swimming at night by lucy clarke

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A T O U C H S T O N E B O O K

P U B l i S H E d B y S i m O N & S C H U S T E r

NEw yOrK lONdON TOrONTO SydNEy NEw dElHi


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TouchstoneA Division o Simon & Schuster, Inc.

1230 Avenue o the Americas

New York, NY 10020

This book is a work o ction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are

products o the authors imagination or are used ctitiously. Any resemblance toactual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Copyright 2013 by Lucy Clarke

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Manuactured in the United States o America

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Library o Congress Control Number: 2012946644

ISBN 978-1-4516-8339-4


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For James


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sngat nght


7/22

1

Katie(Lodo, m)

K

atie had been dreaming o the sea. Dark, restless water and

sinuous currents drained away as she pushed hersel upright

on the heels o her hands. Somewhere in the apartment her phone

was ringing. She blinked, then rubbed her eyes. The bedside clock

read 2:14 a.m.

Mia, she thought immediately, stiening. Her sister would get

the time dierence wrong.

She pushed back the covers and slipped out o bed, her night-

dress twisted around her waist. The air was rigid and the foorboardswere like ice against the soles o her eet. She shivered as she

moved through the room, her ngers spread in ront o her like

sensors. Reaching the door, she groped or the handle. The hinges

whined as she pulled it open.

The ringing grew louder as she picked her way along the dark-

ened hall. There was something troubling about the sound in the

quiet, sleep-coated hours o the night. What time would it be in

A t li ? Midd h ?


8/22

Lucy cLarke2

Her stomach stirred uneasily remembering yesterdays terrible

ght. Words had been sharpened to injure and their mothers name

had been fung down the phone line like a grenade. Aterwards,Katie was so knotted with guilt that she let work an hour early,

unable to concentrate. At least now theyd have a chance to talk

again and she could tell Mia how sorry she was.

She was only two steps rom the phone when she realized it

was no longer ringing. She hovered or a moment, a hand pressed

to her orehead. Had Mia hung up? Had she dreamed it?

Then the noise came again. Not the phone ater all, but the

insistent buzz o the apartment intercom.

She sighed, knowing it would be late-night visitors or the trad-

ers who lived upstairs. She leaned towards the intercom, holding

a nger to the Talk button. Hello?

This is the police.

She roze, sleep burning o like sea mist on a sunny day.

Wed like to speak to Miss Katie Greene.

Her pulse ticked in her throat. Thats me.

May we come up?

She released the ront door, thinking, What? Whats happened?

She switched on the light, blinking as the hall was suddenly illu-

minated. Looking away rom the glare, she saw her bare eet,

toenails polished pink, and the creased trim o her silk nightdressagainst her pale thighs. She wanted to etch a robe, but already

the heavy tread o eet sounded up the stairway.

She opened the door and two uniormed police ocers stepped

into her hall.

Miss Katie Greene? asked a emale ocer. She had graying

blonde hair and high color in her cheeks. She stood beside a male

ocer young enough to be her son, who kept his gaze on the ground.

Y


9/22

Swimming at night 3

Are you alone?

She nodded.

Are you the sister o Mia Greene?Her hands few to her mouth. Yes . . .

We are very sorry to tell you that the police in Bali have in-

ormed us

Oh God, she began to say to hersel. Oh God . . .

that Mia Greene has been ound dead. She was discovered

at the bottom o a cli in Umanuk. The police believe she ell

No! NO! She spun away rom them, bile stinging the back o

her throat. This couldnt be real. It couldnt be.

Miss Greene?

She wouldnt turn. Her gaze ound the bulletin board in the

hallway where invites, a calendar, and the business card o a caterer

were neatly pinned. At the top was a map o the world. The week

beore Mia let to go traveling, Katie had asked her to plot her

route on it. Mias mouth had curled into a smile at that, yet she

indulged Katies need or schedules and itineraries by marking a

loose route that began on the west coast o America and took in

Australia, New Zealand, Fiji, Samoa, Vietnam, and Cambodiaan

endless summer o trailing coastlines. Katie had been tracking the

route rom Mias inrequent bursts o communication, and now

the silver drawing pin was stuck in Western Australia.Staring at the map, she knew something wasnt right. She turned

back to the police. Where was she ound?

In Umanuk, the emale ocer repeated. Its in the southern

tip o Bali.

