TableofContents

I-Innerductions

INTHEBEGINNINGWASTHEDUDEWAY...THEWHOLEDURNDUDEISTCOMEDY

Pre-RambleWhattheFuckAreWeBlatheringAbout?TheDudeistFrameofReferenceTheAbideGuide

THEDUDETESTAMENTAllINeedtoKnowILearnedfromWatchingTheBig

LebowskiTheLebowskiLiturgy:LessonsforLivingLikeLebowski

II-WiserFellersThanOurselves—DudeistHistory

GREATDUDESINHISTORYJesusandtheBuddha:APairofDiggableDudesLao-Tzu:It’sYourThing,TaoWhatYouWannaDoHeraclitusandEpicurus:Life’sAllFluxedUp,SoEnjoythe

UpsandDownsEmilyDickinson:It’sYourRoll,DudeMarkTwain:AmericanIdleBobMarley:RastaFarOutGeorgiaO’KeeffeandDianediPrima:StronglyVaginal

ArtistsWavyGravy:SaintMisbehavin’JeffBridges:He’sTheDude,Man…That’sWhatYouCall

HimTHEBOOKOFREVOLUTIONS-DudeistProphecy

MayanIsNotthePreferredNomenclature…Meso-American,PleaseOurRevelationIsNotOverTheBigLebowskiandtheThreeR’sofProphecy

DUDEISTMOVEMENTS-DudeismDownThroughtheAgesTHEAXIALAGE800–200BCESUFISM7THCENTURYCE–PRESENTTROUBADOURS12TH–13THCENTURIESROMANTICISM18TH–20THCENTURIESTHELUDDITESEARLY18THCENTURYTRANSCENDENTALISM19THCENTURYUTOPIANS19THCENTURYHUMANISM20THCENTURYTHEDIGGERS1960sSLOWMOVEMENT1980s–PRESENT

CREATINGAMOREDUDE-OCRATICSOCIETY-ThePoliticsoftheDude

“The’90sArethe’60sStandingonTheirHead”—WavyGravyGiveMeLibertyor…Hell,LostMyTrainofThoughtStudentforaDudeistSocietyQuestfortheDude’sUncompromisedPortHuronDraftADuderWorldIsPossible

CINEMAVERTE-StonerFilmsandTheBigLebowskiWhatMakesaStonerMovie?AStonerMovieFrameofReferenceTheGrandfather(orBigBambuski)ofStonerFilmsTheBigLebowski:StonerFlickorNot?AbidinginaUniverseThatTendstoUnfoldasItShould

SUBJECTSLIKEWOMEN-DudeistFeminism1.WhatdoyouthinkthephilosophyofDudeismcanoffer

modernwomen?2.Doyouthinkthefeministtraditionisatoddswith

Dudeism,orarethey...3.Woulditbeharderforawomantoliveherlifelikethe

Dude?4.NomineesforourGreatDudesinHistoryarealmostall

male.Whydoyou...5.IsTheBigLebowskimorecriticaloftraditionalmale

rolesortraditional...6.WhatisyourfeelingaboutMaude,thefilm’sheroine?Is

sheadmirableornot?WhatabouttheDude?Wouldyoueverpairupwith

someonelikehim?8.WhatchangeswouldyouliketoseeinDudeismtomake

itappealmoretowomen?9.ThespiritualstateofDudenessiscalled“abiding.”What

techniquesdoyou...III-MakingIttoPractice—DudeistLifestyleandTechniques

SELF-HELPCHOPPERIN’IN-TheDudeismHelpingtoAbideMovement(DHAM)

TheSevenSpiritualLawsofTakin’’ErEasyFuggedaboudtheFunnyShtuffLimberalThinkingIronicJeffTheRoadLessRambledThePowerofNotNow

DUDERINOSUNANIMOUS-A12-StepProgramforPersonalDudevolution

1.Admitthatthewholeworldhasgonecrazy.Wemaybepowerlessoverit.But...2.BelievethereisaDudeWaytotheuniverse.3.BedeterminedtofollowtheDudeWay.Andtofollowit

furtherondownthetrail.4.Where’sthemeaning,Lebowski?It’sdownthere

somewhere,takeanotherlook.5.Say,“Fuckit.”That’syouranswerforeverything.6.Takelongbathsandmeditateonyourrug.

7.WhatinGod’sholynamearetheyblatheringabout?That’sjustliketheir...8.BeDudetoeveryoneyoumeet.9.Bethere,man.10.Stopmakingilliteralconnections.11.Adheretoastrictdrugregimentokeepyourmind

limber.12.SpreadtheDudeword.

DUDEITATION-JustDropintoSeeWhatConditionYourConditionIsInTHISAGGRESSIONWILLNOTSTAND-Dude-Jitsu,theDudeistArtofSelf-Defense

BruceLee:ABrotherDudeist?YouTaketheWuWei,andI’llTaketheDudeWayPacifismIsNotSomethingtoHideBehindTheArtofDude-JitsuTheBigWu-bowskiPracticingDude-JitsuTheDude’sNoMind

SOMEKINDOFYOGA-ANatural,ZestyExerciseTheDudeistSomeKindofYogaPoses(Asanas)

THANKIE-ThePowerofDudeiversalEnergy1.BellyHandles2.GoWiththeYinandYangFlow3.MakingIttoPractice4.FurtherUsesofThankie

FUNGIN’SHWAY-TheDudeistScienceofReallyTyingYourRoomTogether

TheJohnTheRugTheBarSofa,SoGoodBedrockandRollTyingThingsUp

DUDEECONOMICS

I

Innerductions

INTHEBEGINNINGWASTHEDUDEWAY...

Iwouldn’tcalltheDudeWayaDeity,’causewhat’sa ?TheDudeWay,well,itfitsrightinthereasthelazysourceof

thishereuniverse.Verily,though, itdidnotrunaroundtryingtocreatethistimeandplaceinasingleweek.Thatwouldhavebeentooexhausting,evenwiththeseventhdayoff.No,acrossthespansoftime,theDudeWayjusttookiteasy,

warshing along the ever-expanding cusp of the cosmos likefreshcreampouringintoabottomlessseaofdarkKahlúa.Andwherever the Dude Way abided, there emerged naturally aninfinite array of suns, and planets, and galaxies, and otheruniverses,andwhat-have-you.Andthatwascool.Thatwascool.Overcountlesseons,theDudeWayunfoldedanintricateweb

oflifethroughoutthevastuniverse.Everythinginthatwebwasinterconnected to everything else in the web and everythinggroovedtogetherincosmicbalancethroughtheDudeWay.Andthatwascool.Thatwascool.A small part of that cosmic web of life consisted of some

forms of life I want to tell you about, some life-forms by thenameofhumanbeings.Now,thesehumanbeingsgrewfromapalebluedotsomewhereintheremoteregionsofthecosmos—and this dot was called Earth. For a time, these life-formsabidedinharmonywiththenaturalrhythmsoftheDudeWay.Just walking around, throwing rocks, having the occasional

mushroomflashback.Andthatwascool.Thatwascool.ButthenmanyhumanbeingsforgottheDudeWayandtheir

thinking about the purpose of life became too uptight. Theymade up things called weekdays, and jobs, and infomercialsand ran aroundmuch of their lives wondering where to findsomethingelsetheymadeupcalled .Insteadofhumanswhoweresimplybeing,theyhadbecome

overachievinghumans.Andverily,itwassoreexhausting.Throughout millennia of negative energy, some humans

looked around and saw all the stress talking and said, “Fuckit.”AndtheyabidedintheDudeWay,justtakingiteasyforallusuptightsinnersouthere.

Andthatwascool.Thatwascool.Every so often, these Great Dudes would ramble around

reminding the overachieving humans about takin’ ’er easy inthe Dude Way. Many humans wondered what in God’s holyname theseGreat Dudeswere blathering about. Some of theexhaustedhumans,though,werelisteningtotheGreatDudes’story.Andtheydidyearntoturnawayfromaworldgonecrazyandsimplyabide.And lo, onMarch 6, 1998, they became like little children

who wandered into the middle of a movie when the CoenBrothers’ appearedinamultiplexnearyou.And the glory of the DudeWay (embodied by the Dude)wasprojected onto the collective consciousness around the paleblue dot. And, with the exception of some reactionary moviecritics,manyhumanswereverily amusedandwanted to turnawayfromoverachievingandreturntosimplybeing.And the movie said unto them, “The Dude abides…Take

comfortinthat.”And this becamea signuntohumans everywhere: “Ye shall

abide,too,eveninthemiddleofaweekday,dressedlikethat.”And suddenly there was with the movie a great multidude

abiding in the Dude Way, many of them bowling, drinkingCaucasians, listening to whale songs, wearing bathrobes tosupermarkets, going out to look for a cash machine, havingoccasional acid flashbacks, and proclaiming to the pale bluedot:“Isthisa…whatdayisthis?”Andthatwascool.Fabulousstuff,man.

THEWHOLEDURNDUDEISTCOMEDY

Pre-Ramble

We, the Dudeists, in order to form a more perfect groovin’,establish just taking iteasy,andpromote inner tranquility,doordainandestablishthisguideonabiding.For in this world there are two paths you can go by, as a

GreatDudeinhistoryoncecrooned.There’stheuptightwayandthere’stheDudeWay.Rushingdowntheuptightway,chasingafterbullshitmoney

that never existed anyway, you race past important things inlifelikeenjoyingsomeburgers,somebeers,andafewlaughs,only tocrash too soon into theendof your life,whereyou’releftwondering,“Aw,man,what’sthatsmell?”It’sabummer,man.Fortunately, there’s an exit you can take from the uptight

way. It’s a routewewant to tell youabout…something calledabidingintheDudeWay,anancient,almost-forgottenroadthatsidesteps the seamy valleys, ransom hand-offs, and abutmentlodgingsoflife.That’s what this here book aims to do. But before we get

started, we’d like to answer a question that some of ourreadersareprobablyaskingrightaboutnow.

WhattheFuckAreWeBlatheringAbout?

That’safairenoughquestion.Although there are over 120,000 ordained Dudeist priests

aroundtheworldcurrentlytakingiteasyforallyousinnersoutthere, that still leaves 5,999,880,000 people (give or take afew) who have absolutely no clue what the Church of theLatter-DudeisorwhatDudeismisallabout.1As founders of the world’s slowest-growing religion, we’re

cool with that. All that proselytizing and converting,condemningandpersecuting,crusadingandjihadingthatsomeofourcompeersintheworld’sBigBeliefskisgothroughtofeed

thebull-dogma…well,italljustseemsexhausting.It’scertainlynotthekindofmissionarypositionweprefer.Still,with somany folks living such stressed-out lives these

days,we’vedecidedtoputasideourstrictregimenofloungingaroundonourholyhammocksandsacredsofastoenlightenupanuptightworldthat’sapparentlygonecrazy.Why?Becausewebelievethattimeslikethesecallforliving

morelikeLebowski…andwe’retalkingabouttheDudehere.

TheDudeistFrameofReference

ForDudeists, ismorethanjustamovie.It’sawayof life, thephilosophical rug that really ties theuniversetogether.That’saheftyclaimtomakeaboutafilm,especiallyonethat

flopped when the Coen Brothers released it back in 1998. Itmayevensounddownrightsillyorevensacrilegious forus tomake such a claim about something that is, after all, merelyentertainment.However, we’re not trying to scam anyone here. If we

understanditcorrectly,“mere”entertainmenthasalwaysbeenan essential part of religious life, especially in Westerncivilization. Ancient Greek comedies and tragedies, forexample, were integral to Athens’ sacred civic ceremonies.Medievalmorality plays promoted Christian values to a wideaudience more effectively than priests blathering Latin fromthepulpit.Theseformsofmereentertainmentservedthevitalfunction of unifying folks into communities and helped tocreate,promote,andreinforcetheveryethosofourculture.Weagreewithmanywiserfellersthanourselveswhosaythat

movies serve a similar purpose today. Filmmakers reach intothe same deep, mythic pools that their theatrical forebearsplumbed to create narratives they hope will resonateprofoundly with viewers. George Lucas did for ,Francis Ford Coppola did for , and AdamSandlerdidfor…well,notallfilmsarelife-changing.

Still, even in films dismissed as escapist diversions, whatdrawsviewerstothematsomelevelisanenduringmythic(andoftenunconscious)hopethatthroughthelightprojectedonthemovie screen they’ll see themselvesupclose,as thebandU2once put it. The stories we create, after all, whether toldaroundacampfire,writteninabook,performedonastage,orprojectedontoascreen,usuallyendupcreatingusaswell.That’swhywebelieve ismorethanjusta

“cult film.” Cults, after all, are on the fringe. Yet with itsmillions of fans (according to Facebook),might better be described as “religious.” Anyway, that’s theway the worldwide Dudeist movement sees it. What is areligion,afterall,butacultthatcaughton?It’s not just about popularity, of course, otherwise,

would have its own religion too. In religious texts andfigureheadsandcharacterswediscoverourdeeperselves.Andthough the movie’s main character is a slacker who callshimself theDude,hiseyesareabluemillionmiles.2 Inotherwords,hefitsrightinthereinourcollectiveunconsciousness,comforting all of us uptight, downsized, single-minded,multitasking, overworked, underpaid, plugged-in, pissed-off,shit-on,run-down,zoned-outsinnersbyembodyingwhatlifeistrulyallabout.We’retalkingaboutYes, it’s really that simple. Unfortunately, though, it’s a

message the square community doesn’t give a shit about.Keepingusuptight, afterall,helps themkeep thebaksheesh.ThoughtheDudewasdismissedasabumbyoverachieverslikethe millionaire Mr. Lebowski, and as a deadbeat by realreactionariesliketheSherriffofMalibu,werecognizehimasabona fide hee-ro. That is, themodern epitome of a long, lazytraditionofDudes(bothfictionalandhistorical)reveredacrossthe sands of time for reminding us, in different ways and indifferentplacesaroundtheworld,tojustchillthefuckout.The problem is, most of these revered Dudes who once

personifiedandvivified theDudeWay in their timeandplacearetodaynolongeropenlyassociatedwiththeDudeword.Pan,

the lazy Greek god, for instance, may have been pretty wellregardedbackinhisday,buthenolongerdrawsmuchwaterinourpious,preachycommunities.3Andlanguidphilosophieslikeearly Christianity and Buddhism have become oddlyachievement-orientedsincetheiruncompromisedfirstdrafts.Itseems thatwhereGreatDudeswere once an integral part ofthewhole durn human comedy, they’ve gradually been sweptundertherug,sotospeak.That’swhywefoundedtheChurchoftheLatter-DayDude:to

bring thisDudeshitback to light,man.Asweexplainonourwebsite:

4

Thishere ismeanttohelpyoudojustthat.

TheAbideGuide

Startingthingsoff,thefirstchapterprovidesanoverall frameofreferencesowe’renotlikeachildwanderingintothemiddleofamovie.“TheDudeTestament”takesinthe“bigpicture.”Indoingso,itferretsoutthelifelessonscontainedinourSacredSource ( ) and explains how you can applythemtoyourlife.The rest of the book is organized around two broad areas

thatexplorethiscentraltheme:•“WiserFellersthanOurselves—DudeistHistory,”inwhichwe place our ethoswithin time’s larger frame ofreference, spanning from prehistoric nomads gettingstoned around pot-fueled bonfires to Dudeist feminism.LearningourDudeistheritageisimportantbecausethosewho forget the past are doomed to… um…aw, hell, lostmytrainofthoughtthere.• “Making It to Practice—Dudeist Lifestyle andTechniques,” where we explore the eternal adage, “IDude,therefore,Iam.”Andweprovidevariouspracticalwaystohelpyouabideinahecticworld,suchasDudeistspiritual and self-help techniques, our 12-step programforpersonalDudevolution,andtheancientmartialartofDude-jitsu.

And, welp, that about does ’er. Wraps ’er all up. Parts,anyway.In addition tomaking you laugh tobeat theband,wehope

thisguidewillbesomethinglikeaGPSthathelpsyoudiscernthe Dude Way in your own life, only without that annoyingprerecorded voice always telling you where to turn. Becausewe’re not a bunch of fascists here, man. We can’t tell youspecifically where to find the Dude Way. With that in mind,maybe this book is more like a “GFS,” a literary device thatremindsyouto“GowiththeFlow,Slowly.”Because once we’re on that path, dudes, we’ve already

reachedourDudestination.Andwecantakecomfortinthat.Bethere,man.

THEDUDETESTAMENT

AllINeedtoKnowILearnedfromWatchingTheBigLebowski

The big picture! It’s hard to see sometimes. Whether we’re

lookingatitfromalittlebungalowonVeniceBeachorahugemansioninPasadena,ourthinkingaboutlifecanbecomeveryuptight.Therearesomanystrandstokeepinourheads,man.Itcanbestupefyin’.Whatweneedissomethingtohelptieitalltogether. Luckily there are ways, dude. I can get you a TOE(theory of everything) by three o’clock. Ormaybe you’re justlooking for a well-woven tapestry of ideas, a foundation thatwillmakeyoufeelathome in theworld. If that’swhatyou’reafter, then listen to this a-here analysis we’reabout to unfold. It’ll really help youmake sense of thewholedurn human comedy. Parts, anyway. We’re talking about

here.Therehavealreadybeen lotsof those so-called “theoriesof

everything,”whichpurporttosumupwhatlife’sallabout.Formostofhumanhistory,TOEshavebeenconveyedthroughtalltales and scribbles on walls, and later through books andorganized religion and law. But today people are busy, as Iknowyouare.Sothemostpopularwaytostepbackandtakein the “big picture” is through the compressed frame ofreferencethatcinemaprovides.Now,many learnedmenhavedisputedthis,butwebelievethat isthefilmforourtimeandplace,highintherunningforbestmovieever,and so itmakes apurtygood substitute for all those severedTOEsscatteredaboutoutthere.5Okaythen,whatmakes themostimportant

—nay, most movie of our day and age? It’s animportant question. Likemost great books or philosophies orreligions,themostpowerfulmovingpictureshelpusperceiveamuchbroaderportionoftheworldthanwenormallywitnessinthecourseofourday-to-daylives.And,what’smore,theydosowithout straying too far from the center of humanity. In theparlanceof , they really tieour ruminationstogether.Forabrief twohours,greatmoviesprovideuswith certain

information.Newshitcomestolightandwearemadeprivytoit.Howmuchwedigthestorythatunfoldsbeforeusisusuallydeterminedbyhowbroadlyanddeeplythatlightpenetratesus.

Inotherwords, trulygreatmoviesshine lightuponthewholedurnhumancomedy.Notjusttheparts.IntheCoens’case,alothastodowiththeiruseofthewide-

angle lens. Filmmakers who employ wide angles draw theviewer more intimately into the frame of reference. And theCoenBrothers are theuncontestedphilosopher kings ofwideangles.6I’mnotjusttalkingaboutinteractivehardwarehere—notonlydotheyemploythewidestanglelensesintheirfilmsofanyauteursinHollywood,theyalsoexamineabroaderviewofthehumanconditionthanjustaboutanyoneintheleague.Andthoughitmightnotseemsoatfirst, islikelytheirwidest.Andwildest.It’sapurtygoodstorytoo—makesusfeelallwarminside.Moreover,thoughitmaynotbeevidentuponfirstviewing(or

second,oreventhetenth), mightwellbethe“widest”filminhistory.Itstands(orslouches)alongsideothergreat works of literature that tried to tie all of humanitytogether: Dante’s . Melville’s . Homer’s

.TheBible.Compeers,youknow?Surely one of the reasons people find such inspiration and

solace in is that, like those other farseeingworks of literature, it sits on a bluff overlooking valleys andoceans, peering over the past and future horizons ofcivilization.Withhumorandhumanity,itteachesmankindhowto“fitright inthere.”Consequently, likeothergreatpiecesofliterature thatarestillarguedoveranddiscussedandquotedlong after they were composed, seemsdestined for the same sort of immortality. No other film hasengenderedsomuchscholarlyspeculationinsuchashorttime,andnootherfilmhasengenderedsuchardentfanswithsuchapropensitytoemployitsparlanceincommonconversation.Andthough some dismiss it as a ludicrous stoner comedy with aridiculous plot (see “ ,”page 143), no other filmprovidessuchawelcome frameof reference forour timeandplace.Wetakecomfortinthat.Whatfollowsisourattempttoferretouttheessentiallessons

ofthefilmandhowtoincorporatethemintothe“bigpicture”

of your own life.We’ll mosey along the trail of the filmwithyou, pointing out important lookouts along the way from thebackofourhighhorse.Youmaynotagreewitheverythingwehave to say, but remember, this is all just, like, our opinion,man.Take from thiswhatyoudigand forgetaboutanyTOEswemight accidentally step on or cut off.We’re not trying toscamanyonehere.Noharmintended.Morethananythingelse,we’resympathizinghere,dude.

TheLebowskiLiturgy:LessonsforLivingLikeLebowski

1.YoucandiewithasmileonyourfacewithoutfeelinglikethegoodLordgyppedyou.

As ifpayinghomagetotheearliesthumanart form,thestorystarts off with a simple campfire chat, just as cavemen didaround the burning branches eons ago. An elderly cowboynarratorstartsusoffbyunfoldingatalltaleaboutatumblingtumbleweed—namely,anunemployedformerhippieintheearly1990s,aroundthetimeof“ourconflictwithSad’mandtheEye-rackies.”Thenarratorseemswildlyoutofplacetocommentonsomethinghappeninginsuchacontemporarysetting,butkeepinmindthat isshotinsuchawideanglethatitcouldbesaidtotranscendthelawsofspaceandtime.Whatisitthatissospecialabouttheshlumpymaincharacter

that can inspire such awe and admiration in our narrator?Certainly it’snothiswardrobe(flip-flopsandabathrobe),norhiswealth (he has to pay for a carton of half-and-halfwith apostdatedcheck7),norhisnickname(“Dude—that’sanamenoone would self-apply where I come from”). Nevertheless, theStrangerassuresusthattheDudeis“themanforhistimeandplace.”Infact,thecowboyissodumbstruckbytheDudethatheloseshistrainofthoughthalfwaythroughtheintroduction.We’reprettybaffledourselves.

Andjustwhatisthattimeandplaceexactly?That’stheendofthe20thcentury,inLosAngeles,thecityofangels.It’sthelimitofthegreat3,000-yearwestwardexpansion,andtheendof a particular era marked by unprecedented violence andideologicalextremism.Mostofthoseideologiesturnedoutjustplainwrong,eventhoughmillionsofpeoplediedfacedowninthemuck fighting in theirdefense.Now,withnowhere left togo, his horse hitched to a post alongside the bosom of thePacific Ocean, the cowboy is obliged tomake sense of it all.What’s itallabout?It’saquestionthatpeoplehaveaskedforages, sure, but perhaps is more salient today than ever. Somuch is happening so fast that “it all” has become a swiftlymovingtarget.Luckily,theStranger’sencounterwiththeDudeandhisstoryprovidesananswerhefindsacceptable,onethatcan put a smile on his face before darkness finally warshesover.Hopefullyitwilldosoforusaswell.

2.Allowtherearesomenicefolksoutthere.

Firstofall, thenarrator isa friendlyguy.That’sevidentrightoffthebat.“TheycallLosAngeleestheCityofAngels.Ididn’tfind it tobe thatexactly,but Iwill allow thereare somenicefolksthere.”8Thefactthathe’sessentiallykindlyisoneofthereasonshe’s

theonlyfellerinthefilmwhotrulyseestheDudeforwhatheis: an unlikely savior, despite his outward appearance andstrange moniker. If you’re not going to approach “the wholedurn human comedy” with an open, affable attitude, thenyou’renotgoingtogetthepoint.Friendlinessistheonlyassetyou can share that doesn’t cost you anything—and in factmakesyou richer themoreyougive it away. It’s theultimateanti-gyp,9apyramidschemeinverted.Inadayandagemarkedbygreed,mistrust,andcorruption,

where neighbors don’t even know each other and people aredividedalongpartylines,religiouslines,lifestylelines,andallvariety of other arbitrary squiggles in the sand, it’s easy to

forget just howmuchwe have in common. It seems as if wehavebeendividedandconqueredbytheinterestsofothers,notour own. Yet our differences are farmoreminor thanwe areled to believe. And though the Stranger is so friendly andaccommodating that it borders on the humorouslyanachronistic,itistheDudewhotrulyraiseshumanisticfellow-feeling to the level that Socrates, the Buddha, and Jesusintended. . Three thousand years of civilization reallylostitstrainofthoughtthere.(See“DudeistMovements,”page117.)

3.It’sdowntheresomewhere,letmetakeanotherlook.

ThestorystartsinearnestwiththeDudearrivinghometohismodestVenicebungalowwithhis cartonof half-and-half, onlyto be assaulted by thugs who have broken into his house.“Where’sthemoney,Lebowski?”oneshoutswhileshovingtheDude’s head in his toilet. Even during this distressinginterlude, the Dude is accommodating and clever enough tojoke,“It’sdowntheresomewhere,letmetakeanotherlook.”When came out in 1998, it too went

straight into the toilet. Itbarelymadeback its investment.Luckily, itwas indeeddowntheresomewhere,andpeopledideventuallytakeanotherlook.Inretrospectwenowknowthatitsoriginalfailurewasbecauseitwastoounprecedented,toocomplex,andjusttooplainweirdforaudiencestodigestrightaway.Evendie-hardfanscontendittakesatleastthreeviewingsbeforethewholethingbeginstomake sense, to snap into focus. And yet, life is far morecomplicated and unpredictable than a standard Hollywoodmovie—more like ,actually.Theplotdoesn’tmakesense,foronething.Maybetheproblemwith life isthesame as the problem with : We just don’t give itenough chances to explain itself to us. And we expect it tomakesenseandwrapupallthelooseends.Fatchance!Lifeisan endless string of funny , language problems, and

ringersbeingthrownoutforringers.EventheDudeadmits,laterinthefilm,thathisthinking“has

beenveryuptight”andthatcertainassumptionshadpreventedhim from solving the movie’s central mystery. We who havetaken as a commentary on what life is allaboutmakeitapointtobeonguardagainstourown“uptightthinking.”Wehavetotrytotreattheworldinthesamewayaswetreatthemovie—asacomplicatedcase,butonethatwecanenjoynonetheless,ifwekeepourmindsflexibleenough.Intheenditmaynotbeaproblemtosolve,butastorytoenjoy.

4.Don’tsay“hero,”’causewhat’sahero?

There oncewas a time in cinemawhere the good guysworewhiteand thebadguysworeblack, and theirmoralbehaviorwasjustasOldTestamentastheirhats.Butofcourse,thatgotold fast.Thesedaysourgreymatter is farmore interested inthe grey areas. In response to this didactic haberdashery,movies soon enjoyed the rise of the “antihero”—that is,someonewhomaynotbe100percentmorallyupstanding,butwhomweneverthelesssympathizewith,becauseweourselvesaremorallyclosertoSilverthantotheLoneRanger.Inthemid-20thcentury,perhapsasaresponsetothreemajor

warsandthehorrortheyproduced,alongwiththedarksideofa growing urbanization, the dystopian genre tookhold. was characterized by a strongmale leadwhowas somewhat of an antisocial creep, yet who proved to bemorally head and shoulders above those around him.Nowadays, these so-called antiheroes are everywhere inHollywood.They’veBogarted the joint, in theparlanceof ourtimes.Yet, these characters are antiheroes in affect only. Thoughheroes’clothingmaytendtobeblackincolor,they’restill

purveyingastrictinterpretationofwhite-hatcowboymorality—namely,itisthehero’sjobtogooutintotheworldanddohisbestto“dotherightthing,nomatterwhatthecost.”

Conversely, theDude(whoseclothingtellingly tends towardearthtones)maybetheonlyrealantiherointhehistoryoffilm.Why? Because he is so utterly, unapologetically unheroic.Whereas most heroes are marked by complacency at thebeginning, they are ultimately called into action by a starknecessity.TheDudeistheexactopposite:Thoughwelearnthathewasanactivist for civil liberties inhis youth,hehasdonevirtually nothing in the intervening decades. “My career’sslowed down a little lately,” he notes, without a trace ofwistfulness.Wheneverthe“calltoaction”cameinhislife,theDude let his answering machine take a message.

chronicles perhaps the only thing he has actually“done” since his student days. Only, it’s not even his choice.OthersbasicallyShanghaihimintoaction.Perhapswe’remeanttolaughathimatfirst;butgivenwhat

we are forced to consider later in the film regarding the so-calledheroismofmilitaryandbusiness titans, it appears thattheDude’slaid-back,utterly approachtolifemay,infact,beaperfectlyheroiccrusade.Partoftheproblemisthatactivismissuchhardwork.ButDudeism,ontheotherhand,isacrusade that theaveragepersoncaneasily incorporate intohisorherlife.Andwhilesomemightfindthisaselfishlifestyle,whatsocialscientistsnowknowaboutthenatureofhappinesssuggests the opposite. Merely acting as an example of self-contentment and non-aggression has a powerfully calminginfluence on everyone we come in contact with.10 In otherwords,Dudenessisahighlycontagiousformofcommunicable

.Noticehowmuchaffection theDudegenerates fromallthose around him—he even brings a measure of comfort tohuman“paraquat”andknownpornographers.

5.There’salittleyoushouldask.

Let’snotbeataroundtheBush.The filmstartswithBushtheElder declaring war on Iraq. Now, in spite of all thephilosophical and ideological pronouncements, if there’s one

thing Desert Storm was really all about, it was the “fuckingmoney.”Yetthere’snothingstrangeaboutthis.Moneyisoneofthe principal pillars of civilization. Are you surprised at ourtiers?Gottafeedthemonolith.11In , characters may espouse the value of

work,heroism, freedom,story,productionvalue, feelings,andso on, but what they’re all really after is more money andpower. “Where’s the money, Lebowski?” is the refrainunderlying the entire wild 118-minute ride, even as it’scamouflaged by all varieties of competing philosophies,lifestyles,andethicalproclamations.Well,allexcept for thoseoftheDude,ofcourse.Allheexpresslywantsistogethisrugback (the thugs pissed on it before they left). However, eventhismodest fragment ofmaterialwant endsup affordinghimallsortsofwoe.12TheDude thus provides an example of exalted ordinariness

andhumility,whichwemightall aspire to ifweeverwant toenjoy this a-here story you’re about to unfold. Looked atthrough the long (and wide!) lens of history, everyone isastonishingly ordinary. The words of proto-Dude OscarWildeseem especially apt in a bowling alley decorated extensivelywith“googie”motifs:

.13AsiftosetthestageforthisDudeistideal,theopeningcredit

sequence may be one of the most beautiful ballets ofordinariness ever filmed. A standing army of extras bowl inslow motion, showcasing a wide variety of everyday folkshavingagrandoldtime.It’seasytoforget,withallthebeautyandmakeupandstylishness inherent incinematicproduction,thatweareinfacttheseroly-polyrollers,notdramaticheroesorvillains.AndthankDudefor .Thatsoundsexhausting.

6.You’relikeachildwhowandersintothemiddleofamovie.

It turns out the thugs mistook the Dude for another JeffreyLebowski,amillionaire,whosewifeowedmoneytotheirboss,apornmogulnamedJackieTreehorn.Thenextday, theDudetells the story of the rug to his belligerent Vietnam vet bestfriend,Walter,who suggestshe try toget compensation fromtheguywhoserugwasmeanttobepissedoninthefirstplace.You know, just like in the Bible. Rugcompense. A wee for awee.14Asthey’rearguingaboutthis,theirbowlingteammateDonny

keepsaskingwhatthey’retalkingabout.Walterscoldshimthathe’soutofhiselement.“You’re likeachildwhowanders intothemiddleofamovie!”hesays,refusingtofillhimin.Thereisno reasonwhyWalter should be so impatient, other than thefactthathe’sdesperatetofiximmediatelywhatheconsiderstobe a matter of critical importance. In other words, he is anactionherointheclassicsenseoftheword.Notimetoargue.Chopchop!Onlyproblemis, it’snotamatterofcritical importance.It’s

onlypeestainsonarug.We are all like children who wander into the middle of a

movie—every moment of our lives. Our lives are stories ofunending complexity. Far too often, the best thing to do is tojustsay,“Fuckit,let’sgobowling”insteadofdrawingalineinthe sand and laying down the law.HadWalter and theDudejustacknowledgedthisfromthestart,noneofthetroublesthatfollowwouldhavehappened.Ifthere’sonethingwelearnedin

…whentheworldkicksyou,don’tkickback.Inmost cases, it’s abetter idea to and try to enjoythecycle.

7.Taketheroadlessrambled.

The Dude takes Walter’s advice and visits the millionaireLebowski.Beforethemeeting,themillionaire’stoadyassistantBrandt takes the Dude on a tour of Mr. Lebowski’s “variouscommendations”hangingon thewallofhisoffice,allof them

expressly mentioning the word “achievement” in one way oranother. This is obviously in stark contrast to our non-heroJeffreyLebowski’slifeofnon-achievement.However,insteadoffeelingblueaboutit,it’sclearthattheDudecouldn’tcareless.Despite this rare opportunity to see what vast riches andhonorshemighthaveaccruedhadheappliedhimselfincollegeinstead of smoking “Thai stick” and “occupying variousadministrationbuildings,”theDudeseemsprettycontentwithhis choices. Robert Frost’s poem “The Road Not Taken”suggeststhatlifeisfullofforksintheroadandthatwehavetobe happy with the choices we’ve made. It is an attitude ofnearly Nietzschean integrity, one that few of us are

enoughtoactuallypulloff.15

8.Nihilismisexhausting.

Of course, theBig Lebowski angrily refuses to reimburse theDudeforthesoiledrug,callinghima“bum.”16Butratherthanwaste his energy fighting about it, the Dude says, “Fuck it,”and leaves.Despite the tongue–lashing, he’s in a goodmood.He takes a rug from the house anyway and proceeds to flirtwith a sexy young woman in a bikini sunbathing by theswimmingpool.Butthis,infact,turnsouttobeBunny,Lebowski’swife,the

one who started all the trouble in the first place by owingmoneytoJackieTreehorn!NotonlyisshesalaciouslyflirtywiththeDude,but shealsononchalantlypointsoutherboyfriend,passedoutdrunkinthepool.He’sanihilist,sheexplains:“Hedoesn’t care about anything.” “Oh, thatmust be exhausting,”the Dude replies, joking about his unconscious state. Butthere’smore to it than that—though theDudestands instarkcontrasttothebigoverarching ofthe20thcentury,healsostandsapartfromtheirannihilatingopposite,nihilism:thebeliefthatnothingmeansanything.After 20th-century science finally shot out the tires of

religion, and then two world wars slid down the shorts of

science, the notion that life was utterly pointless took holdamongsomeofthemoresensitivemembersofWesternsociety.Nevertheless,thenotionthat“nothingmeansanything”runssocounter to everyday human experience that only Germanphilosophers, mystical gurus, and teenage Goths have everbeenabletoconvincinglypullitoff.Unlikethosewho,liketheubercapitalistLebowski,adhereto

staticphilosophiesetchedinstone,ortheircounterparts—likeUli Kunkel—who embrace a nihilistic postmodernism thatthreatenstoliquidateallstructureandhumanaccomplishment,theDudemerelysays,“Fuckit,”andexcuseshimselffromtheargument.TotheDudeistwayofthinking,lifeisaliquidbeingpassedfromtemporarycontainertotemporarycontainer.It’sadistinctlypragmaticapproachtomakingsenseof thisstrangemovie that we’ve all walked into the middle of. What’s yourdrink,Dude?Naturally,it’smostlyhalf-and-half.

9.Willyoujusttakeiteasy,man?

Sofar,themoviehasserveduptwoexamplesofwhattheDudeisnot:Heisneitheranideologue,noranihilist.Nowwegettoseeyetanotherprimeexampleofthe —hisbestbuddy,Walter Sobchak. They say opposites attract—this universalprincipleisapparentlyatthebaseofthisunlikelyfriendship.Walter’sweaknessisnotvanity(liketheotherLebowski),nor

is it vacancy (like Uli)—rather, it is violence. Back in thebowlingalley,Walterstandsupforeverythingheholdssacredby pointing his handgun at an opponent who disagrees withWalter’sassertionthathistoehasslippedoverthelineduringa turn. It is such an outrageous response to such a minorinfraction that we howl with laughter. Yet overreactions likethisoccureverydayandtheyinvokehowlsofadifferentsort.And often we’re the ones waving around the figurativefirearms.UncontrolledangermakesS.O.B.soutofallofus.As they leave the alley, just ahead of the police, the Dude

begsWalterto“justtakeiteasy,man!”Itisarefrainthatwill

repeat at various times throughout the film—one of themostdefiningphrasesof theDude.Thoughahackneyedoldhippiebonmot,it’smoreapplicabletodaythanever.Afewdecadesof“can-do” ambition and eagerness have obscured the fact thattheentiregoalofoursocietyshouldhavebeentohelpus“takeit easy.” Explicitly reflecting Reagan-era individualism,idealism, and ambition, Walter seems to reject this asimpractical. “Doesn’t anyone give a shit about the rules?” hescreams. Yet to rework a key line from the New Testament:“Therulesweremadeforman,notmanforthefuckingrules.”And to paraphrase Voltaire: “The ideal is the enemy of theDude.”17An overemphasis on justice and retribution has resulted in

whatsomepunditscall“TheAgeofEntitlement.”Thisisoneofthereasonssomanyofusfeelangryallthetime.Yet,followersof the Dude should see those lines drawn in the sand not asprovocations,butratherashelpfulsuggestions.ThenwecouldfulfillthepropheticpromiseofourDudeistancestorsandentera true “Age of Enlightenupment.” (See “The Book ofRevolutions,”page107.)AstheDudeputsit,“It’sjustagame,man.”Hemightaswell

bereferringnottotheleaguebylaws,buttolifeitself.

10.Tieyourroomtogether.

Backathishouse,wefindtheDudenotonlyinhishome,butalso at home in the world. The initial loss of his rug, which“really tied the room together,” is now more clearly put incontext. Again and again in the film theDude retreats to hismodestbungalowtorestandrechargefromthechallengesthatthe outside world has imposed on him. And each time, he isable to find his center quickly by performing unorthodoxmeditative routines. Inonescene,weseehim freshlybathed,performing onhisnewrug,18aWhiteRussiancocktailin hand. “As for compensation,” theDylan theme song to the

moviegoes,19“there’s littlehewouldask.”TheDudedoesn’taskformuch.Havingacavetoretreattowasfundamentaltotheevolution

of human psychology. Regarding as a sacred spaceinstead of just storage for stuff is crucial in helping us dealwiththedipshitswaitingforusjustoutsidethedoor.Theysayyourbodyisyourtemple,butastemplesgo,it’salittlesoftandvulnerable.Amodestbutquietspacewithagood lockonthedooristhelittlecompensationweshouldask.20(See“Fungin’Shway,”page242.)

11.Bethere,man.

Inliteratureandfilms,landlordsareusuallydepictedasgreedyand cruel. But the Dude is such a loveable guy that hislandlord,Marty,comes tohim for supportandkindness,eventhough theDude is behind on the rent. It seemsMarty is anamateur (very amateur) dancer andwants the Dude to comesee his “cycle” and give him “notes.” Whereas many of uswouldsayyesandthenmakeanexcusefornotshowingup,weknowthattheDudeisonthelevelwhenhesayshe’ll“bethere,man.”TheDudemaynotharbormuchofcashvalue,butclearlyheesteemsfriendshipsaboveallelse.Itisoneofthequalities,alongwithhis“welltiedtogether”room,thatbestowonhimasort of tattered royalty in aworld thatwould otherwise denyhim any stature at all. Yet unlike actual royalty or wealth,friendship and floor coverings are credentials we all canacquire.Andat theendof theday,whatmeaningdoes socialstandinghave,exceptintheeyesofourcompeers?Betherefortheworld,man,andtheworldwillbethereforyou.Youknow,theRoyalWe.

