the beavertown news · ganising the meal for our christmas function. a bit of a hick up with the...
TRANSCRIPT
1
The
Beavertown
News
January 2016
Monthly newsletter of MARLBOROUGH BRANCH Ulysses Club of NZ Inc
Here’s to a safe and happy summer holiday riding season.
I sincerely hope you get plenty of opportunities to be in your
‘Happy Place”.
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Ulysses Members Trades Directory
Max Lichtnecker 0274 321 449
or 03 578 1331
Box 938
BLENHEIM
You can advertise your business in this publication for $75 per year (12 Adverts - Business Card Size)
Contact: Kevin or Nicky 5728588 for more information
Advertise your Business.
Place your Business card here and
support your Branch at the same time.
See below for details
Saturday Morning Coffee with Ulysses at the Vines Village on
Rapaura Road from 10 am.
Open 7 days a week for breakfast, lunch and great coffee.
10% discount for Ulyssian’s
Phone 572 7170 for group bookings, Birthdays or visiting guests!
The
OLD ORCHARD
Cafe
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Hi all. Happy New Year everyone. By the time you are reading this you will be well into the festive mode I imagine. Nicky & I wish you well and trust you get plenty of down time to go for a ride or two. I would like to extend my thanks to Jo de Reeper for the work she did in or-ganising the meal for our Christmas function. A bit of a hick up with the Spit Roast but it all turned out OK in the end (Boys involved will need to keep the “Cone of Silence” going because if the Sheriff finds out it could be costly). The next big social event on our Branch calendar will be the Kaituna “Back to Basics” Rally. Kelvin has been busy working away on organising a great rally for you all. Please get your registrations in soon as space is limited and I know of many out of town people who are registering to come along. It would be a shame if you missed out. The weekend plans include a BYO BBQ on the Friday evening followed by Rock N Roll music from the resident DJ “Chippie”. A selection of activities on the Saturday, including an invigorating walk around the farm, day trips off to Havelock & a picturesque bike ride into a part of Marlborough many may not have seen. The Saturday evening meal in the woolshed is also provided included in the cost of registration. Remember the date 21st April as this will be the Branch AGM. This year’s committee has been small and it has been suggested to me that some branch activities haven’t happened or have lacked effort from the Committee. Whilst the facts are true I do not accept that the promotion and activities of the Branch are solely the Committee members’ responsibility. There are al-ways good ideas coming forward but the common theme is “I only come up with the ideas the Committee can execute them” and this is not always possi-ble. This is not a Branch issue only I see it at National level as well and with-out more membership participation the Branch and the Club will be very dif-ferent in the future. So, cutting to the bottom line, if you’re passionate about motorcycling, enjoy the company of others with a common interest and would be prepared to put some time into the Ulysses Club come along and join in. Club Subscription renewals are due for many of us this year. They are now overdue for payment and if you intend being a member after 31
st January,
and haven’t paid already you need to do so asap. If you’re unsure when your subs are due, your membership expiry date is on your membership card, or you can drop me an email and I can confirm via my membership list. Whilst I could ramble on for ages it’s time for us to get down to Portage and judge the best picnic set up.
CONTACTS:
BRANCH COORDINATOR
Kevin Bright Ph. 572 8588
Hawkesbury Heights Vineyard
47 Kahu Way, R.D.2, Blenheim 7272
SECRETARY
Jeff Champion Ph. 577 9399 23 Bary Street, Blenheim 7201 [email protected] TREASURER Wayne Brock Ph; 578 7233 COMMITTEE MEMBERS
Evan Teale Ph. 578 7323
Kelvin Watson Ph. 577 6822
John King Ph. 578 6858
Gisela Schulze Ph. 578 1618
RIDES COORDINATOR (Sunday rides) Committee members WELFARE OFFICER; Chris Donaldson Ph; 574 2421 Email; [email protected] RETREADS RIDES (Thursday rides) Murray Brooks Email; [email protected] Ph: 570 5530 BRANCH SHERIFF
Mac Trilford Ph. 573 7448
BRANCH QUARTERMASTER (Ulysses Gear Orders) Jo de Reeper Ph. 579 1173
BRANCH HISTORIAN Jane Laing Ph. 577 6663 COMMUNITY NOTICES ORGANISER
Jo de Reeper Ph. 579 1173
WEBMASTER Bob Marks Ph, 574 1177 Email; [email protected] Branch Web Page: www.ulysses.org.nz/marlborough BRANCH RIDER MENTORS Chris de Wagt Ph. 577 7238 Kevin Bright Ph. 572 8588 Nicky Bright Ph. 572 8588 NEWSLETTER EDITOR Jane Laing Ph.577 6663 Email; [email protected] Post; 75A Weld Street, Blenheim 7201
Please refer all membership enquiries
to the Branch Coordinator or a
Committee member
DISCLAIMER; While contributions and adverts are welcome, no responsibility can be accepted regarding claims or statements made by
members or advertisers in respect of products or services offered. The views expressed in this newsletter are not necessarily those of the Editor
or of the Committee, but are those of the writer/s. The Editor reserves the right to edit, abridge or decline some contributions.
