grom Stomp, Schweitzer Mtn.13 Storytelling Co. at DiLuna’s, � pm, �0�-��0-1��11� Not Quite Punk live music, Panida Little Theater, � pm. �0�-��3-�1�11� Handsome Little Devils, �:30 pm, Panida Little Theater, Vaudeville Nouveau, �0�-��3-�13�1�-�0 Stomp Games, Schweitzer Mountain1� Sandpoint Waldorf School Annual Benefit Auction & Dinner, 5:30 pm, Sandpoint Event Center �0�-30�-��131� Battle of the Bands, � pm, Panida Theater. �0�-��3-�1�1�� Distorted Perspective Art opening reception �:30 pm Old Power House.�� A Visit with Erik, Panida Little Theater, �:30 and �:30 �0�-��3-�1�1.�� Sandpoint Junior Miss, Sandpoint High School, � pm. AJM.org.

PLUS:Music on the Bridge - live music noon-3 pm, third Saturday of the month at the Cedar St. Bridge cafe. FREE. �0�-��-�3��

Winery Music - Live music every Friday night at Pend d’Oreille WineryPub Music with Truck Mills

Blues Jam every Monday night at Eichardt’sTrivia every Tuesday night at MickDuff’s.Tuesdays with Mike, Trinity at City Beach, � to � pm.

DI LUNA’S207 Cedar St. • 208.263.0846

www.dilunas.com

Cafe Open Tuesday-Friday 7 am to 3 pm

Open weekends starting at 8 am

World Cuisine Night

Every Saturday night starting at 6:30 pm.

Explore different cuisines from around the world. Live music.

Regular menu also available.

YOUR IMAGE, YOUR WAYwww.ImageMakerPhotoandVideo.com

320 North First Ave ~ 208.263-5322

In-store Photo Studio • Film & Digital Printing • Video to DVD • Photo

Restoration • Classes • Cameras • Camera Repair • Accessories

Visit www.DowntownSandpoint.com for a complete calendar of events

An Visit with ErikPanida Little Theater

Mar. ��2:30 & 7:30

Experience Downtown Sandpoint!

Page �� | The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. �0 No. 3| March �011

I’ve been praying more lately. And, I know exactly where that urge has come from. There is something about the knitting together of a new life inside our daughter-in-law that brings me to pray. I powerfully want this little one to enter the world healthy, to be loved, and to love.

This is not, of course, the first time I have prayed so fervently. I prayed so for the release of my father as I held his hand by a hospital bed in his final hours. I’ve prayed that the Lord might soften the hearts of men whom the world saw as tyrants—Saddam Hussein comes to mind. And I have prayed in advance of U.S. national elections that the Lord would lift up the person most capable of leading our nation into a new era of peace and justice.

Sometimes my prayers burst out in near shouts of joy and praise. On blue-bird days, two thirds up the quad at Schweitzer Mountain Resort, I’ve twisted left in the chair to behold the extraordinary beauty of the sky, the lake, the mountains, and the snow. Prayers of thankfulness burst out. And on quiet cloudless nights in our North Country it is hard not to stand in awe of creation and utter a silent prayer as the mantle of stars hovers overhead and a meteoroid streaks past.

Like many of us, I pay special attention to the Lord’s Prayer or Our Father taught to the disciples by Jesus. In my time abroad, I have worshipped with others who gave voice to this prayer in Russian, Polish, Czech, German, and Korean. But of all the ways this prayer has been lifted heavenward, the prayer which touched me most was spoken by a sister

from Syria. She prayed the Lord’s prayer in Aramaic—the common language which Jesus spoke. The connection was powerful!

Sister Joan Chittister, a courageous Christian voice in these challenging times and my sometimes spiritual guide, shares these thoughts. “Prayer makes us aware of the elements of the divine in human life, bringing us into contact with the God-life in and around us... . Prayer is the act of beginning the process of becoming one with the One we seek—eventually, melting into God completely.”

In my self-created busy life, how often am I aware of the image of God in those around me? How often am I silent amidst the wonders of creation? How willing am I to beat back the popular demands of technology (more email, another Facebook post, a text message) to be more contemplative? How willing am I to forego listening to another news broadcast or scanning the daily headlines to create space for quiet reflection?

