A Publication of the Waters Landing Elementary School PTA Volume 5, Issue 1

Dear Waters Landing Families,

The first quarter has come to an end and parent/teacher conferences are quickly approaching on November 11th and

12th. Please contact your child’s teacher to schedule a conference if you have not had the opportunity to do so yet.

Our book fair in October was a huge success. Thanks go out to PTA volunteers for the hours you volunteered to

ensure everyone had an enjoyable shopping experience! Thank you to all of the shoppers who supported this impor-

tant fund raiser!

We were delighted to see so many families come in for our October Open House. Please make certain that this isn’t

the only time you come to visit. We are working together to ensure that your child gets the best education to chal-

lenge him or her to learn new skills. In case you want to email us, our staff email addresses are listed on our website.

The Montgomery County Department of Health and Human Services (DHHS) will conduct free nasal spray flu vac-

cine clinics (FluMist) in November for children 18 and under. On Friday, November 1st, flu clinics will be held at

John F. Kennedy, Richard Montgomery, and Seneca Valley high schools. No classes will be held on that day be-

cause it is a professional day for teachers. These clinics will be open to any school-aged child. All MCPS elementary

schools will host a flu clinic on either Monday, November 11th, or Tuesday, November 12th, following early dis-

missal of students on those days. More information will be sent home with your child in October. Waters Landing is

hosting the flu clinic on Tuesday, Nov. 12th in the afternoon 1:30PM to 3:30PM. Call the office for reservations.

All clinics are free, but registration is required due to limited vaccine supplies. For more information, visit the

Montgomery County Department of Health and Human Services website at http://www.montgomerycountymd.gov/

hhs or call 311.

November is always associated with cooler weather, beautiful multi-colored leaves and being thankful for family and

friends. We have so much to be thankful for at Waters Landing Elementary School. We have fabulous volunteers

who unselfishly give their time and talents to our school. We have amazing staff members who go above and beyond

every day to ensure that all of our students are safe, learning, growing, and happy to be at school. We also have the

best students, parents, and families in Montgomery County! We appreciate this special partnership with you and

couldn’t do it without the support that you provide every day.

Thank you for everything you do for our children and Waters Landing ES!

Sincerely,

Mrs. Tina Shrewsbury, Principal

Mrs. Stacey Brown, Assistant Principal

Waters Landing ES

October 30, 2013

The Dolphin News Tina Shrewsbury, Principal

13100 Waters Landing Drive Germantown, MD 20874 Phone (301) 353-0915

2013-2014 PTA Contact Information

Stacey M. Brown

Assistant Principal

Treasurer

Jill Bennis

jillbennis@gmail.com

Secretary

Alyesha Omar

esha454@yahoo.com

President

Allyson Parr

Allyson.parr@verizon.net

Vice President

Brooke Levey

markandbrooke1@verizon.net

Visit our website

www.waterslandingpta.com Like us on Facebook

Waters Landing (WLES) PTA

Follow us on twitter

Twitter at @WatersLanding

Box Tops for Education Congratulations to the winners of the Box Tops summer contest!

Kira Dancik: 473 Box Tops Abraham Chajon: 337 Box Tops

Lauren Badger: 249 Box Tops

Julian Haddaway: 217 Box Tops

Gavin Shea: 164 Box Tops

Thanks to everyone who participated. Please continue to collect Box Tops for the

monthly drawing. The winners will be announced on the 15th of every month.

From the PTA President ...

Hello, Waters Landing Families –

I hope you are all enjoying the changing of the seasons, and the beautiful colors of fall.

I know many of you were able to take advantage of the opportunity to observe your children in class during the open

house. It was remarkable to see our talented teachers manage their classrooms and engage their students.

Go teachers!

Thank you to everyone who came out to help with our school beautification day! It is amazing what a difference a

little clean-up can make. We will be able to enjoy these efforts again when the bulbs bloom in the spring. Thank you

to Loana Nelson de Ochoa and her committee for organizing this activity.

The Scholastic Book Fair was a great success. Thank you to Heather Kiger and Samantha Heitzmann for coordinat-

ing this huge event, and thank you to the many volunteers who helped out during the week. We were pleased to have

so many of our students and their families take advantage of this opportunity to get some great books.

