Paul Smithinterviewand more...

Love at first sight?Sharknado reviewThe Death of NME

Britain vs QatarUltraviolence review

STUDENT summer 2014

issue 7

Editorial Team

Editor-in-ChiefAngus Kirk

Managing EditorMark McGarry

Copy EditorJack Taylor

Online Editor Beth Lamb

Current Affairs EditorLiam Tiffin

Creative Team

Creative DirectorNicky Hope

Assistant Design LeadLaura Cadman

Illustrator Dan Herrick

Contributors

Emily Craig Jack AutyKaty Turner Matilda NeillDominic JamesEddie HantmanTilly Gormely Chelsea van ZylHetty NaylorEmma BoistonMeghann KerrEsther Hamilton-DuguidAmy Thomas

2014 WELCOME TO STUDENT REVIEW

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Contributors

Emily Craig Jack AutyKaty Turner Matilda NeillDominic JamesEddie HantmanTilly Gormely Chelsea van ZylHetty NaylorEmma BoistonMeghann KerrEsther Hamilton-DuguidAmy Thomas

Letter from the Editor

Hello from the fresh, new editorial team at Student Review, long time no see! First of all I feel like we need to apolo-gise for our absence.

It's unjustifiable, we know, but, in our defence, it's taken a while to drum up enough support to release a new issue, what with people leaving school, ex-ams and everything else that consumes us students throughout the school year. However, now we've got a whole new editorial team, who you can meet on our shiny new tumblr page, studentreview.tumblr.com. You can find all the details of our social networking accounts on the back page, including our brand new In-stagram, so you've got no excuse not to follow us!

But after a long process of revamping our whole image, involving lots and lots of meetings, the latest issue of Student Review has finally arrived! You'll notice quite a lot of things are different, the first, if you flip your copy over (or flick through all the online pages, depending on how you're reading) you'll notice we now have a back page! We just thought it'd be a good shake up, changing the whole layout of Student Review.

"AFTER A LONG PROCESS OF REVAMPING OUR WHOLE IMAGE, INVOLVING LOTS AND LOTS OF MEETINGS, THE LATEST ISSUE OF STUDENT REVIEW HAS FI-NALLY ARRIVED!"

We've changed our whole style as well, Nicky, our new graphics editor, has been working tirelessly on a completely new design for this issue. It's a big change but we're all really excited about it and we hope you are too.

In this issue, as well as our usual selec-tion of reviews so you know what to look out for, including a group review of Syfy film Sharknado we've got an interview with Paul Smith from Maximo Park, something I'm really excited about. It's my first interview with a musician in the

public eye, so I hope you enjoy it. Mark McGarry has written about the change in NME, and in his current affairs col-umn, Liam Tiffin discusses the differ-ence between England and Qatar after allegations of corruption and abuses of workers' rights have come to light. Jack Taylor has written about tattoos.

"WE'VE BEEN NOMINATED FOR TWO SHINE MEDIA AWARDS, ONE FOR BEST MAGAZINE AND BEST OVERALL EDITORIAL CONTENT"

Amongst all of this change, we've been nominated for two Shine Media Awards, one for Best Magazine and Best Overall Editorial Content, so we'll keep you all posted on how we're doing on our twit-ter, @studentreview1. We hope you enjoy this issue, and if you don't want to pick up a copy, feel free to leaf through online via issuu.com, we'll post the link on our Tumblr so stay on the lookout. Enjoy!

Angus KirkEditor-in-Chief

In this issue

Current AffairsPaul Smith InterviewMusicTattoos Art+Photo SpreadLove at First SightCommunityReviewsCreative WritingFunny Tinder LinesFunny Page

WELCOME TO STUDENT REVIEW

studentreviewne@gmail.com

Student Review

@studentreview1

studentreview.tumblr.com

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Allegations of corruption joined the evidence of ongoing abuses of work-ers’ rights in the Arab state, but does Britain treat its workforce any better? Over the last week evidence of high level corruption has emerged, lead-ing serious questions to be asked over the legality of Qatar’s right to host the 2022 FIFA World Cup. The allegations are that Mohammad Bin Hammam, a former FIFA Vice President and native of the tiny desert state, paid up to $5 million in cash and gifts to the heads of African Football Associations, hoping that they would, in turn, sway their bosses in favour of Qatar as pro-spective world cup hosts. When the news broke of Qatar’s successful bid it was greeted with incredu-lity by the football world; after all, how could a des-ert state with no football heritage - and summer temperatures of 50° Cel-sius - win the right to host the planet’s premier sporting competition? Aside from the bidding process, the main draw of publicity towards Qatar over the last two years has concerned the appall-ing human and workplace rights abuses affecting the migrants travelling mainly from the Indian subcon-tinent or South East Asian countries on the promise of a steady income and comfortable living conditions. Many of these workers live under the Kafala system, meaning they have no choice when to work, they cannot complain to their bosses, if they leave a job they will be arrested and they cannot leave Qatar without the permission of their em-ployer; a system closer to 18th century slavery than 21st century life in one of the world’s richest nations. These work-ers have no right to join a trade union, and no right to strike; they are quite lit-erally at the mercy of their employers.

After their forced 12 hour shifts in the extreme heat, workers make their way back to their accommodation, usually one un-air-conditioned room with only basic sanitation and shared with up to 15 others. That is, if they survive. Once there, even eating is uncertain, as Am-nesty International have concluded that they are often left to starve. Doha general hospital reports over 1000 migrant workers were taken to hospital in the first 8 months of 2013

after falling from height at work; 10% were left with permanent disabilities and the mortality rate was described as ‘significant’. Over 200 migrant workers died up to September 2013, just from India and Nepal, and even more wor-ryingly, this is the total 8 years before the World Cup in Qatar is even due to start. It is estimated that 4000 migrant workers may die before the world cup begins, an estimate that may rise again after the announcement of the arrival of a further 500,000 migrant workers from South-East Asia. All in all, it is clear that even if the right to host the

tournament had been won fairly, any nation which treats its work-force with such disdain, then de-nies the allegations, is unfit for such a privileged position. The problems facing Brit-

ish workers, whilst not nearly as shocking as those in Qatar, are no more acceptable. The Office for National Statistics now esti-mates that 1.4 million people are employed on zero hours contracts in the UK - that’s almost 3 times more than they originally thought. For employers, zero hours con-tracts are bliss, as their workers have no guaranteed hours, mean-ing no guaranteed pay and no guaranteed costs to the company. For workers, they leave them beholden to the whims of their

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Is Britain any better than Qatar?

