Vol.6 Staunton Military Academy, Staunton (Kable Station), Va., Saturday, September 30, 1922 No 1

S. M. A. BEGINS HER SIXTY-THIRD YEAR

Unusual Dispatch Shown in Registering and Classify-

ing; Full School

On September 14, 1922, Staunton Military Academy began its sixty-third session. The opening for the session '22-23 showed a noticeable lack of con- fusion and greater order than for many years. Ninety per cent, of the corps was enrolled and uniformed by noon of the opening day. Also the companies were organized and drills were held in the same afternoon, an unprecedented

record. The entire registration and organi-

zation was executed with a preciseness that made even the new cadets appear like veterans. An unusual amount of premeditation and executive ability was exercised by the authorities to bring "order from chaos" in such an extreme-

ly short time.

The official date of the beginning of the institution was Thursday, Septem- ber 14th, but as far as three days ahead of time, the "early birds" begin to ar- rive, and by Wednesday, the 13th, a sufficient number of cadets were in town or on the grounds to justify regis- tration to begin a day ahead of time, and by the end of that day 280 boys had been enrolled.

The method of registration consisted of first obtaining a registration blank from the secretary of the school. The cadet then reported with his blank to the Head Master's office for academic classification, and after that to the Com- mandant's desk in the President's office for assignation to his room and com- pany.

So far the progress has been the same for both old and new cadets. If he happened to be a new cadet, he next re- ported to gymnasium, in the North Bar- racks, temporarily turned over to the Quartermaster's department, to be uni- formed in riding breeches, grey shirt, lie. fatigue blouse, and cap. The mili- tary tailors took the measurements of all new cadets, while in the gym.

If he happened to be an old cadet he

(Continued On Page Three;

HONOR SCHOOL

THE KABLEGRAM is very much pleased to announce the academy's place again on the Government list of accredited Honor Schools.

That small silver star on the right sleeve will continue to be worn, with much pride by every old cadet who helped to fight for it.

Y. M. C. A. PROGRAM FOR SESSION '22-23

Capt. Thomas Plans Many Things for this Department

of the Institution

The newly elected officers of the Y. M. C. A. have already planned for a vigorous program for the coming ses- sion. They wish the "Y" to take the place in the life and activities of the Academy which it deserves. Among the things they planned before leaving in June were:

(1) To give a "Handbook" of useful information to each cadet, with the compliments of the Y. M. C. A.

(2) To make a canvass for member- ship, and enroll 100 per cent, if possible in Association work.

(3) To send delegates to the various conferences and conventions to which we are entitled to representation, and to have a large delegation at Blue Ridge in June, 1923.

(4) Have a stunt night some time early in the session.

(Continued On Page Seven)

CHANGE LEAVE DAYS FROM OLD CUSTOM

The new schedule of leave for the school year of 1922-23 was published at retreat of September 20th. It ran as follows: Leave will be granted the corps on Friday night from after sup- per until ten p. m. On Saturday leave will be granted to the corps from after inspection in the morning until retreat at six-fifteen p. m. Sunday afternoon leave will be granted from after dinner until retreat at six-fifteen p. m. These leaves applying to all cadets having no punishment to serve or duty to per- form.

A word of explanation in order to

(Continued On Page Three)

ACADEMIC AWARDS AND DECORATIONS

Plan Adopted Heretofore to be Continued; Good Re-

sults Obtained

It is important that the system of academic awards and the customs con- nected with that system should be brought to the newcomer's notice. It would not hurt the old boys to read this over and set for themselves some dis- tant mark to attain in the future.

First, a word about the system of awards. The awards are divided into four classes. The lowest award, which is known as the "Award of the Third Class." The next highest award, known as the "Award of the Second Class." Followed one higher by that, known as the "Award of the First Class." And last, the highest possible attainment, the "Highest Award."

The "Award of the Third Class" con- sists of a bar a half-inch wide and an inch and a quarter long, made of metal and covered with cloth in Blue and Gold, the school colors. This bar is given at the end of each quarter to all cadets who have made at least seventy per cent, in every subject.

The "Award of the Second Class" is the same as that of the third class ex-

(Continued On Page Six)

COTILLION CLUB TO ORGANIZE SOON

It is a fine opportunity to introduce in this first issue of THE KABLEGRAM

the Cotillion Club and its purposes. Last year the Cotillion Club did not get under way till late in the season, but for the short while it existed it made the most successful dances ever held at S. M. A. What should be done this year is to start the Cotillion Club as soon as possible so that it may take hold of

(Continued On Page Six)

SUBSCRIBE TO THE KABLEGRAM

Every cadet in S. M. A. should be a subscriber to this paper. It is the only institution on the Hill which is run entirely by the cadets alone. Its existence depends solely upon the support it receives from the corps through subscriptions and from our friends who advertise with us. With- out subscriptions it must perish. The price is only one dollar and a half for the year, payable in advance. THE KABLEGRAM is considered one of the best prep school papers in the country, and is well worth the subscrip- tion price if any such paper is, and it will be a priceless memento to have in after years. Every cadet in the school will be waited on by a committee in due time for his subscription, but one should not wait to be urged to do his duty. Look up Cadet E. A. Snyder, or Lt. Moody, or the Chaplain and enter your name now for this year.

KABLE GRID SQUAD ROUNDS INTO FORM

Large Number Out for Team Schedule Not Yet

Complete

About a half-hundred huskies of the S. M. A. variety are tussling with the pigskin every day now in an effort to win first athletic honors of the session by making the academy team. Most of the material is new, but new things al- ways instill hope, and some team is looked for after thorough coaching by Capt. Robert A. Bringham, a West Pointer, who has had much experience on the football field. Captain Manning, who did such good work last year, will not be able to return to the school un- til Christmas, due to present confine- ment in a hospital following an opera- tion.

Preliminary practice work has been in progress for a week and another week will see a team in shape to meet Greenbrier at Greenbrier, W. Va.

Old men working in the try-outs in- clude McConnell, McDonald, H. O., Case and Wheeler, J. F.

Of last year's second team who look good so far are Davis, W. J., Cum- mings, E. T., Rosenbloom, Plyler, Turn- bull, Neid, and Woodruff, R. One of the outstanding new men is Baker, but there are a large number of others who are making a good showing.

