the five stages of grief
DESCRIPTION
http://positivetranceformations.com.au/blog/the-five-stages-of-grief-2/ The five stages are denial (“This can’t be happening.”), anger (“Why me? It’s not fair?”), bargaining (“I’ll do anything if only…”), depression (“It’s all hopeless”) and finally acceptance (“I can cope with this.”).TRANSCRIPT
The Five Stages Of Grief
Denial
This is the first stage of grief, the stage
when the impact of the loss hasn’t
really sunk in.
You wonder if you’ve just been
imagining those symptoms, or that the
doctor has made a mistake, or that
your significant other is just making a
bad joke about leaving you.
“This can’t be happening!” is a good
way of summarising this stage. This
stage never lasts long.
Anger
We are outraged and furious that such
a thing could happen, especially to us.
We look for the cause or something to
blame and demand that the problem be
fixed (sometimes, we blame ourselves
and get angry at ourselves).
“It’s not fair! Why me? Why is this
happening?” are frequent phrases said
by people in this stage.
During this stage, it is important to
release the anger, but we have to be
careful not to express it in harmful
ways.
Again, writing things down is a time-
honoured method of expressing it.
An excellent example of someone – or,
rather, two people – going through this
stage is found in Dylan Thomas’s
poem “Do Not Go Gentle Into That
Good Night”, where the poet tells his
dying father that “Old age should burn
and rave at close of day;/ Rage, rage
against the dying of the light.”
Read this poem aloud – it might help.
Or use physical activity as an outlet,
even if all you can do is punch a pillow.
Bargaining
Here, people try to focus on what they
can do to change the outcome
(needless to say, this stage doesn’t last
long if you have lost a loved one to
death or if you have lost your home to
a natural disaster).
You try to make a deal that will stave
off an impending loss.
In the case of divorce or redundancy,
this bargaining sometimes does reverse
the inevitable, but it doesn’t always.
Depression.
This isn’t the same as clinical
depression, although it can lead to it.
This is by far the most uncomfortable
stage of the grief process and involves
withdrawal, crying, lack of appetite,
listlessness and silence.
Two things are important to remember
if you are going through this stage or
know someone who is.
The first is that this stage is necessary
and you should not hurry through it
but let it proceed at its own pace and
resolve naturally.
The second is that you shouldn’t try to
cheer up a person going through this
stage.
It’s awkward and onlookers often feel
that they don’t have the right words to
say.
However, words are often not
necessary – just being there silently
really helps a lot of the time.
Acceptance
Here, people come to terms with their
situation and realise that they will be
able to get through whatever it is and
that everything will be well.
This is where you face the truth and
accept it, and prepare to move on.
Of course, not everyone goes through
the stages at the same pace, and how
the stages will be expressed will differ
from person to person.
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