Societies RoundupAll dams on the built up excitement should break as societies finally raise curtains on their per-formances. The Occasional Shopper is pleased to give you an exclusive sneak peak at what they have to offer:Skits:Often their unwilling muse is to be found amongst you. Their idea is to poke fun at the col-lege and the creatures that inhabit it. Their inter-view did not yield much for fear of spoilers but they did issue an ominous warning, ‘be scared; be very, very scared’. Sprinkle with goose bumps and dramatic music according to taste.Western Music:Stowed away behind the auditorium, these her-mits play away for no greater accolades than a shared love for music. However, with the help of Johnny B. Goode’s ghost that descends upon them at crunch times, Western Music has man-aged to see its name in lights. Typically being non-conformist hipsters, Sarim Ali, the direc-tor, had a raised eyebrow to offer when we asked them if they would be following the School Uni-form theme.Eastern Music:The director, Asfar, solemnly promises us that ex-cellent music is on the cards. We are also looking forward to the complementing British Raj theme for the day and truly hope that Tansen’s ghost would care to join the audience at some magical point during the night. (Please do not ask us what Tansen had to do with the British Raj. We just feel burdened to be poetic, sometimes.) Nautankye:Nautankye doesn’t take a break from its training schedule even when the elements of nature do not smile down upon it. This year has seen a dramatic increase in female members for the society: now they may be counted on fingertips. Regardless, we all know that Nautankye is never short on talent and will continue to make us laugh with its outra-geous comedies.

Dance: This society holds the audience enthralled with its visual demonstrations of 101 Ways to Balance Yourself in Precarious Situations. Accompanied by meticulous costumes and a sometimes, even a running narrative, performances by the Dance society are spectacles to behold. This time, a team of twelve dancers storms the stage. Dance society, break a leg! (Just not literally) Puppeteers:Delving deeply into craft, this society rightfully belongs in an art school. Generously funded, this society is envied by the rest. However, Ali, the di-rector, had some reasonable advice to offer to his greening contemporaries: be smart about where you spend money. Pfft, why that is just unheard of!Mime:The sadistic amongst you must already have sketched out the mental image of falling pianos but believe us when we tell you that Mime is entertaining in ways other than that. Like, they sometimes also make imaginary walls. On a se-rious note though, Mime involves plenty of hard work because communicating on stage without speech really isn’t as effortless as the Mime soci-ety makes it look. Alif Adab:First to go into secret rehearsals, Ali Adab be-lieves any leak would seriously threaten national security and contribute to the imminent extinc-tion of unicorns. We fully respect that and there-fore patiently await our turn to watch them on stage. Also, we are a little bit intimidated by Do-nia Ali, under whose directorship expectations have rocketed. We would ask them to break a leg as well but unfortunately, they already have.N.T. Mime:In comparison to traditional mime, their move-ments are less controlled and more loosely con-structed. Exaggerated drama is their trademark characteristic. We understand that this descrip-tion might sound like any teenage girl but we apologize for our lack of eloquence at summing up the awesome society that N. T. Mime is. Inter-estingly, the also seem to have an Imaad magnet embedded somewhere. Their members include not one, two but three Imaads in total.The End Films:It was never Aron Ralston; this society inspired 127 hours. Previously engaged in a heartrending mortal struggle, it eventually emerged victorious as it bagged the Best Performance award at the last festival. With a limited budget and lots of improvisation, this time Ali Ammad, the director, promises a repeat. Let’s hope The End Films can once again stun a loud, rowdy audience into im-pressed silence once again.