Lt. Taylor is assisting Capt. Bring- ham in the coaching, and Lts. Benson and Aylor are also aiding in rounding out the line.

The schedule is not yet complete, but will be soon, and will be published in these columns. The prospects are very good for another winning team this season.

LAST YEAR CADET DIES FROM INJURY

It is with great regret that THE

KABLEGRAM announces the death of Cadet Fred B. Anderson. Anderson played first base on the varsity team last year, was a member of our cham- pionship rifle team, played on the foot- ball team in the fall, and had an excel- lent all round record for a first year man. In spite of these things he was not conceited in the least. There was not a bettcr-likcd "rat" in the corps last year.

Fred was practicing in a football game on Wednesday, September 8th, when he was seriously injured. Two operations

(Continued On Page Three)

THE KABLEGRAM

Letter From the President of the Academy Boys, it is a great pride and joy to

me to be able to say to you that we have just finished the most auspicious opening of S. M. A. that it has been my pleasure to experience, and this is my nineteenth year with the Old School. If the beginning is any indication, and it certainly ought to be, of what the session is going to be, then we are in- deed facing the very finest and best year of our history. Let each one of you ask himself what his contribution is go- ing to be. Remember that the whole is no better or greater than the sum of its parts. If each individual makes a good record as a student and as a cadet, then the school will as a whole make a good record as an organization, and in every phase of its activity. And do not forget that the poor or medium record of any one boy reacts and lowers to a propor- tionate degree the standards of your school and mine. Be sure to start right. You know when it is time to work and time to play; be just as faithful and full of spirit for the one as for the other. Do not let the other fellow influence you unless it be for good, and even at

that, it is far better and more whole- some for you to be a good influence yourself and on your own initiative. I often think that you (you who are read- ing this article) and I and the other fellow constitute all that are here, and if you and I resolve in our hearts to make good, the other fellow will simply have to make good from the sheer force of our example. As a matter of fact, there is no greater force in this life than the force of example. You may preach and appeal and beseech until you are out of breath, but unless you also set the example you are of no avail as a power for good among your asso- ciates. And this should bring home to you another thought. The force of your example is what really constitutes your influence. Now, what kind of influ- ence are you? Either you are going to help the school and the other fellow, or you are going to hurt. Classify your- self.

Glad to see you back, boys, you boys of former years; glad to have you new boys join us. Now, all together ! "Let's go, S. M. A., let's go !"

Major Wonson's Letter to the Corps

It is with the greatest pleasure that T take this opportunity to extend a most hearty welcome both to those who have been with us in previous years and to those who are now with us for the first time.

While our equipment may be adequate for all the necessary purposes of teach- ing, your accomplishments here will in a large measure depend upon your own exertions. As I have had occasion to remark before, we furnish the oppor- tunity and you must take advantage of it.

Work that is serious and regular will always count for more than work that is spasmodic, and you can be satisfied if you have given to your work the very best that is in you.

In closing I would like to say that I hope the year will be both a pleasant and a profitable one to you, that you will avail yourself of all the opportuni- ties of mental and physical development that the Academy affords, and that at its conclusion you will be able to look back and be entirely satisfied with what you have accomplished.

Uniforming the Corps

Captain Kelly and an able corps of assistants were very busy the first few days of school in getting the cadets into proper uniforms. This task was far

from easy as there are more than five hundred and fifty boys enrolled, and at least half of them are new boys. Of course the new boys have no regulation clothes at all, and therefore must be completely outfitted. In addition to these most of the old boys were in need of one or more articles in order to make their uniforms complete.

The outfitting staff have been using the gymnasium for their labors. Sev- eral long tables were erected and on these the uniforms were spread out. As the cadets came in they were given a fatigue cap, a grey shirt, breeches, fa- tigue coat, two black ties, and a half dozen stocks. At the same time they were measured for the remainder of their uniforms. After the new boys had been uniformed then the old boys were marched in and measured for what uniforms they will need this year.

The supply room staff have done a big piece of work in the last few days and have done it exceptionally well. The result of it is that the corps was all uniformed only two days after school had been officially opened.

Columbia Grafonolas and Records

Augusta Furniture Co. 11-15 S.Augusta Street

Rensselaer Established 1824

TROY, N. Y.

Polytechnic Engineering and Science Institute

Four-year Courses In Civil Engineering (C. E.), Mechanical Engineering (M. E.).Electrical Engineering (E. E.), Chemical Engineering (Ch. E.), and General Science (B. S.). Graduate Courses.

Modern and fully equipped Chemical, Physical, Elec- trical, Mechanical and Materials Testing Laboratories.

For catalogue a; d Illustrated pamphlets showing work of graduates and views of buildings and campus, apply to Registrar, Pittsburgh Building, Troy, N. Y.

A. W. DOVE S.M. A. Barber-Room 4

Open 8 to 6 Week Days 8 to 9 Saturdays

2—Barbers- 2

J. H. WORTHINGTON J. S. McNEIL

CLARKE WORTHINGTON J. L. GOODLOE

Worthington H'dw. Co., Inc. Jobbers of Hardware

AND Sporting Goods STAUNTON, VIRGINIA

The NU-WAY ATLANTA T I

STYLE Lunch WEINER HOT-DOG, HAM- BURGER, CHEESE and HAM

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Everything 5c

Beverly Book Store Incorporated

MASONIC TEMPLE Staunton, Virginia

A. M. A. Pennants, Memory Books,

Stationery

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COHENS RESTAURANT Announces

Revised Prices on Entire Menu When you add to this the best food obtainable, polite, atten

g tive service and added improvements to make cheerful and comfort- § « able surroundings, is it any wonder that "COHEN'S" lias had the § W the patronage of discriminating folks for over twenty-five years in § 14 the restaurant business in Staunton? Q soiraaiO^Oifio^oso^osososo^ososoffiO^ososoffiO^OffiOsoso^osfiOKOsc

Thomas Hogshead S. M. A. Cadet Drug Store

THE HOME OF

COURTESY SERVICE QUALITY

Attention Cadets! you. We are agents for the following lines. other exclusive lines. WHY NOT OPEN A CHARGE ACCOUNT WITH US ?

