scotts task1
TRANSCRIPT
-
8/3/2019 scotts task1
1/15
A factory near your home has recently started using loud machinery at night. You are not happy about
this.
Write a letter to the local council. In your letter:
describe the situation
explain why you are not happy say what you want the local council to do about the situation
Writing Lab 1, Task 1:
Sample Answer(Time taken: approx. 18-20 minutes)
Dear Sir/Madam,
I am writing in relation to an issue that is causing problems for me in my local area. There is a bicycle factory thatis making a lot of noise late at night and I am unable to sleep.
I am currently working as a chef and when I arrive home, I am completely exhausted. After spending a little timerelaxing, my need for sleep is vitally important. I usually go to bed around 11:00pm but even at that late hour, thenoise from the factory does not stop! I am sure you can understand my great frustration with this situation.
I would like to strongly urge a member of the council to visit the bicycle factory and remind them that 11pm issimply too late to be creating such loud noises. I would also appreciate a formal, written notice be sent to thebicycle factory reminding them that it is illegal to be working so late near a residential area.
I look forward to a positive outcome regarding this matter.
Yours faithfully,
Marcello Davis
(171 words)
Why this answer would score well
Was the questionanswered? all aspects of the question have been covered (i.e. all THREE bulletpoints)
Was it easy tounderstand and were
the ideas wellorganised?
good logical flow of ideas
the letter is well-organised, it covers all the aspects of the question
(ie. describe the situation; explain why you are not happy and; say what youwant the local council to do about the situation)
-
8/3/2019 scotts task1
2/15
there are good linking words/ideas throughout the answer:
I am writing I am currently I would strongly urge you to I look forward to a positive outcome
Was the vocabulary
appropriate? the tone is formal to a council member you do not know
the closing salutation is correct and formal when the letter begins
with Dear Sir/Madam - Yours faithfully
spelling and punctuation are good
approximately 180 words
Was the grammar
accurate? the grammar is correct
You are living in an English-speaking country and want to arrange some English lessons to help with
your job. You notice an advertisement for an English teacher who lives nearby.
Write a letter to the local teacher. In your letter:
explain where you saw the advertisement
say what and why you want to study
suggest where and when you would like to study
Sample Answer(Time taken: approx. 18-20 minutes)
Dear Mr. Jennings,
I was recently browsing the advertising section of the local newspaper when I came across your advertisement forEnglish lessons. I would like to receive some English instruction from you.
I am currently working as a salesman in a local telephone shop and I find that I am not able to communicate aseffectively as I would like to. I think that my lack of English ability is causing me to lose out on some sales. Iwould therefore appreciate your help in developing my fluency in customer sales. I would like you to teach me how
to generally communicate better with customers.
I would like to begin the lessons early next week. Do you have a designated classroom or are we able to study atmy home? If it is possible, I would prefer to study at my home. Please contact me any time on 98 473 232 todiscuss a suitable time.
I really hope that you will be able to help me to become a better salesman!
-
8/3/2019 scotts task1
3/15
Yours sincerely,
James Li
(170 words)
Why this answer would score well
Was the questionanswered? all aspects of the question have been covered (i.e. all THREE bullet
points)
Was it easy to
understand and were
the ideas wellorganised?
good logical flow of ideas
The letter is well-organised, it covers all the aspects of the question
(i.e. explains where you saw the ad; states what and why you want to studyand; where and when to study).
there are good linking words/ideas throughout the answer:
I was recently I am currently I would (therefore) appreciate I really hope that you will be able to
Was the vocabularyappropriate? the tone is formal to a teacher you havent met before
spelling and punctuation are good
The opening salutation uses an actual name (because you saw his ad
in the newspaper) so the appropriate closing is Yours sincerely.
170 words
Was the grammaraccurate? the grammar is correct
A friend from overseas has contacted you about an idea for a new business he/she is planning to start in
your country.
Write a letter to your friend. In your letter:
explain about the business environment in your country
describe the most popular products in your country
say what you think about the business idea
-
8/3/2019 scotts task1
4/15
Sample Answer(Time taken: approx. 18-20 minutes)
Dear Dimitri,
What a surprise to receive your letter yesterday! I am thrilled to read that youre planning to start an English schoolhere in Korea!
It seems as though you have a well thought out business plan so this will greatly help your future success.However, Id like to offer some caution: dont think that its going to be easy to be successful over here. There aremany Westerners who come to Korea and open businesses and end up losing all their money. I hate to benegative, but I dont want this to happen to you! I have to say however, that along with computers, mobile phonesand iPods, English is a very popular product here in Korea.
I think that your idea of establishing an English school in Korea has a good chance of being successful. I think youshould come over for a visit soon to determine the best location and interview some local people for staff positionsin the school.