12.Whatmakesaman?Apairoftesticles.

Despite having been given the brush-off by the tycoon

Lebowski, a few days later, the Dude is invited back to themansion.ItseemsBunnyhasbeenkidnapped,andtheoldmanwantstohiretheDudetohelprescueher.“Big”Lebowskievenbreaksdownintearsashedescribeshisloveforthebimboandwrestlestheatricallywiththemeaningofmanhood.Sothen,hisconfidence was all a show and actually he’s an old softie?Accommodatingtoafault(andseducedbythefirsteasymoneyofhislife),theDudefindshisgoodnaturehijackedintohelpingout.In this, perhaps the central exchange of the film, Lebowski

positstotheDude,“Whatmakesaman…isitbeingpreparedtodotherightthing,nomatterwhatthecost?”towhichtheDudeflippantlyreplies,“Sure, thatandapairof testicles.” Inotherwords, he doesn’t recognize this arbitrary obsession with“manhood” that people still carry aroundwith them in a dayand age where physical prowess no longer confers anadvantageagainstwildanimalsormaraudingtribes.Perhapsitis this more than any of his other traits—an unencumbered,nontraditional attitude toward manhood—that so ironicallymarkshimasthe“manforhistimeandplace.”Asmaybeappropriateinafilminwhichthemaincharacter’s

monikeris“theDude,”themeaningofmanhoodisapproachedfromavarietyofanglesoverthecourseofthestory.TheDude,of course, came of age in a universally long-haired erawhenmasculine ideals were questioned and feminism took root,thoughthatskepticismdidn’tlastlong.Infact,ifnothingelse,the gung-ho ’80s seemed to raise themachomodus operandiintoavirtual -ifesto.Thissceneasksustore-examinethequerybyaddressinga flaw in its construction:Whatmakesaman?Apairof testicles.Tomaintainanyrelevanceatall, thequestionshouldbe“whatmakesa man?”Andofcourse,the answer is, theDude.He is ,man. And thurrah. (See“SubjectsLikeWomen,”page156.)

13.It’slikeLeninsaid,youlookfortheonewhobenefits.

Nottosplithairshere,butitwasn’tLeninwhosaidthat.ItwasCicero(Latin: ).AndthoughtheDudemisquoteshim,andusesthelinetoarriveatthewrongdeductionaboutwhathappenedtoBunny(thatshekidnappedherselftoscammoneyoutofherfoolishhusband),itactuallyprovestobethesolutiontotheentirecase.TheDude’sfatalflawisthathe,likemostofus,tendstoplacetoomuchtrustinthewealthyandpowerful.Like your average Pomeranian,21 we are pack animals whoreflexivelytrustthose“bigger”thanourselves.Had the Dude initially considered “who benefits” from

Bunny’s disappearance, he should have suspected the BigLebowski—spouses arenormally the first suspects in criminalinvestigations.Only,hepresumedtheoldmanwasontheleveland thathis tearsweregenuine.Why?Because “he’s fuckingloaded.”Though the United States was founded on egalitarian

principles,thepopulationofthiscountryismoretrustingofthewealthyandpowerful thanpeopleare in justaboutanyotherplaceonearth.Nomatterhowoften ithappens,every timeatycoon or politician is discovered to be a fraud, the citizensseemgenuinelysurprised.NoamChomskyhasrantedendlesslyabout what a good job the U.S. power structure has done in“manufacturingconsent”—thatis,inmaintaininganillusionofdemocracysothatpeoplefeelincontrol,evenasthey’rebeingshepherdedslavishlyaround.Perhaps we could all benefit a bit more from this healthy

distrust of the power structure. Again, this was an ideaintroduced by the Dude’s generation, conveniently forgottenandwhitewashedoversoonafterward.Itmaybetimetorevisitthis operative skepticism: that power and virtue arefundamentally at odds with each other. After all, this was amajor contention of the world’s more peaceful religions—Christianity and Buddhism—at least in the original,uncompromisedfirstdrafts.Shouldn’titbepartofDudeismaswell?(See“CreatingaMoreDude-ocraticSociety,”page129.)

14.Thebeautyofthisplanisitssimplicity.

ThestorymovesforwardherewhenWalterunexpectedlyjoinsthe Dude in making the million-dollar hand-off to thekidnappers. As a direct result of Walter’s naked greed andmilitaristicmodeofoperation,itallgoeshorriblywrong.This,despite his assertion that “the beauty of this plan is itssimplicity. When a plan gets too complex, everything can gowrong.Ifthere’sonethingIlearnedin’Nam…”This is a line that would be funny if it weren’t so eerily

prescient. For decades after the Vietnam War, the UnitedStates knew better than to embroil itself in unnecessaryoverseas combat. That, in fact, was the one thing wesupposedly learned in ’Nam—thatmodernwarfare is theverydefinition of complexity. And everything that can go wrongprobably will. When it involves human beings and theirconflictingdesires,thereisnosuchthingasasimpleplan.Ofcourse,thatdoesn’tstopusfromlookingforwaystomake

lifesimpler.Eachofthecharactersin boastshis ownmethodsof fashioning the cosmic In-n-OutBurger sothatit’seasiertoswallow:1)Wecanbuyintoafascistideology,jamming all the loose laces into little cubbyholes in a giantshoe cabinet that reaches up to the sky (Elder Lebowski,SaddamHussein, Bush Sr.); 2) we can give up and just casteverythingasideasmeaningless (thenihilists);3)wecan justfollow someone else’s dictates and piss on the problem(Treehorn’s thugs); 4) we can see every problem as a heroicimperativetoattackandrectifyatallcosts(Walter);5)wecanjust avoid the big questions and spend our lives passing thetimehavingfun(Donny,Bunny);or…6)ifwe’retrulyreadytoembrace life in its psychedelic, ludicrous, and laughabletotality, we can follow the DudeWay. (See “In the BeginningWastheDudeWay,”page10.)

15.Nofunnyshtuff.

BecauseWalter tries topulla fastoneonthekidnappers, thehand-offiscompletelybotched.Youseewhathappens?Doyouseewhathappens?Tryingtoscamsomeoneisalltoooftennotworthit.Honesty,humility,andhonormaybeasunfashionableastheDude’sshoesthesedays,butthey’restillthefoundationof all successful human relations. As a result of this

itseemsthatthekidnappersaregoingtokillBunny.Morallyself-servingWalter,conversely,isunfazed,suggesting

they go bowling and forget about the whole thing. He isconvenientlyconfidentthatBunnyisinonthescamandsoisinnodanger.Notthathewouldcareifshewere,though,havingalready labeled her a “fucking bitch” and a “whore” andsomehow blaming her for the death of his fellow soldiersdecades before she was born. Despite any of these thornyethical issues,Walter isutterlyconsoledby the fact that theystillhavethemilliondollars.Likemanyintheneoconservativemovementhischaracterwillultimatelypresage,hemayspeakthecurrencyofvalues,butwhenitcomesdowntoit,whathetrulyvaluesiscurrency.Hesays:

16.“Whogetstokeepthebaksheesh?”

But of course, in the long view, no one does. “Where’s thefuckingmoney,Lebowski?”pointsnottothecentralmysteryofthe story, but also to thewhole durn human comedy and ourinvestmentsinthestory,feelings,andproductionvaluethereof.

17.WhatwouldtheDudedo?

When thecomplexitiesof lifebeardownupon theDude, let’sbehonest,hefreaksoutalittle,reflexivelylosinghiscultivatedcool.Likeus,heisnosaint,isfarfromsuperhuman,andsoisnot likely to be deified the way other prophets of peacesometimesare.Butunlikemostofus,hisun-Dudenessdoesn’tlast long. That’s because he employs a simple, timeworn but

tested approach to dealing with difficulty. We have to checkthiswithhisaccountant,ofcourse,butitseemsthathehasnoinvestments.Because he has long been accustomed not to expect too

much from the world of pain, the Dude is easily and rapidlyabletoovercomeitsslingsandarrows(andlater,scissorsandcoffee mugs). Shortly after giving an anxious report to thepolice,theDudeisinvitedtothehouseofLebowski’sdaughterMaude for a regarding the kidnapping. And he’spretty cool and collected by then, mixing cocktails, beingfatuous,maybeevenflirtingwithheralittle.Andthen,ontheride home, the whole disaster is already .Commiserating with Maude’s Italian limo driver,22 the Dudesays “I was feeling really shitty earlier in the day; I’d lost alittlemoney.Iwasdowninthedumps…Fuckit!”

18.Can’tbeworryingaboutthatshit.Lifegoeson,man.

Aswe just said, theDude is neither saintly nor superhuman.Butheisasortofsuperhee-ro,withamightyandhighlyusefulsuperpower—totakeiteasywhereothersmighttakeumbrage.It’s a power available to all of us ifwe can just follow in theDude’sjellysteps.23NoradioactiveslothorkoalaneedbiteustoturnusintoDuderman,justanappreciationforthebeautyofsimplicity. What’s more, the only reason he is thrown into apanic again and again fromhere on in is because he strayedfromtheoriginal“simpleplan,”theonethathadservedhimsowellforthelastforty-somethingyears.

19.That’sjustthestresstalking.

Moments after telling Maude’s limo driver that he “can’t beworriedabout thatshit, lifegoeson,” lifedoes, in fact,goonandprovidesnewshittoworryabout.Droppedoffathishouseby Maude’s driver, he’s pushed into another Lebowski limo,

thatofherfather.Asexpected,theDudeisaccusedofstealingthemilliondollars insteadofhanding itoff to thekidnappers,despitehisfeebleprotestationsthathedroppedoffthemoney.TheDudeisfibbinghere,andperhapsthisshouldconcernus,butatthispointheisoftheopinionthatnoonehasbeenhurt.But the stakes are raisedwhen he’s presentedwith a humantoe, purported to have been cut from the foot of Lebowski’swife Bunny—a consequence of his failure to “achieve themodesttaskwhichwas[his]charge.”Every superhero has his weakness.Whereas superman has

kryptonite, the Dude has his conscience. It’s not easy beingnonchalant and easygoing when you care about your fellowhumans and someone’s “life is in your hands.” As the onlycharacter blessed (or saddled) with compassion andconscience,theDudeistheonlyonewithrealcausetoworryaboutBunny’swell-being.Itwouldbesomucheasierto“takeit easy” if he were truly as apathetic as his adversariespresume.Flung intoanother funk, theDudepliesWalter forhelpand

advice at a coffeehouse but is met with nothing but aloofdisparagement.“That’snothertoe,”Walterjeers,brushingoffthegambitastheworkof“fuckingamateurs.”TheDudeloseshis cool at this point, concerned that the kidnapperswill notonlykillBunny,butwillkillhimaswell.ThispromptsWaltertotry something more soothing. “That’s just the stress talking,Dude,” he says. It is a ridiculous and insensitive remark, buttrue to some degree. So what does the Dude do? Heskeedoodles.Thestressneedstostoptalking.

20.Thisaffectsallofus,Dude.

TheDudestormsoutofthecoffeehouseandWaltercallsafterhim, “This affects all of us, Dude!” Walter is, of course,referring to his “basic freedom” to holler in the coffeehouse,but this,ofcourse, isWalter’sown“stress talking”—amorbidandmonomaniacalcreaturethattrulynevershutsthefuckup.

As we mentioned before, it’s been shown repeatedly byscientific experiment that mood (bad or good) is far morecontagious than any germ-based disease. The way we actaround others influences them and spreads out throughoutsociety like ripples in a pond. Though the Dude may notgeneratewealthandinnovation,whichmightcontributetothecomfortsofcivilization,hissupernaturallypositiveoutlookandeasygoingmannerarearguablyjustasinfluentialtosocietyasawhole.WhereasWalter’sexercisingofhis“freedom”toshoutin a coffeehouse will have negative repercussions that willlikelybepassedonbyeveryoneintheroomtotheirfriendsandfamilies, the Dude spares them all his own negative vibe bygetting out of the place and getting his head together.Sometimesthevillainwehavetosavepeoplefromisourselves.Tothebathcave,Duderman!

21.ShomerShabbos!

As we’ve pointed out, the Dude generally values rest aboveactivity. Walter, as an observant convert to Judaism, alsobelievesinthesanctityofrest—theJews,afterall,inventedtheSabbath.Buthowenjoyableandsalutarycanrestbewhenit’sforcedandonlycomesonceaweek?Rest isrestorative; it’sadrug that keeps our bodies and minds limber. Like physicalmedicine, if it’s administered at the wrong time, it can’teffectivelytreatthediseaseof .AsopposedtoShomerShabbos, ispracticed

far more regularly. At least once a day, if not more, a truefolloweroftheDudewillsetasidetimetosay“Fuckit”anddofuckall.Whetherthatentailsmeditatingontherug,orhangingout inthebath listeningtowhalesounds,or justenjoyingtheoccasionalacidflashback,itisimperativethatwefindtimetofill with emptiness. It is at our own peril that we fail torecognizeourneedfornothing.As if puttinghis superDuderpower to the test onceagain,

the Dude doesn’t take long to get the stress to stop talking.

It is intheverynextscenethatwefindhimrelaxing in thebathwithameditation tapeofwhalesounds playing in the background and melting candlesflickeringabouttherimofthetub.Helanguidlyfinishesoffaflamingroachofsoothingdope.Theuniverseseemstorewardhiminhiseffortstocooldown

by sending a message through his answering machine—hisstolencarhasbeenrecovered!“Farout,”theDudecoos,untilacrashingnoisefromtheotherroomindicatesthatawholenewgoonsquadhasbrokeninunwelcomedtohispad.

22.Don’tdragthisnegativeenergyintothetournament.

Again, the Dude comports himself admirably under thecircumstances. After his door is broken open, and hisansweringmachinehasbeensmashedwithacricketbat,24hecoolly leans out of the tub to see who’s there and calls out,“Heyman,thisisa residence.”Then,whenthecadreofthreeleather-cladnihilistsstormintothebathroomwithawildferretona leash,henodsappreciatively,“Nicemarmot.” It isnotuntil thecrazedanimal is thrownintothewatertothrasharound his crotch region that he starts to scream in terror.Some people have low boiling points. The Dude is such achilled fellow that even when confronted with the rudestbehavior, it takes nothing less than the threat of genitalmutilationtobringhimtosimmer.In the next scene,the Dude again comically supplicates his

powerful, stern,andpathologicallyunconcerned friendWalterforhelp.As theysit in thebowlingalleyandtheDudeshareshis worry that the nihilists will cut off his “chonsson” if hedoesn’t give them the million dollars he lost, Walter says,“You’vegottobuckup.Youcan’tdragthisnegativeenergyintothe tournament.” Like most people, Walter can be quite theDudeistwhenitcomestootherpeople’sproblems.TheDude does his best, but even he can’t let the situation

slide.“Fuckthetournament,andfuckyou,Walter!”hewails.It

isthefirsttimeweseetheDudetrulyvulnerable.Darknesshas“warshed over.” In otherwords, he is on the brink of letting“this negative energy”defeat him.All is lost!Remember thattheDude’squestisnotforagrail,afterall,ormoney,orevenhisrattyoldrug.Hismythological“hero’sjourney”istoremainutterlylazyandrelaxedevenwhentheworldmakesitvirtuallyimpossibleforhimtodoso.Itisinthis momentthatthemythical,

mysterious, and ludicrously mustachioed narrator, theStranger, finally appears to provide sage and timely advice.LikesomekindofOkieWanKenobi,theStrangerplaysmentorto our floundering herowhenhe needs itmost, sympathizingand bucking him up the wayWalter can’t. As the “TumblingTumbleweeds” song from the opening credits fades in, thecamera pulls back to reveal Sam Elliott in appropriatelyanachronisticcowboygarb,seatednexttotheDude,orderinga

.What the fuck is this,man?Somesortofacid flashback? In

fact it is, of a kind. The cowboy is a mythical Americanmessenger,likethegodsofOlympus,ortheangelsoftheBible,wanderinginfromanoldMarlboroadorspaghettiwesternorpeyotepostscript, tobringamessage from thegreatbeyond,assuring and fortifying this guardian of the West Dudetraditioninhisdarkesthour.Andwhatishismessage?

23.“Sometimesyoueatthebar[bear].Andsometimes,thebar,wal,heeatsyou.”25

The Dude shrugs it off. “What is that, some kind of Easternthing?” he grumbles. And of course it could be, though thecowboy demurs. We in the West spent the latter part of thedisastrous 20th century looking eastward for inspirationbecauseitseemedasifourOccidentalcanonhadfailedus.AndyettheideathattheWestisaboutachievementwhiletheEastis about contemplation is just a convenient fiction for targetmarketers.ItmaybetruethatWesternreligionandphilosophy

have created more anxiety on the whole than their Easterncounterparts, but the impulse toward moral indolence andmeditative passivism has been at least as highly revered anddeveloped by European scholars as it has by Asian ones. Ifthere’s anything the Eastern “side” of civilization has donebetter,it’stoorganizethoseimpulseseffectivelyintoacommonsystem of technique, and to officially sanction them as an“answer for everything.” Oh, and also, as is the case withIndian yogis, sometimes they even do tattoo it on theirforeheads.

24.Digstyles.

ThoughtheDudehasbiggerburgerstofryatthemomentthanmaking new friends with oddly dressed strangers, he isappropriately cordial to the man, so much so that when theStranger offers him a compliment (“I dig your style, Dude”),theDudecheersupnoticeablyandresponds inkind. Intruth,theDudedigsallsortsofstyles.It isnomeanfeat,especiallywhentherearesomany“styles”evident inatolerantmoderncivilization,somanyofwhichruncontrarytoourown.There’s a principle in many religions (e.g. Judaism, Islam,

Hinduism, Norse Paganism) that one should always dig thestyle of strangers lest they be gods in disguise, dropping inunannounced to test our moral resolve. It’s a silly andsomewhat circuitously self-serving notion, of course, but itprobablyhadaprofoundeffectonhumanrelations.Welcomingstrangersanddigging their style,nomatterhowbizarre theymightseem,isthegreasethatmakesthewheelsofcivilizationturn. Sadly, these “manners” sometimes appear quaint andlaughablyoldfashionedtoday.Radioshockjocks,sensationalistpress, harried life schedules, and the commercial triumph of“fashion” have helped instill a knee-jerk tendency to criticizeand prejudge people without giving them a chance to showtheirDudecolors.Andkneejerksmakejerk-offsofallofus.There may be a semblance of truth to the old religious

superstition though.We should treat strangers with kindnessand accommodation, but not because they are godswhowillpunishusifwedon’t.Weshouldbedudetothembecausetheyare reflections of ourselves—just like the Dude’s face in the“AreYouaLebowskiAchiever?”mirrorisanobliquereflectionofthemillionaire.Butachievementcangofuckitself(andoftendoes). It is only our kindness that will be reflected backoutwardandonward,downthroughthegenerations,acrossthesandsoftime.Themanforourtimeandplaceistheonewhocangiveanyone the timeofday,nomatterhowrougha timethey may be personally having themselves. Everyone weencounterdeservestobetreatedassacredbecausewithafewnegligible exceptions, the entire world is composed ofstrangers.It’sgotthatwholesacredcowboythinggoin’on.

25.Thisisacomplicatedcase.Lottainsandouts.Lottawhat-have-yous.LottastrandsinoldDuder’shead.

CalledbacktoMaude’sloft,theDudefinallyloseshiscoolwithher. Like everyone else in the film other than the Dude, shestubbornly believes that she’s got everything figured outalready.It takes a big man to admit he’s wrong. But it takes a far

biggerman to admit he doesn’t have any fucking clue in thefirstplace.Ofalltheclaimsleveledagainstreligion,surelytheworst is its outright, blatant, and unapologetic arrogance. Toclaimto“know”howtheworldcameintoexistencecouldeasilybe diagnosed as acute megalomania if it weren’t such auniversal malady. It seems that human beings would rathergive a wrong answer to an impossible question than say, “Idon’tknow,sir.”AmIwrong?Okaythen.Though most of the characters he encounters in the film

pretendtohaveeverythingfiguredout,theDudelaborsunderno such delusions of omniscience. What’s wrong with theworld? What’s right with it? What really matters? The Dudemakesnosuchelaborate,outrageousterritorialclaimstosome

sortofphilosophicalhighground.Atseveralpointsthroughoutthefilmhehappilyadmitshisignoranceoutright.WhileWalteris 100 percent certain that Bunny kidnapped herself, andMaudestatesthatBunnyis“mostcertainly”theperpetratorofthescam,andtheBigLebowskipretendstobeassuredthatitis theDudewho is “unrepentantly”at faulthere, theDude istheonlyoneholdingfasttotheideathatthewholethingmightbemorecomplex…itmightnotbesucha…a…youknow?CriticsoftheDudemakealotofhoo-hahabouthowineptthe

Dude is as a private eye, how he can’t manage to put acoherent thoughtor theory togetheruntil theveryendof thefilm.What they overlook is that coherence is the opposite ofcreativity.What’sthepointinbeingcoherentuntilthepartsofan argument actually begin to cohere? Until then, the Dudewithhisjazzy,roundaboutmodeofexpressionandinvestigationis exactly the right type of existential detective for thesecomplex, convoluted times—arguably even more so thanDouglasAdams’existentialdetectiveDirkGently,26whostatedin particularly Dudeish fashion, “Capital letters were alwaysthe best way of dealing with things you didn’t have a goodanswer to.” Like Dirk Gently, the Dude doesn’t always haveanswers,buthehaslotsofstrandswaitingtobewoven.That’sbothfar-outandfar-sighted.

26.Do,do,do,lookoutyourbackdoor.

AftervisitingMaudeforthesecondtime,andhavingher“notfucking listen” to a word he says and insist that he see herdoctor,theDudedriveshomeinagoodmood.He’slisteningtoCreedenceClearwaterRevival,smokingajoint,anddrinkingabeer. Though he’s breaking several laws simultaneously, weenjoywatchinghimenjoyhimself—itcomessopreternaturallyto him, after all. Watching the Dude enjoy himself is likewatchingSupermanshootlaserbeamsoutofhiseyes.ThereissomedebateoverwhytheDudeissohappyatthis

point—afterall,it’slikelythatminutesearlierthedoctorstuck

his finger up theDude’s anus to extract a sperm sample (wefigurethisoutlater).However,toconflatehisgoodcheerwitha clinical ejaculation delivered by amiddle-agedmale doctorsurely strains at the limits of the Dude’s accommodatingaspect.WhyistheDudehappy?Abetterquestionwouldbe:Whyare

we surprised at unconditional cheer? And why don’t weexperience itmoreoftenourselves?There is somucheven inthemostmiserablelifetoappreciate.Afterall,thesongplayingin his car is “Lookin’OutMyBackDoor” and it concerns animaginary parade of bizarre visions passing in front ofsongwriterJohnFogertyasheletshismindwander.Itisoneofthe few classic rock songs that celebrate not just having sexand its variants,but the salutaryeffects that imaginationandmeditationcanhaveontheharriedsoul.The“backdoor”inthesongsurelyleadstotheunconscious.Thenagain,whoknows,itmightjustrefertohisanus.(See“Dudeitation,”page199.)

27.Afewburgers,somebeers,somelaughs.Ourtroublesareover,Dude.

Shortly thereafter, partially because of the pot and beer, theDudecrasheshiscar.Ashestrugglestogetoutofthedamagedvehicle, he is surprised to find a crumpled-up piece ofhomework wedged in the seat. It is a clue to who stole hisvehicle,andpresumablymadeoffwiththemilliondollars!Inatraditional film, thiswouldbea turningpoint.But in

,it’sjustanotherhilariouswrongturn.With greater investigative resources at his disposal,Walter

donsabusinesssuitandtakesupthecase—thatis,figuringoutwhose homework it is, andwhere he lives. Pleased that theyareonthevergeofgettingthemoneyback,Waltersaystheir“troubles are over” in anticipation of themerriment theywillsoon enjoy after they’re finished suffering through Marty’sdancequintet, his cycle, or asWalter puts it, his “what-have-you.”

Itdoesn’tcometopass,ofcourse.TheCoensdon’tallowtheDudemorethanabriefmomentofsatisfactionorhopebefore

out fromunderhimagain and again.And yetthe “burgers, beers, and laughs” linepoints to the verymeatand potatoes of the movie: There never were any fuckingtroubles,Dude!Theythrewoutaringer foraringer. Inotherwords,allthetroublesinthefilmwereofthecharacters’ownmaking. And any real pleasure to be found in life could havebeen obtained cheaply from burgers, beers, and laughs. Andthis,beforethevauntedmilliondollarseverenteredtheirlives.Let’snotforget,let’s forget…tonotforgetthis.Justbecausewe’re doesn’tmakeussaps.

28.We’vegotalanguageproblemhere.

AfterdrivingDude’srapidlydeconstructingcartohishouseintheValley,WalterandDudeentertheallegedthief’shouseandconfrontthe15-year-oldkidbythrustinghishomeworkathim(inaplasticbaggie,fordramaticeffect),demandingananswer.And then, the incredible happens. In a film where all thecharacters “blather” without end, the kid who contains theanswer to the whole thing (parts anyway) won’t say a peepwhilethey’redoingbusinesshere!For a man accustomed to using language (as well as

handguns) in order to dominate other people, stonewalling isan inexcusable infraction of the rules of engagement—remember that, for Walter, nihilism is worse than nazismbecause even an evil argument is preferable to none at all.LittleLarry’srefusal toplaybyWalter’srulesnaturallydrivesWalter insane. “We’ve got a language problem here!” heshouts, before heading outside to exact punishment bysmashing the brand new Corvette that he thinks Larryprocuredwithaportionof themilliondollars.Echoedhere isthe cruelly delivered threat to by his prisonwarden: “Whatwehavehere isa failure tocommunicate.” Inotherwords:Theproblemisthatyourefusetoletmedominate

you.Andinfact,LittleLarryisforeshadowingalatersceneinwhichtheDudedoesexactlythesamething.LittleLarrymayinfactbeaLittleLebowskiontheway.Inmanyways,theentiremoviecanbeseenasanexegesison

“the language problem” Walter objects to. Though Walterresents the fact that Larry won’t reply to him, he himselfdoesn’teverallowanyonetodisagreewithhim.What’stheuseofengagingwithsomeonewhohasalreadydrawnhis lines inthe sand? Though he may supposedly be “a fucking dunce,”Little Larry has sized up his predicament and reflexivelydeterminedthathemustemploy indealingwithhisadversaries.ItisamuteechooftheDude’sprincipled“Fuckit”in front of Lebowski. (See “This Agression Will Not Stand,”page206.)Perhapsitisduetothefactthathehasbeensoexpertlyout-

Duded,thathereweseetheDudeforthefirsttimeutterlyoutofhiselement.Certainlythis ishismostun-Dudepoint inthefilm;he sinks so lowas to curseout theyouth in frontofhisdying father,andevenmaintains that they “know”Larry tookthemoney!Dude,you’rebeingverrryun-Dude.Thankfully,thisbriefDude-parturedoesn’tlastforlong.Asmodern politics andGallup polls prove, very few people

budge from their tightlyguardedpositions,noreven listen totheargumentsofothers.AsStevenCoveyputsitin

,fewpeopleactuallylistentoeach other. To employ “emphatic” listening is to understandthat communication is farmore complex than just a series ofsigns,signals,andsymbols.Ifsomeoneisn’tpreparedtolisten,why waste your energy? As a Dudeist version of that cheesypop song might go: “You say it best/When you saynothing/Stonewall.”Yet tounderstand languageasa fluid,creativeprocess that

mustbeplayedwithandbattedaroundisthefirststeptowardbeingmoreDude.No cunning linguist, but a cuddly one, theDudeplayswithwords andphrases like they’re part of somecrazy game, echoing things he’s overheard from othercharacters in the film, always reinventing ideas to suit new

situations.Othercharactersutilize languageandconversationaggressively. For example, Walter steers every discussiontowardtheVietnamWar,Maudeuseslanguageasamethodofsocialstratification,andJackieTreehornemploysconversationmerelyasatoolofdistractionandmanipulation.ButtheDudeusesittoseeksynthesis.Byborrowingideasandphrasesfromothercharacters,heweavesasortofepicstonerpoetry fromthe threads of other people’s assertions. 27 (See “Self-HelpChopperin’In,”page177.)

29.Jerkoffbyhand.

Fewofusmight remember that theearly1990swere filledwithabravenewhopethattechnologymightsaveusfromoneof the most problematic issues facing mankind: getting laid.Afterall,inthedevelopedworld,wecangethousingandfoodanddiversion,butexperiencingorgasmwhenadministeredbysomeoneelseisstillachallengeformostpeople.Thusitwasn’tlongafterthedawnofcomputerpornthatpeopleenvisagedatimeinthenearfuturewhenoursexualneedswouldbeeasilysatisfied by “virtual sexuality.” Soon we were all going to befuckingvirtualpartnerswithouthavingtobuythemdinnerorrespecttheminthemorning,andnoonewouldcare!Johnson?Whatdoyouneedthatfor,Dude?This brief flirtation with high-technonanism is captured

neatlybytheCoenBrothersintheexchangetheDudehaswithJackie Treehorn after being invited to his “unspoiled pad” todiscuss the matter of Bunny’s disappearance. Porn kingTreehorn laments the fact that video technology hasmade iteasy for “amateurs” to enter aworld of porn. Like any savvycapitalist, hehopes tomaintainhis statusbydevelopingevernewerandmorerobusttechnologiestobetteradministertotheancientandmuch-lovedpastimeofrubbingone’sgenitalswhilepretending someone else is. But the Dude sees through thecharade.“Istilljerkoffmanually,”hesays.Andwhynot?Whyshouldhepayforsomethinghecandohimself?

The technological world we live in has not replaced thebiological one. To some degree it has enhanced it, but to adegree it’s also damaged it. Our daily obsessionwith gizmosand internet spectacle has surelymade a dent in the humancondition,evenasit’sextendedit.YouknowwhatI’mtryingtosay.Areyoureadytobefucked,man?TheDudeisnotechnophobe(hesortofdigsthebeeperand

huge telephone, and enjoys driving around and partaking ofmodernpharmaceuticals), but he is also precociouslywary ofthe dawn of the “technological revolution.” The point, as heseems to understand it, is to be extended by it, not dented.Look for theonewhobenefits: . Inmanycases it isnotwewhoareaidedbytechnology,butratherthecompanieswhoaredesperatelytryingtoseduceuswiththeir“objectslikewomen.”

30.Thebrainisthebiggesterogenouszone.

ThoughtheDuderepliestoJackieTreehorn’sstatementaboutthe brain with a dismissive “on youmaybe,” this is in fact afully Dudeist approach to life. The Dude is no swingingdickwomanizer or puffed-upmachoman. TheDude balls, but thedudemindsaswell.Itisforthisreasonthatherealizesthathedoesn’t hold “the smut business” in high regard. Hisimagination is all he needs to find a more natural, holisticavenuetoself-satisfaction. .Don’t,don’t,don’tlookattoomuchinternetporn.As if in answer to the implication that he doesn’t need

Jackie’s“business”andcanmakeituphimself, thankyou,wegetaglimpseintotheDude’srich,sexy,andsurreal“lifeofthemind.” After Treehorn drugs his White Russian, the movieushers in one of the wildest dream sequences in cinematichistory.

31.Justdropintoseewhatconditionyourconditionis

in.

Thoughthe20thcenturywashallmarkedby“bigideas,”notallof those ideas were bad. One of the most famous was thenotionthattherewasmoretoourconsciousnessthanwhatwewere strictly conscious of. The rise of the psychologicalsciences paid testament to the fact that “this whole fuckingthing”might be bigger andmore complex thanwe originallyimagined. And though Sigmund Freud is now pilloried forfocusing too much on sex, aggression, and the subliminal(vagina),there’sstillalottobesaidforthepower,depth,andbreadthofthesubconsciousmind.Isoursubconsciousamethodfordealingwithconflict?Isita

vestigial leftover from a biological inheritance? Is it away ofworkingoutproblemsonanother level?Itdon’tmattertotheDudeist. As long as it’s “fucking interesting” and “keeps ourmind limber,” we’ll take whatever it serves up. Just like hisapproach in dealing with the conscious world, the Dude’sapproach to dreams and imagination might be to respect itsmoreinterestingelementswithoutgettingtoohunguponwhatit allmightmean. In order to strengthen the bridge betweentheconsciousandsubconscious,afairbitofdaily“checkingin”is in order.Dudeitation, baths, quietude, and “tying the roomtogether”areallways toensure thatwe’rewellawareofourcondition so that we can defend against the conditioning ofothers.

32.Don’ttreatobjectslikewomen,man.

After theDudewakesup in theMalibupolicechief’soffice,he finds that JackieTreehorncalled thecopsbecausehewasbeing “abusive” at his party. Still under the influence of thedrugged cocktail, Dude mumbles, “Jackie Treehorn treatsobjectslikewomen,man.”Aswealludedtoabove,whatsortofa Freudian slip could better sum up the fetishization andsexualizationoftechnologyduringtheensuingdecadeandinto

the2000s?Several times in the film theDudeseems likeanaccidental

prophet.Justashesawwhereouraggressionwasheadingbydating the check September 11, 1991, as he watched Bushdeclarewar on Iraq in the opening scene, so does his limbermindintuitwhat’sinstorefortheworldwhenitcomestosexand commerce. In 1990 (when the film was meant to takeplace28)andevenin1998(whenitwasfilmed),theworldstillhadnoideaofthedegreetowhichpeoplewouldcometo“treatobjects like women,” that is, as objects of desire. Rememberthat until the iMac came out in 1998, most gadgets werestrictly coveted for their utilitarian economics, not for their“sexy” ergonomics. How’s the smut business, Jobsey? Thesedays,it’severywhere.Onlythefourunflinchinglyironiceyesofthe Coen Brothers would see that a fetish for gadgetry is avariety of porn in its own right, not just a channel for itsdissemination.Andthat’scool.That’scool.Butthedangersoftechno-lust are the same as the dangers of porn: namely, adisconnect fromamore innatewayof living,onewhichtendstomakehumansfeelhealthyandhappy.

33.Keepyourmindlimber.

TheDudereturnstohishometofindthatJackieTreehornhaditransacked,lookingforthemissingmilliondollars.Butatlonglast,theDudegetshisdayinthesun—ormoon,rather.Maudeistherewaitingforhimandinviteshimtoengageina“natural,zestyenterprise.”Youmean,coitus?Oh,yes,Mr.Lebowski.It is in thecozy,hazy,post-coitaldog-dayafterglowthat the

Dude finally pieces together the mystery of the wholekidnappingcase.Theyinandtheyangcometogethertomakeeverythingwholey.TheDude’sfluid,alternatelyaggressiveandreceptivenaturelenthimtheflexibilityto“getdowntocases.”It increasesthechancesofconception.Thoughheclaimsthatit’s“astrictdrugregimen”thatkeepshismindlimberenoughto figure out this “complex case,” we know that the drugs

aren’tmeredopeordrink.Nope,theDudeisallfuckeduponlife,andit istheresulting“limberal”thinkingthatallowshimto see the forest for the trees in away that is impossible foreveryoneelseinthefilm,addictedtosobrietyastheyare.(See“DuderinosUnanimous,”page192.)

34.You’regoddamnright,we’relivinginthepast.

WhenMaude tells theDude that her father doesn’t have anymoney of his own and in fact has been a lifelong failure inbusiness and everything else, the Dude realizes that he hasbeen played for a fool. There never was any fuckingmoney!TheBigLebowskiembezzledthemoneyandgavetheDudeanemptysuitcase togive to thekidnappers.Suddenly, theworldhas gone downright Biblical: The meek shall be exalted, themountain shall be laid low.As theDude is raisedup, theBigLebowskiisrevealedtobepuny.Andalso,theliongetsinbedwith the lamb.Andsoon,we’llhappen toknow that there’saLittleLebowskitobebegat,downthroughthegenerations.Moreover,asiftoemphasizetheOldTestamentnatureofall

thisnewshit,thesecretofWalter’sJewishnessissubsequentlyaddressed.Anditisherethatthewholescopeandscaleofthefilm is illuminated. As it turns out, is evenbiggerandwideranddeeperthanwecouldhaveimagined.Becausehisailingcarwon’tmakeitallthewaytoPasadena,

theDudecallsonWalteragain,demandingthathegivehimarideevenifitisShabbos,theJewishdayofrest.Walterobliges,but complains that it’s not really anemergencyworthyof hisbreakingstrict3,000-yearoldlaws.HeretheDudefinallyhitsWalterwhere he isweakest, pointing out that he’s not reallyJewish, thatheconvertedtopleasehisex-wifeandonlyholdsontotheoldreligionasawaytomaintainaconnectionwithhisloss.It’seasyat thispoint tosee thisas justa funny littlebitof

character development—thatWalter’s obsession with Judaismisjustanarbitraryreflectionofhowsadhestillisaboutafive-

year-olddivorce.But inamovie inwhichtheDude isdressedlikeaBiblicalJesusandupholdstheNazarene’smoralcode;inwhichthereactuallyisadebasedcharactercalled“TheJesus”;in which Persian carpets, Babylonian ziggurats,29 Hebrewtraditions,andtheCanaanitelandscapeofLosAngelesplaysoprominently, it’s hard not to see this not only as ameans to“wrap ’er all up” but to “wrap up” the last “3,000 years ofbeautifultradition”aswell.JustastheDudeisreluctanttoblindlyridethe“waveofthe

future,”rejectingmuchofthecodeofprogress,soisheacutelyawareofthecripplinggravityofhistory.Ideologyinallformsisa pernicious combination of “living in the fucking past” andanxiousattemptstoridethe“waveofthefuture.”Likemanyapopularself-helpguru,theDudespendsmostofhistimelivingin his “time and place,” and borrowing only cautiously fromothertimezones, lest theybumphimintoahigherexistentialtaxbracket.Thusit isherethattheCoenBrothersprovidethewidestof

all angles in the entire sweep of their cinematic oeuvre. InhavingWalterscream,“3,000yearsofbeautifultradition,fromMosestoSandyKoufax…You’regoddamnrightI’mlivinginthepast!” the breadth of what they’re imparting appears fairlystaggering. Itseemsthat, likeWalter,wetooare living in thepast, attached toaworldviewwehavegrownapart from. It’sallapartofoursickcivilizationthing!Asidefromminormodifications,Americaandalargepartof

Western civilization still operates from an ancient mind-setderived from the earliest beginnings of Western culture, onethat is ratheroutdatedandarguablymaladapted forour timeandplace.Wemustultimatelymoveonand leave itbehind ifwe’reevertoentertheNewDudeAge.

35.Thewholeconceptabates.