Why not come in and select your made-to-order suit now, we will have it ready for your GOING HOME. You may select your hat, cap, shirts, collars, ties, underwear and hosiery now, and we will reserve them for

E. & W. Shirts and Collars. Van Heusen Collars. Young Hats Etchison Caps, and many

Atlantic Woolen Company TAILOR'S CLOTHIER'S MEN'S FURNISHERS Cor. Main and New Streets

THE KABLEGRAM

MAX MIX Virginia Hotel Barber Shop

4 BARBERS 4 Virginia Hotel

OLD DOMINION CIGAR STORE

Next to Virginia Hotel

Cigars, News, Candies and Magazines

Attention S. M. A. Boys Before you leave for your Summer Vacation, be sure you call

to see our line of beautiful Novelties and Jewelry suitadle for your Mother, Father, Sister or best girl. Our prices

are the very lowest for the best goods.

D. L. Switzer Jeweler 19 East Main Street Staunton, Va.

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Shop Where You Profit Musi We are showing, exclusively: -

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Playing the Best in Stage and g fin

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I GRADUATION GIFTS Why not remember your school friend with a "GIFT THAT

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Be sure to see our MOTHER'S DAY cards.

H. L. Lang & Co. Je-elers Staunton, Va

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The Guard

(Continued From Page Four)

are chosen to act as orderlies. The en- tire guard is renewed every day at four o'clock in the afternoon, when guard mount is held. On Saturdays and Sun- days, however, this ceremony will be held immediately after dinner. Later in the spring guard mount will be held after full dress parade on Sunday af- ternoons.

Change Leave Days (Continued from Page One)

make more clear the exact duration of these leaves. The Friday night leave beginning after supper can be said to be- gin at about a quarter of seven. Sat- urday's leave, which begins after inspec- tion, can roughly be said to begin about a quarter to eleven in the morning, sometimes sooner, seldom later. As can readily be seen, this leave extends through Saturday's dinner hour. This meal is optional. If the cadet desires he may have his dinner in town or, if from financial strain or otherwise, he may eat "upon the hill" as usual. The Sunday afternoon leave begins approxi- mately at one-thirty.

These various leaves are approxi- mately the same as those of last year, with the exception that the corps was granted one mid-week leave which came on Thursday afternoon after drill, and our long leave day fell on Monday, while we went to school on Saturday.

S. M. A. Begins Her (Continued from Page One)

next endeavored to recognize his trunk from among the groups of trunks of other arrivals, and directed several ne- groes, from a large group waiting near- by, to earn some extra dough.

On the noon of the 14th, companies were organized, and drills were held on Kable Field, old boys acting as instruc- tors.

Guard details and guard mounting were begun on the first day, but only two privates were detailed daily, to act as orderlies. The regular detailment of twenty-three privates of the guard be- gan on the 18th, and for the first time of the session sentinels maintained dis- cipline in the barracks.

For two days drills were held in the morning and afternoon, the school of the soldier and school of the squad be- ing rapidly learned.

The following day, Monday, the 19th, course cards were issued and academic work was begun.

The first-year men look very promis- ing, and the best of last year's corps

has returned. There is no reason why this year's showing can not stand among the highest of S. M. A.'s sixty-two years.

■ Last Year Cadat (Continued from Page One)

were performed. The amputation of a leg was necessary in the second, result- ing in his death on Wednesday morn- ing, September 13th, at one o'clock.

A collection was taken among the old boys of the corps and a floral offering was sent signifying their respect and appreciation for him.

Tennis

The tennis courts are now in the best of condition and new nets have been purchased and are up.

For these reasons the courts are filled and many are waiting during the re- creation periods.

There are a number of both old and new boys who show excellent form and play- a speedy game with plenty of strategy.

With these things in mind, one can be confident that we can establish our name in this branch of athletic next spring.

Alumni News

Cadet Loppacker is at Bethany Col- lege, Bethany, W. Va. He would like to hear from his old friends and ac- quaintances of S. M. A.

Cadet McAlister is at Washington and Jefferson College, Washington, Pa. He is very much interested in news from S. M. A.

Ed. Cresswell, '22, Cadet Lieut, and Asst. Adjt. last year, entered Harvard this fall.

Hal Houghton, '22, batallion sergeant- major last year, will enter the University of Texas.

Altman Diehl, '22, captain M. G. Co. and editor-in-chief of the KABLEGRAM

last year, will enter the University of Pennsylvania this fall.

Ernest Felbaum, winner of last year's conduct medal, will also illuminate the portals of University of Texas.

Barber Shop Announcement

Mr. Dove, the ba'rber, wishes to an- nounce to the corps that he was joined in the shop last Monday by a Mr. Fret- well. Mr. Fretwell is a very experi- enced man and worked with Mr. Dove twelve years ago. With the aid of Mr. Fretwell, Mr. Dove is able to promise to the cadets first class work in every re- spect.

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S. M. A. B O YS: ATTENTION:

When Down Town Be Sure To Stop At CHRIS' Because Quality, Service and Prices Will Please You |

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THE KABLEGRAM

THEKABLEGRAM Published bi-weekly by the Corps of Cadets of Staunton Military Academy.

E. A. SNYDER Business Mgr.

Subscription price, $1.50 a year, in advance.

Advertising rates will be furnished upon application.

SATURDAY, SEPT. 30, 1922

ACKNOWLEDGMENT

Cadet E. C. Mayer acted as chief editor in putting out this number of THE KABLECRAM. Others who con- tributed were Cadets Foy, Wilson, J. G., Roberts, and Plyler. There were a few contributions by some who failed to give their names.

To All Loyal Cadets

This is an appeal to all the men in S.

M. A. who have any journalistic ambi-

tion, however small, to make an effort

to develop it by writing for THE

KABLEGRAM. The staff of the paper has

not yet been selected, and will not be

for at least three more issues. Each

issue will be gotten out for these first

few times by boys who wish to try out

for the editor-in-chief's place or for

other positions on the editorial staff.

Those men who show the most interest

and the best work, and who we think

would devote themselves most earnestly and conscientiously to their tasks, should they be chosen editors, are the men who are going to be picked as a permanent staff for this paper. We are anxious for every cadet in school to contribute to THE KABLEGRAM. We want those who have written for other publications at other schools to write for this paper. We want those who have never written before for any paper to try for this one. We want news, poems, jokes, rhymes—anything that would be of interest to our readers. Of course, the copy must be original, or its source must be indicated.

