the my guide to discovering your perspective on success

8/6/2019 The My Guide to Discovering Your Perspective on Success

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The (My) Guide To DiscoveringYour Perspective On Success...And

Then Some.

By Tony Teegarden

M Y G U I D E S E R I E S

w w w . T o n y T e e g a r d e n . c o m w w w . T w i t t e r . c o m / a t e e g a r d e n w w w . F a c e b o o k . c o m / a n t h o n y t e e g a r d e n
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Sections:

Internal Honesty Around Success.............................................Page 3

Questioning Your Current Perspective(s)................................Page 4

Self Discovery 101.........................................................................Page 8

From Self Concept To Self Esteem ..............................................Page 9

What It Means To Grow Up..........................................................Page 12

Living Consciously (What It Means and How to Do it) ............Page 15

7 Steps To Consciously Take Action ............................................Page 17

Continuing Education (Free Videos & Report)..........................Page 19

The (My) Guide to Discovering Your Perspective on Success

w w w . T o n y T e e g a r d e n . c o m To n y Te e g a r d e n

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Internal Honesty Around Success

Are you honest with yourself when you see someone else who is

perceivedto be having more success than you in life?

Whether its relationships, money or health, how do you

feel about otherpeoples success around you?

Do you give them nice words and phrases like congratulations,

heygreat work and a pat on the back?

Are you surface level about it or is it a genuine satisfaction for

their results?

Or do you hold others too high in your mind and never say a

word? Do you begin to inject their values into your own, then at-

tempt to live your life through theirvalues? This is what causes

internal moral conflicts.

Or do you look down on them? Maybe you get pissed and wonder

why they got all the breaks, they are the lucky ones or you make

up excuses as to why they had more advantages and resources

than you did.

I can honestly say Ive done all the above.

I never stopped to think deeper though. I may have asked how

did they do that? But it never occurred to me to ask something

like, how does that person occur to themselves?



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Questioning Your CurrentPerspective(s)

Your answers to the earlier questions may be a good indication ofunderstanding how you occur to yourself. Like the answers or not,

they can be a key to unlocking more success in your life.

When you see someone and youperceive they are successful in a

particular endeavor or in life overall, would it be beneficial for

you to ask yourself:

How did they learn to accomplish that result?

How long has it taken them to get that result?

What where the steps they took to learn it?

What did they study?

How do they go about studying it?

Where did they find the resources?

Is my perception of their success even rational?

Is there another side to their story other than what I see?

(more than likely)

How about asking, How does this person occur to them-

selves?Chances are if we only hold one perspective of other peoples suc-

cess, we probably only have one of our own.



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When you ask bad questions you come up with bad answers that

minimize your self concept. Maybe were just acting out irrational

thoughts instead of asking ourselves better questions?

Who we are is in the moment. Who we

become is through a process.

The challenge is we often times havent witnessed other

peoples process, only who they have become up to this

point. Then we make judgments about them and com-pare ourselves based only on our frame of reference,

otherwise known as our single perspective.

Kinda sounds irrationalonce you consider it, doesnt it?

With that understanding maybe it makes more sense to

hold that person in your heart rather than higher orlower in your perception.

When you hold that person higher or lower in your perception

youre either living your life through their values or projecting

yours onto them. Either way youre not living consciously in the

present. Holding them in your heart leads to a balanced perspec-

tive and frees up our energy to live in the now.

I found it hard for me at one time to hold anyone in my

heart when I couldnt even hold myself there.



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This is something I had to discover and learn.

This is what I feel I had to experience in order to acknowledge and

appreciate self esteem which indeed impacted my perspective onexperiencing success.

The kind of experiences I feel Ive had, you

cant buy or get in a classroom. You just

have to live it and become conscious of liv-

ing it. I feel thats why so few people learnto really live their lives, because theyre

afraid of what it may take (or what they

may have to lose) in order to live it.

So what does it mean to learn something?

Is it because you cracked open a book, read it and have some

new knowledge?

Is it because you took a test and you passed it?

Is it because you received a degree or diploma?

Or is learning a set of steps and actions that you followed throughwith to get a particular result?

Maybe learning is having a mentor, a coach or a teacher?



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Could it be a combination of all the above?

I would say yes and no. Depending on your vocation or desired re-

sult, there may not be a classroom 101 for a particular outcomeyou want.

Im going to ask you to challenge what you believe it means to

learn so you can better follow your intuition and life path that

feels right to you.

We all want a certain amount of success in our lives in areas likerelationships, money and health. We have more than likely cre-

ated a certain level of success in those areas so far by what weve

learned up till this point.

If you feel there is room for improvement in your behavior, then

read on.

Since success is an ambiguous and abstract term that holds many

different definitions for each of us, Im going to explore our inner

game perspective of success.