We would love for more parents and guardians to become PTA members. Don’t be surprised if your kids want you

to join as well. We are sponsoring a contest between the classrooms – the classroom with the most parent/guardian

and teacher PTA members by Nov. 5th will win a pizza party! Nov. 5th is also the deadline to join if you want a di-

rectory. Our professionally printed directories will only be given to current PTA members. Don’t miss out!

Finally, please join us at our next PTA meeting on Nov. 5th at 7PM in the media center. Child care will be provided.

Allyson Parr

WLES PTA President

Scholastic Book Fair Update!

Another successful book fair has come to a close here at Waters Landing. We would first like to thank all of

our absolutely amazing volunteers. You all are the reason this fall’s fair ran so smoothly. THANK YOU for giving

your time so selflessly. We truly could not have done this without you!! And thanks to our Waters Landing staff for

sharing space and time with us, as well as providing any help we needed.

We are proud to announce that the fall fair raised over $3,500 for our school. This money will go towards

buying much needed classroom supplies and almost doubles Mrs. Zygmunt’s buying power for the year. WOW!

Thank you to all the parents who supported our fair and bought books for their families.

We would also like to share a few anecdotal stories about our fantastic Waters Landing students. You know

you have great kids, but isn’t always nice to hear that other people notice too? We witnessed kindness, sharing, and

great attitudes this fall at the book fair! One young man brought his $20 that he earned selling lemonade over the

summer to buy books. It was great to talk to this budding entrepreneur. Another student brought a friend in to shop

with him and spent quite a few minutes selflessly trying to figure out how he could buy both himself and his friend a

pencil or eraser. And still other students came in and only purchased something for their friends! Students picked out

books to donate to their classrooms and several dropped their change in the “All for Books” donation box to provide

books for needy children. Even the littlest kindergarteners helped each other make wish lists and were very respect-

ful of the book fair rules. Keep up the great work, Waters Landing Dolphins. We are so proud of you!

We can’t wait to see each and every one of you at our winter book fair! Mark your calendars now for Febru-

ary 3rd through the 7th!

COUNSELOR’S CORNER – MS. LAURENO

Hear Ye! Hear Ye!

We are proud to announce the winners of this month’s PEACEMAKER AND BYSTANDERS TO THE RESCUE

AWARDS.

All students in their classes voted confidentially for a peer who most promoted friendly, harmonious, caring rela-

tionships. They also voted separately for students who helped a friend in need, whether this occurred in class,

lunch, or at recess. These students were recognized during our Town Hall Meeting on October 4. Congratulations to

them all!

PEACEMAKERS: Learning for Independence “LFI” (K-2) Desirae Gregg, Genero Guzman

PEACEMAKERS: Kindergarten: Chanucey Jones, Victoria Saavedra, Pharell Aziaka, Rachel Gordon, Isaac Davis, Mariah Kelley,

Sydney Parsons, Noah Chu, Jerlindsey Espinoza, Isaac Matute, Beren Lawrence, Lainey Young, Christopher Alexander,

Minnah Anifowoshe

1st Grade: Andrew McDonald, Claire Higgins, Tristan Enaholo, Kate Del Mar, Paola Lopez Alicea, Derek Ejedoghaobi,

McKinzie Grey, Jacob Lunny, Chanelle Brunson, Arnav Pundlik, Rane Gibson, Joseph Dean, Alex Lozouski,

Katherine Vasquez

2nd Grade: Sara Caceres, Gavin Shea, Stephanie DeLeon, Joonas Veimer, Osan Olueh, Madeline Beltran, Ashlyn Maclean,

Daniel Ranaivoarison, Keysson Galvez-Delgado, Laila Graves, Jackson Kaminski, Charity Velasquez, Korey Trone,

Sadai Davis

3rd Grade: Anjan Sesetty, Abby Dexter, Samuel Laume, Zoe Higgins, Katelyn Beltran, Daniel Salgado, Danny Tejada,

Emily Frechette, Owen Dean, Karla Saavedra-Romero.

