the learning diet

8/14/2019 The Learning Diet

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Steve WickhamTheLearning Diet


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The Learning Diet, Steve WickhamThe opinions expressed in any articles in this publication are those of the individual authors and may not necessarily by shared by the

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Steve Wickham

Steve Wickham is a registered safety practitioner (BSc, MSIA, RSP (Australia)) anda qualified, unordained Christian minister (GradDipBib&Min). His passion in vocationis facilitation and coaching; encouraging people to soar to a higher value of theirpotential.

His specific key passion is exploring work/life balance issues and re-creating valuefor living, toward the discovery of the spiritual person within each of us.

As an advocate for a fair, right and just life, he has a passion for Biblical wisdom and

the Psalms.A former youth worker, he is married and has three children and is passionate aboutthe development of the kids of today. He has extensive experience also in teachingand leading childrens programs. Part of Steves life call is the breaking ofgenerational curses in this generation.

Steve also has leadership and workplace assessment and training diplomas as wellas approximately ten years practical experience in both fields.

Finally, Steve believes that we should all strive to fulfill our God-given potential--physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually; after all, Life is the LearningGround, and our life purpose is to seek to become the Epitome of Jesus Christ, our

Lord.

Life is about God. Its about relationship. Its about growing passionately towardGod, worshipping Him via the things we think, say and do--a commitment for therest of our lives.

At its essence, this involves a continual process of learning.

http://epitemnein-epitomic.blogspot.com
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Contents:

The Learning DietThe Reason Our Thinking Gets Us Into Problems & What to Do About It

One Single Thought Guaranteed to Improve Your Life

What You Think of Me is Absolutely None of My Business

Making Up Your Own Mind

Thinking & Acting on Manual - To Avoid Accidents & Failures

Be The Change! Do It Don't Just Say It

Meeting Your Destiny In The Wonderful Sea of Opportunity The Art of Preparation

The Gap Between Saying and Doing

Resisting Speaking Or Thinking Negatively of People

Always Act As If Your Acts Were Seen

Three Steps to a Creative Mind

Head in the Clouds, Yet Feet on the Ground - The Perfect Balance

Beat Bad Habits by Engaging "Manual Thinking" Power

The Romance of Motivation and Influence

The Learning Diet Copyright 2009, S. J. Wickham. All Rights Reserved Worldwide.


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The Learning Diet

I wonder if many of us make the times these days to really take ahelicopter view regarding our purpose in l ife. I know I often promise to dothis very thing myself and I often put it off... too busy? Perhaps that's justan excuse.

One observation I can make even in the flurry of activity that is my life is

we have to mind carefully what our minds are grazing on. Much like wewould do with our eyes and stomachs at a wine and cheese night or at abuffet-style restaurant, our minds graze; but unlike grazing on food--which occurs on occasion (through the day)--our minds are grazing allthe time.

We absorb so much, and not all of it's optimal for our 'diet.' What are wegrazing on in the process of our living experience?

The Electronic Invasion

Most of us have a healthy helping of television or perhaps we're

facebook junkies or can't get enough of the Wii? These are not exactlyhelpful things in large daily doses. There's a balance in moderationrequired on these. A little of each is okay, but it's not a very fulfilling diet ifwe live on them. They can however, be a good vehicle toward a littlehealthy escapism though. Discipline: 1-2 hours per day?

Friends and Acquaintances

Who of us has decent friends? Now, I love facebook. But facebook canfalsely allow us to think we have a lot of friends, but it isn't really thatgood--there's very little about it to create any real sense of intimacy withpeople. It's fine if it's used as a connection tool for real face-to-faceencounters. It can't compete with real quality time with friends and family.

Books and Multimedia

There's so much we can learn from regarding books and multimediathese days, but it's the matter of being discerning. We can either choosethe wrong things to nibble on or we can gorge too much defeating thepurpose of learning, as nothing sticks.

Travel etc

Some people travel extensively to learn; some take a particular careerpath; some others still take quite eccentric paths in life. If the motive is tolearn, neither of these is bad, provided what we're learning is positive,right, just and fair.

The watch point is simply to view our experience of living as a 'diet oflearning'; this requires discipline to create for ourselves the right learning

environment involving sufficient sources for insight, challenge and fun.


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The Reason Our Thinking Gets Us Into Problems &What to Do About It

"We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are."

Anas Nin (originally from the Jewish Talmud).

The angry person sees an angry, snarling world before him or her just asmuch as the wise elderly man or lady (from their years of grindingwisdom) sees a world that's not that dissimilar from what theyexperienced back in their deep, dim past. Things are as they are, yet wecolour them this way and that by, and via, how we see ourselves.

And this is the perfect window into the soul and spirit of the person,never mind the eyes. This is how we gain a glimpse of the person actingbefore us.

When we interact with a person who's continually finding fault in things

and never truly satisfied, chances are they're deeply dissatisfied withinthemselves and perhaps the perfectionist streak that drives them is nowtrying to drive everyone else (crackers!).

