FREE - TAKE ONE THE REGULAR JOE FREE - TAKE ONE

Mindi L. Phillips, Editor

As I turn 40 this month, there are so many events that come to mind. There are the birthdays past, the births of my children, even the birth of this paper. Yes, the Regular Joe is having a birthday of sorts. You see, we are at our 10th issue now! We make changes almost monthly, as we grow and change. Much like in real life, we have to adapt to the changing needs of others as well as the changes in ourselves. I can’t always expect to be what I was. Some months, writing comes hard to me. Other times, it just flows forth. This month, it was a toss-up, and I took it day by day.

As I delivered the last issue across Northwest Missouri, I thought, as I often do, “I wonder if anyone even reads this.” Many times I get through my deliveries, spurred on by just one or two issues left in a pile of what was 50 upon delivery the prior month. Success!! Sometimes I am met with the hard reality that a pickup location is just not ideal, and my efforts at that particular site have been all but wasted. It is occasionally difficult to separate the lack of interest in the paper from my own self-worth. After all, I spend considerable effort getting the Joe ready, tweaking and refining, long before it goes to print, let alone into your hands.

Yes, it’s much like the way we are molded before we are born. And of course, then we are sent kicking and screaming into the harsh reality, just like the latest issue is slapped, not on the backside by an old country doctor, but as it’s tossed onto the newsstand where, hopefully, you will later find it. I’m feeling a bit like the proverbial stork just writing about it!

Well, as it came to pass on my last delivery day, way back in that snowy week in early February, I was getting that downtrod-den feeling, well worn by the long route and from the recent nights I’d spent hunched over my laptop. I was well on my way to thinking that maybe this silly little paper was just a nuisance, one more in a newsrack, bent on finding its way to the recycling bin.

I made my way up I-35, long past the Bethany exits, farther than Eagleville’s welcoming truck stops, to my very last delivery before I’d reach the Iowa border. (As a matter of fact, when I leave this roadside stop, I head west for Allendale, and though I have yet to leave the state, I am greeted by a sign “welcoming” me to our fine Missouri!)

As I entered this oasis of diesel, I started around the corner to make a fast drop of the lastest Joe. I wanted to duck out, in case I was seen by the teen behind the counter. (“Poor lady. Doesn’t she know that no one reads that rag?”) My arm halfway on its route to the rack, I was frozen by the voice of the older gentleman in the booth before me.

“Hand me one of those papers. That’s a pretty interesting paper!” he said as he reached out with a smile.That old boy, whether he knew it or

not, made my day. Actually he made this whole endeavor worth my time and trouble.

Still learning, still growing, “Joe” and I are enjoying this birthday!

Mindi

cover photo by Jennifer Farmer

From the Desk of Joe Northwest2

3Our “Regular” Contributors:

Jay Kerner, founderMindi Phillips, publisher/editor

Danny Phillips, musicRich Piper, editorial

Thomas Williams, movies

Contact Regular Joe Northwest816-596-0701

northwest@regularjoepaper.com

PO Box 76Union Star, MO 64494

www.regularjoepaper.comClick “Northwest!”

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Regular Joe Northwest:We cover NWMO like no one else!

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HyVee, Dollar General, and Walmartnorth of Hwy 36 and west of I-35.

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New And Ongoing Live Music Events...Call ahead to confirm in case of weather cancellations!

ALBANY1st & 3rd Fridays: Country Style Band, 7pm (TLC Rental Hall) (PHOTO)

CLARKSDALESundays: Clarksdale Opry, 2pm (Hawman Center)

FILLMOREFridays: Music and Dance, 7pm (Fillmore Community Hall)

GENTRYFri 3/13 Ramblin Country Show, Special Guest Brandon Allee, 7:30 pmFri 3/27: Ramblin Country Show, 7:30pm

GRANT CITYWednesdays: Jam Session, 6pm (Senior Center)

KING CITYSat 3/21: Rock N Country Variety Show, Special Guest Beth Hunter, 7pm (Tri County Visitors Center)

MARYVILLESundays: Northwest Opry Country, 2pm (Nodaway Co Senior Center)Sundays: Forney and Paxson, 7pm (Eagles Lodge Bearcat Aerie No. 3669)Fri 3/6: Sons of Brasil jazz sextet, 7:30 pm (NWMSU Charles Johnson Theater)Sat 3/7: Casey Brett, 7pm (The Pub)Sat 3/14: NWMSU Tower Choir, 7:15pm (Ron Houston Performing Arts Ctr)

OREGONThursdays: Country Music Dance, 7pm (TJ Hall Community Building)

PATTONSBURGSaturdays: Green River Band, 7pm (potluck@6pm)(Wagon Wheel)

SAVANNAHFridays: Savannah Country Jamboree, 6pm (Andrew Co Senior Center)

Live Music Across NWMO4

Your band or venue not listed? Contact us to get on the live music schedule! Email submissions to northwest@regularjoepaper.com

Go to www.regularjoepaper.com and click “Northwest” for the latest updates!

