staunton military academy, staunton, va„...

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Vol. 3 STAUNTON MILITARY ACADEMY, STAUNTON, VA„ SATURDAY, MARCH 13, 1920 No. 9 iastl P 3 ty M. A. CLOSES BASKET-BALL SEASON LETTERS AWARDED Stroud Elected Next Year's Captain 10 The basketball season was brought to a close the night of February 21st, when S. M. A. anded the University of Vir- nia Freshmen a defeat of 23 to in the new gymnasium. Although the season wasn't as bright as could be expected, yet very game was interesting and ,rd fought. The influenza epi- mic prevented our playing the 11 schedule with Fishburne and . M. A. twice, and Bridgewater ollege again, the completion of which would have brought the schedule to a close March 2nd. These games will not be played this year. The season started off with very bright prospects for the team, S. : M. A. taking three games in one eek. But on January 29th, the am left for a trip up in Mary- nd, where they played three •games, being defeated in all three. Then on February 10th the hottest game of the season was played in the gym with Massanutten Aca- vdemy, the Woodstock boys walk- ing off with the game, 32 to 31. The following week we broke even with the Virginia Fresh, the Col- lege boys defeating us 29 to 16 February 18th, but taking a 23 to 10 defeat from us three days later Kh our floor. KBrophy and "Bung" Young, who Payed A-l basketball last year and the year before, were unable to re- Krn after Christmas, but their places were filled by Jenkins, Wass- man, Notman, and Stroud. Jen- Hps, who played brilliantly last Bar, performed even better dur- Bg the past season. Dillon, J., the TRACK Track practice is being held in the gymnasium every day. A large squad is out, and many promising athletes are being brought to light. Track is the one sport in which individual merit counts—a candi- date makes the team if he wins over his competitors. This feature should appeal to the members of the corps. Any normal young man can, by hard work, make himself a good track athlete in some one event. S. M. A. wants to have a track team worthy of the tradition es- tablished in the other major sports. Come out and make this possible! The letter men from last year are Bentz (captain), Notman, Dil- lon, and Jenkins. New men who are doing splendid work in practice are Stock, Graham, McQueen, Bangham, Fell, Belber, Higgins, Pierce, Cobb, Sheltan, Esquival, Maddox, Stewart, Harris, Con- nelly, and Woodruff. Coach Tarr has arranged a splendid schedule for this spring. The season opens on March 13th, with the indoor games at Catholic University. In April and May, the team meets A. M. A. and the U. of Va. Freshmen, and enters several of the important interscholastic championship contents. (Continued on sixth page) QUARANTINE LIFTED By order of Col. Phelps, the corps was put under quarantine February 4th, owing to the increase of the influenza epidemic in the city. During that time no cadet was allowed to leave the hill but, with the exception of a few days, school activities were carried on as usual. Thursday, March 4th, the ban was lifted, completing one month, to the day, the time we were restricted to the hill. The epidemic having cleared up, and with the approach of pleasant weather, the Colonel decided to let us go free again. SHANFELTER OPERATED ON Wednesday night, March '3rd, Cadet Shanfelter was stricken with acute appendicitis. He was rushed to the hospital, where he was operated on at one o'clock Thurs- day morning, and is now getting along nicely. He expects to be up in a couple of weeks. INFORMAL DANCE The first social activity under- taken at school since the first part of February was held last Satur- day night in the form of a dance in the new gym. Walen's Dance Or- chestra, from Washington, fur- nished a splendid programme. Everyone was full of pep, as this was the first lively attraction that has reached the school for many weeks. THE NEW LIBRARY Major Wonson, Lieut.Hansen, and Miss Hammond have been working very hard during the last two weeks in order to get the books in the library properly clas- sified so as to put them at the dis- posal of the cadets. The system used in cataloging the hooks is known as the Dewey Decimal sys- tem, which is used in all of the standard libraries of the country. In this system, the card cataloging is divided into two parts. In the first part, the cards are filled out according to the title of the book, and in the second, according to the name of the author. A large table, near the window and close to the stacks, is reserved for those desiring to do work in the library. As was the case in the Post Adjutant's Office, there are some books that may be taken out for the usual period, one- week; while there are others which can- not remain out over twenty-four hours; and several reference books which must stay in the library at all times. It is the trial plan of Major Wonson to have the library open from four to six each school day, and on Monday from after supper until Call to Quarters. MEMORIAL TO DEAD S. M. A. MEN A beautiful bronze tablet, erected by subscriptions from the Alumni in memory of those S. M-. A. men who gave their lives in the world war, will be dedicated at the com- mencement exercises in June. The memorial will contain about twen- ty-eight names. The tablet was designed by the famous sculptor Zolnay, of Washington, D. C. THE FIRE DEPARTMENT BAND Besides being able to play now and then, the Band demonstrated to the corps that they are a little bit of value to the school, for, Fri- day, February 27th, as they were standing in their place in line at drill, they saw flames burst from the roof of the Y. M. C. A. build- ing, now known as the Convalesc- ing Barracks, and immediately rushed to the scene. In little or no time they had pulled the shin- gles off the roof and put out the last blaze. The origin of the fire and the hero of the band are both unknown. THE FEED The George Washington ban- quet, which was to be held Mon- day night, the 23rd, was postponed until Wednesday night, February 25th. The usual demonstrations and yells which are common at the "big feeds" were present. Ford's Jazz Orchestra furnished the music during the half-hour. A new fea- ture in the orchestra was intro- duced by Ford in the form of a Xylophone, which he played to perfection. Lockwood with his banjo, has become a part of the orchestra now. BUSHMAN, EX-'19, GOES INTO THE MOVIES The following was taken from the Los Angeles Examiner: "Ralph Bushman, eldest son of Francis X. Bushman, is to become a screen player, making his debut under the tutelage of Al Christie. "Young Bushman arrived in