"THESE WORKERS HAVE NO RIGHT TO JOIN A TRADE UNION, AND NO RIGHT TO STRIKE; THEY ARE QUITE LITERALLY AT THE MERCY OF THEIR EMPLOYERS. "

employer. If they do not agree to work the next day at a few hours’ notice they may be given no work at all for a fortnight; a lesson to them not to have a life outside work. Employees are at the mercy of their employer, left afraid to complain of working conditions for fear they soon might have not even have working conditions to worry about if they are no lon-ger given work. This is in itself a

legalised Western version of the Qatari Kafala system that is so widely criticised, yet Westminster is notably less forthcoming in their criticism of zero hours contracts. Throw in the fact that zero hours contracts are particularly prevalent among low paid workers and ex-ceedingly rare in the professional industries, coupled with the sharp rise in their number since the 2010 election, and it is irrefutable evidence of government disregard for the rights of ordinary British people. They simply do not care.

Many workers tied to a single firm are unable to get enough hours to lift their families out of in-work poverty, which has also sharply increased since 2010. Even in industries where employees have the relative security of fixed hours contracts, their employers have realised that the last remaining way to cut their costs of production in a bid to entice customers is to employ fewer staff. This creates a larger pool of jobseekers who are willing to do more work for less

pay than they would in a time of job security. This, combined with the rising cost of living, rising taxes and cuts in welfare, has led some studies to sug-gest that by late 2015, 7.1 million of the UKs 13 million children will grow up in households where neither parent is paid a ‘living wage’ - that is, one that provides more than merely the bare es-sentials needed to survive. We have also taken giant steps back-wards in educational terms, as proved by the latest cuts in our own region. Central government cuts have forced tough decisions on local councils and

have caused Northumberland County Council to announce that from Sep-tember 2014 sixth form students will have to pay for school transport, at an estimated cost of between £600 and £750 a year per child, a level completely unaffordable for many parents. This is in the same year that the minimum age for leaving education has been raised to 18, meaning this charge on learning in

a state school system is unavoid-able for students unlucky enough to live outside walking distance. Not only must we stay in school, but we must pay handsomely for the privilege of being there. The regression continues in other areas. In health, fewer nurses (more than 5000 less since 2010) are forced to work within tighter

budgets, leading to declines in the quality of care. For example, ‘am-bulance queues’, (situations where patients waited more than 30 min-utes in ambulances at the hospital before they could be treated) al-

most doubled to 20,000 between 2011 and 2013. How can a country which treats its most vulnerable (the low-paid, the young, the ill) be fit to host such a tournament, at a monetary cost to the people it already discriminates against - the low paid hard working backbone of society? Simply, it can’t. The prob-lems in Britain may be less severe than the loss of life and limb facing migrant workers in Qatar, but that is no reason to let the status quo continue.by Liam Tiffin

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Is Britain any better than Qatar?

"BY LATE 2015, 7.1 MILLIONOF THE UK'S 13 MILLIONCHILDREN WILL GROW UPIN HOUSEHOLDS WHERENEITHER PARENT IS PAID A ‘LIVING WAGE’ "

Angus KirkI have to admit, this is the first time I’ve done an interview, and though I only had to email some questions across to Paul Smith of Maximo Park, I still felt a bit nervous.

However, from his answers to my questions I knew straight away that Paul Smith, Maximo Park’s singer, is such a down to earth, genuine guy. Formed in 2000, Maximo Park have en-joyed great success over the years: their 2005 debut album ‘A Certain Trigger’ was nominated for a Mercury Prize and went gold in the UK, as did their 2007 follow up album ‘Our Earthly Pleasures’. Smith also released a solo album, ‘Margins’ in 2010.

AK: How did you get your music career started? Was it difficult?

PS: I started making music for pure enjoyment, without any thought of a career. I began playing guitar in an instrumental band and the rest of Maximo Park were looking for a front-person who could connect with the crowd, which led them to approach me. We started playing gigs around Newcastle and more and more people started taking notice, including re-

cord companies. We made some home demo recordings and started selling them at gigs, which led to getting a vinyl 7inch made, leading Warp, our eventual record company, to get in touch. I think we worked hard at our craft and we rehearsed a lot, but I suppose one thing led to another and it wasn't as difficult as it might have been in other circumstances.

AK: How did it feel when your debut album with Maximo Park 'A Certain Trigger' was nominated for a Mercury Prize?

PS: It was an exciting time. Barely a day went by with-out some news regarding how well the album was do-ing and new gigs were being announced around the world. The prize opens up your music to a new audi-ence and the mainstream music industry sees it as some-thing of critical value, leading to new opportunities.

AK: What is your most recent album 'The National Health' about?

PS: Each song's about something different, so it's hard to say. The title track is a slice of everyday life in our country right now, concluding that the country is a bit sickly! There are themes running through the record, culminating in the song Waves Of Fear, which concerns taking personal action in or-

der to rejuvenate your own life instead of feeling help-less about broader problems. Even more conventional love songs like The Undercurrents, Until The Earth Would Open and Unfamiliar Places are about grasp-

ing the moment. Overall, our songs celebrate ordinary life and try to be romantic in the face of the mundane.

AK: Do you enjoy a rock and roll lifestyle since making it big?

PS: That depends what you mean! I'm grateful and lucky to have the life I have, so becoming a cliché or getting a rock star ego doesn't make sense to me. I make music and want to explore new paths constantly so I think a rock and roll lifestyle would get in the way of that! Musicians are fairly normal individuals, generally. Now that music is free on the internet and there's less money sloshing about, the music business excesses that used to be com-monplace are as extinct as the dinosaurs they created. The Festival of the North East is a month long celebra-tion of the region’s creativity and innovation through-out June. Smith is an Artistic Director of the festival.