Bali. Bali wasnt on Mias route. This was a mistake! She wanted

to laughlet the relie explode rom her chest. Mia isnt in Bali.

Shes in Australia!

Sh ht th h l b t th Th


10/22

Lucy cLarke4

woman stepped orward; she had light-blue eyes and wore no

makeup. Im araid Mias passport was stamped in Bali our weeks

ago. Her voice was gentle, but contained a certainty that chilledKatie. Miss Greene, would you like to sit down?

Mia couldnt be dead. She was twenty-our. Her little sister. It

was inconceivable. Her thoughts swam. She could hear the water

tank downstairs humming. A television was playing somewhere.

Outside, a late-night reveler was singing. Singing!

What about Finn? she asked suddenly.

Finn?

Finn Tyler. They were traveling together.

The emale ocer opened up her notebook and spent a moment

glancing through it. She shook her head. Im araid I dont have

any inormation about him currently. Im sure the Balinese police

will have been in contact with him, though.

I dont understand any o this, Katie whispered. Can you . . .

I . . . I need to know everything. Tell me everything.

The police ocer described the exact time and location at

which Mia had been ound. She told her that medical assistance

had arrived switly on the scene, but that Mia was pronounced

dead on their arrival. She explained that her body was being held

at the Sanglah morgue in Bali. She conrmed that there would be

urther investigations, but that so ar the Balinese police believedit was a tragic accident.

All the while Katie stood completely still.

Is there someone you would like us to contact on your

behal?

She thought instantly o their mother. She allowed hersel a

moment to imagine the comort o being held in her arms, the sot

cashmere o her mothers sweater against her cheek. No, she told

th t ll Id lik t l Pl


11/22

Swimming at night 5

O course. Someone rom the Foreign Oce will be in touch

tomorrow with an update rom the Balinese police. Id also like to

visit you again. Ive been assigned as your Family Liaison Ocerand will be here to answer any questions you have. The woman

took a card rom her pocket and placed it beside the phone.

Both ocers told Katie how sorry they were, and then let.

As the door clicked shut, the strength in Katies legs dissi-

pated and she sank onto the cold wooden foor. She didnt cry.

She hugged her knees to her chest to contain the trembling

that had seized her. Why had Mia been in Bali? Katie didnt

know anything about the place. There was a bombing outside

a nightclub some years ago, but what else? Clearly there were

clis, but the only ones she could picture were the grass-covered

clis o Cornwall that Mia had bounded along as a child, dark

hair fying behind her.

She tried to imagine how Mia could have allen. Was she stand-

ing on an overhang and the earth crumbled? Did a sudden gust o

wind unbalance her? Was she sitting on the edge and became

distracted? It seemed absurdly careless to all rom a cli. The

acts Katie had been given were so ew that she couldnt arrange

them into any sort o sense. She knew she should call someone.

Ed. She would speak to Ed.

It was her third attempt beore she managed to dial correctly.She heard the rustle o a duvet, a mumbled, Hello? and then

silence as he listened. When he spoke again, his voice was level,

telling her only, Im on my way.

It must have taken no less than ten minutes or him to drive

rom his apartment in Fulham to hers in Putney, but looking back

she wouldnt remember any o that time. She was still sitting on

the hallway foor, her skin like goosefesh, when the intercom

b d Sh t d il Th f b d h d k d th b k


12/22

Lucy cLarke6

o her thighs with red slash-like indentations. She pressed the

button to let him in.

Katie heard the thundering o his eet as he took the steps twoat a time, and then Ed was at her door. She opened it and he

stepped orwards, olding her into his arms. My darling! he said.

My poor darling!

She pressed her ace into the sti wool o his jacket, which

scratched against her cold cheek. She smelled deodorant. Had he

sprayed himsel with deodorant beore coming over?

Youre reezing. We cant stand here. He led her into the living room

and she perched on the edge o the cream leather soa. Its like sitting

on vanilla ice cream, Mia had said the morning it was delivered.

Ed removed his jacket and draped it over her shoulders, rubbing

her back with smooth circular strokes. Then he went into the

kitchen and she heard him open the boiler cupboard and fick on

the central heating, which rumbled and strained into lie. There

was the gush o a tap as he lled the kettle, ollowed by the open-

ing and closing o drawers, cupboards, and the ridge.

He returned with a cup o tea, but her hands didnt move to

take it. Katie, he said, crouching down so they were eye level.

You are in shock. Try and drink a little. It will help.