For the time being all contributions should be turned in to Lieut. Moody, or placed in the small mail box on the bulletin board in South Barracks, where it will be gotten by some one in author- ity. We want any boy who feels he would like to be editor-in-chief or an associate editor to see Lt. Moody as soon as possible and talk the matter over. Those who would like to act only as correspondents, contributing anything they see fit, should just go ahead and do this without consulting anyone. The next paper comes from the press in two weeks, and all copy must be in in one week from now. If the corps will back the paper up with contributions as well as subscriptions we should get out a paper this year better than in any previous year of its history.

LIEUT. MOODY.

Homesick?

Are you homesick, Cadet? Especial- ly you who are new to S. M. A. Does it seem to you that the world has just naturally turned its horny old back on you and given you the go by? Does it seem as though you can't bear to think of having to stick it out here for a whole year? Well, it's a rotten feeling, isn't it?

But—did you ever look at it in this light? When you come here and get homesick and would give all you pos- sess, or ever hope to possess, to find an honorable way to get home once more; don't you think that you feel like more of a real man after you have stuck it out? Hasn't it made you stronger and more able to face the hard knocks that you are sure to get later on in life?

The fellow who does not stick it out, the one who finds some excuse to leave because it seems a little hard at first, is most certainly not as good a man as the one who stays with it. Are you going to stay or are you nothing more or less than a quitter? Quitter is a hard word to use, but surely a man is a quitter if he does not stand up and face the music in this way as well as any other.

You can get away if you try real hard. No one is going to question that. But where will you go after you do leave? What will you tell your friends at home? Your friends know that you went off to S. M. A. in expectation of attending school there this year. Do you think for one minute that you can fool them with some story as to the reason for your return home ? It can't be done. Many of them have had to fight the old homesickness themselves, and they will surely know that you weren't able to stand the gaff.

Five hundred cadets at S. M. A. have fought homesickness to a finish every year, and probably some of them were more sick than you are—BUT the point is, they fought a winning fight and won. Make up your mind to show what you are made of and STICK IT OUT! o

The Sixty-third Year

September 14th marked the opening of another school year for S. M. A. It is the sixty-third time that this event has taken place, and it is to be hoped that the record of the corps for this year will outshine those of all past years. If this new corps which is being formed is to do this it has some job ahead of it, as last year's corps set a mark which will be hard to beat.

After many months of hard work the corps was ready and waiting when the government inspector came to inspect the school in the spring. They stayed at Staunton for three days, and during that time the corps was put through all of its paces. These extended from dress parades to field problems. The inspecting officers seemed well pleased, and left without saying much.

Shortly afterward, when Major-Gen- era! C. E. Snow, Chief of Artillery of the United States Army, was passing through Staunton on an inspection tour of artillery R. O. T. C. units, he de- cided to stop over and review our in- fantry unit. He was much surprised and pleased with the results he saw, and

went away glad that he had taken the time to look us over.

Major-General C. S. Farnsworth, Chief of Infantry, United States Army, also inspected the corps a few days later. His visit was without a doubt caused by the favorable report of the inspectors who had been here shortly before. He was more than pleased and said that the work being done pleased him, not only because of the individual instruction that each cadet was receiv- ing, but also because of the service that the institution was giving to the nation.

The same week Major-General C. J. Bailey, who is in command of the Third Corps Area, inspected the institution, accompanied by his Chief of Staff, Col- onel F. S. Corhen, and Capt. H. Adam- son, Infantry Aide-de-camp. These of- ficers made a thorough inspection of the buildings and barracks and expressed their entire satisfaction with the system then being used.

After camp, during commencement, General Frank Parker, United States Army, who gave the commencement address to the corps, wished to review the corps, and on the morning of June 6th the corps passed in review before him. He also was surprised at the ability of the cadets, and was very glad to have had the opportunity to review the corps.

This present battalion will have quite some job ahead of it to make a record which will attract the attention of such noted soldiers as these. It is starting with a clean slate, however, and it is entirely up to the battalion whether or not the sixty-third year will be the banner year for S. M. A.

o

Swimming Team

The writer has noticed quite a num- ber of excellent swimmers and divers improving their strokes in the swim- ming pool. The question naturally comes to mind, "With one of the finest natatoriums in the state and such ex- cellent material, why can't we put out a swimming team that will permanently establish our reputation in that sport?"

Last year our friendly enemies, A. M. A., came regularly twice a week to the Staunton Y. M. C. A. pool, and in every meet they had they scored the majority of the points.

Almost every school of any size in- cludes a swimming team among their various athletic squads. Surely we are rot among those very small schools who cannot gather a team. With our gov- ernment rating with which we are hon- ored, our admirers will expect us to be patrons of all athletics, and will be sur- prised if we do not have a swimming team, especially if they are familiar with our pool and the opportunities it affords the development of such a team.

Undoubtedly among the faculty there are several, or at least one, who can hold his own in the water, and who will be willing to enter whole-heartedly into training of an S. M. A. winning team.

Let the next week or two see the or- ganization of such a team.

The Guard

We gleaned the following from

the Columbia (S. C.) State:

REGRETS

I did not know then, when with troubled eyes

You said good-bye, then when the morning came

The day's soft light could never be the same;

That when the crimson in the even- ing dies,

The twilight wind would whisper out my sighs,

The evening breeze would whisper forth your name,

And saddened thoughts would happy mem'ries maim.

And when I think that you know not the ties

That bind my heart and cause a hungering ache,

That need again your voice, again your smile,

And count each moment from you as a pain,

pus spjoM pjnoo j ye\\\ pjnoA\ j thoughts unmake.

I need you now, if only for a while: I miss you now; I want you back

again. —MARSHALL M. PRICE,

Staunton, Va.

lived under military discipline before, perhaps it is as well to print a few words of explanation as to the why of the guard. You have all been here long enough now to know that there is such a thing and that it is changed daily. Also, maybe you have found, perhaps to your annoyance, that this same guard very materially restricts your move- ments at various times.

First of all, what the guard is for. and second, what it is composed of. In an essentially military institution such as this there must be some unit whose sole purpose is the maintenance of dis- cipline. The guard is that unit. It is changed daily because it is a very tiring and absorbing duty, and no one cares to spend more than twenty-four hours as a member of it. The guard's business is to see that the rules and regulations of the academy are not broken and in case they are broken to report the offender. Maybe at some time you have been stopped by some member of the guard as you were about to do something. This displeased you, but it may have saved you from doing something which you would have been reported for.