Equally, when the person before us is calm and at peace with thegoings-on before them, they see no need to throw the baby out with thebathwater. They're encouraging; unless of course they see things worthyof criticism.

How do we want to be seen?

Acknowledging the Human Condition of Flawed Sight

The key default of our very human undertaking is we're all confoundedso much (or little) by our propensity to see things askew. The chorus toAustralian Crawl's early 1980s hit, Things Don't Seem, hits this nail on itshead.

Things just

Don't seem

To be going right

Our very egocentricities are a hard force to resist, and this is why anadherence and a dedication to the truth (at all times) is a godsend for us.It's only when we willingly and habitually approach the truth, come whatmay, that we begin to see how tragically flawed our sight is.

And funnily enough, when we're truthful about things and our insight iscorrect for the most part, we establish for ourselves an abiding peace.This helps us not only see the world aright, but it helps us not be overlycritical and skewed in our thinking and judgment.

There is no reason why we can't see things as they actually are.


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One Single Thought Guaranteed to Improve YourLife

"A warrior thinks of [their] death when things become unclear. The ideaof death is the only thing that tempers our spirit."[1]

I suspect there are some people who get sick of people like me, raving

on about life and spirituality, meaning and purpose; bashing our gumstoward the evangelising of the 'good life,' as if that were the only thing oftrue importance.

Well, I and others like me don't apologise. We see that there's a greatdeal more to life than what's readily apparent and this is manifestedmost often by the problems and opportunities that come and go all thetime in every person's life.

There are those who don't want to be reminded and there are those whodo; the ones like me who're incessantly on the search for 'the meaning tolife.'

"A GOOD name is better than precious perfume, and the day of deathbetter than the day of one's birth."

-Ecclesiastes 7:1 (Amplified Version).

There's one thing anyone can do to improve their quality of and outlookupon life. This one thing--a thought--is so easy; but there's onecondition--we've got to approach this thought positively, always. This iscritically important; people might become suicidal otherwise.

This simple thing will ensure our lives continue to gain more and morecontext; that meaningfulness will build and build and joy will be the

result, apart from a bunch of other spin-off virtues. We'll become morepatient and our priorities and relationships will begin to make moresense and will inevitably become easier to manage.

This simple yet powerful thing is a close attendance to the key fact oflife.

"None of us can hold back our spirit from departing. None of us has thepower to prevent the day of our death. There is no escaping thatobligation, that dark battle."

-Ecclesiastes 8:8(NLT).

This one single thought is: to reflect over the circumstances, the impacts,the meaning, and the cost of our death . Each day, every day, we shouldspend some solemn moments considering the thought of our imminentdeath i.e. as if we were to die this day; to-day.

Death is truth; justice is balance. Until we commit to taste-testing ourdeath on a regular basis we won't really know what life is really about;

what life could be like. We start doing this and we connect suddenly to areal world--the suffering world. Our gifts of compassion grow in thisseed-bed of thought. Our mind informs our heart.

The vast majority of humanity run from the idea of death--scared todeath, pardon the pun! So, let's add one more virtue for the personreflecting often over their death--courage. This one can't be far from thetop of the character tree.

Something from the biblical sage Qoheleth to close:

"A wise person thinks a lot about death, while a fool thinks only abouthaving a good time."

-Ecclesiastes 7:4 (NLT).

[1] Carlos Castaneda, The Wheel of Time: The Shamans of AncientMexico, Their Thoughts about Life, Death and the Universe (LosAngeles, California: LA Eidolona Press, 1971, 1998), p. 39.


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What You Think of Me is Absolutely None of MyBusiness

IT MIGHT sound rather obvious, but we can't affect the thinking ofotherpeople. In fact, you might even say,

Tell me something we don't already know, and don't waste my time withsuch obvious statements of fact!

But, there's a practical difference between knowing this truth and reallylivingit.

This truth of not being able to overtly influence others' perceptions of usis probably one of the most powerfully empowering concepts known tohuman experience. There's a level of true mature acceptance involved inreally taking hold of this.

'What you think of me':

Messes with my mind if I dwell upon it i.e. what I thinkyou're thinking.

Then my perception of you and our interaction is slanted toward areality that cannot, in fact, be real--it has "me" all over it, not "us" plusthe situational context;

Is based only on what you see--a separate reality to mine. No matterhow much I try I cannot see as you see;

May impact upon me and will cause me to reflect upon ourinteractions, and I can't help that. How I reflect and the conclusionsand attributions I draw from my reflections are my responsibilityentirely;

Cannot and should not ever become a concern of mine unless itbecomes an issue for you to broach with me--then I need to work withyou toward a win/win outcome if that's at all possible;

Tells me, if I'm intuitive, what I (and only I) can do to improve ormaintain things between us. If I'm 'picking up' anything intuitively, I'llcheck with you first to ensure there is a truth basis to it;

Is important, but only to the extent that it helps us to just be ourselvestogether.