Inmanyways, theDude is like theoriginal Jesus,whobrieflygothisdayinthesunandthenwasburiedandresurrectedas

someoneratherdifferent.Thoughthereareseveralpretendersto the throne, the Dude is the only “true Jesus” in the film.Donny’s sacrificial death places himhigh in the running, andthe Jesushas thenameand theLatinpedigree, but it is onlytheDudewhoembodiesthereformistattitudethattheChurchnever allowed to come to full flower. While St. Paul and theCouncil of Nicea refashioned the sage of the sagebrush as agod, theDude’s humanistic spirit slouched down through theages, westward the wagons, through new Bethlehems,ultimatelyendinguponVeniceBeachwaitingtobereborn.30The Dude represents a possible break with this crusty old

tradition, incorporating the best of the Axial Age philosophyandfreeingitfromthefascistimperativesthatourcivilizationperniciously added later. The whole Judeo-Christian conceptabates because it doesn’t adequately represent its originalvirtues.And as a result, it continues to throwout ringers forringers.So what, then, are our Biblical “dirty undies”? The linear,

progressivenotionoflifeandtime;thenecessityofjusticeandretribution; the need for an overarching meaning andexplanationforeverything;themythofthehero;theideaofanendof history andagrand reckoning; thepromise of a greatreward for toeing the line until then; the sense of tribal“specialness”; and perhaps most outdated of all, the fuckingTOE—the idea that we can ever arrive at a stone-chiseled“theoryofeverything.”There’smoretothisthanoursickcivilizationthing,however:

We’restilllivinginthepastbiologically.Sowehavetolearntostop teasing themonkey.Asanexample, theDudestandsoutas the only character who can properly control his limbicsystem. Everyone else is buffeted around by their emotions,yawping like so many marmots or Pomeranians, addicted todrugsof theirownproduction.Walter’sanger,as it turnsout,hasverylittletodowithVietnam.Everytimeheblowshistopinthefilm,itcomesontheheelsofamentionofhisex-wifeorother unfaithful women (“You’re entering a world of pain!”“ShomerShabbos!”“V.I.Lenin!”).Walterisnotangryafterall

—he’s just down in the dumps. That’s just thetalking.The Dude is radically progressive, then, not in a political

sense,butinanexistentialone.Hischaracterrepresentsbothabreakwith theemotional imperativesofbiologyandsocietyandwithmillennia-oldideologythatislongpastitssell-bydate.Whereas everyone else is miserable and unfulfilled and lostbecausetheythinktheyneeda“direction,”theDudeshowsusawaytobe“athome”intheworldevenwithoutadestinationinmind.LikeanoldTaoistmonk,hegoeswiththeflowevenasheremainsutterlystill.Afterthisrevelation,WalterandtheDudearriveinPasadena

and find thatBunnyhas returned to themansionwithallhertoesintact.Notonlywastherenomoney,buttherewasneverwasanyfuckingkidnapping.Everything’satravesty,man!Andtheno-longer-so-BigLebowskiisunrepentantasheisrevealed.He too is shown tobeasmiserableandovercompensatingasWalter, sobbing on the floor, mourning a life not yet liveddespite its approaching end. It is a ghost of Christmas or apicture of Dorian Gray or a Marty McFly moment ofredemption for theDude, affirming once and for all that it isthis Small Lebowski who deserves our admiration. That’sterrificbecause,inmostcases,weare Lebowski.

36.Getoutofthisthingcheap.

According to the original listed runtime of the film (98minutes),themovieshouldbeovernow.Buttherearestill20minutestogo!Nowthat’sfuckinginteresting,man.Isthereanunspoken message here? Perhaps it’s to underscore the factthat the conventional part of the story should be seen asseparatefromwhatit’sreallyallabout.Backamongtheflockofholybowlers,Walterisholdingforth

as usual, blathering about how the GulfWar is all about oil,comparing it unfavorably to the Vietnam War—“now that’sfucking combat.” On the heels of this statement, he and the

Dude andDonny face real-life combat out in the parking lot.The nihilists still want the money, and they’re prepared to“fucks you up” to get it. Though they will settle for pocketchange,Walteradheres stubbornly tohis3,000-year-oldCodeof Hammurabi tradition of “desert warfare” rather thanadopting a more flexible attitude. The Dude insists, “C’monman, we’re getting out of this thing cheap!” but they go tobattleanyway.Waltervanquisheshisenemy,butDonnydiesinthemelee—from a heart attack. In awar between fanaticismand nihilism, the naive pawns among us will find themselvesbattedaroundlikebowlingpins.Delivering a eulogy on the bluffs south of Los Angeles

overlooking the ocean,Walter tries towrap up the life of hisfriendDonny,butjustastheCoensdowiththestoryitself,hetoowillfail.Thereisnothinginthefilmtoindicatethatweedy,paleDonnyisasurfer,andhisbestfriendsdon’tknowhowhewantedtobedisposedof.31Walterdumpsthecremainsfromacheapcoffeecanandtheashblowsbackintheirfaces.Thisiswhatourlivesamounttointheend:asillycomedyof

errors inwhichwearen’t even trulyknownorunderstoodbyour closest compeers. Sadly, real life does not wrap up asneatlyasatypicalHollywoodmovie.YetfromtheDudeistpointofview,thisisnogreattragedy.Ultimatelyweallgetoutofthisthingcheap.Regardlessofall

thatwemightacquireorachieveinlife,weareallpisspoorindeath, and recognizing that might allow us to recognize thepriceless value of life. Our lives are our only true asset, andaspiring toward greatness, or power, or glory, or goldutterlymisses thepoint ofwhatwe’re supposed to dowith our seedcapital. Living is the end in itself. It is the greatest artimaginable, and everything that helps us appreciate it is aninvestmentinourmodesttemporarycheckingaccountandtheclubofvalue.

37.Fuckit,Dude,let’sgobowling.

Andso,havingaccomplishedlittleandlostplenty,Waltersaystohis best pal, “Fuck it,Dude, let’s gobowling.” It is both asurrenderandanembrace.Thereisnosportbettersuitedthanbowlingtohelpvisualizethenatureandartofliving.Itisbothanutterlypointlessendeavorandanutterlybeautifulpastime.It requires no special ability or conditioning. It is profoundlysocial.Andevenachildcandoit.32It is this: Take something heavy and unwieldy and set it in

motion.Trytoletitflowwithbalanceandbetweenatensionofopposites. Sit down and rest. Then stand up and try again.

Markit lazyeight,Dude:that istosay, infinity.Weareallofusdeadinthewater.

38.TheDudeabides.

To wrap things all up, or to make an attempt at least, ourcowboynarratorshowsuponceagain.Westilldon’tknowwhyhe’s there, butwe like the fact that he is.He’s a comfortingpresence. Without him we might not have recognized howimportanttheDudeactuallyis,mighthavelaughedhimoffasamerebuffoon.ButbyplacingtheDudeincontext,primingustounderstandthathe’snotjustaman,butthathe’s“themanforhistimeandplace”whois“takin ’ereasyforussinners,”theStrangerachievesthemodesttaskthatwashischarge,andhecangetbackon thatsuitablyhighhorse, rambling furtherondownthetrail.This,ofcourse,isthereasonmankindstubbornlyadheresto

theideaofreligionorGod,andavatarslikeJesus,Krishna,theBuddha.There’ssomethingundeniablycomfortinginbelievingthere’sarightwaytodothings,somethingprefiguredintothetapestryoftheuniverse,therugthattieseverythingtogether.Andthattherearemenfortheirtimeandplacethatcanbestexemplifyhowweourselvesmight“fitrightinthere.”Whetherthesebeliefsare trueornot,mankind is indesperateneedofthem.However,after3,000yearsofbeautifultradition,mightitnot be high time to look toward another bearded,

misunderstood monk who drinks carefully from the sacredbeverageofhalf-and-half?When the film’s folksynarratorwishes theDudegood luck,

our hee-ro says, “Well, you know, the Dude abides,” and theStranger“takescomfortinthat.”But“Dude”hasalreadybeenestablished in the film as a non-personal noun, as a state ofbeing, as in the and the . “The Dude abides,”therefore,doesn’tjustrefertothisonepersoninthisoneplaceatthisonetime,buttoaneternalprincipleofDudeism.Downthroughtheages.Acrossthesandsoftime.Itperseveresasitplays.Ittakesiteasyforussinners.Italwayshas.33TheStrangerthensays,“Welp,thataboutwraps’erup.”But

of course, on face value, it absolutely does not. The Dudedoesn’t get his rugback andwedon’t know if he andWalterwinthetournament.Wedon’tevenknowforsure ifLebowskistolethemoney,andifhedid,whetheritwaseverreturned.SomanyofthestrandsinoldDude’sheadarestillloose,flappinginthewindlikethefrayedendsofahalf-wovenrug.Butthen,whyshould beneatlywrappedupwhenlifeitselfisnot?That’s the way the whole durn human comedy keeps

perpetuatin’ itself.Thestory’s ludicrous.But it’sagoodstory.Don’tcha think? Forget about the fucking TOE. Were youlistening to the Dude’s story? Sometimes there’s a frame ofreference.It’stheworldviewforitstimeandplace.Andthat’salsotheDude’s,in .Abidebythis.

II

WiserFellersThanOurselves—DudeistHistory

GREATDUDESINHISTORY

WhatmakesaGreatDude?Is it being prepared to always take ’er easy, whatever the

cost? Are Great Dudes only those who have the necessarymeansfora,necessarymeansforahigherabide-ucation,orisitstillpossibletoslackoffmanually?DoesbeingaGreatDuderequire a pair of testicles, or can special ladies achieve theparamountpeakofDudenessaswell?WeattheChurchoftheLatter-DayDudeoftenpondersuch

esoteric questions, especially after our sacramental Thaistickshipment arrives each month. In our contemplations we getpretty close to discovering themythical , only tohave the whole concept abate into a serious case of themunchies.Truthis,whenitcomestodefiningtheelusivequalitiesofa

Great Dude, it’s often just, like, your opinion,man. You haveyourdefinition,Ihavemine.Evenso,wecanstillgetyoualistofDudeswhoexemplifytakin’’ereasyinaworldgonecrazy…someofthem nailpolish.Ofcourse,therehavebeenplentyofGreatDudesacrossthe

sands of time, known and unknown, who have abided downthroughtheagesbutdidn’tmakeittothefinalsinthissection.The ones we highlight here all come from various times andplaces,somehavejohnsons,somehavebeavers—buteachhasanunspokenmessageaboutabidingthatwecantakecomfortin.

Wesurehopeyoufolkswilldigtheirstyle.

JesusandtheBuddha:APairofDiggableDudes

A philosopher by the name of Karl Jaspers, WFTO,34 calledthese twoGreatDudesparadigmatic individualsbecause theyprettymuchshapedthebulkofworldcivilizationforcenturies.Now,“paradigmatic.”Dophilosophershavetousesomanycussedbigwords?Instead of running around trying to show off how big our

dictionariesarebyusingawordlike“paradigmatic,”let’sjustget down to cases. In ourmore laid-back parlance, we thinkJesus and Buddha were a pair of diggable individuals whohappened to change the world by taking it easy for all usuptightsinners.

OfGodsandDudes

Millions of people around theworld todayworship Jesus andSiddhartha Gautama (the Buddha) as pure and perfectincarnationsofsomethingdivineandotherworldly.Andthat’scool.There’s no harm intended here to anyone’s religious

regimens,buttheEditorialWeattheChurchoftheLatter-DayDudeprefertostripawayallthehalosandheavenlychorusessurrounding Jesus and Siddhartha. When we do that, it’s awhole lot easier to dig the human Dudes they were here onearth before they were posthumously promoted to uppercosmicmanagement.Spendjustafewminutesbrowsinginthereligionsectionofa

bookstore, and you’ll see there was no literal connectionbetweenthesetwoearthboundguys.

•Jesuswasborntoapoor,teenageJewishmotherinaMiddleEasternbackwateroftheRomanEmpire;500yearsearlierSiddharthawasarichHinduprincelivingthehighlifewithhisdadneartheHimalayas.

•JesuswasemployedasacarpenterundertheruleofRomanfascistsanduptightreligiousreactionaries;Siddharthawasshelteredinthepalaceofhistimes,partyingwithroyalconcubinesonhisdad’sdime.

•Jesuswassingle(unlessyou’reintothewholething)andlivedathomewithhismom,brothers,

andsisters;SiddharthawasmarriedandhadalittleGautamskiontheway.

Yet, early in their lives they both dropped out of theunsatisfying roles their societies demanded they play andwandered off to find their own authentic way in the world:Jesus caught some rays out in the desert for a while, andSiddhartha chilled in the shade of a bodhi tree. By the timethey rambled back to their respective square communities,Jesus and Siddhartha were all enlightened up and ready tospreadtheirmessageofmellowingouttothemasses.

AbidingLessons

DespitethedifferencesbetweenJesusandSiddhartha(poorvs.rich,workingstiffvs.partyguy,Messiahvs.Buddha),wecanlearnalotfromthemwhenitcomestoabiding.While we’re still working on the turning-water-into-wine

thing(whichwefeelwouldreallyenhanceourabilitytotakeiteasy), here are some proven, paradigmatic lessons aboutabidingthatwecangetfromthispairofdiggableDudes:Youregoisjustthebagman,notthedriver.Jesustaughtthatifyoureallywanttotakeiteasy,youneed

to letgoofyourego’ssteeringwheeland let thecosmicGPSdrive your fucking car, so to speak. Siddhartha went evenfurtherandsaidthereneverreallywasasteeringwheelinthefirst place.Once you realize that, it’s a lot easier to laybackandenjoytheride.Digtheeternalnow,man.What Jesus called theKingdom ofGodwasn’t a placewe’ll

get tosometime in the future; it’salreadyhereallaroundus.We just need to slow down and take a lookwithin ourselves.Wherever we are, it’s down there somewhere. Siddhartha’sMiddlePathistheexpresswaytotheheartofdowntownHere-and-Now,aplacemostofusvisitonceinawhilebutwherefewofusactuallylive.Stopworryingandgowiththeflow.Most of us have workdays and tax brackets to deal with.

Jesus liked topointout,however, that ifbirdsand liliesdon’tworryaboutthatshit,thenwhyshouldwe?There’ssomethingbigger than the phony reality of governments, corporations,andbanksthat’stakingcareofthem…maybeitcantakecareofus, too, ifwe let it. Siddhartha said stressing out about life’sillusionsonlyleadstoaworldofpainwherewecalleachothershithead and treat objects like women. And that’s a realbummer,man.Havegoodfriendsyoucanrollwith.AfterJesusandSiddharthatunedintotheirDudeselves,they

didn’t go all monastic on everyone. Like the Dude, they

wanderedthroughlifegettingalongwith justabouteveryone,from priests to prostitutes. On a personal level, though, theyrolledwithaposseof valuedpalswithwhom theycouldkickbackandbreaksomebread,sharesomeparables,startanewreligion.Theusual.

Lao-Tzu:It’sYourThing,TaoWhatYouWannaDo

There’salotaboutLao-Tzuwedon’tunderstand.Like,howdoyouspellhisname,foronething:isitLao-Tzu,

Lao-Tse, Laozi, Lao Dan, Lao-baoski? Did he write theuncompromiseddraftof this thingcalled the byhimself, or was it him and six other guys? Did Lao-Tzu evenexist, or was he out of his element in what most of us callreality?Well,dudes,wejustdon’tknow.What we do know is that Lao-Tzu, whether real or myth,

embodies the essence of Taoism, one of the most ancientexpressions of what we call the Dude Way. Jesus andSiddharthaspentmuchoftheirlivesblatheringabouttheDudeWay insermonsandsutras toanyonewhowould listen,whilecenturies earlier Lao-Tzu captured the entire experience in asinglephrase:“Fuckit”(looselytranslatedfromChinese).Thatjustaboutwrapsitallup.

OriginatoroftheRebelShrug

LegendhasitthatLao-TzuwasacuratoroftheRoyalLibraryinChinasometimeinthe6thcentury,beforeJesuscamealongandresetthecalendricalclocksoneveryone.Oneofthereasonsweknowsolittleabouthim(assuminghe

even existed) is that when he wasn’t doing his day job re-stackingscrollsatthelibrary,oldTzuderapparentlylikedtolielow in his bungalow doing his own thing. According to anaccountbyaChinamannamedCh’ien:

Like the Dude, Lao-Tzu wasn’t much interested in a life ofego-driven achievement.He knew from studying the Tao thatlivingthatstressed-outwaywasnotinharmonywith :thenatural,creativeflowthatreallytiestheuniversetogether.All Lao-Tzu had to do was look around at the crumblingkingdom he was in to see what happens when you’re not intunewiththeTao:fuckingfasciststhrowingcupseverywhere,nihilists threatening castration, people wondering where themoneyis.Lao-Tzudidn’tgetallworkedupabouttheworldgonecrazy

hefoundhimselfin,though.Thatwouldhavebeenveryun-Tao.He didn’t join a bunch of reactionaries waving Chinese teabags around; he knew nihilism wasn’t even an ethos and hedidn’tcarewherethebullshitmoneywasbecausethereneverwasanyinthefirstplace.Instead,Lao-Tzudidnothing…nothing,exceptshrugandsay:

“Fuckit.”Scholarsaren’tsurewhetherhetattooedthatonhisforehead

ornot.Butbeforeheadingoutoftownonhiswaterbuffalowithrustcoloration,Lao-Tzudidjotdownhisanswerforeverythinginahandfulofshortversesthatbecamethe theTaoist holy book. Then he rode a-way out west somewherebetweenlegendandmyth,wherehe’sabidedeversince.

AbidingLessons

AswithJesusandSiddhartha,somereligiousfolkshavemadeLao-Tzu into a God. We think the philosophical Lao-baoskiwouldhavefoundthatexhausting.Here are a few uncomplicated things the down-to-earth

Tzuder might have contemplated while doing somemovesonhisrug:Dobynotdoing.

ThatissomekindofEasternthing.Doesatumbleweedmakeitself tumble alongordoes it roll fromanatural flow it can’tcontrol?Keepthingssimple.The beauty of Lao-Tzu’s philosophy is its simplicity. Same

goes with abiding through life. If things get too complex,somethingalwaysgoeswrong.Nothingisreal.NotlikeLennonsaid,butintheyin-yangsensethatyoucan’t

have something without also having nothing, or have upswithoutdowns,strikeswithoutgutters.

HeraclitusandEpicurus:Life’sAllFluxedUp,SoEnjoytheUpsandDowns

The only frame of reference some folks have of “theGreeks”may involverestaurants thatservegyros (what’sa“yee-ro”?),college fraternities and sororities, or those cheesy HerculesmoviesmadeinItalybackinthe’60s.Sure, people also think of all those guys with long beards

roamingaroundancientGreeceblatheringaboutthenatureofreality,but the truth is,muchof theirphilosophizing leavesalotofuswonderingwhattheyfucktheyweretalkingabout.Still,thesetwoWFTOswereamongthefirsttoidentifybasic

elementsoftheDudeistethos,andthat’swhatearnsthemthisloftypositioninourpantheonofGreatDudes.

Heraclitus: Dude, Are You Fluxing This Up? Heraclituswas something of a crotchety Greek philosopher whosewritingssomefolksconsideredcrypticandabitstupefying.We’re not going to split hairs here, however. Regardless of

whatkindofguyhewas,HeraclitusisreveredbyDudeistsforperceivingtwofundamentaltenetsofabiding,ifweunderstandthemcorrectly:

•Everythingintheuniverseisconstantlyinflux.•There’saunityunderlyingopposites.

Heraclitusobservedthat,“youcanneverstepintothesamerivertwice.”(Or,intheLebowskilexicon,“Youcanneverhaveyour head dunked into the same bowl of toilet water twice,shithead.”) Similarly, ups and downs, strikes and gutters…they’re justdifferentmanifestationsof thatsameever-flowingreality.He was basically pointing out that the essential nature of

everything (rivers, toiletwater, humanbeings, the cosmos) isone and always changing from moment to moment intosomething new and different. So you should just take it easyand go with that natural flow instead of getting all uptighttryingtoclingtoapastthatdoesn’texist.

Epicurus:YouCan’tWorryAboutThatShitAnyonewhohas an entire way of life named after him isn’t exactly alightweight.As the founder of Epicureanism, Epicurus laid out a basic

Dudeist philosophy that posits true happiness emerges fromhanging out with friends, having a simple, self-sufficientlifestyle,andfromlearningtosay“fuggedaboudit”whenlifeisabummer.According to Epicurus, the goal of his philosophy was

somethinghecalled “ataraxia,”which isessentiallyGreek for“Justtakeiteasy, .”Although his name is ironically associated with high-end

connoisseurship today, Epicurus was in fact a champion ofthriftandsimplicity.HemayhaveevenfrowneduponindulginginphysicalpleasureslikejerkingoffmanuallyandmighthavemindediftheDudelitupajayinhishouse.Nevertheless,theessentialEpicureanapproachtolifewasinharmonywithTonytheChauffeur’sphilosophythattheDudedugsomuch:“Mywife’sapainintheass.She’salwaysbustingmyfriggin’

agates.Mydaughter’smarriedtoajadroolloserbastard.AndIgot a rash so bad onmy ass, I can’t even sit down. But youknowme.Ican’tcomplain.”Fuckin’A,man.

AbidingLessons

Lifecontinuallygoeson,man.Consequently,oneshouldmakethemostof itbygoingwith

theflowandsparkingoneupwheneverpossible.Andstepintotheriver fromtime to time,preferablywithacocktailandaninnertube.Upsanddowns,strikesandgutters…they’reallthesame.Thetrickistorolldownthecenterbetweentheseextremes

andabide.Ataraxia…Fuggedaboudit...Oras theDudewouldsay: “Life’s tooshort,man.Youcan’t

worryaboutthatshit.”

EmilyDickinson:It’sYourRoll,Dude

A commonquestionweget here at theChurch of theLatter-DayDude(asidefrom“Whatthefuckareyoutalkingabout?”)involves whether women can be Dudes. Not in Aerosmith’s“Dude Looks Like a Lady” sense of the word, but in ourpreferrednomenclature.Theshortanswer?Shityeah.Beinga“Dude”doesn’trequirehavingajohnson,man;it’sall

about shrugging off social conformity, tapping into somethinggenuine,andabidingbyitsmeaning.Bythatdefinition,EmilyDickinsonout-Dudesmostguys,whichhappenstomakeheraGreatDudeinherstory.

BecauseICouldNotStopforDude

Considering her repressive Victorian New England time andplace, Emily Dickinson was truly an original who went farbeyond the female formofapoetic life to finda roomallherown.

Unlikemany of her poseurmale contemporaries, Dickinsonlived a completely uncompromised authentic life. While WaltWhitman is considered a Great Dude, the verse he unfoldedwas greeting-card doggerel compared to Dickinson’s uniqueandinnovativestyle.Althoughmanywomenofherclassatthetime knew their domestic place and remained ostensiblydemure, she spoke out unabashedly with a poetic voice thatstillreverberatesinAmericanliterature.Yeah, shewas an antisocial eccentric. Yeah, she could be a

tad Puritanical. Yeah, she remained pretty much obscurethroughout her life. But none of these characteristicsdisqualifiedherfromfollowingtheDudeWay.WhileDickinsonrefusedtobetreatedlikeanobjectandhung

outmostlybyherselfinherroomathome,shecultivatedalifedevoid of pretense. She didn’t indulge in bohemian doses ofmind-alteringsubstances,yetasan“inebriateofair”shegotabuzzfromsimplybeingalive,man,aswhenshewrote:

She also rejected the johnson-dominated religiousmetanarrativeofhertime,andchoseinsteadtounfoldherownlivingstoryratherthanfollowtheBible,abookthatshecalledan“antiquevolumewrittenbyfadedmen.”FewpeopledugDickinson’s stylewhile shewasalive.After

shewentofftothatbigFolgerscaninthesky,aselfappointedEditorialWe tookher jagged littlepoemsand tried tosmoothawaytheirroughedges.Fuckingfascists.Yetregardlessofwhatyourgenderidentitymaybe,thoseof

us who dig Emily Dickinson’s style see her as a distinctlyabidingDudewhowentherownwayandmadewritingpoetryherveryownzesty,naturalenterprise.

AbidingLessons

While some may think that it’s a man’s world, DickinsonshowedthatbeingaDudeisaboutmorethanhavingapairoftesticles.Ithasmoretodowith:Havingthecouragetorollyourownauthenticway.Dickinsonshruggedoffthestiflinggenderexpectationsofthe

Victorianeraandtappedhertrueself.Asanyonewhohastriedto shrug off the stifling gender expectations of our own timeandplaceknows,thatrequiresalotoffortidude.Valuingintegrityandmeaninginyourlifeoverfameandfortune.Todayaperson’sworthisoftenmeasuredbythesizeofhisor

herbankaccountandlevelofcelebrity.AbidingintheDudelyway, however, is more like Dickinson said: “I do not like themanwhosquanderslifeforfame;givemethemanwholivingmakesaname.”Gettinghighonbeingalive.Contrary to some common misperceptions, being a Dude

doesn’t have to involve ingesting mind-altering elements.Dickinson’sabidingexampleencouragesusto“findecstasyinlife; the mere sense of living is joy enough.” Far out. Anaddictiontobeingaliveisastrictdrugregimenwecandig.

MarkTwain:AmericanIdle

“Dude” is a nameMark Twain probably would not have self-appliedinhistimeandplace.Back then in the Wild West where Twain once abided, a

“dude” really was some kind of eastern thing: someone fromback East all gussied up in fancy clothes putting onwesternairs.Awhinyrhinestonecowboywithacleftassholetoboot.Yeah,itwasthatbad.Nevertheless,forus,Twainmostdefinitelyqualifiesasagen-

u-wineGreatDudeinhistory.Infact,henotonlyepitomizestheAmericanDudeistethos—hedangnearoriginatedit.

APioneerinAmericanIndolence

Longbeforehippiestunedin,droppedout,andflockedtoSanFranciscointhe1960s,MarkTwainturnedhisbackonuptightVictoriansocietyandlitoutfortheterritorya-wayoutwestinthe 1860s. There, he tumbled around like a tumblingtumbleweed, living the life of a sagebrush bohemian:prospecting forgoldhenever found,hangingaroundwithhiseccentricpals,knockingbackquiteafewoatsodas.Keepin’itreal.AndlongbeforeJeffSpicoli,theBeachBoys’DennisWilson,

orDonnyKerabatsos took to thewaves,Twainwasasurfer—maybethefirstwhiteguy,infact,tosurfthesunnybeachesofHawaii.Looking back on his days hanging outwith nude natives in

thebosomofthePacific,sunninghimselfunderpalmtreesallday,Twainextolledthevirtuesofabidinginaplacewhere“youaresafefromtheturmoiloflife;youdrowseyourdaysawayinalongdeepdreamofpeace;thepast isaforgottenthing,thepresentisheaven,thefutureyouleavetotakecareofitself.”Far-out,man.Farfuckingout.Unlikea lotofhippieswhotraded intheir tie-dyesand love

beadsforabeemerandacorneroffice,TwainalwaysremainedtruetothespiritoflanguidnessthathelpedmakeAmericatheLandoftheFree:“I amno laziernow than Iwas40 years ago,”heobserved

late in life, “but that is because I reached the limit 40 yearsago.Youcan’tgobeyondpossibility.”Sure,Twainwasnotahee-ro.Likemostofus,hewas torn

throughouthis lifebetweenhis freewheelin’bumsideandhisambitiousdrivetofeedthemonkey.Nothingchanges.However,regardlessofthestrikesandguttersliferolledhis

way,Twaincontinuedtoabide.Andinthestorieshewrotethatmake us laugh to beat the band (especially the one about aslacker namedHuck), he always reminds all of us sinners tojusttakeiteasy,man.

AbidingLessons

MarkTwainremainsanenduringlylazyiconofallthingsDude.HereareafewotherlessonsinDudelinessyoumaynothave

learnedabouthimwhiledozingoffinEnglishclass.Becoolracially.Yeah,yeah,weknowallaboutthewhole“n-word”thing.But

MarkTwainwasactuallyprettycool,racially.Hecriticizedthereactionary police for harassing Asian immigrants in SanFrancisco; back East, he married into an abolitionist family,befriended Frederick Douglass, and paid for one of the firstAfricanAmericanstoattendYaleLawSchool.Ifwecanplacehiswritingsinthatlargerframeofreference,

perhapswewon’t get souptight about someof thewordshewrote.Andifwedon’tgetsohunguponhiswords,maybewewon’t get so hung up with each other, no matter what ourpreferrednomenclaturesmaybe.Keepeverythinginperspective.Most people are stressed out if they have a job, fear they

mightloseajob,orwishtheycouldfindajob.Employedornot,we run around chasing after money and spend much of ourlivestryingtoachievethingsthatremainoutofreach.Wecan’tallow that negative energy to consume who we really are,though.AsTwainobserved:

Markit,Dude.Thatistosay,MarkTwainit.Don’tforgettolaughtobeattheband.We’re all sick of the bullshit pandemic plaguing the world

today.Twain’sremedyforit?Ahealthydoseoflaughter.It’sthe

only thing that blasts through all theB.S. and reminds us allthatthecosmicjokeisonus…sowhynotenjoythepunchlinewhileyoucan.

BobMarley:RastaFarOut

BobMarleyhasinspiredmillionsofTrustafarianstogetbakedoncollegecampusesandplayhackysackwhileskippingclass.Highly revered by his Rastafarian compeers as a visionaryprophetwithone totally coolbackbeat,his veneration for thesacred spliff also naturally qualifies him as an honorary highpriestofourabidingethosaswell.But when all the ganja smoke clears, it’s plain to see that

Marley’srighteousjammingmakesjustabouteveryonewanttocometogetherandfeelallright.It’sthispositivemusicalvibe,combinedwithalifededicated

totakin’’ereasy,that,inourhumbleestimation,elevatesBobMarleytoGreatDudestatusworldwide.

LivelyUpYourself

You’dthinkgrowinguppoorintheroughrealityofghettolifein Jamaica would have caused Bob Marley to drag a lot ofnegativeenergyintolife’stournament.Farfromit.Asheonceput it in one of his reggae ruminations, he couldn’t live thatnegativewaybutinsteadmadewayforapositiveday.That’s not to sayMarley stumbled in an herb-induced haze

down the primrose path of positivity.We’re not talking aboutHannahMontanahere.HisThird-World timeandplacewas filledwithdeadlygang

violenceandwarringpoliticalfactions.Beingbi-racialhimself,Marleyalsohadtodealwithraciallyuptightwhitesandblacks.Yet,healwaysabidedrightdownthemiddleoflife’sstrikesandgutters, teaching folks how to take ’er easy in the First,Second,Third,andFourthworldsofpain.

“Lifeisonebigroadwithlotsofsigns,”MarleypreachedinoneDudely discourse. “Sowhen you riding through the ruts,don’t complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief, andjealousy. Don’t bury your thoughts, put your vision to reality.Wakeupandlive!”Marleywasn’tknownforpreachypop-starplatitudes,though.

He put his positive vision into reality by helping to bringtogether the leaders of the two warring political parties inJamaica during a concert. Even after being woundedbeforehand by a bunch of gun-toting reactionaries, Marleyabided right on through the concert to show that thisaggressionwouldnotstand,man.Marley’s musical vibrations and positive groove weren’t

purely altruistic, of course. He was propelled to worldwidefameandmadeatonofbones,orclams,orwhateveryoucallit.Wheresomefolkswouldgetallhungupinthesoulnumbingcomplications of such a rock ’n’ roll lifestyle, he somehowremainedpluggedintothecreativeabidingsourceofhisDude-likevibrations.It’s like Marley said: “The greatness of a man is not how

muchwealthheacquires,butinhisintegrityandhisabilitytoaffectthosearoundhimpositively.”AlthoughBobMarleymade it to the finals far tooearly,we

canalwaystakecomfortinthefactthatashejamswithJahinthe Life Everliving, this Great Dude’s integrity and positivitywill forever give anyone who wants to abide in his music acontacthigh.

AbidingLessons

Ifyouwantaquickshortcuttotakin’iteasy,justkickbackanddigafewBobMarleytunesforacouplehours,withorwithoutherbal assistance. You can also lively up yourself bycontemplatingsomeofthisRastaDude’smeditations.Taketimetoseewhatconditionyourconditionisin.Like Marley asked: “Are you satisfied with the life you’re

living?”It’sgoodtolookunderthehoodoftentocheckhowfullyoursatisfactionlevelis.Ifit’sflat,stiritup.Emancipateyourselffromuptightthinking.You’re the only one, really, who can free yourself from the

strandsofstressed-outthoughtinyourhead.“Moneycan’tbuylife.”AdyingBobMarley said thesewords tohis son,Ziggy, but

theyarealsocoolwordsfortherestustowakeupandliveby.

GeorgiaO’KeeffeandDianediPrima:StronglyVaginalArtists

As we pointed out in our section dude-icated to EmilyDickinson,thefemaleformofbeingaDudedoesnotmakeusuncomfortable.In fact, the Church of the Latter-Dude has ordained

thousandsofstronglyvaginalDudeistpriests,foundedaVirtualShrinetoOurSpecialLadytopromotethefeminineaspectsofourethos,andweespeciallydigthestyleofthespecialladiesin our lives and thosewho regularly participate in our onlinecommunities.Still, theChurchcanseemat times likearealsausagefest.

That’swhyweadmirethesetwofemaleDudeswhoheldtheirown, so to speak, in zesty, creative enterprises that are oftendominatedbyDRJs(dicks,rods,andjohnsons).

BeaverPictures

GeorgiaO’Keeffemayhavedenied thatsomeofherpaintingsof flowers resembled the female form (parts, anyway), butthere is no denying that a ground-breaking originality andintenselycolorfulbeautypermeatesallofherartwork.Whileuber-modernistguyslikePicassowererunningaround

treatingobjectslikewomenandtryingtoBogarttheartworld,O’Keeffe did the Dudely thing and headed a-way out west to

take it easy in a place called Taos, New Mexico. There, shepaintedvividdesert landscapes, immenseblueskies,andsun-bleached animal bones that ended up revolutionizingmodernart.Yeah, O’Keeffe worked hard at her art (is working hard at

somethingyoulovereallywork?).Butshealsorecognizedtheimportance of slowing down and finding the time to abide inthenaturalflowofthings.Shelovedtolieonabenchbesideatreeatnightandgazeupthroughthebranchesatthestars.“Nobodyseesa flower really; it is so small,” sheonce said,

explaining her take-it-easy approach to creating art. “Wehaven’ttime,andtoseetakestime—liketohaveafriendtakestime.”Truethat.WhichiswhywethinkO’Keeffeshowsusthatlife

doesn’t imitate art; when you slow down and abide, lifeart.

WritingStorieswithProductionValue…Feeling

Think about the 1950s Beat generation andmost likely guyslikeJackKerouac,WilliamBurroughs,andAllenGinsburgwillcomebe-boppingtomind.However,oftenoverlookedamongallthese cool cats are their chilled-out female counterparts. TheBeatChicks,ifyouwill.These special lady friends, according to

, “were compassionate, careless, charismatic,marching to a different drummer,” all ofwhich sounds prettyDudelytous.Sothat’swhypoet,author,andteacherDianediPrima,the“archetypalBeatwoman,”isinourgalleryofGreatDudes.In addition to writing volumes of poetry, di Prima raised

feminist standards in adult entertainment with her erotic.Shealsobalancedatrulyboholifestyle

with a disciplined life as a writer, thinker, publisher, andmother (who brought her five children along while taking iteasy in ashrams and hanging out at Timothy Leary’s trippy

Millbrookcommunity).Thanks to special ladies like Diane di Prima, our

understandingofwhatitmeanstobeaGreatDudehascomealongway,baby.

AbidingLessons

Before women’s lib and grrl power, these two Great Dudesabidedinartisticandliteraryworldsdominatedbyrods,dicks,andjohnsonsandshowedusthat:Takingiteasyisgender-neutral.Bowingoutof therat race, ignoringsocietalpressures,and

living more simply and creatively are elements of a fulfillinglife,regardlessofwhetheryouhaveapairoftesticles.

Workinghardatwhatyouloveisnotabummer.O’KeeffeanddiPrimadidn’t loungearoundthepoolallday

painting their toenails green. Like many of the Great Dudeslistedhere,theyworkedhardnot justtofeedthemonkeybuttodothingstheytrulydug.Slowingdownishowyoufindyourpath.O’Keeffe regularly left the city for the slower,more natural

pace of the desert; di Prima shrugged off the uptight genderrolesandratraceofhertimeandabidedinthebohemianslowlane.Had theybeenracingdown life’shighwaysinging“VivaLas Vegas,” they would’ve rushed right by and missed theDudelysightsontheroad.

WavyGravy:SaintMisbehavin’

It may just be our opinion, man, but anyone who has had aflavorofBen&Jerry’s IceCreamnamedafterhimhasprettymuchattainedinstantGreatDudestatus.ThelateGratefulDeadguitaristJerryGarcia,forinstance,is

memorialized by pint-sized monuments of munchie-crushingCherry Garcia stocked in supermarket frozen dessert aisles.

For a while there, the counter-culture clown and all-arounddecenthumanbeingcalledWavyGravyalsohadanuttyblendnamedafterhim.AlthoughBen&Jerry’sdiscontinuedGravy’sicecreambrand

a fewyearsback,notevenglobalwarmingcanbegin tomeltawayhiscool,karmiclegacyofcompassionatecraziness.

TheIllegitimateSonofHarpoMarxandMotherTheresa35

“WavyGravy”isn’tanamemostofuswouldselfapply.AlthoughtheactualhandleWavyGravy’slovin’parentsgave

himwasHughRomney,heneverhadmuchuseforit.In1969,whenacomicalmisunderstandingledbluesguitaristB.B.Kingto think Romney’s name was Wavy Gravy, Romney felt thatappellation fit right in therewith his freaky self-actualizationduringthe’60s.Whenhewas“HughRomney”intheearlypartofthedecade,

hehadhungoutinGreenwichVillagewithhispalsBobDylanandLennyBruce,writingandperformingpoetryandramblingmonologues. By the late ’60s, though, “Wavy Gravy” seemedmore appropriate for someone who found himself out westtripping with the Grateful Dead and founding a hippiecommuneonahogfarm.Gravy also adopted his clownish persona around this time

after getting roughed up and arrested by reactionary copsduring antiwar protests. He started wearing clown make-upandclothestodemonstrationsbecause,hefigured,whowantstobeseenbeatingupaclown?It was at Woodstock, as real political reactionaries

threatened to have the National Guard clear out the hippiehaven, thatGravy’s clownishnessbecamedeeply infusedwiththeDudeWay.Duringall therainstorms,badacid,andapotentialviolent

crackdown,heandtheothersrunningtheconcertnonethelessstavedoff thenegative energyand conjuredup threedaysof

peace, love, and music. Gravy believes it was because theysurrenderedtheirindividualegostoanamazingenergyintheuniverse that worked through them to create a momentarymuddyheavenonearth.ThisenergycontinuedtospillWavyGravyacrossthesandsof

time, inspiring him to use his clownish persona to make theworldabetter(andfunnier)place.As other ’60s activists grew disillusioned and apathetic,

GravyhelpedfeedstarvingrefugeesinKathmandu,andheco-founded the Seva Foundation (which helps provide health toimpoverished communities around the world). Today heregularly cheers up sick children in hospitals and he and hiswife run a performing arts camp called CampWinnarainbowfor underprivileged kids (something like the Little LebowskiUrbanAchievers,onlyawholelotcooler).Wedon’tknowaboutyou,butinaworldfullofselfabsorbed

bozos,wetakerealcomfortinWavyGravy’sholyfoolishness.Mr.Gravy,forevermayyourfreakflagwavy.

AbidingLessons

With his lifelong dedication to improving the world throughclownish activism, Wavy Gravy shows us there’s more toabidingthanlyingaroundlikeabunchofdeadbeats.Beaclown,beclown,beaclown.Not the kind of clown that creeps out little kids, but the

kindly jester/trickster/fool who pokes holes in our uptight,overly serious egos so that our deeper humanity can flowthrough.Rollwiththeexistentialbananapeelsthatslipyouup.Lifecanbereallyabsurdsometimes,butgettingallnihilistic

aboutitwon’thelp.Theabsurd’s-eye-viewdoesn’tmakesenseof it all, but it does help us roll through the whole durnedhumancomedywithasmileonourfaces.AsWavyGravyputit:“Keepyoursenseofhumor,myfriend;ifyoudon’thaveasenseofhumor,itjustisn’tfunnyanymore.”