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"I STARTED MAKING MUSIC FOR PURE ENJOY-MENT, WITHOUT ANY THOUGHT OF A CAREER."

AK: Tell me about the festival of the North East; what does your role as an artistic advisor involve?

PS: Northumbrian Piper Kathryn Tickell had an idea to bring as many different cultural strands together in one month across the region and help publicise how varied and vital the whole North East can be when given the op-portunity. As an artistic advisor, my fo-

cus was contemporary music and the festival director would run certain proj-ects past me and use contacts of mine in order to widen the festival's musical programme. They also asked if I had any musical projects that I'd like to work on, which led to my collaboration with Peter Brewis from Field Music on a musical travelogue for a string quar-tet called Frozen By Sight, which pre-mieres at Sage Gateshead on June 26th.

AK: What's next for you and for Maximo Park?

PS: I want to make as much good music as I can, so I'm writing new solo music as well as helping the band complete our fifth album, which should be out in the New Year. I like lots of different styles of music so I'm always looking for new things to work on. We've got a few festivals coming up and I've been doing some radio shows for BBC6 and basic.fm, too.

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"I WANT TO MAKE AS MUCH GOOD MUSIC AS I CAN"

As we’ve seen the demise of the noughties come and pass, it’s evident that the musical spectrum we’ve been used to growing up has evolved as time has gone by. The bands centred in the ‘indie revival’ brought about by the likes of The Libertines, The Strokes and Arctic Monkeys have ei-ther become evermore commercial or have gone off the radar, which has left the kids who’ve turned away from the billboard charts awaiting something

new. In all honesty, I’m feeling pretty discontent when I think about what British music has to offer. Do revolu-tionary bands actually exist anymore, or are we merely not noticing them?

It wasn’t until a few years ago that a slightly different style of independent music came from across the Atlantic. Perhaps paying homage to the emo scene across the USA in the late 90s, the alternative scene has progressively grown massively in the last five years, which, unfortunately, still goes unno-ticed by commercial scouts. Notably,

the abundance of new bands across the emo scene also goes undetected by the relentless indie publication NME, who have continuously report-ed on every movement of the notori-ously northern Alex Turner of Arctic Monkeys – as a band who’ve already broken through into the mainstream, AM are old news, as far as I’m con-cerned. Maybe it’s time for NME to discuss

new, fresher acts as op-posed to blurting out the same old updates con-cerning the aging Noel

Gallagher’s latest endeavour or even more of the excessive ‘nostalgia’ col-umns. The 90s are over, NME. Get over it. Long gone are the times of Britpop guitar and regional accents. What I’ve noticed recently is the lack of new artists who’ve gained large scale recognition through ‘true’ in-dependent means. It seems all labels are interested in nowadays are large-

scale bands who would be assets to the plethora of festivals that take place during the summer months, which leaves the independent-fo-cused publications pretty stumped for news at any other point in the year. As aforementioned, perhaps it’s time to acknowledge the artists who pride themselves in sticking to old-style DIY ethics, producing albums that re-ally do have the potential to do well in such a thinning musical climate. Sure enough, there’s already a flourishing independent circle in the US, with labels like Run For Cover and Hope-less putting out solid releases that are starting to make their way over the Atlantic. If only they were noticed. I guess what the best situation would be would be a new ‘pioneer’ act; some-thing as unique as the first Arctic Monkeys material we heard almost 10 years ago, songs that led the way for other bands to break through into recognition. Until then, we’ll have to bear with the musical innovators who’ve already made it to the top.

by Mark McGarry

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The Death of NME // Tattoos

"DO REVOLUTIONARY BANDS ACTUALLY EXIST ANYMORE, OR ARE WE MERELY NOT NOTICING THEM?"

"[ARCTIC MONKEYS] ARE OLD NEWS, AS FAR AS I’M CON-CERNED."

Tattoos - what’s all the fuss about?In recent years, an increasing amount of people - especially young people - seem to be getting tattoos. Although tat-toos aren’t exactly a new craze, they’ve certainly expanded their reach recently, and there are now multiple types avail-able to fit whatever preference people may have. And with this increased popularity has come the inevitable backlash that comes with any trend or fash-ion. “They make me uncomfortable,” say some. “They’re just ugly,” whine others. “Why would you do that to your body?” they gossip, disparagingly. But really, who cares? I mean, who cares if another person wants to change their body like that? Not me - it’s their body, not mine. Does it affect anybody else in any meaningful way? No. No it doesn’t. Instead of complaining about how “unprofes-sional” or “distasteful” tattoos supposedly are, we should be trying to change people’s attitudes towards them, so that they are not seen in such a way. Tattoos can be, and are, for many people, an effective and unique way of express-ing themselves, or commemorating an important event in their life, or rebelling against uniformity, or just something

pretty to look at and make their body more interesting, or-. The list could go on. So what if that person has an unusual pattern up their arm? So what if that person has a colourful piece of art on their neck? Does it make them a worse person? Does it make them a less capable employee, or a more threatening presence to be around? Of course not. In fact, if you think having a tattoo makes someone a lesser per-son, then you yourself are the more dangerous presence: judging someone based on the tattoos they have is just the same, and indeed just as disgusting, as judging them on any other aspect of how they look. I would hope that in today’s society we wouldn’t give people funny looks on the street because they were wear-ing a pair of atypical earrings, and we wouldn’t look down on someone for wearing an item of religious clothing. So why do so many people feel like they can do such things to people who have tattoos? It is not OK to do so, and if you do then, quite frankly, you should stop being so judge-mental and learn to accept the fact that people look dif-ferent to you, that they might like to express themselves in different ways to you, and that their character cannot be

judged by how they look. I haven’t got any tattoos myself, and I doubt I ever will - I prefer to express my feelings through other media. But I can at least accept the fact that for a growing number of people, they are the preferred mode of self-expression and a vital way in which many people choose to edit their ap-pearance. And who cares if they’ll “look stupid” when we’re all old and wrinkly? So will that haircut you had when you were 13, and those clothes you wore back in the noughties. But nobody’s going to condemn or stigmatise you for those, so why would we do the same with tattoos?