Mind games are no fun, not for the person suffering them or for thepersons impacted on the other side of things.

We are best to discipline ourselves and hold ourselves to account,reacting to things only of pure fact. We'll hence be amazed at what is notthere!


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Making Up Your Own Mind

Far from telling you what to do, I can let you in on a powerful truth thatcan transform your life and your self-esteem. Try this and I guaranteeyou'll be amazed by the results of your own pre-programmed auto-suggestion. I've done it and it's brought me most of the time to the brinkof a self-fulfilled prophesy.

It's simply this: make up your own mind "who" you want others to seeyou as, and then simply start to see them seeing you just like this personyou've created. It's the new "you."

For example, if you want your supervisor to see you as diligent andtrustworthy, why not simply start seeing them in your interactions asvaluing you for these qualities. It's amazingly easy to do this if you've gota healthy, positive self-esteem. (But you can't get a healthy, positive self-esteem without some act of boldness toward it--just make a start.)

The truth is we do this without thinking anyway, but we invariably slate

ourselves pessimistically thinking others are thinking negative thingsabout us. And at least half the time it's probably not true. In this, we canonly set ourselves up to fail.

But, instead, we can start to dream up our own destiny by creatingothers' perceptions of us. We just need to make sure these 'scripts' we'redesigning and writing (i.e. bringing to habit) are good ones based onmutual benefit i.e. so that they will 'stick.'

Making up our own minds as to how we want to be seen will inevitablygive us the impetus to succeed in life because it will force us to reflect onwho we want to be.

It's your life! It's yours to determine.

We must get to know ourselves and our passions; what we were madefor. This is the essential starting point, for if we know the answers tothese questions the other people in our lives (even our bosses) are justactors helping us bring our dreams into reality.

Again, I can't over-emphasize... we create self-talk in a microsecondabout what we think others are thinking of us; a massive percentage ofthe time we're not even close to understanding the real thoughts of

others (unless we're expert psychologists or psychiatrists).

Rather than attribute their thoughts about us as negative, we can equallyattribute these as positives--and therefore reap increased stocks of self-esteem and power to grow and ultimately contribute to broader goalsthrough amplified influence.


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Thinking & Acting on Manual To AvoidAccidents & Failures

Every time we have a mishap, almost without exception, it is due tosome sort of lapse, error, mistake, calculated risk or violation. If we werechildren, we could almost certainly be characterised as either childish(unintentional motivation) or foolish (intentional motivation) in these

situations.The trouble is we're all fallible humans. No matter the planning and anyamount of risk mitigation we put in, there will still be incidents. Some arebecause we intentionally violated the rules; others because we just didn'tthink. Some others, further, because others didn't think and we're caughtbetween the proverbial rock and hard place.

Natural consequences come to bear.

It's like me walking along a paved pathway. The slightest irregularity inthe butted pavers or slabs is an ever-present hazard. You guessed it, if

anyone's going to have an embarrassing slip it will be me! I have theclumsy gene.

About the best thing we can do to lessen our chances of having mishapsentirely is learning how to think manually and then do this eventually(over time) in automatic.

To think and act manually means staying present, and thinking withfocus in the present world context and acting accordingly. For instance,when we walk we focus on the actual placement of the foot with ourproprioceptive senses alive to all irregularities so our body respondsappropriately and safely. Result: no sprained ankle or knee when the

ground gives way, or we miss our footing, as happens occasionally does.

This works in every way we use our bodies. The following steps areexercises for building manual thinking/acting, excerpted from You Lead,They'll Follow[1]:

- "Frequently stop and ask yourself the key awareness question: 'Righthere, right now, what is happening, internally and externally?'

- "Every half-hour stop whatever you are doing and ask the keyawareness question.

- "Every time you change direction, whether walking, turning your heador moving differently, ask yourself the key awareness question.

"Constantly practice being your own silent non-judgmental observeror witness."

This might appear to warrant an excessive amount of concentration. Itactually works in reverse to this. I believe we actually build morecapacity and broader focus capabilities when we build our thinking/actingmanual skills. It's a mental discipline and skill that almost anyone canlearn if they're determined to.

And it's not only going to help us not make slips and mistakes with oursafety, it will also alert us to bad moral choices and failures too.

Think of the person deceived over time to enter into an affair. They'reclearly not thinking manually, logically. They're living a fantasy, which isheavily contingent on the thinking of both the past and future, butexecuted in the dangerous present.

Also, when we take the easy way out (which is an immoralchoice) we'rechoosing to ignore the present needs for both ourselves and others

affected. There's a delusion present, and because we aren't i.e.present,we go blissfully unaware of the fact. Ignorance reigns.

The present holds the key to our lives. It's the place of universalinfluence as we create our own futures using the God-given potential weall possess.

Embrace it; the present!

