SAFE DATE NOTES

RELATIONSHIP – A BOND OR CONNECTION YOU HAVE WITH OTHER PEOPLE.

RELATIONSHIPS ARE ‘SOCIAL’ COMMITMENTS. WHAT ARE SOME TYPES OF RELATIONSHIPS THAT ARE POSSIBLE?

WHO MIGHT YOU HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH?

THERE ARE MANY DIFFERENCE TYPES OF RELATIONSHIPS:

• FAMILY

• FRIENDSHIPS

• CASUAL

• ROMANTIC

SPORT TEAMS

YOUTH GROUPS

RELIGIOUS GROUPS

ROLE – HOW YOU BEHAVE OR ACT IN A RELATIONSHIP.

YOU HAVE A CERTAIN ROLE IN EACH OF THE FOLLOWING POSITIONS - CERTAIN EXPECTATIONS AND BEHAVIORS.

Child Employee

Student Neighbor

Athlete

Sister or brother

Partner

FRIENDSHIP

A SIGNIFICANT RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE BASED ON TRUSTCARINGCONSIDERATIONRESPECTHONESTY

HOW DO YOU CHOOSE YOUR FRIENDS?

One of Maslow’s basic human needs is

TO BELONG AND BE LOVEDINTIMACY refers to a feeling of close attachment and belonging together. Types:

Physical Emotional CognitiveExperiential

Intimacy results from a close bond formed through knowledge and experiences with the other.

3 types of communication styles

Aggressive = being overly forceful. It might involve bullying or intimidation. Not paying attention to other’s feelings or needs.

Passive = being unwilling or unable to express thoughts or feelings. Putting other’s needs ahead of your own.

Assertive = expressing your feelings and needs clearly and respectfully. Standing up for your rights while respecting others.

PHYSICALLY ABUSIVE BEHAVIORS

HITTING SCRATCHING

PUSHING BITING

CHOKING SHAKING

PUNCHING PINCHING

RAPING SPITTING

SHOVING PULLING HAIR

EMOTIONAL/PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSIVE BEHAVIORS

Ignoring a partner’s feelings

Insulting a partner’s values and beliefs

Acting in an intimidating way

Calling a date names

Isolating a partner from friends or family

Acting jealous or spreading rumors

EMOTIONAL ABUSE (continued)Scaring a partner

Keeping a partner from leaving

Humiliating a partner in public or private

Telling lies

Threatening to hurt oneself or partner

Damaging a partner’s property

HARMFUL BEHAVIORS BECOME ABUSE WHEN . . .THEY ARE USED TO:

MANIPULATE another person

GAIN CONTROL or POWER of someone

Make YOU FEEL BAD about YOURSELF or OTHERS

Make YOU FEEL AFRAID of your partner

Make someone FEEL GUILTY

PROGRESSIONNo relationship is perfect. There

may be feelings of confusion, anger, or jealousy-this is normal in relationships.

EMOTIONAL ABUSE MIGHT NOT BE “ABUSIVE” IF ONLY DONE ONCE.

BUT . . . IT BECOMES A PROBLEM WHEN…..

THESE ACTIONS HAPPEN MORE THAN ONCE AND BECOME A REGULAR

BEHAVIOR IN THE RELATIONSHIP.

AND WHEN USED TO MANIPULATE , CONTROL OR MAKE SOMEONE FEEL

BAD.

Why do people abuse?

PEOPLE ABUSE TO CONTROL THE WAY SOMEONE ACTS

PEOPLE ABUSE TO CONTROL THE WAY SOMEONE FEELS

PEOPLE ABUSE TO CONTROL THE WAY SOMEONE THINKS

SHORT TERM Consequences of abuse

Getting into trouble with school or law

Feeling intimidated or afraid

Feeling bossed or controlled

Get physically injured

Being humiliated or upset

Feelings of guilt, anger, or confusion

LONG TERM Consequences of abuse

• Losing friends and being isolated

• Criminal charges or jail time

• Becoming depressed, feelings of suicide

• Withdraw and isolate self

• Not trust future relationships

• Believe it is normal behavior

Barriers to Getting HelpFear of hurting their dating partner

Fear of getting into trouble with one’s parents

Fear of being blamed or not believed

Fear of retaliation from abusive partner

Fear of being judged

Embarrassment

Not knowing HOW to improve the situation

SAFE SKILLS FOR BUILDING EQUAL POWER THROUGH COMMUNICATION

S Stay calm- use calming strategies to feel cool and collected

A Ask questions – Ask honest and open questions to better understand the situation

F Find out feelings – Find out how the other person feels about the situation that is causing the disagreement

E Exchange ideas for a possible solution