Coordinators Report… January 2016
Jeff Atkinson
Ray Beard
Helen Boudier
Lorraine Brasch
Peter Bugler
Bill East
Allie Moores
Robert Sutton
Ian Wilson
January 2016
Deadline for contributions to the
next newsletter is;
January 20th
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Meeting: 3rd
December 2015 Red Cross hall, Redwood Street – Blenheim Meeting started: 7.00PM Attendees: Kevin Bright, Jeff Champion. Evan Teale. Kelvin Watson John King, Gisela Schulze. Apologies: Wayne Brock. Visitors: Colin Simpson. Minutes of previous meeting. Accepted K.B @ E.T Matters arising. R.I.C responsibility waiver form. Dis-cussed in General business Inwards correspondence. Accepted J.C @ K.W 04/11/2015 News Letters from Auckland, Waikato,
Canterbury, North Auckland and North Harbour.
06/11/2015 Instruction sheet from Jo De Reeper for Evan re rides put in News Papers.
10/11/2015 Invitation to a Xmas BBQ AT Alzheimer’s Marlborough.
Outwards Correspondence. Accepted G.S @ K.B A bereavement card sent to The Rundle family in Nelson.
Treasurer’s report. Natcom has given us an account for accommodation at the co-ordinators meeting. This is not correct and has not been passed for payment. Two accounts for payment, Shop 6 Toy Run badges $617.28 Natcom for gear sales $140.00 General business. Next month( December) there will be no mid month so-cial and meal. Instead everyone is invited to attend our Branch Christmas function on Sunday the13
th.
Our Toy run is all under control. Saturday the 12th De-
cember. The Marlborough Motorcycle Riding School has agreed to sponsor an advertisement in the Sun News Paper. No police escort this year. Riders will ride as indi-viduals and follow a route given to them on the day. Kel-vin Watson will do the ride briefing, he is also the lead rider. Marlborough Ulysses garden has been planted. All that
is needed now is the feature Rock to be fitted. Plaque for this is under way. Council is trying to get out of putting a seat here now. A letter is to be sent to council protesting the seat deci-sion. Our Christmas function is well into the planning stage. John King is looking after the Spit roast side and Jo De Reeper is arranging almost everything else. The Branch AGM is going to be on the 21
st of April 2016.
Rider in Charge responsibility waiver form. It is the Ulysses Clubs intention to implement this. At this time we will await further instructions. The Memorial tree at Twizel is looking very sad. Natcom has asked if anyone knows someone in the area who can look after it for us. We decided not to spend money advertising the toy run. We have already printed 50 posters and feel that is enough. Rides for January. 3
rd. Bring your own Picnic at West Bay St Arnaud. 10am
Start. Home via Nelson 10
th. Ward for lunch. East Coast Inn. 11am Start.
17th.
Decide on the day. 1pm Start. Possibly an ice cream at Rai Valley or Hira if the weather holds. 24
th. Mapua for a Fish and Chip lunch. 10am Start.
Home via Golden Downs. 30
th. Woodstock Rally. Hokitika
31st. Murchison for lunch. 10am Start. Meet the riders
returning from Woodstock.
Kevin Bright declared the meeting closed at 8.15pm.
Next meeting 14th
January 2016 7pm. Red Cross rooms. Redwood Street. Blenheim.
Minutes - Committee Meeting
I will be on holiday from this Sunday 20th December until the evening of the 13th January 2016.
There will be NO Tuesday emails during this period. If you need to contact anyone contact a committee person. They are all listed in your news letter and our web site.
Have a great Christmas, Keep safe, Stay upright and then enjoy a Happy and Prosperous New Year
Jeff Champion 7121 Secretary Ulysses Club of NZ (Inc), Marlborough Branch [email protected] 027 4374368
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Quarter-Mistress Corner
Ulysses Gear; - Jo is taking a break for
the holidays but she would like you to
know…...
...if you would like to purchase any item of Ulysses
Gear, check out the Gear on the Ulysses NZ website,
www.ulysses.org.nz and make a note of what you want.
Then get in touch with me to order.-
That way you don’t have to pay the freight.