Taking it easy also means taking care of basic humanneeds.Slowing down and taking it easy helps you recognize the

basichumanneedsthataffectallofus,man.Why,ifenoughofus abide together and let the DudeWay work through us tomeetthoseneeds…wemightjustcatchanotherglimpseoftheheavenonearththat’salreadyhereallaroundus.

JeffBridges:He’sTheDude,Man…That’sWhatYouCallHim

Sometruthsaresoself-evident, they’rehardlyworthpointingout.The bosom of the Pacific is really deep, for instance. The

Himalayas,well,they’reprettybig.Thesun,asmostphysicistswillattest,isveryhot.AndJeffBridges,byourestimation,isoneGreatDude.AlotoffolksidentifyBridgeswithhisiconicperformanceas

the Dude in , but the character he playedwasn’tjusttheresultofsomekindofactingthing.Farfromit,dudes.

SometimesThere’saMan

By Jeff Bridges’ own admission, there’s a lot about the Dudethat he would understand. Although the character is largelybasedon theDudeofHistory, JeffDowd,Bridgeswas a littlefreaked when he first read the script because he found theDudetobesomuchlikehimself.“I said, ‘What is this?’”Bridgesrecalled inaPBS interview.

“ThisislikenothingthatI’veeverdonebefore.Thisislike—didyoucrashoneofmyhighschoolparties?”Bridges shares the Dude’s counter-culture past, of course.

Alongwithsomanybright,floweringyoungmenandwomenofhisgeneration,he’ssmokedalotofweed(although,ironically,

hedidn’t tokewhile filming ),andhe’sprobablyhadhisfairshareofacidflashbacks.

GREATDUDESINTVANDFILMHISTORY

OurGreatDudeofFilm,JeffreyLebowski,isonlyoneofalong, laid-back lineof fictionalslackers loungingaroundinourpopcultureimagination.Here’sabriefsamplingofsomegreatTVandmoviedeadbeats thathavemadeuslaughtobeattheband.

MaynardG.Krebs,TheManyLovesofDobieGillis The “G” stood for “Walter” (seriously, it was asilent“G”),butitcouldalsostandfor“GreatDude.”Thisbeloved beatnik bongo bopper, who grew faint at themeremention of theword “work,” is probably the firstDudeish character to take it easy in the white-breadworldofearlyTVsitcoms.

Oddball,Kelly’sHeroes Although not one to dabblein pacifism, this proto-hippie tank commander never letthenegativeenergyofWorldWarIIorabunchoffuckingNazis interfere with drinking some wine, eating somecheese,andcatchingsomerays.

EasyReader,ElectricCompanyNeverwas learningto read so laid-back as when this Dude broke it downwith:“Toptobottom,lefttoright.Readingstuff isouttasight!”MorganFriedmanplayedthisrecurringHendrix-style hipsterwhose only goal in lifewas to read thingsandflirtwithPBSchicks.

Dr. Johnny Fever and Venus Flytrap, WKRP inCincinnatiThankstothisDude-likeDJduo,thefictionalcitizens of Cincinnati could rock ’n’ roll all day withJohnny Fever and mellow out overnight with VenusFlytrap’s funky grooves. Perhaps the only radio stationevertohavethatwholemusicalyin-yangthinggoingon.

Rev. Jim Ignatowski, Taxi A spaced-out ’60s sagewho’smoreDudethan Dudehimself.Yeah,Jimcouldbarely remember his name thanks to hismore-than-just

occasionalacidflashbacks,buthecoulddrivehomedeeptruths that his fellow cabbies (and the rest of us)weretoobusytopickup.

TyWebbandCarlSpackler,CaddyshackObviously,eachoftheseDudeswasagolfer.Tytherichguytaughtus tobe theball and to just take it easyonandoff thecourse;Carlthegroundskeeperabidedbyavoidingwork,eyeing the lady golfers, and combating his worthyfuckingadversary,theVarmintCong.

JeffSpicoli,FastTimesatRidgemontHighWhatisit with the name “Jeff ” and being a Dude? The patronsaintofallthingssurfing,Spicolisummedupourethosinthis perfectly pithy riposte to another character’ssuggestion that he get a job: “What for? All I need aresometastywaves,acoolbuzz,andI’mfine.”

Ferris Bueller, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off ThisrighteousDude quotedLennon’s “I am theWalrus” andbelievedinregularlytakingiteasybecause,asheputit,“Lifemovesprettyfast.Ifyoudon’tstopandlookaroundonceinawhile,youcouldmissit.”

LloydDobler,SayAnythingWhenhewasn’tbeingaborderline stalker, Lloyd lived the intentional Dude life.In between kickboxing bouts, he took it easy with hisbudsandspecial ladyfriends,andespousedtheDudeistcredo of refusing to “sell anything, buy anything, orprocessanythingasacareer.”For more on Great Dudes in History, please visit

dudeism.com/greatdudes.He and the Dude have other qualities in common, too,

rangingfromtheirself-effacing,down-to-earthmannertotheirultra-casual clothing (the jellies and other pieces of clothingworn by the Dude came right out of Bridges’ personalwardrobe).Beyond these similarities, though, Bridges shares many

important qualities with other Great Dudes in history we’veincludedhere.Whilebeingaself-confessed lazyman,Bridgesisalsooneofthemoststeadilyemployedactorsaround,dude-

icatinghimselfto,andpracticing,acrafthetrulydigs.From hismovie debut as an infant in 1951’s

to his performance as crotchety old RoosterCogburnintheCoens’remakeof (2010),Bridgeshasappeared inmorethan60 filmandTVproductionsacross thesands of time, with his wide repertoire including comedies,dramas,mysteries,sci-fi,cartoons,documentarynarration,andwhatever-have-you. It seems that -style adultentertainmentistheonlykindoffilmhehasn’tdone.BornintotheHollywoodsceneashewas(hismom,dad,and

brother were all famous actors), you’d think Bridges wouldhaveendedupakindof fragile, egomaniacalmovie starwithemotional problems. By all accounts, though, he’s extremelycooltoworkwithonthesetandisgenerousandfriendlywithcastandcrewalike.Perhaps it’s because he’s into some kind of Eastern thing

(specifically, Zen Buddhism) that Bridges apparently seesthrough the illusorynatureof stardomandrecognizes there’smuch more to life than waltzing around Tinseltown with abunch of fucking strumpets. Unlike the Dude of Film, whowasn’t much innerested in the whole matrimony/parentingthing,Bridgeshasalsobeenmarriedtohisspeciallady,Susan,formorethan30yearsandisadoting,lovingdadtohisthreedaughters.Beyondactingandhischerishedhomelife,Bridgesisapurty

goodartist,musician,andphotographerwhodevoteshis timeand talent to humanitarian causes like the End HungerNetworkhefoundedin1983.In short, he’s not only the Dude, he’s one heckuva Great

Dude, which puts him high in the running for Great DudeWorldwide. And because of that, we’re, on a personal level,reallyenormousfans.

AbidingLessons

JeffBridgeshas abided throughquite a fewcinematic strikes

(like ) andgutters ( ), and rolledonthroughitallwithanaffableauthenticitythatprovesniceguyscanfinishfirst.HereareafewofhisDudelyquotestoponderwhilewatching

hisfilmlibrary:Staycreativeinallyoudo.“When you start to engagewith your creative processes, it

shakes up all your impulses, and they all kind of inform oneanother.”When life’s abummer, look for the joy that’s still downtheresomewhere.“Sure,Igettheblues.ButwhatItrytodoisapplyjoytothe

blues,youknow?”Everythingiseverythingandkeepsonflowingon.“This idea of how everything is interconnected, and the

impermanence of things. It sums up the human condition tome,andithelpsmeonmypath.”We’reallinthistogether,man.“Why can’t we get together and make it a groovy trip for

everyone?”Whycan’twe,indeed?

THEBOOKOFREVOLUTIONS

DudeistProphecy

Thereasontheworldissofuckedupiswe’reundergoingevolution.Andthereason

ourinstitutions,ourtraditionalreligions,areallcrumbling,isbecause...they’renolongerrelevant.Soit’stimeforustocreateanewphilosophyandperhapsevenanewreligion,yousee.Andthat’sokay’causethat’sourright,’causewearefreechildrenofGodwithmindswhocanimagine

anything,andthat’skindofourrole.

There’s a lot of blathering these days about the end of theworldasweknowit,butwhenhasn’ttherebeen?It seems that folks in just about every generation believe

they’llbetheoneswhomakeittothefinalsofhumanhistory.Sometimestheythinkitwillbesomethingsecularornihilistic,likebackinthelate’90swhentheY2Kbugaboowasgoingtocausecivilizationtocollapse,orinthe’50sand’60swhenoneatomicbombthreatenedtoruinyourwholedayforever.Whenitcomestouptightthinkingabouttheendoftheworld,

though,secularapocalyptictheoristsareabunchofamateurswhen compared to what various religions believe is going tohappen.Mostreligions,beingconcernedwith thebigpicture,try togiveusa frameofreference forhowthiscosmicmovie

we’ve wandered into began (as in the ), andwhat’s going to happen before the final credits roll (such aswhatunfoldsinthe acidflashbackstory).

Smarty-pants theologians evenhaveanentire field of studydedicated to understanding the way a religion envisions howthe sands of time will run out, something they call“eschatology.” In the musty halls of theology departments,eschatologymeansthestudyoffinalthingslikedeath,thelastjudgment,humankind’sultimatedestiny,andwhatnot.There’salsoanotherlevelofmeaningyougetwhenyoubreaktheworddowntoitsroots:

•TheLatinphrase“e,”meaning“outof,”(asin),plus

•Thegutturalword“scat”(anotherwordfor“shit”),plus•Thesuffix“-ology”(“thestudyof”)

Allofwhichgivesyou,ifyousquintyoureyesjustright:“The

studyofscaringtheshitoutofpeople.”That definition certainly applies to a lot of what’s called

prophecy,anyway.For centuries, people around theworld have loved to scare

the shit out of each other with cryptic divinations about theEnd Times—from ancient Norse Pagans spooking themselveswith the tale of (the cataclysmic final battle of thegods that would do to the universe what Jackie Treehorn’sthugsdidtotheDude’sbungalow)—tothelucrativefranchise dramatizingwhat someChristians call theRapture,with Kirk Cameron’s performance in the series’ film trilogyleavingmanyviewerswishingtheworld endsoon.Of course, a religion’s eschatology isn’t always scary. On a

metaphorical level in most apocalyptic stories, Good goesmano-a-mano with Evil. After Good prevails over its worthyfucking adversary, it creates a new, purified world whereeveryone(whosurvives)willkickbackforalleternity.Lotsofpeopletakecomfortinthatvision,whichisoneofthe

tasks that prophetic scripture hopes to achieve—that is,reassure believers that even when it looks as though thegoddamn plane has hit themountain, don’t freak out, it’s allgoing to be cool in the end…God or What-Have-You is incontrol,andaslongasyou’renotrollingwithabunchofcreepsand you don’t contravene the holy by-laws, you’ll be amongthosewhowinthetournamentattheendofleagueplay.That take-it-easymetaphor is oftenovershadowed,however,

bythescaryliteralconnectionspeoplemakebetweenourtimeand place and apocalyptic texts. When reading propheticwritings, a lot of people don’t focus the ultimately hopefulvisionthatthisancientliterarygenreoffers.Allsomebelieverssee is a bad moon on the rise and trouble on the way, toparaphraseabettersingerthaneitherofus.

MayanIsNotthePreferredNomenclature…Meso-American,Please

Consider all the fuss these days over the ancient Mayancalendar.Therearealotoffolkswhofearthatbecauseitendsin December 2012 the calendar suggests that some kind ofcataclysmic, disaster-movie ending for the world is headingtowardus.Notthatyoucanblamethemforseeingitthatway.It seems that this thing we call Western civilization iscollapsingfromexhaustionallaroundus.Withglobalwarming,economic breakdown, wars, and social upheaval, it’s easy tobelievethathumanityisincreasinglyoutofitselement.SoitsureisplausibletoseetheMayancalendarasacosmic

alarmclocksettogooffsoon, lettingeveryoneknowthattheparty’sover,oops,outtatime,asPrinceoncesang.Such a gloom-and-doom interpretation makes for a good

blockbustermovieplotorasuccessfulcareerintelevangelism(where“prophet”isoftenconfusedwith“profit”),36butitdoeslittletohelpusabide.Infact,itdoesjusttheopposite.A feller by thenameof JohnMajor Jenkins, however, has a

more abiding take on what the Mayan calendar is really allabout.HavingstudiedMayanreligionabitmorein-depththanyouraverageHollywoodscreenwriterorprofit-drivenprophet,Jenkinsassertsthatthecalendarisn’tadoomsdayclockatall.Instead, he believes its abrupt end in 2012 marks thebeginningofapositivetransformationinhumanconsciousness.Therearealotofinsandoutsandeschatologicalstrandsto

keep together in our heads with Jenkins’ interpretation.Basically, though,he says thatMayan cosmologybelieves oursunwill alignwith the heart of our galaxy during thewintersolstice of 2012. Jenkins says the shamanic stargazers ofMayan culture, who were amazingly advanced in theirunderstandingofhowthecelestialsandsoftimeflow,centeredtheirentirecalendararoundthisepochalevent.AccordingtoMayanmyth, thesolar/galacticalignmentdoes

signify an ending, but it’s the ending of an uptight age ofselfishnessinwhichhumanbeingsarewoefullyoutofbalancewith ourselves, with each other, with nature, and with theuniverse (sound familiar?). In true yin-yang fashion, thecalendaralsomarksthebeginning…theinitiationofanew,laid-

back era, one in which humanity has a chance to reconnectwith our Eternal Source—what we Dudeists call the DudeWay.37IfJenkins’theoryistrue,whoknows?Maybe2012won’tbe

our final curtain call after all.Maybe it’s the dawning of theAgeofAbidingUs.

OurRevelationIsNotOver

Regardlessofwhatpropheticframeofreferenceyouhave,wecan’t help butwonderwhether prophecy even has a place intheChurchof theLatter-DayDude.Afterall, in thecinematicsourceofourworldview,

•Therereally isno finalconfrontationbetweenGoodandEvil…WeneverevengettoseetheDudeandWalterbowltheJesusandLiamintheplay-offs.

• No one is trying to scare the shit out of anyone. Ifanything, its laid-back folksiness hopes everyone willlaughtobeatthebandwhentheywatchit.

•Nothingiswrappedupandnoneweraispromised.Lifejustgoeson,man.

may not fit the traditional propheticnomenclature,butwestillbelieveithasanimportantpropheticfunction in Dudeism. Other religions have their propheticstories,andwehaveours.Onlyourstory isn’tallhunguponfiguring outwhat happens in the End Times; we’re all aboutrememberinghowtolivetherightwayinTheseHereTimes.Believe it or not, that’swhatmany religious prophetswere

reallyallabout,too.If we understand it correctly, these guys weren’t running

around tellingeveryonewhatdire thingsaregoing tohappeninafewthousandyears.LikeDudeistprophetBillHicks,theylooked around and saw that their traditional religious andpolitical institutionswerenolongerrelevanttotherealneeds

of their communities. Many prophets were actually trying torevive old forgotten truths about life among people living innewcircumstances.The Jewish prophet Isaiah reminded phony religious

achieversthat,todowhatGodreallywants,theyneedtotakecareofsociety’smarginalizedbums.JesusofNazarethdidhisshareoftalkingabouttheEndTimes,buthealsohadnoideawhen itwouldhappen. Instead,heseemedmore interested inkickingtherichfucksoutofthetemple,gettingpeopletostopworryingsomuch,andencouragingeveryone tobemore likethe liliesof thefield(whicharen’tknownfortheirexhaustinglifestyle).Thiskindofpropheticfunctionisn’tjustlimitedtoanancient

Jewish-Christian context. Buddha felt that more than 1,000years of Hindu tradition and practice had become toocomplicated and was no longer releasing folks from theirstressed-out suffering. He reminded everyone thatenlightenmentdidn’tinvolveabunchofrituals,deprivation,orself-indulgence…it was really all about just sitting down andmindfullyrelaxing.In politics too, people like Thomas Paine are credited with

lightinguprevolutionswiththeirpropheticrhetoric.Painesawprophetsas inspiredpoetswhowerechecking in to seewhatspiritual/politicalconditiontheircommunity’sconditionwasin.Following their lead in the political arena, he remindedoppressed subjects of out-of-touch monarchies that they arereally free individuals capable of creating a new and morerelevantworldforthemselveswithouttheRoyalWe.Even scientists can serveaprophetic function in reminding

us who we really are in the grand scheme of things. Whenastronomer Carl Sagan saw a photo of Earth taken by theVoyagerspaceprobefromnearSaturn,hereflectedonhowthesmallness of this lonely speck, surrounded by the deep,vastnessofspace,“underscoresourresponsibilitytodealmorekindlywithoneanother,andtopreserveandcherishthepalebluedot,theonlyhomewe’veeverknown.”Like a true prophet, Sagan’s view is far-out and down-to-

earthallatthesametime.

TheBigLebowskiandtheThreeR’sofProphecy

The prophetic role, therefore, is an ongoing, evolutionaryprocess thatmanifests itself invariousways…including in theformofamovie.So in what way is our Sacred Source prophetic? Well,

according to what we’ve laid out here, the prophetic roleconsists of these three R’s: of a forgotten truth,

people of this forgotten truth, andtheir consciousness by making the forgotten truth relevantagain.

• :InJuly1998,themovie wasreleased.ItsstoryabouttheimpendingdoomofagiantasteroidhurtlingtowardEarth,combinedwithitsallusiontotheBiblicalfinalbattlebetweenGoodandEvil tappedintotheanxietypeoplefeltabouttheloomingnewmillennium.Afewmonthsbefore,

hadappeared,reassuringeveryonethatitwastimetojusttakeiteasy,man.Lifewillgoon.

wastheyear’stop-grossingmovie,whilewasconsideredaflop.Justgoesto

showhowprophetsarerarelypopularwhentheyfirstarriveonthescene.

• :Eventhough didn’tfarewellwhenitfirstcameout,itseternal,laid-backethosslowlybegantoresonateinanuptight,multitaskingworld,remindingpeoplethatabidingisreallywhatlifeisallabout.

• :It’sbeenmorethanadecadesinceappeared.Inthattime,ithaslitaworldwide

relaxolutioninconsciousnessthatisredefininghowweliveaccordingtoabidingtruthsinTheseHereTimes.ItdoesthisthroughannualLebowskiFests,Dudeism’sDay

oftheDudecelebrationsonMarch6,andbyjustkickingbackandenjoyingtheproverbialride.

After all, it is just a ride. That’swhatBillHicks called life:onebigride.Andheprophesiedthatwecanchangethenatureof that rideany timewewant.We justneed to loosenupourthinking,stopdraggingaroundournegativeenergy,andtrustthattheuniverseisn’ttryingtoscamanyonehere.Iguessthat’swhywefindHickssodurninneresting.He could rant and rave like Walter, but he was basically

pretty Dude-like in his outlook. He said, “Fuck it” to all thebullshit generated by those he condemned as “fevered egosthataretaintingourcollectiveunconsciousandmakinguspayahigherpsychicpricethanweimagine.”Insteadofscaringtheshit out of us, hemadeus laughour asses off.Ultimately, hecalledonustofindalittlebitofheavenrighthereandnowbycreatingabetterrideforeveryone,onewhereweall“explorespacetogether,bothinnerandouter,forever,inpeace.”ThatsoundsalotlikeDudeism’sanswerforeverythingtoo.Whynotjoinusfortheride?The story may be ludicrous, but we can imagine where it

goesfromheretogether.Ifwewillit,itisnodream.

DUDEISTMOVEMENTS

DudeismDownThroughtheAges

JusthowoldisDudeism?Wehereat theChurchof theLatter-DayDudehaveargued

thatithasexistedinoneformoranothersincebeforethedawnofhumancivilization.Supportingourtheorywasarecentdiscoveryofahugestash

ofkillerdoobagefoundinthe2,700-year-oldtombofanancientCaucasianshaman inwhat’snowmodernChina.No less thanthree quarters of a kilowere found buriedwith the sorcerer,ostensibly tohelp keephim in agroovy frameofmind in theafterlife.Ofcourse,ancientdudesdidn’thavetodiefacedowninthe

muck to make use of the blessed herbal enhancement.According to Greek historian Herodotus, Iranian nomadsroamed around in the first millennium B.C., tossing bales ofmarijuana onto large bonfires, letting the clouds of smokeengulfthem.Talkaboutgettingacontacthigh.TheDudeistethos,though,goesbeyondlightingupa jayor

breathing in smoke from a ganja bonfire. In contrast to theuptightandsuperficiallifethatsocietyoftendemandswelive,theDudeWayisreallyaboutlivinganauthenticlifethatgrowsnaturallyfromalaid-backsensibility.We believe this sensibility, as part of the essential human

spirit, has wafted across the sands of time inmany differentforms, sometimes prompted by THC consumption, but most

often inspiredby that inherentneedpeoplehave to shrugoffuptightthinkingandjusttakeiteasywitheachother.Oneofthemostrecentmanifestationsofthatneed,ofcourse,

hasbeenthegrowingcultaround .Hereareafewother literalconnectionswe’vemadebetweenhistoricalmovementsandtheongoingrelaxolution.

THEAXIALAGE800–200BCE

Nottobeconfusedwiththe“AxlRoseAge,”inthe1980s,whenthere was a lamentable regression in human civilization, theAxial Age marked a dramatic shift forward in humanconsciousness around the world. During this time, lots ofpeopledecidedtostoplivinginthefuckingpastandbegantoseekanewandvitalspiritualitygroundedinthehereandnow.Many fresh manifestations of the Dude Way emerged

simultaneously around the world in the Axial Age. Lao-Tzu,Buddha, and the folks who wrote the Upanishads allcontributed to creating some kind of Eastern thing in Chinaand India; the prophet Isaiah was railing against the socialinjustice caused by rich fucks and real reactionaries inPalestine; and Heraclitus and other philosophers werepondering the nature of being and nothingness in ancientGreece.Generationslater,we’reabunchofreligiousdeadbeats,still

freeloading off the achievements of that transformative age.Ironically enough, what began as fluid new ways ofunderstanding the cosmos and our place in it has mostlycalcifiedintorigid,uptightsky-godthinkingagain.Maybe it’s time for a new Dudeist sequel to the Axial

Age… ??

SUFISM7THCENTURYCE–PRESENT

While itwasn’tpartof theAxialAge, Islamushered inanewreligiousunderstandingofhowbesttomakeittothefinals.Inthe7thcentury,theprophetMuhammad’srevelationhelpedtounifyvarioustribalgroupsacrossthesandsofArabiaintoonebiground-robin.Notexactlyalightweight.However, not long afterMuhammad’s death in 632CE, the

fellers in Islam’s league office got all wrapped up in worldlyachievementsandenforcing scripturalby-laws.Sufidervishescamewhirlingalongandremindedthemthattheycan’tworryaboutallthatshit.Life’stooshort.JusttakeiteasyandrestintheecstasyofonenesswithAllah.OneofthebestknownoftheseSufidudeswasaDudefrom

Afghanistan by the name of Jalal ad-Muhammad Balkhi, whocalled himself “The Roman” (or, in the parlance of his times,Rumi). The zesty references he made in his poetry to layingaround,drinkingwine,andhavingcoitusraisedtheireofsome

Islamicreactionaries.Even today, some uptightMuslims don’t dig Rumi’s (or the

Sufis’)style.Butwe,onapersonallevel,reallytakecomfortinit.

TROUBADOURS12TH–13THCENTURIES

A long timebeforeCreedenceClearwaterRevival roamed theearth, traveling musician-poets toured parts of Europeperforming new songs for the medieval masses. Theseprotorock stars traveled from village to village and fed themonkey by entertaining common folks and nobility alikewiththeir epic ballads about love, heroes, and other entertainingshtuff.Playingtheirsecularizedsongsbefore largecrowdsat fairs,

weddings, and other celebrations (and singing in MiddleEnglishtoo,insteadofLatin),thesetroubadudesbrightenedupthe Dark Ages by spreading a festive, take-it-easy vibe andnudgingmedievalsocietyawayfromajoylessfeudalculture.Some real reactionaries in the Church, along with the

bubonic plague, stymied theirmovement for awhile, but thetroubadourrevolutionwasfarfromover.Astheprevalenceofpopmusicoverthepastcenturyattests,theirDudelybeatgoeson.Payingcredence to thisnotion,oneof themost importantmusical flashpoints of the ’60s music revolution was called“TheTroubadour.”

ROMANTICISM18TH–20THCENTURIES

Compared to the Middle Ages’ feudalism and superstitiousreligiosity, the Age of Enlightenment, industrialism, and thescientific revolutionweregood things.Partsanyway.Thecoldrationalismandsocialupheaval thatalsoemerged from thesemovements, however, left a lot of folks’ lives with no

emotionallymeaningfulframeofreference.From the end of the 18th century on through to the early

20th, the Romantic movement really tied Western culturetogetherbyinvestingitwithstory,productionvalues… .As precursors to Maude Lebowski and Knox Harrington,

theseRomanticdudesredefinedthevisualartsasameansofpersonal expression; they established musical traditions thatwouldultimatelyresultinthelikesofBobDylanandAutobahn;they influenced revolutionary political movements that wouldinspire the Dude and six other guys to become the SeattleSeven; and as innovative literary narrators, they could tell apurtygoodstoryjustliketheCoens.Yeah, Walter’s sick Cynthia thing can also be found in

Romanticism’s overwrought emotionalism (just read Goethe’s). But overall, themovement’s

legacy bestowed to Dudeism the precious gift of one of ourmost basic tenets: slowing down, savoring the here and now,andcreativelyfollowingyourheart.Now, isn’t that Romantic? Love, in the Dude sense of the

word.

THELUDDITESEARLY18THCENTURY

Once there was a group of folks who were inspired by afictitious character to slow down and live more naturallyhumanlives.No,we’renottalkingaboutDudeismhere,butagroup that gets a bad rap these days, a group known as theLuddites.Now, “Luddite.” That’s not a namemost peoplewould self-

apply today, mainly because a Luddite is viewed as someonewhodoesn’tshareJackieTreehorn’senthusiasmfortechnology.In fact, the word usually refers to technophobeswho oppose(sometimesviolently)industrialprogress.Butthat’sjust,like,high-techmodernity’sopinion,man.The word “Luddite” dates back to the early years of

England’s industrial revolution. Textile workers who rebelled

against the mechanization of their times rallied around aworking-classherobythenameofNedLudd.Accordingtoonelegend,Luddwaswhippedoneday for idleness, sohe tookahammerandsmashedthehelloutofsometextilemachinesinretaliation.Doyouseewhathappenswhenyoufloganidlerwithalash?RegardlessofwhetherLuddactuallyexisted,textileworkers

whosewayoflifewasthreatenedbyindustrialismfollowedhisexample and wrecked hundreds of weavingmachines aroundEngland.Theiraggressionmayseemun-Dude,but theLudditeswere

resistingtheindustrialistimpulsetohavetheirhumanity,intheparlanceofBobDylan,turnedintosomemachine.That’sveryDudelyindeed.

TRANSCENDENTALISM19THCENTURY

Transcendentalism is a big word for a movement that wasreally all about simplicity. Simplicity in religion (God is notapart from us; we are all God); simplicity in living(livingdeliberatelyinthemomentandinharmonywithnature);andsimplicityin…uh,losingyourego’strainofthought.A Unitarian minister and writer in Boston by the name of

Ralph Waldo Emerson got the Transcendentalist ball rollingback in the 1830s as a middle way between the reactionaryCalvinistsandtheintellectuallyuptightUnitarians.Becausehethought both groups preached compulsively and without joy,Emerson left theministryandhungout inEurope forawhilewithabunchofhis compeers in theRomanticmovement.Hewas also one of the first Americans to get into some kind ofEastern thing after reading newly translated Hindu andBuddhistsacredtexts.Emersonwrappedupalltheseinfluencesintoonephilosophy

thaturgedeveryonetostopwavingdeadtheologiesaroundandtoabideinwhathecalledtheOversoul,orthecosmicrugthatreallytieseveryoneandeverythingtogether.

Indoingso,hehelpedtocreateawholenewAmericanethosthatbasicallysays:Ifyouwillit,dudes,itisnodream.AgreatdealofAmerica’ssocialreformcanbesaidtohavecometousdirectlyfromEmerson,downthroughthepages.

UTOPIANS19THCENTURY

Remember those heady days when people dropped out ofsquaresocietytojoincounter-culturalcommunesandgetbackto the land, experiment with communism, and practice freelove?Yeah,the1800ssurewereprettytrippytimes,weren’tthey?That’swhenanumberof “utopian”communitiespoppedup

around America. One of the most successful of theseexperimentsinalternativelivingwastheOneidaColonyinNewYork, where they practiced something called “BibleCommunism.” Everyone shared everything: the work (whichincluded making silverware that Oneida Ltd. still producestoday),theprofitsoftheirlabor(noonehadtogolookingforacashmachine),andeveneachother(everyonehelpedeveryonetoconceive).Not all utopian communities were into the whole free love

thing(infact,somewerecelibate),buttheyalldidsharewithOneida a deep sense of utopian idealism. Thatwas cool untilthey started looking for some kind of perfectly idealized liferemovedfromtheworld’smessycomplexities.AsmostoftheseVictorianhippies(andtheirmoderncompeers)learned,though,thereisnoperfectlyidealizedtimeandplace.Afterall,“utopia”literallymeans“noplace.”TheDudeshowsthatnomatterhowmessyandcomplexthe

worldmaybe,youhavetolearntojusttakeiteasyinthe“nowhere.”Thesearchforaperfectutopiaonlyleavesyounowhere.Andthat’sabummer,man.That’sabummer.Becausethisis

quiteapadwe’vegothere.

HUMANISM20THCENTURY

SomefolkswouldhaveyoubelievethatallourtroublescanbetracedbacktowhenAdamandhisspecialladyfriendEvewereevictedfromtheirtotallyunspoiledpadinGod’sgardenparty.Consequently, humankind is fallen and needs to get back ingoodstandingwiththeBigGuy.Humanism, on the other hand, believes that human beings

have evolved over the eons to a point where we have thecapacity for self-realization and for taking care of each otherrighthereandnowwithoutchopperin’insupernaturalhelp.Tracing their movement back to ancient philosophers like

Socrates(whoencouragedpeopletothinkforthemselves)andConfucius(whothoughtitwaspossibletocreateasocietythattakes care of basic human needs),Humanists think humanitycan develop its own meaningful frame of reference throughscience,thearts,andnon-theisticspirituality.Theyalsobelieve theworldprovidesuswithall thenatural

resourcesweneedtoassistusonourjourneyofcreativeself-discovery. Scientist and great Humanist Carl Sagan, forexample,foundDudelyinspirationinfiringupthenaturebasedcontentofa jayashedugthebillionsandbillionsofwhatnotoutthereinthecosmosandhereonearth.38ForHumanists,then,wewereneverkickedoutofthegarden

party. It’s still going on here all around us. We just need tolearn how to tend to it better together and abide in theplentifulbountyitcanprovideforeveryone.

THEDIGGERS1960s

Unlike the trendy hippie styles that became part of themainstream in the ’60s, this anarchist collective of artists,poets, and actors weren’t hung up on making fashionstatements.Theywereallaboutlivingasfreemenandwomen.Appearing in San Francisco’s Haight-Ashbury district in

1966, the Diggers took their name from a group of radicalfarmers who rejected money and private property in 17th-century England. The San Francisco Diggers revived theoriginal Diggers’ spirit in their time and place by rejecting amodern system ruled by “those who would kill us throughdumbwork,insanewars,[anda]dullmoneymorality.”Unlike the Utopians, though, the Diggers didn’t seclude

themselves in serene, bucolic settings. They took theirrevolutionary, laid-back vibe directly to the streets of SanFrancisco and created new ways to provide free healthcare,free food,and freeclothes toanyonewhoneeded them.Theyalso staged free community concerts, spontaneous streetcelebrations,andarthappenings.The Man couldn’t absorb the potency of the Digger

movement the way he did with the Beats and hippies, whichmaybewhytheDiggersarelargelyforgottentodaybyofficialhistory. But with all the dumb work, insane wars, and dullmoneymorality coming to light in our society today, perhapsthe time is ripe for a new generation to dig the style of theDiggersonceagain.

SLOWMOVEMENT1980s–PRESENT

Therearemanymovements fromthepast30yearsorsothatwecouldciteasexamplesofacalltoliveanoverallDude-likeway.Becausewe’reintothewholebrevitything,though,it’seasy

enough towrap themall upas compeers of something calledtheSlowMovement. It began in the ’80swith aDudeby thenameofCarloPetrini,wholedacampaigntostopaMcDonaldsfromopeninginRome.Itwasn’tjustRonaldMcDonaldhehadabeefwith, itwastheentirein-and-out,fast-foodculturethatcamealongwiththecorporateclown.Petrini’s Slow Food movement was all about slowing down

and taking time to prepare and savor local and organicallygrown foodwith your friends. Over the years, themovement

hasspreadtoallaspectsof life, fromworktoparenting, fromtraveltofashion,frommediatoreligion(suchasYoursDudely).Far frombeingreactionary, theSlowMovement isallabout

reclaiming a more humane and satisfying quality of life thatwe’ve lost in our civilization’s ever-increasing speedof-soundpace.What’s thegoodofprogressandtechnology,afterall, ifwe’reallrunningaroundlikeabunchofstressed-outassholes?Back in the ’60s, thehippierallyingcrywas“Turnon, tune

in,dropout.”Today,theSlowMovementinvitesusallto“Slowdown,chillout,enjoylife.”Orinourpreferrednomenclature:“Abide.”

CREATINGAMOREDUDE-OCRATICSOCIETY

ThePoliticsoftheDude

fitswithinmany cinematic genres. Broadlyspeaking,it’sconsideredacomedy/crime/mystery,butit’salsocalledabuddymovie,a spoofofRaymondChandler’s

, a stoner flick, and it even has elements ofWesterns,BusbyBerkeley-stylemusicals,andporn.Butapoliticalfilm?Now,that’snotagenremostcriticsand

fanswherewecome fromwouldapply to .It’s not because themovie lacks political references, though.With George H. W. Bush’s assertion that Saddam Hussein’saggressionwould not stand,Walter’s hawkish and libertarianrantsaboutVietnamandtheFirstAmendment,andallusionstotheDude’spastasastudentradicalinthe’60s,thefilmoffersahodgepodge of American political sensibilities from the latterhalfofthe20thcentury.It’s becauseof this jumbleof references, however, that this

postmodern cult classic seems to have no coherent politicalframe of reference. Many overtly political films (like FrankCapra’s ) dramatize a clearpolitical agenda. How can such a disjointed narrative as

haveapoliticalpointofview,withitsstupefyingarrayofnihilists,reactionaries,feminists,blatheringburnouts,and volatile veterans rolling through the plot like tumblingtumbleweeds?Although the film doesn’t present an overt declaration, or

manifesto, or whatever you call it, the boys down in thepolitical science lab at the Church of the Latter-Day Dudebelieve they have found some leads for an unspoken politicalmessage in . It’s amessage thatmight justhelpusascitizensinthesefractioustimesformamoreperfectunion, establish justice, promote domestic tranquility, andprotectourbasicfreedoms.

Well, at thevery least, itwill helpusall just take it a littlemoreeasythesedays.Andthatcanbedownrightrevolutionaryinuptighttimeslikethese.

“The’90sArethe’60sStandingonTheirHead”—WavyGravy

TheDudemaynot bewhat’s typically seen as a hero, but as main character, he most likely embodies

thefilm’scorepolitics,assumingithasany.Theonly trouble is,at firstglance, theDudeseems tohave

nolucidpoliticalphilosophy…nothingbeyondpacifism,anyway.In fact, on first impression, the Dude seems like little morethan a befuddled burnout, an unemployed beach bum, anapatheticslacker.Though there may be nothing inherently wrong with these

traits,aviablepoliticalethostheydonotmake.Ordothey?Tosome,theDudemaybejustaVeniceBeachdeadbeatthat

the square community doesn’t give a shit about. To others,however, like the cowboyStrangerwho introduceshim tous,theDudehappenstobethemanforhistimes.Hefitsrightinthere, apparently, and exemplifies something—a certain

ifyouwill—thatuniquelyepitomizeshismoment.Butwhatisthatsomething?Howdoesitfitintohismoment?

In order to understand the Dude’s politics, it’s important tounderstand just what that something is. And to understandthat,wehavetounderstandthetimeandplacehefitrightinto.According to theStranger, thestoryheunfolds forus takes

placeinLosAngelesaroundthetimeofourfirstconflictwithSaddamandtheEye-rackies.It’spossiblyonorsometimeafterAugust 6, 1990, since that’s when Bush made his statementaboutSaddam’saggressionagainstKuwaitnotstanding.AsidefromthewarcloudsgatheringinthePersianGulfatthetime,America was politically and culturally adrift between twopolitical eras: TheReagan/Bush ’80swere limping to a close,whileClinton’sdecade,whenthePresidentwouldmeetMonicaLewinskyandgolookingforacashmachine,wasyettocome.Duringthisfluxed-upperiod,thereseemedtobeashiftinthe

culturalwinds aswell, a change similar towhat happened in

the1960sbutwiththepotentialtobeevenmoresystemicallyjolting.In Seattle, for instance, Kurt Cobain39 and Nirvana were

about to deliver a grungy shock to stale corporate rock thatwould shake the music scene more fiercely than the lovableBeatlesdid.Emergingfroma mushroomcloudintheSouthwest,acomediandressedinblacknamedBillHickswassavagelylambastingsociety’shypocrisiesandpretentionswitha devastatingwit that probably would have left Lenny Brucelaughingtobeattheband.And inLosAngelesCounty, therewas themythicalDude in

hisbathrobe,sniffingacartonofcreamerinthedairyaisleatRalphs.What do these personages from the early ’90s have in

common?Well,that’swhatwewanttotellyouabout.