by Jack Taylor

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"INSTEAD OF COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW “UN-PROFESSIONAL” OR “DISTASTEFUL” TATTOOS SUPPOSEDLY ARE, WE SHOULD BE TRYING TO CHANGE PEOPLE’S ATTITUDES TOWARDS THEM"

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Paul Smith in-Whether you believe in it or not, surely we’ll both be able to agree that “Love at first sight” is a disgusting concept. The idea that, with just one look, one fleeting glimpse of another person, you can “know” that you are “in love” with them, is at the very least shallow and prejudiced. And yet, it’s an idea that is idealised and roman-ticised by millions of individuals and hundreds of films, books, and TV shows. Now obviously the idea of love at first sight is an objective one and so I couldn’t possibly say with full cer-tainty that it doesn’t exist, but person-ally I’d like to think it doesn’t. The idea of love is a com-plex one, to begin with. It’s not re-ally quantifiable, and it’s constantly portrayed as being specific to the in-dividual - one of those things where “you just know” if you’re feeling it or not. And this very notion contributes somewhat to my sceptics: can we even really say that love is a real thing? It’s certainly not tangible, and there’s no set definition or set of symptoms (de-spite what some magazines may try and tell you). Now, the same can be said of most emotions - can any of us, for example, really quantify sadness? In-deed, most of us would define it dif-ferently, and we’d list different symp-toms of it, or different ways in which it could arise. But the idea of love is different. It’s been apotheosised to a ridiculous point, and, as a society, we’ve undoubtedly fallen in love with the idea of falling in love. From a young age, we’re bombarded with the social construc-tions of love - that it’s supposedly sig-nificant and important. Naturally, we can’t feel love at this age, so we have others’ ideals of it thrust upon us; be-fore we even get to experience it our-selves, we have romanticised ideas of it in our heads - it’s our be all and end all, our Holy Grail, our ultimate life goal. We’re told that if we don’t have

someone to fall in love with then our life is a waste, a vast expanse of sad-ness and a whole load of loneliness. We’re told to pity those who don’t have someone to love. And this has led to the ludi-

crous idea of love at first sight. People are so desperate and so anxious to fall in love, that they create it within themselves. They feel so much pressure to find that one person, that “Mr or Mrs. Right”, that they fool themselves into thinking that they’ve managed to find it in just an instant - isn’t that special! Isn’t that just magnificent and romantic and heartwarming and-. No. No, it’s not. It’s disgusting and disturbing and a whole crock of sh**e. Sorry to burst that bubble, but it is. Instead of holding up the idea of love at first sight as a beautiful and tender one, we should be reject-ing it as a farcical and judgemental one. There’s simply nothing romantic about it all. I mean, you wouldn’t say that you loved a film after watching the trailer. You wouldn’t profess your love for a book after checking out its front cover. So why would you con-fess your love for someone after just a momentary glance?

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"THE IDEA OF LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT IS AN OBJECTIVE ONE AND SO I COULDN’T POSSI-BLY SAY WITH FULL CERTAIN-TY THAT IT DOESN’T EXIST, BUT PERSONALLY I’D LIKE TO THINK IT DOESN’T."

KEVI's Christmas Market StallOn Saturday the 30th November The King Edward VI School hosted Mor-peth to a spectacular Christmas market. The school took over the market place in the centre of the town to put their busi-ness skills to the test. With no staff help-ing out, the students had full responsibility. This chance was provided by the Sanderson Arcade who has been working with the county council in an attempt to re-launch the Morpeth Market which has history of having an excellent shopping experi-ence. With this heritage that Morpeth has the School lead the charge alongside the Sanderson Arcade and the county council to revamp the market place. The town has responded well to this and has had a posi-tive vibe surrounding the re-development. Adam Corbally once of the BBC One show the Apprentice has joined the project who has seen amongst other people a clear but exciting vision for Morpeth. The Apprentice star judged the Christmas market alongside Sanderson Arcade Manager Medi Parry. They had the job of overlooking each stall for various criteria for business skills. From pre-sentation to sales it all counted, a winner was announced at 3pm, six hours after they had begun trading. All the stalls were all a success but only one could win. The winning group was Jam Jars and Driftwood, the students were: Sophie Barr (14), Naomi Lane (14), Charlotte Hall (14), Sarah Armstrong (15).I spoke to Adam about his thoughts on the youth trader challenge Christmases market.

What was it about this project that made you want to be involved?“The minute I heard about the project I was super excited and just had to be in-volved as it brought together two things I

am passionate about; youth enterprise and market trading, young people turning amaz-ing creative ideas into a reality with the help of their School and the Sanderson Arcade”.How impressed were you with contribution of the school?“The contribution from the School was vital to the success of the event and it was bril-liant to see students of ages coming together to start an enterprise and making money”.

Why do you think it was important for the mar-ket to be student lead?“In a time where teenagers tend to get a hard time in the press it was inspirational for me to see students lead by example”.

From judging the event do you think Mor-peth has some good potential business men and women?“Morpeth is oozing entrepreneurial tal-ent like a lot of towns although the differ-ence is they turned their ideas into a reality”.

You said you want this to become an annual event, why is that?“It was the talk of the town on the day and I had to agree that an event this amazing that moti-vated and inspired the whole town and created a real buzz should be built on year on year”.

Finally on a whole how successful was event?“I would say that the event ran perfectly, from the planning that that was put in before hand to the planning and timing on the day the whole thing ran like clockwork and got amazing results, a real honour to be a part of ”.

Adam was very enthusiastic about the event and supported the students throughout the day, giving them advice on selling tech-niques to help the students shift there stock.