Jo de Reeper # 6608
Jo’s contact phone # 579 1173
Jo’s email : [email protected]
It’s official!!
We now offer all ACC’s Ride Forever courses—Bonze, Silver and Gold levels.
Be a better rider
No matter how much or how little
we ride, we all need to review our riding habits on a regular basis, to keep ourselves safe on the roads.
NOTE; To REGISTER for one of our Ride Forever Bronze, Silver or Gold
courses, go to www.2drivesafe.com and hit
the ‘BOOK NOW’ button
(because we are contracted to 2Drive
Safe to deliver Ride Forever courses in Marlborough, you have to do it this
way, you can’t register directly with us)
MARLBOROUGH MOTORCYCLE
RIDING SCHOOL Relaxed, friendly,
professional support to help you smooth out the bumps
and improve your riding confidence.
100% local
Individual Refresher Rides.
Ride to Live subsidies
Discounts for Ulysses Club mem-
bers.
Ride Forever ACC subsidised cours-
es, - Bronze, Silver and Gold levels.
Kart Track Days (subsidised), Slow
riding and basic skills courses.
BMHS course & test for Learner
licence
CBTA training and assessment for
Restricted and Full licence.
Proud Ulyssian supporting Ulysses
Riders.
Ride to Live subsidies
Download a $40 subsidy voucher from
the Ride to Live website;
www.ridetolive.co.nz, - contact us
and book an individual 2 hour
‘Refresher Ride’ at the reduced cost to
you of only $50. (NB. This price also
includes a $10 discount for Ulysses
members). Or book in for one of our
Ride Forever courses—Bronze, Silver
or Gold level.
Contact us
Home; (03) 577 6663 Cell; 021 0828 8713
Email;[email protected]
Check out our Web site;
Jo de Reeper # 6608 has been looking
after our Ulysses gear and local orders
for a number of years now and she
feels it is time for someone else to take
up the job
Your Committee would like to hear
from you if you can help out with
this.
Ideally needs to be someone who
attends coffee morning and other
Branch events regularly.
Jo is more than happy to work with you
to get a handle on what the job entails
If you think you can help out here, or
want to know more, - give Jo a call or
talk to Secretary Jeff or Coordinator
Kevin
AND MANY THANKS TO
JO DE REEPER for all the work you
do on our behalf!!
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Ride to Akaroa & Punakaiki, Anniversary Weekend 2015.
Tom Brown and I rode down to Akaroa, Robert Graham came down with us as far as Woodend. It was a stunning
day for a ride, calm, sunshine and the beautiful coastline
made your heart happy.
It could have been a straight-forward ride. Before we got to
Kekerengu it was agreed that the boys have a stop there
and I drive through to Kaikoura to meet them there. I wait-
ed, waited and waited, I thought wow I must have been go-
ing flat-out (that’s not like me) wow riding faster than Tom.
The boys hadn’t seen me going past them in Kekerengu ,
they thought I must be in some sort of trouble. They
checked back along the road and ditches. After their search
they decided to go to Kaikoura. They found me waiting and
happily alive. Thanks for looking out for me. After that we
rode uneventfully to Akaroa. It was just beautiful, very calm,
wonderful scenery and very peaceful.
Next morning I left a bit earlier than Tom, so he could enjoy
his ride over the winding road. We found a nice coffee shop
in Lincoln and had a delicious morning tea. Lincoln seems
to be a new little town, new houses on small sections. The
University still had rubble lying around from the earth
quake. Tom lead the way to Arthurs Pass, again we had
perfect weather conditions and were able to enjoy the ride
and scenery.
In Arthurs pass Village Tom met a Ulysses member from
Westport……..and had a catch up with him. We had a
great lunch, but we were under tension, - there were few
Kea’s around who were very skilled in pinching food off our
plates. After lunch we drove down the pass, excellent ride.
We decided to ride via Lake Brunner to Punakaiki. The
road after Moana was closed because of an accident.
Sadly, we found out later it was a motorbike accident and a
rider was killed.
In Punakaiki Suzy Pouwhare was waiting for us. Suzy was
talking to another Ulysses member from Greymouth. Sorry
I can’t remember the name. We stayed at the Speights Ale House, had a great dinner and enjoyed each other’s
company.
We all enjoyed the weekend away.
Tom and I are planning another weekend away. On Waitangi weekend we will be going to Hanmer Springs and on
the second night we are staying at the Blackball Hilton. Everybody is welcome to come along and enjoy a weekend
away. More info closer to the time or just talk to Tom or myself.
