Some Notes on Writing

From the UNB Writing Centre

Topics

1. Structure: IMRaD & More2. Bugbears, Diction, & Wordiness3. Sentence Length & Coherence4. Passive Voice5. Limits of Self-Editing

StructureO Outlines:O A formal plan serving as your guide

to your thoughtO Writing it out externalizes itO Your own familiarity with your

thought may blind you to your lack of a clear structure

O Try not to rely on “blind writing”

Structure

IMRaDOIntroduction,OMethods,OResults, andODiscussion.

Introduction

1.What we know (lit. review)2.What we don’t know (hypothesis)3.What we did

Literature ReviewO shows your understanding of the

fieldO review the best studies available

(most rigorously designed & executed)

O avoid the temptation to include everything you reviewed (no matter how troublesome it was)

Hypothesis/Research Question

O the FIRST and LAST sentence you will write

O sums up the whole point of the paper“We determined the relative effectiveness of three exercise regimens in promoting health and fitness.”

Hypothesis/Research Question

O Later in the process you may find it useful to add details. . . .

“We determined the relative effectiveness of three exercise regimens, intense interval training, prolonged exercise, and strength training, in promoting health and fitness.”

Hypothesis/Research Question

O So that the final version of your research statement or question—the last sentence you write—is significantly different.

“We determined the relative effectiveness of three exercise regimens, intense interval training, prolonged exercise, and strength training, in improving cardiorespiratory fitness, reducing body fat, and increasing total bone mass.”

MethodsO details of what you didO study design, participants, methods,

data analysisO should only include details necessary

for readers to judge your work/repeat your experiment

ResultsO easy part: the key findingsO again: avoid the temptation of

presenting everything O focus on the general in the text and

the specifics in the data tables

DiscussionO be open about limitations,

inconsistenciesO never draw unjustified conclusionsO use appropriate validity markers

Validity Markers

a. hedges: perhaps, may, might, often, usually, apparently, seemingly

b. emphatics (boosters): clearly, undoubtedly, it is obvious that, of course

c. attributors: “according to Wilson (1999)”

2. Bugbears, Diction, & Wordiness

(illus. Sir John Tenniel, Alice in Wonderland, by Lewis Carroll.)

What Are Bugbears?

O Grammatical howlers, frequently merely conventional or formal errors

O Many do not impair the effectiveness of the communication

O How important are they?

Although high intensity interval training was suppose to increase bone density as well as VO2 max, it failed in this respect.

suppose to

Grammatical BugbearsO Cannot be ignored (“use to,” “should

of,” “in regards to”)O Will always overshadow genuine

achievement to some degreeO Technology cannot yet save us--

MS Word May Not Help!

DictionO Writing Apprenticeship:

expansiveness and dilation have been emphasized over precision and economy

It is time to chooseO The right words and O Words your audience knows.

Novelty & VocabularyO “make it new” is not the always best

advice for selecting wordsO Accuracy and familiarity (of

individual words, not phrases) are crucial

O The evil comes from overly familiar phrases and unnecessarily obscure words

Complex DictionO What do people REALLY think of overly complex diction?

O D. Oppenheimer, Stanford U (2003): O people who use unnecessarily complicated language are viewed as less intelligent than people who use more familiar language

Consequences of Erudite Vernacular Utilized Irrespective of Necessity:

Problems With Using Long Words Needlessly

Ready‑Made Phrases

O Like Frankenstein's monster, "ready‑made" writing is stitched together out of dead parts.

O Avoid phrases that “sound appropriate”

O Use only words you need—and your audience understands

Basic Inflation

• Based on the fact that• Due to the fact that• Exhibit a tendency to• For the purpose of• For the reason that• In spite of the fact

that

Because

Because

Tend to

For

Because

Although

Other Types of Repetition

Redundant Adjectives/Adverbs O future plans O consensus of opinion O especially unique O potential hazard O final outcome

Nominalizations

allocation allocate

assessment assess

compliance comply

determination determine

expectations expect

exposure expose

[had] hopes [of] hoped

Positive AdviceO Find the VERB in the nominalization,

and build the sentence around itO Strong verbs make clear sentences

Where Does It Come From?

O Most of these choices are the result of “length anxiety”

O From early grades, length is the measure of achievement

O Students learn to pad—to be honest, we teach them—and the habit becomes engrained

O Editors then try to take it all out again

3. Sentence Length & Coherence

O Writers are taught to vary the form and length of their sentences

O Length in the wrong place is dangerous

O Proceed with cautionO Selecting length with a clear purpose

is one challengeO Coherence is another

What Length MeansLENGTH QUALITY8 words very easy11 words easy14 words fairly easy17-19 words standard21-24 words fairly difficult25-28 words difficult29+ words very difficult

Long, Graceful Sentences

O A long sentence can still be readableO Key tactic: Move from subject to verb

quicklyO Avoid delaying the subject-verb

progression with long intervening elements

O A sentence which moves from subject to verb rapidly will still be readable even when it is quite long

To the Subject and Beyond

Inferring from behavior the existence and nature of underlying but not observable mechanisms that mediate that behavior is for the cognitive behaviorist the fundamental research goal.