Once an apprentice candidate, Adam who completed all 12 tasks of the BBC One show in 2012 displayed to us his enthusiasm for Mar-ket Trading, the apprentice has proved to be extremely popular amongst the British public as the reality television series has been running since February 2005 when the first series was launched. The popularity grew as the series went on and created a buzz all over Britain as the viewing ratings almost reached four mil-lion on May 5th 2005. The year 2012 showed the eighth series which in episode four ratings reached above eight million. Adam who gained priceless experience and knowledge from this was able to pass on some of this to the bud-ding business brains of King Edwards School. Victoria Najafi, Student Voice, Leadership and Enrichment Co-ordinator, said: “Con-gratulations to all KEVI students who were successful in obtaining a KEVI Christmas Market stall at The Sanderson Arcade Youth Trader Challenge, the response from the public has been overwhelming, the students really did themselves proud, and I have no doubt that we have some future Apprentice stars!” she went on to say “Congratulations in particular to the winners ‘Jam Jars and Driftwood’ - I have no doubt that they will reinvest their money well to develop their fantastic business idea.”So it is evident that the students have been provided with something extra special as Adam noted before that Morpeth has al-lowed its "oozing entrepreneurial talent to turn their ideas into reality. Everyone in Morpeth is hoping an event like this can happen again. We now look to the future to see where our students take their business and hope to see this inspire more young-sters to bring their original ideas forward."

by Dominic James

Love at First Sight? // Community

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Catcher in the Rye - If you liked The Perks of Being a Wallflower then you’ll love this classic novel by J.D. Salin-ger. This ultimate coming of age story is a must-read for any teenager look-ing forward to their life as an adult, or any adult looking back on their time in youth. Protagonist Holden Caulfield guides us idiosyncratically through just a few days of his life, in which, through a series of events which are seemingly largely inconsequential, he undergoes a great deal of self-discovery, and expe-riences life from both a youthful and adult perspective as he struggles - as we all are currently doing, have done, or will do - to move between the two. Jack Taylor

Arrested Development - The ultimate cult comedy. With four series available on Netflix and a fifth one currently be-ing discussed, this sitcom is ranked by many as the most under-appreciated show of all time: indeed, Time, Empire and Entertainment Weekly have all

named it as one of the best TV shows of all time. The maker of Michael Cera’s career and the rejuvena-tor of Jason Bateman’s, it follows the ridiculously dysfunctional Bluth fam-ily, with each and every episode offering not just genius one-liners, but also intricate plot lines which all fall together seamlessly to give the biggest laughs of every episode. Jack Taylor

American Horror Story - Available on Netflix, each of the three seasons focus-es on a different story, the first set in a haunted house ruled by sinister spirits, the second at an asylum where all is not as it seems and the third following the antics of a coven. Having bought myself a Netflix subscription as a post exams treat, I’m now hooked on American Horror Story. Each series is beautifully written, with exciting twists and turns in the plot that leave you hanging off the edge of your seat. The actors are also fantastic, with Jessica Lange winning a second Primetime Emmy Award, a fifth Golden Globe and her first Screen Actors Guild Award for her portrayal of Constance Langdon in season one. I, for one, can-not wait for the fourth series and once you’ve seen even one episode, you will also be unable to contain your excite-ment. Angus Kirk

Ultraviolence, by Lana Del Rey - The titular song of her new album, Ultra-violence by Lana Del Rey is a melod-ic, calming song and could be said to sound ‘spiritual’, like Del Rey has de-scribed the album. The lyrics talk about love, making it sound like they come from a painful personal experience with the choice of instruments creating an air of glamour that makes you feel like you should be looking out of the win-dow on a rainy day whilst smoking a

cigarette in a music video. I might be the only one who got this from the song, but perhaps not. Over-

all, Ultraviolence sets the tone for the rest of Del Rey’s latest album, a melodic, calming, glamourous song. Angus Kirk

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A.D., by Angel Du$t - Hail-ing from Baltimore, Maryland, the skate punk outfit Angel Du$t made a promising start after the release of their debut E.P, Xtra Raw. With songs that touch on anything from the sexual to the socio-political, the band have replicated a tone nostalgic of 80s punk on their latest effort, an LP entitled ‘A.D.’ There’s a sense of honesty present in these youthful tracks, and of course, the members of the band have been involved in the Baltimore punk scene for many years, so have developed an understanding of what it takes to make something great – vocalist Justice Tripp is also the frontman of Baltimore giants Trapped Un-der Ice, who are currently on hia-

tus. With notable energetic tracks such as ‘Smash

You Up’ as well as their single ‘Step-ping Stone’, A.D. offers the skater punks among us something to enjoy over the coming summer.

Mark McGarry

48:13, by Kasabian - Kasabian’s fifth effort is something of a 90s wor-ship. Perhaps not provid-ing the essence of Brit-pop we’re familiar with in their previous work, 48:13 incongruously pays homage to the structure of early clubland an-thems. If lasers made a noise, they’d probably end up sounding something like the band’s latest single, ‘eez-eh’, an infec-tious blend of synth and syncopation that screams of festival madness, along with an equally psyche-delic track, ‘bumblebeee’. Perhaps not as confident as their earlier albums, 48:13 incorporates tracks that will mould in beau-tifully with Kasabian classics like ‘Fire’ and ‘Club Foot’, offering the band an alternative to their usual guitar-driven hits. Mark McGarry

The Grapes of Wrath, John Steinbeck - This may seem an odd book to review, as it is not a new one, but an old one, a classic. Despite be-ing first published 75 years ago its setting dur-ing a time of socio-eco-nomic upheaval during the Great Depression has significant parallels with society today, such as the growing role of women within the family and work, the fight for worker’s rights, crises of faith and family break-down. Written by John Steinbeck, (Of Mice and Men) it follows the Joad

family of Oklahoma, tenant farmers who are removed from their land, so without a home or work journey across America to California in search of a new life. Facing extreme heat, fierce opposition from the Californian pub-lic, police brutality and the exploitative measures of business men they are forced to undertake extreme measures to survive whilst battling severe illness, pregnancy and depression. Their pur-suit of the American dream mixes an enthralling storyline and strong charac-ters while parallels with modern society make this a rewarding read of a modern classic. Liam Tiffin