ANNIVERSARY WEEKEND—AKAROA
ABOVE; Punakaiki, Tom & Gisela meet up with Susy.
BELOW: Tom & Susy, Speights Ale House,
Greymouth
Fun Bike Facts - Jim Barrett
Evel Knievel holds the world record for breaking the most number of bones and surviving. His real name is Robert Craig Knievil. The nickname Evel is said to have been given to him by police when he was jailed alongside William (Awful) Knofel. Knievel used a double in the film Viva Knievil. During his stunt career, Knievil spent a total of three years in hospital. When Knievil came to Britain to jump 13 buses at Wembley in 1975, he refused to drive his Cadillac on the left-hand
7
We Stock:
Dri Rider Apparel,
Oxford accessories,
Nitro, HJC, FFM,
Nolan and other Helmets.
Metzler, Michelin and
Continental Tyres,
Motul and Yamalube Oils,
plus much more …
On presentation of your
Ulysses membership card
you will receive a
10% discount*
on most items
NEWSLETTER CONTRIBUTIONS… Readers really appreciate your contributions—keep ‘em comin’!!
Please NOTE that the CLOSE OFF date for contributions to this newsletter is 20th of the month.
If you’re going to send in something that might take a whole page or more—please let me know early in the month so I can
reserve the space for you. Many Thanks, Jane.
If you’re in to anything to do with motorbikes, scooters or riding—save this date;
Saturday 27 Feb 2016, 10am—12noon, Liz Davidson Place, Blenheim CBD.
Come along to our BIKERS BREKKIE for a free breakfast, share your riding yarns with other entusiasts, learn more about riding safety and get lots of free stuff!
Ulysses members attending the Kaituna Back to Basics Rally that same weekend are encouraged to either call in and grab the free brekkie on their way out to the rally site, OR to come in from the rally site at Havelock for a free brekkie—plenty of time to return to Havelock for the afternoons entertainment at the rally.
An invite from Marlborough Motorcycle Road Safety Group, Ride to Live
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2015 TOY RUN
Thank you Gisela….
93 bikes—plus riders and pillions, several tin-tops, the Salvation army, a fine sunny day, a load of toys, an amenable pub car park for meeting up and a local school car park for the destination. Our Toy Run went without a hitch, another great Charity Ride for the Marlborough Branch of Ulysses NZ Inc.
Well done everybody—great result, there will be some very happy Kids in Marlborough this Christmas! (and weren’t those sausages at the end yummy!!).
Meeting up and leaving from the Woodbourne Tavern car-park out at
Renwick. Gisela and Jeff had everything under control.
9
Above; RESULT!!
10
RETREADS REPORTS 10
th December 2015 - East Coast Inn, Ward.
Having been AWOL for two months I thought I had better front up today to see how the Retreads Group were pro-gressing in my absence. It was a bit of a shock to arrive at Brayshaw Park to be greeted with the sight of around 24 other bikes. All up around 26 bods which is a pretty dammed good response. Murray further confirmed num-bers had been very high for the last several weeks. I can only assume word had got around that as I have not been present lately its fairly safe to join in with the Retreads on their weekly rides knowing full well any misbehaving will not be reported on in the Club’s monthly bulletin. Having come to that conclusion, and not wanting to jeopardise fu-ture attendance numbers, I feel the only honourable thing for me to do is to resign as the Retreads unofficial scribe in order to allow someone less obnoxious and more accepta-ble to the Retreads family to report on their weekly rides. So there you have it Murray, I’m sure you will be inundated with offers to take over from me!
Today’s attendees included Lindsay Learmonth, Noel & Pip Sutherland, Noel Duff, Derek Stripling, Lou Jowers, Grant & Liz Johnson, Karl Marshall, Jimmy Allan, Danny McGow-an, Chris Donaldson, Murray Brooks, Evan Teale, Ray Beard, Terry Maloney, Dutch, Bill Harrison, Allister & Julie McLeod, Peter Nelson, Peter Unger, John Welch, Stuart Paul, Graham Howard – a prospective new member & bringing up the rear yours truly.
After Murray’s pep talk which included a welcome back for Noel & Pip, an introduction & welcome for Graham and a warning to everyone present that I was back on the scene, it was time to hit the road to Ward. It was a fairly warm day so it was with some relief to get underway and have a bit of a breeze to cool us down a tad. The ride out was unevent-ful apart from having to slow down a few times for earth-quake damage road repairs. Upon arrival it was quite a sight to see all the bikes in the carpark – there wasn’t a hellava lot of space left for the travelling public. In fact whilst we were dining a delivery truck turned up and had to thread its way past the bikes and venture onto the grass verge beyond the car park to actually turn.