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Vol. 3 STAUNTON MILITARY ACADEMY, STAUNTON, VA„ SATURDAY, MARCH 13, 1920 No. 9

iastl

P

3 ty

M. A. CLOSES BASKET-BALL SEASON

LETTERS AWARDED

Stroud Elected Next Year's Captain

10

The basketball season was brought to a close the night of February 21st, when S. M. A.

anded the University of Vir- nia Freshmen a defeat of 23 to

in the new gymnasium. Although the season wasn't as

bright as could be expected, yet very game was interesting and

,rd fought. The influenza epi- mic prevented our playing the 11 schedule with Fishburne and

. M. A. twice, and Bridgewater ollege again, the completion of

which would have brought the schedule to a close March 2nd. These games will not be played this year.

The season started off with very bright prospects for the team, S. :M. A. taking three games in one

eek. But on January 29th, the am left for a trip up in Mary- nd, where they played three

•games, being defeated in all three. Then on February 10th the hottest game of the season was played in the gym with Massanutten Aca- vdemy, the Woodstock boys walk- ing off with the game, 32 to 31. The following week we broke even with the Virginia Fresh, the Col- lege boys defeating us 29 to 16 February 18th, but taking a 23 to 10 defeat from us three days later Kh our floor. KBrophy and "Bung" Young, who Payed A-l basketball last year and the year before, were unable to re- Krn after Christmas, but their places were filled by Jenkins, Wass- man, Notman, and Stroud. Jen- Hps, who played brilliantly last Bar, performed even better dur- Bg the past season. Dillon, J., the

TRACK Track practice is being held in

the gymnasium every day. A large squad is out, and many promising athletes are being brought to light. Track is the one sport in which individual merit counts—a candi- date makes the team if he wins over his competitors. This feature should appeal to the members of the corps. Any normal young man can, by hard work, make himself a good track athlete in some one event.

S. M. A. wants to have a track team worthy of the tradition es- tablished in the other major sports. Come out and make this possible!

The letter men from last year are Bentz (captain), Notman, Dil- lon, and Jenkins. New men who are doing splendid work in practice are Stock, Graham, McQueen, Bangham, Fell, Belber, Higgins, Pierce, Cobb, Sheltan, Esquival, Maddox, Stewart, Harris, Con- nelly, and Woodruff.

Coach Tarr has arranged a splendid schedule for this spring. The season opens on March 13th, with the indoor games at Catholic University. In April and May, the team meets A. M. A. and the U. of Va. Freshmen, and enters several of the important interscholastic championship contents.

(Continued on sixth page)

QUARANTINE LIFTED By order of Col. Phelps, the

corps was put under quarantine February 4th, owing to the increase of the influenza epidemic in the city. During that time no cadet was allowed to leave the hill but, with the exception of a few days, school activities were carried on as usual. Thursday, March 4th, the ban was lifted, completing one month, to the day, the time we were restricted to the hill. The epidemic having cleared up, and with the approach of pleasant weather, the Colonel decided to let us go free again.

SHANFELTER OPERATED ON

Wednesday night, March '3rd, Cadet Shanfelter was stricken with acute appendicitis. He was rushed to the hospital, where he was operated on at one o'clock Thurs- day morning, and is now getting along nicely. He expects to be up in a couple of weeks.

INFORMAL DANCE The first social activity under-

taken at school since the first part of February was held last Satur- day night in the form of a dance in the new gym. Walen's Dance Or- chestra, from Washington, fur- nished a splendid programme. Everyone was full of pep, as this was the first lively attraction that has reached the school for many weeks.

THE NEW LIBRARY Major Wonson, Lieut.Hansen,

and Miss Hammond have been working very hard during the last two weeks in order to get the books in the library properly clas- sified so as to put them at the dis- posal of the cadets. The system used in cataloging the hooks is known as the Dewey Decimal sys- tem, which is used in all of the standard libraries of the country. In this system, the card cataloging is divided into two parts. In the first part, the cards are filled out according to the title of the book, and in the second, according to the name of the author.

A large table, near the window and close to the stacks, is reserved for those desiring to do work in the library. As was the case in the Post Adjutant's Office, there are some books that may be taken out for the usual period, one- week; while there are others which can- not remain out over twenty-four hours; and several reference books which must stay in the library at all times.

It is the trial plan of Major Wonson to have the library open from four to six each school day, and on Monday from after supper until Call to Quarters.

MEMORIAL TO DEAD S. M. A. MEN

A beautiful bronze tablet, erected by subscriptions from the Alumni in memory of those S. M-. A. men who gave their lives in the world war, will be dedicated at the com- mencement exercises in June. The memorial will contain about twen- ty-eight names. The tablet was designed by the famous sculptor Zolnay, of Washington, D. C.

THE FIRE DEPARTMENT BAND

Besides being able to play now and then, the Band demonstrated to the corps that they are a little bit of value to the school, for, Fri- day, February 27th, as they were standing in their place in line at drill, they saw flames burst from the roof of the Y. M. C. A. build- ing, now known as the Convalesc- ing Barracks, and immediately rushed to the scene. In little or no time they had pulled the shin- gles off the roof and put out the last blaze. The origin of the fire and the hero of the band are both unknown.