GiveMeLibertyor…Hell,LostMyTrainofThought

The ’60s, as a phenomenon, has become cliché and evensomethingofajoke.Beyond the classic rock that still has staying power today,

when we think of the counter-culture of that era, images ofstoned, goldbricking hippies dancing around in parks maycometomind,alongwithshaggy-hairedradicalsprotesting inthestreetsandoccupyingcollegeadministrationbuildings.That may have been what the millionaire Jeffrey Lebowski

thoughtwhenhe first saw theDude, anyway. There, strollingcasually and disheveled into his study was, for the BigLebowski,thelivingembodimentofthe’60s.Asharmlessandas unassuming as the Dude may seem to us, to a blusteringReaganite like the millionaire Lebowski what the Duderepresentedwasnoclichéanditwascertainlynojoke.In his laid-back carelessness, El Duderino’s appearance

posed a real revolutionary threat to everything the Big

Lebowskibelievedin(andbenefittedfrom)sinceReagancameto power in 1980. In the millionaire’s glowering eyes, theDude’s long hair and uppity, something-for-nothing demandsmust havebrought backmemories of the ’60s rebellion. Thatwouldaccount for themillionaire’shostility toward theDude,anditexplainswhytheoldmanstartsyellingfornoapparentreasonthattheDude’s“revolution”isoverwhentheDudewasjusttalkingabouthisrug.Obviously, thebona fide revolution that rocked theworld in

the 1960s apparently still threatened the Big Lebowski. Andwithgoodreason—theDude’sgenerationshooktheworldbackthen.Manymembersofthisgeneration(alongwithdisaffectedmembers of older generations) joinedwhat’s been called TheGreat Refusal. This movement, consisting of many looselyaffiliated examples of social unrest, was basically a massrejection of the stifling corporatist ethos of the 1950s. Itwanted to eliminate that era’s rigid race, class, and genderhierarchy; militarism; powerful corporations; mass marketingandconsumerism;andaprevailingsenseofdepersonalization.A new generation coming of age in the ’60s rejected that

grey-flannel conformity and envisioned a better society, onerooted in themoreradicalaspectsof theAmericanrevolutionheraldedby the likes of ThomasPaine. “Thiswas a period ofunbridled optimismand enthusiasmamong student activists,”accordingtoMartinLeeandBruceShlain’s .“TheColdWarhadfinallythawed,andmanywereeagertoflextheirpolitical muscle for a variety of issues: civil rights,disarmament,universityreform,andsoforth.Nothinglessthanawholesaletransformationofsocietywasthoughttobeintheoffing.”Therebellion,asTheodoreRoszakpointsoutin

, emerged from two sometimes conflictingpopular movements: the politically oriented New Left, whichbasically sought a broader, more direct form of democracy(“Power to the People”); and the social/cultural revolution ofthe Beats and the hippies, who were all about discoveringpersonalmeaningthrough individual liberation(“Doyourown

thing”).Despite such high aspirations and noble intentions, though,

the’60srevolutionlostitstrainofthought.Asthedecadeworeon, political assassinations, factional infighting, violentreactionary backlash, that whole COINTEL-PRO thing, self-indulgence, and cooption by the square culture took a heavytoll on themovement’syouthful idealismandenergy.Nothingchanges.But for a moment there, with the free-speech movement,

legislative triumphs of the civil rights movement, and otherculture-transformingadvances,thetimes,theydidseemtobea-changin’. Far from shooting blanks, that generation wasactuallyplantingseeds: theseedsofmodern feminism,sexualfreedom, civil rights for allminorities, and the environmentalmovement. You could say that the ’60s started a SlowMovementthat’sstillgoingon.And theDude,well, hewould have been right there at the

heartof itall,driftingsomewherebetweenNewLeftactivismandBeat-hipbohemianism.In fact, itwastheDudewhodangneargottherevolutionrolling,ifweunderstanditcorrectly.

StudentforaDudeistSociety

ThemythicalDudeofFilm,JeffreyLebowski,isbasedonaveryrealDudeofHistory,afellerbythenameofJeffDowd.40Dowd,amovieproducerfriendoftheCoenBrothers,served

as the inspiration for thecinematicDude in severalways:Hehas self-applied thename“Dude” sincehewasakid;hedigsbowlingand imbibingWhiteRussians;andhewas theSeattleSeven…well,heandsixotherguys(actually,oneoftheSevenwasaladyfriend).Afterananti-VietnamWarprotest theyorganized inSeattle

turnedviolent,membersoftheSeattleSevenwerearrestedin1970andchargedwith conspiracy to incitea riot.TheSevenbelonged to a protest group at the University of Washington

calledtheSeattleLiberationFront(SLF),whichwasaffiliatedwith the radical anti-war Weather Underground faction. TheWeathermen,astheyalsocalledthemselves(afteraBobDylanlyric),emergedafterStudents foraDemocraticSociety (SDS)disintegratedintochaosin1969.Beforeitscollapse,SDShadgalvanizedwhatbecameknown

as theNewLeft in theearly ’60swithamanifestocalled. This document was for that decade’s

youth rebellion what Jefferson’sor Thomas Paine’s was for the Americanrevolution:aclarioncall,onlythisonemobilizedagenerationto fightoppressionandracism,endwar,andmakeAmericaamorehumane,egalitariansociety.AlthoughDowdhadnothing to dowithwriting any draft of

the Statement, compromised or otherwise, he was, like somany in his generation, profoundly inspired by it—hence hisinvolvement with SDS and SLF. In many ways, Dowd’sfreewheelingactivismanddedicationto livingacreative,self-determined lifepersonifieswhat theStatementdefinedas thepurposeoflife:the“ancient,stillunfulfilledconceptionofmanattainingdetermininginfluenceoverhiscircumstancesoflife.”That’s the literal connection between the Dude and the

anarchicspiritof the ’60s. It’salsowhywe think itmade theoverachieving,millionaire Jeffrey Lebowski so uptight. As thesands of time were burying the Big Lebowski’s belovedreactionary’80s,rightthereinhisoppressivelycleanmansionsattheabiding,slovenlyepitomeofthe’60srevolutionwearingawrinkledhoodie,T-shirt,andshorts.Andonaweekday,too.

QuestfortheDude’sUncompromisedPortHuronDraft

Asthemythicalauthoroftheuncompromiseddraftof, the Dude represents the purest essence of

the political values that shaped the ’60s. In reality, though, afoundingmemberofSDSnamedTomHaydenwastheonewhowrotethebulkoftheStatement.AccordingtoHayden:“In the movie , the aging, stoned hippie

playedbyJeffBridgesannouncesthathehelpedwritethePortHuron Statement. We don’t remember the ‘Dude’ beingthere…”Now,Mr.Hayden,arewegoingtosplithairshere?DidLaoTzureallypenthe ?Wasthereactually

ahistoricalJesuswhorolledfromNazareth?WasBobDylanthemaninRobertZimmermanorwasittheotherwayaround?Well,dudes,wejustdon’tknow.What we do know is that the Dude of Film was definitely

there in spirit asHaydenandhisSDScompeerspoundedouttheirgeneration-definingstatementinPortHuron.We’veneverbeen more certain of anything in our lives. Knowing that, isthere a way to discern from the existing document what theDude’sfirstdraftmighthavebeenhadheactuallywrittenit?Ifso, are there any political lessons from theDude’s draft thatarestillrelevantforustoday?To find an answer to these questions, we used something

similartothedeconstructivemethodologyoftheJesusSeminarto identify fragments in Hayden’s text that could have beenfromtheDude’slost,uncompromisedfirstdraft.41

UncompromisedDraft1

Inthisversion,weidentifiedstatementsfromHayden’soriginaldocumentthatreflectkeyaspectsofwhatweknowabouttheDude’spoliticalviewsin .TheDudewasopposedtotreatingobjectslikewomen.Hayden’s Version:

While the Dude dismisses the millionaire Lebowski’soverinflated sense of power, he draws from a deeper,more compassionate, and more authentic source of

power.Hayden’s Version:

TheDudewasapacifist.Hayden’s Version:

The Dude was his own person, as unimpressed by theselfimportance of others as he was unconcerned aboutwhatothersthoughtofhim.Hayden’s Version:

Theseinspiringwordsreflectvaluesthatayoung,idealistic,

pre-Thai stick Dude could very well have written had heexisted. But that’s just, like, our opinion, man. While thesensibilitiesexpressedarecertainlyDudeistinspirit,weadmittheyseemabitwordyandramblingforsomeoneliketheDude,pre-orpost-Thaistickinhalation.So cutting from the document anything that seemed too

verbose for someonewho uses as few non-cusswords as theDude does, we came up with the following essential version,alsofoundinHayden’soriginal.

UncompromisedDraft2

Thatsentencejustaboutwrapsitallup,doesn’tit?It’s easy to imagine a youngDude back in ’61 scribbling it

down,tossingittohismoreideologicallydrivencompeers,andcruising over to the Port Huron bowling alley to roll a fewframesandenjoyapitcherofcheapbeer.Inthemidstofaburgeoningrevolution,weimaginetheDude

would have said, paraphrasing words attributed to EmmaGoldman:“IfIcan’tabide,Idon’twanttobeinyourrevolution,man.”

ADuderWorldIsPossible

Aswepointedoutinthebeginning,wedoliveinuptighttimesthattestourlaid-backsouls,dowenot?War.Poverty.Naturaldisasters.Economiccrisis.Therehasn’tbeenacoherentrevolutionarymovementhoping

totackletheseissuessincethe’60s.Thatheadypotentialforanew revolution in the early ’90s?Well, it seemed to diewithCobain and Hicks and pretty much vanished altogether withthetragicappearanceoftheBackstreetBoysinthemid-’90s.Andwhat about the Dude? Didn’t he basically abandon his

youthfulidealismafterthe’60sbecame,likeeverythingelse,awholly owned subsidiary of Corporate America? How else doyouexplainhismove fromSDS radical toMetallica roadie tounemployedbum?It’senough tomakeyou think themillionaireLebowskiwas

right: Maybe the bums did lose. But that’s just the stressfultimestalking.Noneedforcondolencesjustyet.What happened during the ’60s and early ’90s wasn’t just

confinedtothosetimesandplaces.ThespiritoftheDudeWaythat emerged then abides throughout time, sometimes goingunderground,sometimesdirectlyshakingthe foundations,butalways keeping the whole human comedy perpetuating itselfdown through the generations in freedom, peace, andcommunity.It’s there in our basic human need to relax asmembers of

inclusive communities where everyone is free to share someburgers,somebeers,afewlaughs,andwhatnot.

It’sthereinourfragileyearningforpeaceandourneedtodothe right thing as a person, a community, and a nation,whateverthecost.It’sthereinthevisionofafree,cooperativesocietythatTom

Hayden and Jeff Dowd struggled for, where it’s not asimportanttogetone’swayasitistocreateatrulymeaningfulwaythatisone’sown.That’swhat theDude did, evenwhen hewasworking as a

roadieforabunchofassholes.Healwaysfollowedapersonallymeaningful path that was his own. He rejected the radicalextremism of theNew Left asmuch as he rejected thegrey-flannelconformity it sought to liberate,andabided instead intheDudeWay.What does that mean? Simply put, amid life’s strikes and

gutters,throughallhisbowling,drivingaround,andoccasionalacidflashbacking,theDudealwaystrustedhisownperceptionsandideasandpreferencesinsteadofcleavingtosomesecond-draftdogmaaboutthewaythingsshouldbe.Inaworldwherepoliticalandeconomicsystemsthataretheoreticallysupposedto serve humanity’s needs end up controlling, exploiting, andeven crushing our individuality and integrity, that’s arevolutionaryact.Whenwe abide in our personalDudeWay and then groove

togetherinthelarger,universalDudeWay,weensurethatoureternal revolution is far fromover.Thereasonweareable totakecomfortinthisisthatsomanyGreatDudeshaveabidedinthesamewaybeforeus.Nowit’syourroll.ADuderworld ispossible.Therevolution isnotover. It just

lostitstrainofthoughtthere.

CINEMAVERTE

StonerFilmsandTheBigLebowski

Manypeopleplace highintherunningasaclassic stoner movie. Sure, some purist fans of this genredebate whether the film really fits in this category, but ourstoner friends are prone to debate just about anything afterlightingupabowl.Regardless ofwhich side you’re on, though, at the heart of

thedebateisaworthyfuckingquestion:Whatmakesastonermovie? Is it about doing a doobie, whatever the cost? Or,because these films are mostly about male bonding, does ithavesomethingtodowithwhatmakesabud,man?Onamorephilosophicallevel:Arethesemoviesonlyabouthedonisticself-indulgence or, once the purplish haze clears, is theresomethingmorefar-outgoingon?These are the burning issues we’ll try to spark up in this

limber-mindedsection.

WhatMakesaStonerMovie?

It seems easy enough to define this kind of film, doesn’t it?Obviously, it’s a movie where characters get stoned oncannabis, hence the “stoner” prefix. Others posit an evenbroader definition: It’s any movie considered especiallyenjoyablewhenyou’rehigh.

It’samuchmorecomplicatedcasethanthat, though.Thereareplentyofmovieswithalotofpotsmokingthatdon’tquitemake it to the stoner finals ( , for instance). Likewise,people can enjoy just about any flick while partaking of theherb,while,on theotherhand, lotsofpeoplewhonever tokeupatallcanappreciateagoodstonermovie.Although there are wide-ranging variations within any film

genre, there are also some key characteristics that classify amoviewithinagivencategory.While (Frenchfor“truthycinema”)encompassesmanydifferentkindsofmovies,forexample,theyallhaveastrippeddown,documentarystyleto them. The stoner film genre (or, to coin a phrase,

…“cinemagreen”inEnglish)alsoconsistsofavarietyoffilmsthatallsharesomebasicelements.Tobeginwith,the“green”in is,ofcourse,the

green herb itself. As the main ingredient, it blatantly colorseverything about the plot of a film. This trait, in fact, iswhysome contend that isn’t really a stonermovie. Yes, the Dude gets high, but does his usage play acentralpartinthemovie’snarrative?We’llstashthisquestionawayforlater.For now, let’s look at the other common themes of:•Friendship(especiallybetweentwoclosebuds)•Casualsex(orthefrustrateddesiretogetlaid)• Low-brow humor (often featuring body parts andfunctions)

•Violence(typicallyplayedforlaughs,butsometimesnot)•Uptightauthorityfigures(parents,police,bosses),nerdyorsnootycompeers

•Aconvolutedadventure/crazypartyclimax/whatnot

AStonerMovieFrameofReference

With all the high jinks going on in stoner films, it’s easy toassume that is merely escapist entertainmentwithnothingmoresignificanttosayaboutlifethan“Everybodymust get stoned.” Beyond all the bong hits and potty humor,though, there is an underlying philosophy that ties all thethematicstrandslistedabovetogetherintoabonafideframeofreference.

Ingeneral,thestonermovieworldviewisanabsurdistone.Itrejects and ridicules the so-called serious values of uptightsociety (careerism, social climbing, etc.) as phony andunfulfilling. Smoking pot helps themain characters in stonermovieskeepitrealinascrewed-upworlddominatedbythesevalues.Maincharactersarealsotypicallymarginalizedbytheuptight world because of their race or lower-class status, orbecause they feel alienated from their middle-classbackground. Most are unemployed or wasting their lives indead-endjobs.The absurdist ethos of isn’t surprising,

considering how it’s fueled by something called “wackytobacky.”Thereisalso,however,asharp,subversiveelementtostonermovies.Whetheryouagreewithitornot,thecontentionthatpotopensyourmindisamajorsubtextofthestonermoviephilosophy.SocialsatiristBillHicksexpressedthetenetsofthisviewwhenheobservedthat:

•Smokingpotdoesn’tde-motivateyou,ithelpsyourealizethatsomethingsjustaren’tworththefuckingeffort.

•Naturallygrownsubstancesthatliberateyourmind(likepot)areagainstthelaw,whilemind-numbing,corporate-produceddrugslikealcoholarelegal.

Itmay be the seditious power of “marihuana,” in fact, thathas been freaking out the power structure since at least the1930s. What other reason could there be (aside from thetitillating shock value) for over-the-top propaganda films like

and fromthe’30sand’40s?Inthesehysterical histrionics, onepuff of demonweed instantlyturnsclean-cutwhitefolksintohomicidalsexmaniacs.The scare tactics of these paraquat productions influenced

thewaymainstreammoviesportrayedgrass…untilroaredontothenationalscenein1969,thatis.Althoughdatedin some parts now, in its day this protostoner film wasconsideredquiterevolutionary(cinematicallyandpolitically).Theplotinvolvestwohippiebuddies(PeterFondaandDennis

Hopper)who score big on a drugdeal andhead out on their

choppers across America. In the course of their journey, welearn some cool things (that the word “dude,” according toFonda’scharacter,means“niceguy,aregularsortofperson”),andsomeuncoolthings(thatthepersonalfreedomFondaandHopper enjoy through copious pot use threatens the uptightworld).That last point in particular seems to be the movie’s main

theme.AsJackNicholson’scharactersays:“It’srealhardtobefree when you are bought and sold in the marketplace…Oh,yeah,they’regonnatalktoyou,andtalktoyou,andtalktoyouaboutindividualfreedom.Butiftheyseeafreeindividual,it’sgonnascare’em.”Fonda’s andHopper’s freedom, as it turns out, is one toke

overthelineinanuptightsociety,whichendsupgettingthemblownawaybyacoupleofreactionarieswithashotgun.Itwasabummer,man.Butthen,adecadelater,allthatnegativeenergywouldburn

outandgo… .

TheGrandfather(orBigBambuski)ofStonerFilms

BythetimeCheechandChongreleased in1978,the comedy duo had already blazed a long trail in the reeferfields of drug-related humor. Compared favorably to classiccomedy teams like Crosby and Hope or Abbott and Costello,Cheech and Chong defined humor in the ’70s with inventiveliveperformancesandastringofhitalbums.Themarijuana-lacedcomedyof alsoestablished

thestandardformulaof moviesalreadydiscussed:•Afriendshipbetweentwomarginalizedcharacters(PedroandMan)coastingthroughanabsurdlyrandomworld

•Humoraboutcasualsexandbodyfunctions•Mildviolence(Pedro’scousinhasaVietnamflashback)•Uptightauthorityfigures(mainlylawenforcement)

• A climacticmusic competition that Pedro andManwinbecause their van, made out of something called“fiberweed,”catchesonfireandthesmokegetseveryonezonked

• Unrepentant pot use while mocking square values (ajudge attempts to pass off a pitcher of vodka as waterduringPedroandMan’sdrugtrial)

Despitebombingwithcriticswhenitfirstappeared(andeventoday ithasanabysmal ratingonrottentomatoes.com),

remains one of the most popular movies ever made,raking in $41,590,893 in 1978 and over $28million in rentalsalesintheyearssince.

TheBigLebowski:StonerFlickorNot?

It should be pretty clear that , which cameoutin1998asthestonermoviegenrewasbeginningtoboom(see “Growing Like aWeed,” page 150), has all the standardelements of mentioned here: buddy bonding,casualsex,violence,uptightreactionaries,andafreewheelingmisadventure toward solving a convoluted mystery. Joel andEthanCoenevenseem topayhomage to in thescenewhere theDude flicksa jointontohis lapwhiledrivingaroundanddrinkingabeer.Attheendof Cheechalsolosesajointinhislapwhiledriving,andChongrespondsbydousinghisfriend’scrotchwithbeer.Still,therearesomefansof whodon’t include

as part of the genre, mainly because theDudeonlysmokesherbbrieflyon-screenfourtimes:oncewhilewith the millionaire Lebowski, once in the tub, once whiledriving, and once post-coitus with Maude. Aside fromcontributingtothecollisionwithadumpster,pot,andinstanceswheretheDudetokesup,seemratherincidentaltotheoverallstory.Becausepotdefines justabouteveryaspectofa stonerfilmplot,itmaybetoughtosaywhetherithasastrongenough

influence on the Coen Brothers’ classic to qualify it as agenuinestonermovie.

GROWINGLIKEAWEED:THEPROLIFERATIONOFSTONERFILMS

Despitethesuccessof , itwouldtakemorethan a decade for to fully blossom into agenre of its own. Yeah, there were plenty of moviesfeaturing ample pot use before and after Cheech andChong’sfilmwasreleased.Ittook ,though,to infuse the dour stoner template established by

withapotenthitofcomedy.With the success of Richard Linklater’s stoner classic

in1993,thecategorybegantogrowfaster than a hybrid of cannabis and kudzu.

and most of the stoner movies that followedadhere to the basic formula established byand .Hereisalistofnotablevariationsfromthepast twentyyears that regularly showupon listsoftopstonerfilms.Dazed and Confused (1993) Set on the last day of

school in1976, this filmhasaGreatDude inFilm (RonSlater) but also qualifies as a Dudeist cautionary taleabouthowtakin’iteasycangoawry.Whileithasalltheelements of a stoner movie, the movie’s ambiguousending can leave you wondering if the main character(Randall “Pink” Floyd) wasn’t dazed and confused inmaking a choice that may shape his life for years tocome.Friday (1995) This first African-American stoner

comedy,setindowntownLosAngeles,followstheanticsofrecentlyunemployedCraigJones(playedbyIceCube)andhisstoner friend,Smokey.“Iknowyoudon’tsmokeweed,” Smokey consoles Craig, “but I’m gonna get youhigh today, ’cause it’s Friday, you ain’t got no job...andyouain’tgotshittodo.”

Half-Baked (1998) Although Dave Chappelle’sbreakthrough flickkindof sellsout in theendwhenhischaracter swears off pot (a breach of thecode),thecrosssectionofpotheadcelebritieswhomakecameos,rangingfromSnoopDoggtoWillieNelson,reallyties the stoner ethos together. The movie evencontributedaneweuphemismtothepotheadlexicon:“IwannatalktoSampson.”HaroldandKumarGotoWhiteCastle(2004)Atrue

classic in , this flick follows the epic questHaroldandKumarembarkupontofindanelusiveWhiteCastle restaurant after getting blazed one night. Nomatterhowoddtheirodysseybecomes(suchasridingastonedcheetahandpickingupahitchhikerwhoturnsoutto be a hopped-up Neil Patrick Harris), the duo learnsthattheuniversetendstounfoldasitshould.SmileyFace (2007) Anna Faris has the distinction of

being ’s first female stoner in a lead role.SheplaysJane,aneconomicsmajorbackincollege,whoisnowanunemployed,bong-smokingactor.Althoughhermisadventures showcase many classic stoner movieelements, thebasically friendless Jane is oneof the fewcharactersinthegenrewhogetsbustedandpunishedintheend.Pineapple Express (2008) According to the movie’s

prologue,pastsecretmilitaryexperimentsonasmokablesubstance called “Item 9” resulted in disrespect forauthorityandaninsatiabledesireforbe-bopandboobies.Likewise, a modern-day blend of pot called “pineappleexpress” sparks a lot of hilarious social disorder thatunfortunately devolves into an outlandish level ofviolencebythemovie’send.

OurDude-likeanswer:Doesthepopeshitinthewoods? not only ranks high in the running of

classic stoner movies, it also transcends thegenreaswell.Despiterarely lightinguponscreen, theDude,it’s important to remember, is pretty stoned throughmost of

thefilm.That isn’t the idlespeculationofpeoplewhohavetoomuch

timeon theirhands to thinkaboutshit like this.According toJeff Bridges, the Dude burned many more jays within themovie’stimeframethanweactuallysee.Beforefilmingascene,infact,BridgeswouldasktheCoenBrotherswhethertheDudewouldhavesmokedajointonhiswaytowherethescenetakesplace.BecausetheCoenssaidheprobablywouldhave,BridgesessentiallyplayedtheDudeasbakedinmostscenes.BecausemostofthemovieunfoldsfromtheDude’spointof

view, the film’s narrative is almost entirely influenced by hisuse of marijuana. That would explain many of

morebafflingaspects,suchas thevarioustangledstrands of plot that don’t really go anywhere, the muddledreferencesandconfusedsenseoftime(isitAugust1990,whenBushmade his comment about Saddam’s aggression, or is itSeptember1991,astheDudewritesonhischeck?),andeventheoddandpossiblyhallucinatedappearancesoftheStranger.

AbidinginaUniverseThatTendstoUnfoldasItShould

So, really does fit right in there with theabsurdist worldview.However,aswithotherCoenBrothers’films,italsotranscendsthegenre.ThisisoftenhowtheCoenswork:Whileremainingtruetoa

common movie type, they infuse it with larger and deeperphilosophicalundercurrentsthattransformafamiliarstandardinto somethingnewandunexpectedlyprofound.Thinkof

—the Coens give the standard screwballcomedy formula a new level of depth by adding notions ofkarmaandotherelementsofEasternphilosophytoit.Thesameistrueofstonerfilmsand .Inadditiontosharingagenerallyabsurdistworldview,most

of the movies in the genre have their own

philosophicaltakeonmakingsenseoflifeinarandomand,attimes, seemingly meaningless universe. For films like

itishedonism.Beyondthe“partyhearty”ethos,manystoner films also try to impart on some level a kind of lifelesson.Thesubtext in , forexample focusesonwhat itreallymeanstobeamaninthe’hood.Few movies, however, offer what would be

considered a spiritual or religious insight into life (which isodd, considering that many people around the world revereganja as a sacrament). One outstanding exception is

. No matter how crazy andoutrageous lifegets forourpotheadprotagonists,

reassuresusthattheuniverseultimatelytendstounfoldasitshould.Ifwerollwithit,everythingmostlikelywillworkout.Asreassuringasthismoralis,though,itseemsperipheralto the film’s overriding fixation on scoring weed, eatinghamburgers,andgettinglaid.That’s why we believe is the cultural

phenomenon it is today. It takes the popular and somewhatsuperficial,lightheartedstonerformulaandusesittotapdeeplife currents. True to form, the Coens remain faithful to thegenre’s standard formula (especially the subversive emphasison personal freedom), but de-emphasize all the pot and sexwhileintroducingmuchdeeperphilosophicalelements:Easternphilosophy, feminism, radical politics (on the left and right),class tensions, even a poignant glimpse into mortality atDonny’sfuneral.JoelandEthanraisethestonerfilmtothelevelofepicart.As

withmostgreatworksofhumanimagination,asks its audience big questions rather than offering patanswers. Most other stoner movies tend to preach an easyanswer to everything that usually involves simply burning ablunt.At the heart of , though, there is no easy

answer for anything in life, least of all one to be found bygetting high. TheDude’s stoned reveries, in fact, are usuallyrudely disrupted by nihilists threatening castration or by

driving his car into a dumpster. That’s probablywhywe findthemoviesoenduringlyinneresting.Itresonates,sotospeak,withmanyofthechallengesandambiguitiescloudingourownlives.AswelistentotheDude’sconvolutedstory,wealsoseethat

everything in hisworld is disjointed.Words have no commonmeaning.Situationsarearbitraryandchaotic.Noone’sidentityisclearorcertain.Afterwatchingthemovieforthefirsttime,wefeellikecluelesschildrenwhowanderedintothemiddleofsomethingwedon’tentirelyunderstand.Wemayevengettheuneasysensewhenthemovie’soverthatwe’vewanderedintothemiddleofourown liveswithno firm ideaofwhat’s reallygoingon.Rather than feeling nihilistic despair, though, we take

comfort in how, through all of life’s ups and downs andexistential absurdities, the Dude abides. And if someone likehimcan,perhapssowillwe,withorwithoutlightingupajay.Ifwe just relax and allow it to, well, the universe will tend tounfoldasitshould.Inotherwords,it’satrip.Andthat’sahighlyvaluedinsight,isitnot?

SUBJECTSLIKEWOMEN

DudeistFeminism

Sometimes people get the wrong idea that Dudeism is aBrotherhood Shamus, with no sisters allowed. Far from it,dude. Though Dudeism’s followers are mostly good men andthurrah,we’ve got awhole lot of special ladies in our ranks.Whilewecandiganondairyversionofourholycocktail, liketheDude,ultimatelywepreferhalf-and-half.Perhaps it all comes down to the word “Dudeism.” Now,

“Dude,”that’snotanamemostwomenwouldself-applywherewecomefrom.Butthat’sonlybecausetheyaren’tprivytothenew gist. What makes a Dude? The way we see it, “dude”describeswhat’sinyourmind,notyourpants.Of course, the word “dude” has changed dramatically in

meaning since it first arrived on the U.S. East Coast fromEngland,andmade itswaywestwardwiththewagonsuntil itreachedthebosomofthePacificOcean.It evolved from describing a fastidious and romantically

minded intellectual fellow to describing a privilegedfrontiersman, to an urban black alpha-male, to a languidbeatnikpoetuntilfinallybecomingatermofrespectcleansedof all its elite connotations by 1960s and 1970s hippie andsurferculture.42“Dude” isalso increasingly losing itsgenderaffiliation,thoughthetransformationisn’tyetcomplete.Whilesomeladyfriendsaren’tintothewhole“dude-ity”thing,it’snotuncommon for a growing number of women (especially in

California) to self-apply the handle “dude” the same way werefertoagroupofpeopleas“youguys”regardlessofwhetherthey’resportingpairsoftesticlesornot.

Inadditiontogettingeveryone,maleandfemale,tojusttakeiteasy,oneofDudeism’sobjectivesistoridtheword“dude”ofany masculine bias. Dudeists aren’t hung up on issues ofmasculinity or femininity. The vagina, man, is not the issuehere.Yeah,gender-freenomenclaturecancausemisunderstanding,

of course. But allWestern languages, reflecting a patriarchalethos,arecompromisedbya“no-women-clature”genderbias:

fromtheobvious“man”and“mankind”(“Sometimesthere’saman…”) to the habit of referring to unnamed individuals as“he” (“Every bum’s lot in life is his own responsibilityregardless ofwhomhe chooses toblame”).AsWalterputs it,“We’vegota languageproblemhere.”Dudeismwants tohelpresolveitbyco-optingtheword“dude”andpromotingittosuitourownspecial-innerestgroup.Afterall,peopledidthesamethingwith“gay,”right?Nowasidefrometymology,theremightbeotherreasonswhy

we have a-ways to go when it comes to making Dudeism asappealingtowomenasitistomen.Wesuspectthatabigpartof the problem comes from societal norms and expectationsthattellwomenthat,inshort,theyshouldn’ttakeiteasy.Nowthat’s fucking interesting. And it’s also a bummerman, it’s abummer.The average women’s magazinemight sport the occasional

novel review or bit of politics, but they’re almost entirelycatalogsofbeautytips,weight-lossschemes,andsexualtricksto please your male partner. Movie heroines generally playsecondfiddletotheintellectualormuscularmalelead;they’reeitherwhining victims ofmalemistreatment, or they’reman-obsessedandfashion-crazed wannabes.Whilemost popular female role models are nubile young pop starsmore admired for their abs than abilities (their glory isludicrous!),trulyadmirableandpowerfulwomenlikeOprahorHillaryClintonareoftenjudgedmoreontheirappearancethanintellectualacumen.Forgetaboutthefuckingcameltoe!Does the female form (the original, uncosmeticized first

draft) make people uncomfortable? Fucking flesh fascists.We’resympathizinghere,dudes.Oursocietytreatswomenlikesubjects,man,andasaresult,whenitcomestogivingbirthtotheir authentic selves, it does not properly help them toconceive.To help us get down to cases, we’ve invited a group of

prominent female Dudeists to take part in this a-hereroundrobin—a series of questions about ,Dudeism, and Special Ladyism. Affectionately referred to as

“TheMaude Squad,” they are the women for their time andplace.Theyreallyhelptieourquorumtogether.Theyare:

•Rev.StellaQuinn,HighPriestofZymurgy,Contributortothe ,andtechnologicaladvisor.

•Rev.MotherDuderior(a.k.a.TracyGlover,a.k.a.MattiSim) Active member of the clergy, the ’sScottishcorrespondent.

•Rev.AndreaMariaAtenasOneof the foundingDudesofDudeism,Chileancorrespondentforthe .

•Rev.WendyNixon Contributor to the andCanadiancorrespondent.

• Rev. Lisa Strouss (Formerly known as Lisa Donald)Lebowski Studies innovator, published a thesis onLebowski Theory, available at our Dude University(www.dudeuniversity.com), where she is an associateprofessor.

1.WhatdoyouthinkthephilosophyofDudeismcanoffermodernwomen?

StellaQuinn:Aboveall,Dudeismoffersafreshstart.Beingareligionwithoutadeity, itallowsus tocome into thiswithoutany of the baggage monotheism has. Judaism, Christianity,Islam—these are all systems thatworship TheMan. DudeistsmerelydigthestyleoftheDude.Bigdifference.Themalenessof themonotheistic god has been used as an excuse to keepwomenunder lock and key for thousands of years. Toomanyspecial ladieswereexcluded fromtheclergyand frompropereducation.Toomanyhavebeentoldwhattowear,wheretheycan go, and who they can have sex with because religion ingeneralthinksthatauthorityequalsapairoftesticles.Dudeismhasnobeardeddudeintheskytellingyouheloves

yousomuchhecan’twaittopunishyou.ItjusthasabeardedDude who is willing to go to your stupid dance recital. TheDude utterly rejects the restraints that conventional

masculinityplacesonme.Heexhibitsnoneofthetraitsamanhasbeentoldaremandatory:tobefinanciallysuccessful,tobepointlesslybrave,andtocontrolthewomeninhis lifeandhisoffspring. TheBig Lebowski achieved all of these things, andhe’sapatheticjerk.TheBigLebowskihasalotincommonwithpopes, priests, and televangelists, with his crisp suit andsymbolicseatofpower.Buthis literalseatofpower isoneofweakness, and never once dowe sympathizewith him.Okay,except formaybewhenWalter tosses the poor fucker on thefloor.The Dude’s authenticity is nothing but good for women.

Without male figures trying to control, manipulate, or ownfemale bodies,women are free to be authentic and enjoy fullstatus and participation. That kind of freedom is essential tofeelinglikeaperson.Dudeismofferswomenawayofthinkingabout the world that will never ask them to self-censor orconformtoarbitrarygenderroles.You’renotgoingtoseeanyneurotic casserole-baking Stepford Wives in this religion,becausenoDudeistwouldevercutawomandownlikethat.Mother Duderior: To be more relaxed with life and everyday’s stresses and, therefore, be more confident withthemselves,yetwithoutbeingaggressive.AndreaMariaAtenas:Beingawomaninthistimeandplacemeans fulfilling a lot of social expectations—rules meant tomake us achieve, but in a wrong way. Those rules are notcreatedtoachieveself-fulfillment,sowhathappenstooursoulandspirit?There’stoomuchofthatwhole thinggoin’

on, forcing us to think that wewill find spiritual andmentalpeace through a pair of thousand-dollar shoes, or the latestfashion collection from some famous designer. That’s abummer,man.Anyway,thesedaysfindingaplaceforthespirithasbecome

more andmoreurgent. Somewomenmay find it at a spa, inyoga,Prozac,orwiththeirshrinks;butthosearejustmoments,

minutesofaday thatwon’tgiveyounecessarilyanadvancedphilosophyonlife,andmostofthetime,it’snotcollectivebutonly self-serving.So it’snecessary to findaplace inwhich tofind an everlasting peace of mind. That’s what a modernwoman can find through Dudeist philosophy—abide in goodfellow Dudeships, or get advice about Dude-ifying yourbathroomandmakingyourownhomespa.WendyNixon:Dudeismprovidesawaytolearntojusttakeiteasy,man.Dudeismcanbeaportal intoOnenesswithBeing.Maybe on the rug just doesn’t do it for you. Adoptingand practicing the philosophy of letting be is priceless for awoman caught in a patriarchal society. In other words, nomatterhowmanycarpetpisserscrossourpath,wecanremainhousebroken.LisaStrouss:WhileIfeelthatDudeismisstillanincarnationofmaleculture,apathofpassivemasculinity,IdobelievetheWay of theDude can be applied to the feminist lifestyle. Theway I see it,whenyou cannot findapath that suits you, youmustmake your own. For example, I considermyself to be afeminist,yetIcannotidentifywithgender-benderradicals,norhyper-masculine females, or even those pale, skinny menleading the “Take Back the Night” marches on collegecampuses.Still,Iconsidertheunspokenlawsofgenderculturetounconsciouslydominatethewaywebehaveinourlivesandinsociety,andfrankly,itisoverwhelming.Makesmejustwantto kick back inmy jelly sandals andwatch it all passme by,Dude-like,inmyownway.LetmejustaddthattheDude’sjellysandalsareatestament

to his pro-feminine doctrine, as the jelly sandal was perhapsthe most coveted shoe of my childhood, and it was the firstintroduction for women of my generation to the concept ofsuffering for fashion. The shoes were painful, uncomfortable,sweaty,andblistering,andyet,youcouldnotbeconsideredafemalecontenderonthesocialplaygroundwithoutthem.WhentheDudewearstheseshoes,Iseehimasaradical.It’salmost

likehe’swearingabra.

2.DoyouthinkthefeministtraditionisatoddswithDudeism,oraretheycompatible?Orare

theysecretlythesamething?

StellaQuinn:Feminismisaveryimportantstruggle,andit’sdoneahelluvalotforourculture.Thebattlestillisn’tdoneinalot of ways, because women are still second-class citizens inmanypartsof theworld,andeven in theWestsexismisaliveand well. Dudeism represents the end goal of feminism: toallowusalltojustabidetogetherwithoutanylabelstodriveusapart. In thisway,Dudeismalso represents the state ofmindwe’ll all have when we overcome bigotry in all its forms. Toecho thewords of theGreatDude John Lennon: “Imagine allthepeople,sharingalltheworld.”That’swhatDudeismis,andthat’swhat feminismwants.ThemoreDudeists thereareoutthere, the closer we bring feminism to its goal of not beingneededanymore.AndreaMaria Atenas: It would be hard to understand whyfeminism wouldn’t agree with Dudeism! Dudeism is a totallyfriendlyphilosophy.Itpointsoutalltheaggressionsthatshouldnotstand.Everybodycantakecomfortinthat.Also—and I’m talking about the Dude here—isn’t he

respectful towardwomen?Beyondbeingamanwithapairoftesticles, he is a sympathizer with some feminist principles:He’s againstwomen being treated like objects, andwhen hislady friend wants to be a single mother without any moraljudgment,he’shappytohelpherconceive—andwithoutbeingamalechauvinistaboutit!Finally,andmaybethemostimportant,isn’tMaudeaperfect

feministicon?Well,dudes,Ithinkwecanclosethefileonthatone.

Wendy Nixon: What makes a feminist? Isn’t thrusting yourlack-of-johnsonupontheworldinanaggressivefashionprettymuchthesamethingaswhattheBrotherShamusesaredoing?Dudeismisaboutlettingeverysentientbeingjust ,asfarasthisDudesees it.Manymodernfeminists insistthat feminismisn’taboutaggressivelysupportingthefemaleaspectandtheytake offence at the old, outdated view of hairy armpits andman-hating marches. Whatever. Honestly, I find the wholeconceptofbeingan “-ist”ofanykindexhausting. I evenonlyemployDudeismtoprovideaframeofreferenceformylimbermind.LisaStrouss:Itishardformetosupporttheideaofafeministtradition, as it seems thatgenerationally, the feminist agendachangesandmorphs tosuit theneedsof thepresentageandsomehow remain very disconnected. I think socially peopleperceivefeministsassomekindofsecretsociety,whereweallgettogetherandvoteanddecidetosetaprecedentforallthedevotees, but really, in this day, feminism is an isolatedlifestyle,achoicemadewithinthe individual, formenandforwomen. Perhaps Dudeism the new feminism, one that iswithoutgenderdefinition.I feel like I’malreadycontradictingmyself,butperhaps the

characters are telling us that these notions of feminism andmasculinity are no longer useful. Eachman and eachwomanmust define their approach to gender on their own termsaccordingtotheindividual,andwhatevertheychooseisrightbynatureofitbeingaself-definedpath.Andperhapsthecloserwe get to this genderless state, the more we see the socialbacklashandlastgraspsatantiquatedgenderideologies.Note the resurgence in youth culture of definingmale and

female territories: women turning cupcake-making and do-it-yourselfdressmakingintoboutiqueandhigh-endretail,youngmen growing beards and turning blue-collar clothes ofAmerica’slaborpastintoexpensiverawdenimandluxuryworkboots.Butthispolarizationcannotlast—weeachmustfindthemaleandfemaleinsidetheselfandacceptbothtobeatpeace.

Wemustallbecomespiritualhermaphrodites.

3.WoulditbeharderforawomantoliveherlifeliketheDude?