Pip Sutherland has a brand new Harley which looks pretty dammed smart – all blue & white with heaps of chrome. It certainly is an eye catcher & Pip looks pretty comfortable on it.
wandered onto the veranda Peter beckoned me over to the table he was seated at & suggested I draw up a chair & sit beside him. He even had a smile on his dial which doesn’t happen very often when I am present. So I thought what the hell, he must be mellowing in his dot-age. When I finally sat down next to him after placing my meal order, a distinct change came over him as he ques-tioned himself as to why in heaven’s name did he ask me to sit next to him as he now had to be on his best behav-iour. There was however an ulterior motive for his invita-tion. It seems Peter has been having some erection is-sues which he wanted to discuss with me. Strange I thought, especially when we had our resident Doctor seated a couple of tables away. To move on he started asking me how I got on with my erection technique to which I responded pretty dammed well, especially since I have a diagram specifically laminated so it doesn’t come to any harm in adverse conditions. He was very intrigued to hear about this instructional diagram and asked me if I would email him a copy as he is convinced he must be lacking in specific parts to function properly. I kindly of-fered to do so as soon as I got home, let’s face it no one likes to see someone botch an erection. So Peter I am dying to know how you got on. Was the diagram of much use? Have you got all the Bibs & Bobs necessary to complete the erection technique? Hopefully with the use of the diagram you will have many successful Caravan Awning erections in future which hopefully do not flop prematurely!
It was good to see Grant partaking of a healthy meal for a change. Instead of his usual bowl of soup he opted for something more substantial like an “all day breakfast”. It even got Liz’s approval as I noticed she had the same!
All too soon it was time to head for home, which meant riding into an ever increasing north westerly. A small price to pay for a good day
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BITS and BOBS
WELCOME!!
To the Ulysses family,
new members…
Russell Montgomery
Geoff Pullin
Nicky Pullin
Michael Schnackertz
...and transferred from
Nelson Branch
Joan Robinson #8008
Great to have you all on board,
hope you’ll enjoy your time with
Marlborough Ulysses as much
as we do...
BOUQUETS...
To; Gisela Schulze for organis-
ing our Toy Run for 2015. A great
run, a pile of Toys for Salvation
Army but what I want to know
is—how did you mange to ensure
the great weather? Well done and
Thank you
To; Jo de Reeper for organising
our 2015 Christmas Party. A
great turn out, good food and
plenty of laughs. Thank you Jo,
we know you go to a lot of effort
to ensure everyone has the best
time. We do appreciate it.
Jane Laing #6361
THANK YOU MURRAY.
On behalf of the Retreads Group I
would like to Thank Murray Brooks
and his off-sider Lindsay Learmonth for
their efforts in running the Thursday
Retreads Group.
Murray has been a Ulysses member
for a very long time and he knows
what works when it comes to
organising the rides.
Lindsay is always there to step in when-
ever Murray cant make it, - so we are
never without a ride on a Thursday.
New members join up regularly
because like the rest of us, they
enjoy the Thursday rides and the
social banter that goes with them.
The Retreads group is brilliant.
Thank you for your efforts Murray.
Lou Jowers.#1571
FOR SALE
1 mans Dri Rider jacket. Made in Australia. Size 52/42L.
3M Scotch lite reflective material. Colour: Black and Blue. Has Shoulder and elbow pads. $80.00 Good condition.
Also 1 pair of Dri Rider Pants.
Made in Australia. Size 50/40m. Hip and Knee pads. Black, $50.00 Good condition.
Pam Neal; 0272 934009
What's in a name…. Bob Marks
An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execu-tion. His last minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was feel-ing worn out and depressed. As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife started on him about’ “What time of night to be getting home is this? Where have you been? Dinner is cold and I'm not reheating it.” And on and on and on. Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiar ritual, he poured himself a shot of whiskey and headed off for a long hot soak in the bathtub, pursued by the predictable sarcastic remarks as he dragged himself up the stairs. While he was in the bath, the phone rang. The wife answered and was told that her husband's client, James Wright, had been granted a stay of execution after all. Wright would not be hanged tonight. Finally realizing what a terrible day he must have had, she decided to go upstairs and give him the good news. As she opened the bathroom door, she was greeted by the sight of her husband, bent over naked, drying his legs and feet. “They're not hanging Wright tonight,” she said.