He lited the tea to her lips and she sipped it obediently. She

could taste the sweet milky favor on her tongue and the urge toretch was immediate. She lurched past him to the bathroom with

a hand clamped to her mouth. The jacket slipped rom her shoul-

ders and ell to the foor with a sot thump.

Bending over the sink, she gagged. Saliva hit the white ceramic

basin.

Ed was behind her. Sorry . . .

Katie rinsed her hands and splashed water over her ace.


13/22

Swimming at night 7

Darling, he said, passing her a blue hand towel. What

happened?

She buried her ace in it and shook her head. He gently peeledthe towel away, then unhooked her robe rom the back o the

bathroom door and guided her arms into the sot cotton. He took

her hands in his and rubbed them. Talk to me.

She repeated the details learned rom the police. Her voice

sounded jagged and she imagined that i she were to glance up at

the bathroom mirror, her skin would be leached o color, her eyes

glassy.

As they moved back to the living room, Ed asked the same ques-

tion to which she wanted the answer: Why was your sister in Bali?

I have no idea.

Have you spoken to Finn?

Not yet. I should call him.

Her hands shook as she dialed Finns cell. She pressed the

phone to her ear and listened as it rang and rang. Hes not

answering.

What about his amily? Do you know their number?

Katie searched in her address book and ound it, the Cornish

dialing code stirring a aint memory that she wasnt ready to grasp.

Finn was the youngest o our brothers. His mother, Sue, a curt

woman who was oten harassed, answered, sounding hal asleep.Who is this?

Katie Greene.

Who?

Katie Greene. She cleared her throat. Mias sister.

Mia? Sue repeated. Then immediately: Finn?

Theres been an accident

Finn


14/22

Lucy cLarke8

No. Its Mia. Katie paused and looked at Ed. He nodded or her

to go on. The police have been here. They told me that Mia was in

Bali . . . on a cli somewhere. She ell. Theyre saying shes dead.No . . .

In the background she could hear Finns ather, a placid man

in his sixties who worked or the Forestry Commission. There was

a brie volley o exclamations mufed by a hand over the receiver,

and then Sue returned to the line. Does Finn know?

Id imagine so. But hes not answering his cell.

He lost it a ew weeks ago. Hasnt replaced it yet. Weve been

using e-mail. Ive got his address i you want

Why were they in Bali? Katie interrupted.

Bali? Finn wasnt.

But thats where they said Mia was ound. Her passport was

stamped

Mia went to Bali. Not Finn.

What? Katie said, her grip tightening.

There was an argument. Sorry, I thought you knew.

When was this?

Good month ago, now. Finn spoke to Jack about it. From what

I heard they had a alling-outGod knows what aboutand Mia

changed her ticket.

Katies thoughts whirled. Mia and Finns riendship was unshak-able. She pictured them as children, Finn with a wig o glistening

seaweed draped over his head, Mia bent double with laughter. Theirs

was a riendship that was so rare, so solid, that she couldnt imagine

what would be terrible enough to cause them to separate.

Ten days later, winter sun fooded Katies bedroom. She lay perectly

till h t h id h t b i h l i t


15/22

Swimming at night 9

distant threat she couldnt quite recall. She blinked and, beore

she had a chance to recall why her eyelids elt sti and salted,

grie bowled into her.Mia.

She curled into hersel, tucking her knees to her chest and

pressing tight sts to her mouth. She screwed her eyes shut, but

disturbing images bled into her thoughts: Mia dropping silently

through the air like a stone, the rush o wind liting her dark hair

away rom her ace, a rasped scream, the crack o her skull against

granite.

She reached or Ed, but her ngers met only with the empty

curve o where hed slept. She listened or him and, ater a mo-

ment, was relieved to tune into the light tapping o a keyboard

coming rom the living room: he was e-mailing his oce. She

envied him thatthe ability or his world to continue, when hers

had stopped.

She knew she must get to the shower. It would be too easy to

remain cocooned in the duvet as she had done yesterday, not rising

until ater lunch, by which time she was drowsy and disorientated.

Taking a deep breath, she orced hersel rom beneath the covers.