StellaQuinn:Certain aspects of the lifestylewouldbemoredifficult to emulate, especially because women aren’t fullcitizensjustyet.LivingaloneinaLosAngelesapartmentthatis insanely easy to break into is not something mosturbandwelling ladiesaregonnado. Ifagalwent toRalphs inher jammies and robe to buy some half-and-half with a badcheck,she’dprobablygetcatcalledleftandright.Infact,ifyouenvision the plot of with a femaleprotagonist, whole chunks of the movie would never havehappened.Women have a lotmore safety concerns thanmendo, and they have to do a lot more planning when movingaroundinpublic.Becauseofthisthey’dbelesslikelytoturnupatrandomaddressestoreclaimrugsortrackdownstolencarswithout knowing how they’ll be treated once they’re in thedoor.However,mostaspectsoftheDude’slifewouldbeeasypeasy

to take on, such as taking a nice hot soak in the bath withcandlesallaroundforalittlemoodlighting.Hell,Ididthatwaybefore IevenheardofDudeism. I think there’sbiggerstigmaagainstmenhavingcandlesinthebathroomatthispointinourcultural history, where chicks are like, to havecandlesandothersmellyshitalloverthehouse.Andfindingagreat rug that ties the room together?Hell, there’s an entireindustrypointedatwomentohelpthemoutwiththat.Bowling is an aspect of theDude’s lifestyle that appeals to

everyone regardless of gender or background. Male, female,andmixedbowling leaguesareall over theplace. I suckwaytoo much at throwing a straight rock to get involved with aleague,but I enjoy the fineart ofbumperbowling, especiallysince I don’t have to put downmyWhite Russian and try to

aim.Mother Duderior: I have no problems living as the Dude.Exceptforthefactthattherearenobowlingalleysinmyarea!Andrea Maria Atenas: Dudeism is a state of mind, somespiritualstatethatcanbeadmiredandadoptedbyanyperson,regardlessoftheirgender.We’reallDudes.WendyNixon:Idon’tseewhyitneedbe.Itmightbeslightlymoredifficulttofindaspecialgentlemanifyou’restrollingintoRalphsinyourbathrobe,butthat’shardlyaheftypricetopayforthefar-out,take-it-easylifestyle.LisaStrouss:OnlytheDudecanbetheDude.ItwouldbelikeaskingtheDudetolivehislifelikeMaude.OrWaltertobelikeBunny. We all must live according to our natures and allowothers to do sowithout judgment, andwithout the bounds ofgenderideologiesthatarenolongerusefultotheevolutionofsociety.

4.NomineesforourGreatDudesinHistoryarealmostallmale.Whydoyouthinkthisis?Can

yousuggestanyfemaleGreatDudesinHistory?

StellaQuinn: Part of the problem is that, because humanityhas been male-dominated for so long, a lot of special ladiesnever got the chance to shine out. Those that did had to beruthless,makingthemresembleTheBigLebowskimuchmorethantheDude.Really,thegreatestDudesinHistory—maleandfemale—are

folkswhoneverwouldhavemadethehistorybooks.TheDudecertainly wouldn’t be given a page in the books, yet, as theStranger reminds us, there is something reassuring aboutknowingthathe’soutthereabiding.Thesamegoesforallthe

nameless women who have been swept under the rug whilemenwrote thehistorybooks.Catherine theGreat,Cleopatra,Joan of Arc—sure, they’re all impressive, but I feel betterimagining a woman out of history who kept a tavernsomewhere,brewedreallykick-assbeer,andpoureditoutforweary travelers. There had to have been some special ladybackintheMiddleAges,who,afterlosingalovedone,wenttothe local public house and ordered an oat soda from thelandlady. The landlady would offer her condolences, and thespecialladywouldadmitherpain,butacknowledgethatshe’stryingtoabide.Andsomewhereelsenearby,there’sprobablyaLittle Lebowski on theway. The truly greatDudes inHistoryarenameless,andthat’swhathelpsusthinkofthemasbeingyetanotherfaceoftheDude.Mother Duderior: Um...a pair of testicles? To be a greatwomanoftenmeansthatonehastooverachieve.Whichisoftenveryun-Dude.Andrea Maria Atenas: As we all know, women have beenparticipatinginworldhistoryforlesstimethanmen,andhaveonly become major protagonists in the story recently. Therewere probably a lot of women getting things done throughthosehardtimes,butremainedanonymous,andwemayneverknowtheirstories.I’dliketosuggestEllaFitzgeraldasagreatDudeistbecause

her lifewasquitedifficult.Shewasabandonedbyher father,her mother died, she grew up by herself, she faced thechallengesofbeingablackwomaninaracistsociety.However,herattitudewastogivetheworldbeautyinreturn.WendyNixon:Nominees forprettymuchanything inhistoryarealmostallmale.Tellyouwhat;youcanput downasanominee and in a couple hundred years they’ll all havesomeonetomakestatuesof.Far-out.Lisa Strouss: Well let me interpret that for myself: A great

Dudeist woman is one who defines her own path withoutregard togenderdefinitionsof the time.VirginiaWoolf.YayoiKusama.FrancesFarmer.HedyLamarr.Salome.AndOprah. Idon’tcarewhatanyonesays,IloveOprah.

5.IsTheBigLebowskimorecriticaloftraditionalmalerolesortraditionalfemaleroles?Orarethey

equal?

Stella Quinn: takes no prisoners in itscomplete deconstruction of modern life. The Dude deflatesmasculine stereotypes in the Big Lebowski’s speech about“what makes a man” with the puncturing truth that malegenitalia is all that really makes a man a man. Maudeevisceratesconventionalfemininitybybeingproudofherbody,owninghersexuality,andallowingnomantocontrolher.Theunion of Maude and the Dude represents humanity comingtogether after rejecting constraining and arbitrary genderroles,andtheLittleLebowski is thehopeforapost-genderedfuture.MotherDuderior:Whatisequalityanyway?Whowantstobethesameaseveryoneelse?WendyNixon:Idon’treallysee ascriticalofany role. From my perspective, it’s a fantastic unfolding ofkarma,andeachcharacterreapsthebenefitsoftheirpersonalconstitution.EvenDonny,thoughIdidn’tliketoseehimgo.Lisa Strouss: The film does seem to satirize the archetypalfeminist onone level, but I think that is really only a surfaceinterpretationofthefilm.Whatdoweexperiencesymbolicallybeneath thedialogueof thecharacters?What rolesarebeingplayedoutsocially?Whenyoulookatthe“facts,”theprimarymale characters have no social status and no finances. Even

theso-calledwealthyLebowskihasnotruemoneyofhisown;hehasonlyhis[late]wife’smoney,nothingtrulyearnedbyhisownlabor.The gender roles presented in the film seem to have no

tradition really, although I do think it is very significant thatLarry’s father exists in a state of near-death in an iron lung.Becauseofhisassociationwith ,ashowthatreinforcesthe Western American male mystique, we are witnessing aliteraldeathofthatbrandofmasculinity.Ihavealwaysfeltthatthesecretof couldbedecodedintheLarrySellers scenes. That if we studied Larry long enough, withspiritualdevotion,thetruemeaningofthefilmwouldbecomeclear.

6.WhatisyourfeelingaboutMaude,thefilm’sheroine?Issheadmirableornot?

Stella Quinn: Maude is a flawed heroine, but that’s whatmakesherinteresting.Shecouldn’tbetooperfectorshe’djustbeanotherfemininestereotypeonfilm.Herindependenceandopenness are impressive, but she’s chock full of daddy issuesthatmake her hard and sometimes petty. It’s hard to believethat the loss of a single rug from the Lebowski householdwould reallymean thatmuch to someone sowealthy, but therugbecomesaverypersonalsymbolofthecontemptshefeelsforherfather.TheobsessivejealousysheshowstowardBunnydoesn’thelpdispelstereotypesaboutfemalecattiness,andtheplan she follows to secure the Dude as a sperm donor is sobizarreastobepointless.JudgingbytheDude’sreactionwhenhediscoversMaude’sintentiontoconceive,it’sverylikelythatallshewouldhavehadtodowasaskstraightupandhewouldhavesaidyes.Thedamagesheexhibitsshowsthatshe’sspenttoomuchof

her life livingamongmanipulative,backstabbingassholes.It’sonlywhensheshedsthebiggreencoatandgetssomequality

abiding in thatwecanseesomevulnerability,andthat finallyhumanizesher.Maudeasapersonisdeeplyflawed,butMaudeas a character is extremely admirable in terms of what shedoestoalterthewaywomenareusuallypresentedonscreen.Mother Duderior: I liked Maude but not the company shekeeps. Sometimes the arty crowd can be too arty. That andnondairycreamersucks.Reallysucks.AndreaMaria Atenas: I dig her style! She has no need towearhighheelsornicelingerietobemoreattractiveandtrulyfeminine. She is a realwoman, a sort of Venus,maybe that’swhy she’s always naked. Her image represents the originalfeminine beauty; I’m not talking about Eve here, I’m talkingabout Venus—there’s something immaterial about her,somethingsublime.Onasidenote,I’minterestedtoknowwhatshewas laughing about in her conversationwith Sandra andKnox.WeretheylaughingattheDude?WendyNixon: Maude appears comfortable in her own skin,withherartisticexpression,andwithhersexualandmaternalneeds.Sheseemsclear,calm,andassertivewithoutaggression(other than that knock on the jaw), and I think I’d enjoy hercompanyinreallife.LisaStrouss:Maude’sweakness ishercompletedismissalofthe male role and her perception of the man to be simplybiological,asaseedtoproducethenextgeneration.Aswomenincrease their power in society, it should not be to displacemen.Sowhydowestillperceiveitinthisway?Wheredidwelearn this concept that one gendermust dominate the other?SoIthinkMaudeiswrongtofeelthatfatherhoodandmalerolemodels are no longer relevant. She is an extremist in thisregard,butonecannothelpbut loveandadmirehercreativededicationtothevaginalcause.

WhatabouttheDude?Wouldyoueverpairupwithsomeonelikehim?

StellaQuinn:TheDudehimself?Nah.Icouldn’thangoutwithaguywhohungoutwithsomeonelikeWalter.ButmyboyfriendexhibitsmanyDudelycharacteristics,suchaspatienceandanuncanny ability to rollwith the punches. True self-confidencecomesfromneithercaringwhatothersthinkofyounortryingto imposeyouropiniononothers.Guyswhoexhibit thismostDudelyoftraitsarevery,verysexy.MotherDuderior:Iamhim!Iabide!Helooksbetterinshortsthough.AndreaMariaAtenas:Withhis spiritual sensitivity and thatincrediblePendletonCowichansweater,whynot?WendyNixon:Yes.Someonesoacceptingofothersandtheirindividualidiosyncrasiesishighlyattractive.Hetakeseachday,situation, event, and catastrophe as they come, employs thenecessarymeanstodealwiththem,andenjoystheadventureofitall.He’smotivatedenoughtomaintainshelter,tokeephisbelly full andhismind limber, and to drive around and bowl.Soundslikeafantasticspecialgentlemantome.LisaStrouss:Youknowwhat,I’vedatedmanyincarnationsoftheDude.I’vebeenthatSpecialLady.Andunfortunately,Ihavetosay,I’veoutgrownhim.Irespecthim,butIthinkhe’sabitofaself-indulgentalcoholicandatthispointinmylife,I’dratherbewiththeporndirector,becauseatleasthe’semployed.

8.WhatchangeswouldyouliketoseeinDudeismtomakeitappealmoretowomen?

StellaQuinn: Inessentials,Dudeismhaseverything itneedstoappealtowomen.Allitwillneedistomaintainawarenessofhowitrepresentsgender.Aslongasnothingisdonetoalienateor marginalize women, plenty of special ladies will join theranks. This same idea applies to all groups that haveexperiencedmarginalizationinmainstreamculture—nonwhitesandsexualminoritiescometomind.AslongasDudeismavoidslabeling individualpeople,we’llall justbeDudes.Thesecondanyonelabelgainsprivilegeovertherest,we’llhavelostourcore ethos and turned into the mainstream society we’verejected.MotherDuderior:Eeep!Um...morejewelry?AndreaMaria Atenas: I don’t want to be sycophant, but Ithinkit’sperfect.LisaStrouss:Idon’tthinkDudeismshouldchangeinanyway.If itmust change, the evolutionwill happen naturally. I don’tthink it needs to appealmore to women. It either does or itdoesn’t. I believe Dudeism was a gift to men, the Americanappropriation of Zen culture. It is a way to pass down theteachings so that we might understand them throughcontemporarysymbols.Dudeismisthereforthosewhoseekit,man or woman. To be a Dudeistmissionary goes against thewayoftheDude.

9.ThespiritualstateofDudenessiscalled“abiding.”Whattechniquesdoyouemployinyour

day-to-daylifethathelpyoutoabide?

StellaQuinn: I’vealwaysbeenvery intomusic. IobsessivelygroommymusiccollectiononmylaptopsoIcaneasilycreateplaylists that echo the mood of the day. I also play a fewinstrumentsandparticularlyenjoyunwindingwithmyukulele.

Yogaisalsoeverythingit’scrackeduptobe.Afteragoodyogaworkout,nothinginmybodyhurtsanymoreandtheworldjustfeelsabitmorepeaceful.LatelyI’vetakento journalingmythoughtsontheversesof

the . The translation by Jonathan Star is reallysomethingspecial,andreadingjustafewsentenceswillspawnparagraphsofthought.Writingmythoughtsoutwithpaperandink, just for myself, has helpedme combat the overwhelmedfeeling I can get from the fast-paced, fully connected digitalworldIhavetooperateineveryday.Ialsohaveabat-shitcrazycatnamedLokithatreallyhelps

mewith theZen thing.Catsare critters that exist inaworldoutsideoftime.Havingalittlepurringfur-ballcurledupforanaponyourlapcanreallyhelpyouresetyourpriorities.MotherDuderior&AndreaMariaAtenas:MindifIburnajay?WendyNixon: Dudeism for me was a gateway to a greaterseeing.Learningtoletgoandallowgreaterforcesthanmyself(relativelyspeaking)handlethebigthingsandthelittlethingswasincrediblyhelpfultomydailymentalstate.Abidingisalsoactuallythekeyfactorin“successful”meditation.Manypeoplecannotstoptheirmindwhentheymeditate.Thetrickis,don’t to stop it. Just…abide it, man. Let the mind do what it

wants,andjustbeawarethatyouare ,notthemind.Ultimately, the greatest state of oneness and peace isattainable throughabiding.Andtrueabidingcomeswhenyourealizeyouneverreallyhadanycontroloveranyof ittostartwith.TheDudeabides.AndallistheDude.Lisa Strouss: Abiding is a wonderful approach to the greatmelodramaofourlives.Wecannotcontrolwhathappenstous;we can only control our reaction. Abiding is to allow life tohappen touswithout resistance, toembrace theunknown, toacceptothers,andtoacceptourselves.Abidingisalsotoletgo.Lettinggoofwhatwethinkshouldhappen,orwhatwewantto

happen,andallowinglifetosurpriseus.EverydayIfearlesslyfreefallintomylifewithtotalacceptance.ThatishowIabide.

III

MakingIttoPractice—DudeistLifestyleandTechniques

SELF-HELPCHOPPERIN’IN

TheDudeismHelpingtoAbideMovement(DHAM)

Traditional religion canno longer provide answers to our bigquestionsabout“life,theuniverse,andeverything.”Sowhenitcomes to finding solace in a world that seems to have gonecrazy,peopleareincreasinglylefttotheirowndevices.Unfortunately,aswe’vepointedout,thosedevicesareusually

exactly that—devices. That is, technological gadgets designedto distract us momentarily from despair. You know, for kids.They’ve produced exciting things in hyperactive electronicware:iPods,TVs,computerporn,andvideogames.Waveofthefuture, dude—100 percent electronic. And ultimately, 100percent unsatisfying. But then, that’s the point—consumerculture isn’t designed to satisfy us or provide lastingcontentment. If it did, their revolutionwouldbeoverand thebumswouldwin.In1955,afamousmarketingstrategistwrote:

Hisname?VictorLebow. Is therea literal connectionhere?Well dude, we just don’t know.43 Fortunately, gadgets andotherstuffaren’ttheonlysubstitutesforthecontentmentthatreligiononceprovided.Philosophicalbooks like thisonehavelongbeenkeepingmindslimberinordertomakesenseofthewholedurnhumancomedy.Andthisprobablyexplainswhythesubset of the book-publishing industry with the highestearningsiscalled“Self-Help.”These self-help folks we wanna tell you about, they call

themselves the Self-Help and Actualization Movement, orSHAM for short. Now, SHAM, that’s not an acronym anyonewouldself-applywherewecome from,but there’sa lotabouttheSelf-HelpandActualizationMovementthatdoesn’tmakealotofsensetous.For instance, we’re puzzled by its relative ineffectiveness.

Studies show that self-helpbooks, videos, tapes, and other oftheirpublishedtoolsandtechniquesrarelyimposeanypositiveorlong-lastingchangeonpeople’slives.Inhisbook

,SteveSalernofuckstheSHAMmers in theESTby suggesting that—like the “religion”of consumerism that predated it—the entire movement is afraudulent money-making scheme intentionally devoid of anyactual ability to help anyone. In other words, self-help booksare just gadgets meant to distract us momentarily, to beconsumedandthrownaway.Areyousurprisedathissneers?Don’tbe.Thepracticeofpurchasingpeaceofmindhaslong

been a central part of human spirituality. This is what thereligions of old warned us about: Icon worship, dude. Orperhaps,“iCons,”intheparlanceofourTMs.Sowhat—Salerno thinks thecapitalistpigstersdid this? It’s

allagoddamnfake?IsitlikeLeninsaid?WearetheWal-marts?Welldude,we justdon’tknow.Afterall,when itcomestotheself-helpcommunity,we’llallow therearesomenice folksoutthere.Buttherearealsoplentyofdipshits, fuckingamateurs,human paraquat, and goddamn morons looking to make aneasy buck by capitalizing on themisery of themasses. You…

you…

As an antidote to the idea that self-help is composedprimarilyofcreepswhocan fucking roll in it,wepresentourown humble contribution to the SHAM corpus of thought.Basically, theseareDudeist reinterpretationsof someof theirmost well-known books. But don’t take them too seriously.We’renottryingtoSHAManyonehere,man.Wejustthinkthatmost of people’s self-help needs can be transmitted bywatching . It is our most modestly pricedreceptacle. From religion to consumerism to self-help toDudeism.Down through thepages, across the ampersandsoftime.WedroppedofftheDHAMmoney.Thefollowingaresummariesoftake-it-easymanuscriptsthat

are not yet finished.We’ve got fourmore detectives down atthelabworkingonthecase.Got’emworkinginflip-flops.

TheSevenSpiritualLawsofTakin’’ErEasy

DeepakChopra’smostfamousbook,, may not have been the first self-help guide to

conflate“spirituality”withfinancialsuccess,butitwasthefirstonecleverenoughtostickthemtogetherinthetitle.Asyou’llsee inallourself-helpbooksbelow,choosingasnappytitle ishalf the game. After coming upwith a great title, a self-helpbook practically writes itself. Hey, that’s probably one of thespirituallaws.Anyway,here’sasummaryoftheDudeistversionofChopra’sground-breakingbook:

1.TheLawofNotDoingAnything

In, Tom Lutz wrote extensively and

painstakinglyaboutnotdoinganything.Thebookisalmost400pageslong,andwritingitmusthavebeenexhausting.Buttheauthor did have a point. And itwas a good one—that no onedoesnothingforever.Notuntilthey’redead,anyway.Thefearof doing nothing (or failure or inertia or boredom ordepression)couldbeseenasaclosecousintothefearofdeath.But don’t be worried about that shit! Life literally goes on,man.Restassured (or just rest) thateventuallyyou’llhave togetupoffthecouch.Orelseyoureallywillbedead.Onceyourealizethis,youcanstopworryingandrelaxcompletely.Thenyou’lldiscoverthattrulydoingnothingisoneoflife’sgreatestpleasures.

2.TheLawofMakingIttoPractice

They say “practice makes perfect.” But who wants to beperfect? For some of us, years of math classes and pianolessons and shit like that have rendered the word “practice”rather unappealing. What they don’t tell you is that if it’ssomething you love to do, practice is just another word for“play.”Andthemoreyouplaysomething,themoreyoudigitsstyle. In that case, the pleasure comes not frommaking it tothe finals,but fromrealizing that“it’s justagame,man”andthat you’re lucky to get a lane in the first place. Don’t thinkabout whether you’re going to enter the next round-robin ornot.Thisisnotyourhomework,Larry.Thisisaleaguegame.

3.TheLawofBeingThere,Man

Therearesomanystrandsinourheadsthesedays,man.It’sacomplicated case, this life. We’re always trying to make itbetter, to figure it all out. But it’s never going to get betterbecausewe’llalwaysbelookingtotakethenexthill.Andwe’llnever figure it out because when you figure one thing out,anothercomplicatedcasepopsup.Sosometimesyou’vegottojust say, “Fuck it,” and just go bowling or just sit back andwatchthecycle.WhentheDudetellshislandlord“I’llbethere,man” he means it. He really will take in the whole “cycle,”everybizarregesture,nomatterhow ludicrous thestorymayseemtobe.He’ll try todigthestyle,even ifhedoesn’tknowwhat the fuck isgoingon.AsWoodyAllensuggested,“Eightypercentofsuccessisjustshowingup.”

4.TheLawofLaziness

What the Taoists call , we call Dude Way. It is theprinciple that by doing what comes easy to you, you’ll getthingsdonewithoutwastingexcessenergyortryingtoohard.Thisisalsoknownasthe80-20principle(thoughDudeistscallitthe“MarkitEightPrinciple”).The80-20principlesaysthat

20percentofyouractions lead to80percentofyour results.Sowhatyoudois,figureoutwhichiswhich,thenonlydothe20percentandblowofftheother80.Thatwayyoucanbumpyourselfintoahigherlaxbracket!44

5.TheLawofThoseAretheFuckingRules

Inthe20thcentury,nihilistscameupwiththeideathattherewerenorulestogiveashitabout.Itsoundedlikeagoodidea,but they didn’t do very well at it. People need rules, man.Without rules, this sentence could not exist. Nothing couldexist.Everythingwouldbefacedowninthemuck,ifnotmuckitself. That’s why Walter, a devout Jew, prefers Nazis overnihilists. “At least it’s an ethos,” he says. Though Nazis didsome horrible shit, if nihilists were in charge, things wouldlikelybecomefarworse.Thereasonthatit’spopularthesedaystodisregardrulesor

flagrantlybreakthemisbecausealotofthetimetheruleswehave to follow are bad ones thought up by real reactionariesonly looking out for the one who will benefit (themselves).That’s why it’s important to know when to break the rules.Here’sasimpleanswer to tattooonyour forehead:Break theruleswhenitdoesn’thurtanybodyelse.WhenSmokey’stoeslipsoverthelinealittle,Walterpointsa

gun at him, enforcing the rules. But Smokey’s not toeing thelineexactlyishardlyapolicematter.TheDuderemindsusthatrulesaresometimesfuzzyaroundtheedges.Ruleshelpustake’ereasybynothavingtothinksomuchandtogetalongwitheachother,butwhentheymakelifetoocomplicatedorpainful,theyneedtorejectpriorrestraint.

6.TheLawofFuckingListeningOccasionally

Theproblemwithsomelazypeopleisthattheycanbesooftenlost in daydream sequences that they miss out on real life.

DaydreamsareofvitalimportancetotheDudeistmind-setandlifestyle,buttheycanalsofuckupthemostsimpleplaniftheypreventusfrompayingattention.Thetrickistoknowwhentofucking listen occasionally and learn something and when tosay, “Fuck it,” or “I’m sorry, I wasn’t listening.” There is somuchtolistentothesedaysthatit’simportanttotakethetimetogoin,tuneout,andkickback.Otherwise,allthestrandsinol’Duder’sheadwillgettangledupandmakehimorherveryun-Dude.Butnot listeningatallwill turnyouintoagoddamnmoronorafuckingdunce.

7.TheLawofAchievingtheModestTaskWhichisYourCharge

Ahfuckit,sixlawsisenough.

FuggedaboudtheFunnyShtuff

In ,RichardCarlsonencouragedeveryone to stopworryingaboutall the irrelevant shit thatwe tend to stress out about in ourlives.Unfortunately,the“smallstuff”isthestuffofwhichlivesaremade,andpeoplejustcan’tresistgettingallwrappedupinit no matter how many books with platitudinous titles youwrite.Whyisthat?KurtVonnegutsaidthatthereasonpeoplearesokeentofuck

up their lives is because they’ve seen too many fairy tales.People see soap operas, the , or moviesandthinkthattheirownlivesaresupposedtobefullofdrama.Sotheylatchontoallthesmallstuff intheir livesandinflatethings way out of proportion, picking fights, or doing shittythings topeople close to them.Or they feel like theyhave to“shake things up,” because that’s what they’ve learned fromthewayHollywoodandrealityTVfixatesonallthepettystuffinlifeandmakesitluridlyentertaining.

However, the fictional stories we enjoy are only a smallportionofthelivesoftheircharacters.Whatyoudon’tseearethe repercussions afterward—of how small stuff begets moresmall stuff to worry about: after the dramatic love story, theboringmarriagethatendsindivorce.Aftertherisetothetopof fame and fortune, the hero has to contend with badinvestmentsandbickeringwith familymembers.After findingthegoldenringandbringing itback to thevillage, thewholevillage getting sacked and burned by a jealous neighboringtribe. All those characters ultimately find themselves saying,“Thiswholefuckingthing.Icouldhavejusthadpeestainsonmyrug.”Buttheydon’tshowthatpart.

,while showingmany characterswho arecaughtupinthedramaofthesmallstuffintheirlives,featuresa character who does his best to fuggedaboud all theunimportant funnyshtuff thatmost folksusuallyworryabout.TheDude’sstorybafflesalotofmoviegoersbecausehedoesn’tachieve anything in the film. Yet, what he achievedshowninthemovie:notfinancialsuccessorahottrophywife,butapeacefulandplacid trophy life.Thegoalof theDude isnot achievement, but peace of mind. When we reorientourselvestoseetheworldthroughhisshades,itmayseemlessbright and loud and thrilling than the movies, but it’s a lotmorepleasantoverall.So, whereas featured a list of

strategiestogetaheadin life,teachesyoutostoptryingtoliveyourlifelikeamovie.Can’tbeworriedaboutthatshit.Lifegoeson,man.Moviesendafter90minutes.

LimberalThinking

EdDeBonopopularizedtheterm“lateralthinking”backinthe’70s, around the time of our trouble with the Vietnamese.Lateralthinkingwasmeanttobeamorecreativewayofusingour brains than the strict, linear, and hierarchical mode that

mostpeoplewere familiarwith.When theDude says thathis“thinking about this case has become very uptight” butconcedes that “fortunately I’m adhering to a strict drugregimentokeepmymindlimber,”he’stalkingaboutthiskindofthinking.Ofcourse,drugscanbeconsideredoptional.So this here limberal thinking we wanna tell you about is

lateralthinkingplustheDude’s“limberthinking”plus“limbicthinking.”What’sLimbicThinking?Somekindof limbothing?Far from it. Limbic refers to the limbic system, a part of thebrainassociatedwithmotivation,emotion,andthesenses.See, the thing about lateral thinking is that it deals

exclusively with concepts. Limberal thinking deals withimpressions and feelings as well. The Dude thinks with hiswhole body. People forget that the brain is the biggesterogenous zone. You’ve heard of emotional intelligence? Callthis dudemotional intelligence. It’s where all the interestedparties (body, feelings, thinking)meet, in bed with everyone,playingonesideagainsttheother.Fabulousstuff.Notmanylearnedmenhavedisputedthis.Butthat’sbecause

we just thoughtof it.Anyway, it’sa fieldof study forsmarterfellers than ourselves to officially investigate. We don’tremembermuchfromcollege.

IronicJeff

In1990,famedpoetRobertBlywrote, which asked the big question of ,

namely:“Whatmakesaman?”OnlyBlymeantitmoreliterally—whatcanmendototrulybecomemen?Asaresponsetothe“softmale”whowassupposedlyintouch

withhis feminine sideat thecost ofhismasculine,Bly’s was also an attempt to initiate males from boys into a

traditionalformofmanhood.While the softmale (or “girlymen,” asNeanderthal Arnold

Schwarzenegger derisively called them) hasn’t much been invoguesinceAlanAlda’spersonainthe’70s,eternalyouthswho

refusetogrowupseemtobeabigproblemtoday.Beginninginthe’90s(aroundthetimewhen wasset),Blyand other self-help authors like Dan Kiley (

have been goading guys to grow up and bemen.Even wacky Judd Apatow movies are ultimately complicit inthis criticism—after celebrating freewheeling overgrownadolescents for 75 minutes, Apatow’s stories always wrapthingsupwiththeman-boystossingthebongasidetobecomepillarsoftheircommunity.Themessage is clear—growup,get a job,getmarried, and

have kids, or you’ll end up a deadbeat, a loser, someone thesquarecommunitydoesn’tgiveashitabout.However,forthosewiththedudeterminationandfortidudeto

doso,not“growingup”inthetraditionalsensemaywellbeahee-roicandexcellentadventureontheorderofBillandTed.See,formostofhistory,notgrowingupmeantthatyouliterallywouldn’tgrowup—inotherwords,you’dprobablydie.Andsowouldeveryoneelse.Lifewashard,andmenhadtopulltheirweightbydoingexactlywhattheirfathersdid,includingkillinganimals and rival humans. Things, of course, are differenttoday.Men(andwomentoo)stillneedtoworkandcompeteabit,butunlike inourprimitivedays,wecanbeanythingwe’dlike to be and competition is a lot friendlier. And the verynature of our social reality is changing ever more rapidly.Rememberthatin1990theDudehadprobablynotevenheardoftheinternet.Bly’sprescriptionformentoembracetheirdark,violent,and

bloody side in order to become “whole” is like saying thatwomenneedtogivebirthtobabiestobecompletewomen.Wemayhavesomebiologicalbaggageandinstinctlyingdormant,but thatdoesn’tmeanwehave toawaken it to feelgood.Blydisparagestheincreasingnumbersofmenwhorefusetogrowup, labeling them “fly boys.” A protégé of Sigmund Freud,Marie Von Franz, disparagingly labeled them .This is all very ironic, since “flight” and “eternal youth”havebeentwoofhumankind’smostlong-standingdesires.YetuntiltheDude camealong, these free birds of youth had very few

respectableandresoluterolemodels.Disciples of Bly had Iron John urging them to revive some

kindofprimordialmasculinityfromtheIronAgewhenmenhadtogrowup,forgetools,andkillthings.ButinthispostmodernAge of Irony, we Dudeists choose instead to align ourselveswithIronicJeff.Exemplifyinghowtojusttakeiteasy,man,Jeff“Dude” Lebowski helps us look at life with humorous,lighthearted affection instead of viewing it as somethingbeastlytoattackwithsharpsticks.TheDudeistrulythemanfor this time and place. And we can be as well, should wechooseTheRoadLessRambled.

UPCOMINGTITLES

ThePowerofSpliff(How to Befriend Losers and Influential People (

Man’sSearchforMeeting(Dudenetics/Abidentology (Dianetics/Cybernetics/Scientology)The Power of Positive Thankie (

AwakenthePliantWithin(LearnedSlobtimism(DudEST(TheESTMovement)TheSellerstineProphecy(SecretShitHasCometoLight(FormoreDudeistself-helpbooks,ortosuggestideasto

us,pleasevisitoursite:dudeism.com/DHAM.

TheRoadLessRambled

M.ScottPeckborrowedalineincorrectlyattributedtoRobertFrost—“TheRoadNotTaken”inhis1978book

—to describe the difficulty and value of the spiritual

path. Dudeism agrees with Peck, only we’re not sure thatspiritualityhastobeaslog.Taoismwould suggest that the spiritual path should be the

easiest—oncewerealizewhichdirectiontheflowisgoing,wecan take ’er easy and float alongwith the current. The hardpart isn’t in therambling—it’s instayingoutof thewayofalltheotherdipshitsstrugglingtoplowagainstthecurrent.Asaresult, the spiritually adeptmust findhis refuge fromsociety,either in his or her private residence, or by living away fromthe “madding crowds.” He or she must avoid temples andtestaments of the un-Dude—shopping malls, televisioncommercials,fashion,technologicalfetishism,andsoon.To go with the flow, you have to go against the grain. As

we’ve said, it’s no easy thing to take it easy. There’s just somuchpressurefromthesquarecommunity,fromourcompeers,and from those in charge of scheduling, to make everythingharderthanitneedstobe.

ThePowerofNotNow

Eckhart Tolle became something of an overnight sensationafterhisbook waspublishedin1999.It’sanalternatelyinspiringandconfoundingbookthatbounceswilly-nillybetweenrationalcommonsenseandpresumptuousNew-Ageism.We’ve got nothing against Tolle, and consider him rather

Dudelyindeed,butwe’dliketofollowhisexegesison“livinginthe moment” with a modest addition: “lounging in themoment.”Whenmostself-helpbooks tellyou to“live in themoment,”

theirintentionistofreeyoufromanyremorseofthepastandanxietyaboutthefuture.Farout.Theonlyproblemisthatthisisalleasiersaidthandone—nooneseemstoknowhowtodoit.Ironically, one of the most popular new-age prescriptions iscalled “creative visualization,” where you imagine whateveryou’dliketohaveinyourlifeand“manifest”it.Butthismakes

nosense—whatismorepronetopreventyoufromlivinginthemomentthan imaginingstuffyou’d liketohave in the future?Don’tbefatuous,Ecky.Thetheoryisludicrous.Soweoffer thissimplerandmoresensiblesolution instead:

creativeprocrastination.Thepowerof .Thewaytoliveinthemomentistomakealistofallthethingsyou do,andthennotdothem.Enjoythesuddenfreedomfrompressureand responsibility as you shirk your duties with consciousdetermination! Relax and let your mind wander, and newpathways are likely to open up in front of your imaginationwithoutraisingyourbloodpressureonebit.When you finally decide to get up momentously from the

couch, it will be not because you should, but because dudeycalls,andyou’regoodandreadytotakethathill.

DUDERINOSUNANIMOUS

A12-StepProgramforPersonalDudevolution

We’re not sure why personal improvement programs alwaysrequire 12 steps. Nevertheless, Alcoholics Anonymouspioneered the ideaof the12-stepprogramandour version isinspiredbytheirs.Ourgoal issimilar to theirs,but insteadoftryingtoovercomealcoholornarcoticaddiction,theDuderinosUnanimousprogramismuchmoregeneral,designedtohelpusbemore“Dude”fromdaytoday.

1.Admitthatthewholeworldhasgonecrazy.Wemaybepowerlessoverit.Butwecantakecareof

ourownprivateresidence.

“Ajourneyofathousandmilesbeginswithasinglestep,”orsogoestheZenadage.Sometimesthegreatestjourneyofallcanbegin by doing the opposite—by refusing to take any moresteps. After somany people telling us what we should do tomake our lives better, the most dramatic act of self-improvementcanbetostop“trying”todoanything.Oncewerealize, “It’s all a game,” man, we can relax and get a lessuptightviewonthewholecase.

2.BelievethereisaDudeWaytotheuniverse.

Dudeism is a nontheistic religion, but that doesn’t mean wedon’tbelievethere’ssomethingtying“itall”together.Atleaston the humanistic level, the idea that there is a natural andharmoniouswayinwhichlifeunfoldsisnotonlyanimportantpartofTaoism,butisincreasinglybeingsuggestedbyscience—via disciplines like evolutionary psychology, complexitytheory,chaostheory,andotherfar-outnewshitthat’scurrentlycoming to light. Although academics may say everything isrelative, and somemystics say that life is all an illusion, theideathatthereisa“highroad”isattheveryleastausefulideathat canhelpus feel at home in theworld, or at least in ourownlittlecornerofit.

3.BedeterminedtofollowtheDudeWay.Andtofollowitfurtherondownthetrail.

One of the reasonswe can endupusheringunDudeness intoour lives is because everything is so complicated. Byconsciously following the Dude Way and practicing Dudeisttechniques, we can help simplify things and make sense ofwherewe’regoing.

4.Where’sthemeaning,Lebowski?It’sdowntheresomewhere,takeanotherlook.

Byalwaysbeingskepticalandalwayspursuingmeaningratherthanmaterial,wewillbringalimbernesstoourmindsthatcanrollwithanygutterballanddealwithallthedingsanddipshitsthatmaycomeourway. It isonlywhenwe feelunattached45thatwe abide;without strings, theworld can’t dragus alongwithitwhenitgoesfuckingcrazy.

5.Say,“Fuckit.”That’syouranswerforeverything.

Again,by leaving thestrands inourheadsunknotted,wecaneasily let them go. If things don’t work out, then leave themalone.We can try to tie it up sometime down the trail whenthingsgeteasier.Nosensewastingenergynowwhenyoucandothingsmoreefficientlylater.(See“SelfHelpChopperin’In,”page177.)

6.Takelongbathsandmeditateonyourrug.

The ethos of modern civilization is “Just do it,” but theDudeist’s is rather the opposite: “Just don’t do it,” or evenbetter, “Just dude it.” To do nothing takes courage anddiscipline, but in the end, the struggle will be worth it,resulting in greater peace of mind and appreciation for thesimplethingsinlife.Thiswillnothappenovernight!Alifetimeofbusinesspaperscannotbe towedaway inan instant.Whatareyounotwaitingfor?Don’tdoitnow!

7.WhatinGod’sholynamearetheyblathering

about?That’sjustliketheiropinions,man.

Lotsofpeoplewill tellyou thatyou’recrazy for following theDudeWay. Remember that you’re not the follower of a crazycult—theyare.Justbecausetherearemorepeopleintheircultdoesn’tmeantheirsisbetter.Also,havecompassionforthem—theyknownotwhattheyundude.Youreasygoinglifestyleisathreat to their entire worldview. But down deep they’re justuptightbullies,goingaroundblamingyouforthefactthatlifeisn’tfair.Theyhavetheirstory,youhaveyours.

8.BeDudetoeveryoneyoumeet.

There is no reason, there’s no FUCKING reason why youshould ever be un-Dude to anyone. You’ll never derive anybenefit from being a fucking asshole. Even when pederastscurseatyou,orofficersofthelawmakefunofyou,maintainaneasygoing attitude. People are afraid to be nice to strangersbecausetheymightlookstupid.Butstupidityisinthe“I”(ego)of the beholder. Anyone who doesn’t appreciate yourfriendlinessprobablydoesn’tdeserveitinthefirstplace.

9.Bethere,man.

Intheimmortalwordsof“righteousdude”FerrisBueller,“Lifemoves pretty fast. If you don’t stop to look around once in awhile,youcouldmissit.”Theartoflivingispracticedonaday-to-day basis. Say what you will about the tenets of painting,dance,music,andfilmmaking—thereisnohigherartthantheoneyoudoodlewithyour .Beasproudofthecanvasyou paint every day as you would of one they’d hang in theLouvre.

10.Stopmakingilliteralconnections.

TheDudemindshismind,man.That’sbecausewearenotourminds.Mindscanbe realworthy fuckingadversaries—alwaysmakingusfeelbadorconfusedordowninthedumps.AndtheycantrickusintothinkingeverythinghassomethingtodowithVietnam.Adoptingacool,rationalanddetachedattitudeabouteverything can help us appreciate life instead of beingfrightenedofit.Hey…nicemarmot!

11.Adheretoastrictdrugregimentokeepyourmindlimber.

WhiletheDudeadvocatesexternaldrugusebothinactionandwords, he means them only as a vehicle to greaterunderstanding,notescapefromtheworld.Though drugs have been demonized over the past few

decades,weneedtoacknowledgethatweareinfactondrugsall the time—our brains are constantly injecting serotonin,dopamine,adrenaline,opiates,andothernaturalformsofjunkinto our veins and our brains. To try to moderate this viameditation,consciousbehavior,andsometimesevensomewell-chosenexternalchemicals,isakintocooking—wejustneedtoget the recipes right to avoid suffering (mental ) healthproblems.Ofcourse,drugsaren’tnecessarytogethigh.Wecangetall

fucked up on life just by learning to see our lives as an acidflash-forward. By developing the powers of our imaginationthrough regular, determined daydreaming, reading, thinking,andotherpsychedelicpursuits,wecandramaticallyenrichthequality of our lives.Of course, like the real reactionaries andtheir pharma-illlogical lines in the sand, we too shoulddifferentiate these “good drugs” from the “bad drugs” uponwhich most of our population is heavily addicted: TV,consumerism, nonstop entertainment, violence, and status-

seeking.