Ill do all I can to help you to be successful!
See you soon!
Hye-kyo
(174 words)
Why this answer would score well
Was the questionanswered? all aspects of the question have been covered (i.e. all THREE bulletpoints)
Was it easy to
understand and werethe ideas well
organised?
good logical flow of ideas
The letter is well-organised, it covers all the aspects of the question
(i.e. about the business environment (in Korea); the most popular productsand; the writers opinion of the business idea).
there are good linking words/ideas throughout the answer:
I am thrilled It seems as though However, Id like to I have to say I think that/you... Ill do all I can...
Was the vocabulary the tone is informal to a friend
-
8/3/2019 scotts task1
5/15
appropriate?
spelling and punctuation are good
The opening salutation uses the actual name of your friend
(because you saw his ad in the newspaper) and the closing is appropriately
informal See you soon!
174 words
Was the grammaraccurate? the grammar is correct
A carpenter recently did some work in your home, but there are some things that have not turned out as
you wanted.
Write a letter to the carpenter. In your letter:
describe the work that has been done
say what you are unhappy about
describe what you would like the
Sample Answer(Time taken: approx. 18-20 minutes)
Dear Mr. Timmons,
I am writing about the recent work you did on my kitchen cupboards. While most of the work you completed was
acceptable, unfortunately there is one major thing that will require additional attention from you.
As you are well aware, the job you were paid to perform was to make and install new kitchen cupboards. I amhappy that most of them have been well installed however, there is a problem with some of the doors.Unfortunately several of them are not closing properly. Last night my wife hit her head on the corner of one of thedoors and this caused some bleeding.
What I require is that you return to properly finish the job you were paid to do. I am expecting visitors fromoverseas next week and I do not want work being done while they are here. I therefore request that you fix thisproblem on either Thursday or Friday of this week. Please contact me to confirm the day.
I look forward to your prompt attention.
Yours sincerely,
Igor Jarbatnick
(171 words)
-
8/3/2019 scotts task1
6/15
Why this answer would score well
Was the questionanswered? all aspects of the question have been covered (i.e. all THREE bullet
points)
Was it easy tounderstand and werethe ideas wellorganised?
good logical flow of ideas
the letter is well-organised, it covers all the aspects of the question
(i.e. the work that has been done; what the writer is unhappy about and;
what the writers wants the carpenter to do)
there are good linking words/ideas throughout the answer:
I am writing about Whileunfortunately... As you are well aware I am happy to sayhowever... What I require... I therefore request... I look forward to...
Was the vocabularyappropriate? the tone is formal this is a letter of complaint
spelling and punctuation are good
the opening salutation uses the name of the carpenter (the writer
must have met him if he had done work at his home)
The closing is appropriately formal when the receivers name is used
Yours sincerely.
171 words
Was the grammaraccurate? the grammar is correct
carpenter to do
You took your family to a near-by restaurant. You were disappointed with the meal and wish to
complain to the manager.
Write a letter to the manager of the restaurant. In the letter
explain why you were at the restaurant
describe the problems
write about the action you want the manager to
Sample Answer
-
8/3/2019 scotts task1
7/15
(Time taken: approx. 18-20 minutes)
Dear Sir or Madam,
On December 16th a group of six of my family members went to your restaurant to celebrate my mothersbirthday. We attended at your restaurant because it is close to our home and we had heard some good comments
about your food from some of your past patrons.
Unfortunately, when we ordered the family sized pizza, we found that there was barely enough to feed three ofour party of six! Your servings were simply too small for the price that you charged. I think that it would be a goodidea to either change the amount of food you serve to your customers, or reduce the cost of the meals because atthe moment I think your prices are too high for the amount of food you serve.
I think the quality of the food itself was fine, only the amount of food served and cost were disappointing. I hopeyou will be able to implement these suggestions because we would like to eat at your restaurant again in thefuture.
Yours faithfully,
Mattias Staganalli
(172 words)
Why this answer would score well
Was the questionanswered? all aspects of the question have been covered (i.e. all THREE bullet
points)
Was it easy tounderstand and werethe ideas wellorganised?
good logical flow of ideas
the letter is well-organised, it covers all the aspects of the question
(i.e. why the writer was at the restaurant, a description of the problem and;the action the writer wants the manager to take)
there are good linking words/ideas throughout the answer:
On December 16th Unfortunately...we found I that it would be a good idea to... I think the qualitywas fine...only the amount I hope that you will...because
Was the vocabulary
appropriate? the tone is formal this is a letter of complaint
spelling and punctuation are good
The opening salutation uses Dear Sir or Madam so when we do not
know the name of the recipient, the correct formal closing is Yours faithfully.