17-word subject—in a 26-word sentence !

17-word subject—in a 26-word sentence !

To the Subject and Beyond

The fundamental research goal of the cognitive behaviorist is inferring the existence and nature of underlying but not observable mechanisms that mediate behavior.

8-word subject—in a 23-word sentence !

8-word subject—in a 23-word sentence !

To the Subject and Beyond

Cognitive behaviorists infer the existence and nature of underlying but not observable mechanisms that mediate behavior.

Better: a 2-word subject—in a 16-word sentence !

Better: a 2-word subject—in a 16-word sentence !

Developing a Feel for Length

O More gradual variations in length are possible

O Increasing length can build to the climax of an argument

O Length should always develop from the rhetorical goal

O Never introduce variety for the sake of variety

4. Passive VoiceO “There are several observations that

could be made. . . .”O “It has been suggested that. . . .”

Passive voiceO Generally misunderstood, by Strunk

& White among othersO Passive verb construction:

Object of transitive verb

“to be”Past participle

Preposition + Subject of transitive verb

Passive voiceO Generally misunderstood, by Stunk &

White among othersO Passive verb construction:

The man was bitten By the dog

Passive voiceO Generally misunderstood, by Stunk &

White among othersO Passive verb construction:

The test was writtenby 30 students.

Expletives & FogO It has been repeatedly asserted that.

. . .O There are significant obstacles to the

further investigation of. . . .O “it” and “there” have no

antecedents; they are “expletives” rather than pronouns

Editing & Memory• Let’s test yours

Memorabilia

5. Why You Are Your Own Worst Editor

O We see what we expect to see;O We interpret as we read;O At the same time, we know communication is robust—and so we are sometimes careless

How Robust?

They're as nothing wring wither way of handing the care; its engine was deflective.

There was nothing wrong with her way of handling the car; its engine was defective

Word: No Help Here

General PrinciplesO Keep track of your purpose and test each paragraph and sentence against it

O Keep your audience in mind and write for them, not at them

O Critique your own writing in relation to that purpose and audience

O Have someone else read your writing

Five Revision Rules

1. Stick to the pointO delete any irrelevant information,

however interestingO you may be able to place it in the

appendixO removing extra information makes

what remains clearer

2. Say what you meanO reading out loud helpsO having another person read it helps

moreO never repeat a phrase you have read

elsewhere unless you understand it thoroughly (the other writer may be wrong)

3. Keep forward momentum

O repeat key words as necessary so that a clear argument develops

O use appropriate connectives to ensure clear progress (example)

Identify the connectives

In saturated air (100% relative humidity), the worms lost about 20% of their initial body weight during the first 20 hours but were then able to prevent further dehydration. In contrast, worms maintained in air of 70-80% relative humidity experienced a much faster rate of dehydration, losing 63% of their total body water content in 24 hours. As a consequence of this rapid dehydration, most worms died within the 24-hour period.

In saturated air (100% relative humidity), the worms lost about 20% of their initial body weight during the first 20 hours but were then able to prevent further dehydration. In contrast, worms maintained in air of 70-80% relative humidity experienced a much faster rate of dehydration, losing 63% of their total body water content in 24 hours. As a consequence of this rapid dehydration, most worms died within the 24-hour period.

4. Indicate interpretations

O Signal all interpretations clearly

The difference in absorption rates is evident in Table 1.

What IS the difference?

4. Indicate interpretations

O Signal all interpretations clearly

Clearly, alcohol is more readily absorbed into the bloodstream from distilled, rather than brewed, beverages (Table 1).

5. Avoid overlap & repetition

O Be concise. . . .

Our results were based on observations of short-term changes in behavior. These results showed that feeding rates did not vary with the size of the caterpillar.

5. Avoid overlap & repetition

O Be concise. . . .

Our observations of short-term changes in behavior indicate that feeding rates did not vary with the size of the caterpillar.

5. Avoid overlap & repetition

O Be concise. . . .

Feeding rates did not appear to vary with the size of the caterpillar (Table 2).

6. Bonus Rule: Make Back-ups!

O Most common error: saving OVER existing document

O Difficult to reverseO Practice saving with a new name so

this never happens

Slideshow (and More)

go.unb.ca/wss