KEEPING WELL

the key to

Feeling stressed out or anxious? Here’s how to

unlock inner peace at key moments in your life.

By NIRMALA SIVANATHAN

tranquillity

14 WELLNESS FOR ALL

PH

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S: Getty Im

ages, Istockphoto

If  you  live  in  Singapore,  you  will  be  familiar  with  terms  such  as  “exam  fever”,  “performance  anxiety”  and  “work  stress”.  Although  terms  like  

these  are  oftentimes  used  loosely  in  a  social  context  to  complain  about  the  usual  worries,  key  moments  of  anxiety  and  stress  in  your  life  can  push  you  to  breaking  point.  

According  to  Ms  Geraldine  Koempel,  a  psychologist  with  The  Counselling  Place,  “stress  and  anxiety  belong  to  normal  development”.  

“It  only  becomes  a  problem  when  we  are  unable  to  find  a  way  to  deal  with  the  cause  of  the  anxiety,”  she  adds.  

Too  much  stress  and  unresolved  anxiety  can  cause  you  to  experience  sleeping  disorders  and,  in  worst  case  scenarios,  panic  attacks.  Psychosomatic  symptoms  (concerning  both  mind  and  body)  are  also  common,  with  individuals  suffering  from  anxiety-­‐related  stomach  aches,  chest  pain  and  headaches.  You  may  also  feel  unusually  sad,  angry  and  irritated.

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In  short,  your  mental  health  —  what  the  World  Health  Organisation  defines  as  “a  state  of  well-­‐being  in  which  the  individual  can  realise  his  or  her  own  abilities,  cope  with  the  normal  stresses  of  life,  and  work  productively  and  fruitfully”  —  will  be  affected.

Allswell  takes  a  look  at  five  key  events  in  a  person’s  life  that  can  result  in  stress  and/  or  anxiety,  and  how  to  regain  your  composure  in  these  situations.  

Exam feverThese  days,  exam  fever  is  not  just  something  that  strikes  students  taking  their  Primary  

School  Leaving  Exam,  GCE  ‘O’  Level  or  GCE  ‘A’  Level  examinations.  In  today’s  high  pressure  education  system,  exam  fever  can  strike  at  any  age.  

Ms  Koempel  says,  “People  of  any  age  can  experience  anxiety.  The  anxiety  might  be  caused  by  different  things  at  different  ages,  but  in  the  end,  it  is  always  about  how  the  person  resolves  questions  such  as  ‘Am  I  going  to  make  it?  Am  I  going  to  be  able  to  please  others  with  my  choice  of  action  or  behaviour?’”  

Children  might  feel  that  they  are  just  not  good  enough,  or  that  they  haven’t  worked  hard  enough.  As  children  get  older,  they  might  face  anxiety  thinking  that  failing  a  crucial  examination  could  cost  them  a  spot  with  their  preferred  university  and/or  employer.

If  you  are  a  student  and  preparing  

for  an  exam,  what  you  can  do  is  to  take  control  of  the  situation  you  are  in  right  now.  Do  up  a  study  schedule  and  get  your  study  plans  organised.  Cut  down  on  stimulants  such  as  tea,  coffee  and  caffeinated  soft  drinks,  and  start  going  to  bed  early  as  your  worries  will  always  seem  bigger  when  you’re  tired.  Regular  exercise  can  also  take  your  mind  off  your  problems.  

If  you  are  a  parent,  you  too  can  help  by  taking  a  step  back  from  your  own  expectations  and  reminding  your  kids  that  they  can  only  do  their  best  —  and  that  their  best  is  all  that  matters  to  you.

Your first job There’s  no  greater  moment  of  adjustment  than  the  moment  you  stop  being  a  student  and  

start  being  an  employee.  In  one  stroke,  it  can  seem  like  the  things  that  used  to  make  a  difference  in  the  past  don’t  really  matter  anymore.  For  example,  plain  old  hard  work  and  aptitude  might  not  be  enough  to  get  you  recognition  in  the  working  world.  Instead,  it  might  seem  that  you  need  both  aptitude  and  people  skills  to  get  ahead.  

One  way  you  can  prepare  for  this  is  by  going  on  internships  or  work  attachments  while  you  are  still  at  school.  These  will  give  you  glimpses  into  how  the  working  world  works  and  help  boost  your  confidence.

And  remember,  everybody  around  you,  from  the  Chief  Executive  Officer  of  the  company  to  the  top  performer  on  

your  team,  had  to  start  from  somewhere.  They  all  experienced  the  same  insecurities  and  setbacks  at  one  point  or  another.  What  really  matters  is  how  you  deal  with  these  challenges  and  learn  from  them.

Getting marriedIt  should  be  one  of  the  happiest  moments  of  a  person’s  life,  but  for  many,  it’s  

also  one  of  the  most  stressful.  Causes  of  stress  include  worries  on  how  to  pay  for  the  wedding  banquet,  dealing  with  your  new  in-­‐laws,  and  even  the  logistics  of  packing  up  your  things  and  moving  into  a  new  home.  

Adding  to  this  is  the  mental  stress  of  transitioning  from  the  life  of  being  a  single  to  being  married.  It’s  no  surprise  that  couples  complain  of  stress,  anxiety  and  frequent  disagreements  in  the  period  leading  up  to  the  actual  wedding.

