Descriptive Writing:Show, don’t just tell!

Paint a picture, create a movieYour writing should paint a picture or create a movie in the mind of the reader.

Using vivid descriptions can help your readers feel as if they are there with you.

Add sensory details that make use of the five senses

See what’s happening or what people are doingHear the words and soundsFeel the sensationsSmell the smellsTaste the flavor

Choose words that are specific, precise, and colorful

Specific nouns: the Taj Mahal, king cobra, Miley CyrusPrecise-action verbs: crush, twisted, salivateColorful adjectives/adverbs: slimy, ravenous, dazzling

Use figurative language to enhance the imagery

1. Simile: compares two unlike things that have one quality in common by using the words like or as (The rug was soft as a bed of moss.)

2. Metaphor: compares two unlike things that have one quality in common without using the words like or as (The trip was a nightmare.

Juliet is the sun.)

Use figurative language to enhance your imagery

3. Personification: giving human qualities to an object or an idea (The old house creaked and complained about its worn and aching joints)

4. Exaggeration/Hyperbole: stretching the truth to make a strong statement (He was so ravenous that he ate everything but the table)

Describe the specific setting using sensory details

“The pale peaks of the mountains were coming nearer, moonlit spikes of rock sticking out of the black shadows” -J.R.R. Tolkien“It was late and everyone had left the cafe except the old man who sat in the shadow the leaves of the tree made against the electric light.” -Ernest Hemmingway

Sensory detail, metaphor, and simileOnce in a long while, four times so far for me, my mother brings out the metal tube that holds her medical diploma. On the tube are gold circles crossed with seven red lines each--"joy" ideographs in abstract. There are also little flowers that look like gears for a gold machine. According to the scraps of labels with Chinese and American addresses, stamps, and postmarks, the family airmailed the can from Hong Kong in 1950. It got crushed in the middle, and whoever tried to peel the labels off stopped because the red and gold paint come off too, leaving silver scratches that rust. Somebody tried to pry the end off before discovering that the tube falls apart. When I open it, the smell of China flies out, a thousand-year-old bat flying heavy-headed out of the Chinese caverns where bats are as white as dust, a smell that comes from long ago, far back in the brain. -Maxine Hong Kingston

Specific, precise, and colorfulInside, the school smelled smartly of varnish and wood smoke from the potbellied stove. On gloomy days, not unknown in upstate New York in this region south of Lake Ontario and east of Lake Erie, the windows emitted a vague, gauzy light, not much reinforced by ceiling lights. We squinted at the blackboard, that seemed far away since it was on a small platform, where Mrs. Dietz's desk was also positioned, at the front, left of the room. We sat in rows of seats, smallest at the front, largest at the rear, attached at their bases by metal runners, like a toboggan; the wood of these desks seemed beautiful to me, smooth and of the red-burnished hue of horse chestnuts. The floor was bare wooden planks. An American flag hung limply at the far left of the blackboard and above the blackboard, running across the front of the room, designed to draw our eyes to it avidly, worshipfully, were paper squares showing that beautifully shaped script known as Parker Penmanship. -Joyce Carol Oates

Organize your descriptions

Descriptive writing is often organized with an introduction, a body, and a conclusion. 1. Introduction: identify your subject, and capture your

reader’s attention2. Body: include sensory details, figurative language,

thoughts and feelings3. Conclusion: Summarize the information you have

presented, emphasize the most important impression

Organize your descriptions

Present your details in a way that makes sense to the reader: from top to bottom, left to right, near to far, most recent to least recent, etc.

Your assignment: write a descriptive essay

1. Write a minimum of 4 paragraphs, each paragraph must contain a

minimum of 3 sentences each.

2. Paragraph 1 should introduce your topic.

3. Paragraphs 2-3 (or more than 3) should be the body of your essay.

4. The last paragraph should be a conclusion.

5. You may not use the following words in your essay: good, bad, very,

extremely (use more precise, descriptive words instead).

6. You may submit your essay on this blog, or write it in your journal.

7. The 1st draft is due on Monday, October 6.

Suggested topics (these are just suggestions, you may describe whatever you want)

Your favorite place in Hong KongA city/country you used to live in, that you have visited, or that your family comes fromA time in your life that is important to you Hong Kong or another place at some time in the past or the futureAn object that is important to youA person or animal that you care about

Why can’t you use the words good, bad, extremely or very?'Very' is the most useless word in the English language and can always come out. More than useless, it is treacherous because it invariably weakens what it is intended to strengthen. ~Florence King

Why can’t you use the words good, bad, extremely or very?