stuck in love
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TRANSCRIPT
Analysis Of “Stuck In Love” Nicole Laplante
Introduc;on • The film “Stuck In Love” is a story of the complicated rela;onships that members of the Borgen Family weave in and out of.
• Bill and Erica are the parents, who are divorced. Bill is s;ll in love with Erica and prays that she’ll come back.
• Samantha and Rusty are their kids. • Samantha starts an in;mate rela;onship with Lou, and begins to disclose personal informa;on that she never has before.
• Rusty starts an in;mate rela;onship with a girl in his class named Kate.
• Throughout the story, nonverbal cues, turning points, support, advice, conflict, and various communica;on strategies play out.
From Chapter 5: Nonverbal Messages • A number of nonverbal messages take place in a scene where Samantha is at a
bar. • First, she makes eye contact with a man across the room and he smiles, invi;ng
her to come talk to him. • On her way over, Lou reaches out his arm to stop her. He then warns her about
the guy she’s about to go talk to. • Samantha rolls her eyes while saying “Thanks for the ;p,” sugges;ng that she
doesn’t really care what his opinion is. • Lou then introduces himself anyway, making the gesture of holding out his hand. • Samantha doesn’t take it, and remains standing with her arms crossed, signaling
that she’s not at all interested in opening up and star;ng any kind of rela;onship with Lou.
From Chapter 5: Nonverbal Messages
• Bill’s friend Tricia understands the importance of physical appearance in giving off a good first impression.
• She advises Bill to change his profile picture on a da;ng website because he “looks like a serial killer” and women will pass up the opportunity to get to know him just aSer a quick glance at the picture.
• Bill then tries on ouUits for his first date. • He puts on a suit, and Tricia tells him it’s too professional
for a night out. People modify their dress according to different situa;ons to give off different messages. Wearing a suit at a party or bar could hurt Bill’s first impression, because it gives off the message “I’m very serious and don’t know how to let loose and have fun.”
From Chapter 6: Communica;on in the Life Cycle of Rela;onships
• Turning point-‐ An event or occurrence that marks a rela;onship’s transi;on from one stage to another.
• The turning point in Lou and Samantha’s rela;onship occurs in the car when he plays her his favorite song and she starts to cry, admiZng she has feelings for him but is scared of being hurt.
• He tells her not to worry, and from that point on the two are a couple rather than just friends.
From Chapter 8: Star;ng a Conversa;on
• At the beginning of the film, Kate starts her first conversa;on with Rusty by saying hi in the hallway.
• Kate then makes the comment that she really liked his poem he read in class, a simple approach that invites the other person to respond.
• In order to keep the conversa;on going, she then asks the open-‐ended ques;on of how his thanksgiving was.
• The conversa;on comes to an end when Kate’s boyfriend calls her over.
• She makes leave-‐taking cues of turning around and looking down before verbally telling Rusty she has to go.
From Chapter 9: Suppor;ng Others • Tricia uses some of the recommenda;ons for giving advice in Chapter 9.
• She first asks Bill, “Can I give you a li]le bit of advice?” to see if he even wants any.
• She tells him he should get on da;ng sites so he can re-‐marry before its too late.
• She tells him he’s a great, successful, and handsome guy in order to persuade him and not come off as mean or bossy.
• Finally, she tells him “just to think about it” to let him know she won’t be offended if he doesn’t take her advice.
From Chapter 10: Communica;ng Personal Informa;on
• Samantha and Lou‘s rela;onship becomes much more in;mate aSer he discloses the informa;on about his mom having a brain tumor.
• She is much kinder to him and agrees to go on a date with him. • Samantha reciprocates by telling Lou about her parents divorce and
why she has a poor rela;onship with her mother. • Sharing their personal problems with each other makes them feel
be]er, increasing in;macy as they con;nue to hang out.
From Chapter 10: Communica;ng Personal Informa;on
• Samantha does not disclose personal informa;on to many people in the beginning of the movie out of fear of geZng hurt and her distrust of most people.
• She believes that the costs of sharing such informa;on in in;mate rela;onships outweigh the benefits in her risk-‐benefit analysis.
• She finally discloses informa;on about her mom with Lou, because she trusts him and can see the benefits of emo;onal relief, coping with stress, and making the rela;onship stronger.
From Chapter 12: Managing Conflict
• Forgiveness-‐ a communica;on process that allows partners to overcome the damage done to the rela;onship because of a transgression.
• It takes Samantha three years to finally forgive her mother for chea;ng on her father, aSer her father confesses that he actually cheated on her mother first. She accepts the apology her mother has been saying for years by showing up at her house one day.
• Bill forgives his ex-‐wife for chea;ng on him much faster than Samantha, wishing she’d come back the moment she leS. She finally does come back and verbally apologizes. Bill easily accepts the apology and welcomes her into the home for a Thanksgiving meal.
From Chapter 13: Communica;ng in In;mate Rela;onships
• Kate is in an abusive rela;onship with her boyfriend.
• Kate’s boyfriend displays a high level of possessiveness.
• He grabs her when she tries to leave the party, calls her names, and threatens her if she leaves.
• He finally pushes her to the ground when she’s reached the door and is about to leave.
From Chapter 13: Communica;on in In;mate Rela;onships
• The Borgen Family is a Single-‐parent family, with son Rusty living with his father Bill while his sister Samantha is at college.
• The mother, Erica, lives with another man and only communicates with son Rusty for the most part.
• One guideline for improving family communica;on is to respect individual interests and accomplishments. Bill is very suppor;ve of his children, encouraging them to write and praising their stories. However, Rusty shows li]le support for his sister when she announces she got her book published, weakening the overall family communica;on.
• Another guideline is to respect and adapt to change. Bill does not do this very well, as he is s;ll in love with his wife who’s leS him three years ago. He even claims that she’ll come back. This creates tension in the family, with his kids desperately trying to convince him to move on.
Evalua;on • In Samantha and Lou’s rela;onship at the beginning of
the film, I found that my communica;on style is more similar to Lou’s than Samantha’s.
• Lou seeks support when he’s in a tough situa;on, while Samantha bo]les up her emo;ons and doesn’t trust anyone to talk about them with. Lou is also much more open to developing new rela;onships than Samantha is.
• If I was in Samantha’s posi;on of having divorced parents at such a young age perhaps I would be more cynical about love.
• However, I think I would s;ll be open to star;ng new rela;onships and have a li]le more trust for others than Samantha does.
• I really enjoyed this film and thought it was a realis;c portrayal of the messy, complicated rela;onships that people have.