THE FEED The George Washington ban-

quet, which was to be held Mon- day night, the 23rd, was postponed until Wednesday night, February 25th. The usual demonstrations and yells which are common at the "big feeds" were present. Ford's Jazz Orchestra furnished the music during the half-hour. A new fea- ture in the orchestra was intro- duced by Ford in the form of a Xylophone, which he played to perfection. Lockwood with his banjo, has become a part of the orchestra now.

BUSHMAN, EX-'19, GOES INTO THE MOVIES

The following was taken from the Los Angeles Examiner:

"Ralph Bushman, eldest son of Francis X. Bushman, is to become a screen player, making his debut under the tutelage of Al Christie.

"Young Bushman arrived in

THE KABLEGRAM

Los Angeles a few days ago with the determination to enter pictures.

"The Christie studio was the first one visited by young Bushman. Five years ago it was occupied by the elder Bushman's Company, when he spent some time in Cali- fornia, but it is a much bigger place now. Al Christie has stated that Ralph would be given an im- portant part in one of the new special productions.

"Young Bushman is just out of school, having spent three years at the Staunton Military Academy, at Staunton, Va. He is no stranger before the camera, as he played numerous 'kid' roles during the old Essanay days when his father was the adored of the feminine film fans. Mr. Christie believes that he has a find in the young aspirant to screen honors. Young Bushman will probably sign a con- tract with Christie today."

Bushman left S. M. A. at the close of school last year. He was quartermaster sergeant in Com- pany "C."

THE DIFFERENCE What is the difference between

a hungry man and a glutton? One longs to eat, and the other

eats too long.—The Sentinel, O. M. I.

WIRELESS TO BE IN- STALLED

A wireless apparatus, having

the power of one kilowatt and ca-

pable of sending approximately

three hundred miles, has been pur-

chased with a sum of money appro-

priated by Col. Kable for this pur-

pose, and is being installed in Col.

Conklin's office by Cadet Lt. Mc-

Graw, where it will be operated

and controlled by the Signal Corps.

The sending apparatus is of the

finest make, and is now being built

by the Thorderson Transformer

Company, of Chicago, while the

receiving set is a combination of

De Forest and Marconi.

The Signal Corps has several

members who are familiar with

wireless, McGraw having had pre-

vious experience with the work-

ings of this science, and Moore, J. D., having been a wireless operator before coming to S. M. A. •

It is expected by Lt. McGraw that the set will be in working order in about three weeks, and that he will be able to establish connections with the many wireless sets owned by the different schools and colleges in Virginia.

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A TALE

M. P.: "Say, there, soldier, what's your name?"

Soldier: "My name's Jones, what do you think about that?"

M. P.: "I think you are 'lit,' and I'm going to put you in the

'jug-'"

Soldier: "How'zat?"

M. P.: "You heard me!"

Soldier: "Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I'm waiting for Miss Sally Tompkins—you know Miss Sally—she runs the canteen, and she says to me yesterday: 'Come around and see me tomorrow and show me where John Paul Jones' body was found, and tell me all about the time when you were one of his Paul-bearers.' You see, Mr. M. P., I served a couple of 'hitches' in the navy about fifteen years ago, and when Uncle Sam sent us over here to get him and take him back to the U. S. where he belonged, he picked out twelve of the hand- somest garbs in the navy to lift the gentleman aboard ship. I ain't as good looking as I was then, but be- lieve me, Mr. M. P., I was the handsome guy in those days. Well, we got him aboard ship and started for the States, and about three days and the old ocean got rusty and I thought my ancestor was going to slide overboard. Some of the girls thought he was a hoodoo and want- ed to throw him overboard, but me and the skipper persuaded them to leave him alone."

M. P.: "What are you trying to hand me?"

Soldier: "Why, howdy do, Miss Nancy; I was just telling this M. P. the story I was going to tell you, but it gave me good practice, and I can tell it to you better. Au re- voir, Mr. M. P., I'll see you again in my next leave."

—A. B. C.

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THE KABLEGRAM

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RELATIONS WITH THE FRENCH

(By an S. M. A. Veteran)

It has been said that the soldier who saw active service in France won't speak of his exploits; but the one who saw nothing of the front is quite garrulous. The lat- ter rule still holds. I have allowed myself to be persuaded to write the following sketch, even with the :hance of repeating much of what

has long been worn threadbare by writers of the war.

On May 6th, the first streak of dawn found my company, under the command of a lieutenant who went by the contemptuous epithet of "Little Henry," well on its way

;over the Long Island Railroad from Hempstead to a New York station to take the ferry to the Hoboken pier.

Arriving at the pier an hour later, we were formed in single file to march across the gangplank' of a French liner, down three flights

of steps into her very bowels, where we were to act as ballast on the homeward trip across the At- lantic.

Before going on board, we passed by the ticket window, be- hind which posed a weasel-eyed Frenchman, an officer of the ship, who gave each man a searching glance as he shoved him a blue card which indicated his status as a third class passenger. This card indicated whether he was to be one of the occupants of hole number one until the ship rats saw fit to take him off; hole number two, whose torrid heat was kept con- stant by the three boilers just be- low it, or of hole number three, a box-like compartment located aft, into whose dimensions the nau- seating stench from the ship's wash rooms floated. These cards also indicated whether the bearer was to sleep on the first or second shelf of the hay rack bunk, infor- mation which every sea sick soul appreciates after he has once tried

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to sleep, with a very bilious and careless comrade overhead.