GREETINGS FROM PETER Hi Jeff 16 Dec ‘15 Yes I am still out here somewhere in the gr eat metropolis of Wanganui. Have been following your emails and the monthly news letter with interest. Just thought I would drop you a short note to wish everybody in Marlborough Ulysses a Merry Xmas and a Great 2016. Am back on the road with a NZ new 2007 VL800 C50T Boulevard. Have not been out on it much as am still sorting out the June flood damage/repairs etc. We are back in the house and slowly getting straight. Have renewed my membership for a further three years and have left it as Marlborough Branch. Hope that's okay? Please pass on my best wishes to every-body in the club, take it easy out there. Regards Peter Bedborough, - (ex Blenheim, now Whanganui)
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2015 Branch Christmas Party (13 December)
Our Christmas function on Sunday was a great success.
The meal, location and company were
really good. A big thank you to everyone who came
along and made this an enjoyable event. A really big thank you to those who helped
run the event for all those present. Jo de Reeper the main organiser who ran the event so well ably assisted by
Allan de Reeper. Others who need to be mentioned were Tom Brown, John King, Don Best, They nearly cooked the meal for us. Kevin and
Nicky Bright who helped Jo by cooking half of the meat. Sue and Ian (Mac) Mc Donald who helped all day doing all the extra jobs
that needed to be done.
Also mother (Clause, Claws or was it Claus) Louise Peace and her very helpful elf Jock Woodley. Suzy and Mac Pouwhare for the
use of their Spit Roaster. In the end we didn’t use it, but it was there if needed.
Last but not least Marina Newman. Thanks for helping lay the tables, cleanup and all
the other bits you did.
If I missed any helpers out, thank you for your help. You know who you are. You all
made this a Great Christmas party. Just before 6 pm while at the venue I
received a phone call. Oh Jeff, where is the venue for the Christmas party. It`s at the Car Club at Omaka, I replied. Oh, I know it`s not
at the Cart Club , there no one here said Colin Wynn. If I was giving out a booby
prize who do you think should get it.
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Wasn’t it a good day! There are
loads more photo’s, if you want to
see yours, let me know, am happy to
email pic’s to anyone who asks.
Jane #6361
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RETREADS REPORT
ABOVE: New members Geoff & Nicky Pullin who have arrived in Blenheim from Wanaka. They joined us for our trip to the trout Hotel along with 18 Ulysses members. Photos, Murrays Brooks—10 December 2015. BELOW: Iain MacDonald's immaculate 1978 Yamaha XS 650D came with us on our ride to the Trout Hotel
Understanding Men—Thanks Bob Marks!
Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will
fiddle with a coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in.
Calling AA is not an option. I will win. ____________________________________________________
Because I'm a man , when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, 'I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't
know where to start.' We will then drink a couple of beers and break wind, as a form of holy communion.
______________________________________________ Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone
to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do,
so for you, this is no problem. _______________________________________________
Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like beer, milk or bread. I can-
not be expected to find exotic items like 'cumin' or 'tofu.' For all I know, these are the same thing.
_______________________________________________ Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops
working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair
person gets here and has to put it back together. _______________________________________________
Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been
misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it.....though one time I was able to survive by holding a
calculator..... ______________________________________________
Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The true answer is always either sex,
cars, bikes, sex, sports or sex. I have to make up some-thing else when you ask, so don't ask.
_______________________________________________ Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she
calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay; I don't
need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my mother, too. _______________________________________________
Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't ..and if you are feeling amorous afterwards....then I
will certainly at least remember the name and recommend it to others.
_______________________________________________ Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I
thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine.
Can we just go now? _______________________________________________
Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the new year 2016, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the
dishes, and I'll do the rest...... Like wandering around in the garden with a beer wondering what to do.
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The Bad Tooth - Kelvin Watson
An Irishman walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter filled to the brim with $10 bills. He guesses there's at least thousands of dollars in it. He approaches the bartender and asks, "What's with the money in the jar?" “Well ...you pay $10, and if you pass three tests, you get all the money and the keys to a brand new Lexus." The man certainly isn't going to pass this up, so he asks, "What are the three tests?" "You gotta pay first," says the bartender ,"those are the rules." So, after thinking it over a while, he gives the bartender $10 which he stuffs into the jar. "Okay, "says the bartender, "here's what you need to do: First … Drink a whole quart of tequila in 60 seconds or less, and you can't make a face while doing it." “Second … There's a pit bull chained in the back with a bad tooth. You have to remove that tooth with your bare hands." “Third … There's a 90-year old lady upstairs who's never had sex. You have to take care of that problem." The man is stunned! “I know I paid my $10, but I'm not an idiot! I won't do it! You'd have to be nuts to drink a quart of tequila and then do all those other things!" "Your call," says the bartender, "but, your money stays where it is."
