tck presentation secondary parent workshop 19th march 2013

7/30/2019 TCK Presentation Secondary Parent Workshop 19th March 2013

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Challenges and Opportunities

I am probably not going to tell you something you

dont know but I may well tell you something you

dont know you already know.

David C Pollock


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Explore the impact of transience/change on

our community.

Consider the theory regarding living in

different cultures.Discuss ways of providing for your young

people, at school, at home.

WARNING:

We are experts only in that we work with third culture kids every

day.


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language

dress

behaviour

Shared ideas andbeliefs

values

Learned

Customs

Food

Tradition


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Dr Gary Weaver


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A third culture kid is a person who has spent

a significant part of his or her developmentalyears outside the parents culture. The TCK

frequently builds relationships to all of the

cultures, while not having full ownership in

any. Although elements from each culturemay be assimilated into the TCKs life

experience , the sense of belonging is in a

relationship to others of similar background.

TCKs or ATCKs ( adult)

TCKs re in a neither/nor world. This is not a mix of cultures they

have known as some wrongly believe because TCKs develop their own

life patterns different from those born and bred in one place.


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Third Culture. Ruth Hill Useem, first used Third Culture Kid, 40

years ago in her research on North American children living in India.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_Culture_Kidhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_Culture_Kid


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This may relate to you because you may be aTCK or if you have children it may relate totheir journey. You may not be a TCK, youprobably are an Adult TCK.

Take 5 mins to answer these questions by

completing the My Story map. Then shareyour story with the person sitting next to you

1. Where were you born?

2. What passports do you have?

3. Are your parents from the same culture?4. Is your partner from the same culture as you?

5. When did you leave your home country?

6. Which countries have you lived in?

7. Where is home?


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Born

Country 1

Country 2

Country 3

Country 4

Country 5

Different cultures

you have

lived/worked in

Challenges

Challenges

Challenges

Opportunities

Country6

Nationalities

of Parents


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There have always been TCKs but numbers have increased dramatically.

NumbersIn 2007 4 million US living overseas, 1 million Australians. In 2006Japan revealed that 1 million of its citizens were living asexpatriates overseas. More and more children now accompanytheir parents overseas than previously.

VisibilityThe internet blogs has raised the voices of TCKs. Groups haveformed and TCKs have increasingly entered public life, BarackObama

Significance

International travel means that TCKs are becoming morenormal. Cultures are mixing, TCKs have experience thatcountries can learn from...


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1. Being raised in a cross cultural world,

experiencing life in a few countries, havingparents who are from different countries.

2. Mobility is normal. They constantly come and

go as do the people in their lives.

3. Some TCKs are very different physically fromthose around them. Have a very different view

of the world to those around them.

4. Some assume they will return to home

countries. This shapes their decisions.5. Some have amore privileged lifestyle, perks

and travel.

6. Some have responsibility to act responsibly in

line with their role/mission in the host country.


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High mobility. Anger and detachment at moving. Denial can

result in a decision that friends are not friends. Not beingincluded in next years plans because of moving isolation. Closer to separation, the less likely we are toresolve problems. Expectations are lowered to avoiddisappointment. Changing routines and schedules, newpeople, new expectations and responsibilities. Sense of

chaos makes us more self-centred and anxious. Problemsseem bigger than they are. Self esteem under attack whentrying to learn a new culture, language. Frustration andanger eruptions. Loss of self, no one knows what I cando, my talents, my past and no one cares. This transitionphase is feeling of disappointment. Emotional

rollercoaster, one day everything is good, followed by aday of confusion. Because of global travel the period ofloss and transition can be very short, no time to go througha grief process.


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Losses can include : possessions, lifestyle,

pursuits. TCKs were asked at a conference what

are some of your hidden losses

Name three of your own losses


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Hidden losses were;

Separation form siblings boarding school

My historyMy dog

Our dishes

My grandparentsChildhood


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Mock Funeral by Alex Graham James

There was no funeral.

No flowers.No ceremony.

No one had died.

No weeping or wailing.

Just in my heart.

I cant

But I did anyway,

And nobody knew I couldnt.

I dont want to

But nobody else said they didntSo I put down my panic

And picked up my luggage

And got on a plane.

There was no funeral.


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Some TCKs have learned to/had to suppress

sadness. By parents saying you dont need tobe sad youll make new friends there is a

lack of recognition of how the child feels and

an opportunity to comfort is lost.