[1] Acknowledgement: Daniel Kehoe, You Lead, They'll Follow: How toinspire, lead and manage people. Really. Vol. 3 (North Ryde, NSW:

McGraw-Hill Australia, 2004), p. 74-75. Material in this article comesfrom these two pages of the book. Daniel Kehoe acknowledges thecontributor, David Deane-Spread, as the author of this particularmaterial.


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Be The Change! Do It Don't Just Say It

"Be the change you want to see in the world."Mahatma Gandhi

THIS QUOTE IS AN AMAZING TRUTH toward the 'doing' rather thansimply the 'saying'. Ghandi was without doubt one of the most incrediblehuman beings who ever lived. What was it that he saw in the world thatcommanded him to believe this and therefore actually 'do' it? There

seems to be so much talk and so little action these days; it is wearisomebelieving people who command your attention when they promisechange, when you know to expect more of the same.

Sayin' and doin'. These two words are poles apart, worlds apart. Whenwe've heard it all and seen very little there can be an incredible sense ofdisillusionment that pervades us. This might look like a form of learnedhelplessness, as we see things in our world requiring change inresponse to the truth we see, yet there is no change, and may never beany. Now that's not a good looking picture. It reminds me of sayings like,"Nothing changes if nothing changes," or "What is the definition ofinsanity: expecting vastly different results from the same methods".Insanity.

We've heard of the Intelligence Quotient, but what I am more interestedwith here is the 'Credibility Quotient'. How is a person to becomecredible and maintain credibility? I'm not going to suggest anythingscientific. But I would suggest that if people say what they mean andmean what they say, and prove it by actuallydoing it, it makes a strongcase for their credibility, and the efficacy of change. They're easier totrust and follow the next time around.

Credibility and trust are crucial in leadership. Without these elements a

leader will struggle to command any sense of respect with his or hercharges. So, what gives with credibility-what does it look like? It meansthat if you're a leader you must be prepared to be 'part of the pain' ofchange if you expect to see it work. A leader needs to get in and get dirtywith the change by getting involved. Now, this just makes pure commonsense to me, but it is amazing how many so-called leaders simply don'tpay any interest in getting involved, and making the necessary sacrificesin leading people through a change process. The character (humility andrespect etc) of the leader comes out when people see them actually

committing to the changes they all see as required-they share a commonunderstanding and a common goal.

Change in the home is very similar. If you're in a relationship and there isabuse or inequity, you want and need change. If you see no commitmentto change, or your partner is simply saying things to appease you, it's aworry. How do you facilitate the change you want to see? You could "bethe change" as Gandhi suggests. It's a good starting point. Even morepointedly, if you are the partner who is the perpetrator of the abuse, "Be

the change" you want to see; actually start doing it one-day, one-moment-at-a-time. Don't make excuses or put it off any longer: do it now!Continuing change in this environment is simple if you keep it that way.Like giving anything up, simply keep going one-moment-at-a-time and Ican guarantee you the forces that seem so powerful now won't be in amonth or two. That might seem a way off; focus: one-day-at-a-time.

"Doing change" means staying within yoursphere of influence. This is soimportant. How many people get cheesed off with things that concernthem, but they don't have the ability to change? This is a waste ofenergy. Let's explore the remedy. Let's take a look at a unique

characteristic we all have: the ability to form originalperceptions.Perceptions are funny things; we all have them and they are so varied,and even subtle differences place us a long way away from each other. Ifwe are wise we'll seek to test our perceptions far enough to say, "Can Ido something about this concern?" If the answer is 'yes' it is somethingwe can influence: we can actually do something about it. This remindsme of the slogan World Vision used in their 40-hour famine promotionthis year... 'Do something... Do something real... Do somethingelse' (other than procrastinate). There is no sense in getting 'all in a tizz'about something we can't do anything about, so if the answer to our

question is 'no' we need to learn to move on, and as the Serenity Prayersuggests, we need to 'accept the things we cannot change'.

Now, we commence a totally different ball game if the answer was 'yes'and we feel sufficiently passionate about it. This is where the workbegins. We've done the easy bit, now the 'proof will be in the pudding' asthey say. Enabling a change process to the "doing" requires planning,commitment, energy and resources. It can only be limited by a lack ofpassion and commitment.


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I heard recently that a way to reach your goals was via the "bridge ofself-discipline". Isn't it correct? We can't achieve any worthwhile goalwithout needing to restrain our desires. Whether our desire might bestunted by laziness (procrastination) or fed by greed, the antidote is self-discipline; diligence in one word. This word symbolises the correct spiritin activity. It is everything dependable, done in the right way, and with theright intent.

Doing the things our mind and heart says are important-those things we

can actually do-is really important for our self-belief and self-efficacy.Doing things, over simply just saying them, is such a pointer of characterbecause it shows people around you how diligent you are, howcommitted to ideals you are, and how compassionate you are.