Ye Olde

Festive Shopper

Hey, you, First Year! Yes, you. What are you star-ing at? Stop staring. Why are you trying to be smart? Look away and do what I tell you to do. No? You are so shamelessly belligerent, my friend that it’s just hopeless!Well let’s give up all pretence because the Wel-come Festival is here and no one is trying to scare you anymore. It is the time of the year when we wholeheartedly embrace our little ones and make them a permanent part of our ‘NCA family’, as Mrs.Malhi would love to put it.It may be a two-day event, but it has a whole his-tory of endless society rehearsals, sleepless nights, hoarse throats, last-minute changes and mood swings. It would not be wrong to say that David (whose name is not David by the way; the court-yard was named after Collin David, the artist!) is the sole witness to everything that happens in NCA after 5 p.m., be it one of the Nautankye members running around without a shirt on or the Puppeteers doing their P.T display. Accord-ing to popular belief, David also took a leisurely walk through the corridors during one of the electricity break-downs at night. What a specta-cle it must have been; a dusty green mountain of a man unfastening himself from his pedestal and sauntering by, sitting down by the fountain and pondering over his raison d’être. I think someone took the idea of NCA coming to life after dark a little too seriously!The festival was much talked of as the countdown began, with the first years all eager to transform into butterflies and superheroes. Let’s wait and see what the much awaited ramp walk has to offer.The theme set for the first day of the festival, Brit-ish Raj, has an ‘educational purpose’, as Sanwal Tariq, one of the chief organizers, very solemnly stated, but be sure of the fact that one will see out-rageous interpretations of the British Raj: a group of very excited girls was heard saying, ‘Oooh, lets dress up as the The Spice Girls!’

Yes, The Spice Girls were British, but I have noth-ing more to say.The theme for the second day, School Splash, will give everyone an opportunity to feel like school-children again with all the sashes and the ties. Moreover, one won’t need to hide after throwing a water shopper at someone; how relieving is that! These two days are not regular days so let us all give up our inhibitions and have fun because it is not long before we will have to go back to the grind.

The Occasional Shopper Special Festival Edition - Under the patronage of his majesty the Prince(ipal) of Mayo School of Arts

The Mayo School of ArtsDate: 19-5-1912 The Welcome Festival 2012 - Day 1: British Raj, Day 2: School Uniform

A message from Lord Nasir the third of Canteenbury:‘Hello thank you please, sorry madam. Please don’t litter. Coke is only 15 Rupees. Aj khane mein dal chawal hai.’

It’s that time of the year again!

The Festival Committee*

Sir Splashalot says, ‘A shopper a day, keeps the summer heat away.’

Performance Schedule

Day 1(British Raj)

Paper Dress ShowAlif Adab

Slide ShoywNautankye

MimePuppeteers

Eastern

Day 2(School Uniform)

N.T. MimeThe EndDanceSkits

Western

Rashid Hadis (Decoration Team)

Ahmad Khan(Protocol Team)

Saher Naeem(Food Committee)

Zoona Jerral(Publication Incharge)

Zain Naqvi(Graphics Incharge)

Haider Ali(Sound and lighting)

Sania Azhar(Protocol Team)Mohammad Mehdi

(Security Team)

Hashim Ali(Society Co-ordinator)

Hira Qazi(Decoration Team)

The Deadly Samosa Mountain RangeThe Red Ketchup River

Design Block

Architecture BlockThe Auditorium

Ye Old Faithful Fountain

The Gate

ACROSS 2 The waiter that keeps you waiting 6 Registrar’s green relative 7 Last (and only?) classroom to be renovated 9 effeminate pole-dancing Robert Plant? 11 Most common hostelite zodiac sign? 16 Most popular smokable product in college 17 Fourth year athlete extraordinaire 18 Architecture’s menage a trois man 23 the last surviving dinosaur that took up pedagogy at NCA 24 Drawing studio storey 25 Lalarukh’s constant companion 26 Architecture’s Mr. Soft from Kashmir 27 Fifth year polar bear 28 Campus building block

Answers to cross-word: 3.ZIGGAURATS, 4.WAQAS, 6.TURAB, 11.TAURUS, 26.SHOAIB, 17.SHAHZIL, 1.SAJJAD, 22.RASHID, 9.RAFAY, 10.MOHSIN, 2.MANZOOR, 23.MALLHI, 12.LALA, 19.KIPLNG, 25.KINZA, 8.INTEZAR, 18.IJAZ, 16.GOLDLEAF, 24.FOURTH, 14.FLOWERS, 13.FAISAL, 7.DRAFTINGSTUDIO, 20.DONIA, 28.BRICK, 21.BKR, 27.BILAL, 5.BATHROOMS, 15.ALI RAZA

‘Festivals are great source of in-formal learning. NCA has a great history of festivity. Let’s keep the

tradition alive and moving?’ - Sir Sajjad Kausar

‘I am very happy to see the excitement and spirit with which the entire organizing committee is working for the festival. The infectious energy has got(ten) me excited!’ - ‘Sir’

