Social HealthSocial HealthRelationship- a bond or Relationship- a bond or

connection between connection between peoplepeople

If we don’t need people then why…If we don’t need people then why…

Is basketball 5 on 5 Is basketball 5 on 5 Is facebook so popularIs facebook so popular Can you not live without your cell phone Can you not live without your cell phone

for one dayfor one day Do girls go to the bathroom in groupsDo girls go to the bathroom in groups Do we have partiesDo we have parties Do we have family reunionsDo we have family reunions

Communication SkillsCommunication Skills Communication- process of sharing Communication- process of sharing

information, thoughts, and feelings with information, thoughts, and feelings with others. others.

There are 3 basic skills associated with There are 3 basic skills associated with effective communication; effective communication; SpeakingSpeaking ListeningListening Body languageBody language

Did you know?Did you know? About 45% of a person’s communication time is About 45% of a person’s communication time is

spent listeningspent listening About 30% is spent speakingAbout 30% is spent speaking Reading can on average take up to 16% of a Reading can on average take up to 16% of a

person’s communication timeperson’s communication time Writing accounts for an average of 9% of all time Writing accounts for an average of 9% of all time

spent communicatingspent communicating It has been estimated that 85% of what you It has been estimated that 85% of what you

learn is learned through listeninglearn is learned through listening ““The only difference between you today and The only difference between you today and

you in 10 years are the people you meet and you in 10 years are the people you meet and the books you read.”the books you read.”

Speaking SkillsSpeaking Skills“A fool looks to be wise if he remains

silent”

Why do you talk? Why do you talk? Things to remember:Things to remember:

Talking is saying what you knowTalking is saying what you know Think before you speak (Talking is not an accident, cussing)Think before you speak (Talking is not an accident, cussing) ““I” message is a statement that expresses your feelings, but I” message is a statement that expresses your feelings, but

does not blame or judge the other person. does not blame or judge the other person. Not what you say it’s how you say it Not what you say it’s how you say it Read Body LanguageRead Body Language You will never rise above your wordsYou will never rise above your words

““The character of a man is known from his The character of a man is known from his conversations.”conversations.”

-Menander (342 BC - 292 BC)-Menander (342 BC - 292 BC)

Define PRIDEDefine PRIDE Excessive self esteem; conceit; arroganceExcessive self esteem; conceit; arrogance

Define HUMBLEDefine HUMBLE modest: modest: modest and unassuming in attitude and behaviormodest and unassuming in attitude and behavior respectful: respectful: feeling or showing respect and deference feeling or showing respect and deference

toward other peopletoward other people

PRIDEFUL people talk too much and don’t listen PRIDEFUL people talk too much and don’t listen enough, think they are always right because they enough, think they are always right because they don’t have enough confidence to be wrongdon’t have enough confidence to be wrong

HUMBLE people listen and learn, they are confident HUMBLE people listen and learn, they are confident enough to admit they don’t know everything enough to admit they don’t know everything

Which are you?Which are you?

Listening skillsListening skills Active listening- actually listeningActive listening- actually listening How do you know if somebody is listeningHow do you know if somebody is listening

Look at the person talking Look at the person talking Don’t interrupt Don’t interrupt Encourage the speakerEncourage the speaker Ask questionsAsk questions SummarizeSummarize EmpathizeEmpathize Don’t steer the conversation onto your problemsDon’t steer the conversation onto your problems

““Friends are those rare people who ask Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the how we are and then wait to hear the

answer.”answer.”Ed CunninghamEd Cunningham

What about TEXTING?What about TEXTING? The average teen sends and receives The average teen sends and receives

about 3,500 texts per monthabout 3,500 texts per month

•How could texting impact your ability to communicate?

Nonverbal CommunicationNonverbal Communication Body language- nonverbal communication Body language- nonverbal communication

through gestures, facial expressions, and through gestures, facial expressions, and behaviorsbehaviors

Mixed messages- Mouth says one thing and Mixed messages- Mouth says one thing and your body says something elseyour body says something else

““What you do speaks so loud that I cannot What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say.”hear what you say.”