Have I got this prayer thing down? No. Am I working on it? Yes. In my faith walk, prayer is an essential element as I seek to be in relationship with God. I think, however, that Sister Joan has it right. Prayer is “the act of beginning the process…” But, so much more is required: reading Scripture, silent reflection, corporate worship, reading of or speaking with others on the same journey, and living the faithful life—not just pondering it. As always, the walk continues this late winter day.

On prayerClark Fork Baptist Church

Main & Second • Clark Fork

Sunday School............9:45 amMorning Worship............11 amEvening Service...............6 pmWednesday Service.........7 pm

Call 266-0405 for transportation

Bible Preaching and Traditional Music

Gary’s Faith WalkGary [email protected]

Colleen’s Coffee CornerLocated at Colburn Culver Rd & Hwy. 200 • Open M-F 5:30 am to 5:30 pm • Sat 7-2

THE SURVEY SAYS:Two out of three people drink coffee

at work.

One out of two workers say they’re not

as productive without coffee

Nurses and doctors are the top

professions for drinking coffee.

So if you want to be productive at work, don’t

forget to stop for your coffee!

•

•

•

There’s Hope if you need physical

therapy.There’s also Sandpoint.

Caribou Physical TherapyHope: 264-5067 • Sandpoint: 265-8333

www.CaribouPHysicalTherapy.com

Tighten up your cinch and hang on to your hat!

LIFE IS A RODEOpresented by All Things Theatrical

Cowboy Poetry • Music• Drama

Fun for the Whole Family

March 25 at 7 PMMarch 26 1:30 PM and 7 PMat the Sandpoint Events Center

corner of Pine and Euclid in SandpointAdmission is Free.

Donations will be accepted with a portion of the proceeds to benefit Life Choices Pregnancy Center

Page �� | The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. �0 No. 3| March �011 March �011| The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. �0 No. 3| Page �3

When Bob started to wake up he was lying on his back, but he didn’t know what on; it wasn’t the ground, at least not pavement or grass. A face he didn’t recognize leaned over him.

“Robert Hawks?” Bob’s focus wandered past the face to the

sky. A shadow swept across the blue, then another and another; it was the blades of a helicopter spinning slowly.

“Robert E. Hawks?” It was more frantic this time.

“Ya.” “Can you give us a contact we can call?”His wife’s cell number rattled out. “Good, what’s your address?”“Um... 4... 1... ”“Any more? What street?”Bob could not remember the address

were he had lived for over 30 years. “We are going to put you in the helicopter

for L.A. County Hospital. They handle head trauma. When we saw your bicycle helmet we called for air lift right away.”

I remember when Bob (and there were also several less dignified names) came into my life as a newborn 60 years ago. To the limited perception of a three-year-old, he was just a new kid in the house; to my older sister he was the best doll ever.

We don’t get to see each other much anymore because of geography but we talk regularly.

Last weekend, after a couple of days, I discovered my phone was missing and found it in the car. That is not unusual, for me, but to find I had a missed call was. My sister said Bob had been in an accident the day before—now two days before.

A quiet Valentine’s Day dinner at home with my wife turned into a series of anxious calls.

Bob puts thousands of miles on his bike. Our talks often take me back to the day when I was riding like that also.

A few months ago, we spent an evening on phone and online. He had just bought

another new road bike and we were checking it out. The technology is much different now. This bike is all carbon fiber. The tubes are oval rather than round for aerodynamics and the spokes are flat instead of round wire, and no pedals, just a stem where he clips his special shoes. No longer do they use “rat traps” to strap your feet, almost permanently, to the bike. The shifters on this new bike are attached to the brake handles. His new helmet looked like something from outer space; not like the old brain buckets I used.

When he talked, I could hear his excitement. He talked about “flying” along the bike paths and keeping up with traffic on the busy L. A. streets.

We talked about street riding. I had found when I rode intentionally, taking my space responsibly, not making the drivers guess what I was doing, I was safer. Just as driving a car, be predictable. He agreed and added, with this bike, he can almost accelerate with the cars, which made him feel safer.

Now I was thinking about that “new kid” taking his space on those streets. Sure, there have been miles and miles of safe riding. But it sounds like there were a few feet that were not. I was wondering how good those fancy new helmets are.

Years ago, I had seen some wrecks that made me believe in bicycle headgear. After seeing several scary injuries, I decided I would sacrifice the extra weight and wear one. Then there was the day I was in a fast moving pack and contact was made. Going over the handlebars, I put that extra weight to good use. The helmet was the first thing to hit the pavement followed by protective eyewear. I will never forget the noise they made hitting, scraping and sliding along the asphalt.