Learning for Independence “LFI” – (4-5) RiAnna Carr

4th Grade: Okan Ulug-Berter, Charlotte Jordan, Elia Lopez, Daniel Zarayasi, Colin Ackerman, Emme Grace McCeney,

Holden Denyer, Diana Kiger

5th Grade: Ana Naciemento, Joshua Bonhomme, Dennis Sanabria, Maryschka Aziaka, Ian Ackerman, Caroline Culqui,

Anju Meda

BYSTANDERS TO THE RESCUE:

LFI – (K-2) Helene Wallace, Joel Deegbe

Kindergarten: Kevin Hernandez, Caitlyn Dexter, Iris Cuneo, Makai Stewart, Isaac Davis, Mariah Kelley, Jayden Jennings,

Aanya Grobe, Tariah Williamson, Dashawn Reyes, Christopher Alexander, Minnah Anifowoshe

1st Grade: Brianna Martinez, Jackson Thomas, Deivy Casso, Isabella Aguilar, Brittany Smith, Marston Johnson-Wuor, Isa-

bella Kiger, Mason Mizzer, Leandro Correia Santana, Hailey Dancik, Esther Odu, Joshua Osorio, Sadie Membreno, Eli Lemus

2nd Grade: Nicole Hernandez, Andrew Tucker, Daniella Gbogbo, Jed Valenzeula, Jacob Gelic, Camille Hines, Sam Humpert,

Adelai Burgess, Angel Osorio Diaz, Mia Solis, Jackson Kaminski, Charity Velasquez, Leia Graves, Jose Saucedo, Olivia Lar

3rd Grade: Spencer Gordon, Isa Lopez Alicea, Ivan Cancel, Zoe Higgins, Chloe Goldberg, Caleb Umphrey, Matthew Stennet,

Faith Velasquez, Saraansh Wadkar

4th Grade: Michael Akowuah, Cassy Karyshyn, Cristian Mendez, Alexandra-Joy Kouemou, Gilbert Velasquez, Mikayla

Durbin, Sofia Moreira, Dhurv Ram

LFI (4-5) Joseph Morgan

5th Grade: Edwin Ranaivoarison, Sarah Wentling, Brendan Morris, Katelyn Schrock, Alexis Laume, Aydan Hernandez

Mrs. LaDuca’s Students Define What Respect Means to Them Personally:

Sadman Ishraq-“You have to treat all people with respect. Don’t be a bully! Be nice to people! Have the power to defend yourself.

Cassy Karyshyn-“ Respect means to do something when told. Take care of other people’s property! Help others! Listen! Be kind!

Follow directions!”

Kaylie Collazo – “Respect means to help one another when injured or in need of help.”

Amanda DeSilva – “To me respect means to care for someone and show them good behavior. Respect also is a good feeling when

someone gives it to you.”

Mariam Cherif – “This is what respect means: R= Reasonable E= Elaborate S= Super Listener P= Persistence E= Effort

C= Contribute T= Try. Respect is when you listen and follow the rules. That’s what makes it so cool.”

Jaden Wilkerson –“ Respect is when you to try to protect the world and help others even if they are not your friend.”

Ashley Avila – “Respect means to be kind to one another. Also to be responsible, make an effort, participate in class, make educa-

tion important, collaborate and always try your best.”

Luis Saucedo, Jr. - “Respect means to be kind and ask kids to come play with you. No bullying! Don’t call anyone names like fat or

ugly.”

Rhaidon Cann- “Respect means helping each other so be good and help. If someone gets hurt, tell them I’ll be right back with

help.”

Nilesh Niraula –“I think respect is when you care for someone and you are being nice. I also think it means when you are doing

something right, even though other people are not. Say, Can I help you, to someone is a wheelchair. Help ESOL kids learn English.”

Matthew Bjork - “I think respect is being nice to someone even though they’re not as nice. I think it also means having respect even

when others don’t respect you.”

Holden Denyer- “To me respect means that you are treating others with kindness. If everyone treats people with respect, it can

spread, even though we are all different.

ATTENTION AMAZON SHOPPPERS! You Spend $$ - We Make $$!!

Every time you plan to do some shopping at Amazon, first go to our web site -- www.waterslandingpta.com and click on the

Amazon ad under the Rewards Program tab, proceeds from the sales will go towards WLES PTA.

The WLES PTA is proud to once again sponsor the annual Arts in

Education Reflections Contest!

If your child loves art of any kind – photography, painting, drawing,

collage making (or any visual art), writing, dance, film making, music – please

encourage them to develop a piece of original art to submit!

This year’s theme is Believe, Dream, Inspire and all art-

work should reflect this theme. Ask your children what they

believe in, what inspires them or who they would like to

inspire, or to illustrate their dreams in whatever art medium speaks to

them. Once they submit their original artwork, the children have an opportu-

nity to be recognized for their work at our school and winning submissions

from our school could be recognized on a state or even national level!