12.SpreadtheDudeword.

The cool thing about Dudeism in general—and in particular—is that it’s a great shibboleth.

“Shibboleth” is a word from Biblical times that was hard forsomepeopletopronounceandsowasusedasasortoftesttoseeiftheywereactuallymembersofyour“league”ornot.In helping to spread the Dude word, you’re bound to find

other like-minded compeers, you know? The world can be adarkplaceifyoudon’thaveothersaroundwhodigyourstyle.What’smore,youmightevenhelp“save”borderlineassholes,fascists,dipshits,realreactionaries,andhumanparaquatwhomightbe looking foranexcuse to standup (or liedown)andjoin the Dude movement. Cast a chill upon the world, dude.Andmakeitfeelallwarminsideasaresult. !Fuckin’A,man.ToofficiallytaketheDuderinosUnanimousvow,pleasevisit:

dudeism.com/duderinos.

DUDEITATIONJustDropintoSeeWhatConditionYour

ConditionIsIn

It’seasytocriticizetheDudeforbeinglazy.ButcriticizingtheDudeforbeinglazy—well,that’sjustdownrightlazyinitself!Itignores the fact that theDude’s lifelong laziness is actually adifficult thing to pull off. So few of us are able to be aseffectivelylaid-backastheDude.Itwouldtakeyearsofdiligenttraining for us to begin to approach his Olympic–level ofindolence.Though the Stranger introduces the Dude by saying he’s

“quite possibly the laziest man in Los Angeles county, whichwould place him high in the running for laziest worldwide,”he’s either being fatuous or it’s just that he’s never been toEnglandorFrance,oranyplaceelsewithasocialistworkethic(none) or a culture focused primarily around drinking withfriends. Moreover, anyone who’s been to Los Angeles wouldneverapplythehandle“easygoing”toit.Truth is, there are countless men and women around the

worldfarlazierthantheDude.Infact,thelaziestamongthemhaveactuallymadeacareeroutof their laziness.And it’s thelifestyleoftheseingeniousgoldbrickingbumsthatwewanttoinnerduceyoutointhischapter.Like theDude, the careers of these deadbeats have slowed

downalittle.Butthat’sonlybecausetheircareersareallaboutslowingdownalittle.Perhapsyou’veheardaboutthesefolks—they’recalledmonks.Everyreligionhasthem,notjusttheIrishones. Of course, you don’t hear about them much becausethey’re generally too lazy to go on TV and yell intomicrophones, or write bestsellers, or maintain websites orcharity foundations, or initiate jihads, or hold bake sales.Despitewhatmost folksthink,beingamonk isnot justaboutgoingwithoutsexanddrugsandrealityTV.TheDudehassexand drinks and smokes pot, but he is still inmany regards amodern-dayholyman.That’sbecause, likehismoreorthodoxreligiousbrethren,hisprimaryoccupationistospendhisdaysworshipping.OnlyheworshipsandpaysobeisancenottoGod,buttolifeitself.Instead of separating the clergy (religious suit-wearing

workers)fromthemonkhood(religiousrobe-wearingslackers)

asotherreligionsdo,Dudeismcontends thateveryoneshouldbringalittlemonkintotheirlives.Wegottafeedthe“monky”!As in theDude’s life, there’s still time to bowl, drive around,and enjoy the occasional acid flashback, but themost sacredtime is when you create some sacred space, recharge yourbatteries, and indulge in some lucid (or even lurid) dreamsequences.Makesyoufeelallwarminside,tiesallthestrandsinyourheadtogether.Andafterward,itsuremakesiteasiertotakeiteasywhenyoucomedownfromyourbungalow-on-highandenteraworldofpain.Thekeytofeedingthemonky,tobringingalittlemonkhood

intoyour ’hood, isa little techniquecalled“dudeitation.”Andthough new-age magazines and gurus and publishingcompanies might not agree, you don’t need any specialinstructions or teaching to learn how to dudeitate. It’s likebowling.Infact,inmanywaysit’sexactlylikebowling.Youcanfigure it out for yourself, and though youmight suck at first,the more you do it, the better you get. But you have to berelaxedaboutitoryou’llneverproperlylearntodigitsstyle.Sure, some of those dudeitators youmight have seen don’t

look all that relaxed: Their backs are as straight as theproverbialrod(orjohnson),andtheirlegsaretwistedinwilderpositions than you’d find in a Jackie Treehornmovie.But theDude shows us that we can dudeitate in any situation orpositionwechoose:whiledoing withaWhiteRussianinonehand;whilelyingontherug,listeningtofouryear-oldaudiotapesofbowlingtournaments;whilesittinginthetubsmokinga jay; and while listening to tapes of whales bleating in thebackground. In short, there are infinite ways to dudeitatebecause dudeitation is not something you do. It’s somethingyou do.

,dude?WhatinDude’sholynameareweblatheringabout? Well, I’ll tell you what I’m blathering about. I’ve gotcertaininformation,man. hascometolight.

ANINNERDUCTIONTOLOOSENINGYOURTRAINOFTHOUGHT

1. Onthefloor,onthesofa,inarecliner,inthetub, Justmakesureyou’recomfortable.Alsomakesureit’squiet.Andthatnoonecandisturbyou.Turnthesoundoffonyouransweringmachine.Lockthedoor.Takeextracareifyouhaveanoutward-openingdooronyourhouse.

2. notWhatthefuckamItalkingabout?See,ifyou

try tonotthink,you’llfindyourselfthinkingabouthowyou’rethinkingaboutnotthinking.Thedance,youknow,thecycle?Itcanreallygiveyouarash.Sojustwatchyourthoughtsandletthemdriftbypleasantlylikemagiccarpetsinthesky.Donotgiveyourselfnotes.Remember,you’relikeachildwhowandersintothemiddleofamovie.Don’ttrytofigureoutwhatanythingmeansorwhat’sthefuckingpoint.Thereisnone,noristhereanyliteralconnection.

3.Justsitthere(orliethere,orhangthere,or

what-have-youthere)untilyouthinkyou’vedoneenough.Lotsofdudeitatorsmakeabigdealabouthowlongtheycandudeitate.Thatmustbeexhausting.Butthisisn’taleaguegame,man.Tenminutescanbefine.Evenoneminutecanhelpyousay,“Shutthefuckup,Brainy!”

4. It’syourroll.Youhavethenecessarymeans,necessarymeansforahigherlevelofconsciousness.

5. Buthowoftenyoududeitateisuptoyou.Haveityourway,dude.Iknowthatyouwill.

For more Dudeitation tips, please visit:

dudeism.com/dudeitation.There’s a principle in Eastern religion and philosophy that

theTaoists call , butwhich canbe found inBuddhismandHinduismaswell. literallymeans“not-do”andcanbetranslatedas“doingbynotdoing”or“doingwithouttrying.”Theideaisthis:Thereisanaturalflowtothings,andtheDudeamonguswillridethatflowandallowittodropuswhereweneedtobe.The un-Dude, on the other hand will struggle against the

current, doing things the hard way, making waves whereverthey go, crashing into everyone headed downstream, andgenerally churning things up so that the clarity andpeacefulnessofoursurroundings is lost.Theywilldothisoutof impatienceor tohold fast tosomedesiredcourseofactionor ideal outcome. They’re not wrong, exactly; they’re justassholes.Soundlikesomeoneweknow?SomeonewhoforcesVietnam

intoeveryconversation,whomakes“fool-proof”plansthatfuckeverything up, who pulls his piece out on the lanes becausesomeone’s toeslippedover the line? Inshort,dudeitation isaway to get our innerWalter to just take it easy and shut thefuckupsothattheDudecantakethewheel.Of course, as we’ve said, it’s not easy to “not do” things.

We’ve been told our whole lives, “Don’t just sit there, dosomething.”But toooften theopposite is best: “Don’t just dosomething, sit there.” The Dude and other funky monks likehimselfaremastersofthelatter.Why?Becausetheyknowthatlifeisnotallaboutaction.It’salsoaboutbeing.Do-bedo-be-do,dude.Oursocietyhassorelyneglectedthevalueofonetothedetrimentof theother.And it takesboth inequalmeasure tomakelifeawholedurnhumancomedy.Whatmeditationdoesisteachushowto“notdo”byliterally

practicing how not to do it. Any meditator can tell you, themoreyoutrytomeditate,theharderitistodo.Youhavetojustletithappenwithoutinterference.It’stheultimateirony,isn’tit? And yet it’s the basis of all creative effort, from coitus topaintingtofiguringoutacomplicatedcase.Itistheessenceofthelimbermind,itisastrictdrugregimen,andthedrugislifeitself.MindifIdoado-be?

Althoughit’shilariousthattheDudemeditatesblissfullytoatape of an old bowling tournament, it’s also an incrediblyprofound and effective way to prepare for a tournament. Byplacing himself in the context of a stressful situation andallowinghimselftorelaxandfeelgoodaboutit,theDudewillknowhowtoremaincalmwhenhereallydoeshavetofaceoffagainst worthy fucking adversaries. Although the Dudesometimes gets frazzled and becomes “verrry un-Dude,” asWalterhappilypointsout,weallcanlearnfromhowquicklyhesettlesbackintohisabidinglycalmcenterwhilecruisinglife’sproverbial rocky ride. “Can’t beworried about that shit! Lifegoeson!”hesaysafterlosingamilliondollarsandhiscar,andbeingthreatenedwithcastration.Byallaccounts,it’sthesamewithworld-classmeditators: Theymight startworrying aboutshit, but not for long; they quickly catch themselves beforedarknesswarshesoverandthereisnobottom.There’s a lot to like about the Dude. But there’s one thing

thatstandsoutabovealltherest:hiscalm,collectedcharacterinthefaceofcatastrophe.Don’tweallwishwecouldbealittlemoreDudeinsimilarsituations?Oreveninfarlessworrisomeones?However, if theDude’sprivate life isanythingtogoon,he wasn’t born that way—it took years of “making it topractice”tomakehimtheenlightened-upDudethatheis.Waveofthepresent,dude.SurfthebosomofthePacific.

THISAGGRESSIONWILLNOTSTAND

DudeJitsu,theDudeistArtofSelf-Defense

“Theeffectoftighteninguponthemindistomakeitunfree.”

“Whatthefuckareyouthinking?”

Themartialartstodayaren’tassociatedwithtakingiteasy.Amongthereasonsforthismisperceptionissomethingcalled

the “mixed martial arts” (MMA). More a form of brutishbrawlingthanasophisticatedmodeofdefense,MMAincludessometechniquesfromtraditionalAsianfightingcombinedwithGreek boxing and wrestling, Roman gladiator combat, and afreshlyopenedcanofredneckbarroomwhup-ass.Even those oldmovies from the ’70s,where everybodywas

kungfufighting,areuptight.Allthatrunningaround,leaping,andscreamingallovertheplacewhilebeatingthehelloutofeachother…it’salldownrightun-Dude.Couldn’ttheyhavejustworkedthingsoutoveroatsodasorriceManchurians?Otherapparentdisconnectsbetween theDudeWayand the

martialartsinclude:•Therearerulesandstrictregimensyouhavetofollowinthemartialarts,somethingtheDudewouldprobablyfind

exhausting.

•TheDudewas a pacifist,was henot?Evenwhen facedwith castration, he never resorted to using a swiftroundhouse kick to the head of the johnson-cuttingnihilistsheencountered.We’renotdealingwithBillyJackorevenChuckNorris,46here.

Still, the Dude managed to abide through threateningsituationsin withoutspillinghisbeverageorending up in a Folger’s canwithDonny.Howwas he able toprevail over all the rampant unDudeness around him, remain

truetohispacifism,andstillabide?Wasitjustluck,orwashepracticing a secret martial art that we’ve uncovered calledDudejitsu?Thisisourconcern.

BruceLee:ABrotherDudeist?

Eventhoughheonlyweighed135pounds,whenitcomestothemartialarts(andlife),BruceLeewasnotexactlyalightweight.In fact, the movies this Asian-American martial arts mastermadeinthe1970sprettymuchsingle-handedlycreatedanewmoviegenreandpopularizedmartialartsinAmerica.Asswiftandaslethalinhismovesasariledcobra,Leewas

notaChinamanwhodevelopedhisprowessbyworkingontherailroads.Hepracticeddaily forsixtotenhours,whichreallyisn’taverylazy,Dude-likewayof living.Nonetheless,whenitcame to his overall life philosophy, Lee had a lot in commonwith the Dude’s basic ethos. In particular, there were threecoretenetsofLee’sphilosophythatwouldhavehadtheDuderaisinghisWhiteRussiantohim:AuthenticityOnstayingtruetooneself,Leesaid:

Never one for pretense, the Dudewas always at easewithhimself andhadobviously spentmuchofhis life avoiding thesquarecommunity’sideasofsuccess.GoingwiththeFlowAs high-strung as he appeared to be in his movies, Lee

nonethelessbelievedthattobeatruemartialartist,youhadtolearntorelaxandgowiththeflow:

While the Dude had his moments when his thinking hadbecome uptight, he always returned to the natural flow ofthingsbyflowinglikeKahlúaoverice,orsoakinginabathtubfullofwater.SimplicityBruce Lee also believed thatmartial arts should be simple.

Heknewthatonceatechniqueorastylebecametoocomplex,everythingcouldgowrong:

These three aspects of the Dude’s way of life and Lee’sphilosophy,whichhecalled ,alladdup to livingsimply,authentically,andinbalancewiththeuniverse.AnotherattributetheDudeandLeehaveincommonisthey

didn’tgetalluptightaboutlivinginthepast.Like many masters before him, ranging from the Shaolin

monksto sMr.Miyagi,Leewasn’tinterestedinmaintaining3,000yearsofbeautifulmartialartstradition.Heknewthatthetruespiritofthemartialartsis likeZen,whichliberates you from the ego’s false consciousness to flow righthereandnowwiththecosmicgroove.In other words, practicing the martial arts can help you

abide.

YouTaketheWuWei,andI’llTaketheDudeWay

Thissenseofauthenticbalancethatthemartialartsengenderiswhymanystyles, includingLee’s , incorporateTaoism’sancientyin-yangiconintotheiremblems.

Thissymbol,representingharmony,unity,andbalance,reallytiesthenatureoftheuniversetogetherandfitsright intherewith the abiding martial arts ethos. It represents more thanjustbeingatonewitheverything,though.Onadeeperlevel,itembodies the vital creative energy thatTaoismbelieves flowsfrom,andpermeatesthrough,thiscosmiconeness.Manylearnedwomenandmenthroughoutthecenturieshave

disputedthisenergy’snomenclature: , ,andwhatnot.Butwhen thewhole concept abates, it really just comes down to“the rhythm, the driving power in all nature, the orderingprinciple behind all life,” as world religions expert HustonSmithputit.From this yin-yang principle emerges that important Taoist

tenetthatmanymartialartistsshare: or “non-doing.”Nottobeconfusedwithjustbeinglazy, actuallyreferstothenatural,spontaneousflowyouexperiencewhenyourlifeisn’t all uptight and is lived instead from a relaxed yin-yangcenter.“Thepersonwhoembodiesthiscondition,”Smithblathered,

“…acts without strain, persuades without argument, iseloquent without flourish, and achieves results withoutviolence,coercion,orpressure.”Soundsa lot likeabidingintheDudeWay,doesn’t it?Parts,

anyway.

PacifismIsNotSomethingtoHideBehind

TheDude’sdefinitelysimpaticowiththenon-doingpartofthemartialarts.Becausehewearsprofessionalmartialartsshoeswhiledoingsomethingverysimilartoa moveonhisrug,he even seems to know something about these Asiandisciplines.Yet,theDudewasapacifisttoo.Evenwiththewhole

thing going on, there’s no getting around the “martial” inmartial arts. Given the kick-ass mentality of today’s MMAculture, pacifism and martial arts may seem contradictory.

Consideringtheparadoxicalyin-yangspiritofthemartialarts,though,thetwoareinharmonyandevenpromoteakick-back-and-abideethos.It’slikethefounderofmodernkarate,MasterGichinFunakoshi,said:

As someone who was very skilled at being high, the Dudecertainly took Funakoshi’s maxim to heart. Even with thejohnson-cutting nihilists, he wanted to end his predicamentcheaplyandpacifythemwithoutresortingtoviolence.Andthat’swhatDudejitsuisallabout.The confrontation in the bowling alley parking lot between

thenihilistsandWalter,Donny,andtheDudeisagoodexampleofDudejitsuinaction(orinaction).WhiletheDudejustwantsto gowith the flow and hand over to the nihilists,Walter resists andmeets their threatened forcewith his ownthreatofforce.Althoughthethreebowlingbuddiesgettokeeptheir bullshit money as a result, the stress generated byWalter’saggressivewayultimatelykillsDonny.Wasitworththecost?Sure, Walter may have been in the dumps and lost a little

moneyhadhepracticedsomeDudejitsuhere,butalifewouldhave alsogoneon,man.ThoughWaltermaybe a skilled andeffective warrior, when it comes to the true spirit of martialarts,heistragicallyoutofhiselement.

TheArtofDudeJitsu

That’swhywearerevealinghereforthefirsttimethesecretsof Dudejitsu. In a world filled with too many hee-roes dyingfacedowninthemuck,webelievethetimeisrighttoturnyouontothisnonviolentpractice(ornon-practice).Theparkinglotfightwiththenihilistsisanextremeexample

ofapplyingDudejitsu inadangeroussituation.As theworld’s

laziest martial art, this form of self-defense is usuallynonphysicalandalotmorepassivethanthat.Somemightevencall Dudejitsu passive-aggressive, which rather than beingpejorative,accuratelyreflectsitsinherentyin-yangbalance.Likemostmartial arts, Dudejitsu is rooted in keeping your

mindlimberandabidinginthe flowrepresentedbytheyin-yang.Unlikeothermartialarts,thislevelofawarenessisn’tachieved through grueling physical workouts. In order topractice it, all youhave to do is just take it easy,which is inharmony with the essence of a Japanese martial art called

.47isconsidereda“soft”martialart,asopposedto“hard”

formsthatmeetanopponent’sforcewithhard,solidkicksandstrikes. In ,which literallymeans “art of softness,” youdon’tmeetanopponent’sphysical forcewithyourown force.Instead, like water, or , you flow with the opponent’sforceanduseitagainstthemtothrowthemoffbalanceandflipthemontothefloorbeforetheyevenknowwhat’shappening.Dudejitsu follows the same basic approach, only with one

important difference: There’s no physical harm intended.Instead, itusesanuptightperson’s against themto throw them off balancementally and then to flip them offverballybeforetheyevenknowwhat’shappening.Fabulousstuff,man.Butsomemaywonderifitqualifiesasa

martialart.Webelieveitdoesbecause,likemostmartialarts,Dudejitsu

can trace its lineage a-way back into the mists of time to afellerbythenameofBodhidharma.

TheBigWu-bowski

Legend has it that Bodhidharma was a Buddhist monk fromIndia in the 5th or 6th century who rambled off to China toteachmonksintheShaolinBuddhistmonasteryhowtoabideinpracticingZen.

TheShaolinmonksmusthavebeentaking’erabittooeasyat themonastery before he got there, however, because theyweren’t limber enough to keep up with Bodhidharma’smeditativeprowess.So, tohelpkeep themonks’mindsandbodiesagileenough

forhisformofabiding,BodhidharmacombinedZenmeditationwitharigorousphysicalregimenof the fightingstyleshehadlearned back in India. In the process, according to the story,this combination established what would become known as

.Asaresult,Bodhidharmaiscreditedwithinspiringthebulkofmartialartsforms(andahitTVseriesfromthe1970s)thatevolvedfromShaolin .AlthoughtheinfluenceofBodhidharma’smeditation/physical

trainingisobviousinmostmartialartsstyles,notmanypeopleare privy to how he also influenced the lazy and passive-aggressive art ofDudejitsu. It canbe found in the story48 ofBodhidharma’s visit to the emperor of China…a Chinamannamed Wu. The Big Wu-bowski, as some have called theemperor,hadinvitedBodhidharmatohispalacetodiscussthetenetsofBuddhism.When hemet the emperor, though, Bodhidharma foundWu

verbally micturating all over the Dharma with selfimportantarrogance.“No,notontheDharma,man,”Bodhidharmamuttered.After listening to the emperor go on about all the karmic

merithehadachievedinhislifetime,theZendudetoldtheBigWu-bowski: “The Buddha spoke of no-mind, man, the non-attachmenttolife’sillusions.Yourkarmicachievementswillnotstand.Yourillusorymeritwillnotstand,man.”Theemperorwastakenoffbalancebysuchinsolence.“What

in Buddha’s holy name is Guatama’s most fundamentalteaching,then,younitwit?”Wudemanded.“Um,vastemptiness?”Bodhidharmaoffered.“Isthata…what

sutraisthat?”TheBigWu-bowskiwas infuriatedbyBodhidharma’s casual

indifference.“Whodoyouthinkyouare?!”heyelled,slamminghisfistdownontheimperialthrone.

“Ihavenoidea,man…sir,”Bodhidharmashrugged,recliningintohischairandslidingonapairofjadesunglasses.

PracticingDudeJitsu

In thisclassicexampleofDudejitsu,BodhidharmawentalongwithEmperorWu’srigidunDudenessanduseditagainsthim,throwinghimoffbalancebeforeflippinghimoffwithaverbalparry at the end. With Bodhidharma’s limber mind, heremained centered in and was cool as clear waterwarshingoverstonesatthebottomofamountainstream.That’s the key connection betweenDudejitsu and abiding—

stayingcoolinthe flowofthings.Themorestressedoutyour thinking is, the more uptight you become; the moreuptightyoubecome,themoreshutoffyouarefromtheDudeWay’s natural flow; the more uncentered you are from notabiding in this flow, the less able you are to flip off theunDudenessaroundyou.Throughout , the Dude effortlessly

demonstrates his passive-aggressive mastery of the ancientpractice of Dudejitsu. When he encounters the un-Dude, hislimberness ofmind almost always allows him to sidestep andflip themoffwithout losinghis cool, deflecting their negativeenergybackonto themand letting theirangeroruptightnessburnthemout.BecausepracticingDudejitsurequiresdude-icationtotaking

it easy, it may appear deceptively easy to do. If you’re notflowinginthedeepcurrentsoftheDudeWay whenyoudeal with the un-Dude, it’s amazing how quickly you’ll findyourself stuck face down in the muck of their unDudeness.Asidefromfollowingastrictdrugregimen,therearewaysyoucan keep your mind limber enough to prevent that fromhappening.You wanttoknow.First, regularly incorporate into your daily life the abiding

principles of dudeitation and Dudeist yoga outlined in thisguide.Aswitheverythingelseinlife,allofthesepracticesare

really just different names for different aspects of the sameessential yin-yang thing going on. The more these practicesbecome an integral part of your routine, the more yourconsciousness will loosen up and float along with the DudeWay’sflow.Asyourmindbecomesmorelikewater—orperhapsmorelike

Kahlúa—you’ll develop a level ofmindfulness thatwill enableyoutokeepgoingwiththeflowevenwhenconfrontedwiththeun-Dude.

TheDude’sNoMind

This sensibility is an important part of practicing themartialarts aswell as abiding in theDudeWay. There is a JapaneseZen expression that means “mind of no mind.” It basicallyrefers towhen yourmind is free of all ego concerns and youare totally at ease in the current moment. In Japanese, it’scalled .InEnglish,weDudeistsrefertoitas .Once you have attained this frameless frame of reference,

grasshopper, you, too, will be a Dudejitsu master. AncientChinesesecret?Farfromit.For more study into the ancient art of Dudejitsu, please

visitdudeism.com/dudejitsu.

SOMEKINDOFYOGA

ANatural,ZestyExercise

Ifyousquintalittle,theDudelookslikeawiseoldAsiansage:robe, sandals, long hair, and a goatee. The robe may bepolyester (we own an exact replica), the sandals plastic (gotthosetoo),andthegoateeafewshadespalerthanyou’dfindinChina,butperhapsdowndeephecarries thesoulofLaoTzuwithhim.Oratleast,alow-rentAlanWatts.Ofcourse,thisisnoaccident:Anyonewhohadanactiverole

in the ’60s cultural revolution should be at least leisurelyfamiliar with a variety of Eastern philosophies and practices.TheDudemanagestomixalittleWestintohisEast,however.

Hepracticesabitof , butwithaWhiteRussian inonehand; he has a book of Japanese cooking on his coffee tablenext to In-n-Out Burgerwrappers; he performs a bit of whatmight be (a Chinese energy meditation) whilelisteningtobowlingandBobDylan;herespondswith“Whatisthat, some kind of Eastern thing?” when confronted with anobscure old Western cowboy aphorism; and finally, just afterengagingincoituswithMaudeheseesherclutchingherkneestoherchinandinquires,“Whatisthat,somekindofyoga?”AtnopointinthemoviedoesheappearanexpertOrientalist,buthe clearly digs a lot of the Asian style, even if he’s hardlyorthodox in his approach to these all-too-transcendentaltraditions.Eversincethe’60s,Asianspiritualityhasbecomeintegrated

inWestern culture—parts anyway. Though itmay not pray inPeoria,“Easternthings”areabigpartoftheself-helpandnew-agecorpus—thatstrangeandseemingly incompatiblemeetingpointwheremetaphysicsandmerchandisingintermingle.Echoing the Dude’s query to Maude, one of the Asian

traditionsthathasmostcapturedtheimaginationoftheWestisknownas .Ifweunderstandit ,yogaisaseriesof physical exercises designed to give you the biceps ofMadonna, the sexual stamina of Sting, and the earningpotentialofDeepakChopra.Thetruthis,though,yogacanbeall those things. Physical-exercise yoga is called ,sexual/sensualyogaiscalled ,andChopra’sshrewdrebrandingofancientideasiscalled .Haha,justkidding.Uh, ?Well,dude,wejustdon’tknow.We’llhavetocheckwithouraccountant.Butyogaisalsomuchmorethanthis.There are seemingly infinite varieties of yoga, all seen as

paths toward the same central enlightenment. This is howHinduism is able to be both polytheistic and monotheistic atthesametime—theysay,“Truthisone,thoughthesagesspeakof it bymany names.” Thus,Maude’sweirdwriggling on thebed designed to make the Dude’s seed travel less languidlycould be called a form of yoga, so long as she’s in the right

frameofmindwhensheperformsit.Thecommondenominatorlinkingall formsofyoga is ; that is,weshouldbehighlyawareofwhateveritiswe’redoing,inthemoment,withthe flow, facing the situation full on, however pleasant orpainfulitmaybe.It’seasytoaccusetheDudeofbeinganythingbutmindfulin

hisactions.Stonedhalfofthetime,buzzedtheother,andmoreorlessbaffledduringtheentirestretchofthemovie,hehardlyappearstheparagonoffocusedawarenessthattheYogicsageswouldprescribeforenlightenedliving.Andyet,bythetimethefilm isover,werealizethathe is theonlyonewho isactuallyprocessingtheworldinawaythataccordswithdetermined(ifdrowsy) intellectual inquiry.Though theCoens’ intentionmayhavebeentoplacethemostill-preparedcandidateintheroleoffilmnoirsleuth,itisironicbutappropriatethatheturnsouttobe theman forhis timeandplace.Why?Becausehe’s theonlycharacterwhofuckinglistensoccasionally(often,actually)and learns something.Withnopreconceptions and a friendly,open, and painfully honest approach, the Dude exhibits thechildlike nature that most sages prescribe as a first step tostudentsofearnestinquiry.Wemight say that theDude is a disciple of the

tradition. is a process of finding the fundamentaltruthofrealityviaaprocessof ,ornegation—itisnotthis, it is not that. Thus the Dude keeps his mind open andentertains all possibilities, until at last through a process ofelimination he finds what he is looking for. All the othercharactershavealreadymadetheirmindsupaboutthingsandsocanneverbegintheprocessof“enlighteningup.”TheDudemight resist a bit at times, especially when dealing with hisintellectualbullybuddyWalter,butonthewhole,he’swillingtoentertainanything.Thoughtheprinciplesunderlying theYogic traditionexisted

longbefore, itwas the sagePatanjaliwhocodified it into the“eight-limbed” path.Mark it eight, Dude. One of those eight“limbs”iscalledasanasandreferstothephysicaltypeofyogafavoredbyWesterners,probablybecauseofalltheyogicpaths,

it alone is useful for making one’s ass look more desirable.WhatissurprisingisthatifyoutranslateasanaintoEnglishitliterallymeans“seat.”So,it’saboutusingyourassforwhatitismostevidentlydesignedfor—nottoattractmates,buttositupon.Yoga asanaswere created and codified byHindu sages not

for physical fitness, but for spiritual fitness; because longperiods of meditation were central to the mystic tradition, itwas important that the body be able to sit for long periodswhilethepersonendeavorstopurifyandexpandthecontentsof themind. In fact, some scholars argue that the gymnasticaspect to Indian Yoga appeared as late as the 19th or 20thcentury!Thus,allthis“posing”that’ssopopularwithpopstarsseems toberather theoppositeof theoriginal intention.Andconversely, the Dude’s languid laying about while mellowinghis mind appears to resurrect the lost traditions of PatanjaliandthesagesofancientAsia.Wemight ask, as wewatch the Dude laze about with eyes

halfopen:“What is that,somekindofyoga?”Threethousandyears of booty-full tradition—you’re goddamn right he’slounginginthepast.Nevermindcircustrickslikehandstandsand lotus positions; it is the Dude’s positions of extremerelaxationthatdeserveouremulation.With this inmind,we identifysomeof theDude’ssignature

yoga postures, and discuss how best to perform them formaximumDudelightenmentpotential.

TheDudeistSomeKindofYogaPoses(Asanas)

SpacingOutAsana

WhenwefirstmeettheDude,weseehimshufflethroughtheaisles at Ralphs supermarket, then stop and sniff a carton ofhalf-and-half.NotonlyistheDudeprofoundlyrelaxed,butheisstaring into the distance for an unusually long time for

someone who is flagrantly breaking a supermarket rule withevidence inhand.Thus,wesee inSpacingOutAsanathatwecanbeinapotentiallystressfulsituation(standing,vulnerable)while still remaining comfortable, meditative, and utterlyunworried. It’s all about striking theperfect balance.Neitherherenorthere.

Tips: Thekey to thisposture is thepushing forwardof thehips, as this makes use of the back and leg musclesunnecessaryforbalance.Also,thefeetshouldbespreadwide,despite the fact that it might confer the appearance of aninelegant duck. And finally, the elbows should be restingagainst the body formaximum stability and relaxation of thearms.Accoutrementslikeabeverageorajointwilllikewisebeeasilyheldaloftforlongperiodsinthisposition.

ToiletSeatAsana

After the thugsgivehimahard timeandpissonhis rug, theDudeisseensittingonthetoilet,strivingtocalmhimselfdown.The toilet is oneof the finestplacesuponwhichwecan takerefuge from theworld. Especially for those of uswho live incities,thebathroomistheoneplacewecanbesuretoacquiresomeprivacyandachievepeaceofmind.Thenexttimeyougointoyourbathroomorevenapublic toilet stall,makesure totakeanextraminutetorelaxandfindthestillcenterwithin.

Tips:Voidingthebowelsandthebladdercanbeperceivedasa metaphor for letting go of other forms of shit that mightaccumulateinsideyouoverthecourseofaday.Trytoletgoofthefigurativeshitasyouletgooftheliteralshit.Thennewshitcan come to light, instead of darkness warshing over like ablacksteer’stookus.49

BowlingArgumentAsana

WhilearguingwithWalteroverwhattodoabouttherug, the

Dudealmostloseshiscooluntilheperformsthebowler’sbackstretch. It is a difficult pose, but one that can be profoundlyhumbling as well. Resembling the “trust exercises” ofcorporate retreats, theDude bends backward and surrenderstogravity,butthencatcheshimselfandstandsbackupagain.This particular asana can’t be performed too often in a shorttime period, but is a useful tool when we are particularlystrung out and need to do something drastic to calm down.Note that as he launches into the pose, he stops yelling atWalterandsays instead,“That’s fucking interesting.”BowlingArgumentAsanaisagreatwaytoresolveconflictandkeepourmindslimber.

Tips:Spreadyour legswideanddon’tbendback toomuchoryoumightpullamuscleorfallover.Dothisamaximumoffive times at first. Don’tworry if your belly or underwear 50shows while performing this asana—remember, it is aboutinculcating humility, so looking silly is actually an importantaspectofthepose.

TheTakeItEasyChairAsana

WhenbeingberatedbytheelderLebowski,theDudeadoptsanincreasingly relaxed position, sinking down ever lower andslouchierinthechairoppositetheoldman’simposingwoodendesk.Itisnotaposeofsurrenderorsubmission;ratheritisaposition of the highest confidence. When confronted byaggressionthatwillnotstand,itisbettertoslouchlanguidlyinresponse than to try to match it with an equally aggressiveattitude.Hewhoconsidershimself tobeactingwith integrityand enlightenment need not engage in a provocative display.Looking comfortable while others try to make youuncomfortablenotonly is thebestwaytodefusetheirattack,butalsohelpsyouto feelcalmand invulnerable.Thinkof theunconcerned aspect of Peter, the protagonist in the movie

.Hisboss’criticismscanhavenoeffectwhentheyare ignored entirely. Note that the Dude employs the same

asanawhendealingwithJackieTreehornandtheMalibupolicechief.

Tips: Whenever you’re seated in a chair, find the mostcomfortablepostureyoucan.Thismayvaryfromchairtochair,so it is good to practice this pose inmany different styles ofchair.Gotoafurniturestoreandtryoutallthedifferenttypestheyhaveondisplay.Whenasalesmancomesovertoaskwhatyouwanttobuy,tellhimorherthatyouarejust“practicing.”Theywillprobablyleaveyoualoneafterthat.Eveninchairsorsofasyoumayown,trytofindnewandmorerelaxingpositionsyouhaven’ttriedbefore.LookatallthevariousposestheDudeemploys throughout the film in the seated position forinspiration. You’d be surprised how many different ways hepositions his body while seated—it borders on an art form.Thenagain,rememberthatasanameans“seated.”It’seasytoforgethowcreativetheveryactofsittingstillcanbe.

ThePeacefulWarriorAsana

One of themost famous poses in popular yoga is called “thewarriorpose.”Asyoumighthaveguessed,itisverylinearandaggressive.TheDudeperformsasimilar,iftangled,versionofthiswhile standing on his rugwith aWhiteRussian in hand.Though it resemblesa pose,weknowofnoofficialposethatincorporatesabeverage.

Tips: In fact, thispose isverysimilar toa famousstatueofone of the most beloved Hindu gods, Shiva. Shiva is the“destroyer” god. And though an alcoholic beverage may beincorporated in the pose, it is probably better not to get too“destroyed”—otherwiseyou’relikelytofalloverandspillyourWhiteRussianontherug.

Rugasana

Thoughpopularyogaincludesplentyofwildlyacrobaticposes

—somethatmakeMaude flying inherharness lookpositivelypedestrian—it also has some very easy and relaxing ones aswell.Shavasana,or “corpsepose” is surely thecoziestoneofall—you lay on your back on the floor quiet and still as acorpse. The Dude, of course, is a master of this pose. Heperforms his ownmodified version as he lies on the rug andlistenstorecordingsofoldbowlingtournaments.Though the ideamay seemhumorous to thenoviceDudeist

Yogi, the Dude is in fact engaging in a serious form ofpreparation for his upcoming tournament, arguably morepowerful than the bowling practice itself. It’s been shownrepeatedly in scientific studies that taking time to imagineyourself performing an act will aid you in the skillful andgraceful execution of that act, far more so than will merelypracticingtheactinreal-worldconditions.Soundsamazing,weknow,butthat’swhattheboysdownatthelabtellus.At least in part, one imagines that the Dude so gracefully

skates through life due to the fact that he’s such anOlympicclass daydreamer, a gold-medal relaxer. So the nexttime you have a problem or a challenge to face, imagineyourself making it to the finals before even putting on yourbowlingshoes.

Tips:Note that theDudealsomoveshishandsaboutashelistens—this is ostensibly to help aid the flow of (theDudeist term for Chinese , or spiritual energy). You don’tofficially need a rug to perform rugasana—but you willprobably find it easier to take it easy if you’re lying onsomethingsoft.

FuggedabouditAsana

When the Dude sits in the back of Maude’s limo, in limbobetween two tragedies (losing a million dollars, beingpresentedwiththeransomtoe),heenjoysamomentaryspellofelation.Tonythelimodrivertellshim“fuggedaboudit,”andtheDude adds, “Can’t be worried about that shit! Life goes on,

man!”Butthewordshespeaksareonlyapartoftheposition.Notethatheissittinginwhatwouldgenerallybeconsideredarather gauche, inelegant pose—with his package exposed foralltheworld(or,atleast,Tony)tosee.Wespendsomuch timehidingourgenitals fromtheworld,

thatitcanbeliberatingtostickthemoutandsay“Fuckit”toconvention. Practice sitting exactly as he does, with one footup,theotherdanglingandyourbeaverorjohnsonunprotectedandvulnerable.Please,feelfreetoinspectthem!

Tips: This doesn’t have to be performed in public to beeffective.Wecan’tbeheldresponsibleforanyinjurythatmayoccur while performing Fuggedaboudit asana. Use your ownbestjudgment.Forextrapower,saythelinesquotedaboveasyouperformthepose,incorporatingthehandgestureelementsof“TheDudeAbidesAsana”asoutlinedbelow.

DeadintheWaterAsana

Therearea lotofreferencesto liquids in —fromtheDudebuyingacartonofhalf-and-half toWoopeeingontherugtoa flurryofWhiteRussiansandoatsodas.Therearealsoquoteslike“Carefulman,there’sabeveragehere”and“You guys are dead in thewater,” scenes of the Dude in thebathwith an amphibious rodent, crocodile tears atwhichweare meant to be surprised, and ultimately, the bosom of thePacificOcean.It’snowonder,ofcourse,asTaoismmakeswateritscentralmetaphor,andtheDudeisamodernTaoistmaster.Howdoeshegowiththeflow?Byimitatingwater.Consideringthefactthatourbodiesaremadeupof70percentofthestuff,this shouldn’t be so hard to do. Careful, man—there’s abeveragehere!Theeasiestwaytopracticeimitatingwateristospendalot

of time in it.Sometheoriescontend thathumanbeingsspentmost of their evolutionary history hanging out near largebodiesofwaterandthisiswhywelikeswimmingandbathingsomuch.51Thus,lyingbackandrelaxinginatuborapoolora

lake is an easy and logical asana to undertake, provided onehas access. For those who don’t, the experience can besimulated by laying back on an inflatable air mattress whilesoaking one’s feet in a shallow pail of warm water. Then goaheadandmeditate.Butbecareful!Rememberwhathappenedtothatguyinthe1980movie .DeadintheWaterAsanacanbeverytransformative.

Tips: Bath salts can help enhance the experience bymorecloselysimulatingthesaltwaterlakethatancienthumansweremeanttohavehungoutin(nottomention,thesaltwaterallofusspentourfirstninemonthshangingout in).Whalesounds,candles,andabitofmind-limberingelixircanalsohelpyougetintotherightframeofrestfulness.Makesuretolockyourdoorsecurelytopreventnihilists frombreakinginandspoilingthemood.