After spending twelve long hours sardined in our sub-deck quarters, we finally felt the ship quiver as her screws churned the water in backing away from the pier. In twenty minutes she was steaming down the harbor on her way to the open sea. For twenty minutes, ten bare heads could be seen protrud- ing from as many portholes a few feet above the water, gazing their farewell toward Earth, which was fast passing from view.

The following ten days at sea were alike in that each consisted in three visits to mess, followed each time by a visit to the ship's rail for those who had the courage to eat French fare such as we were served. At the very first call for mess, we Americans, who had been accustomed to hot biscuits and ap- ple pie, found ourselves confronted by rabbit stew, the inmate of which still wore his fur—to make it stick, I suppose. After the first mess, "seconds" went begging. One look at. the small blackboard on which the steward chalked the day's menu was always sufficient to down the hunger of the majority. The menu was never changed during the en- tire voyage, so far as stew was concerned.

During some of the trip, a few of us managed to bribe the China- man who waited on the first class mess into stealing food for us, which we would get each night by a visit to his compartment; but the grand rascal soon found himself the master of a thriving trade, and became so extortionate in his prices that we ran out of funds long before we reached land.

On May 17th we disembarked at Bordeaux, and, after running the red-taped gauntlet of the va- rious camps, we finally reached Paris at midnight on May 30th just in time to detrain and run for the cellar beneath the station. "The Huns were over." H had broken loose. (So Our Lieut, thought). We bivouacked here for the night with many other refugees (they, however, were from the French and Belgian fronts^, and on the following morning moved to our permanent location, where the closing incident of this sketch occurred.

it so happened that each night on which the Boche planes had paid the Parisians a visit, and at

the same hour, an automobile had been observed speeding on the Italian Highway in the direction of Paris, flashing its lights at inter- vals, as if signaling some one.

As the Americans had more than one thousand planes ready for the front stored in the hangars on the flying field beside the highway, and they were convinced that someone was taking advantage of the pass- ing vehicles to spot for the Boche planes, the commander of the field put a double guard along the roadside, in addition to the interior guard, in an effort to stop the spot- ter.

Two nights later eight of us had just relieved the second relief when we heard the sirens shriek the alarm of the approaching raid. Al- most simultaneously, up the high- way in the distance, the bright lights of a rapidly approaching car could be seen. To us it seemed to be coming with hurricane speed, wjtile the playing shadows of the lights made them appear as if they were being flashed. One minute later the car was abreast of the first sentry.

"Stop!" he yelled, forgetting military terms in his excitement.

No answer came to his repeated command, and the car passed on.

A staccato of shots rang out, followed by the rattle of falling glass, as the second sentry emptied his automatic.

With grinding brakes the limou- sine skidded into the ditch and stood still, while from its interior came shrieks mingled with unin- telligible jabbering.

The sentry flashed his light through the shattered wondow. He had to hold his sides to keep from laughing at what he saw. On his knees, in one corner of the car, was a well-dressed Frenchman, too badly frightened to even utter more sounds, while his "frog" chauffeur was still under his steer- ing wheel, where he had tried to conceal himself after slamming on the brakes. Neither was injured, except for a few cuts from flying glass.

The next day the commander of the flying field received a long com- plaint relative to firing on the French Minister, who was return- ing from a province, and was try- ing to get to Paris before the raid started.

(Signed) Ex-U. S. A. No. 1,072,829.

THE KABLEGRAM

THE KABLEGRAM Published bi-weekly by the Corps of Cadets of Staunton Military Academy.

THE KABLEGRAM STAFF

F. R. NEEI.Y Editor-in-Chief G. A. GRANGER Athletic Editor JOSEPH ROSENBERG Military Editor G. T. PARRY Social Editor E. A. BISHOP Alumni Editor D. A. MEGGS Exchange Editor G. B. LOCKWOOD. .Miscellaneous Editor C. M. HERRING „ . ,, „ „ _ I ...Business Managers T. C. SHORE • ( LT. R. E. MOODY Faculty Adviser

Subscription price, $1.50 a year, in advance.

Advertising rates will be furnished upon application.

SATURDAY, MARCH 18, 1920

A SUGGESTION At the beginning of the school

year, Capt. Chandler, then Y. M.

C. A. secretary, inaugurated a new

system of distributing the mail, in

the hope that it would do away

with the old plan of last year. His

plan gave the cadets opportunity to get their mail at the first chance tiny had, in that he was always on the job to hand it out. Then a few knockers became tired of standing in line for a moment or two, and thai system was discarded. The old plan of allowing the faculty to distribute the mail to the cadets after dinner at certain designated points was re-adopted, and all went well for a few weeks.

The present situation is this: the distribution of the mail seems to be in the hands of certain high ranking cadets, who pass letters ami papers out as if they were throwing away free tickets to a show. One example is given, when the distributer threw a let- ter to a cadet. The wind got con- trol of it, and the cadet had to chase it around the upper asphalt before he could recover it.

Why hope to receive letters when they are gotten under such difficulties? The handling of mail is a delicate matter, but the way it is passed out here does not con- form with the rules of the Post- office Department. How long is this going to last?

Under such conditions, we can- not but meekly suggest that either the faculty take personal charge of

the mail again, or a group of lock-

boxes be installed in the school,

one for each cadet. This would in-

sure him absolute certainty of get- ting his OWN mail. We have not the slightest doubt but what ninety-nine per cent, of the corps would be willing to set aside a few dollars a year for the use of lock boxes, if they could be installed.