Confused loyalties political, patriotic, valuesystems. Home verses host.

3D view of the world brings realisation that

behind the headlines are real people.

May be ignorant of home country.

May become more prejudiced, drivers, maids

distance between people in host country.


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Lack of ability to make choices because of

possible mobility.Mistrust of authority, blame parents and

school for problems.

TCKs can be arrogant, I am different

because of the life I lead.May become very anxious about making

mistakes later in life insecurity.

May not have a first language.

The where is home question? everywhereand nowhere...

TCKs or ATCKs are restless, keep moving.


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A Tree with strong roots can withstand the mostviolent storm, but the tree cant grow roots just asthe storm appears on the horizon.Dalai Lama


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Fear of intimacy in case of loss in relationships.Refusal to risk emotional engagement. Build walls.

Some TCKs shut down pain but this also leads tothem shutting down excitement and happiness.

TCKs seem more immature to their counterparts inhome countries. May lack social skills,

sophistication. Experienced in twenties or later - delayed

adolescence, feeling dont fit in with peers.

Development is affected as they are trying to learnthe rules of different environments, may cause

them to retreat. Anger and Rebellion .Extended adolescence can

occur.

Belonging to a system can be difficult for someTCKs.


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I am from

I am from Belgium, where the clouds are usually soaked in

rain,

I am from Italy, where the clouds are always cleared bysunlight,

I am from Poland, where the sky is as dark as coal,

I am from Mozart, whose music charmed peoples heartsand woke their souls,

I am from my dreams and nightmares, where myimagination takes over,

I am from Egypt, whose mysteries haunt peoples minds,

I am from the ocean, where the waves calm my thoughts,

I am from the mountains, where the echo calls my name,

Most of all, I am from my family, where my heart trulybelongs.

Writ ten by TCK Hendr ik Verr i jssen wh en he was

12 yrs o ld


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More confident in managing new situations,

benefit of experience, friends will be madeetc.

Ability to speak two or more languages.

More open to developing relationships faster

discussing political, religious issues as an

example.

Great value placed on relationships, friends

are family overseas and family at home arethe connection to roots.

We all lose people at points in our lives and

TCKs can adapt better and support others.


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TCKs have more global awareness than their

peers in home countries.

May have learned unusual practical skills.

May be more comfortable around adults.Overseas lives often revolve around a system

company, school. This can bring structure

to TCKs who need it, sense of belonging


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Can adapt to their surroundings if they

choose to

Though sometimes moving between groups may result in loss of

personal identity


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Parents need to assess whether their family needs ( health

/education) can be met in the new location.

Educate children about the country and culture there are

living in.

Relationships need to be strong and children need to be

valued.

Realise that a new country can be very stressful for children. Listen to their worries and concerns, do not dismiss them.

Protect them. Be sure that if they are cared for by others they

are safe. For example, nannies and drivers.

Involve children in decision making where possible.

Ensure children farewell important people and places.

Let children keep sacred objects , favourite things.

Create family traditions for fun and to have a history.

What can we do to support TCKs? PARENTS


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What can our school do to support TCKs, somethoughts?

Explain how our school works grades,behaviour, expectations, homework to

combat differences between systems

Tell our stories, students and teachers.

Celebrate diversity.Have TCKs mentor new students.

Help students to make the transition

closure.

Provide the opportunities for them to

continue with their own language where

staffing and curriculum allows.


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Discussion


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References and Reading list

Third Culture Kids. Growing up among worlds. David

Pollock and Ruth Reken

Letters never sent. Ruth Reken

Living Overseas by Ted Ward

Who moved my cheese? by Spencer Johnson

Suggested Web Sites

Interaction International founded by David Pollock

www.interactionintl.org

TCKid.com

www.TCKid.com founded by Brice Royer

Among Worlds

www.interactionintl.org/amongworlds.asp

http://www.crossculturalkid.org/ Heidi Sand-Hart, 2010
http://tckid.com/http://www.interactionintl.org/http://www.tckid.com/http://www.interactionintl.org/amongworlds.asphttp://www.crossculturalkid.org/http://tckid.com/http://www.crossculturalkid.org/http://www.interactionintl.org/amongworlds.asphttp://www.tckid.com/http://www.interactionintl.org/

tck presentation secondary parent workshop 19th march 2013

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