Danny R. Phillips (text and photo)

I’ll be upfront with you from the start: Jason Isbell isn’t my typi-cal choice of concert. I grew up a child of amplifiers, pounding drums, and being angry and a non-conformist like everyone else. One day, a friend gave me a copy of Jason’s 2013 release Southeastern. What I heard was a man full of heartache, demons, soul, and perseverance.

Never being a fan of The Drive-by Truckers, I was sadly unfamiliar with Isbell’s body of work with the band or solo. I came late to the party, but I’m glad I decided to attend. With songs like “Live Oak,” “Elephant,” and “Songs that She Sang in the Shower,” Isbell showed me, and the music-loving world, that he is quite possibly the best young songwriter today.

So when I got my chance to catch Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit live, I made sure I was in the crowd; I had to hear these songs and his many, many others first hand, with an audience. I was not disappointed. Isbell and crew brought a show that was moving, exciting, rockin’ and to put it blunt and honest, absolutely friggin’great.

The crowd inside the venue was a cross-section of society, a testa-ment to Isbell’s appeal to lovers of lyrical content and masterful guitar work. Young professionals worn tired from chasing the dollar, card carry-ing members of AARP, college kids clueless to what life waiting for them.

Hipsters with handlebar moustaches and tweed blazers who stared at the stage more than their phones, soccer moms long past their prime, along with rockers dreaming of their misspent youth, all sat together as Isbell tore through song after song, often moving many in the crowd to tears and cheers alike. (The only complaint of the show was that no one stood up.)

Opening with Southeastern’s “Stockholm,” a story of man want-ing nothing more than to get home to his girl, blew out of the gate with a fullness and power only hinted at on record. Flying Over Wa-ter had a stronger punch thanks the double guitar attack of Isbell and Sadler Vader. “Decoration Day,” a track Isbell wrote while with The Truckers, telling of a bloody feud between the Hills and the Lawsons, came to life as if the war was unfolding on the stage.

While all songs successfully hit their intended marks, “Live Oak,” “Dress Blues,” “Elephant,” and “Yvette” (a tale of a father’s improprieties with this daughter and of a classmate making it right), clearly struck some to their very core. “Live Oak,” about a former sinner trying to forget his past and the woman attracted to his wicked-ness, brought long gazes and applause, while “Elephant,” the sad tale

of a cancer patient spending her last days with a buddy, drinking whiskey, smoking weed, and telling stories, brought an audible gasp when Isbell let the final note ring.

“Outfit,” an obvious audience favorite, is a father telling his son what it takes to stay true to who you are, how to love your family, and how southern men tell bet-ter jokes. It brought laughs, cheers and wolf whistles. Coming out once more to encore with “Super 8 Motel,” a musical tip of the hat to Dan Baird and The Georgia Satellites, and The Rolling Stones’ classic “Can’t You Hear Me Knockin’”from The Stones’ classic “country rock” album Sticky Fingers, Isbell and The 400 Unit put a perfect end to a nearly spotless performance. It may seem like I’m gushing, perhaps overly so, but it is de-served here. Isbell is a true talent, one that doesn’t come to the world often. If he comes to your town, by a ticket and take the ride with one of the truest, most genuine talents I have seen in all my 40 years on this rock.

Danny Phillips’ music and pop culture musings reg-ularly appear in online and print publications including Missouri Life Magazine, American Roots, Blurt Maga-

zine, Deli Magazine, Popshifter, and The Regular Joe. Listen to his free form podcast “Don’t Have a Clue” the 2nd Saturday of every month at 4pm on www.stjosephmusicfoundation.org

Joe Music - 5Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit

6

ALBANYSat 3/14: Cub Scout Pinewood Derby, 1pm (National Guard Armory)Sat 3/21: Jesse James & His Life in Missouri, 2pm (Community Center)

BETHANYTue 3/10: St. Patrick’s Day Story Hour, 9:15am (Public Library)Tue 3/24: Spring Fun Story Hour, 9:15am (Public Library)

CONCEPTION JCTSun 3/8: Cancer Society/SSM Hospice Pancake Breakfast, 7am (American Legion)

FAIRFAXSat 3/21: Celebrity Waiter Dinner, “Keeping you in Stiches”, (Community Hospital)