Ms  Koempel  says  that  a  lot  of  the  stress  is  caused  by  your  own  expectations  of  married  life  and  your  family’s  expectations  of  your  wedding  and  marriage.

When  making  big  decisions,  take  a  step  back  and  consider  if  what  you’re  doing  is  truly  what  you  want  or  what  you  think  society  wants  you  to  do.  Don’t  think  you  can  afford  a  huge,  fancy  wedding  banquet?  Then  it  might  

be  worth  having  a  heart-­‐to-­‐heart  with  your  future  spouse  and  coming  to  a  joint  decision  to  have  a  simple  yet  elegant  dinner  with  close  relatives.Don’t  forget,  the  best  part  of  

getting  married  is  that  you  are  no  longer  alone.  You  don’t  have  to  face  these  stresses  and  anxieties  by  

TOO MUCH STRESS AND UNRESOLVED ANXIETY CAN CAUSE YOU TO EXPERIENCE SLEEPING DISORDERS AND, IN WORST CASE SCENARIOS, PANIC ATTACKS.

According to Ms Geraldine Koempel, a psychologist with The Counselling Place, “Anxiety is a normal reaction to an event or situation that causes stress and can actually help us deal with the situation.” Most of us manage to cope with this anxiety and actually grow from it. But when your anxiety becomes too much to handle, or if it causes your life to be more difficult than is necessary, then you should see a mental health professional says Ms Koempel. This is because you might have what is known as General Anxiety Disorder. The mental health professional you see can then help evaluate your situation and recommend treatment methods such as psychotherapy, behaviour modification therapy, cognitive therapy and/or medication.

When to seek help

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KEEPING WELL

PASSION FLOWER A report published by CNN.com in October 2011 said that there is strong evidence to suggest that herbal supplements containing passionflower extracts can help people deal with symptoms of anxiety.

16 WELLNESS FOR ALL

yourself  anymore.  Talk  it  out  with  your  loved  one  and  help  each  other  out.

Having a babySo  you’ve  been  married  for  a  few  years  and  you’re  finally  ready  to  start  a  family.  Months  

go  by  and  nothing  happens.  So  you  wait  for  a  few  more  months  and  still,  nothing  takes  hold.  By  now,  you’re  starting  to  worry.  Is  there  something  wrong  with  you  or  your  spouse?  Are  you  running  out  of  time  to  have  a  baby?

Add  to  these  inappropriate  questions  from  well-­‐meaning  relatives  on  when  you’re  planning  to  have  a  baby  and  it’s  a  stage  set  for  anxiety,  stress  and  despair.  

Whatever  you  decide  to  do  as  a  result,  whether  it  is  to  go  for  tests  or  explore  fertility  treatments,  just  keep  in  mind  that  you’re  not  the  only  one  with  this  problem.  According  to  the  latest  figures  by  the  Ministry  of  Health,  3,271  Singaporean  couples  used  Assisted  Reproduction  (AR)  treatments  in  2009.  

IT’S QUITE COMMON TO SEE COUPLES CONCEIVING JUST WHEN THEY GIVE UP ON THE IDEA OF HAVING A BABY AND STOPPED STRESSING.

This  is  almost  double  the  number  of  AR  treatments  done  in  2004.  Don’t  isolate  yourself  —  open  up  and  talk  to  friends  and  family  who  care  for  you.

You  can  also  boost  your  fertility  by  cutting  down  on  alcohol,  avoiding  cigarettes,  maintaining  a  well-­‐balanced  diet,  and  keeping  stress  in  check.  After  all,  it’s  quite  common  to  see  couples  conceiving  just  when  they  give  up  on  the  idea  of  having  a  baby  and  stopped  stressing.

Gearing up for retirementSo  it’s  time  to  put  your  feet  up  now  that  you  are  no  longer  in  

the  9–5  work  grind.  But  are  you  really  prepared  for  life  after  retirement?  Most  people  happily  put  away  their  work  clothes  only  to  battle  anxiety  over  financial  worries,  feelings  of  redundancy  and  boredom.  

The  best  thing  is  to  be  ready.  Make  sure  you  have  sufficient  savings  or  consider  working  a  little  while  longer.  Plan  ahead  and  create  a  meaningful  routine  filled  with  social  activities,  time  for  hobbies,  time  with  loved  ones,  exercise  and  relaxation.  This  will  give  you  something  to  look  forward  to  and  help  you  enjoy  your  golden  years  to  the  fullest!

ALL-NATURAL CHILL PILLS Looking for a quick mood booster? Here are some all-natural supplements that

are said to promote good mental health!

VALERIAN ROOT This root is said to reduce anxiety and stress according to a report published by the Mayo Clinic in April 2011. It is generally considered safe at recommended doses but can cause some side effects such as headaches and drowsiness.

OMEGA 3 Here’s more evidence to suggest that fish oil is truly some sort of miracle substance: a study done by researchers at Ohio State University in July 2011 found that consuming fish oil resulted in a marked reduction in both inflammation and anxiety in a group of healthy young people.

KEEPING WELL

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