When we can experience success in our inner world, it would suf-

fice we would experience fulfilling success in our outside world.



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Self Discovery 101

Who are you?

You are the sum today of everything youve ever thought,

said and chose to do.

I saychose to do because this is where self discovery begins to

court responsibility. The two give birth to living consciously which

which well explore in a minute.

This is a place where as an adult you begin to own the idea that

you can create positive change. This is where taking responsibility

for what may have been reality and what wasnt, frees you.

You can begin to own love, harmony and abundance as your birth-

right.

Points of self discovery for me have been:

My Values

Self Esteem and my Self Concept

Living Consciously

Discovering Emotional Intelligence

None of these would have been beneficial though had I not been

willing to take responsibility of my current and past realities.

Let me give you an example:



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Ive discovered that as a child things happened around me and to

me. I may not have had a choice about these events, however they

didhappen. This was the beginning of my living consciously. I be-

gan to take responsibility and acknowledged these events were myreality at that time. I realize yours may be very different.

For me, I discovered I grew up in an environment where I saw a

lot of denial. I saw financial problems not being faced. I saw rela-

tionships that didnt work. I saw explosions of anger and violence

when these things were finally confronted and so I learned not to

rock the boat. I implicitly learned to shy away from any kind of

confrontation, especially around money.

Later this had a huge impact on me as an adult around my fi-

nances and relationships. I unconsciously denied any responsibil-

ity of money. Sure I could create it, but I didnt want to have to

take care of it. I ended up nearly $20,000 in debt and nothing to

really show for it. Over the years I also found myself in, lets just

say, extremely short relationships over and over and over.

From Self Concept To Self Esteem

Ultimately one of the greatest challenges I ended up fac-

ing was a low self esteem because I began to see this pat-

tern in my life but I didnt know why I kept doing it or

know what to do aboutit.



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Have you ever know there is something not quite right, but didnt

know what to do about it?

If I have low self esteem it means at deep levels I really doubt myabilities to cope with the challenges of life or to cope with many of

them. Plus I would make it mean Im not really deserving of hap-

piness. I feel this could be what many people experience.

What came naturally for me when coping with the challenges of

life was to just ignore most of it or create situations where some-

one else had to to deal with it. Pretty shitty either way.

However it wasnt possible to use any of this as an excuse any

longer as I become more conscious of my life not working out the

way I wanted.

One of the great challenges of growing up is being the

only person now who can give you what you didnt get asa child. Looking for it outside of yourself wont work.

Looking for someone to fill you up wont work either. Its

all temporary other than what you can give yourself.

I hold a deep affection for you, not be-

cause youre the light of my life but becauseyou helped me discover my life lights up

when I find my own.-self love



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I wrote that quote while thinking of my prior life coach Jana

Fleming. She first helped me to discover this door where I no

longer felt I needed to looked back and use any of my history as an

excuse but as a key to reintegrate with what I was resisting somuch in life.

What was I resisting? Giving my inner child love and affection it

didnt get growing up. I felt it was important to reintegrate my

adult self with my child self, to own what I had unconsciously dis-

owned.

I had already went down the path of seeking stuff outside of my-

self to help me feel whole. I knew I wasnt living in integrity. I

knew this, but did nothing about it.

I was able to experience what I wanted most much faster through

drugs and sex at the time. Even if it never lasted and I found my-

self doing it all over again.

So much of it makes sense to me now.

Values originate from perceptions of whats missing. If

we perceive were missing money, sex, or relationships

we begin to seek those things. Whatever we perceive as

missing, becomes our highest value. The voids drive the

values.



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My void and what I was holding most valuable was love and rela-

tionships which I chose to fill with sex, and lots of it throughout

my life.

Needless. Empty. Sex.

Oh sure, in the moment I fully believed I felt something however

it was the inner child desiring the love and affection it hadnt re-

ceived. It was my emotions using my body to get what they

wanted. Affection, however fleeting it was.

In the long term having so many sexual partners had an affect on

maintaining a healthy long term relationship not to mention every

time I engaged in them I hurt my self esteem.

But again, this was no longer an excuse, I was becoming too con-

scious of my life not working.

I got fed up.

What did I begin to do about it?

What It Means To Grow Up

Growing up means you becoming youre own parent.

For me i means me feeling love, understanding and compassion

for the child that I once was. I wasnt fully aware of this until later

after I worked with Jana and even this didnt sink in right away. I



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had discovered I disowned parts of myself and my inner child was

using me to fulfill its needs the only way it knew how.

I was acting out in the easiest ways I knew to get attention. Inmany cases this meant me creating circumstances where I was the

victim. it was a secondary payoff using the negative behaviors. Its

just how I showed up at the time.

for you maybe growing up means really remembering with com-

passion and love how tough it was growing up in an unloving en-

vironment or one where expectations and standards were set su-per high. Even above love & affection.