MARYVILLETue 3/10: Career Day, 10:30am (NWMSU Lamkin Center)Tue 3/10: Education Expo, 1pm (NWMSU Lamkin Center)Tue 3/17: Dr. Inge Auerbacher, Holocaust survivor/activist, 7pm (NWMSU Student Union Ballroom)Sat 3/21: Midwest Beekeepers Assoc Workshop, 8:30am (Northwest Technical School)

ROCK PORTFri 3/6, Sat 3/7: “9 to 5”, 7pm (Liberty Theater, Memorial Building)Sun 3/8: “9 to 5”, 2:30pm (Liberty Theater, Memorial Building)Sun 3/8: Atchison County Fair Board Fish/Chicken Fry & silent auction, 11am (Velma Houts Fair Building)Fri 3/13, Sat 3/14: “9 to 5”, 7pm (Liberty Theater, Memorial Building)Sun 3/15: “9 to 5”, 2:30pm (Liberty Theater, Memorial Building)Sat 3/21: Le Cirque Fantastique, 2:30 & 7pm (High School Gym)Sun 3/22: Le Cirque Fantastique, 2pm (High School Gym)

TARKIOMon 3/9: Junior High Music Contest Performance Night, 6pm (High School Auditorium)

UNION STARSat 3/28: Community Carnival, 5pm (Union Star School)

ONGOING EVENTSALBANY: Mon, Wed, Fri: Nimble Thimbles Quilters, 9am (Bookworm Bargains) 1st Sat: Early Literacy & Itty Bitty Book Club, 10am (Bookworm Bargains) 2nd Wed: Book Club, 10am (Carnegie Library)BETHANY: Thursdays: Dungeons & Dragons, 5pm (Gamers Place) Fri & Sat: Magic the Gathering, 6pm (Gamers Place)GRANT CITY: 2nd Friday: Potluck, Noon (Senior Center)KING CITY: 3rd Wednesday: Potluck Dinner (Senior Center) Last Monday: Pitch Tournament (Senior Center) Daily: Cards (Senior Center)

Your event not listed?Contact us at northwest@regularjoepaper.com to get on our schedule!

Events & Festivals across NWMO

Remember to travel safely during the winter season. Call ahead to confirm that events have not been cancelled

due to inclement weather.Carry water, flashlights, boots, gloves, a bag of kitty litter or sand, ice melt-

ing washer fluid, and blankets in your trunk. Wear your seat belt. Make

sure a friend or family member knows that you will be on the road in case

you do not arrive at your destination.HAVE FUN BUT TRAVEL SAFELY

THIS MARCH!

Jay Kerner Regular Joe Founder

I like to say our oldest daughter was born nine months and 15 minutes after the wedding. She came into the world just days after John Lennon was killed, and gender alone may have saved her from some combination of that famous name.

She popped out tiny and misshapen. Parents universally speak of the beauty of their newborns. My wife certainly looked at her with those same new parent glasses. I on the other hand thought this had to be the ugliest kid on the planet. She was bright red, covered in dark hair that no brush, comb, or product could tame, and a head so crushed by the birthing process that she looked to me an alien species. Sure you look at the beauti-ful, graceful woman she is now and think I exag-gerate, but trust me, the kid was one hot mess.

Not much more than a kid myself, I looked at this tiny bundle in my arms and wondered what the future might hold for her.

The redness faded over the first few weeks, and the soft bones in her head made a rapid recov-ery as well. It wasn’t long before she was almost completely recognizable as a human child.

The crazy hair eventually turned into beauti-ful ringlets. My initial fears of brain damage as I looked at her in the hospital went to the other end of the spectrum as well.

She watched everything. When the power of speech came along at the usual time, it wasn’t “Mamma,” “Dadda,” or even the ever popular “No” that dominated her early efforts. It was “Why?”

The Queen and I often worked opposite sched-ules in those days to minimize daycare. That meant more hands-on parenting for me than a lot of dads are lucky enough to get. Alone together for a good portion of each day, I probably talked to her more as a person and less like a baby. She read early and had a big vocabulary.

I remember her first day of school. She came home all excited and told us how everybody lined up on the playground so the nurse could check them for “Head Mice”. An animal lover from day one, she was disappointed to learn she didn’t have any.

Academics came easy in grade school. She

was placed in the “gifted” program but still partic-ipated in all the little girl sports stuff to make her son-less daddy happy. Always the smallest and least-talented kid on the team, she was slow but tenacious. She never made a basket in five years of playing, but she took a lot of charges and dove after every loose ball. She was tiny but scrappy.