Driting toward the bathroom, she passed Mias room and ound

hersel pausing vaguely outside the door. They had bought this

apartment using the small inheritance they received ater theirmothers death. Everyone was surprised that they were moving in

together, not the least Katie, who had vowed shed never live with

Mia again ater their acrimonious teenage years, yet shed worried

that i Mia didnt put her share o the inheritance into something

solid, it would slip through her ngers as easily as water. Katie had

been the one to organize viewings, deal with estate agents and

solicitors, and run through the rain with a broken umbrella to sign

th t ti


16/22

Lucy cLarke10

Wrapping her ngers lightly around the brass door handle, she

turned it. A aint trace o jasmine lingered in the cold, stale air. Mia

had positioned her bed beneath the tall sash window so she couldwake and see sky. A sheepskin coat, which once belonged to their

mother, was draped over the oot o the bed. It was an original rom

the seventies with a wide, unstructured collar, and she remembered

Mia wrapping hersel in it all winter like a lost fower child.

Beside the bed a pine desk was heaving with junk: an old stereo,

unplugged and dusty; three cardboard boxes bulging with CDs; a

pair o hiking boots with their laces missing; a mound o paper-

backs, well thumbed, beside two pots o pens. The bedroom walls

were bare o the photos and paintings that had adorned Mias

previous rooms and shed made no attempt to decorate; in act, it

was as i she had never intended the move to be permanent.

Katie was the one whod persuaded her sister to move to London,

using words like opportunity and career, when those words had

never belonged to Mia. Mia spent her days wandering the parks,

or driting in one o the rent-a-rowing-boats in Battersea Park, as

i dreaming she were somewhere else. Shed had ve jobs in as

many months because she would suddenly decide to get out o

the city to go hiking or camping, and take o, just leaving a note

pushed under Katies door and a message on her employers voice-

mail. Katie tried searching out job opportunities using her recruit-ment contacts, but xing Mia to something was like pinning a

ribbon to the wind.

Noticing a pair o mud-fecked running shoes, she remembered

the evening Mia announced she was going traveling. Katie had

been in the kitchen preparing a risotto, slicing onions with det,

clean strokes. She tossed them into a pan as Mia wandered in, a

pair o white earphones dangling over the neckline o her T-shirt,

t ll h t b ttl t th t


17/22

Swimming at night 11

Going running? Katie had asked, blotting her streaming eyes

with the sleeve o her cardigan.

Yeah.Hows the hangover? When shed gone to shower beore work,

Katie had ound Mia asleep on the bathroom foor wearing a dress

o hers borrowed without asking.

Fine, she replied, keeping her back to Katie. She turned o

the tap and wiped her wet hands on her T-shirt, leaving silver beads

o moisture.

What happened to your ankle?

Mia glanced down at the angry red cut that stretched an inch

above her sock line. Smashed a glass at work.

Do you need a Band-Aid? Ive got some in my room.

Its ne.

Katie nodded, tossing the onions with a wooden spoon, watch-

ing their sharp whiteness soten and become translucent. She

turned up the heat.

Mia lingered by the sink or a moment. Eventually she said, I

spoke to Finn earlier.

Katie glanced up; his name was so rarely spoken between them.

Weve decided to go traveling.

The onions started to sizzle, but Katie was no longer stirring.

Youre going traveling?Yeah.

For how long?

Mia shrugged. A while. A year, maybe.

A year!

Our tickets are open.

Youve already booked?

Mia nodded.

Wh did d id thi ?


18/22

Lucy cLarke12

Today.

Today? Katie repeated, incredulous. You havent thought it

through!Mia raised an eyebrow: Havent I?

I didnt think you had any money.

Ill manage.

The oil began to crackle and spit. And what, Finns just taking

a sabbatical? Im sure the radio station will be thrilled.

Hes handed in his notice.

But he loved that job . . .

Is that right? Mia said, looking directly at her. The air in the

kitchen seemed to contract.

Then Mia picked up her water bottle, pushed her earphones

in, and let. The pan started to smoke, so Katie snapped o the

stove. She elt a hot fash o anger and took three strides across

the kitchen to ollow, but then, as she heard the tread o Mias

shoes along the hallway, the turning o the latch, and nally the

slam o the door, Katie realized that what she elt most acutely

was not anger or even hurt, it was relie. Mia was no longer her

responsibility: she was Finns.

It was mid-aternoon when the phone rang. Ed glanced up romhis laptop; Katie shook her head. She had reused to speak to

anyone, allowing her voicemail to record riends messages o

condolence that were punctuated with awkward apologies and

strained pauses.

The machine clicked on. Hello. Its Mr. Spire here rom the

Foreign Oce in London.