Figuratively speaking this means taking that childs hand and be

willing to grow up and be that childs champion.

This was my reintegration where Ive discovered and redefined a

new and very real self love and self respect.

Self esteem is a function, not of what we

are born with, but how we use our con-

sciousness, the choices we make concerning

awareness, our honesty in relation to ourreality and the



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level of our personal integrity.-NathanielBraden The Psychology of Self Esteem

Become clearly conscious of your values and be honest

about what you feel is missing and then you begin to find

the inspiration in life rather than requiring motivation

to live life.

High self esteem is that deep rooted experience that says Im

really able and competent to cope with the challenges of life. ThatIm worthy of happiness which includes feeling worthy of success.

So how do you begin to learn to cope with the challenges of life

and feel you are deserving of happiness and successes?

Step 1. Face Facts:

Living consciously implies respect for the

facts of reality. The facts of our inner as

well as outer world. Living consciously is

living responsibly toward reality. This

doesnt mean we have to like what we seein all cases, but it does mean we recognize



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what is is, and what isnt, isnt.-NathanielBraden The Psychology of Self Esteem

Our wishes, fears or denials do not alter facts nor do

they create your desired future.

Step 2. Live Consciously

Until I decided to live consciously nothing in my world changed

much. What I mean is nothing at the level ofbehaviorchanged. Inever did anything with the new found knowledge I began to en-

counter. I stored it away and felt content with that.

Ive quoted Wyatt Woodsmall many times around the fact that

learning can be gauged by behavior change. No behavior change?

No true learning has occurred then. Youve only acquired more

knowledge.

So how do we begin to change our behavior?

Living Consciously (What It Means

And How To Do It)

Living consciously can be such an ambiguous term or an extremegenerality.



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If youre a fan of The Secret and the Law of Attraction youll hear

people using it a lot without any real way to define it. It sounds

too woo woo.

However living consciously is something that can be broken down

into concrete thoughts and actions where you create positive long

lasting change. It means examining your behaviors and making

sure they match up to a strategy and a plan of action towards your

purposes in life.

It means you being the grown up, taking responsibility and mov-ing forward consciously with your choices.

When you:

1. Know your purposes (By identifying your values)

2. Create strategies and plans of action to achieve those pur-

poses (clear actionable steps)

3. Confirm every night that your actions and behaviors during

the day are in alignment with your strategies and plan of ac-

tions to reachyour purposes.

You raise your level of self esteem when review and acknowledge

your actions are in alignment with your purposes. This is when

youre living consciously and purposely in your choices. You feel

good about your choices and yourprogress. Your choices com-

pound upon each other and your life sets sail on a course of suc-

cess.



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Rinse and repeat.

You want your self concept to be one of specifics and not

irrational generalities. You accomplish this when youreliving consciously.

Consciously Take Action (And Then

Some)

so here is the (and then some) part

People who are moving consistently towards their outcomes are

doing so because they occur a certain way to themselves. They

have gained a certain perspective. Remember, many of those indi-

viduals have went through a process that you havent been privy

to.

David Logan of Tribal Leadership outlined in his other book, TheThree Laws of Leadership, a process where you gain perspective

and put it into action.

You can ask yourself some new questions:

1. In what way do I occur to myself right now?

2. Do I like how I occur to myself?

3. What outcomes am I truly trying to accomplish? (Acknowl-

edging your highest values will tell you)



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4. How do I needto occur to myself to accomplish those out-

comes?

5. What are my current assets I have right now that can assist

me in accomplishing those outcomes? (Current relation-

ships, skills or knowledge)

6. Where can I find the assets I need for my outcome if I dont

have them?

7. What do I need to do right now to get started?

So back to people we may have looked up to or down upon in re-

gards to their successes.

Remember, your answers to the questions in the beginning of the

post may have been a good indication of understanding how you

occur to yourself. Be real with yourself and face what ha,s so far

up to this point, been your reality.

Begin to hold others in your heart. When you do you make space

with what is in your life. When you do this, you free up your

mental and emotional energies in order to connect with your

highest values and organically discover your desired purposes and

outcomes in life. There can be no moral dilemma because youre

acting out of your highest values.



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What assets do you have that will support you getting those out-

comes? What current relationships, skills or knowledge do you al-

ready have that can help you obtain those outcomes?

If you dont have the assets which ones do you need and where

can you find them?

The resources you need are all around you. They just dont always

fall in your lap though. However you do improve your probabili-

ties when youve gained better perspective of who you are, where

youre going and are consciously moving towardsyour desiredoutcomes.

The time has never been better than now to do it.

Tony Teegarden

www.TonyTeegarden.com

Continuing Education

To learn more about my work and download

more free valuable self discovery reports,

and videos go to:

www.TonyTeegarden.com/download



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