The title of this piece comes from an early es-say on what you want to be when you grow up. She couldn’t make up her mind between the two disciplines, and we knew better than to make the argument that there was “no dancing in space.”

She was a pretty easy kid to raise. She wasn’t a total goody-goody, though a lot of her friends thought so. When she did require a bit of punish-ment, a ban from reading did the trick. “Alright young lady, put that book down right now! “ “You just sit there and watch TV and think about what you’ve done!”

Now she’s getting married. Her mother and I are thrilled.

While the divorce rate still hovers at around 50%, we’re optimistic for these two. Once you get beyond the initial spark that draws two people together, I believe it’s often more our differences that keep us together for the long haul. “Oppo-sites attract” is a bit simplified, but maybe it’s more about two people rounding each other out, the combination being greater than the sum of its parts. That’s always been the key for the Queen and myself. If I can offer the newlyweds anything, it’s the wish for them to have something similar to what we’ve been blessed with and worked to maintain.

If you are on the guest list, I’ll see you there. I’ll be the doofus in the tuxedo, smiling through the tears during the daddy/daughter dance. It’s the last one we’ll have before they blast off into the unknown together, to twist and twirl in their own dance among the stars.

(Reprinted from March 2011)

7For My Astronaut Ballerina

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March is Women’s History MonthWomen from Missouri history include:

Laura Ingalls Wilder, authorJosephine Baker, singer

Margaret Truman, First LadyCarrie Nation, activistSacagawea, explorer

Pauline Gracia Beery Mack, scientistBetty Grable, actress

Molly Brown, activist/politicianMaya Angelou, poet

Janet Kavandi, astronautSara Caldwell, opera conductor

Rich Piper

In olden, golden, Roman times, the month we now call March was the first month of the year. Martius, as it was then called, started the year with the hope that the grueling weather of winter would wince and whine but eventual wither into a welcomed spring.

It apparently made sense to the Romans to start the year in a selected season of climate – theirs would be generally similar to ours – in which a new season of creation began. From the harsh desolation of winter there would soon arrive a reinvigoration of life, new sprouts, new births; bur-geoning across landscape and homescape with a seemingly unstoppable power.

But, similar to actual birth, there are some groans and even a few kicks felt, before everything comes into the fullness in which it is hoped when it is planted or conceived.

Interestingly, the Roman month of Martius, also known as March, was the month of Mars because the Roman god Mars was originally viewed as the god of fertility and agriculture. Mars along with other Roman gods were viewed as the ones overseeing this time of transition and the continu-ation of new, and renewed, life.

Or, at least the Romans recognized that such a system worked for the Greeks, so being the masters of adapting things to their benefit, they bor-rowed the Greek gods, attached new names, and used that system to ex-plain what was then, and still to some degree now, a cycle of life that was and is unexplainable.

It would seem natural that this great force of nature, which could be adjusted by humans but not altered, would eventually give way to the prac-tice of attributing military attributes to Mars. The Roman god, not the planet.

Here in the land of Northwest MO, the restart of the birth cycle of life also starts to be seen in its fields and farms. We have around us, all around us, a perfect view of agriculture that caused the ancient Romans to use March as the first month in their year.

In the month we call March, we have a heritage shared over and over again as the seasons change and new and renewed life begins. A heritage as rich as the most fertile soil, and likewise, as worthy of protecting so it can be passed along to a future generation.

We also have keepers of this heritage that go beyond the calendar. One such keeper of that heritage is the groups of high school students in scat-tered schools and their communities throughout the region that are a part of the FFA – the Future Farmers of America.

They too are blessed by being able to see, generally much closer than most of us, the grandness of life. They live in the midst of the agriculture that seems to, no pun intended, spring to life each and every year. Not just bringing life to the farm, but the very agriculture that brings food to our tables.

The FFA was created by a group of young farmers to prepare future generations to keep this special heritage alive.

In the great land of Northwest MO, there is a heritage of rural life that

sees its own seasons and cycles. And groups of young people such as those in the FFA chapters continue to the passing of this special heritage from generation to generation.

But it is not enough.If we truly believe that there is something special, unique, wonderful,

and wonder-filled about living, working, being a part of this rural region called Northwest MO, it is not enough.

Just as it is not enough to solely appreciate the seasons of land and cycles of life by marking a time on the calendar, it is not enough to leave the passing of this heritage to only a few.

It is too great a gift. It is too precious. We need to be more intentional, more pro-active, and more aggressive in promoting opportunities to live, as close to life and its renewal, as we do.

Instead of Future Business Leaders of America, we need to offer a more focused alternative: Future RURAL Business Leaders of America.

