Holiday Stress Managment

The Gift of Resilience

~ Jacquelyn M. Paykel, M.D.

I loved Christmas…

My idea of Christmas…

Christmas 1965

Resilience

Resilience in people is when individuals exhibit positive behavioral adaptation during

times of significant stress.

Resilience

Internal Factors We create these within us

External Factors We need others to help us create these

Internal factors = Resilience

Relationships that provide care and support, create love & trust and offer encouragement within and outside the family Principle #1 – there are three types of

people in your life

Three types of people in your life(Principle #1)

There are three types of people in your life:

Those who want to help you▪ Assist with your growth

Those who want to hurt you▪ Want you to stay the same

Those who want to leave you alone▪ Don’t have the energy to help you

~ Deepak Chopra

Internal factors = Resilience

Relationships that provide care and support, create love & trust and offer encouragement within and outside the family

The capacity to make realistic plans ▪ Keep calendars, maintain sleep schedules, say “no”

Having self confidence and a positive self image▪ affirmations

Developing communication skills ▪ the art of listening, the art of speaking through kindness

The capacity to manage strong feelings and impulses ▪ mindfulness

External factors = Resilience

External social support Having a close bond with at least

one family member or an emotionally stable parent Principle #2 – when we know better we

do better

When we know better, we do better (Principle #2)

We do the best that we can with the tools available to us at the time;

when we know better, we do better .

~ Maya Angelou

External factors = Resilience

External social support Having a close bond with at least

one family member or an emotionally stable parent

Receiving support or counsel from peers

Contributing to causes outside of one’s self (volunteerism)

My Pathway to Resilience

Pathway to Resilience

Childhood – 6 kids and chaos Principle #3 – our parents teach us

Our Parents Teach Us(Principle #3)

There is a reason we were born to the parents we have –

they have life lessons to teach us thatwe needed to know.

“True happiness does not come from a perfect childhood. Happiness comes from claiming our unique childhood and working through the lessons it holds for us.”

~Ann Wilson SchaefMeditations for Women Who Do Too

Much

Christmas 1973

Pathway to resilience

Childhood – 6 kids and chaos Chile – another world Early adulthood - overwhelming

inadequacy Undergrad – defining happiness Medical school – three children,

military obligations, no support Residency – work hours, stolen

childhoods Sleep = 7 hours per night (2001)

Pathway to Resilience

Military – 9/11, Mitch in WI, depression Counseling and encouraged to restore balance Breathing exercises Painting/drawing as a place to find peace

Board certification = STRESS Spiritual awakening External validation of capabilities

Private practice Defining my own self worth as a physician Environmental changes – calming music,

calming colors

Environmental Changes

Pathway to Resilience

Integrative Medicine Fellowship Spiritual literature and movies Eliminate broadcast news Aromatherapy – lavender, vanilla, citrus, cinnamon Supplements – Vitamin D, Vitamin B complex Dietary modification – Anti-inflammatory Guided imagery Exercise Yoga, tai chi Affirmations Meditation Tension Tamer tea, Green tea Expressions of creativity Journal writing, Creative writing Mindfulness

Mindfulness

Mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way: On purpose, in the present moment and non-judgmentally…it wakes us up to the fact that our lives unfold only in moments.

Experience each moment, no matter how difficult or intense, with serenity and clarity.  (e.g. car accidents)

Gain immediate access to powerful inner resources for healing. 

With repeated practice, mindfulness allows you to develop an ability to calmly step back from thoughts and feelings during stressful situations, rather than entering into a cycle of stress reactivity.

As a result, many people renew their enthusiasm for life and are better able to cope with stress.  

Three life principles

There are three types of people in your life: Those who want to help you, those who want to hurt you ; those who want to leave you alone ~ Deepak Chopra

We do the best that we can with the tools available to us at the time; when we know better, we do better ~ Maya Angelou

There is a reason we are born to the parents we have – they have lessons to teach us we needed to learn

Christmas 2008

Christmas represents …

Beauty

Spirituality

Kindness

It truly is Christmas every day

Christmas 1993

Christmas 1997