The guard is composed of an officer in charge who is a member of the Fac- ulty ; an officer of the day, who is a cadet officer; an officer of the guard, who is a high ranking cadet sergeant; a sergeant of the guard, four corporals, and twenty-three privates. Of these privates, twenty-one walk their posts and two, usually the two neatest men,

(Continued On Page Three)

For those new cadets who have never

The public is watching you when you don't see it or them. It is the world's largest detective force, all the shoes rubber-soled and an eye at every key hole.

—GEORGE ADE.

THE KABLEGRAM

HASH

M. B. S.

Over the "Hill" and far away Is a street where pretty girlies play, Offering a kiss or a shy caress; (Which are oft the source of much

distress). But not for us—they're M. B. S.

II. In church we watch them from above, Our thoughts obsessed with brother-

ly (?) love. But that's as near as we can press. (The balcony floor of the old First

Pres.) For these pretty girls are—M. B. S.

—B. R.

RAT'S LAMENT I.

Ah woe is me a "rat" to be! To ply a broom and such

I thought but fit for servantry; But now I do it—much.

II. I now "fin out" like any goof

And often have to hump Myself, lest I go soaring through the

roof A broom-print on my rump.

III. Oh mother's boy has ceased to be!

I know she'll not like that. For I—poor I—who once was he,

Am nothing but a rat! —B. ROBERTS.

A young woman in Washington had been describing to a friend in the dip- lomatic corps her experience as a moun- tain climber abroad.

"Ah, mees," said the count, "so you climb zat mountain. Eet was a foot to lie proud of."

"Pardon me. Count, but don't you mean feat?"

"O-o-h," exclaimed the count, "you climb him more zan once?"—Wayside Tales.

"STUMBLING" Stumbling all around, stumbling all

around, stumbling all around, Oh Lordy! That's no way to step,

that's no way to step, that's no way to step!

So stop your stumbling, and quit that mumbling, or

Just a little beat, just a little beat, quite a little beat!

—B. ROBERTS.

We wish to announce that it is with extreme pleasure we notice that Ted Clements has at last realized his ambi- tion and will be able to use the saber he brought with him last year.

Looks are deceiving. T. J. C. Mayo, one of our new, very new, dashing old boys, thinks so, anyway. The other party in the case was G. P. Findly, old boy of '20, first sergeant Co. B. Mayo craved his valises carried to his room. He spied Findly in a new uniform and one of the new peanut caps, one of the discerning marks of the recruits. Quite mandatorily Mayo called Findly into his rotound presence, and explained his baggage predicament. A small debate ensued, ending with Findly explaining that he had "been here long enough to be Mayo's father." Quite unconscious- ly Findly taught Mayo a new marching step backward—double time.

While playing golf the other day with Lt. Aylor, Lt. Hansen got into a hole. The dirt flew furiously for a few min- utes, and then Lt. Hansen was heard to say to Lt. Aylor, "Lend me your club, will you?"

Lt. Aylor: "What did you do—break yours ?"

Lt. Hansen : "Nope, it's red hot."

McDonald says football is wonderful for the complexion.

Schenk says Wheeling is his birth- place, but he has lived in S. M. A. most all of his life.

Sign in London, Ohio: "Drive slow and see our town. Drive fast and see our jail."—Boston Transcript.

Pay us a visit at our new home on

Main and New Streets

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The V. M. I. cadets brag about the battle of New Market, but that's a mere skirmish compared with the battle of Fairfax Hall, in which S. M. A. cadets were the principals—ask Tattersall.

S. M. A., Sept. IS, 1922.

Dear Ma: Well, I arrived at school here yester-

day morning and am well liked here I find. I really didn't expect to get much notice at first, but all the fellows who were here last year seem to like my company pretty well. Here is what has happened to me so far.

When I got off of the train yesterday a taxi driver offered to take me up to school. He said it was quite a climb if you walked and that I had best arrive fresh as I would have a busy day. After a few minutes' ride climbing up a rather curved street we arrived at the school.

On the way up the driver asked me if I was a new boy. I told him I was. Then he told me to take a good look at the street we were then going up. I asked him why he said this, and in reply he remarked that most of the new boys preferred to walk to town another way. That seemed strange to me, Ma. I will probably go down this way; you know I usually do different from the other fellows, anyway.

When we arrived I got out and the driver pointed out a man in a khaki uniform trying to light a cigar nearby. He said that this was the "Command- ant of Cadets," Col. T. G. Russell, and that I had better see him and arrange for my room.

I walked up to him and told him my name. He knew me at once, Ma, and shook hands with me and said that he knew that I would be right at home here at school. He said that it was his business to make the fellows feel at home, and that his entire time during the year was devoted along that line.

We walked up to his office together so that he could put my name down on his list to receive proper care and treat- ment. Also he would then give me a room and the key to it so I could go right in. He said that no room-mate had been assigned to me as yet, but I would probably have one before night. I know I shall like this man, Ma, he takes such an interest in me. We will probably become great friends!

I went to my room and almost as soon as I had arrived two boys came in. I was standing up when they came in, but one of them, after looking at me a moment told me to sit down. This seemed strange but, as I didn't want to hurt his feelings in what he evidently thought was a polite act, I sat down. One of them asked me my name. I

told him, but he said that he was going to call me "Rat." He explained that this was his way of speaking of new boys, and that it would be a great deal easier for him to remember than Am- brose. I didn't like it very much, but as I didn't like to make trouble I let him do it. I will tell him in a day or two not to do it any more.

The other asked me if I knew how to make my bed the way you have to do it here at school. I told him no, and so he told me to follow him to his room and he would show me how it was done. He led me to his bed and made it up for the day in a pile. It is a queer way and I think I shall tell Col. Russell that I don't have it done that way at home and would rather not do it here. Well, anyway, he had me do his bed a couple. of times so I could learn how. He then told me to come back every night and morning to keep in practice. I told him that I would practice on my own, but he said that I had better prac- tice where he could watch me. Don't you think that it was nice of him to take so much interest in me, mother? Oh ! yes, he told me to tell anyone else who asked that he was teaching me, and not go to their rooms to learn.