Likewise, we need Future RURAL Teachers of America. We need a Future RURAL Healthcare Workers of America, created to help prepare future generations of rural nurses, rural EMTs, and rural doctors. Do you get the idea? Do you see how the idea might come alive?

And, while it is a great thing to offer scholarships to the kids of our communities so they may go from our high schools to vocational schools, community colleges, and to universities to pursue a career. It is not enough.

We should also offer scholarships, possibly post-education scholar-ships that encourage rural young folks to come back to rural Northwest MO to live.

Renewing of life is not just about plants and animals. It is also about life and renewal of life in our Northwest MO. What better way to celebrate the good things of Northwest MO than to find ways to help those who came into life here, to find their way back here, to live their life.

Rich has spent most of his adult life living and/or working in small, ru-ral communities in Wisconsin, Iowa, and Missouri, including several long stretches in Northwest Missouri. Rich chooses to spend most of his week-day, daytime hours teaching students science, and other things, in Union Star. He also chooses to spend his Sundays, and some other occasional time, with the good folks in Cainsville. You can reach Rich at RichPiper@LifePraise.org with comments.

9Martius AKA March: Life and Renewed Life

10 Joe Classifieds

Trivia answer from page 11: Cows.

YOUR AD HERE!Contact us for rates on display and classified

ads. We strive to support independent and small business people in the Northwest Missouri com-

munity by providing competitive rates!816.596.0701 or northwest@regularjoepaper.

com

WANTED: Aspiring writers to submit articles of general interest or NW Missouri content, as well as short stories. Email us

at Northwest@RegularJoePaper.com for more details. Photos are also welcome.

Paula A. Hayward

When we say that her life is miserable, what do we mean? Was she born this way? Did cir-cumstance lead her to this paltry existence or was she driven mad by the ability to feel every-thing on every nerve ending all at once all the time. She might have coined the term, “You are getting on my last nerve” except that she did not. Ingrid Kapelbaum coined this term in the latter half of the fourteenth century as a term of en-dearment toward her seven children. The term has since become the anthem cry of mothers ev-erywhere, especially on Sunday evening when the children cannot be bothered to get ready for school the next day. As the term evolved, it has come to include not only children but the spouse as well. The spouse is the one encouraging the children to watch sports on television instead of finishing their history homework.

The truth is this would be better suited as a story on the linguistic development of hyperbole, but that would only make our protagonist more miserable as we promised to write a story about her. This was, however, before we realized the linguistic development of hyperbole was vastly more interesting than our supposed protagonist’s mundane life. Since we do not want to be the cause of more miserable people in the world, we will write her story.

But who are we and why do we care anyway? We are related to They. We are like the compas-sionate cousin of They. They are judgmental and afraid of risks. We genuinely like people, even the miserable and pathetic ones. We are not affiliated with any government agency, and if you see us out in public, we are more likely to be wearing a smile, not a black suit and dark sunglasses. We are quite fond of the telephone in your ear bit, so if it seems we are talking and laughing to ourselves, we are not. We keep in contact with each other at most times, except when sleeping. There have been studies done on astral projection and dream walking as three a.m. conference calls are more productive than nine a.m. meetings, where everyone is grabbing

for donuts and bagels and trying not to pout be-cause they did not get their favorite kind.

Where were we? Oh yes, back to her miser-able life. It was currently miserable because her breakfast table resembled that nine a.m. meeting as everyone was pouting except the dog. Her first-born had wanted pancakes for breakfast, her second-born did not like the inconsistent crisp-ness of the bacon, and her beloved spouse had already parked himself in front of the television for the day. She settled the dispute by setting the eggs of the first-born’s plate on the floor for the dog, who then wagged its tail in appreciation while simultaneously licking and scooting the plate across the floor. She then ate all the bacon on the second-born’s plate. She was then slightly less miserable.

Despite the stunned silence of her offspring, she opted to, as they say, “go with it.” She stood and loudly proclaimed that she was going back to bed for a while and wished to not be disturbed. A re-sounding “Yes!” came from the liv-ing room, and she was not sure if it was meant for her or some play that some team somewhere had made. Again, she decided to “go with it.”

Only the dog realized what was happening. The dog made it to the bedroom in record time, leaped on the bed, and stood with its tail wagging waiting for its mas-ter. We think that humans should take up tail wagging as a sign of affection; however, we realize humans are missing that vital portion of their anatomy to make wagging ef-

fective. We also realize it would look like some bad dance move should most humans try to wag anyway.