If you are able to consistently convert the things you say to the activity ofdoing them, 'Then, my son [ordaughter]' as Rudyard Kipling said in hispoem "If", 'You will be a Man [orWoman].'


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Meeting Your Destiny In The Wonderful Sea ofOpportunity The Art of Preparation

PREPARATION IS THE KEY to life. Let me use a common everydayexample to illustrate the point. At a train station recently, a middle-agedwoman was in front of me fumbling with her handbag and in a panickedstate trying to feed a $20 note into the ticket machine. A station officer

approaches to see if he can assist, and he can't. Getting frustrated at thestation officer she leaves fuming to find out that the machine takes onlysmaller notes.

I observe her as she leaves and she is very distressed. It was too late tooffer her change for her money; I didn't have the presence of mind in anyevent. The issue at its root cause is she didn't prepare her journey wellenough. She didn't make/take the time to ensure she could get onto thetrain uninhibited. And this is so true to life for us all. We all end up gettingcaught out because we run out of time, revealing we haven't plannedeffectively enough. It happens sooner or later, and more to some than to

others. There's a wisdom lesson here. Those who prepare well, go betterin life.

Actor Denzel Washington has said, "Luck is where opportunity meetspreparation." In other words, there's no such thing as luck - we're in theright place at the right time because we have prepared for theopportunity and were able to embrace it. We planned and saw ahead.The opportunities of life await, and they occur, and they wait for noperson. When we're prepared it's great, when we're not it causes us topanic as if the world were coming to an end. Most of the time the onlyconsequence is we 'have to catch the next train.' I'm sure you'd agree it's

rarely enough to panic for. But we hate to be caught unprepared.I want to suggest that this idea, the one of 'opportunity meetingpreparation,' is very similar to the theory ofpersonal masteryI've writtenabout previously.

There are three stages that define both ideas.

One: There is something we "can do." It is to prepare. It is also inpersonal mastery terms accepting the current reality. Both things we"can do."

Two: There is something that "comes." It is the opportunity. It is also inpersonal mastery terms the vision of personal mastery. Both come to us;we can create the circumstances that they come, by either setting upother things to support the presentation of the opportunity, and also by'visioning' the idea of personal mastery at the individual, personal level.

Three: Then there is the "outcome." The former idea suggests that 'luck'can be the outcome. Like when someone says of you getting somethingyou wanted, "You were lucky." It is also the achievement of personal

mastery. I suppose in theory, we never entirely and ultimately 'get there,'but in essence we achieve certain levels of personal mastery.

Preparation is the key to life. It demonstrates:

Wisdom through the foresight of seeing ahead and planning for theperceived eventualities;

Patience through faith and courage to invest time, which at times is donewithout the guarantee of a return; and

Diligence that's prepared to do what is needed to be done.

Preparation's benefits are peace and well-being i.e. shalom. It gives usthe opportunity for a balanced life; a life lived in true perspective.

Perspective in turn is life-giving promoting every good virtue. It brings usto but the very beginning of a wonderful spiritual journey and reality. Asthe saying goes, 'The best is yet to come' for such a person on such a

journey.

As Baden Powell and the cub scouts movement used to say, "Beprepared."


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The Gap Between Saying and Doing

I am often perplexed at how often I still fail at the basic things. These arethings I say I'm going to do but yet still I cannot do consistently. Like theday before yesterday I spent the whole day trying to work out solutionsto the two areas of my life that I still fail in; serving cheerfully throughwhat feels like constant interruptions at work, and being more tolerant in

certain situations around the home. As I analyse my life, I find my otherroles and other parts of my roles going really well, yet I've stumbled tooconsistently in these two areas and I want to change.

The Message tells me that [something] "within me keeps sabotaging mybest intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don't have what ittakes. I can will it, but I can't do it. I decide to do good, but I don't reallydo it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, suchas they are, don't result in actions. Something has gone wrong deepwithin me and gets the better of me every time."[1] (Reader: Do yourelate to this in areas of your life?)

It's coming time for push to come to shove. I need to change. Do youever feel this way? I'm not sure this will work but I'm trying it anyway.This is a public declaration in the desperation to finally get it right.

I'm thinking while I'm at it, that if I experience this, then possibly you doto. Does this reading above resonate with you like it did me? Are youunable to change something in your life that exasperates you? Don't giveup. Keep trying, and keep trying new and innovative ways; somethingwill work for you eventually, just like I know it will for me!

My present method is this: I need to have a focused mind and adisciplined heart, and be prepared to meditate daily on the standard

responses to both these issues and fix them at the 'cause,' not thesymptom end. The problem's with me and my response. Why am Iunhappy with these things? Some of the reading I've done suggests thatit could be due to problems with my "subjective well-being."[2] This is anelaborate way of saying I'm unhappy with things that are in any eventoutside of my control. When things are beyond your control it'ssomewhat impractical and illogical to get concerned about them. Yet,that's my problem. That's what must change. My perception of theproblem; I need to acceptI cannot change everything.