When it was all over I had a broken arm and needed some stitches in my lower face, but I never had any sensation of head or neck injury at that time or later, thanks to the brain bucket.

Finally an answer to my call. Bob’s wife

picked up. They had just settled in after getting home from the orthopedic surgeon. He has a broken collarbone on the left side and lots of pain from hitting and bouncing down the road. His head, though, seemed to have fared quite well. Obviously, there was some trauma—he was knocked out for a while—but after a few hours, there didn’t seem to be any lasting condition. I started feeling better when he said he told them, “I’m a Hawks, that’s the way we are. You should meet my older brother.”

He started filling in details; as they were loading him into the chopper someone said, “I can’t believe there was a live head in this helmet.” That’s when I got scared again. Being a very visual thinker I suddenly saw my little brother lying crumpled and unconscious in the middle of a busy Los Angeles intersection.

He said there are more gaps than memories, starting just before entering the intersection until he was at the hospital. One thing he does remember: as they were preparing him for the trip, he heard someone say, “Hey, that old guy was riding a four thousand dollar bike.” Bob started to laugh but it hurt.

The satellite computer he carries said he was doing 18.8 mph when everything stopped. He still isn’t real sure what happened and no one who saw it has come forward. He thinks someone came by fast and close and blew him out, then sucked him back in and he lost it. I have felt that sensation and I know how fast it can happen. He was finishing a 50-mile ride so there could have been a degree of fatigue to figure in. His bike doesn’t appear to have been hit, but the wheels are twisted a bit. All of that would be consistent with a blow over. Bicyclists feel this phenomenon often but an actual accident is rare.

Yesterday in town, I watched a man riding in and out of traffic not paying much attention and not wearing a helmet. The folks I was with wouldn’t let me tell him to stop being stupid.

I know how fun bicycling is. However, there is a responsibility to yourself and others when sharing the road with cars. Yes, there can be accidents, but if Bob can do thousands of miles in L. A. traffic with only one accident, it is possible. Nothing is completely safe but safety can be part of the sport and the fun.

Finally, HELMETS. They were dorky looking when I wore them and I think they are dorkier looking now. However, some broken plastic looks much, much better than a broken skull.

Heal fast little brother; you old man with a fancy bike you.

Ernie [email protected]

He’ll always be my little brother The Hawk’s Nestby Ernie Hawks

•

600 Schweitzer Plaza Drive (Behind Super 8 Motel) Ponderay • 263-2600

Chip repair • Windshield replacement • Aquapel

treatment • Window tinting


The Loud, Silent Voices

Have you ever heard voices from someone not there? If you do, you might think that you have a mental problem—and you just might—but could it be something else? Sometimes it may be a crow cawing outside; sometimes it is the neighbors talking and the way they sound at certain times can be transmitted through walls. But other times, when you’re alone, could the voices be something else?

Once, about 25 years ago when I was looking after my elderly parents, I had managed to get out of the house for a few hours and hang out at a friend’s place. I got in that night about 1 am. My mother was in bed; my Dad, whose back bothered him often, slept on one of our couches, which was firmer. That night he was asleep on one of them.

In the bathroom, I was brushing my teeth when I was sure that I heard my father right outside the closed door say my familiar name: “Larry?” Thinking he had to relieve himself I replied in a low voice, “Yeah. I’ll be right out.”

Hurrying to finish, I rinsed and went to the door. No Dad. I peeked out into the living room and heard Dad’s snore coming out of the dark. Was I coming down with a mental disorder? I have had one or two similar experiences over the last 20 years, one of them where I live now when I thought I heard my brother’s voice.

The last time was just over ten years ago and the voice I heard sounded like one of my then friends, who often visited. I thought for a moment that I had left the door unlocked and that he had just let himself in.

This leads me to two brothers, one of whom I am still friends with, and their experience at an old 1930s era cabin on Reeder Bay on Priest Lake. The two stayed there off and on a couple of summers when they were logging, instead of making a nightly trip back to Priest River or Sandpoint.

It was in the mid 1980s. I remember staying there two times, in August and again in late September ‘85 as my friends were winding things up for the year.

We sat there, drinking a batch of their homemade elderberry wine (no, we weren’t hammered) and watching the beginning of the second season of “The Cosby Show” on the cabin’s 80s vintage, 15-inch color TV.