The man has a few more drinks and finally says, "Where's the damn tequila?" He grabs the bottle with both hands and drinks it as fast as he can. Tears stream down both cheeks -but he doesn't make a face -- and he drinks it in 58 seconds! Next, he staggers out the back door where the pit bull is chained to a pole. Soon, the people inside hear loud growling, screaming, and sounds of a terrible fight … then nothing but silence! Just when they think the man surely must be dead, he staggers back into the bar. His clothes are ripped to shreds and he's bleeding from bites and gashes all over his body.
FUN Bike Facts ——Jim Barrett
The Fonz (aka Henry Winkler—TV series, ‘Happy Days’) couldn’t actually ride a motorcycle. In the 1970s cop show CHIPs, Larry Wilcox and Erik Estrada, who played bike patrolmen Jon and Ponch, were so dissatisfied when their Kawasaki Z1000s were swapped for BMWs that they put the BMW fairings on the Kawasakis and continued to use them. Contrary to popular opinion, the motorcycles used in Easy Rider have not both been lost or destroyed. One of them, which was wrecked during filming, has been restored by Dan Hagerty, who played Grizzly Adams in the TV show of the same name. No one knows what became of the Triumph 6T ridden by Marlon Brando in The Wild One. its worth £500,000. Street Hawk only ran for 13 episodes. Although BMW claims it has been making Boxer twins continually since 1923, production stopped for a few months in 1986 when the company decided its future lay in triples and fours. Customer outrage persuaded the Germans to restart the twin-cylinder engine production lines. MZ invented two-stroke expansion chambers. The current owners of Bimota-Lorenzo-Ducati is a direct descendant of the original founder of Ducati. Cagiva is a shortening of the words Castiglioni – the founder – and Varese – the town where the company is based. Triumph also makes golf balls. Magnesium wheels are porous, and allow tyres to deflate if the protective paint is scraped off. The same process occurs with alloy wheels, only much more slowly. Dynos only measure torque and engine speed. Peak power is then calculated using a mathematical equation. Titanium ore is abundant. The reason its known as an expensive material is because its strength and hardness makes working with it difficult and costly. Early bike helmets were lined with cork. Before becoming famous for bike helmets, ARAI made helmets for building sites. The founder of ARAI, Hirotake Arai was a stunt rider. Princess Anne and George Harrison have both owned custom-painted ARAI helmets. Barry Sheen’s King helmet was Bell Star helmet with a King sticker on it.
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NB: Info and Registration form printed on page 17 for your convenience
Fill out, cut and post to Kelvin asap.
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MARLBOROUGH BRANCH Ulysses Club of NZ Inc.
present KAITUNA RIDGES " BACK to BASICS RALLY" HAVELOCK By kind permission of the owners Paul & Muff Newton.
DATE ; Friday to Sunday 26-28 February 2016, rally opens Friday 3pm, closes Sun 2pm All participants
MUST register, see Marlborough Branch Web Site for Registration Form.
DIRECTIONS ; End of Readers Road approx 3 km south of Havelock.
RALLY MARSHALS ; Kelvin Watson, Murray Brooks, Jeff Champion, Lindsay Learmonth.
ACCOMODATION ; Limited floor space in woolshed, first in best posie, need to bring air bed, sleeping bag.
Motor homes, caravans or tin tops are welcome.
TENT SITES ; lovely sites available near Kaituna river or closer to woolshed, your choice.
COSTS ; $30 per person which includes Saturday night dinner . Tea and Coffee available free all weekend.
BYO food for Friday night and breakfasts, BBQ available free to use or can hop over to Havelock.
DRINKS ; BYO, no rubbish to be left on site please.
GENERAL ; Friday night Rock & Roll music in the woolshed with our resident DJ Chippie. Saturday morning take a
tramp up the hill, fantastic views over Havelock and the Sounds, please leave gates as you find them. Enjoy a ride to
The Sounds with Ride Leader Kevin Bright. Dog trials by Paul & Muff. Remember last years fun Motorcycle gymkhana?
“Yes “ it's on again Saturday afternoon, a fun event for road bikes in front paddock, fun prizes too. Saturday night mu-
sic, some by our host Paul but he would like some help from other musicians, we invite members to bring Guitars or
whatever, Kelvin will fill in with his disco music. Irish Music by special request for the “Spoon” players.This is a great
opportunity for older & newer members to enjoy the way it used to be, back to basics at an affordable cost.
Limited numbers so PLEASE REGISTER EARLY. Don’t miss out!