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Lana is set to grace us with the second addition to her discography: Ultravio-lence. We've been gifted already with 4 singles from the album, whetting our appetites for the main course which will be released in the UK on 16th June.Thanks to her whirlwind success with Video Games in late 2011, Lana is now the hot sh*t and the imminent Ultra-violence has her fans giddy with antici-pation. She has described the record as ‘cinematic and dark’ and the singles, re-leased early June, conform to this. There is a more laid-back feel, stepping away from the bouncy hip-hop/orchestral composition and penchant for cym-bals; Ultraviolence, two years on, shows Lana’s still standing by her sugar daddy and in full pursuit of the American Dream (in her fabled red dress), and the record feels kind of like Born to Die’s stoner little sister. West Coast, produced by The Black Keys’ maestro Dan Auerbach, is a woo-zy, sultry, exotic patchwork of blues, and reggae drums with the tempo go-ing up and down, aptly mirroring the rollercoaster that is archetypal Del Rey relationship, as she breathes adoringly about her lover en Español here and

there. Shades of Cool, also produced by Auerbach, is a slightly moodier, smooth, atmospheric ballad in which Del Rey expertly wails with an ethereal quality along to some very kickass guitar (with credit, no doubt, to Mr Auerbach). Brooklyn Baby is much softer and cooler than its counterparts which make you feel like you could be cruising in a convertible along the California coast-line. It reinforces Lana’s place as queen at the pinnacle of the hipster hierarchy. She references Lou Reed, an undis-puted king of cool, with whom she was set to work (and who was also supposed to lend his vocal to the track) before he died on the day she touched down in NYC to meet him. The song pays trib-ute to her musical roots in Brooklyn and contributes to the stoner feel with the narcotics references. Even though her image has been criticised for being fake, Lana’s lyrics are apparently all true to her experiences. So when she tells us, ‘my boyfriend’s pretty cool, but he's not as cool as me’, I'm convinced that this is true, and I doubt anybody is as cool. Ultraviolence, the single, a retro-bluesy-unearthly affair, raises eyebrows

with lyrics like ‘he hit me and it felt like a kiss’; Lana reverts to her old habit of vocal-doubling, giv-ing her words the effect of a choir, praising the ultraviolence, leading unsurprisingly to criticism of her glorifying domestic violence. This, however, is nothing new with Del Rey. Every romance in her world is twisted, and she's definitely one to sugar-coat. Opulence is her thing. Grandiosity and tragedy is her style, and she will make even the most brutal or the most heart-wrenching seem as glamourous as Marilyn Monroe in a négliegée. Lana is in the stance: ready to pounce and to exact revenge on the critics. Prepare to be wooed by your jazz singer. She will sweep you away and fog up your glasses with the sheer scorch of this re-cord, cool you right back down and then crank up the heat again. She's throwing you back to ‘the freedom land of the 70s’ and it's going to be a slow, smooth, open-top, Marlboro-lit, radio-up ride.

by Beth Lamb

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"CHRISTIAN BALE, IN MY OPINION, HEADLINES THE ENTIRE PRODUCTION."

Dir.: DAVID O. RUSSELLStarring: CHRISTIAN BALE, AMY ADAMS, JENNIFER LAWRENCE, BRADLEY COOPER, JEREMY RENNERCert: 15, 138 MINUTES

Irving Rosenfeld (Christian Bale) is a talented small-time conman who gets on the wrong side of the law after taking one job too many. With hot-shot federal agent Richie DiMaso (Bradley Cooper) leading the case against Irving and his partner, Sydney, (Amy Adams) things take a turn for the unex-pected, as the trio work together to take down corrupt politicians and Mafia members. This includes bringing down Carmine ( Jeremy Renner), a good man who Irving has taken a liking to. Richie soon develops a roman-tic attachment to Sydney; but who exactly is playing who? With the precursor of ‘Some

of this actually happened,’ we quickly learn that American Hustle isn’t the serious period piece it’s advertised as - the witty screenwriting and impeccable acting makes it one hell of a production. Director David O. Russell, most well known for Silver Linings Playbook and The Fighter, yet again called upon the talents of Jennifer Lawrence, portray-ing Irving’s disheveled wife Rosalyn, and adding a huge amount of comedic value to the straight-faced film.

Otherwise, I’m sad to say, Lawrence didn’t really pull through. Be it an un-derdevelopment of her character, or how she played the part, that’s all I felt she was – there for comedic value. However, through a loving recreation of seventies style hair, cars, and clothes, reinforced by the fantastic soundtrack (Chicago, ELO, Steely Dan, The Bee Gees) there is a feeling of true authen-ticity - Russell’s assured direction con-vinced me this is how it really was. Christian Bale, in my opinion, headlines the entire production. Look-ing like he ate his iconic character from

The Machinist, I am convinced this is one of his finest performances - the raw emotion portrayed made for a hugely engaging and enjoyable experience at the Tyneside Cinema. That’s not to say the other stars didn’t have an influence; Bradley Coo-per’s eccentric (yet unhinged) FBI agent fit right into the seventies vibe, with button-down disco shirts being prominent in the most exciting scenes. Of course, the fantastic Amy Adams

pulled off a wonderful performance, al-most, I would argue, carrying the entire film. She was introverted to the point where we didn’t even know her char-acter’s true motives, something that is imperative to a crime story. American Hustle was, to put it sim-ply, fun to watch - it’s jazzy, it’s bright, it’s engaging... Everything you wan-from an Oscar nominated production. All in all, definitely recommended; just go into the theatre and relax!

by Jack Auty

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WHEN YOU ARE OFFERED A FAVOR OR MONEY, TAKE THE FAVOR, NOT THE MONEY. JESUS SAID THAT, DIDN'T HE?

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When the opportunity arose to see John Newman live at the O2 Academy, I was curious to see what all the fuss was about. Don’t get me wrong, I thought that ‘Losing Sleep’ was a pretty decent song when I first heard it played on the radio, but the 23 year-old newcomer had nev-er really struck me as anything special. Yet, the fact the he had received two BRIT Award nominations and had managed to sell out every date of his UK tour seemed to suggest other-wise... I went along to the gig fully expecting to be jostled around by a crowd of scream-ing fourteen year olds but I actually couldn’t have been fur-ther from the truth. The fans were mostly older couples and families, which was refreshing to see. The show kicked off with support act, LOLO – a small girl with a big voice. Hailing from Brooklyn, New York, she sounded like a feistier, angrier Adele. Her original songs were fast-paced and punchy; there was a definite feeling that