"I DON'T GIVE A " At S. M. A. there are a few-

cadets who have absolutely no pur- pose in life. They don't care what happens, and don't worry about what might happen when they do certain things. They have no in- terest in ANYTHING around the school, and can't be taught to take interest. They subject themselves to continued reports for neglect of some kind, and when given a fair warning and some decent advice, their only reply is, "I don't give etc." They, sorry to say, even haven't enough brains to realize that they are a detriment to the hard workers around them.

In company, for instance, they know that while one is at attention, he is not supposed to be talking. They also know that when they are at drill, they are not supposed to be playing. Furthermore, they know that the bugle is blown for some purpose, and that each cadet is expected to answer and comply with that request.

It certainly would be interesting to follow this little group through life. Just merely a repetition of the little grasshopper and the ant at the close of summer.

A PRAYER Teach me that sixty minutes

make an hour, sixteen ounces one pound, and 100 cents one dollar. Help me so to live that I can lie down at night with a clear con- science without a gun under my pillow and unhaunted by the faces of those to whom I have brought pain. Grant that I may earn my meal ticket on the square, and that in earning it I may do unto others as I would have them do unto me. Deafen me to the jangle of tainted money and to the rustle of unholy skirts. Blind me to the faults of the other fellow, but reveal to me my own. Guide me so that when- ever I look into the faces of my friends I will have nothing to con- ceal. Keep me young enough to

laugh with little children and sym- pathetic enough to be considerate of old age. And when the day comes of darkened shades and the smell of flowers, the tread of soft footsteps and the crunching of wheels in the yard, make the cere- mony short and the epitaph simple —"Here Lies a Man."—Arizona Gazette.

Rensselaer Established 1824

Troy.N.Y.

Polytechnic Engineering and Science Institute

HOME GROWN PHIL- ■ OSOPHY

The parson's text last Sunday was, "What fools these women are; they paint their faces every day with rouge, lipsticks, and tar. Where is the girl of yesterday, who dared take the air without a land- scape on her mug, nor artificial hair ? These skirts will surely ruin us; turn back a dozen years, when vanity was. scowled upon, and wo- men all wore ears."

But this sky-pilot surely never gazed on S. M. A. ;■ worse sights than those he harped upon can run loose here all day. If one of our he-beauties found his hair had lost its part he'd make warm tracks to his boudoir and die of broken heart. His face is smeared with powder at mess, retreat, and dance; you never yet have seen him with- out creases in his pants. He'll toss his father's sheckels to some tailor with a bang if he thinks the squabs won't like the way his brand new breeches hang. His dresser's over- burdened with massage cream and perfume; it smells more like a brewery than a humble barracks room. His sox are all of violent shade; pajamas pink and blue; he would not stoop to wear a shirt of any Christian hue.

So why throw cans and mud upon the Jane who dopes her map; she gets away with this much bet- ter than the vampire chap. I think that we'd much rather see abbre- viated skirts than spats, and coats that fit like corsets on some school- boy squirts. You know, I venture, birds who spend two hours making up, and use nine quarts of powder ere they think they're fit to sup. The dough they spend each week upon the different dopes they use, would educate an ape or two, save our starving Jews. But anyhow, there's reasons why I blow my joy- ful horn, the school's decreed that ear-rings and mustaches can't be worn.

—G. B. L.

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PFIFFERLING'S

The Official S. M. A.

Barber Shop

5 Barbers 5

14 South New Street

Beverly Book Store! INCORPORATED

MASONIC TEMPLE

Staunton, Virginia

S. M. A. Pennants, Memory Books, |

Stationery

At Your Service

The New Staunton Restaurant I 9 South Augusta St.

Open Day and Night

Serve Short Orders at all Hours

Cakes—Pies—All Kinds Fruits

S. M. A. Cadets Welcome

THE KABLEGRA M

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§ S. M. A. HASH O A Little Bit of Everything m

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THE KABLEGRAM has arranged with Col. Kable to permit Cadets Armstrong, C. H., Query, and Mc- Queen, to have any day off they want from now until June, pro- vided they go out among our neighborly little hills and walk up and down counting, "One, Two, Three, Four." (Maybe they'll get enough then).

Hereafter, anyone that calls Sherrell, "Farmer" will be dis- missed from the Academy for tell- ing lies. The real farmer has just been discovered. He is a young chap, having the look and smell of the soil, and hails from Ioawy. He was here last year, but because of his long association with pigs, corn, horses, etc., couldn't get on to the ways of these big city boys down here. However, time will tell, and it has now developed in ex-Cor- poral McNeil, that he is fast be- coming used to staying up until ten o'clock and getting up at seven in- stead of three, as heretofore.

We fear that Lunn will be a financial wreck when he pays for the twenty-three pictures he has promised, back in dear old Schnec- tady to Mable, Mary, Lucy, Isabel, Irene, Katrinka, and all of the nu- merous others that he didn't men-

tion before time of going to press.

Kerwick seems somewhat upset because the phonograph dealers of Norfolk cannot get in a new sup- ply of records. He got a daily waste the other day that had "Bub-

bles" and "What a Pal Was Mary," "Alcoholic Blues" and so forth, listed as all of the latest records for sale.

Kid Marino, the Bowery Des- perado : "What is the best way to make a coat last?"

Hamilton, D. E.: "Make the trousers and vest first."

O. D.: "Why aren't you running across that quadrangle?"

Cadet Greenboig: "I'm afraid of falling, sir."

O. D.: "Don't be afraid—your nose will stop you."

Lieut. Lee (in English): "Now, we come to words that stand for nouns. What are they, Klein?"