In the end, she made it to the bedroom, crawled back under the covers, and the dog curled up beside her. As she closed her eyes, she was no longer miserable, at least for the moment. Despite the fact her family might in-deed get on her last nerve, part of her knew, part of her felt that affection for them just as Mrs. Kapelbaum had all those years ago. She would nap, and then she would get up and start all over again, because as we know, a mother’s work is never done.

TRIVIA: What does Jason Isbell say were in his backyard while he was growing up? Answer on Pg 10.

11The Story of Her Miserable Life

136 Highway, Albany, MO

BRIDGES BURNT

March 14th 9pm-1am

Open Mon-Sat 3pm-1:30am21 & over only - We card at the door

NO credit cards - We don’t take plastic!Pool Table & Shuffleboard

Danny R. Phillips

Gardening is an excellent form of therapy. Speaking as a person with Cere-bral Palsy, I know personally what it means to help create something with your own hands, watch it grow, and know you are more than a curiosity to the world, more than a disability.

That is why I was so happy to hear that Lettuce Dream, a not for profit orga-nization that helps people with cognitive and developmental disabilities, recently received a grant to build greenhouses in Maryville, Missouri.

Mark and Myles Burnsides donated three acres of land to build on which to build the greenhouses in Maryville Eastside Development, near the inter-section of East first street and the 71/136 Bypass. Diane Francis, president of the Lettuce Dream board of directors said in a press release, “The board is delighted and so grateful for this donation.” Fran-cis added, “This location could not be better for our greenhouse project.”

Lettuce Dream board of directors are working night and day to raise funds for a complex that they hope will, in time, consist of hydroponic greenhous-es, office space, and training facilities for workers in program.

This project, in my opinion, will benefit more than just the people of Maryville. These greenhouses will give hope to those that perhaps thought they had no purpose or place in “normal” society.

It will give them something to strive for, be a part of, and most importantly give them a reason to be proud.

Lettuce Dream’s goal is to give training opportunities and interaction with the community to disabled individuals that may not otherwise have the chance. Doing something as simple yet meaningful as setting tomato plants and sowing carrot seeds will fill their hearts with pride.

If this program would have been available when I was young, my life might have been far different. Employment opportunities can be very difficult for those with disabilities. The planned facility will give participants hands-on training in hydroponic farming as well as in business, in hopes it will broaden their ho-

rizons and give them the tools for future employment.

Support Lettuce Dream endeavors, and rest well knowing that you put a smile on someone’s face and fresh veg-etables on the table. According to the press release, members of the commu-nity are encouraged to be part of this ef-fort by volunteering in the greenhouses. Help to bring fresh produce to restau-rants, schools, families, and grocers in our area. The sense of good you will re-ceive in return for your time and energy will make the dirt underneath your nails totally worthwhile.

For more information on the project or to donate, contact Diane Francis at 660-562-0249 or Wayne Pierson at 660-562-9810.

Hydroponics Training for Disabled12

Thomas J. WilliamsVirunga 2014 ***** (5 stars)Documentary(Available on Netflix)

My ever-elusive five-star rating has been granted to this documentary film because I whole-heartedly believe in its importance and think it needs to be seen by the masses; but nobody will care because we like our smart-phones (which use rare earth minerals people have been killed over) and don’t want to think about a park full of animals on the other side of the world. What people fail to understand is that Virunga is a morality play about life itself. Does mankind chose to protect the eden we’ve been tasked with watch-ing over or would we rather profit heavily from the baubles we find planted in the pits of hell beneath our feet instead?

Virunga is a national park covering a large swath of land in the (Democratic Republic of the) Congo that borders the country’s eastern neighbors Uganda and Rwanda. It is an earthly eden populated by a large variety of animals and wildlife covered with lush greenery and local flora. It is Africa’s very first national park and has also been designated a UNESCO-World Heritage Site since 1979, meaning it is globally protected because of its historical/cultural significance to earth and mankind. Virunga is the last place on earth we find the endangered mountain gorilla, a magnificent beast capable of understanding, love and communication. Watched over by a crew of wardens and park rangers (from poachers), Virunga is a verifiable natural treasure.

But...oil is believed to reside below the depths of the Park’s largest lake and as humans value mon-ey more than the value of some “f*^king monkeys.” Virunga stands little chance of remaining such a pris-tine, earthly haven.

Virunga is a fantastic documentary that follows four individuals as they take it upon themselves to protect this earthy treasure. An ex-army officer turned park warden, a Belgian-born Park Ranger, a gorilla habitat worker, and an aspiring investigative journalist all put their lives on the line to protect the park and its inhabitants while confronting those who would rath-er profit (as they apparently believe money solves all earthy problems, instead of making them).

I believe I first shed a tear within a few minutes of the documentary’s opening credits...and I shed more as the film progressed.