Please note that this is not just a performance competition for all our

singers, dancers, and musicians. The children must compose an original piece

for their entry. We ask also that parents facilitate the art and encourage the

artists, but not actually assist so that the work is absolutely a product of an

amazing kid.

Mark your calendars for the night of November 4th and plan

to attend our Art Night, where students will have the opportu-

nity to work on their art projects in the All Purpose Room

here at the school. They can bring their own supplies or use

those provided. It will be a wonderful opportunity for the

students to make something amazing to enter into the

Reflections contest! Then on December 2nd at 6:30pm, all

students who submit artwork – and their families – are in-

vited to attend a reception in their honor at WLES. Keep an

eye out for more information about both of these fun eve-

nings in your children’s Friday Folders!

Please see attached entry form. If you have any questions,

please contact Heather Kiger at kigerkrewe@me.com.

Submissions are due on November 15th.

Art Night is for all students who

wish to enter the Reflections Con-

test sponsored by the PTA. The

purpose of Art Night is to give our

students an opportunity to create

their art in a fun, safe environment.

These art pieces must reflect the

theme, “believe, dream, inspire,” to

be eligible for entry. Some art sup-

plies will be provided or students

are welcome to bring their own!

We ask that parents please remind

their children that this is a time

dedicated to making art, not just

free play. We will be having fun

with a purpose!

Come and Get Your PIE!!!

What could be better than a slice of apple pie? Having that sweet treat while supporting WLES PTA! This is the

perfect month to order some pie from Market Day. Not only is Thanksgiving around the corner, but so is Pie

Appreciation Day on Nov 25th for Waters Landing Staff! The pies are frozen, so they’ll keep just fine. This month

we get BONUS profit on every single pie that is sold--Pumpkin Pie, Cinnamon Apple Silk Pie, Peanut Butter Cup

Pie, and lots more!

You can shop online at www.MarketDay.com There is plenty of other frozen food to choose from, and WLES PTA

gets a portion of the profit on every item you purchase. So far, our school has raised $269 this year through Market

Day. Our goal is to raise $1500. This Bonus Fundraising Month can really help us get there. Market Day money

helps fund PTA programs such as the Science Fair, Dolphinmania, assemblies and more! In addition to pies, Market

Day offers a variety of quality frozen food at competitive prices. Online orders are due by midnight Nov.13th. Just

pick up your order at the school between 7:15PM and 8:00PM on Nov. 19th.

Questions? Contact Amy Maclean at WLESPTA@comcast.net

National PTA Reflections® Program Student Entry Form

2013—14 Theme: Believe, Dream, Inspire

This form can be used by students entering a Local PTA Reflections program or for student winners to gather necessary information for completing the official Online Student Entry Process to advance to the next round in the National PTA Reflections Competition.

RREEQQUUIIRREEDD IINNFFOORRMMAATTIIOONN

Student First Name: __________________________________ Student Last Name____________________________________

Parent/Guardian Name: __________________________________________________________________________________

Parent/Guardian Address: __________________________________________________________________________________

City_________________________________________________ State_____________ Zip: _____________________________

Parent/Guardian Email: ____________________________________ Parent/Guardian Phone: ( )______________________

I grant to PTA an irrevocable, unlimited license to display, copy, sublicense, publish, and create and sell derivative works from, my work submitted

for the Reflections Program. PTA is not responsible for lost or damaged works. Entries may not be returned. I understand that I must participate in

the Reflections Program through a PTA/PTSA in good standing. I affirm that this is my own original work. I understand that the submission of my

entry into the Reflections Program constitutes acceptance of the above conditions.

→________________________________________→_____________________________________________________________

Full signature of student Signature of parent/legal guardian (necessary if child is under 18 years)

(See back for arts category questions)

Male Female Grade:_______ Age:_______

Grade Division (Check one):

Primary (Preschool – Grade 2)

Intermediate (Grades 3-5)

Middle School (Grades 6-8)

High School (Grades 9-12)

Special Artist (All grades)

Arts Category (Check one):

Dance Choreography

Film Production

Literature

Music Composition

Photography

Visual Arts

LOCAL PTA INFO Check one: PTA PTSA 8-digit PTA ID: __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __

Local chair name: _______________________________________ Official PTA/PTSA name:___________________________________

PTA address:_________________________________________City_____________________________State______ZIP_____________

E-mail ______________________________________________________ Phone( )___________________________________

Local PTA good standing status: Membership dues paid date __/__/__ Insurance paid date __/__/__ Bylaws approval date __/__/__

COUNTY________________________________

ARTS CATEGORY SPECIFIC QUESTIONS – Answer questions for the arts category relevant to your artwork submission.