My challenge is to develop mental processes to focus my mind anddiscipline my heart. To focus my mind, I need to control my thoughts inthe moment. To discipline my heart I need to resist the temptation tostubbornness and self-pity, pure and simple.

[1] Romans 7:18-20 (Msg).

[2] See Parrott, L & L., Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts (SYMBIS),(Grand Rapids, Michigan: Zondervan, 1995, 2006), p. 66.


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Resisting Speaking Or Thinking Negatively ofPeople

I was taken by the quotation below when I first read it. It resoundedwithin me because it spoke truthfully and to the heart about what Istruggle with and what I think all people struggle with, in ourrelationships. We wouldn't admit it but how quickly do we undermine

another person? If we don't say it, it's often thought about, particularlyregarding people we're threatened by.

Check this out:

"If we find ourselves secretly rejoicing in the news of someone'smisfortune, we know we have some inner work to do. Somehow, thatresponse suggests that we feel cheated in some way, perhaps becausesome expectations of life have gone unfulfilled. As we become aware ofthese inner reactions, we can also practice the inner generosity ofwishing another well while refraining from any comment at all."[1]

Let's break this nugget of wisdom down...Rejoicing At Another's Misfortune

Let's be honest. It happens. It's our nature to instinctively do this. It's noteven our fault. However, it does suggest the following;

It Indicates Some Inner Work Required

Whenever we bear ill toward another person it indicates we have somework to do within our heart specifically and generally -- specificallyregarding the actual person the ill will is directed to, and generallybecause we're obviously capable of a recurrence in the future. It's

nothing to be ashamed of, but we ought to work on it. Is it that we feelcheated in some way and/or our expectations have surpassed the realityof our actual position in life?

Awareness

The biggest barrier to improving anything is a lack of awareness. If we'reaware of the issue then the only other thing that can get in the way islack of will (or power of the mind) to actually do what you need to do,and do it often enough to create a good habit so we continue to do it. We

must simply act on our awareness and do it over and over again by;

Practicing Inner Generosity

Replacing bad habits with good habits is a key to behaviour modification.People who wish to give up smoking succeed better when they replacesmoking with exercise which naturally releases endorphins -- the 'feelgood' naturally-occurring human biochemical. It impacts on their self-esteem too. Likewise, the way to resist speaking or thinking wrong ofpeople is to get generous -- act with generosity. Generosity has magicspiritual juice about it; it frees us. Practicing innergenerosity is wishinganother well.

Refraining From Any Comment At All

We always seem to want credit for our good thoughts and our goodbehaviours. When we've suddenly replaced ill will with generosity, we'llbe tempted to want or take some credit. The most honourable thing todo, however, is not make any comment at all -- let it go. We should rejectthe inner need for our ego's to be stroked. If our positive act isrecognised, merely a humble and real 'thank you' should suffice.

Likewise, and especially, this means refraining from bemoaning theperson.

We know we're on the right track when we positively will not tolerate anybearing ill toward another. Awareness is piqued and we're determinednot to flay another soul. Perhaps it's a pipedream to perfect this, butthere's no reason why it shouldn't be our goal and ultimate aim.

[1] P.E. Koptak, NIV Application Commentary: Proverbs, (Grand Rapids,Michigan: Zondervan, 2003), p. 446.


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Always Act As If Your Acts Were Seen

Balthasar Gracian, the 17th Century philosopher and Jesuit priest, isfamous for his Art of Worldly Wisdom aphorisms--300 in all. The onefeatured below is number 297:

Surely it is a great advantage to us to act as if we were under constantsupervision...

"He must see all round who sees that men see him or will see him. Heknows that walls have ears and that ill deeds rebound back. Even whenalone he acts as if the eyes of the whole world were upon him. For as heknows that sooner or later all will be known, so he considers those to be present as witnesses who must afterwards hear of the deed. He thatwished the whole world might always see him did not mind that hisneighbours could see him over their walls."[1]

If we were to act as if we were constantly supervised we'd scarcely do awrong thing, or at least the things we do that are wrong would force us tore-assess. We'd have the chance to turn around perhaps before it was

too late?

And of all the things we do, right or wrong, and the waywe do thesethings, diligently, lazily or otherwise, we must know that we self-judgeourselves through our consciences.

We do the right thing i.e. do a good day's work and we feel good.Alternatively, we arrive at work and feel sluggish and do nothing to breakthe cycle of mental lethargy and we inevitably reap the reward of anunfulfilled day and perhaps the guilt of not serving our employers.

The same rule is applicable in all our life roles, be they within the family,

out in the community or anything else.And in all reality there is a Supervisor in our minds.

And he works through our consciences. Being personally accountable isa great achievement that brings with it rewards we could not havepossibly foreseen.

There is no greater freedom perhaps, than melding private life withpublic and being the same person in all spheres, not minding public

showings because there was nothing to hide.