REGISTRATION ; Closing date for registration is SATURDAY 20 FEBRUARY, No late entries
accepted. PLEASE NOTE; Numbers are limited, registrations will close earlier if maximum number
is reached before 20 Feb
REGISTRATION FORM ( must be completed by all participants)
Kaituna Ridges, ‘Back to Basics’ Rally
NAME……………………………………………………Ulysses No;…………………
FAVOURITE SONG FOR THE DJ TO PLAY: …………………………………………………
PILLION…………………………………………………………….
E/MAIL ADDRESS; ………………………………………………… PHONE No;…………………………..
NUMBER ATTENDING? X $ 30each =. Cheque enclosed
Post to Ulysses Marlborough Branch c/o Kelvin Watson. 143B Maxwell Rd, Blenheim. 7201.
Registration closes Saturday 20 February 2016, no late entries accepted.
INDEMNITY : I agree to hold the organisers blameless for any injury or accidental damage while attending
KAITUNA RIDGES " BACK to BASICS RALLY" Info and Rego Form
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Sunday Rides; Unless otherwise stated, all Sunday rides leave from
south end of the Blenheim Railway Station car park.—check the rides
calendar.
Mid Week Rides-Thursday’s-depart Brayshaw Park Carpark, 11am.
Come on your bike or in your car, it doesn’t matter, just as long as you
come along and join in.
If you have an idea for a ride, get in touch with the Rides Coordinator.
Looking on down the road...
MARLBOROUGH
RIDES AND EVENTS
CALENDAR
DATE DAY TIME DETAILS RIC
Every week Thursdays 11am Retreads Ride every Thursday. Meet at Brayshaw Park
carpark. Everyone welcome
Murray Brooks
27 Dec Sunday 11am Forresters Café (Rai Valley) for lunch
2 Jan Saturday Nelson Street Races, make up a group and enjoy a day of
exciting motorcycle racing at Port Nelson
3 Jan Sunday 10.30am Picnic Lunch at West Bay, St Arnaud, BYO food & drink
10 Jan Sunday 11am Ward for lunch, East Coast Inn
17 Jan Sunday 1pm Rai Valley for and ice cream or HIra if the weather holds.
24 Jan Sunday 10am Mapua for Fish & Chip lunch, home via Golden Downs
31 Jan Sunday 10am Murchison for lunch—meet riders returning from Woodstock
Rally
6-8 Feb Waitangi
weekend
SAVE THE DATE; double overnighter to Hanmer Springs and
Blackball—more details later.
Gisela Schulze &
Tom Brown
Further on down the road... 2 Jan 2016,- Port Nelson Street Races. Make up a group and head over the hill for an awesome day!
29 –31 Jan; Woodstock Rally, Hokitika
30 Jan—5 Feb 2016; Bike Week at Bannockburn! Check it out at www.bikeweeknz.com
6-8 Feb; Double overnighter to Hanmer Spring and Blackball, talk to Gisela Schulze OR Tom Brown.
27 Feb 2016; Bikers Breakfast, Liz Davidson Place, 10am—12noon. (NB. even if you’re going to the
Back to Basics Rally, you’re encouraged to call in here on your way out to the rally OR come in from the rally site at Havelock
for a free breakfast!).
26—28 Feb 2016; Marlborough Branch Kaituna Ridges ‘Back to Basics’ Rally—Limited Numbers, don’t miss out—get your rego
forms to Kelvin Watson ASAP!!
18—20 March 2016; National AGM. Solid Energy Centre, Westport. Book some accommodation now!
3 April; Oh No!! Daylight savings ends.
21 April, Our Branch AGM, 7.30pm, Red Cross Rooms on Redwood St. Make up your mind now to take a turn on our Branch
Committee.
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Our Newsletter is proudly sponsored by:...
Sender: The Ulysses Club of NZ Inc. Marlborough Branch
If undelivered please return to: Secretary, 23 Bary Street, Blenheim 7201
National AGM and Social Evening, Westport 18-20 March 2016
We would like a large contingent from Marlborough to support our neighbouring Branch by attending this event. You
will need to book your accommodation early, Tom Brown has reserved accommodation for Marlborough Ulyssians at
McManus Hotel, 39 Palmerston St., Westport
A good range of comfortable accommodation available at reasonable prices including;
ensuite rooms, bunk rooms, a house and a flat.
10 minute walk to the Solid Energy Centre
Remember to Book for the Friday and Saturday nights—Tom is organising a group ride over on the Friday and
a return group ride on the Sunday. (Bike or Tin Top)
For Prices & To Book a room or a Bed, Contact; Tom Brown, - Phone; 579 3106
** Tom will book the accommodation for you. He has all the details, contact him for further info.
...and don’t forget to send in your registration form for the AGM as well!