she was fighting back against her demons, with tracks such as ‘Gangsters’ and ‘Weapon for Saturday.’ But it was her stripped-down cover of Drake’s ‘Hold On, We’re Going Home’ that really showcased the ex-tent of her talent. Young, versa-tile and full of emotion, LOLO (real name, Lauren Prichard) is sure to be a future success. Now on to the man in question. With the crowd eager for the headline act, Newman did not disappoint, with a truly dramatic entrance. For the first five minutes, we were presented with nothing more than a pro-jection of his head on the shiny, silver stage curtain. Then as the opening track reached its cli-max, the man himself was un-veiled; sleek, poised and frozen in front of his microphone. With his slicked-back quiff, crisp white shirt and short trousers and white socks combination, he was a snapshot of another era. After a few mo-ments’ pause, he suddenly burst into life and proceeded to fill

the room with his soulful vo-cals. Alternating between his better-known releases and lesser-known tracks from his album, Tribute, he kept the crowd thoroughly entertained, with smooth dance moves and a larger-than-life stage pres-ence. He has clearly been heav-ily inspired by Motown and the blues, something you might not expect from a working-class Yorkshire lad. Making a strong connection with the audience from the start, he was likeable and genuine. When his lyrics were echoed back to him during his finale of ‘Love Me Again,’ his expression was a picture of bemusement and disbelief at his newfound fame. As far as I’m concerned, this appreciation was very well deserved and his musical talent cannot be denied. ‘Down The Line’ was one of the most in-tense performances I have ever witnessed and the emotions behind the lyrics were raw and evident upon his face. In total

contrast, ‘Gold Dust’ was lively, fun and allowed Newman to resume the cheeky-chappy persona he had conveyed at the start. A particular highlight was ‘Not Giving In,’ an upbeat Rudimental track, which, unbeknown to me, John Newman had featured on. The distinct richness to his voice complimented the dance beat perfectly, show-ing that he is not afraid to venture away from his sig-nature style. I left the gig with a newfound respect for John Newman. His record may show that he is a multi-dimensional and talented artist, but his live perfor-mance proves that he is in fact, much more than this. Like his Motown idols be-fore him, Newman is first and foremost a true show-man, whose main priority is to engage and entertain his audience.by Katy Turner

John Newman

FAVOURITE MOMENTS EVERYONE: Death of April’s new boyfriendJT: One of the sharks getting shot in the head and its head coming offEH: When that shark was about 50 metres in the air and he shot it down with a pistolJT: The shark biting onto a rope and staying there, then climbing up the rope, out of waterAK: After the downstairs of April’s house was filled with water and two sharks, the charac-ters opened the door to find no water outside

We decided to do a new recur-ring feature; starting this issue, we will be reviewing a film as a group, kicking off with Sharknado this time. Created by Syfy, an Ameri-can TV network notorious for coming up with movies featuring large marine animals causing lots of death and de-struction, Sharknado definitely fits this bill. The plot, in a sentence, is that a tornado takes sharks out of the sea and deposits them in LA, where they wreak havoc. It focuses on one group of people, Fin, played by Ian Ziering, Baz, played by Jaason Simmons of Baywatch fame, Nova (Cassandra Scerbo) and George ( John Heard of Home Alone). We are soon introduced to Fin’s ex-wife, April, who is played by Tara Reid (whom you may recognise from Celeb-rity Big Brother in 2011 and American Pie), and his son and daughter, Bobby, played by Alex Arleo, and Claudia, played by Audrey Peeples.Jack Taylor: First of all, I think a fun-damental point was that the sharks in the Sharknado... should have probably died!Angus Kirk: I think you have to just put that all aside to properly enjoy the film, which I did!Laura Cadman: Yeah, I think the in-accuracies just transcribe to comedy, the hilarious lack of physics overrides everything. It’s definitely face value, on

the promotional poster it says ‘all you need to know’.JT: I mean the whole film was so bad, so physically impossible, so ridiculous that it was almost distracting from the actual film to the point where you were more concentrating on the next fault in the storyline as opposed to the sto-ryline. It was 86 minutes long includ-ing credits and an opening sequence, plus establishing shots of the tornado and that completely irrelevant bit at the start on the boat, so I think there could’ve been a bit more room for ac-tual characters.LC: I think they tried to do some sort of character development.AK: Yeah, with the Nova character.LC: And with the ex wife April.Eddie Hantman: Because Nova has this troubled past with the sharks, but there’s only a fleeting mention of that.JT: The elements for character devel-opment were there, just not the actual development.LC: Nova was the best character though.AK: She was the best actress as well!EH: Mind, that isn’t saying much!

CHARACTERS AND CASTING

AK: So, casting, the Nova character I thought was quite well cast.EH: She was a Megan Fox type char-acter.LC: The Australian best friend was aw-ful!!AK: The accent was terrible [until we realised he actually comes from Austra-lia, possibly a strange accent from liv-ing in America] but I quite liked him as a character because I thought he was funny!LC: I hated him because he was annoy-ing, and everything he said was irrel-evant and I wanted him to get eaten by a shark!AK: I think it’s quite typical of action films that the ex wife’s new boyfriend character was very quickly forgotten.JT: That was probably up there with one of the most satisfying moments of the film, when he died!AK: The daughter got on my nerves a bit

EH: The son got on my nerves.JT: The daughter’s worse, because they were like ‘we have to get away from these sharks’ and she was like ‘dad you never cared for me!’ Get over it!AK: I think that was an attempt at character development but it should’ve been set up a bit more, maybe changing the scene in the boat because it didn’t really work.

SPECIAL EFFECTS AND INCON-SISTENCIES

EH: For starters in the opening title it’s a mixture between these guys at the beach and suddenly 1970s surfing!JT: I think there must’ve been some sort of stock footage or footage from National Geographic documentaries or something that was just kind of mixed in and you could clearly see they were taken on different quality cameras.AK: In terms of graphics...JT: the graphics budget must’ve been low!AK: Well the whole film was made for $250 000, and to put that into context they spent £5.3 million on The Inbe-tweeners Movie - that's a little over nine million dollars.

EDITING

JT: I thought some of the editing was pretty laughable as well, like that scene at the start of the film when the people were on the jetskis and we had no clue whether the people were going towards or away from the beach!

OVERALL VERDICT Despite the scientific impossibility of the Shark-nado, the whole film was so bad that it was good; a fun, action packed way to spend just under an hour and a half. Shark-coaster from shark to finish!

