Taking Care of Yourself During the Job Search

Steve Mullinix, PhDLicensed Psychologist

HRC, PAChapel Hill, NC

smullinix@hrc-pa.comSeptember, 2011

Resilience

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Resilience

Researchers have found there are three (3) personality traits important to hardiness:Commitment (to self, family, values, career)Sense of personal control over one’s lifeAbility to see change as a challenge to be

mastered

Self-Care

Self-Care means taking care of one’s own physical, mental, spiritual and emotional needs.

Those who are self-caring have concern for others, but not at the expense of themselves.

Some thoughts about the job search:

The job search is like planting and cultivating a garden, not buying a meal at a food truck.

It’s showing up and getting “base hits” -- not hitting a home run.

So what’s needed?Self-knowledgeFocus / directionPersistencePatienceLuck / Open to GraceFriendsConsistent self-care

What is Stress?It’s the body’s physiological response to any

demand (physical, mental or emotional) placed upon it.

The Fight or Flight Response

Typical Signs of Stress:Can’t sleep at nightshort-temper – irritabilityHeadachesSense of panic or dreadSweaty palmsIndigestionFeelings of guilt, anxiety, fearUnable to think clearly

Cumulative Stress9/11/2001

Iraq War / Afghan War

Economic meltdown since 2006

Personal / family stressors / responsibilities

Your own job / career situation

Stress Formula

Your + Others’ + Work + Inability to Control

Expectations Expectations load Everything Else

Stress = _______________________________________

Your Coping Strategies

Self- Assessment What’s your risk?

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Recommended Reading:

Anger Kills: 17 strategies for controlling the hostility that can harm your health – Redford Williams & Virginia Williams

Don’t Panic: Taking control of anxiety attacks -- Reid Wilson

Feeling Good: The new mood therapy -- David Burns

Full Catastrophe Living: Using the wisdom of your body and mind to face stress, pain and illness – John Kabat-Zinn

The Relaxation Response -- Herbert Benson

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work -- John Gottman & Nan Silver

Spark: The revolutionary new science of exercise and the brain -- John J. Ratey

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What do you do to manage stress?

7 Strategies for managing stress and depression:

. . . . Any one of these will help

Strategy 1:Breathing

Let’s practice . . .

What’s your SUD?

0 – 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 - 10

Meditation

YogaTMPrayerMindfulness Based

StressReduction (John Kabat-

Zinn)at Duke & UNC Healthcare

Strategy 2: Exercise

Strategy 3:Having Realistic

Expectations

Challenging Cognitive Distortions

Cognitive Distortions: David Burns, MD

All-or-nothing thinking

OvergeneralizationMental filterDiscounting

PositivesJumping to

conclusions Mindreading Fortune telling

Magnification & minimization

Emotional reasoningShould statementsLabelingSelf-blame Other-blame

Strategy 4: Social Support

The role of family, friends, mentors & advisors

Your Board of Directors

Strategy 5: A weekly fun activity

or do you starve yourself?

Strategy 6: Healthy HabitsDiet / NutritionMonitor Alcohol / other drug useAvoid social isolationChoice of entertainment:

internet/video games, pornography

Using money wisely / using a budgetAvoiding affairs

Strategy 7: Daily Appreciations

Finally….What’s your plan?

Make self-care a priority!

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