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SPARKLE WITH SUNNY CONVERSATION

Listening is as good a part of conversation as talking. Atwell says, The art of conversation consistsas much in listening politely as in talking agreeably.

One of the best rules in conversation is never to say a thing which any of the company can

reasonably wish had been left unsaid, says Swift.

This is aptly said. ood conversation is nothing but a tete!a!tete between two e"uals.

The reason why so many fail to talk agreeably is that each one is thinking what to say ne#t, rather

than listening to what is being said.

$ord %hesterfield counsels& 'ever hold anyone by the button, or the hand, in order to be heard out( for

if people are unwilling to listen to you, you had better hold your tongue than their hand.

That is why wisdom lies in following the suggestion. Silence is more elo"uent than speech in somesituations.

)it and a sense of humour are basic ingredients of good conversation. eorge *ernard Shaw and

.+. %hesterton were sparkling.

Shaw was tall and lean, %hesterton was a mini mountain of flesh.

%hesterton poked fun at Shaw with& Shaw, to look at you, it would seem there is a famine in

ngland.

Shaw retorted, To look at you, it would seem you were the cause of it-

There are certain principles which any one can adopt to shine and sparkle as a conversationalist.

%onversation is e#pression of your personality, yet how often we hear people trying to talk like

someone else. They try to adopt a special tone and accent for certain situations. There are many who

imitate Shah ukh +han. They would do far better to try to be there own selves.

Of course, if you are trying to emulate a worthy for a purpose then the attempt will be part of your

genuine personality.

That concerns the manner of our speech. Akin to this is naturalness in matter. )e should not pretend

interest or knowledge. /nsincerity in conversation is soon detected.

Again, this does not preclude an attempt at self!improvement. Someone who speaks angrily andirritably most of the time is certainly reflecting his nature. *ut here is a case for trying to alter that

nature.

0uch unnatural speech springs from nervousness, perhaps from fear of making a fool of oneself. Try

the "uite simple e#pedient of taking a very deep breath or two before speaking. The effect is almost

magical on a nervous conversationalist.

Obviously, there are certain situations of seriousness and solemnity when tact and sympathy are

called for.

*ut by and large, the successful conversationalist is the one who radiates happiness and goodwill.

The person with a chip on his shoulder, with a constant grudge against something or someone,

makes an undesirable companion.

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One way to establish a reputation as a good conversationalist is to find out what other people are

interested in and talk about that.

3eople are always flattered when you en"uire about their interests and activities.

Of all the faults in conversation, sarcasm is the most damaging. Sarcasm is meant to hurt, and

therefore can have no proper place in conversation.

Those who regard sarcasm as a form of humour would do well to remember the poet and

author udyard +ipling4s in1unction about mirth that has no bitter springs.

Otherwise, the sparkling stream of conversation can become muddied and fouled.

6o not give the impression that you are an oracle. 'othing is more damaging to the reputation of a

conversation7that he does not know what he is talking about.

The best conversationalists are those who take in, as well as give out information to others. They read

widely. They keep abreast of events. They are interested in life and people.

"uip yourselves for conversation by the breadth of your interests. eading helps. *ut your

conversation must be fluent, natural and convincing.

2ou cannot converse with your own self. /t is a social occupation between two or more people, and

this factor determines its character.

%onversation is not an academic e#ercise. /t is a personal relationship. /t springs from a deeply

implanted desire to communicate and to be communicated with. Of all forms of communication7

newspapers, books, art, music, broadcasting, films, drama, advertising7conversation remains the

most vital and personal means.

The principle is respect for personality7your own, and that of the people with whom you engage in

conversation.

The humdrum conversation between wife, and husband, which goes all the day long, provides an acid

test.

The two are likely to rub each other the wrong way. /f they follow the basic principles of sparkling

conversation, the possibility of flinging verbal hurts is diminished, if not eliminated.

espect for our own personality will lead to integrity in what we say, in a passion for truth and dignity

in speech, in an endeavour to e#press our true self through what we say. espect for others

will lead to tolerance and understanding.

+eep these ten command!ments7and conversation will become a satisfying and rewardingoccupation.