A nerve in her eyelid fickered. It was Ed who reached or the

h j t b th d d Thi i K ti H


19/22


looked across to her and said, Yes, shes with me now. He nodded

at her to take the phone.

She held it at arms length, as i it were a gun she was beingasked to put to her head. Mr. Spire had called twice since Mias

death, rst to request permission or an autopsy to go ahead, and

later to discuss the repatriation o Mias body. Ater a moment,

Katie pressed her lips together and cleared her throat. Bringing the

phone towards her mouth, she said slowly, This is Katie.

I hope this is a convenient time to talk?

Yes, ne. The dry, musty warmth o the central heating caught

at the back o her throat.

The British Consulate in Bali have been in touch. They have

some urther news concerning Mias death.

She closed her eyes. Go on.

In cases such as Mias, a toxicology report is sometimes re-

quested as part o the autopsy procedure. I have a copy o it in

ront o me, which I wanted to talk to you about.

Right.

The results indicate that at the time o death, Mia was intoxi-

cated. Her blood alcohol content was 0.13, which means she may

have had impaired refexes and reaction times. He paused. And

theres something else.

She moved into the living room doorway and gripped the woodenrame, anchoring hersel.

The Balinese police have interviewed two witnesses who claim

to have seen Mia on the evening o her death. He hesitated and

she sensed he was struggling with something. Katie, Im very sorry,

but in their statement, they have said that Mia jumped.

The ground pitched, her stomach dropped away. She hinged

orward rom the waist. Footsteps crossed the living room and she

lt Ed h d h b k Sh h d hi t i ht i


20/22

Lucy cLarke14

You think she . . . Her voice was strained like elastic set to snap.

You think it was suicide?

I am araid that based on witness statements and the autopsy,the cause o death has been established as suicide.

Katie reached a hand to her orehead.

I understand this must be incredibly hard

The witnesses, who are they?

I have copies o their statements. She heard the creak o a

chair and pictured him leaning across a wide desk to reach them.

Yes, here. The witnesses are a 30-year-old couple who were hon-

eymooning in Bali. In their statement, they say that they had taken

an evening walk along the lower cli path in Umanuk and paused

at a lookout pointthis was close to midnight. A young woman,

matching Mias description, ran past them looking extremely anx-

ious. The male witness asked i she needed help and Mia is said

to have responded, No. She then disappeared along what used to

be the upper cli path, which has apparently been disused or

several years. Between ve and eight minutes later, the witnesses

looked up and saw Mia standing very near the clis edge. The

report says that they were concerned or her saety, but beore they

were able to act, she jumped.

My God. Katie began to tremble.

Mr. Spire waited a moment beore continuing. The autopsysuggested that, rom the injuries sustained, it is likely that Mia

went over the cli edge acing orwards, which collaborates with

the witnesses reports. He continued to expand on urther details,

but Katie was no longer listening. Her mind had already drited to

the cli top.

Hes wrong, Mia, isnt he? You didnt jump. I wont believe it. What

I said when you calledoh, God, please dont let what I said . . .

K ti h i th t i l t h


21/22


Mias body repatriated to the UK a week on Wednesday. He re-

quired details o the uneral parlor she had selected, and then the

call ended.She elt shooting pains behind her eyes and pressed the arched

bones beneath her eyebrows with her thumb and index nger. In

the apartment below the baby was wailing.

Ed turned her slowly to ace him.

They are saying it was suicide, she said in a small, strained

voice. But it wasnt.

He placed his hands on her shoulders. You will get through

this, Katie.

But how could he know? She hadnt told him about the terrible

argument shed had with Mia. She hadnt told him o the hateul,

shameul things shed said. She hadnt told him about the anger

and hurt that had been estering between them or months. She

hadnt told Ed any o this because there are some currents in a

relationship between sisters that are so dark and run so deep, its

better or the people swimming on the surace never to know whats

beneath.

She turned rom Ed and stole to her room, where she lay on

the bed with her eyes closed, trying to x on something good be-

tween her and Mia. Her thoughts led her back to the last time

she had seen her, as they hugged good-bye at the airport. Sherecalled the willowy eel o Mias body, the muscular ridges o her

orearms, and the press o her collarbone.

Katie would have held on or longer, treasured every detail, had

she known it would be the last time shed eel her sister in her

arms.


22/22

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swimming at night by lucy clarke

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