Spanking TeenagersHere's a hot topic you won't see discussed many places! So I don't even know

all the various prevalent thoughts out there in society. I only know what we've done and how it has worked in our family. I pray it's an encouragement. Families need to know that God is faithful through the teen years as well!

In our family, we began spanking our children, using a rod, when they were all quite little. We have continued as our children became teens. We don't see any reason to stop. If there is rebellion, it will be met with a spank. Children don't start rebelling in their teens, they start rebelling from the beginning! That is the human condition. Teens may continue rebelling, or try new avenues of rebellion, but it is not something new that begins at age 13. My job as a parent is to recognize rebellion at any age, and in any form, and deal with it as God has designed. This includes spanking, using a rod. It also means doing this in a context of love and relationship. The rod alone will not grow delightful children. But together with loving responsiveness, and much time spent together, the use of a rod for spanking is part of God's plan for training up our children. God's Word says that He will generously give us wisdom if we ask for it. (James 1:5) Recognizing rebellion in our children is a part of wisdom, as is knowing what to do about it. We have asked God often for wisdom.

Typically, if a child has been well trained in his earlier years, he will not need many spankings in his teens. But we've found that teens need to know that Mom and Dad still love them and are in charge. Diligence with the rod is a sign of love, as we've seen in scripture: “He who withholds his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him diligently.” Prov. 13:24 NASB. Using the rod to discipline shows love. Teens need desperately to know that they are loved. At a time when a teen's body is growing quickly and he may feel uncertain about his looks, his weight, his coordination, and his social skills, a parent's unwavering love is crucial. This is not the time to remove this important sign of love!

A good friend once confided that her teen, who was hitherto quite pleasant and well trained had suddenly become unruly and unpleasant. She was in her early teens. I knew that these parents had typically spanked their children, so I asked, “Did you stop spanking her?” Indeed they had. These parents had figured that since she was now a teenager, that they should begin withholding discipline. They had tried various other forms, but had stopped spanking her. The results were sorely noticeable.

Relationships change as families move into the teen years. I know, we have four teens in our home as I write this. And they continue to grow and change, as I do as well. But all the reasons for spanking with a rod still apply as the children get older. (see Why We Spank). I must admit that the frequency is minimal, since our children have been consistently spanked as needed from when they were little. And honestly the spanks are now more symbolic than painful, but they are consistent. Picture our big, strapping 16 year old, towering eight inches over me, to whom I turn when I can't open a pickle jar. Is my spank on his seat going to affect his behavior and attitudes? Indeed yes! Not because I'm stronger, but because of my God-given place of authority in his life. I am continuing to be obedient to train him up. And God is faithful to produce the fruit that His word promises: children who are a delight. (Proverbs:29:17).

I cannot say that I've talked to anyone else who spanks teenagers, but with the shroud of fear over this topic, I'm not surprised. But I want people to know that there is at least one family in America who is continuing to take God at His word concerning the value of using a rod for dealing with rebellion in our offspring. And we have found the fruit of it to be very, very sweet.