The nights were beginning to get cooler, and warmth usually just came from the small wood stove. I sat there in my new leather jacket, listening to and joining in the

brothers’ mostly good natured levity.The older brother finally went to bed but

the younger one and I sat there for a while, talking.

Turning the TV off we listened to the wind and sound of the lake lapping against the shore a hundred yards away. I was about ready to go to bed when my younger friend spoke up about something that had happened at the beginning of the season when they first opened up the old place in late April.

I sat there sipping my wine, smelling the stale dankness of the place and listened as my friend related the following.

They hadn’t done much that first week except to get their equipment ready and moved to the log site that their father had bid on and won the previous fall. The area they would log could have been done in a matter of weeks, a month or so tops for a larger operation, but a small father and sons business would take all summer. The father was still hauling logs from another job and had a couple more to get to. He would primarily be doing most of this work, though he would help out with felling when he could.

By the end of that first week, they were down to dregs in the food department. Two young working guys, 18 and 21, went through the groceries fast. The younger was more of a mechanic and volunteered to stay the weekend when his brother went back to Sandpoint for more supplies and to take care of some other business.

Now my years of friendship with them both and my continued friendship with the younger man continues to this day. I can attest that the latter was more down to earth and common sensed than his older brother. That is why the story seems valid to me.

The older brother took off early Saturday morning and would return either Sunday evening before dark or as early as possible Monday morning.

Alone, my younger friend worked mostly on the skidder, an older 60s model, most of Saturday. By 5:30 he decided it was in as good condition as he could get it and went inside to wash up and see what was left of the grub before hitting the hay.

After a can of Dinty More stew and some two-day-old biscuits from Thursday’s breakfast he went out on the small porch for a few minutes. The area was deserted. The seasonal people wouldn’t be coming up for

another week or two and the place felt like a ghost town.

Turning to go back in, he heard, plain as day, what he thought was his brother’s voice from around some brush on the road side of the cabin. Maybe his brother had come back when he had been eating. Stepping the several yards to the area, there was no one in sight. He was sure he had heard his brother’s usual smart... uh, name for him: “Hey, F---face.”

Not knowing what to think, my friend headed into bed, locked the doors and rolled up in his sleeping bag on the old mattress of one of the two twin beds. (Neither bothered with linens.)

Waking up later, he glanced at his battery-powered alarm clock. What had woken him at 2 am? Mouth dry, he got up for a drink of water in the small bathroom when from the kitchen area came (similar to when I thought I had heard my father): “Hey, you about through in there?” Again, in what sounded just like his brother’s voice.

Now I knew both of my parents were in the house and thought my experience was one of them, but remember, my buddy was in an old cabin, by himself, practically in the middle of nowhere.

The hairs on his neck standing up, he rushed out, hit the old light switch near the front door and looked around. No brother, no nothing. Well, let’s say my friend is not shy around guns and he went for his rif le leaning in the corner by his bed. Turning on all the lights, he examined the interior of the cabin. Nothing. Going outside he circled the place, shining his powerful f lashlight into the trees and along the sides of the cabin. Nothing. No sign of anyone having been around, just the sound of the wind, the waves on Priest Lake, and crickets.

His brother got back late Sunday afternoon but my friend mentioned nothing, knowing his brother would be without mercy in the teasing department. As far as I know, I am the only one he’s told.

They stayed at the cabin one more summer, but had no further experiences and I have no idea what the source of his mystery voice—or of mine—was. A phantom voice which is able to mimic people we know.

If a reader has had a similar experience or would like to share another mystery from the back roads of the valley of shadows, feel free to email me at fury_larry(at)yahoo.com.

“... of any living voice but one so far that I hear it only as a bar...”

-Edwin Arlington Robinsonwith Lawrence Fury

ShadowSThEValley of

Page �� | The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. �0 No. 3| March �011 March �011| The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. �0 No. 3| Page ��

FilesFromThE of The River Journal’s

SurrealisT Research BureaUDoes former President Bush Know his ass from a hole in

the ground? A TRJ/SRB Special Investigative Report by Jody Forest

In reading former President Bush’s (the younger) recent memoir Decision Points I was struck by Chapter 7’s labored attempts to dispel the persistent rumors that he couldn’t tell his own ass from a hole in the ground. He opens the section by first relating the history and very definition of “holes;” from the 1950s Mohole Project he segues into the Pacific Ocean’s Marianas Trench and Challenger Deep, the earth’s deepest point, with stops along the way at famous pits such as the volcanic boreholes of Iceland, which inspired Jules Verne’s classic tale Journey to the Center of the Earth.