What are we doing?! Human kind needs to chose -- earthy eden or hellish gifts? I fear I am on the los-ing side as most of my “Christian” friends would even choose the more convenient and nicely materialistic gifts we can obtain by chosing the latter.

Virunga is a wake-up call. But as I type this re-view on a laptop with a touchscreen using rare earth minerals, I realize we are actually all already doomed. We’ve already made our choice...mountain gorillas meet Dodo Bird.

One to Watch: Virunga Joe Cinema-13

Upcoming Lectures Present Unique, Distinguished Guests

Northwest announces civil liberties speaker for Distinguished Lecture Series

MARYVILLE, Mo. – The objective of the Distinguished Lecture Series is to enhance the academic environment through individual disci-pline and interdisciplinary topics. Supported by the Office of the Provost and the Office Campus Activities, the series presents the Northwest cam-pus and surrounding communities with opportuni-ties to hear from extraordinary individuals from around the globe. Scholars, world travelers and leaders in their fields visit the Northwest campus to share their wisdom, insight and experiences. The lecture will begin at 7:30 p.m. in the Mary Linn Auditorium at the Ron Houston Center for the Performing Arts.

Nadine Strossen: “Current Challenges to Civil Liberties” (Wednesday, April 8)

Nadine Strossen is a former president of the American Civil Liberties Union and was not only the first woman to serve, but the youngest person ever to hold the position. Serving as a professor of law at a New York Law School, she has lectured and written about civil liberties, constitutional law and the growing role of the government.

Strossen has written two books in her career, titled “Defending Pornography” and “Speaking of Race, Speaking of Sex: Hate Speech, Civil Rights and Civil Liberties.” She discusses issues that are relevant in today’s society such as the War on Ter-ror and government’s potential efforts to endorse

intrusive legislation, rapid technological change, a conservative political environment and more.

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SAC lectures include Holocaust survivor and a transgender Netflix star

MARYVILLE, Mo. – The Student Activities

Council 2014-2015 SAC Speaks lecture series continues, featuring a holocaust survivor and hu-man rights activist and a trans-woman actress and Emmy winner.

Lectures will begin at 7 p.m. Tickets are free and will be available at Student Services Center, located on the first floor of the Administration Building, at a later date.

The mission of the Student Activities Council is to plan and administer activities for Northwest students in order to contribute to a well-rounded social, recreational and cultural life for the campus and community. SAC provides entertaining alter-natives to students with late-night activities and events throughout the year including concerts, lec-tures, movies and comedians.

For more information, contact the Student Ac-tivities Council at 660.562.1226 or sacga@nwmis-souri.edu.

Dr. Inge Auerbacher: Holocaust survivor and human rights activist (Tuesday, March 17, Student Union Ballroom)

Dr. Inge Auerbacher spent three years as a child imprisoned in a Nazi concentration camp. She im-migrated to the United States in 1946 and received a chemistry degree from Queens College. She has worked as a chemist for more than 38 years with many prominent medical scientists and research-ers.

Auerbacher is also a renowned writer and has received many awards. She wrote the only origi-nal song presented at the 1981 Jerusalem “World Gathering of Jewish Holocaust Survivors” called “We Shall Never Forget.” She is the author of six books published in nine languages, including “Children of Terror,” “Beyond the Yellow Star to America” and “I Am a Star,” among many others.

Auerbacher was also awarded the Ellis Is-land Medal of Honor, the Louis E. Yavner Citizen

Award and an honorary Doctorate of Humane Let-ters from Long Island University. In 2013, she was awarded prestigious awards for her work teaching tolerance and reconciliation, one of which was given by the president of Germany. She continues to inspire audiences of all ages with her incredibly powerful story and strong spirit.

Laverne Cox: Transgender star in “Orange is the New Black” (Wednesday, April 15, Loca-tion to be determined)

Laverne Cox, star of the Netflix series “Orange is the New Black,” is the first trans-woman of color to have a leading role on a mainstream scripted se-ries. She is also the first trans-woman to produce and star in her own television show, “TRANSForm Me,” appear on the cover of Time magazine and be nominated for an Emmy.

Cox plays the role of Sophia Burset, an Af-rican-American transgender woman serving as the prison’s hairdresser, on “Orange is the New Black.” Time magazine named her character the fourth most influential character of 2013, and she is a recipient of the Dorian Rising Star Award.

Cox also has acted in “Law and Order,” “Law and Order: SVU” and HBO’s “Bored to Death,” among others. She also has roles in the upcoming films “36 Saints” and “Grand Street.”

As a transgender advocate and speaker, Cox spreads her empowering message of moving be-yond gender expectations.