-Ralph Waldo Emerson-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Communication PracticeCommunication Practice

Using the sheet of questions, practice the Using the sheet of questions, practice the skills we discussed today.skills we discussed today. Making eye contact, sincerity,Making eye contact, sincerity, listening, listening,

DON’T INTERUPT, give feedback, connect DON’T INTERUPT, give feedback, connect with the person speaking, don’t rushwith the person speaking, don’t rush

Stay with your partner until I tell you to Stay with your partner until I tell you to switch, only do one section of questions switch, only do one section of questions per partnerper partner

RelationshipsRelationships

Types:Types: CasualCasual

• Talk to in classTalk to in class• Sit by them at gamesSit by them at games

CloseClose• Biggest influence on your Decisions Biggest influence on your Decisions • ””You will never rise above your friends”You will never rise above your friends”

• ““Show me a man’s friends and I’ll tell Show me a man’s friends and I’ll tell you their future”you their future”

10 Thoughts about Good Friends10 Thoughts about Good Friends1.1. Friends are fewFriends are few2.2. Friends are selflessFriends are selfless3.3. Friends listenFriends listen4.4. Friends love unconditionallyFriends love unconditionally5.5. Friends are available for adviceFriends are available for advice6.6. Friends are honestFriends are honest7.7. Friends encourageFriends encourage8.8. Friends are sensitive to your emotionsFriends are sensitive to your emotions9.9. Friends are loyalFriends are loyal10.10. Friends accept youFriends accept you

Peer Pressure- the control and influence the Peer Pressure- the control and influence the people your age may have on you.people your age may have on you.

Based purely on need for acceptanceBased purely on need for acceptance Positive- If you do the right thing it may give Positive- If you do the right thing it may give

somebody else the courage to say NOsomebody else the courage to say NO Negative- Nobody wants to be the dumbest person Negative- Nobody wants to be the dumbest person

in the room. in the room.

Types of Manipulation (sneaky or Types of Manipulation (sneaky or dishonest ways to get what you want)dishonest ways to get what you want)

•Mocking , Bargaining, Bribing, Mocking , Bargaining, Bribing, Guilt trips, Blackmail, FlatteryGuilt trips, Blackmail, Flattery

Responding to Negative Responding to Negative Peer PressurePeer Pressure

Passive- give in to everybody, just to try Passive- give in to everybody, just to try and be accepted and fit inand be accepted and fit in

Aggressive- overly forceful, hostile, Aggressive- overly forceful, hostile, attacking in approach- immature approachattacking in approach- immature approach

Assertive- standing up for your beliefs in Assertive- standing up for your beliefs in firm mature wayfirm mature way

Refusal SkillsRefusal Skills

Just say ‘NO’Just say ‘NO’ Establish a reputationEstablish a reputation Avoid tempting situationsAvoid tempting situations Don’t compromise Don’t compromise Don’t sacrifice long-term success for short-Don’t sacrifice long-term success for short-

term funterm fun Know your answer before your asked Know your answer before your asked Never make decisions on the WEEKENDS!Never make decisions on the WEEKENDS!

““Just Say No” AssignmentJust Say No” Assignment

Working with one other person or Working with one other person or by yourselfby yourself, , you will come up with you will come up with a slogan to replace “Just Say No”. a slogan to replace “Just Say No”. For example, “Fear Beer” or For example, “Fear Beer” or “Pass on Grass”. Slogans will be “Pass on Grass”. Slogans will be presented at the end of the hour. presented at the end of the hour.

Types of Relationships Cont.Types of Relationships Cont. PlatonicPlatonic

• Opposite sex but not datingOpposite sex but not dating Good sideGood side

• Learn about the opposite sex without Learn about the opposite sex without datingdating

• Gives a chance to ease into datingGives a chance to ease into dating• Gives you a different perspectiveGives you a different perspective

Negative SideNegative Side• Viewed differently by guys and girlsViewed differently by guys and girls• Leaves people vulnerable for Leaves people vulnerable for

manipulationmanipulation

DatingDating  

Why date???Why date??? Acceptance Acceptance Learn about opposite sexLearn about opposite sex FunFun Learn how to communicate in a Learn how to communicate in a

relationshiprelationship Learn from mistakes nowLearn from mistakes now Learn what to expect Learn what to expect Learn what love is or is notLearn what love is or is not

Dangers of DatingDangers of DatingLust gets in the wayLust gets in the wayLeads to confusion over what love Leads to confusion over what love

really isreally is Immaturity leads to poor Immaturity leads to poor

relationships (jealousy, lying, relationships (jealousy, lying, yelling, abuse, possessive)yelling, abuse, possessive)

Poor relationships leaves scars for Poor relationships leaves scars for future relationships (emotional future relationships (emotional damage)damage)

Lose friendshipsLose friendshipsDamage family relationshipsDamage family relationships

Who should you date?Who should you date? Someone that’s hot Someone that’s hot Respect your values Respect your values Similar valuesSimilar values MatureMature Around same ageAround same age Similar interestSimilar interest Similar goalsSimilar goals Someone that makes you betterSomeone that makes you better

Who should you not date?Who should you not date?