-
8/3/2019 scotts task1
8/15
172 words
Was the grammar
accurate? the grammar is correct
You are employed full-time and also doing a part-time evening course. You are not able to continue the
course.
Write a letter to the course lecturer. In the letter
explain why you cannot continue the course
describe the situation
say what you will be doing
Sample Answer(Time taken: approx. 18-20 minutes)
Dear Mr. Brown,
I am writing to you regarding the course I am currently studying at your institution. Unfortunately, I am notgoing to be able to continue my studies with you because I have had to take on additional work responsibilities.
Despite the long hours I am currently working as a day cleaner, the money I have been earning is not sufficientto support my family. As a result, I am forced to take on some additional night cleaning work with anothercompany.
This new cleaning position has created an obvious conflict with my current part-time studies at the college. Iam reluctant to cease my studies and hope to continue with them once my financial situation becomes a littlemore manageable. I have been enjoying my studies and hope to continue them next year - can my fees betransferred to next year?
I am hoping that next year this new night-time cleaning position will not be necessary but at the moment, I amforced to pursue this course of action.
I look forward to your response and thank you for your time.
Yours sincerely,
Leo Chen
(182 words)
Why this answer would score well
-
8/3/2019 scotts task1
9/15
Was the questionanswered?
all aspects of the question have been covered (i.e. all THREE
bullet points)
Was it easy to understand
and were the ideas wellorganised?
good logical flow of ideas
The letter is well-organised, it covers all the aspects of the
question (i.e. why the writer cannot continue the course, a description ofthe situation and; the action the writer will take).
there are good linking words/ideas throughout the answer:
I am writing to you
Unfortunately I am not
As a result...
I been enjoying
I am hoping
I look forward
Was the vocabularyappropriate?
the tone is formal this is a letter to an academic institution
spelling and punctuation are good
the opening salutation uses Dear Mr. Brown (the writer obviously
would know the name of his/her instructor)
The closing is appropriately formal when a real name (Mr. Brown)
is used - Yours sincerely.
171 words
Was the grammaraccurate?
The grammar is correct.
You recently had your computer fixed at the local computer store however you are not pleased with the
service you received.
Write a letter to the store manager. In the letter
describe the situation
explain why you are dissatisfied say what action you want the manager to take
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with the level of service I recently received while at your computer store.
I have been having problems with my computer hard drive lately so on Tuesday last week (April 11) I decided to go
-
8/3/2019 scotts task1
10/15
to your store to get it repaired. I was forced to stand in a long line, waiting to be served, carrying a heavy harddrive while several of your staff laughed, drank coffee, and generally did a very poor job of serving yourcustomers. In my opinion, their behaviour was completely disrespectful and made a very bad impression upon allthose waiting to be served. To make matters worse, as the line progressed, several of your staff simply looked atme as I struggled to pick up and then carry the hard drive!
I was so disappointed with the service that I returned to my car. I expect some compensation for theinconvenience your rude staff caused me. I would like my computer fixed for free.
I await your response.
Yours faithfully,
Zbigniew Wrobel
(172 words)
Why this answer would score well
Was the questionanswered? all aspects of the question have been covered (i.e. all THREE bullet
points)
Was it easy to
understand and werethe ideas well
organised?
good logical flow of ideas
the letter is well-organised, it covers all the aspects of the question
(i.e. it described the situation, explained why the writer was dissatisfied and;
the action the writer wants the manager to take)
there are good linking words/ideas throughout the answer:
I am writing to express ...on Tuesday last week In my opinion... To make matters worse I expect I await
Was the vocabulary
appropriate? the tone is formal this is a letter of complaint
spelling and punctuation are good
The opening salutation uses Dear Sir or Madam so when we do not
know the name of the recipient, the correct formal closing is Yours faithfully.
172 words
-
8/3/2019 scotts task1
11/15
Was the grammar
accurate? the grammar is correct
Last week you met a director of a large company that operates in your city. Yesterday, you received an
email from him asking if you would like to work in his company. You are not interested in the job.
Write a letter to the director. In your letter:
thank him/her for the job offer
explain that you are happy in your current job
suggest someone who may be suitable for the position
Dear Mr. Sargent,
It was a real pleasure to meet you last week and a great surprise to receive your email as well.
I was truly surprised by your very kind offer to join your company as a sales consultant. I feel very humbled byyour offer and pleased that you have considered me suitable for such an important position within your company.
Unfortunately, in this instance I must reluctantly decline your kind offer. As I mentioned in our discussions lastweek, I am currently working for Microsoft and enjoying immensely my sales position there. The work isdemanding, but as part of a sales team I am learning a great deal and see myself working towards an executiveposition in the near future.
In the meantime, may I recommend my friend Adam onowski as a strong potential candidate? He has a strongbackground in sales and is currently looking to improve his experience and professionalism. He can be reachedon mobile 042 658 934,
Once again, many thanks for your kind consideration and offer.