Lieut. Klein, H. (in that mat- ter-of-fact, undisputable voice) : "Verbs!"

We have a gang of fairies over in the North Barracks now. King, T., Kagey, Rosenberg, Tyler, and Wing get up every morning at 5 :30 and go dancing on the green. With their garments of cheese- cloth and their silk ribbons tied around their heads, they present a spectacle indescribable.

If- Notman, Ponce, H., and Mackey don't quit wearing a dirty lip around school, they might be suspected of being Black Hands.

"I wonder if everyone at the Citadel calls the rifles 'GUNS.'"

—A CADET.

talion the other night: "The COM- MISSARY Department wishes me to announce that if the weather permits, there will be a full dress parade Monday."

dresses all my life, and I am not going to wear them any longer.-— The Listening Post, Kentucky M. I.

Sykes: "Waiter, please take this WANTED—Some second hand egg away." dresses for Cadet Hanson, sizes Waiter: "What shall I do with two to four years preferred. it?"

Sykes: "Wring its neck."

LOST—Two reputations as good law-abiding cadets. If found, please return to Spring and Lee in Room 101 Main Barracks.

"Don't make me mad, or I'll hurt you."—Copyright, 1920, by W. G. Kerwick.

LEFT BY THE CARPENTER

Job-seeker (entering office un- announced) : "Is there an opening here for me?"

Chief Clerk: "Yes, sir, right be- hind you."—The Sentinel, Ohio Military Institute..

Absent-minded Hunter: "Dear, I have just shot a seven foot alli- gator, and when I shoot another I'll have a pair of slippers made for you."—The Sentinel, Ohio Military Institute.

BE A BOOSTER Be a Booster, not a Knocker,

You can make your life sublime, Things are just what you will have

them; Success or failure, every time.

If luck is hard, and you're un- happy

Boost your luck by being strong, Smile and take life as it comes,

Remember, things aren't always wrong.

Cheer up those whose life has darkened,

Make their lives both clear and bright, Be a Booster, not a Knocker,

See your task in a better light. —IMA NUTT.

KNEW THE MULE

Kind Old Lady: "Why, you brute! Don't you know better than to abuse a mule with sore feet?"

Colored Driver: "He's a awmy mule, ma'am, and he ain't lame. He's standin' at Parade Rest."— The Sentinel, O. M. I.

Lt. Jones announcing to bat- Sweet Sixteen: "I've worn short

MINSTREL SHOW Progress on the proposed min-

strel show to be given by the corps under the direction of Majors Wonson and Sutherland and Cap- tain Beardsworth in the near fu- ture, is satisfactorily under way. A number of cadets have signed up to help put the play across, but a great many more are needed. Those of you who have not given the coming entertainment a thought, get busy and turn your name in to any of the directors or to Granger.

S. M. A. Headquarters for Pretty Girls FANCY DRINKS AND SUNDAES

Try S. M. A. PEP SWIMLEY & FRETWELL

DRUGGISTS

THE KABLEGRAM

S. M. A. CLOSES

(Continued from page one)

captain, and Hazelip, played as good a game at guard as one would want, and Flannigan did by no means fail on his job at center. Wassman, Notman, and Stroud played forward with Jenkins, and their work is commendable from all viewpoints.

Letters and sweaters will be awarded to the following: Jenkins, Dillon, Wassman, Flannigan, Haze- lip, Stroud, and Notman.

At a meeting of the team a short time ago, Stroud was selected to captain next year's quintet.

The team's played schedule is as follows:

January 16—Staunton Y. M. C. A., 21; S. M. A., 41.

January 20—Bridgewater Col- lege, 9; S.M. A., 31.

January 22—Richmond College, 22; S. M. A., 32.

January 29—Mt. Joseph College, 22; S. M. A., 15.

January 30—Blue Ridge College, 30 to 16.

January 31—Baltimore Y. M. C. A., 26; S. M. A., 23.

February 10—Massanutten Aca- demy, 32; S. M. A., 31.

February 18—U. of Va. Fresh., 29; S. M. A., 16.

February 21—U. of Va. Fresh., 10; S. M, A., 23.

MEDICAL COLLEGE OF VIRGINIA £J (State Institution)

MEDICINE, DENTISTRY, PHARMACY K O New Buildings, Well Equipped Laboratories Under the O § Direction of Full-Time Competent Teachers. §

The Memorial Hospital, Dooley Hospital, Colored Hospital O §are owned and controlled by the Medical College of Virginia, O and offer every facility for thorough Clinical Teaching. Staff's composed of the Faculty of the' College. Additional Clinical Facilities are offered through the Virginia Hospital, City Home, City Jail, etc. For full information and catalogue, address

J. R. McCAULEY, Secretary, RICHMOND, VIRGINIA §

NOTICE! We will pay 25 cents per copy

for a limited number of KABLE-

GRAMS of issue No. 3.

Apply to CADET MEGGS,

Room 507, North Barracks.

cACME BARBER SHOP

Next to Palace Bowling Alley

Cadet Work a Specialty

S. M. A. Headquarters for Things Musical

We carry in stock at all times, all kinds of Stringed Instruments, Sheet Music, Records, Player Rolls, Strings, etc. •

When Down Town, Make Our Store Your Headquarters

W. H. Beardsworth Music Store

"The Home of Things Musical"

19 Central Ave.

Phone 128 Staunton, Va.