For more information about Northwest Mis-souri State University visit www.nwmissouri.edu/media/

14-Joe Northwest

Cate Stott

I had some potatoes to use before they be-came compost, and thought I’d make potato salad. After asking my readers, “potato salad or loaded baked potato salad?”, they confirmed my suspicions. Load it up! So, here you go. This is how I hooked up some Loaded Baked Potato Salad. (detailed measurements below)

Loaded Baked Potato Salad

3-4lb firm potato1 cup yogurt1/2 cup mayo1 medium to large onion5-6 garlic cloves1/4 cup cooked peas1 large handful fresh baby spinach12oz bacon1 cup shredded cheddarsalt and pepper, to taste

I apologize for the lack luster photography, I was losing my light when I took this photo. Be-cause this salad is so scrumptious, my family at it all leaving me nothing to photograph.

Wash some firm taters, I used Yukon Gold ‘cuz I love ‘em! Cut those taters into bite size-ish cubes and toss them into a pot of cold, salted wa-ter. Cook those bad boys until tender, then drain and rinse under cold running water to stop the cooking process.

While your taters cook, slice some bacon – I used 12oz- and cook until crispy. Drain and re-serve those drippings. mmmmm tasty!

While those taters are cooling, caramelize some diced onion with bacon drippings, or a little butter. Slice some garlic and add to your onions when they’re almost done. Cook onions

and garlic until caramelized. Set aside to cool.Grab yourself a big ol’ bowl and start dump-

ing things in. First the potatoes, onions and gar-lic, salt and pepper, mayo and yogurt, toss some cooked peas and shredded spinach in there.

Now. Cover the bowl and put it in the fridge. Walk away for fifteen minutes. Just go. Find something to do for fifteen minutes and allow ev-

erything to mingle for a bit. Let those flavors get together and make the sweet magical love that will make for the world’s tastiest potato salad.

After you’ve removed your salad from the fridge, give it a sample. Need more salt? You probably do. You may have to add salt several times, potatoes absorb so much salt.

Once you’ve got the salt adjusted, add half the bacon and a few ounces of shredded cheddar cheese.

If you want to make your potato salad fancy, plate it up all nice like with a sprinkle of that shredded cheddar and the remaining bacon.

If you really want the most bang for your buck, allow your salad to rest in the fridge over night, and add your bacon and cheese topping just before serving.

Now that you’ve got the know-how, go out

there and get loaded!

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Healthy Homemade Gummy Snacks

1 cup fruit puree1 cup fruit juice – apple, orange, mango, any-thing which complements the flavor of your puree1/3 cup honey2 tablespoons unflavored gelatin

Puree frozen fruit of choice until smooth. Be sure to strain through a sieve if you’d like a smoother consistency.Lightly oil molds.Heat juice until boiling and remove from heat.Whisk gelatin into juice until thoroughly incor-porated.Whisk gelatin juice mixture into fruit puree.Add honey, whisking just long enough to com-bine.Fill prepared molds.Allow to chill for about 4 hours, or until com-pletely set.Remove from molds and enjoy!Store in an air tight container in your refrigerator for up to one week, but they never last that long in our house.

NOTE: Use 2 tablespoons gelatin per pint of liq-uid.

Cate blogs about the things she has learned as she “got smart and got healthy. My life is as chemical free as I can manage, green, and organic. I eat a mostly grain free and primal diet, with the addition of some traditional tweaks.”

It’s Loaded, Baby 15

Regular Joe Northwest is looking for your stories of Northwest Missouri past - your childhood memories, old traditions, favorites corner store, you name it! Photographs are also welcome. Email us at northwest@regularjoepaper.com

Since 1894

St. Francis Hospital & Health Services is proud of its long relationship

and strong roots in northwest Missouri. On September 8, 1894, the same

year of the St. Louis World’s Fair, we began as St. Joseph Hospital, a

12-bed facility located in a house on three acres of land next to St.

Mary’s Catholic Church (now St. Gregory’s Catholic Church).

Our first patient, Thomas Kidney, was admitted a week before we

officially opened, heralding a commitment to patient care that has long

been a hallmark of this hospital. Today, St. Francis Hospital & Health

Services is a 81-bed, Joint Commission Accredited, full-service acute

care facility, with advanced programs in women’s health, surgery, sports

medicine and mental health to name just a few.

As we look forward to our future together, St. Francis Hospital &

Health Services remains committed to this community and will

continually strive to provide the highest quality of healthcare!

A Mission Of Service

For 120 Years

660-562-2600 • www.stfrancismaryville.com • 2016 South Main Street • Maryville, MO 64468