Yours sincerely,
Zbigniew Wrobel
(179 words)
Why this answer would score well
Was the question
answered?
all aspects of the question have been covered (i.e. all THREE bullet
points)
Was it easy tounderstand and werethe ideas wellorganised?
good logical flow of ideas
the letter is well-organised, it covers all the aspects of thequestion (i.e. the director is thanked for the job offer, an explanation aboutthe current job is given and; a suitable person is suggested for the position)
-
8/3/2019 scotts task1
12/15
there are good linking words/ideas throughout the answer:
I was truly surprised I feel very humbled... Unfortunately... In the meantime Once again
Was the vocabularyappropriate? the tone is formal this is a business letter to a director of a large
company
spelling and punctuation are good
the opening salutation uses Dear Mr. Sargent - the writer met the
manager (last week) so it is obvious that the name of the director is known
the closing is appropriately formal when a real name (Mr. Sargent) is
stated - Yours sincerely
179 words
Was the grammar
accurate? the grammar is correct
You have recently noticed that a popular childrens playground in your local area is in bad condition.
Write a letter to the local council. In the letter
say why you feel the playground is important
describe its current condition
say what you want the council to do
Sample Answer(Time taken: approx. 18-20 minutes)
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing about an important issue that relates to the children living in our local area the local playground. Theplayground located in Robson Park is used by many children over the course of a week. It is the source of muchfun and laughter, a safe meeting place for many children.
Unfortunately, I have recently noted a problem with the playground it is looking very run-down and generally inbad condition. The seats on the swings are broken and the slide appears to have some rusty screws whichchildren could easily tear their clothes on. I also am worried about there being no shade for the children in timethere could be a legal problem related to skin cancer!
I strongly suggest that immediate repairs be made to the seats and slide. The issue with the shade is something Ifeel the council should seriously consider. Childrens young, fair skin is highly susceptible to sunburn and a largeshade roof would help to solve the problem.
-
8/3/2019 scotts task1
13/15
Our local children will surely appreciate the improvements!
Yours faithfully,
Oscar Robles
(184 words)
Why this answer would score well
Was the questionanswered? all aspects of the question have been covered (i.e. all THREE bullet
points)
Was it easy tounderstand and were
the ideas wellorganised?
good logical flow of ideas
the letter is well-organised, it covers all the aspects of the question
(i.e. why the playground is important, the current condition of the playgroundand; what the writer wants the council to do)
there are good linking words/ideas throughout the answer:
I am writing about Unfortunately... I am also worried... I strongly suggest
Was the vocabularyappropriate? the tone is formal a letter of complaint
spelling and punctuation are good
The opening salutation uses Dear Sir or Madam so when we do not
know the name of the recipient, the correct formal closing is Yours faithfully.
184 words
Was the grammaraccurate? the grammar is correct
Your friend visited you and stayed at your house for a week. He/she left this morning and left his/hermobile phone at your house.
Write a letter to your friend. In the letter
say how you felt about the visit
explain that the phone was left at your house
recommend a way to return the phone
-
8/3/2019 scotts task1
14/15
Sample Answer(Time taken: approx. 18-20 minutes)
Dear Tina,
Hello my friend! I guess you are surprised to hear from me so soon? I must say that I totally enjoyed your visit thispast week!
A few hours after you left, I began doing some cleaning up in your guest room and guess what I foundyourmobile phone! Actually, Im surprised that I was able to find your phone because it was lying under the bed. Itmustve fallen between the bed and the wall. Anyway, its now sitting on my kitchen bench and ready to bereturned to its owner.
Im wondering, how you would like me to get the phone back to you? There are a few options but probably thebest would be via overnight mail. The problem is I dont know your new physical address could you send it to mevia email ([email protected]) that way I can return the phone to you faster.
Anyway, it was great spending some time with you and I look forward to spending some more time together soon!
Your friend,
Deepika
(174 words)
Why this answer would score well
Was the question
answered?
all aspects of the question have been covered (i.e. all THREE bullet
points)
Was it easy tounderstand and were
the ideas wellorganised?
good logical flow of ideas
the letter is well-organised, it covers all the aspects of the question
(i.e. how you felt about the visit, the phone was left and; a recommendedway to return it)
there are good linking words/ideas throughout the answer:
A few hours ago Actually, Im surprised... Anyway, its now... Im wondering how
Was the vocabularyappropriate? the tone is informal a letter to a friend
spelling and punctuation are good
The opening salutation uses Dear Tina the name of the friend and
-
8/3/2019 scotts task1
15/15
Your friendis an appropriate closing
174 words
Was the grammar
accurate? the grammar is correct