Moving on briskly he delves into the mysteries and wonders of the Anus, from Gluteus Maximus to the spectral splendors of the sphincter as he endeavors to prove his mastery of the subject, though this reviewer found his lengthy expositions on the colon and digestive system both unnecessary and almost certainly ghost-written, likely copied from some high school biology textbook.

He goes on to quote his mom, Barbara Bush, on the ridicule and humiliation he had endured as a child being teased by the other children at the schoolyard. They’d often poke two holes in the playground at recess and ask him which one was his ass and which one was a hole in the ground. Poor Georgie never seemed to guess correctly and would often run home in tears. “You’ll be the decider one day,” she tells him soothingly.

It was this inability to differentiate between the two that led to his “lost period” of drinking and drugs, relieved only when meeting his soon-to-be wife Laura, who patiently over time led him to “the way” by reading him aloud countless tomes on both subjects, from Dr. Seuss’s Mole in the Hole to Wm. S. Burrough’s Queer. Rejuvenated, he

invested heavily in oil drilling, driven by the need to drill ever deeper, each new hole dug reinforcing his growing conviction that he, George W. Bush,

not only knew the difference between the two but was rapidly

becoming an authority!He then goes on to

defend his naming of so many top “assholes” in his administration, from Veep Dick Cheney (widely recognized as El Supremo Asshole numero uno) to Sec’y of Defense Rumsfeld, who himself, when asked the difference between his own ass and a hole in the ground, famous replied ramblingly, “There’s the known and the unknown and you know you don’t know one and the other, though not unknown, becomes known only through the identification of the unknown.”

The theory that the entire Gulf war was simply an excuse to drill more test holes gets short shrift from Dubya. “I can drill all I want right here in the US of A” he says, “and the fact that the Middle East has more than half the world’s supply of assholes never entered into it.” To his credit he’s quick to recognize an asshole like Osama Bin Laden; however he

can’t seem to pick correctly whichever hole Osama’s been hiding in. “All those holes n’ caves in Tora Bora all look alike to me,” he admits.

Traveling down life’s Hershey Highway has certainly been a wild Mr. Toad’s Ride for Bush 44; however Decision Points still left this reviewer unsatisfied. I suspect we’ll never know the final answer to the question until someone finally has the courage to confront him on camera and say, “Mr. President, here’s two holes in the ground. Now, would you please tell the American public which one is your ass and which one’s a hole in ground?” Sadly, I suspect he’ll pick the wrong one.

Afterward: Astute readers may have already

surmised it’s time for my annual April Fool’s Day article, and yes, this is it. I never truly read Decision Points. However, idly browsing through the new books section of the Sandpoint Library recently I picked up a copy, flipped it open and without thinking, perused a few sentences before the true horror of what I had done immolated me like a flame. I immediately flung down the offending book and did the only thing a rational, honest man could ever do. Grasping my lower jaw with my right hand and my upper jaw with my left hand I began painfully pulling my skin away from my body until all my scalp was loosened and met at the nape of my neck. In disgust, I cast my bloody face upon the floor and walked out of the library and drove home to Clark Fork to expatiate my great Sin.

So I remain, monk-like and effervescent to this day. However, I’ve checked Lost and Found and no one’s turned in my face. If anyone has it, would you please turn it in?

‘til next time, All Homage to Xena!

Plan Ahead!On April 22, the Panhandle Animal Shelter Thrift Shoppe will have a truck in the Sandpoint area picking up gently used items. PAS is accepting furniture, clothing, kitchen items and more. To schedule a pick-up or for more i n f o r m a t i o n , please call the Thrift Shoppe at 208-263-0706. Donations are tax deductible and extremely appreciated.


Lakeview Funeral Home, Sandpoint, Idaho.

Get complete obituaries online at www.LakeviewFuneral.org

Coffelt Funeral Home, Sandpoint, Idaho.

Get complete obituaries online at www.CoffeltFuneral.com

December 2, 1908 - February 10, 2011. Born Ankeny, Iowa. Began teaching career in 1929. Married Alton ‘Doc’ Amundson, celebrated 64 years of marriage. Lived in Oregon, moved to Sandpoint in ‘95 after Doc’s passing. Mother of two.