ImmatureImmature JealousJealous Abusive (verbally, physically, mentally)Abusive (verbally, physically, mentally) Someone you’re trying to changeSomeone you’re trying to change Control freakControl freak Someone that is negativeSomeone that is negative Someone with a bad historySomeone with a bad history InsecureInsecure Someone that you have to justify datingSomeone that you have to justify dating

Every kind of Addiction begins with Every kind of Addiction begins with similar self-deception.similar self-deception.

““This won’t hurt anybody”This won’t hurt anybody” ““I’ll only do it once”I’ll only do it once” ““I’ll be careful”I’ll be careful” ““I can handle it”I can handle it” ““I can quit whenever I I can quit whenever I

want”want” ““It’s no big deal”It’s no big deal” ““I’ll be safe”I’ll be safe” ““I’m not stupid about it”I’m not stupid about it”

““I’m not doing anything I’m not doing anything wrong”wrong”

““People do it all the time”People do it all the time” ““I’m not hurting anyone”I’m not hurting anyone” ““Nobody’s going to find Nobody’s going to find

out”out” ““Nothing bad is going to Nothing bad is going to

happen”happen” ““All my friends are doing All my friends are doing

it”it”

Surface level:Surface level: What it means:What it means:

Guys need Guys need respectrespect

Guys would rather feel unloved than Guys would rather feel unloved than inadequate or disrespectedinadequate or disrespected

Guys are Guys are insecureinsecure

Guys worry that if they are found out Guys worry that if they are found out for who they really are no one would for who they really are no one would care about themcare about them

Guys are Guys are visualvisual

All guys struggle with keeping eyes All guys struggle with keeping eyes where they need to bewhere they need to be

Guys are out Guys are out for one thingfor one thing

Guys are physical and struggle to Guys are physical and struggle to keep there bodies under controlkeep there bodies under control

Guys are Guys are toughtough

The tougher a guy acts the more The tougher a guy acts the more insecure they areinsecure they are

Imagine you are sitting in class, and a Imagine you are sitting in class, and a new girl with a great body sits down a new girl with a great body sits down a few desks over from you. What is your few desks over from you. What is your reaction to her?reaction to her?I openly stare at her – 13%I openly stare at her – 13%I’m drawn to look at her and I sneak a I’m drawn to look at her and I sneak a peak or glance at her from the corner of peak or glance at her from the corner of my eye – 52%my eye – 52%I can’t help noticing her, but I try to stop I can’t help noticing her, but I try to stop myself from looking. – 30%myself from looking. – 30%Nothing happens, it doesn’t affect – 4%Nothing happens, it doesn’t affect – 4%

Now imagine that the same hot girl goes to the front of the class to give a report. She’s all business, but is wearing clothes that accentuate her figure. If you’re not careful, would there be a possibility that you would picture her naked either now or later?

Yes, almost definitely (and even this survey question risks raising images in my mind — 39%

Yes, possibly – 46% No, that would never occur to me – 15%

ComplimentsCompliments Acknowledging a Acknowledging a

person’s self worthperson’s self worth Difference between Difference between

compliment and compliment and sexual harassmentsexual harassment

Stay out of the Stay out of the STRIKE ZONESTRIKE ZONE

Receiving a ComplimentReceiving a Compliment

Don’t get embarrassed Don’t get embarrassed Don’t downplayDon’t downplay Don’t ignoreDon’t ignore Don’t redirect attentionDon’t redirect attention Don’t argue or fightDon’t argue or fight Just Say THANK YOUJust Say THANK YOU

AssignmentAssignmentWrite 3 paragraphs about dating.Write 3 paragraphs about dating.11stst paragraph is WHY you date paragraph is WHY you date

22ndnd What qualities do you expect What qualities do you expect in someone you datein someone you date

33rdrd is about What you will not is about What you will not tolerate in somebody you datetolerate in somebody you date