Title of Work ( Required ) ___________________________________________________________________________________

Required Artist Statement:

Explain how your work relates to the theme:

(At least 10 words Max 100 words)

Dance Choreography

1. What is the title of the dance music? ______________________________________________________________________

2. Who is the performing artist or musical group?_______________________________________________________________

3. Who is the composer?___________________________ Who wrote the lyrics? _____________________________________

Film Production

1. What is the brand and model of camera that you used? ________________________________________________________

2. If you used editing software, what kind did you use? __________________________________________________________

3. If you used background music, what is the title? _____________________________________________________________

4. Who is the performing artist or musical group?_______________________________________________________________

5. Who is the composer?____________________________ Who wrote the lyrics?_____________________________________

6. List the names of the people who appeared in this film. _________________________________________________________

Music Composition

1. Are there singers/instrumentalists? If so, how many and what are their names? _____________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2. Are there instruments? If so, what instruments? _______________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________________

3. If you used music composition software, what kind did you use? ________________________________________________

Photography

1. What brand and model of camera did you use? ______________________________________________________________

2. What kind of process was used to prepare your photograph? __________________________________________________

3. Location of shot _____________________________ Date of shot ______________________________________________

4. Dimensions of picture? L__________ x W__________ Dimensions with matting (no frames)? L__________x W___________

Visual Art

1. Describe the medium or type of visual art you developed (e.g., crayons, collage, oil on canvas).

2. Dimensions of picture? L ___________ x W _________ Dimensions with matting (no frames)? L__________x W___________

COUNSELOR’S CORNER – MS. LAURENO

Greetings! Expressive Therapy Center (ETC) provides indi-

vidual, family, couples, and group therapy for chil-

dren, adolescents, and adults. Check out our web-

site at www.expressivetherapycenter.com or call

us at 301-869-1017 or 703-349-5225 for more in-

formation or To discuss your particular needs or

the needs of another.

We offer convenient locations in Chevy Chase,

Rockville, and McLean.

Support Group for 1st and 2nd Grade Boys

When: Sunday at 3:00pm

Where: Rockville Office

Group Focuses: Social Skills, Coping Skills, Ex-

pressing Feelings

Facilitator: Daniel Wagner, Psy.D.

Support Group for 3rd and 4th Grade Boys

When: Monday at 5:30pm

Where: Rockville Office

Group Focuses: Anxiety, Friendship, Social

Skills

Facilitator: Diana Sabados, ATR-BC, LCPC

Waters Landing Dolphins!

Ride Your Wave!

By Sofia Moreira (fourth grade)

If you have a dream, no matter how big it may

seem, that dream becomes a goal when you work

hard and feel it in your soul.

Be nice, kind and caring, help clean up!

Make sure you’re always sharing!

If you don’t have a plan, your goal remains a

dream.

Dream big, start small!

We stand tall, respect us all!

Say your ideas loud; we can be successful in every

way.

You are a dolphin, ride your wave!

Safety tips for students when walking to and from school

Try to walk in pairs or groups AND obey traffic signs and use crosswalks.

Do not listen to headsets or talk on the phone when walking to/from school, especially when crossing intersections.

Always let someone know when you are leaving for school and when you arrive at home.

Try and wear some light colored clothes or something that stands out or reflects in the dark.

If a stranger approaches you with a question, DO NOT GET CLOSE ENOUGH TO THEM FOR THEM TO GRAB YOU

and walk or run away. Let an adult know right away what has just happened. Scream for help to get people’s attention if

you do not see anyone close by.

Try and remember what the person looks like, what they are wearing, color or make of car, any identifiable markings or

stickers on the car, tag number, location of incident and time frame.

Parents must call the police right away so the police can investigate the situation.

Parents can notify the school and having a police report number and officer’s name is most helpful for follow up.

A Fifth Grader’s Words of Wisdom:

Vicky Cao was selected to attend the Human Rights Camp

sponsored by Montgomery County Schools. She brought honor

and Dolphin Pride to WLES with her participation.