TheBarasana

Wecan’tspendallourtimeholedupinourprivateresidences.When out on the town you might find yourself in a stressfulsituation, justas theDudedoeswhenhe’s tryingtodealwiththethreatsofthenihilistsandWalterdoesn’thavethepatienceor wisdom to help him “buck up.” In that case, employing asturdy counter to slouch against while we try to collect ourthoughtscanmakeall thedifference.At thevery least, itcanimplore kind-hearted Strangers to offer condolences. In fact,that’s probablywhy barswere designed in the first place—toprovide comfort, solace, and sympathy to those looking totemporarilybathetheirsorrows.

Tips: Practicemaking a powerful pyramid shapewith yourelbows resting on the counter and supporting your head.Breatheslowlyinandoutasyoufocusonthecocktailorbowlofpeanutsinfrontofyou.Repeattoyourself:“Sometimesyoueatthebar,andsometimesthebar,well,heeatsyou.”

GutterballetAsana

Whendarknesstrulywarshesoverandyouhavenowhereelsetogo,GutterballetAsanais justtheticket.GutterballetAsanaisperformedbygettingupoffofthefloor(orthecoffeetable)and dancing like a total fucking amateur. It may be hard toaccomplish this in public with so many people laughing andpointingat you, so at first, you’rebetter off doing this in theprivacy of your bungalow. Put on some music you findparticularly livelyanddanceliketheDudedoes intheseconddream sequence. Or any way that feels good. After a fewminutes, you’ll be giggling like theAutoCircus cop after theDudeaskshimifhe’sgotanyleads.Laughable,man!

Tips: Ifyoucansummonthecourage,GutterballetAsanaiseven more fun when performed with other like-mindedDudeists.A fewWhiteRussianscanhelpeaseyou into itandremove the social awkwardness associated with… uh…socialawkwardness.GutterballetAsanacanhelpfixthebrokencablethat is keeping your life full of static. The important thing isexpressly not to look cool. Even if you are a fine dancer, youshouldtrytodanceinawaythatwouldsuggestthatyou’renot.Thisisn’ttheguywhobuilttheSoulTrain,here.Thisisaneasywaytosteponyoursadness,undskvishit.

UpwardLazingDude

How often do we notice ceilings? At Jackie Treehorn’s“unspoiled pad” the Dude adopts an impressive series ofcomfortable slouches, one especially noteworthy for the lazyupwardgaze that theDudeperpetrates.Youdon’t seepeoplesitlikethatveryoften.Withbellyhangingoutandchinup,theDudecomesacrossasablissfulBuddha,bellyuptothegreatbeyond.Sitting likethat isequivalent toasortof“surrender”totheheavens—anembracingof the immenseunknown,abitlikefallingupward.

Tips:Treehorn’scoucheswerespeciallybuiltfordeepangles

ofrecline.Youmighthavetousesomepillowstosupportyourback to help you comfortably lean back that far. The back isfragile,man. Very fragile. It also ties all the nerves together.Whenperformingsomekindof yoga,makesure tokeepyourmindlumbar.

DeeplyCasualAsana

contains perhaps one of the mostextraordinaryexamplesof everrecordedonfilm.WhenTreehornmomentarily steps out of the room, theDudepadsovertoseewhathewroteonhisnotepad.Butthen,whenhehearsJackiecomingback,herushesbacktothecouchandinstantly slides into a fully relaxed reclining position. It is sohilariously seamless, so utterly graceful, that we can onlypresumetheDudehaspracticedforyearstoinstantlyrelaxoncommand.Slackomatic!To learn this very useful and extraordinary technique, just

standupnexttoacouchorsoftchairanddropyourselfintothesamerelaxedposeas theDude.Dothisoverandoveruntil itcanbeperformedeffortlessly.You’llfindthatthiswilltrainyoutorelaxinallsortsofothertypesofsituations,andthatyou’llbeabletoescapetensionwiththesameskillandfacilityasthemasterhimself.

Tips:Exaggeratethetensionasyoustand,ballingyourfistsand clenching your jaw. That way, when you finish loweringyourselfontothecouch,thedifferencebetweenthetwostateswill be all the greater. Make sure to take care when lyingbackward—youdon’twanttohurtyourself.RememberthattheDude is a trained professional. Note as well that you canperform variants of this asana while seated—just tense yourbody and face, and then release everything. Repeat over andover until you achieve some mastery and can summonrelaxationatwill.That’llgetthestresstostoptalking!

Abideasana

Atleastthreetimesinthefilm,theDudeperformsasubtlebutpowerful Dudeist yoga technique designed to rid the body ofnervousenergy.Theposeconsistsoflettingthehandsflyuptothesidesliketheupstrokeofabirdflappingitswings.ThisiscalledAbideasana because it helps us tomaintain an abidingapproachtotheupsanddowns,strikesandguttersinourlives.The first timewe see it is in the limowith Tony, when the

Dude says, “Can’t be worried about that shit. Life goes on.”Immediatelyafterward,inthelimowithLebowskiandBrandt,theDudeperforms a string of them, as if deflecting a steadystreamofarrows.Finally,at theveryend,when theStrangersays, “Take it easy, Dude. I know that you will,” the Dudethrowsuphishandsinthesameway,asifconductingtheendofanorchestralmovementandsays,“Yeah,well,youknow,theDudeabides.”It isasignaturemovethatessentiallysays“Ohwell” or “Hey ho” to all the unexpected setbacks thatundermine our attempts to take it easy. By performing thisgesture over andover,we canhelp introduce an easyway tobrush off the bummers thatwould otherwise pull us down inthedumps.If you master all of these poses and you’d like to find an

excellentand funway to feed themonkey,whynotstartyourown Some-Kind-of-Yoga studio? Why should the sweatyacrobatshaveallthefun?For more discussion or to suggest poses, please visit:

dudeism.com/yoga.

THANKIE

ThePowerofDudeiversalEnergy

ByRev.AndreaFavro

Dudespaper

Abideamo

BeforetellingyouaboutthisancientEasternart,Ineedtotalkalittleabout , ,and .Iknowthesearetouchedoninotherpartsof thisbookso Ihope itwon’tbeexhausting,butwe need the right frame of reference here. According to ourTaoist compeers, everything that exists is subject to theinteractionoftwoopposingforces:theyinandtheyang.Theirmovement or alternation creates or , the living energythat permeates everything that exists in infinite ways and atinfinite degrees. Yeah, it’s pretty far-out, if we understand itcorrectly.

As you know, everything yin has a part of yang, andeverythingyanghasapartofyin.Just likeWalterhasabitofDudeness inhisheartand theDudealsodisplaysabitof theWalterish from time to time. Yin and yang actually are notopposingforces,rathertheyborder,define,andmeldintoeachotherinthesamewaythatupsanddowns,strikesandgutters,Dude and un-Dude, Pacific ocean and beach community, andhalf-and-halfcouldnotexistwithouteachother.Theytransformthemselves continuously into their opposite, and in this waycreate . This continuous transformation is needed for thehealthoflivingsystems—ifsomethingistotallyyin,youendupwithimmobility.Andifsomethingiscompletelyyang,youhaveburnout,orexplosion,ornihiliststorchingyourfuckingcar.

Now the concept of , or the “universal living energy”—that’ssomethingthatreallymadealotofsensetoourChinesecompeers.Butit’snotjustsomekindofChinesething—itwasalsoknownas inancientGreeceandRome,as inIndia, and as in Japan.Many arts have been developed toaccessthisuniversal infiniteenergy,orforce,touseittohealandtodealbetterwithlifeitself.Techniqueslike ,, , and are all well known these days.

However,itseemsthattheenergytechniquethatseemstopullthemostwater in theWest lately is called (pronouncedrayee-key).Let me tell you a couple of things about Reiki: Much like

otherarts,itbeganasaverysimpletechniquetohealoneselfandothers.Today it’sbecomeamuchmorebusiness-orientedthing.Mr.Usui, the Japanese founder, practiced it for freeorfor a small fee. Today you usually have to pay thousands ofdollarsforatwo-dayclasstogetapieceofpaperstatingthatyouareaMasterofReiki.Someone’stryingtoscameveryonehere,man.ThegoalofReikiasUsuiintendeditwastobethesimplestpossibleway to reconnectwithnatureand toaccesstheuniversallifeenergytoincreasehealthandlivebetter.Usuiwouldneverhavedreamedoftakingyourbullshitmoney.Reiki(theoriginal,uncompromisedfirstdraft)wasamethod

toteachyoutobeyourownhealer.ThinkoftheStranger:Hedoesn’tshowtheDudehowcoolheisorhowtobecool;hejustaskstherightquestions, listenstotheanswers,andgivestherightandneededinputtohelptheDudepullhimselfoutofthedumps. Some people think the Stranger is just a part of theDude’s imagination.Farout.Butthat’sagoodwaytoexpresshow our Dudeist version of Reiki—called —works.Basically,wecanbeourown“smarterfellerthanourselves.”Therearemanytechniquestoincreaseoruse inourdaily

life, butmost of them are either difficult to learn or just toocomplicatedforacommonDudewhojustwantstofeelbetterwithouthaving to train forhourseveryday. uses twosimple things: your breath and a bit of imagination. Actually,imaginationisneededduringthefirstpartofyourpractice; it

willbereplacedafterwardbyknowledgeandfeeling,butatthebeginning,imaginingisenough.While at the beginning we’ll need to practice it and to

imagine a little of what’s going on inside and around us,devotingtimetopracticing willbecomesecondnature,just like learning to use a bike or a car.Make it to practice,dudes,andyou’llmakeittothefinalseverydaywithoutfeelinglikethegooduniversegyppedyou.Okaythen,let’sdigthestyleof :

1.BellyHandles

Toemploythefullpowerof wemustrelearntobreathenaturally.It’sactuallyeasierthanitseems.Breathingnaturallyusingourbellyisanabilityweallpossess,butsomethingmostofushaveforgotteninthisageofuptightthinking.Instructions: Lie down on your sofa; put one hand on your

chestandtheotheronyourbelly,and lookathowtheymovewhenyoubreathe.Ifyouarelikemosthumanbeings,theonlyhandthatmovesistheoneonyourchest,orthat’stheonethatmoves first. Natural breathing, or belly breathing, insteadrequires you to breathe using your belly so that when youbreathein,yourbellyextends,andwhenyoubreatheout,yourbellycontracts.Thiswillalsohelpyoutostrengthenyourbellymuscles and maybe reduce your beer belly. If you do itcorrectly, thehandonyourbellywillmove firstnow.Togetacouple of examples, look at how your baby, or cat, or dogbreathes and do the same. As amatter of fact, whenwe areinfantsweallbreathethisway.

2.GoWiththeYinandYangFlow

Whenwe breathe in,we visualize yin energy coming in fromtheskythroughthetopofourheadsdownthroughourwhole

bodypassingthroughour .52Thisistwoorthreeinchesdownfromyourbellybutton,usuallywhere theelasticwaistband on your underwear sits. From there, imagine itpassing through your feet and on into the earth. When webreatheout, imagineyangenergygoing intheoppositedirec-tion: from theearth, throughusandup to thesky. “Frommytoesup tomyears,”asBobDylansings in“TheMan inMe.”Dylan,ofcourse,isa master.

3.MakingIttoPractice

Every morning, lie down on your sofa and practice for 20breathsinthemannerdescribedabove.Pauseforasecondortwo between each breath. And always use your belly as theengineofyourrespiration,notyourchest.Ifyoulike,youcanthenrepeatthetwentybreathsatmiddayandintheeveningtoget faster results. Soon, breathing this way will becomeautomatic.

4.FurtherUsesofThankie

TheLakeofDudeness

The is a very powerful energy center. As youpractice ,you’llbecomeawareofyour tothepointwhereyouwillactuallybeableto“see”it.Whenyouare feeling unwell, imagine waves of harmony starting fromyour and spreading calm and coolnesseverywhere, likewavesspreadingaroundacellphonethrownintoalake.

Shoosh!

At times it can happen that one’s mind isn’t as limber as itshouldbe.Toomanystrandsinol’Duder’shead.Inthatcase,the Chinesewould say there’s not toomany strands, but toomuchheatinol’Duder’shead.Thesearetimeswhenimaginingtheflowofcoolyingoingdowntotheearthcanbecomeusefultoemptyourmindandmakeitlimberonceagain.Theoppositeis also true: When our minds are too limber, imagining theupward flowofhotyangcanhelpus think inamore focusedway. If youare into thatwholemantra thing, it canbeprettyusefultothinktheword“shoosh”tosymbolizetheflowofyinor yang moving down or up. “Shoosh” and your mind getslimber. “Shoosh”and it snaps toattention. . Youwon’tloseyourtrainofthoughtorramblesomuchagain.

PracticingThankieonOthers

Whileabigpart ofReiki is about “layinghands”on (ornear,actually) other people to heal their sicknesses,many learnedmen(evengraduatesoftwo-dayMasterofReikicourses)havedisputed this.When it comes to the transfer of from oneperson to another, well, dude, we just don’t know. But itcouldn’t hurt, and concentrating on the concerns of folks inneedcanbeprofoundlypleasantforall interestedparties.Weinvite you to sign up and send free Dudeiversal energy toanyone who needs it via our site: dudeism.com/thankie. Justdon’ttryandscamanyonehere,man.Even if you don’t want to practice on others, just

practicing it on yourself can help make the world a betterplace. When you use to calm yourself down andstrengthenyourownspirits,you’llbeabletospreadwavesofrelaxation,coolness,andcalmallaround,whereveryougo.Youcan influence others’ lives just by being Dudely—abiding byexample.Andthat’scool,that’scool.That’s it! Now you are a Master and no longer a

StrangertotheDudeiversalenergyoftheUniverse. .For your free online Master certificate, just visit:

dudeism.com/thankie.

FUNGIN’SHWAY

TheDudeistScienceofReallyTyingYourRoomTogether

It’s perhaps odd that a film that is so concerned with “whatmakesaman”alsofeatureshomedecoratingsoprominentlyinitsstory.Traditionally,awell-furnishedhomehasbeenseenassomething requiring a “woman’s touch.” Well,

isalsoaboutexplodinggenderstereotypes,somaybethat’s why the Dude (and other fellows in the film) are soconcerned with tying the room together, keeping their padstotally unspoiled, displaying various awards andcommendations,oratleastjustfixingthecable.Certainly,theCoenBrothershavealwayspaidcloseattention

to set design—from the transcendent trailer-park chic of to the metaphysical circles and lines oftothepeelingwallpaperandportentouswall-

hangingsof , thebackgroundsof their storiesarenearly as important as their foregrounds. This is anotherreasonwhywideanglesplay soprominently in their films: tomakeusprivytomoreinformation,man.Andtoprovidedeeper“frames of reference.” It’s something we often forget in ourownlives:Ourenvironmenthelpsdefinewhoweare.Itshapesourmoods,influencesourattitudes.ThisisaneternaltruthnotlostontheDude.Afterall,allheeverwantedwashisrugback.Notgreedy.Itnotonlytiedtheroomtogether,butitformedanintegralpartofhisconsciousness.Lottastrandsinol’Duder’shead,andonhisfloor.

TheChineseartof (pronounced“fungshway”)isanancient quasimystical system intended to promote greaterharmonyoflivingviathearrangementofbuildings,doorways,furniture, and other aspects of our environment. Though thebeliefs of many practitioners are based on creepysuperstitions, there are some practical aspects that can helpeven themost rational thinkingDudes out there. That’swhatour Dudeist art and science of (rhymes withFuckin’A)isallabout.

THEDUDE’SBUNGALOWS/E

Tosetthestage,aboveisablueprintoftheDude’shome.Itwas designed by The Arch Dude of Chile, Andrea MariaAtenas.53Sheisagooddraftswomanandthurrah.Keepingboththisblueprintandscenesfromthefilminmind,

herearesome importantelements thatcanhelpprovideyourprivateresidencewithaDude’stouch:

TheJohn

TheThrone

WhentheDudeleavestheLebowskimansion,Brandttellshimtocomebackandvisitsometime.TheDudereplies,“Sure, ifI’m in the neighborhood, need to use the john.” It could be

taken as a sarcastic remark, but it also could identify theDude’s inverted hierarchy of priorities. Whereas the oldLebowskimightfavorhisofficeortheso-called“GreatRoom”where he ruminates over themeaning ofmanhood, theDudemost likely esteemshis commodious commode above all else.What is amansion after all, but a giant support system for abathroom?Whenitcomesdowntoit,homesaretheretohelpusprotectourbodiesandallowusasafeplacetoadministertothe ablutions of both the body and the soul. Oftenunderappreciated, the bathroom is surely themost importantplace in the house. Treat it as the nave of your temple, bothhouseandbody—theholyofthe ,asitwere.

TheBathCave

Decades ago, it was more common for people to take bathsthanshowers.Nownoonehasthetimeforaproperlong,hotbathwith candlesandwhale sounds.Butabathtub turns theroom into a womb, especially with the aforementionedaccoutrements. If you’re lucky enough to have a tub in yourhouse,thenbyallmeansuseitmoreoften.Adailybathistheeasiestandmostpowerfulwaytorelax.Witnesstheriseofthespaindustry,whereyoupaypeoplealoadofbonesorclamsorwhat-have-you just to take a glorified version of a bath, butwith all sorts of overpriced goops and plinky plinkymusic inthe background. Fungin’ Shway is here to burst that bubble,man,withah,youknow,Mr.Bubble.Andalso:cheapcandles,“TheSongof theWhale,”andabitofpremiumdope.All thatbeats chocolate rubs and aromatherapy oil hands down (andtoesup!).Itisfarmoremodestlypricedaswell.NotethataccordingtoDudevolutionarytheory,earlyhumans

spentalotoftimehangingoutinthewater.Thus,bathsareawaynotonlytotiethewombtogether,buttofeedthemonkeymindaswell.(See“SomeKindofYoga,”page218.)

TheRug

Usually “being grounded” is something that people esteembecauseitmeansthatyou’renotadreamer.Thisisnotwhatitmeans in Dudeism, of course. Dudeism loves dreaming of allsorts—daydreams, dreams enjoyed while sleeping in, acidflashbacks,wilddreamsequencesinvolvingcrazeddancersandflyingcarpets,andsoon.InDudeism,“beinggrounded”hasadifferentmeaning.Itmeansthatyouhaveacloserelationshipwiththeearth.NotethattheDudespendsalotoftimethere:meditatingwhilelyingonhisrug,knockeddownbythepolicechiefofMalibu,floatingalongthebowlinglanesinhisdream,doing , He doesn’t live on a hill like Lebowski orTreehorn, or in a high-rise loft likeMaude. As that old bluestuneputsit,theDudeis“almostlevelwiththeground,”butina good way. And that’s cool, man, that’s cool, that’s cool.(Literally—heatrises.)Agoodrugcanhelpusretainbalance,by reminding us that what is low can help make us high aswell.

TheBar

Youdon’thavetobeadrinkertobeapracticingDudeist.TheDude’s tiki bar is just his take on what others might call a“shrine.” His Kahlúa, vodka, half-and-half, ice bucket, andglassesare justhis ownpersonal sacraments.Perhaps in thisdiscussionofDudeist ,it’sabitironicthataposterofRichardNixonhoversoverhisshrine—itwasafterNixon’svisitto China in 1972 that became popularized in theUnitedStates.Despite being a real reactionary,Nixonhelpedintroduce Asian philosophy and culture to the U.S., just ashipperDudes likeAlanWattsandRamDassdid inthe1960s.ButofcourseFungin’ShwayisfarmoreironicandlessseriousthanNixon,Mao,andtherigidandsuperstitiousnatureoftheoriginal, uncompromised .Thus, our “shrine” isbest

conceivedasfancifulandfun-loving.Dudeismisareligionthatesteems humor and levity above all, so our shrine or bar oraltarorwhateveryoucallitshouldbeaplacethatinspiresusto laughand feelallwarminside.ClearlyhangingaposterofNixonbowlingisjustJeffreybeingfatuous.Andwhenpracticedwithaffectionandhumility,fatuousnesscanbefar-outindeed.

Sofa,SoGood

Perhaps the most important piece of furniture one can everinvestinisagoodsofa.Inthepantheonofhomefurnishings,itisbigdaddyZeus,theall-sitting,all-envelopingmasterofallit

.Agoodcouchisallthingstothebroadmassesofasses:a bed, a chair, a lounge, a desk, a storage space, a place tocollect loose change, a source of fort-making materials (forLittleLebowskis),atheater,abordello,adinetteset,andsoon.ThoughweonlyseetheDudeusehis toentertainguests (thepolice),wecaneasilyimaginethatheusesitforallofhisdailybusiness. Note how comfortable the Dude is on JackieTreehorn’sbanquettesofa—itfitshimlikeapapalthrone.Though the Dude also has a very comfortable-looking

recliningchair,thedetectivesdownattheChurchoftheLatter-DayDude lab recommend the fabulous sectional sofa instead.It’s a better value, more versatile, and doesn’t have anytroublesomemovingparts.

BedrockandRoll

Mostpeoplespendathirdoftheirlivesinbed—Dudeistsoftenconsiderably more. Thus, ensuring that our bed is properlyoutfitted is crucial to thewell-beingof theprincipledDudeistpriest.What’smore,it’snotonlyaplaceforsleeping,butalsofor“funandgames”asMaudecallsit—orrather,doesn’t.ThereareseveralthingstonoteabouttheDude’sbed.First

ofall,hisheadisrightnexttoawindow.Giventhatheenjoyssmoking dope while in bed, it makes sense, otherwise thewhole area would be dark with thick resin. But aside fromventilating marijuana fumes, a good supply of oxygen isimportant to a good sleep. Unless you live in a very coldclimate,keepingthewindowopenacrackhasbeenshowntobeamenabletothequalityofone’sslumber.Secondly,thereareseveralbooksintheDude’sbedroom.We

canassumethathereadsbeforegoingtosleep.Now,notonlyis it important to enjoy regular reading to keep the mindlimber, but reading before bed has been shown to be apowerfulsedativeandgoodforthequalityofone’sdreamtime.Twentyminutestoahalfanhourofreadingbeforedroppingoffisacheapandeasyway toenhancesleepandmentalhealth.Plus,itturnsyouintoasmarterfellerthanyourself.

TyingThingsUp

This is just a brief overview ofwhatwe hopewill become atleast as sophisticated a science as the thousands-years-oldChinesetraditionof .Weencouragepeopletocontactus with Fungin’ Shway home furnishing suggestions at ourwebsite (dudeism.com/shway). Help us tie the whole worldtogether,man.Ourlivesareinyourfloorplans.

DUDEECONOMICS

byRev.JoshuaMax

ForbesMagazine

Dudeists may stress about a few life challenges, but moneyisn’toneofthem.You write a check for 69 cents to pay for a quart of milk

withoutasecondthought—infact,youdoalittleboogieonthewalkway leading to your apartment. Your car is engulfed inflames and nihilists are threatening to fuck you ups, but youopenyourwalletandofferwhat’sinit.

It’sthetenthalready.Youlosealittlebitofmoney.Youcan’tbeworryingaboutthatshit.When your rug ismicturated upon, your response is not to

callthecops,despitethefactthatyourhousehasbeenbrokeninto, your doorframe smashed, your porcelain cracked, andyourheadpushed into yourown toilet a few times.Youdon’tthinktosuetheBigLebowskifor100timesthecostoftherug.Youdon’thirealawyer.Youdon’tsendTBLabill.Yougobowling.It’sonlywhenWalterpointsouttheexistenceofTBLandthat

hehasthewealth,uh,theresourcesobviously,andthatthereisnoreason,no reason,whyhiswifeshouldgooutandowemoneyallovertown,andtheypeeonyourrug—onlythenthatyougetriledupovertheinjusticeofit(notbecauseofthemoney). You call Brandt, and Brandt fills TBL in. You drivestraighttohishouse,dressedlikethatonaweekday.TheBigLebowskihasdecided,beforeyoubothsitdown,that

you are there to extort money from him. His way of dealingwithwhathe youare is toslapyouaroundverbally,sothe first words out of his mouth are sarcastic andcondescending.Finally,heisshouting.Butyouarenotshouting.Notaboutthis.ADudeist,unlikemostof theworld,hasan innate senseof

what’srightandwrong,what’sworthgettingupsetoverornot.Youarethereforarug;itisrightthatyougettherug,andyoutake the rug.Thatyou lose it laterand receivea sockon thejawdoesn’t takeaway from the fact that you’vewona roundwithabigger,louder,farmorepowerfulmanwithtwowords:Fuckit.TBL says you should tattoo it on your forehead, and he’s

right.Itmayseemasthoughhe’sinsultingyouwhenhesays,“That’syouranswerforeverything,”buthe’sright.When Bunny looks you in the eye and says, “I’ll suck your

cockforathousanddollars,”youdon’tblinkorexpressdisdainor disgust for either the offer or its sky-high price. “Fuck it”translates to “fuckyou,”which is reallywhat your statement,“Uh,I’mjustgonnagofindacashmachine,”means.

It’sonlyyouracutesenseofrightandwrongthatdrivesyoutocalltheBigLebowskia“humanparaquat”afterfiguringouthe has embezzled money meant to help underprivilegedchildren, and it’s your concern for your physical safety thatcauses you to temporarily lose your center after Uli and theothertwonihilistsdisruptyourbathandthreatencastration.Youletthephonering.Youletthebeeperbeep.Youknow,inyoursoul,you’renottryingtoscamanyonehere

andthatsomuchinlifecanbedealtwithbydrinkingaWhiteRussian,orinventingyourown .Fuckit.It’saDudeist’sversionof“thywillbedone.”

EPILOGUEICanGetYouaVow

Nowthatyou’vereachedtheendofthetrailofthisherebookwe’veunfolded,you’rereadytogoforthanddude-iply.If you’re innerested in joining our community ofmore than

120,000ordainedDudeistpriestscurrentlyabidingaroundtheworld,visitdudeism.com/ordination.Ordudenation is freeandeasy,man,justlikeourwholelaid-backethos.As a Dudeist priest, you are called to just take it easy by

abiding through all the strikes and gutters that the cosmicbowling alley rolls your way. If you’re into the wholetakingpriestly-vows thing, thesehere vows can really help tieyour life together as an officialmember of theChurch of theLatter-DayDude’sclergy:

•••

•

•••••

•

Now,BrotherShamusesandSpecialLadies,goforth,abide,

andtothineownselfbeDude.Lord,youcanimaginewhereitgoesfromhere.

ABOUTTHEAUTHORS

OliverBenjaminfoundedTheChurchoftheLatter-DayDudein 2005. His website, dudeism.com, is the hub of hubbubaroundwhichthereligionofDudeismrolls.HelivesinThailandand Los Angeles. When not attending to his duties as theDudely Lama of Dudeism, he does the usual atoliverbenjamin.net.DwayneEutseyservesastheArchDudeshipofthechurchandfounded itsmonasticorder,TheBrotherhoodShamus.He isawriter/editor abiding near a nice, quiet beach community inMaryland with his special lady with whom he helped toconceivetheirthreelittleEutsowskis.

1If youwantmore information,would like to be ordained (it’sfreeandeasy, just likeourethos),orwant tochatwithotherDudely types, visit dudeism.com. It’s your answer foreverything.2

This is a line taken from the Captain Beefheart song on thesoundtrack.ThoughtheDude’seyesareinfactapiercingblue,there’snotaliteralconnection.3

That’s partlybecause the real reactionariespinned thewholeloss-of-paradisethingonhimbydrawingthedevilinhisimage.They figured, here’s a loser, a deadbeat, someone the squarecommunitywon’tgiveashitabout.4

dudeism.com/whatisdudeism5

TOE is in fact a common abbreviation for “Theory ofEverything,” at least among physicists. Where religions onceprovided“theoriesofeverything,”thecurrentscientificsearchfor this has to do with a mathematical model that wouldincorporate all the fragmented theories of physics into oneelegant whole. Interestingly, one of the fellows leading thechargeisGarrettLisi,asurferDudebasedinMauiwholivesinhis van (sometimes). When we contacted him about this hereplied, “I can get you a TOE by three o’clock!” Far out.Dudeismhascompeersinhighplaces.See:http://bit.ly/10nCT.6

Chapter 6 in Robertson and Cooke’sdelveswidelyintothis.

7Thedateonthecheckhe’swritingashewatchesGeorgeBushinitiateawarofBiblicalproportionsuponIraq?September11,1991. Ten years to the day before the consequences of that“aggression” would be made clear. This really freaks peopleout.Butweassureyou,it’snotaprophecy.TheDudeisjustaman,man.

8The city’s name comes from “NuestraSenora laReina de losAngeles” (Our Lady the Queen of the Angels)—that is, theCatholic VirginMary. No actual angels were ever thought tohavespentanytimeinLosAngeles.9

ThoughtheStrangersays,“Icandiewithasmileonmy facewithout feelin’ like the good Lord gypped me,” he’s using atermmanyconsideroffensive,anepithetforgypsies,whowereseen tobedishonest incommerce.But theDude’sphilosophycanbesaidtohonorthatofthegypsies.Parts,anyway.IstheDudeagypsyking?10

article concerning this research:http://bit.ly/elm1sy.11

ThisisunderscoredattheendofthefilmbyWalterSobchak’sowndetermination that theGulfWarwas “all aboutoil.” It ispossible that this was the first commercial film to outwardlyespousethisidea. andthefamousscenewithMarkWahlberg being forced to drink oil came out a year later.Perhapsthat’swhyWalter’sassertionismuffledbythesoundsofbowling:Peopleweren’treadytoacceptthisideayet.12

“Wasn’t it JackKerouacwhosaid, ‘Ifyouownarug,youowntoomuch?’”EdBurns, (2003).13

“Weareallofus inthegutter,butsomeofusare lookingatthe stars.”OscarWilde, , 1892.Wildemay have introduced the term “dude” to U.S. shores. See“Dude Defined”: http://bit.ly/bJnIqe. “Googie” stars were animportantpartof1950sspace-agedesign—theeraofsuburbanbowlingalleysandloftypost-waraspirations.14

AneyeforaneyecameoriginallyfromtheBabylonian(presentdayIraq)“CodeofHammurabi”beforeitwasadoptedintotheancient Jewish canon. This “code” contains some of themost

horrific punishments ever dreamed up by humankind. So,though“aneyeforaneye”moralitymaystillbepopular,takingitincontextmightrevealitscorrelativebrutality.15

GermanphilosopherFriedrichNietzsche imaginedthecomingofanewtypeofman,an (overmanorsuperman),whowouldfreehimselffromthebondsofreligiousandculturalconditioningandtrulythinkfreely.Healsoaddressedtheideaof“eternalrecurrence”inwhichalleventswilloccuroverandover again in our universe, the acceptance of which shouldinspire not horror, but a form of contentment, at least in“great”men.Thoughboththefascists(liketheotherLebowski)and thenihilists (likeUli) championed the ideasofNietzsche,most scholars contend that neither actually understood hisideas properly. We think Nietzsche would have been prettyimpressed with the Dude, though—he is both a truly freethinker,andat thesame timeappearswhollycontentwithalltheevents inhis life,unsavoryas someof themmayseemtoothers.16

Itisimportanttomentionthat“bum”comesfromtheGerman, meaning “loafer,” and originally had nothing to do

with the ideaofmooching.Abumwasa lazyperson,butnotnecessarilyadrainonsociety.17

“The Sabbath wasmade for man, not man for the Sabbath.”, Mark 2:27. And “The ideal is the enemy of the

good.”Voltaire,“LaBégueule,”1772.18

The Dude is even wearing professional shoes, notsneakers, so you know he’s really into some kind of Easternthing.19

During recording, Dylan would play the song, “The Man InMe,” in a completely different tempo than originally agreedupon,whichcouldbepartofthereasonthesonghassuchaneasygoing,improvisedfeeltoit(http://bit.ly/1qQX6e).

20Note that while it may seem strange that the Dude’s dooropens outward (and causes him grief later in the movie),outward-opening doors are actually safer because they’rehardertobreakdownfromtheoutside.21

Walter’s exCynthia’sdog isn’t aPomeranian, but aYorkshireterrier.Justasthemarmotinthebathtubisaferret,andDonnymixesupLeninandLennon.Also,JeffreyLebowskiisnotwhatyou call the Dude, his Dudeness, or El Duderino. Perhapstaking potshots at postmodernist linguistic theory,

is full of fluxed-up semiotics. Nearly every sceneinvolves the inabilityofanyof thecharacters tocommunicateproperly.22

Though close-cropped comedian Dom Irrera plays Tony, therole was originally meant to go to an actor “about the sameage, fromwhose livery capaponytail emerges,” according totheCoens’publishedversionofthescreenplay.ThissuggestsacloserculturalandsartorialcompeeroftheDude.Butthen,itwasn’tnecessary.TheDuderelatestoeverybody.23

TheDude’sjellysandalswereJeffBridges’own.Healsoworethemin in1996.Similarly,theJapanesebaseballshirtwasalsohisown.Heworethataswellin(1991).TheDudeobliges!24

GermansandothercontinentalEuropeansdon’tgenerallyplaycricket. But the cricket bat clearly suggests a foreign andunwelcome version of the all-American baseball bat depictedontheDude’sshirtinanearlierscene,thoughheld,oddly,byaJapanese baseball player. The whole notion of Americannational identity is hilariously mangled in ,suggestingasortof lossof theclearparametersofanearlierera.25

The Stranger pronounces the word “bar,” but he is saying

“bear”inanantiquatedrusticAmericandialect.Thoughthereis some disagreement about this among Lebowski fans, thethemesongfromthe1960sDanielBooneTVseriesprovesthat“bar” was an acceptable pronunciation of “bear.” See:http://bit.ly/dYnizn.26

DouglasAdams’characterDirkGentlywasbornwiththenameSvlad Cjelli. It seems that Eastern Europeans have corneredthemarketwhenitcomestowackyandphilosophicaldetectivework.Theyalsodon’tliketousetheirgivennames.27

Ofcourse, it’snot justtheDudewhorepeats linesfromothercharacters.InTheBigLebowskiuniverse,certainphrasesandwords like “Chinaman,” “abide,” “parlance of our times,”“where’s the money, Lebowski?” “this aggression will notstand,”“nofunnystuff,”“youranswerforeverything,”“nothingisfucked,”“haveityourway,Dude,”andmorefloataroundandinhabit characters’ brains like spirits. Each time a line isrepeated fromanother context it helps to illuminate just howmuchweareproductsofourculture,ratherthantheotherwayaround.Nevertheless,theDudeseemstonavigatethisstreamofweirdclichéswithmore finesse thantheothers,employingthemgingerlyandatarm’slength.28

Though the Dude dates his check September 11, 1991, Bushdeliveredhis“aggressionwillnotstand”speechinthesummerof1990.EithertheDudehaspostdatedhischeckbyayearorso, or in addition to not knowing if it’s a weekday, he alsodoesn’tknowwhatyearitis.Andthat’scool.That’scool.29

In theseconddreamsequence, thebowlingshoecabinet thatreaches up to the sky and up to the moon behind SaddamHussein is a clear reference to the myth of the Babylonianziggurats, which progress-obsessed men built in order toproducea“stairwaytoheaven.”Asaresultofwhich,Godgotangryandmadeitimpossibleformantocommunicateandgetalong by creating “the language problem.” Do you see what

happens, ?30

“The darkness drops again but now I know/That twentycenturiesofstonysleep/Werevexedtonightmarebyarockingcradle,/And what rough beast, its hour come round atlast,/Slouches towardsBethlehem tobeborn?”WilliamButlerYeats,31

DoesitrevealanythingwhenwefindoutthatDonnyisGreek(his last name is Karabatsos)?Onewonders—in a filmwhere“Jesus”isaviciousandderangedpedophile,mightitnotmeansomethingthatacharacterwhorepresentsthehighestpeakofancientcivilizationispresentedasafeebledimwit?Welldude,wejustdon’tknow.32

Itisalsooneoftheoldest, ifnot oldest,commonlyplayedsportintheworld.5,000yearsofDudeyfultradition.33

Today,“abide”isawordmostcommonlyusedbyChristianstodescribetheir loyaltytoJesusChrist.TheDudeevenadoptsashlumpy Christ-like stancewith beers in hand as he says hissignature line.While technically it’s just anechoof theotherLebowski’s statement that “I will not abide another toe,” it’salsogotsomeof thatolde-tymereligious flavor to it. Just likethatgoodsarsaparilla.34

WiserFellerThanOurselves35

That’s how satirist Paul Krassner describes his friend WavyGravy.36

WhetherhebaseshisprophecyontheMayancalendarornot,ChristiantelevangelistJackVanImpehassuggestedthat2012will be an important year in terms of his interpretation ofBiblical prophecy. But he also once claimed that UFOs aredrivenbysatanicdemons.37

FormoreinformationonJohnMajorJenkins’views,checkouthis website: alignment2012.com. Some folks, however, areskeptical about Jenkins’ interpretation of the significance of2012 in Mayan religion (www.2012hoax.org/john-major-jenkins).We’renotadvocatinghisviewshere, justsayingthatwhenitcomestoprophecy,alotofitisjust,like,youropinion,man.38

He even postulated in one of his books that the firstagriculturalcropmayhavebeenmarijuana.39

Innerestingly,Cobain’sfirstbandwasaCreedenceClearwaterRevivalcoverband.40

Noticehow“Tao”and“Dude”combinetocreatehisname.HeistheDowd.41

ThetheologiansandscholarsontheJesusSeminarattempttoseparatewhatthehistoricalJesusactuallysaidintheGospelsfromwhatwasaddedlaterbytheChurch.42

DudeDefined:http://bit.ly/bJnIqe.43

See:http://bit.ly/6wGeVr.44

Forapracticalguideonhowtoincorporatethe80-20principle

inyourlife,see (thesection“ParetoandHisGarden”),byTimFerriss.Ferriss’objectiveistoworkfourhoursaweekandmakeashitloadofmoney.Thatinmind,weshouldassumethatonecouldworkonehouraweekorlessandmakeenoughtocoverbasicexpenses.Maybewecanapplythe80-20principle to the80-20principle itself, andarrive atthe96-4principle?45

IntheBuddhistsenseoftheword.Thoughalmosteveryonehas“strings” (responsibilities to family, friends, jobs, etc.)Buddhismsaysweshouldn’tbe“attached”totheoutcomesorexpectationsofthoserelationships.46

Hallowedbehismeme.47

Somesaythepropernomenclatureisactually ,butwhatarewenow?Fuckingparticiplerangers?48

ThisversionisaDudeisttranslationofthetraditionalnarrative.Othertranslatorshavetheirstories;wehaveours.49

Mystical novelist and spiritual teacher Carlos Castaneda waslikelyabigbelieverinToiletSeatAsana.Heisreportedtohavesaid, “If one gets ‘silent’ enough on the , a crack in theworldopensup.”50

Infact,thepartofthebellyandunderweartheDudeshowsinthissceneisanimportantDudeistenergycenter—the“undieschakra.”(See“Thankie,”page234,formoreaboutthis.)51

Though Elaine Morgan’s “Aquatic Ape Hypothesis” (whichstates that humans are radically adapted to living in aquaticenvironments) has been controversial, even mainstreamtheoristsbelievethathumansareunusuallypredisposedamongprimates to make use of aquatic environments. It’s possiblethat the earliest human settlements sprung up alongside ahugeinlandlakeinEthiopia.Thelakewouldhaveprovidednot

only abundant food, but also protection from big cats, theirmostworthyfuckingadversary.52

According to Indian Ayurvedic medicine, chakras are energycentersinourbodies.TheChineseandtheIndiansdisagreeonhowmany thereareandwhere theyare located, but theyallagree on the existence and relative importance of the

,althoughtheydon’tcall it that. Ifyou’renot into thatwhole brevity thing, you can also refer to the head as the“strandsinDuder’sheadchakra”andthefeetthe“fuckingtoeschakra.”53

Andreaisalsopartof“TheMaudeSquad.”(See“SubjectsLikeWomen,”page156.)

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