DORA DEANE RANDOLPH AMUNDSON

March 25, 1956 - February 17, 2011. Born Newark, N.J. Married Deborah Werrett (div.). A professional welder, worked throughout the U.S., moved to Sandpoint in ‘93. Father of one.

CHRISTOPHER CANTRELLA

March 10, 1923 - February 19, 2011. Born Portland, Ore. Married Ray Davis in 1946, mother of two.

MARY C. TRITTO DAVIS

Born and died February 16, 2011, the daughter of Danny and Tonya Moering of Sandpoint.

GRACE ELIZABETH MOERING

May 14, 1922 - February 14, 2011. Born Harrisville, Miss., married Earl Smith in ‘44. Lived in Tennessee and Texas, moved to Coeur d’Alene in 2004. Celebrated 66 years with Earl. Mother of two.

GRACE HARPER SMITH

December 14, 1950 - February 24, 2011. Born Marathon, Iowa. Degree in Psychology from ISU. Moved to Sandpoint in ‘76, married Frank Wakeley (div). Mother of two. Partner of Paul Dukes.

VALERIE LEROSE WAKELEY

The time has never been better to quit smoking.In Idaho, Panhandle Health District offers free help to quit smoking including

general adult consultations that include two 1-1 1/2 hour appointments followed by telephone support. Consultations are by appointment. Call 208-

415-5143 or those in Boundary, Bonner, Shoshone and Benewah counties can call 208-415-5143 for resources and referrals.

November 2, 1948 - February 22, 2011. Passed surrounded by family in Athol, Idaho. Look for a complete obituary online.

WILLIAM JONAS

March 4, 1931 - February 11, 2011. Born Thompson, Ohio. Worked at Barker Engineering and Reliance Electric as an editor of instruction manuals until her retirement in 1991. Moved to Bonners Ferry in 1999.

VIRGINIA ELEANOR LINCKS CLANTON

April 8, 1956 - February 12, 2011. Born Sandpoint, Idaho. Worked as a carpenter. Lived in Colorado, New Mexico and California before returning to Sandpoint. Father of one.

KEVIL WILLIAM GARVEY

August 2, 1930 - February 13, 2011. Born Champaign, Ill. Worked as an LPN and moved to Sandpoint in 2002.

VIRGINIA LEE TUCKER

September 25, 1925 - February 13, 2011. A Sandpoint native who served with the U.S. Army in WWII. Look for a complete obituary

online.

ROBERT E. “BOB” TURNBULL

April 29, 1940 - February 21, 2011. Born locally in same farm as his father. Married Donna Allen. Father of five. Worked for Bonner Builders and drove semi for Boise Cascade. Retired in 1991. Celebrated 48

years with Donna.

JACK ALLEN PETERSON

August 24, 1923 - February 7, 2011. Born Hammond, Ind., moved to Sandpoint in 1954. Worked for Sandpoint Laundromat. Mother of eight children.

BARBARA LUCILLE STEPHAN PETERSON

Providing helping hands when you need them

most. Support services for the end of life.

Witness a Miracle

Bonner General’s

Home Health & Hospice Services

208.265.1007


Everywhere I go people are saying that spring is just around the corner. Apparently I have been looking around the wrong corner as I have not seen any sign of it showing up yet!

But while we’re sitting here in our snug-as-a-bug cubicles watching one cold front followed by another cold front just a week apart, I am reminded of just how lucky we are that we don’t live back east where snow comes in feet not inches and the temperature ranges way below brass monkey cold with high winds to boost it along.

While we, on the other hand, are sitting here drinking our West Coast lattes and whining about our latest blanket of snow with the temperatures down below freezing.

If you have been paying attention, all winter this cycle has been accruing every ten days to two weeks, with temperatures from down below freezing to the upper 40s. It’s at this high point we start to think about spring being just around some corner. However, as our little cold front chugs up the Rocky Mountains like the Little Engine That Could, it picks up all the cold temperature it can carry and descends down the other side, picking up speed with

nothing to hold it back but a barbwire fence somewhere in Montana. And by the time it hits the Great Plains it collides with the southern updraft of moisture from the Gulf of Mexico, and dumps it on the eastern states with a vengeance.

In the meantime, we are sitting back and reading a good book (probably Boots ‘n’ Beans) with our cabinets and storerooms full of food and extra water, plus coal oil lamps, plus a winter’s supply of firewood as well as propane heating stoves. Some of us even have the latest addition, a generator we can switch on to bring everything back up to normal activity: TV, well pump for water etc, etc. so we can watch the news from back east of six lanes of stalled traffic on eastern freeways with snow drifted up past their windshields and all stalled out for as far as the eye can see.