She will tell you in her own words about her experience:

“Hello students, parents and staff of Waters Landing Elemen-

tary School. My name is Vicky and I am in fifth grade. On

Oct. 18th through Oct. 20th I went to the Human Rights Camp. I

learned many things and I will share them with you. I learned

about teamwork. That is when you work in a team you listen to

everyone’s ideas. If you don’t, you’re leaving them out and

that is a terrible thing to do. So listen to your teammates be-

cause you are five times stronger with them! Also, I learned

about diversity. It’s when everyone is different and you should

respect the differences. Yes, to you they might be very differ-

ent, but to them you are as different as they are to you.

Also, I learned that bullying is not good. If you bully someone,

you are breaking them. You know the saying “Sticks and

stones may break my bones, but words can’t hurt me.” Well, it

maybe work for you, but there was a friend who said, “ Well I

learned that sometimes words do hurt.” So she says “Words

stick to me”, which means you work hard. So, if you don’t be-

lieve you can, you are believing the bully.

So, if you want to get there every day, you can’t say I have no

homework. Because every day you should practice to get to

your dream. So that is all I learned and have to say. Have a

good day and believe in yourself!

Parent Encouragement Program (PEP)

Power Tools for Power Struggles For parents of children age 4-14

Tuesday, Nov 5 | 7:30-9:30 pm

Renaissance Art Center, Gaithersburg It's a familiar scene: You need your child to do something ~ or

stop doing it ~ and he or she refuses. Parents insist, children dig

in, and the battle is on. Discover the real causes of the struggles

and how to end them for good by using tools of problem

solving and relationship building. - $30 person | $27 member

http://www.pepparent.org/

COUNSELOR’S CORNER – MS. LAURENO

Advice for parents and guardians

www.stopbullyingnow.com What if your child is being mistreated by another student? …Here are some suggestions for positive actions to

protect your child and teen from mistreatment.

- Spending family time together. Decades of research shows that there are many ways to build inner strength. First,

young people who spend time with their parent/s or guardian/s talking, enjoying shared time, and doing activities

they are interested in together are more resilient. They are more likely to weather the storms and stresses of child-

hood and adolescence than youth who do not spend time in these activities with their families. Even having dinner

with your teens on a regular basis and talking during the meal has been shown to make a positive difference in their

lives. Two excellent books have practical suggestions about maintaining family connectedness as youth become

teens: Get Out of My Life, But First Would You Drive Me and Cheryl to the Mall? by Anthony Wolfe, and The

Second Family, by Ron Taffel.

- Encouraging positive relationships with adults outside the immediate family. Youth who have positive and

stable connections with teachers, coaches, youth group leaders, extended family members, and other adults are likely

to be more resilient.

- Encouraging active participation in hobbies and interests. The concentration, learning, and joy that comes from

active involvement in playing music, playing sports, doing art, and other activities of young peoples' choosing can

counteract the negative effects of peer behavior.

- Encouraging service to others and helping youth see that they have made a positive difference by helping

others. When young people know that their actions have helped others, they acquire authentic self-esteem which

buffers them against others' mean or excluding behavior.

Teaching young people to understand that some people they meet in life may say or do mean things to

others. We found in our research that youth in seventh grade and above often found it helpful to remind themselves

that mean behavior is a choice made by perpetrator. These youth said that they reminded themselves that they did

not cause others' mean behavior, and that it was not a reflection of anything wrong with them. Instead, they saw the

mean behavior as evidence that the other person was acting in an immature way. It can also help young people to

understand that sometimes people who do mean things are just having a hard day. We should still do everything we

can to stop harmful behavior, without labeling someone else a bully.

- Helping your child develop problem-solving skills. Three key problem solving skills that can be practiced in day

-to-day life at home are:

-Self-calming strategies using breathing, exercise, and other techniques;

-Thinking about three or more possible next steps to solve any problem before choosing what to do. In consider-

ing different options, young people can also think about what might happen next if they use each step. When youth

have more than one problem-solving option, they can fall back on a second option if the first doesn't work.

-Asking for help. Most of the mistreated youth in our study did not ask adults for help. Those who asked for and got

help from adults reported that they were less hurt by the mean behavior.

Helping your child build friendships and other peer connections outside school through activities and groups. If

youth have several groups of friends and others with shared interests, they are less vulnerable to mistreatment in

one location. If your child or teen has been mistreated, you can try the following techniques: Decide how impor-

tant what happened is. As you talk with your young person, I suggest thinking about the seriousness of what has

happened. How unhappy and/or frightened is your child? How seriously do you take what happened? You may

want to get advice from a friend who has good judgment and who knows your child in making this decision.