Awais Azhar

‘I feel blessed to be part of this joyful festival, where energies are full, spirits are high, pas-sions are wild (and) brains are loaded with

creativity. Each and every participant is valu-able.’ - Sir Fakhar Ullah Tahir

The Deadly Samosa Mountain RangeThe Red Ketchup River

Design Block

Architecture BlockThe Auditorium

Ye Old Faithful Fountain

The Gate

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25

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ACROSS 2 The waiter that keeps you waiting 6 Registrar’s green relative 7 Last (and only?) classroom to be renovated 9 effeminate pole-dancing Robert Plant? 11 Most common hostelite zodiac sign? 16 Most popular smokable product in college 17 Fourth year athlete extraordinaire 18 Architecture’s menage a trois man 23 the last surviving dinosaur that took up pedagogy at NCA 24 Drawing studio storey 25 Lalarukh’s constant companion 26 Architecture’s Mr. Soft from Kashmir 27 Fifth year polar bear 28 Campus building block

DOWN 1 Hooria’s constant companion 3 Mesopotamian Pyramids 4 Warden’s green relative 5 Latest complete addition to NCA’s infrastructure 8 The photocopier that keeps you waiting 10 Front parking Prado owner 12 Textile’s only masculine presence 13 3rd~4th year dancer who claims his hair is naturally the way it is 14 Sajjad Kausar’s colourful addition to Main Courtyard 15 Auditorium techie 19 NCA’s first principal 20 Hashim’s thespian successor 21 Discoball necklace? (69) 22 Hadis Chacha’s green relative

The obligatory crossword puzzle(Answers beneath comic strip)

Answers to cross-word: 3.ZIGGAURATS, 4.WAQAS, 6.TURAB, 11.TAURUS, 26.SHOAIB, 17.SHAHZIL, 1.SAJJAD, 22.RASHID, 9.RAFAY, 10.MOHSIN, 2.MANZOOR, 23.MALLHI, 12.LALA, 19.KIPLNG, 25.KINZA, 8.INTEZAR, 18.IJAZ, 16.GOLDLEAF, 24.FOURTH, 14.FLOWERS, 13.FAISAL, 7.DRAFTINGSTUDIO, 20.DONIA, 28.BRICK, 21.BKR, 27.BILAL, 5.BATHROOMS, 15.ALI RAZA

‘The formation of a formal co-curric-ular committee speaks of NCA’s com-mitment to the student body. I hope this festival will motivate our new

comers to join the ‘NCA family’ with high spirits.’ - Sir Salman Afzal

‘This is to inform you all that no student is allowed to enter the

college premises without present-ing their valid college ID cards on both days of the Welcome

Festival. Please leave the prem-ises, not later than 10:30 p.m.

sharp. Welcome to NCA.’ - Sir Imran Qureshi

NCA Meter !How much of an NCAITE are YOU?

Have you ever given Rs. 200 or more to Na-sir?(Y/N)

Has Manzoor ever sworn at you? (Y/N)

Were you ever targeted by a shopper? We do not mean this respectable publication.(Y/N) Have you ever eaten a ‘bun plaster’?(Y/N)

Have you ever handed in submissions right after the deadline passed and pleaded dramatically for acceptance?(Y/N)

Have your friends ever plastered your least flatter-ing photo all over college on your birthday?(Y/N)

Did you shift from an expensive brand of ciga-rettes to a cheaper one?(Y/N)

Kiya ap performer hain, society kertay hain, or ap ka ‘scene’ hai? (Y/N)

Dating a junior/hanging out with juniors/know thy juniors?! (Y/N)

Do you belong to any of the following labels: Nasreen/Shahid, Plastic, Jahaz, Shikari, Shape or Dragon?(Y/N)

Do you often stay awake for four nights in a row and consider it a feat? (Y/N)

Have you ever been kicked out of Ma’am Malhi’s class?(Y/N)

Do you often wear landa and brag about the ex-cellent bargain you drove?(Y/N)

Do you shower regularly but still look and smell like a homeless beggar?(Y/N)

How did you fare?13 or more than 13 answers:

YOU ARE AN NCAite!You know who you are and you know what you are capable of! Only a few people have the guts and the stamina that you have justdisplayed. Be Proud!