"You tell on the sin, or the sin will inevitably tell on you."-Sy Rogers.

[1] Source: http://www.balthasargracian.com/?id=297


16/20

Three Steps to a Creative Mind

Jason Clarke, it is said, flunked senior high school getting the lowestgrades in his school's history. What a failure! Well, he's paid that now,teaching many company heads and countless others how to capturetheir creativity and solve the world's problems through his 'Minds atWork' venture.

My reflections on breakfast with Clarke from earlier this year in learninghow the historical creative geniuses unlocked and harnessed theirpowerfully creative minds are as follows:

1. Firstly, we must interact with our world, experiencingand capturingthestimuli, noting it down as it comes. The greatest geniuses were diligentnote-takers. Even when we get ideas at 2 A.M. or in the bath or as we'reabout to fall asleep, we need to take this raw gold down.

2. Secondly, we must assimilate the stimuli we've noted and allow ourminds (including the powerful subconscious mind) to explore the newdata and create something from it. This process can take some time, so

a little patience is important.

3. Thirdly, we must find a way of expressing the creativity that comesfrom assimi la t ing and re-conf igur ing the data f rom ourexplorations. Expression comes in a myriad of forms, but is essentiallyabout using the developed ideas in meaningful ways.

At times, we'll get a conflagration of thoughts and ideas all lining up inunison; we're blessed as we respond in faithfulness; following, capturing,and obediently engaging our minds toward the destination of creativityand innovation.

At other times, we run dry of inspiration, but we should not be toodespondent; perhaps we just need to get ourselves some fresh exposureto the sorts of environment(s) that engender the flourishing of the rightbrain.

Getting there--running hot on creativity, with a brain and heart to burn--isnothing short of inspiring and it promotes the feeling of being totally,sensuously alive.


17/20

Head in the Clouds, Yet Feet on the Ground ThePerfect Balance

People are so often criticised for being aloof and having their head in theclouds, plainly not being aware of their environment, or the contextaround them. Then there's the person who's at the opposite extreme; gottheir nose in everyone's business. What gives?

It appears to me that this is another 'both/and' construct for us to shoottowards--why not be both aloof to the worldbut grounded to heaven. Bybeing both grounded with people and life in a practical sense andsimultaneously with our heads in the clouds (spiritually andphilosophically) we achieve both tasks of life, the theoretical and thepractical.

And I think this is what the following means, partly:

"Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights onthe realities of heaven, where Christ sits in the place of honor at God's

right hand. Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth. Foryou died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God" -Colossians 3:1-3 (NLT).

Attending to our minds, keeping them sharp, is the great objective inlife. Being sharp enough to know what to focus on and equally to knowwhat not to focus on is very important. It's probably a big part of theessence of wisdom.

The Colossians passage is speaking to us Christ-followers in a way thatwe're co-resurrected i.e. with him. There's only one sensible, logicaldirection for the co-resurrected to go--a continual i.e. habitual mindset at

the heavenly focal point.[1] We're pulled, impelled forward in this via thehonour attached to Christ. When we focus on how magnificent thatthought is we can't help being magnetically drawn to the eternally-charismatic King of kings.

And when we take this thought further we understand that the virtuouslife is grounded in 'the now,' not in the life to come, though we must livenow from the eternal worldview, having it clearly in sight and lookingback from it. Everything of God is a verb; it's mostly about doing practical

things that actually show love, joy, peace, grace, faithfulness, kindness,self-control, humility and host of other things.

Being hidden with Christ in God is ostensibly about a secret weapon--having an advantageous, privileged position, not without certainduty. We're marked, identified. We're set apart, not 'better' than othersper se, but we're different--and we ought to act differently i.e. otherworldly, i.e. not 'worldly.'

Achieving the authentic Christian life of holy living is both visionary and

practical; it's both having our head in the clouds and having our feetfirmly planted on terra firma.

[1] Fritz Rienecker & Cleon Rogers, Linguistic Key to the Greek NewTestament (Grand Rapids, Michigan: Zondervan, 1976, 1980), p.577-78.


18/20

Beat Bad Habits by Engaging "Manual Thinking"Power

"We can never see past the choices we don't understand" -The Oracle,in The Matrix Reloaded(2003).

We are so bound by our perceptions. It is the cage and formidableconstruct of the human nature. And what's the cause?

... A propensity toward false scripting...

False, errant scripts make the world run haywire. Whether they'reillustrated by wrong coding or a virus in a computer, poor learning in thehuman brain, or a machine with a faulty chip, drive belt or switch, theyironically wreak havoc everywhere but the place they're designed tofunction for. These are no longer fit-for-purpose.

A confounding paradox has emerged.

Choices

Our choice is like this... they're often based on false scripting. And wehardly ever realise it.

When we make choices in life, the choices we're destined to make, weat times don't see other options as desirable because we can'tunderstand them; we therefore don't see them the way we could. They

just don't fit us. It's the square-peg-in-the-round-hole syndrome, but in away that's not our perception in the sight of others i.e. the way otherssee us, but our own limiting perceptions of the world. In other words, wechoose the square peg.

Magnets, Boredom and Order

The human brain picks up so much junk along the journey of life. We'relike magnets picking up anything with iron in it. Some of it is polishedand chrome-plated but some of it is plain scrap metal and not worthmuch.

We run off track and the smallest things distract and deter us. We start agolden venture, and before we know it we're stuck down some alleywayor down a narrow, shallow creek--and we find it difficult to back-out. Ourconscious thinking power is limited, and somehow at the roadblock, we

run for stimulation. We get bored easily and we hate that, desperate aswe are to restore some level of mental utopia; order out of the chaos wecan't stand.

Yet, the chaos should be a sign to us where (and when) it all wentwrong. But we evade the question. We don't explore the ambiguity. Werun from it to what we know and feel comfortable with. (Recall that lasttime you 'comfort ate?')

Scripting (Programmed Thought)

Working through and correcting false scripts is hard; it's not natural forus. But, it is achievable.

Physiologically, (as with good scripts) false scripts--which facilitate badhabits, wrong choices, decisions and actions--use slick myelinations inthe brain that enable quick, efficient synapses[1] to occur.

These myelinations are insulated and protected 'brain-wiring' likecontrolling electrical circuits; they're finished, sealed roadways poweredfor, and facilitating, thought--but, in these cases, they run to a placecalled 'nowhere.' They're like natural tributaries of a stream where water

flows naturally, of its own accord. And these streams flow errantly,entirely to the wrong destinations.

We're more adept and more naturally inclined to think along the already-myelinated neural pathways (the cage and formidable construct of thehuman nature). We can see here how insidious habitual thinking is.

The Answer: Manual Thinking

But, we can revert to 'manual' thinking at any time we choose, it justneeds to be a conscious choice... otherwise our subconscious mind willtake over and make the choice for us i.e. to run on autopilot, hence the

return to the entrenched (false) neural pathways and the consequentfalse script is run again, reinforcing the bad habit toward wrong choices,decisions and likely actions.

The power of the human mind is large, and we hardly ever tap intoit. This is because we're inherently lazy thinkers; again, this is 'the cageand formidable construct of the human nature' we're talking about.

We can choose to 'step up' mentally at any time, however.

"We hardly ever realize that we can cut anything out of our lives,


19/20

anytime, in the blink of an eye... a [person] is only the sum of his [or her]personal power, and that sum determines how he [or she] lives and howhe [or she] dies."[2]

This personal power can be harnessed any time. It's quite simply amatter ofourchoice.

ENDNOTES:[1] A 'synapse' is "the functional junction between two neurons... [it] maybe electrical or chemical." Every feeling, thought and action we have or

make involves thousands of these neurological synapses. Source:Tortora & Grabowski, Principles of Anatomy and Physiology, 9th ed.(New York: John Wiley and Sons, Inc., 2000), Glossary G-37.[2] Carlos Castaneda, "The Journey to Ixtlan" in The Wheel of Time: TheShamans of Ancient Mexico, Their Thoughts about Life, Death and theUniverse (Los Angeles: Eidolona Press, 1998), pp. 75, 99.


20/20

The Romance of Motivation and Influence

What is it that wins or otherwise engages the hearts and minds? Iprofiled in an earlier article the principle of DIPI: things that get ourattention because they're dangerous, important, pleasurable andinteresting. But it's only when we match these situations with a desiredoutcome usually in the negative sense that we understand its power.

1. Dangerous

We all scare and it's naturally our want for survivalthat makes us reactto the things that incite fear. Preventing serious injury, illness or death isa key life undertaking though we're not generally apt at thinking aboutthese things; yet we take measures every day to ensure we stay safe.

2. Important

All of us want to do things that are important to us. We prioritise ourimportant relationships. We also generally hate wasting time on thingsthat, and people who, aren't important. We want to make the most of our

time. So, the desired outcome is to stop wasting time.3. Pleasurable

Some elevate this to top position--these are people with a death wish.Nevertheless, we all strive to avoid pain.

4. Interesting

Things that are interesting fuel the Western world. We have a naturaldesire to resist boredom.

Putting all this together tells us something about our humanity and thedrives of salubrious motivation we naturally fall in love with.

We can't help wanting to live without fear of harm, our time's precious,and we resist pain and boredom (which is simply another form of pain,particular in Western culture).

Consolidating these principles which motivate all of us should be part ofany person's leadership strategy in winning or engaging (influencing) thehearts and minds of those they lead.

But, this is not simply about leadership. It's about being able to motivate

others, including ourselves; it's about understanding and utilising thestraightforward, knock-'em-dead drives of motivation.

All our communication should attend to one or more of these factors tomaximise our influence and effectiveness.

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