The other boy, who rooms with him, gave me the broom and then directed me how to sweep the room. Again I suggested that I had better learn in my own room, but he said no, that it would be all right to learn in his. Fur- ther, he told me to come every morning and practice and also to allow no one else to teach me. He said to tell any of the other boys that I was his "rat," and they would know that I was under his protection. Wasn't that nice of him to take such special interest in me, Ma? You know I have always thought that there was something about me that specially attracted others like that.

Then another reason that makes me think I am getting along so well with these old boys, that's what they call them, is that they told me to make friends with two or three more new boys. . Then tomorrow afternoon to bring them all around to their room and we would have a little get-acquaint- ed party. Now, Ma, I don't know much about it yet, but I don't imagine that many of the new boys become popular so quickly as to be invited to come to an old boy's party their second day at school. But then you know, Ma, I al- ways have been well liked.

Well, I will write again soon and tell you about the nice time I have at the party. Lots of love, from

Your son, AMBROSE.

Sign on Chicago Boulevard: "Autos will slow down to a walk."

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THE KABLEGRAM

Academic Awards (Continued from Page One)

cept that superimposed on it is a bronze disk. This bar is given to all cadets making an average of at least eighty per cent, in every subject for the pre- ceding quarter.

The "Award of the First Class" is again the same as the preceding awards except in place of the bronze disk there is one of the same size in silver. This award is only awarded to those cadets who have made at least ninety per cent, in every subject.

The last and best is the "Highest Award." There is only one bar of this class, and it is given quarterly to that cadet who makes the highest average in the corps for that period. It is the same as the others, but in place of either a silver or a bronze disk, has a gold disk superimposed upon it.

These bars remain the property of the school and must be turned in to the headmaster's office before each period of examinations. At the final examina- tions they are awarded on the basis of the cadet's average grade for the year in every subject, and the cadet is al- lowed to wear them home over the sum- mer vacation period.

Cotillion Club (Continued from Page One)

the dances right away. There is abso- lutely no extra charge or expense con- nected with it whatsoever, and it is the earnest desire of those in authority that every boy interested in dancing and dances, join. There must be system and there must be committees to help out in decorating, floor supervision, and several other items. Now, it is the aim of the Cotillion Club to systematize the dances in such a way that there are plenty of girls to go around, to see that the dancing on the floor is of the prop- er sort, to see that the gymnasium is properly decorated at the formals, and to furnish good music. One of the main faults of our dances heretofore has been the lack of girls, and this has made not a few of the dances dull and uninteresting. The Cotillion Club pub- lishes a list of girls eligible to attend our dances, and anyone escorting young ladies must notify the Social Committee. Anyone who is not acquainted with many young ladies in town and wishes to escort one to a dance is properly in- troduced. In this way the club fur- nishes plenty of young ladies for our formal and informal dances. An an- nouncement will be made as to when the club will organize and elect its of- ficers. New boys as well as the old are cordially invited to join and it is sin-

cerely hoped that a large and enthusi- astic membership will develop. The ca- det orchestra this year is very promis- ing, and it will furnish good music for all our informal dances. With the back- ing of the corps it is hoped to make the dances this year the best possible and the social life at S. M. A. some- thing to be proud of.

Day to Day on the Hill

By MAYER

Wednesday, September 13, 1922— Registration is opened in. the presi- dent's office, for the early birds. Two hundred and eighty cadets were regis- tered and given room assignments. Barracks open to patrons and cadets. Well pleased patrons and their more or less bewildered sons, still shining in their brand-new uniforms, are quite in vogue. Meals served in Mess Hall.

Thursday, September 14—First day of the term. Offices of the president are used in the continued registration. All new boys are outfitted, as yesterday, in fatigue uniforms. Dinner formation is "by companies," after dinner, semi- permanent organization of companies is effected. Major Patch meets all cadet officers and sergeants in the tactical of- fice before dinner for instruction. Short drill period on the athletic field in the early afternoon, consisting of the rudi- ments of the school of the soldier. Guard is detailed for the day and the day following. Football uniforms are issued in the gym after drill by Capt. Brigham and Lieut. Taylor, followed by a short practice on Kable Field. Re- treat formation on the upper asphalt at 6 :00 p. m. After supper a meeting of all recruits in the large study hall. Leave until 9 :50, followed by a Tattoo formation. Taps at 10:10. Total en- rollment for the two days was over 500.

Friday, September IS—Revielle at 7:30. Drill from 10:00 to 11:00. Cor- porals are appointed and platoons formed. Football practice at 4 :00 p. m., succeeding a two-hour drill on Kable Field, in which a few simple S. U. E.'s are taught. Swimming pool is opened, and is quite crowded. As many foot- ball candidates report, as did yesterday, and draw uniforms. Town leave is not granted. First call to quarters is an- other new call for the recruits to learn. Band candidates meet after supper in large study hall. Student dance or- chestra gets under way. Meeting of officers and old men at 7:30 in large study hall.

Saturday, September 16—Late reveille at 7:30 again. Drill from 10:00 to 11 :30. Outsides of barracks policed by companies after drill. Drill from 2 :00 to 3 :30 p. m. Football practice at

4 :00 p. m. Leave from 3 :30 until Re- treat. Canteen is opened. First infor- mal dance of the year in the gym. at 9:00 p. m. No leave is granted to those not attending.

Sunday, September 7—Late reveille, thanks to a sleepy corporal. Church squads are organized. Leave is granted until Retreat from after dinner.

Sunday, September 7—Church squads are organized, and are marched down to the respective churches for services. Leave is granted from after dinner un- til Retreat. Y. M. C. A. officers inter- view Capt. Thomas after supper, and after that, the subscription team canvas the barracks for membership. The ten- nis courts and pool are popular.

Monday, September 18—Regular early reveille at 6:40 for first time. After breakfast course cards are issued, and classes formed. Class periods are thirty minutes long, all six coming before din- ner. Football practice at 4:00. After drill library opens.

Col. T. G. collects registration cards at supper. Strict C. Q. after supper, and first sentinels of year are posted. Col. T. H. Russell meets all old men in the gym at 8:30.

Tuesday, September 19—Full school periods. Course cards are turned in. Squad drill in the afternoon. Regular C. Q.

Wednesday, September 20—Same as Tuesday, except that during drill period "A" and "B" companies are issued rifles, bayonets, and full field equip- ment, and also a lot of cosmoline.