FOR THE MOST

Delicious Soda Water IN THE CITY

As well as for the choicest

CANDIES Liggett's, Guth's, Martha

Washington Brands GO TO

WILLSON BROS., DRUGGISTS

The PALACE, Ltd. Billiards and Bowling

Staunton, Virginia

S. M. A. Cadets always make

The Palace Ltd. their headquarters while

down town

9 Tables 4 Alleys

Join the Crowd at

Camp Terra Alta from

June 30th to August 25th fir

eight weeks' delightful vacation

Billiards, Bowling, Aquatic and Athletic Sports

Dance every Friday night

Central Barber Shop

Sanitary Shaving Parlor Central Avenue

3 BARBERS 3 Student's Work a Specialty

Uniforms, Supplies, Pre- sentation Sabres and

All Equipment

WILLIAM C. ROWLAND 1024 Race Street

Philadelphia, Pa.

Unifromers of S. .M. A.

The N U WAY ATLANTA 1 1

STYLE Lunch

Weiner Hot-Dog, Ham- burger, Cheese and Ham

5c — All Kind Soft Drinks

Everything 5c

HOW ABOUT YOUR EYES ? IF YOU NEED

New glasses fitted A lens replaced Frames repaired

A presciption for glasses filled or anything in the Optical line.

SEE US We have our own lens grinding

plant.

H. L.LANG Masonic Temple

The Timberlake-Murphy

Company

Incorporated

Men's and Boys' Furnishings,

Hats, Shoes, Trunks, Bags, Etc.

Phone 257

24 East Main Street

High-class Custom Tailoring Custom Made Shirts

THE KABLEGRAM

The McClure Co, Printers of

College Publications

Inc.

STAUNTON, VIRGINIA

;OKOK

| The Official S. M. A. Jeweler s O

Carries a complete and extensive line of S. M. A. Rings, Pins and Souvenir Goods

o

H Unsurpassed Engraving and Watch Repairing Service |

1 D. L. SWITZER 1 JEWELER

9 19 East Main Street o

Staunton, Virginia § o

Griffith & Brooks MERCHANT TAILORS

[eadquarters for S. M. A. Cadets 103 E. Main St. Staunton, Va.

SHIRLEY FOOD PRODUCTS

MEANS QUALITY ONLY Ask YEAGER

FLEMING & CHRISTIAN CO. RICHMOND VIRGINIA

NEW THEATRE

Staunton, Va.

ALUMNI OaOKC^OKOSOKOSOKOKOKOSOKO D

Guy D. Randolph, '15, wirites Major Wonson from the Sigma Nu House at Northwestern University the following:

"It might interest you to know that prior to the war there were two S. M. A. grads at Northwest- ern, Peters and myself, and about fifteen Culver cadets—also every other military school in this part of the country was represented. The government put in an R. O. T. C. unit, and I was made major of the battalion, and Peters, senior captain."

Sailor Asbury, '17, is back in Staunton visiting friends.

Pat Hughes, '17, who is attend- ing U. of Va., was in Staunton last night for the informal.

George Cary, ex-'19, has enlist- ed in the Motor Transport Corps, and is stationed at Columbus Bar- racks, Columbus, Ohio.

Charles R. Helmbold, ex-'19, is now a reporter on the Washington Herald, Washington, D. C.

E. E. Gates, '18, is in business with his father in Indianapolis, Ind.

Dale, '18, is attending the Tem- ple School in Washington, D. C.

"Dick" Evans, ex-'19, expects to take Annapolis examination in April.

"Doc" Gordon, '18, is at Dart- mouth.

Robert Buckler, ex-'17, was on board the Pocahontas when last heard from.

R. L. Sheridan, '18, alies "Tex" and "General," is now in the em- ploy of the American Lithographic Company, New York, as Com. Salesman. "General" sends his re- gards to everyone.

W. R. Riley, ex-'18, is now at- tending Georgetown Prep.

S. Donaldson Short, ex-'19, is married, and is living in Detroit, Mich.

Walter E. Schujahn, ex-'19, is in the Engineers with the Ameri- can Forces in Germany, and is now stationed at Coblenz. He expects to return to S. M. A. next Febru- ary.

Eddie Pine, '15, is in the real estate business in Miami, Fla.

Harry W. Peterson, ex-'18, is working in Jacksonville, Fla.

o

HEBRAICALLY SPEAKING My son, forget not thy French,

but let thine heart keep its voca- bularies. Trust in thy instructors with all thine heart, and learn not unto thine own understanding, which is naught. Happy is the man that findeth French, and the man that getteth on to the "Frog" tongue; for the quoting of it .be- fore your girl is better than the quoting of rag time songs. It is almost as good as chocolates, and all the taffy that thou canst give her is not to be compared unto it. Ah, but hard study is in its right hand, and in its left hand much late lights. Its ways are ways of work, and all its paths are trouble. But, my son, let it not depart from thy head on examination.

Flip's A„ CADET

DON'T GIVE AN UNRELIABLE PRESENT TX7HEN bestowing a gift, you want to be sure it's worthy in every

* » sense. No matter how small it may be, it acts as a remembrance of the doner, and no person wants to be remembered by a shoddy gift.

Our stocks are replete with gift goods of the most dependable nature. Our store has always stood for quality above all else, and are we offering a selection infinately larger and better than ever before.

We would be pleased to have you come in. SSt Agents for EASTMAN KODAKS and SUPPLIES. Leave us your films to be developed and printed.

H. L. LANG & CO., Masonic Temple

{

8 THE KABLEGRAM

sraKOSK^KOKOSKDSOSKDBSOSOHOKOSO the different departmental com- To be Cadet Corporal, Burdine, 75 feet—283 out of possible 500 MILITARY B manders and the War Department, assigned to Co. F.