If the behavior toward your child is just annoying or is having little impact, it can help to advise your child to

ignore the actions, to stay away from the person, to spend more time with other peers, or to ask the other child to

stop. Even in this situation, it may be a good idea to check back with your child periodically in a calm, suppor-

tive way to see if things have gotten better or worse. Your child or teen should not be surprised if the actions

listed above do not change the other person's behavior.

If the behavior toward your child is bothering him or her moderately, it can help to brainstorm with your young

person. Find out what he or she has already tried and what has happened when he or she tried those strategies.

You may want to begin a log of events, including words, actions, times, and places, in case the behavior or your

child's reaction escalates. As with the more trivial actions described above, it is important to stay calm as you

discuss these events with your child to avoid increasing his or her anger, fear, or concern. You and your child

may choose to approach the school at this point if the behavior has happened at school. In my experience it is

most often helpful to talk with the teacher calmly, providing a list of what has been done to your child. Ask if

these actions are considered acceptable at school. If not, ask what the school will do to prevent them and to help

your child build positive peer connections. If talking with the teacher does not lead to improvement, you may

need to have the same conversation with the principal. Ask about how your child will be protected against possi-

ble retaliation for reporting the behavior.

If the behavior toward your child, and your child's reaction to it, are clearly having a negative effect on sleep,

eating, learning, and other daily activities, it is important to approach the school if this is a school-based prob-

lem. If the problem behaviors are happening outside of school, you will most likely talk with the people who su-

pervise the setting in which they are happening. Depending on the actual behavior and on relevant state law, you

may also want to make a police report. If you see signs of disruption of daily activities or of rage or depression,

you may want to have a mental health professional assess your child's need for counseling.

Talking with the parent of the child who is being mean to your child is unlikely to help, in most situations. Most

parents do not welcome other parents telling them that their child is behaving badly, and this kind of conversa-

tion may lead to conflict.

Increase steps to build resiliency and inner strength as described above. If your child is mistreating others, you

can try the following strategies: Consider the possible reasons behind your child's actions. If your child mistreats

others, that does not make him or her "a bully." There are many reasons youth do mean things. Here are some of

them:

Youth who mistreat others may be watching and imitating characters in TV shows and movies that glorify mean

behavior. They may be trying to be funny * They may be expressing anger about events in their lives * They

may be lacking in skills like empathy, thinking before they act, or sharing with others. * They may be retaliating

for others' negative actions instead of using more positive strategies to stop those actions * They may be trying

to get the approval of their peers.

A very few youth truly wish to hurt others. If your child or teen repeatedly behaves in negative ways toward oth-

ers, it is important to take this seriously. If young people get status, pleasure, power over others, or other positive

outcomes from mean behavior, they are more likely to continue those mean actions into adult life. Searching for

reasons may be helpful, yet we should not let the reasons for mean behavior become excuses. Young people who

mistreat others need to learn to take responsibility for their actions and choices. They also need to take responsi-

bility for the harm their actions can cause. We should ask our children to describe their negative actions, tell us

why these actions are wrong, and think about what else they should have done in the situation they were in. We

should also look for situations in which our children act in a kind, considerate manner and point these out to

them. When we do this, young people can notice how good they feel when they help or include others and make

other positive choices. Similarly, we can involve youth in positive hobbies and in helping others, so they experi-

ence the satisfaction of hard work and kindness. What if your child mistreats others repeatedly and the strategies

listed above do not help, or if the negative behavior is severe? In that case, evaluation and possible treatment by

a mental health professional who is experienced in dealing with issues of aggression can be very important. Re-

peated mean behavior may be a sign of real distress or of significant problems, which can often be addressed

effectively by a therapist. What if your child is distressed after witnessing mean peer behavior? You can encour-

age him or her to find a way to support the young person who was mistreated or alone or to tell adults at school

what he or she sees. Mistreated or bullied youth told us in our research that what they most wanted was someone

to spend time with them, to encourage them, to help them feel hope, and to help them remember that the mean

behavior was not their fault. Your child can do all of these things and they are likely to help. "Standing up

against bullying" - that is, telling bullying youth to stop, may lead to someone getting hurt. It is sometimes possi-

ble; yet befriending, including, and encouraging youth who are bullied is more likely to help them and more

likely to be safe for your child.

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