Thursday, September 21—During drill period "A" and "B" receive instruction in the manual of arms, "C" and "M. G." companies are issued same equipment. Old boys miss Thursday afternoon town leave.

Friday, September 22—Both com- panies drill under arms. Our first reg- ular Friday night leave is very pleas- ant, as Stuart Hall has town privi- leges.

Saturday—Inspection under arms on the upper asphalt at 9 :4S. Leave until Retreat. C. Q. after supper.

Sunday, September 24—Church and Sunday school squads have services in town. Gray shirts worn. Leave is granted from dinner until Retreat. C. Q. after supper, no non-coms leave is granted, neither for the "corns."

Monday, September 25—Another school week begins. Manual of arms is given at drill. Usual track prac- tice for inter-company meet. Another night of study.

"Smoking is dangerous to the health." "Under certain conditions, yes." "When working in a powder factory

or wearing a celluloid collar."—Fremont Messenger.

Debating Prospects Loom

With five members of last year's de- bating team enrolled this year, Capt. Harriman, debating coach, is "confident that the squad will with practice de- velop into one of excellent ability, and will complete its season with our oppo- nents with an unbroken list of favorable decisions.

Coach Harriman has improved his plans for this year's team over last year's in several ways. The session of the team's activities will embrace a much longer period than last year. The first call for candidates will be in the near future as soon as school work is far enough along and its newness enough worn off to allow time to be devoted to the tearri's practice debates and preparation. Another angle, which has never been adopted here before, and has been proven to be the best method of organizing such a team, is that the members of the squad will com- pose a debating society with its elected officers. Only members of the society will compose the debating team. The session will continue through the win- ter months, the climax of which will be the team's entrance in the competitive debating tournaments for prep schools in the state, under the auspices of the University of Virginia.

An interesting schedule of debates with various prep and high schools in the East will be negotiated for by Capt. Harriman, thus making it an attraction from the standpoint of nice trips for the team as well as from the standpoint of learning the art.

Capt. Harriman invites all men who are seriously interested in debating, and who are willing to devote the neces- sary time to it, to come out when the announcement is given.

Social Season Opens

S. M. A.'s social season got under way last Saturday evening when an informal dance was given in the gymnasium. The dance was known as the usual "rat" dance, being given mainly to acquaint the new boys with each other, with the old boys, and with the girls who attend our dances. Many old boys revived ac- quaintances at this dance also, as all Staunton was out in force. Many of the young ladies who have been attending the dances for the past few seasons were present and also many new faces. By the large crowd and general enthusiasm shown by all, it would seem that this will be a banner social season for S. M. A. "Chaperones Row" included the familiar faces that are at all our dances, and that are always welcome.

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Y. M. C. A. Program (Continued from Page One)

(5) To have a Y. M. C. A. Banquet some time during the school year.

(6) To arrange with the city Y. M. C. A. to have our card honored and full privileges granted in the city building.

(7) To have voluntary Bible Classes meeting once a week, with good attend- ance.

(8) To have a series of Vocational Lectures and other addresses on import- ant subjects by capable men.

(9) To provide movies on the "Hill" in case of quarantine or other necessity without charge for admission, if pos- sible.

(10) To continue to furnish station- ery, magazines, and other reading mat- ter to cadets in the Infirmary, and im- prove this service as much as possible.

(11) To conduct a camp service tent during the Annual Encampment with such improvements over last yean as can be made.

(12) To contribute to state and na- tional Y. M. C. A. work.

(13) To conduct throughout the year a small game room at the Academy. This room to be supplied with small games, and magazines, etc., "and cadets

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are to be permitted to use it whenever other duties do not interfere.

(14) To arrange parties for visits to places of interest in and near Staunton on holidays.

The above program of Y. M. C. A. activities will depend upon the support the rest of the corps gives the Y. M. C. A. officers. If we get a good strong membership this can be carried out and other valuable features added. This will cost the Association ten or twelve hundred dollars, and unless the mem- bership is large the program cannot be made a success. Therefore we not only invite, but urge every cadet to become a member of the "Y" and pay the fee of four dollars or make a larger donation if you will do so.

Y. M. C. A. Handbook

For the fourth time in S. M. A.'s his- tory the Cadet "Y" has composed a small booklet. It is 4 inches by 2]/2, and entitled The Handbook of the Staunton Military Academy.

The Association has given to each cadet, old and new, one handbook, which we feel sure each cadet will keep and in the years to come, will enjoy re- reading and re-calling many familiar faces and scenes.

The handbook is bound in black leath- er with the school seal stamped on the cover in gold lettering. The edges are of gilt, the paper is of excellent quality, and the printing arrangement is without error.

The contents are divided into nine head topics. They are, in sequence: General Information, Academic, Mili- tary, Religious, Athletics, Social, Pub- lications, Music, Miscellaneous. Each is divided into sub-topics of a similar nature. There are yells and calls under the athletics, and also blank schedules for the various athletic teams, and memoranda pages. A roster of last year's corps is included. There are va- rious selected quotations from famous works.

The handbook is dedicated to Mr. and Mrs. George E. Scherer, who, in mem- ory of their son, Paul Scott Scherer, award a gold watch at commencement each year, appropriately engraved to the cadet receiving the highest percentage in the Study of Bible History.

S. M. A. greatly appreciates the "Y's" efforts to give such a useful booklet to add to our list of publications.

o

A Word from the Chaplain

I take this opportunity to say a word to you who may take the time to read this note about the value of the study of the BIBLE. Some time ago a vote

was taken in one of our large univer- sities for the most popular book. The BIBLE won by an overwhelming ma- jority. The BIBLE is and has been for many years the world's most popular book. If for no other reason that would be sufficient reason why every stu- dent should know what the book con- tains. But it has a value beyond that— the moral value. It has made its in- fluence felt wherever it has been car- ried. It is the secret force that has overthrown empires and built up re- publics. It has had the most wonderful history of all books. It stands alone. It has no equal, no rival. Therefore, no one can consider himself educated without a fair knowledge of the Book of Books.

New Members of the Faculty

This year six new members of the faculty have been added.

Thomas M. Mayfield, B. S., class of '22 of the Citadel, will teach mathe- matics.

George S. Blackburn, B. A., '22 of Furman College, will attempt to illum- ine our gray matter in the subjects of history and English.