^SraaoaomaoaOKOHOHOSSOKOH was received the other day in CoL To be Cadet Corporal, Thomp- 960 out of possible 1500 In accordance with an act of Conklin's office. Bulletin No. 6, son, K, assigned to Co. C. CO. C

Congress, summer R. O. T. C. which was sent to all Territorial By order 25 feet—387 out of possible 500 camps have been established in Departments, the Asst. Chief of COL. CONKLIN. 50 feet—328 out of possible 500 each of the War Department di- Staff, Eastern Department, and the 75 feet—341 out of possible 500 visions for the purpose of giving a R. O. T. C. branch of the War STAUNTON MILITARY summer course to those cadets in Department, under a caption of ACADEMY 1036 out of possible 1500 R. O. T. C. units throughout the '"Items of Interest," contains March 6, 1920. CO. D various military schools in the Staunton Military Academy Gen- MEMORANDUM : 25 feet—385 out of possible 500 country. The location of the In- eral Order No. 22 of January 9th, The following is published for 50 feet—288 out of possible 500 fantry camps are as follows: which defined the new method of the information and guidance of 75 feet—311 out of possible 500

Camp Devens, Mass., to receive determining the Honor Company. ail concerned. those applicants from the North- A short paragraph also con- Rank and Precedence of Officers 1084 out of possible 1500 eastern and Eastern Departments. tained the announcement that a and Non-Commissioned Officers CO. E

Camp Custer,- Michigan, from new R. O. T. C. emblem has been The following are the grades of 25 feet—392 out of possible 500 the Central Department. designed and ordered. rank of Officers and Non-Com- 50 feet—278 out of possible 500

tamp Benning, Ga., from the missioned Officers: 75 feet—280 out of possible 500 Southeastern Department, Okla- MORE WORK FOR THE 1. Major — homa and Teas. FIRST SERGEANTS 2. Captain 951 out of possible 1500

The Presidio, California, from According to a special order pub- 3. Lieutenants CO. F the Western Department, Arizona, lished at retreat March 6th, from 4. Battalion Sgt. Major 25 feet—392 out of possible 500 and New Mexico. that date the first sergeants have to 5. Senior Supply Sgt. 50 feet—291 out of possible 500

The period of instruction is to report to the infirmary every night 6. First Sergeants 75 feet—316 out of possible 500 cover about six weeks, the camps after supper and get the daily sick 7. Ordnance Sgt. opening June 17, 1920, and closing report. The old plan of notifying 8. Hospital Sgt. 999 out of possible 1500 July 28, 1920. them of absentees and excuses 9. Junior Supply Sgt. CO. B

The applicants will be furnished through the Commandant's Office 10. Color Sgt. Prince 107 out of possible,150 traveling expenses to and from the has been discontinued. 11. Sergeants, Supply Ser- Booth 103 out of possible 150 camp, and will be subsisted on the geants Co. CO. D way. On arriving at their destina- February 27, 1920. 12. Corporals Gross 121 out of possible 150 tion, they will be issued the follow- SPECIAL ORDER NO. 26. In each grade date of appoint- Simmond . .109 out of possible 150 ing articles: Cadet Sgt. Benedict is hereby ment determines the order of pre- CO. E

One hat, one cord, one cotton O. transferred from Staff to Co. B. cedence. Trifrery .. .112 out of possible 150 D. coat, two breeches, O. D. cot- Cadet Sgt. Gallager is appointed By order of Colonel Conklin, Stewart .. . . 106 out of possible 150 ton, two shirts, O. D., one waist Color Sgt. assigned to Staff. per CO. F belt, one pair leggins, two pair By order Col. Conklin, E. A. MAUE, Doty 107 out of possible 150 marching shoes. The rations will per Cadet Lt. Adjutant. Mullin 106 out of possible 150 be the same as those of West E. H. MAUE, The following men are an- Point. A number of cadets at S. Cadet Lt. and Adjt. STANDING OF RIFLE nounced as best shots on Company M. A. have signed up for the sum- February 28, 1920. TEAMS Rifle Teams up to March 10th: mer course, which promises to be SPECIAL ORDER No. 28. March 10th CO. A very interesting. The instruction The following appointments and CO. A Whitwell . .119 out of possible 150 will be in regard to detail R. O. T. assignments are to be made to 25 feet—349 out of possible 500 Demoya .. .109 out of possible 150 C. work. take effect at breakfast: 50 feet—299 out of possible 500 CO. C

To be Cadet 1st Sgt., Blackmore, 75 feet—296 out of possible 500 McNeil 118 out of possible 150 A bulletin sent out from the assigned to S. C. Meggs 112 out of possible 150

Headquarters of the Eastern De- To be Cadet Sgt., Wing, assigned 944 out of possible 1500 : o partment to all professors of Mili- Co. F. CO. B FOUND—One forty-five revolver tarv Science and Tactics, and con- To be Cadet Sgt., Barbour, as- 25 feet—392 out of possible 500 with the initials W. L. J. Eight - taining correspondence between signed to S. C. 50 feet—285 out of possible 500 een notches on the handle.

Washington and Lee University Lex^fton' Liberal Arts, Law, Commerce, Engineering

Student self-government under the Honor-System, Universal Physical Training National Patronage, Historic Associations.

A Nursery of American Leadership since 1749, with campus Traditions of Honor Courtesy, and Democracy. Catalogue and Bulletins sent upon request.

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