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Reviews // Creative Writing

Dir: J.C. CHANDORStarring: ROBERT REDFORDCert: 12A, 106 MINUTES

All is Lost is J.C. Chandor’s first film since his well-received feature length debut Margin Call in 2011. The film stars Robert Redford as the sole member of the cast and he does a marvelous job at enticing the audi-ence. The premise of the film centers around a man, whom the audience knows virtually nothing about, sailing on his boat in the middle of the In-dian Ocean. He wakes up one morn-ing to find his phone has been hit and cut open on the side, which leads to numerous problems throughout the film. The film is basically about a man’s survival, as he faces a number of chal-lenges. The audience is never given his

name; all you know is that he is a keen sailor and that he is supposedly mar-ried (he wears a ring on his wedding finger). There are only about five actual lines of dialogue in the film, so for a film to have a main character with no backstory and no actual words spo-ken, Redford and Chandor do an im-peccable job in playing with the audi-

ence’s emotions and allowing them to really feel for Redford’s character. There is beautiful cinematog-raphy in the film, with astonishing establishing shots of the vast Indian Ocean, really highlighting the fact that the character is in the middle of nowhere. There are also numerous under the sea shots of the bottom of

the man’s boat. Starting with tiny fish swimming around under his boat, as these shots occur the danger increases as bigger fish appear, causing big-ger problems. This was a really clever thing to show. There are so many emotive cues in this film that makes it really one of the best films I’ve seen this year. There have been a lot of criticisms of the main character’s knowledge of sailing but to me the film is not about his method of sailing, it’s about his method of surviving. The most beautiful thing about this film, though, is the ending. I am not going to spoil it as everyone should see it, but it really is a fantastic end to an amazing film that makes your heart sink before lifting it right back up.by Emily Craig

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"THERE ARE SO MANY EMO-TIVE CUES IN THIS FILM THAT MAKES IT REALLY ONE OF THE BEST FILMS I’VE SEEN THIS YEAR."

SEAThere is a seaIn front of meIts waves a mass of blue

It stretches out and all around, but I only see you.

It beckons meand when I go I will surely be free

And yet there is a plaguing doubt from somewhere inside me.

Or is it you,you wretched thing,that clouds judgement, wherefore?

And should I leave you far behind to rest upon the shore?

How can I knowwhat I will find when I am in the sea?

What treasures there,that lie in wait, and are they there for me?

Or is this land a safer place, without worry or stress?

And adventure into the seacould be a greater mess.

And what of you, you constant nagwho is so much of me?

Am I to bring my drowning friend to swim in this great sea?

How can I know what I will findwhen I am in the sea?

I cannot know but therein lies the temptation of the sea.

by Jack Taylor

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WORD OF THE ISSUE

Meritocracy (noun)1. An idea created by the ruling classes to legitimate their discrimina-

tion against the working classes.

2. An ideology based around the idea that people are rewarded accord-ing to merit – that is, their effort and ability. A lie.

Example Government: The school system is a meritocracy and exams reward

everybody fairly. There is no discrimination within the school system.Pupils: Haha.

the last mental stimulus before sleep //I leave you as a leaf would do in air;

As flotsam would do in a body of water;

As embers would dance on their upward retreat.

As will we all eventually seek to exist, only for a new group of bodies to walk the earth in a sort of phoenix rebirth,

Perhaps a do-over, a sense of composure for an earth filled with such a close-minded attitude to the natural.

As a last request before slumber, I will ask for a cool breeze, and that will be all.

An ever-pulsating tide, and that will be all.

An ever-burning light, and that will be all.

That will be all.

by Mark McGarry

//the shadow that lies seemingly dormant on the newly-cut hedge won’t be there for long. it will warp, shifting itself, and the sun will no longer reflect it’s rays on the top of the decade-old fiesta over the road, subsequently disallowing a somehow pleasing glint of light to make acquain-tance with your retina. this shadow will be back tomorrow, in due time, but it’s scenery will change. the bird that intently nibbles away at the piece of discarded fruit will be gone, and, along with it’s food, will exist merely as a snapshot of yesterday.

we are able to relate with the shadow and it’s neighbours. people change, circumstances are often demanding and we will lose things we once thought made us happy. but surely, ever it our sub-conscious, are snapshots of our journey.

by Mark McGarry

Here at Student Review, we love a bit of creativity, and poetry is no exception. Poetry has an image, for some young people, of being boring for some reason, which certainly isn't the case. This issue's creative writing section should prove this, with some great poems to leave you feeling pensive.

HAVE ANY FUNNY TINDER LINES OF YOUR OWN?send/tweet @studentreview1 and you could be featured on our next issue

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studentreviewne@gmail.comStudent Review @studentreview1 studentreview.tumblr.com

CONSPIRACY The metric system was only invent-ed so that milk producers could sell you two litres instead of four pints and charge you the same price.

Wake up, people!

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Five reasons to read Student Review: 1. It’s free2. Why not?3. It has cool lists about the Student Review4. There’s a plethora of excellent, high quality content that some extremely dedicated and talented young people have put a lot of time and effort into for your enjoyment, and the least you can do is take a few minutes out of your day to read what they’ve written and somewhat repay their efforts (plus you’ll probably have fun reading it all anyway)5. You’re doing it now

YOUR MOTHER

$#*! my Editor says Django: Unchained, is that

the one with the lizard?

Funny sounding word of the issue

pusillanimous (meaning timid, or showing a lack of courage)

Quick Quiz: Are you a feminist?

Do you believe that men and women should be equal?

Yes, of course they should! Why would you even need to ask

that question!?

Congratulations! You're a feminist,

you rock.

Congratulations. You are a terrible person. You suck.

No, I believe that women are inferior because I'm stupid

and prejudicedHow to recite the alphabet:A) Start at the beginningB) Then move onto the next letter3) I can’t remember the next step$) I never actually learned the alphabet#) Please help me

Us students have a lot of hardship to deal with; balancing a busy schedule of homework, ex-ams, a job, a social life and any extra-curricular activities can get tough. Sometimes we just need a little something to lighten the mood, so Jack Taylor's funny page should definitely hit the spot.

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