Henry C. Switzer, B. S., of the class of '17 from the Citadel, will teach his- tory and junior department classes. Lt. Switzer served as a lieutenant in the A. E. F., and wears five major engage- ment bars on his uniform. He will also coach the junior department athletic teams.

Lloyd R. Manning, M. A., '18 of Notre Dame, will try to pound Latin into us.

Marcus S. Smith, B. A., '22, will be a master of English in our portals. He is from Colgate.

Robert D. Howerton, B. A., '22, of W. and L., is imparting his knowledge of history and physical geography to us. He also assists in physics.

Dancing Lessons to Begin Soon

The dancing class under Mrs. Logan is being formed and will soon begin its course of instruction. For many years this has been one of the bright lights of S. M. A. Not only do the cadets learn to dance, but many a "romance" has originated at dancing class. It is a very convenient way for any boy who wishes to learn to dance, to do so, and at the same time to become acquainted with the girls who attend our dances. The various steps are taught and the young ladies from town assist, making it possible for one to put into practice what he learns. The price is six dollars for a set of eight lessons, and many good acquaintances thrown in besides.

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MILITARY

STAUNTON MILITARY

ACADEMY

Staunton, Va.

September 14, 1922.

Special Order No. 1.

1. The following temporary appoint- ments are announced to take effect im- mediately.

2. No relative rank exists in various grades.

3. Acting Company Commanders will detail temporary Corporals for each squad.

4. No appointments for the band are included.

5. Permanent appointments will be announced when sufficient time has elapsed to judge the relative perform- ances.

6. Officers and non-commissioned officers included herein will report to the P. M. S. & T. at 12:30 p. m. Thurs- day, September 14, 1922.

To be Cadet Adjutants—Stewart, W. H.; Davis, W. J.

To be Cadet Lieut. Quartermaster— Schenk, Christian, Kohler.

To be Cadet Lieut. Ordnance—Wood- ruff.

To be Cadet Lieut. Medical Corps— Baars.

To be Cadet Lieuts: Company "A"—MacDonnell, LI. O.;

Tattersall; Sutherland, L.; Ward, R. A.; Gleaton.

Company "B"—Tripp; Spear; Turn- bull ; Clements; Brown, W. S.

Company "C"—Milbank; Clarity; Turtletaub; Alison ; McArthur.

M. G. Company—Green, R.; Johnson, C. L.; Hathaway.

Junior Company—Snyder; Brown, K. To be Cadet Master Sergeant (Sgt.

Maj.)—Carman. To be Cadet Technical Sgt.—Case,

Ordnance Department; Chunn, Supply Department; Ross, R. P., Medical Corps.

To be Cadet Staff Sgts. (Color Sgts.) —Grandy, Plyler.

To be Cadet Staff Sgts. (Bugler) — Miner.

To be Cadet Sergeants—Eckhardt, Supply Department.

To be Cadet Corporals—Naylor, Smith, K. R., Supply Department.

To be Cadet Corporal—Bertrand, Ordnance Department.

To be Cadet Corporal—Gillingham (Bugler).

To be Cadet Sergeant—Duly, Ord- nance Department.

To be Cadet First Sergeants—Hop- son, Company "A"; Findly, Company

"B"; Hartinger, Company "C"; Frasier, M. G. Company; Yates, Junior Com- pany.

To be Supply Sergeants—Pryor, Company "A"; Laurain, Company "B"; Austrian, Company "C"; Munoz, Ma- chine Gun Company.

To be Cadet Sergeants: Company "A"—Wight; Combes; Nes-

bitt; Hamilton, J.; McDonald, V. O.; Newton ; Riggs; DeBord; Leaver; Car- roll.

Company "B"—Dorsey; Gormsen ; Taylor, D. F.; Asher; Hunt; Sponsel- ler; Trayner; Collier; Wilson, H. S.; Barnes, A. S.

Company "C"—McCaley ; Holcomb ; Lott; Foy, Davis, J.; Felber; Ulmer; McCord; Burgess; Casariego.

M. G. Co.—Rose, H. J.; Wheeler; Lochrie; Kearns.

Junior Co.—Johnson, J. E. 7. The following Cadet Officers are

appointed acting Company Commander and Second in Command for the week ending September 23, 1922:

Company "A"—McDonnell, H. O., Commander; Tattersal, H., Second in Command.

Company "B"—Tripp, Commander ; Spear, Second in Command.

Company "C"—Milbank, Commander ; Clarity, Second in Command.

M. G. Company—Green, R., Com- mander.

Junior Company—Snyder, Command- er.

A. M. PATCH, JR.,

Major D. O. L. P. M. S. & T.

September 21, 1922. General Order No. 3.

Effective this date, the following ser- vice calls are announced:

Retreat—First Call, 6 :0S p. m.; As- sembly, 6:10.

By order of COL. T. G. RUSSELL.

W. H. STEWART,

Cadet Lt. and Adj.

Capt. Manning Hurt

Capt. Manning, our athletic coach, has not been with the school so far this year. At the opening of school word was received in the Head Master's office that Capt. Manning had fallen and had seriously injured his leg.

However, he is expected to be seen on the hill as soon as the necessary time has passed to insure a firm leg.

At present the coaching of the squad has been taken over by Capt. Bringham, and with the assistance of Lts. Taylor, Benson, Aylor, and other faculty, is fast rounding out a good team.

Buy a HART, SCHAFFNER & MARX Suit before

going home for the Summer.

As a special enducement to the S. M. A. Cadets

we will allow you a 10 per. cent discount.

Barth-Weinberg & Co. The home of Hart, Schaffner & Marx Clothes

S. M. A. HEADQUARTERS At Staunton's REAL Cut Rate Drug Store

The Original One

CO-OPERATIVE DRUG CO., Inc. 17 E. Main St. Phone 702

We Deliver Free, Freely

a To the S. M. A. Cadets" To satisfy our trade and hold it, is the first

principle of our business We Solicit Your Patronage

GRIFFITH AND BROOKS, Merchant Tailors

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The McClure Co., Printers of

| College Publications \ o STAUNTON, VIRGINIA %t o oacwosososososoifiososoKososososoifiosoaosoaioaososiosfiosoifioa

For good things to eat go to

Anderson's Bakery AGENCY FOR

WHITMAN'S CHOCOLATES