It’s not like they didn’t see it coming, it’s been on TV for for days. These storms come in cycles and you can see them coming several days ahead of time; when they hit it takes them three days to pass through. Just work four days a week and stay off the roads allowing the snow removal people to clean the city and start over when it is clean; It takes less time to clean it and more production in the work place.

PS. I did get a lot of response from my story about the rat in the chili bowl; I

wrote it just to see if anyone was reading my stories. Apparently they may not after that story aired. However, some people thought it was a disgustingly funny February issue of the River Journal.

I have noticed that my computer office

has become more and

more cluttered with garden catalogs and orders of seeds are filling up our drop box at the mail box, Apparently The Garden Queens are going to strike it rich this year. If, in fact, we have a good growing year, there are going to be some good munchies and crunches and vine ripe tomato sandwiches—my favorite!

I have been asked to give a talk at the community center this summer as part of their artist program. We will probably have Bar-B-Q just to entice you to come. Last time I spoke there it was standing room only and some were turned away. Also, we won’t serve chili.

Stop in and you might find out just how funny cancer can be. I have beaten it twice at our local hospital cancer center. Colon twice and liver; so don’t be afraid of it. Too many people are even afraid to take a test for it, afraid they will find something, and if they do they think their life is over. I’m here to say “Not so.” You will get a kick out of my talk and a good dinner you won’t have to cook;

Boots

From the Mouth of the River

Boots Reynolds

D & Z AutoQuality and Affordable

Auto Repair and Maintenance

Chris Gottwald323 McGhee Road Ste 105

Sandpoint

265-8881


I started playing basketball at the ripe old age of six as recess in the wintertime meant time well spent in the gymnasium!

Basketball meant freedom. A reasonable excuse to run, yell, grunt, shout, growl, bark and make obscene faces all or partly at the same time, not to mention how to look nonchalant when the back of your head stopped a mid-court pass. Crazy! This was better ‘n sex! ‘Course, I was only six and didn’t really know what that was and considering the rumors I’d heard, basketball seemed a heck of a lot more fun (at the time).

And all of this meant you were not at your desk memorizing guzintas or the right way to spell things like elokwint!

I went from first grade through ninth in the same building. Not due to a mental condition like some suggest, just a nice, small town atmosphere with several hundred year-round participants who were frugal enough to keep it simple. And seeing as how we were all together, the faculty thought it’d be entertaining to put on a whole-school tournament, wherein the ninth graders were captains of teams they got to pick out of a line-up of all the younger boys in school.

This was our main source of mid-winter exercise aimed at burning off all the fat stored up during the holidays and to get us through the long mud season in which many of our moms would chain us up to avoid having to mop floors.

And it was fun!The only down side I ever noticed, which

I find ironic, was that the uniforms fit the junior high kids and any first or second grader would all but disappear in a mass of satin folds and wrinkles. This presented the golden opportunity to show the entire town how you looked with your trunks in a puddle at your feet.

They would go down if you went up. They went down if you ran. If you tried to look impressive and stick out your chest, they’d also fall down. And the jerseys were so big, the armpits exposed body parts only our moms were aware of.

The coaching staff made sure the older guys understood that the ‘pups’ all needed plenty of action for the benefit of the audience.

One of my very first plays came deep inside the fourth quarter of my team’s first game, where we were comfortably behind and sure to be humiliated anyways. So I actually got to come off the bench and get some action under my belt. Actually, a belt is what I really needed.

Our captain led us down court, with me following on his flank. As he set up a screen in front of the opposing guard, he handed me the ball and said, “Shoot.” I felt my trunks slip a little so I widened my stance and stuck out my belly to hold things up. “Shoot!” yelled a couple hundred eager onlookers. I recognized

a lot of my own gene pool in that chorus too, converting a sizeable portion of my focus into fear of failure.

Now I wasn’t strong enough to get that big, heavy ball all the way up to the hoop with one arm, so I used both in an underhanded way, from between the knees. I hadn’t actually practiced this maneuver prior to creating it which showed up in the execution as the ball ricocheted off my captain’s nose, then mine, then paused weightless above while I studied the look on the startled face looking back at me before bouncing off my topknot and wandering out of bounds. It seemed to take a while; maybe it was just me.