8 to 12 answers:COME ON! DON’T BE A ROOKIE!Try a little harder! You are nearly there but just lack a few necessary ingredients. So tick ‘getting kicked out of the class’ or ‘beinglate for submissions’ off the checklist and be a cer-tified NCAite!

5 to 8 answers:HANGING IN LIMBOYou can do better than that! What’s with the me-diocre attitude? Ragging kam hui thi kiya? Get out there and prove your mettle.Otherwise you might just end up as a disappoint-ment to this noble institution.

Less than 5 answers:GASP?! PUNJAB UNIVERSITY!You, lost friend, are in the wrong place. Like a good chicken you should just cross the road and end up in PU. That is the placewhere you rightfully belong (Period).

Interview with the Chief Organizers

The two days Welcome Festival has the organizers swamped with the kind of work that can put the White House team to shame. Headed by the loud raucous duo Sanwal Tariq and Saad Ahmed, the organizers are a close knitted, weather beaten team that has braved many new and intimidating ideas like getting sponsored make-up for the perform-ers. A golden moment in the history of the festival, we are sure but perhaps not as golden as the promised make up: the descrip-tions provided by the respective societies have included detailed instructions like ‘cute natu-ral make up’; rephrased with artistic license: ‘cute’ ‘natural’ make up. In this flurry of ac-tivity, the Occasional Shop-per was lucky enough to get a hold of Sanwal and Saad and here is what they have to say. Well, to be honest here is what Sanwal had to say, occasion-ally punctured by an odd, random remark by Saad for much needed comic relief when Sanwal gets too passionate.Promising to host a festival that ‘everyone will remember for the next seven months’, the organiz-ers have decided to keep the British Raj theme for the first day and School Uniform for the second. British Raj was decided upon because the organiz-ers believe that it is easily relatable which leaves

a lot of room for imagination. Moreover, the history of the institution itself and the architecture of the building will all gel together to provide a lovely ambience to the day. Equally well considered was the theme for the second day: the world will, in all likelihood, undergo a dramatic apocalypse within the year so we may as well wear our school uniforms one last

time. We believe that ‘dramatic apocalypse could possibly allude to the imminent thesis that the organizers are yet to bravely conquer.Moreover, the organizers promise excellent mu-sic not only from our performing societies but because of the anticipated performance by Pappu Saain. Sanwal believes that this will help break the mold of the repetitive trance music for the festival in the past few years. Besides, he adds solemnly that for children dressed in school uniform, the music should be equally ‘appropriate’.The organizers are also quick to inform us that this festival has had many firsts. Professional make up services for performers has already been humbly

highlighted by yours truly. In addition, posters and invitations for teachers

were especially designed and print-ed. Societies were also given the

chance to give brief performanc-es as teaser promos for the first years. Therefore much hype has been created. In conclusion, the two organiz-ers publicly decide to broadcast

their affection for each other (in case anyone missed it live). Sanw-

al says that since he also organized his class trip with Saad, he believes that

their duo really complements each other. Saad, similarly, says that working with Sanwal is like ‘jesay aap party ker rahay hain’. Yes dear read-ers, some things are so touching that there aren’t enough tissue papers in the world.Moreover, the organizers would like to thank the following people particularly: the faculty which in-cludes Sir Imran Qureshi, Sir Fakhr Maam Attiya, Sir Salman and ‘Sir’ Awais Azhar; the Decoration team which includes Hira, Rashid, Amen, Sundas and Ammara (Maaro upon Sanwal’s insistence); the Protocol team which includes Sania Azhar but deliberately leaves out Ahmad Khan the Food Committee headed by Sahar Naeem and lastly but not leastly Hashim Ali for coordinating societies and generally having his nose in everyone’s busi-ness.

The Shopper Team

Zoona JerralM.Ahmad KhanAli Sarmad Khan

Talha MufteeMadyha LeghariZoya Gul Hasan

Sanwal Tariq

Zain NaqviHaider Ali

Uswa AmjadAreeba Maqsood

Sania AzharHassan HaiderAbubakr Asif

Special thanks to:Sami Baloch

*The rest of the festival committee

Sanwal and Saad(Chief Organizers)

N.T. Mime

Western Music Society

The Puppeteers

The End Films

Alif Adab

Eastern Music Society

The Skits Society

Nautankye

Make-up by: