the onion's foolproof guide to branded content
TRANSCRIPT
THE SMARTEST COMEDY AND POP CULTURE ON THE WEB
THE ONION’S FOOLPROOF GUIDETO BRANDED CONTENT
WELCOME TO
HOW TO DESTROY YOUREDITORIAL INTEGRITY
FOR THAT SWEET ADVERTISING MONEY
OR
ESTABLISHED IN 1765
JOURNALISMPRESENTING THE FINEST
HISTORY HAS EVER SEEN
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INVENTED BRANDED CONTENTIN 1900
T. Herman ZweibelEDITOR-IN-CHIEF, 1896-2001
“I may be a news-paper man through and through, but I still have enough sense in my 146-year-old skull to abandon some silly
centuries-old loyalty to journalistic integrity when there are spacious coffers to be stocked. May the ox of journalism always be yoked to
the cart of commerce.”
BRANDED CONTENTWORTHY OF THE ONION INC NAME.
WE MAKE
“HOW CAN I AVOID DOING SHITTY BRANDED CONTENT?”
LET THE FUNNY PEOPLE BE FUNNY.
#1
CRAPPING YOUR PANTS IS A GOOD THING.
#2
DON’T MAKE A COMMERCIAL.
#3
NO, SERIOUSLY. DON’T MAKE A GODDAMNED COMMERCIAL.
#4
KNOW WHEN TO USE THE GREATEST WORDS IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE:
#5
KNOW WHEN TO USE THE GREATEST WORDS IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE:
#5
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
BE IN ON THE JOKE.
#6
1. LET THE FUNNY PEOPLE BE FUNNY.
2. CRAPPING YOUR PANTS IS A GOOD THING.
3. DON’T MAKE A COMMERICAL.
4. SERIOUSLY, DON’T MAKE A GODDAMNED COMMERCIAL.
5. KNOW THE VALUE OF “BROUGHT TO YOU BY.”
6. BE IN ON THE JOKE.
BRANDED CONTENTWORTHY OF THE ONION NAME
CONGRATULATIONS. YOU CAN NOW MAKE
THANK YOU.
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