The ref noticed two nosebleeds and promptly declared, “Double-dribble, ha, ha, ha!” I held my nose, picked up my trunks and went back to the bench where our coach put a clothes pin on my gushing nostrils, patted my little behind, and sent me back out on the floor.

My pride was a little bruised but I decided I’d better make some kind of showing for all the fans holding down the bleachers and pointing at my clothes pin. So the next time I got the ball, I tried driving the baseline like I’d seen others do, until my forehead ran right into a kneecap belonging to the biggest kid in school, who for a giant could move pretty damn fast! He and the ball were at the other end of the court making a lay-up before I could get my trunks resurrected (for the seventeenth time).

My nose was goin’ numb and I didn’t

much care if I bled out or not after this much embarrassment, so I used the clothes pin to connect my trunks to my jersey and stood there pregnantly (look it up, it fits), while my team came back down the floor with the ball. The captain dribbled up to me and yelled, “Where’d you learn to play this game, anyway?”

“From you!” I offered and at the same time regretted. We were down by a few hundred points anyway so he let it go for the time being. Two months later, I was to catch one of his hardballs fresh off the end of a Louisville Slugger with my fresh little mouth while playing marbles, of all things. Now whenever I hear that old phrase “what goes around comes around,” I always see that ol’ hardball ‘freeze-framed’ right in front of my nose and I often duck as a result. I should mention here that I was so short in first grade that I had to stand on my imagination to get a drink out of the wall fountains.

One minute left on the clock and I was desperate to save face. In the previous few I’d managed to create the inspiration for enough snide remarks from my peers to get me through college (if I were to ever live that long) and as I slowly contemplated that thought the ball, again, rearranged the expression I was wearing. My focus was beginning to waver. The crowd brought me back around and I realized the ball was in my hands! Being well under three feet tall, I gave it the same look I usually reserved for inattentive elbows. Noticing this made me giggle and the sixth grader in front

Scott [email protected]


208-263-0582 • www.MountainStove.com

1225 Michigan St., Sandpoint, IdahoTues-Fri 9 to 5, Sat. 9 to 3 or 4

Mountain Spa & Stove

Time is running out for the federal tax exemption! Stop in today... save up to

37% on wood stoves in stock!

Now playing Water: the experience

Spa Clearance!

Save $4000 to $5000

Ask about our great deals on stoves

Renewable Energy Systems

[email protected]

Corner of 5th and Cedar

Solar Panels

Storage Batteries

Water Pumps

Power Inverters

Grid-Tie Systems

E�cient Appliances

...and much more

Packaged Systems &Free Custom Design

of me decided he’d had enough. But when he slapped the ball from my grip he flattened a portion of my left hand and the ref called him for it.

So, there I was, at the foul line and I think on the verge of my first of many experiences with tunnel vision. The players were all lined up and leaning forward in anticipation. Half wore red on white, the others white on red. I had a little more red on my white than the others did but that was okay; it had a certain atmosphere about it. I pictured Washington crossing the Delaware with a bloodied nose and a ‘flat-top’ haircut, one of his boots up on the prow, arms crossed thoughtfully over a big, baggy jersey. I giggled again; couldn’t help it. “Some time today,” the ref instructed. “Yeahs” echoed around the key.

No pressure. I bounced the ball a couple of times and ran through what I already knew of physics. I remembered one phrase in particular: “For every action, there’s an equal and opposite reaction.” This sure seemed true of older brothers and I reasoned the same must be true of basketball as well.

I folded my elbows, bringing the ball to my chest, and stared up that tunnel I mentioned at the hoop so far, far away. I gave it everything my paltry biceps could afford but being stalwartly right-handed, the ball went hard left straight into a red-jersied forehead, up to the backboard, rolled around the rim a few times and dropped in.

I looked over at the kid who’d given me the assist and his trunks were on the floor. So I guessed that to be the opposite reaction.

I have yet to find professional basketball to be nearly as entertaining or educational as those early years. Maybe if they used more kids and less money.

No, this photo below is not a young Scott Clawson. It is, however, a young Dustin Gannon who was small for his age (this photo is from junior high) and understands well Scott’s problems with too-large jerseys.

the river journal march 2011

Documents

news briefs10 unions

bad newsa news magazine

sidemarch free

free marketneed reliable

free site survey

idaho 501c3 corporation

areas of bonner county

love notes16