rock school script

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    Rock School Script

    Three, four.

    'Kay, this little dude here is

    gonna rock your ass tonight.!

    Swear to God.

    The other guys are gonna

    rock your asses too.

    It's a good one. It's a good one.

    I only got angry six times

    during nine weeks of rehearsals.

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    That's gotta mean somethin', all right?

    Thank you guys for comin' tonight.

    You guys ready to rock tonight?

    I'm gonna ask for one more big hand,

    'cause these kids worked really hard.

    You guys can set off the whole thing

    tonight. One more big hand. Come on.

    Ladies and gentlemen,

    our tribute to the guitar gods.

    Five, six, five, six, seven, eight.

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    Hey, did you guys ever see my

    Silence of the Lambs impression?

    - Yes.

    - Oh, God.

    Who's here saw

    Silence of the Lambs?

    - Yes.

    - That's the best movie of all time.

    He does.

    He spits, though.

    If you don't want spit on you,

    I'd suggest you move.

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    Okay. Very good. Very good.

    Guys, you gotta watch this.

    Come on. Stop!

    Put the lotion in the basket!

    It puts the lotion in the basket,

    or it gets the hose!

    It puts the lotion in the basket,

    or it gets the hose!

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    Put the fuckin' lotion in the basket!

    Thank you.

    I'm qualified to teach-

    I'm probably not qualified to teach.

    But I have people on staff

    with music degrees, for those parents-

    I'm self-quali-

    I mean, I'm a really good teacher.

    I just say that 'cause I am.

    I mean, I just-

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    It comes naturally to me.

    And I've honed my craft

    over the years.

    You know- Some people can just play.

    I can just teach.

    And I'll teach all day.

    I'll teach you somethin' right now.

    Okay? I'll teach you

    how to take a punch.

    It started out with just kids

    coming over to my apartment every week.

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    I thought they gettin' real good.

    I had a practice space

    when I was with my band.

    So I said, "Okay, kids,

    let's get together on Saturday and jam."

    And we did, and the kids were awful.

    All those scales and chords and songs

    they learned were useless.

    I'm a stubborn son of a bitch.

    So I said, "Okay, we're gettin' together

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    every Saturday until you guys get this."

    Then it was only three

    or four Saturdays later...

    where the kids I was bringin' to the thing

    were so much better.

    All the strings-

    Big ideas I was able to express in

    concrete terms that kids could understand.

    So- And I loved it.

    It wasn'tjust like,

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    "Since my band didn't make it...

    I'll teach guitar,

    and I'll be all bitter."

    I was like, you know, "This is cool.

    And I don't have to carry equipment."

    It was only a matter of time from there

    that a friend of mine...

    who had heard us jamming

    and working on things said...

    "Why don't you guys play

    at my art opening?"

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    Let's do it!

    And the kids were amazing.

    There were, like, people there.

    There was, like, glass windows outside,

    and people were six deep outside.

    At that point, I was like,

    "Okay, this is somethin' here."

    - Tucker, just do it.

    - Okay, fine.

    I wanna be a musician

    when I grow up...

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    because I wanna go on tour.

    And that's the reason why

    I wanna be a musician.

    I want-Wait.

    What was the question you asked?

    I wanna be a musician

    when I grow up so I can-

    so I can, like, go to concerts...

    - Hello.

    - Get free tickets to go to places.

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    - Hello.

    - And things like that.

    AC/DC's really simple.

    And all you do is-

    One and two and three and four.

    One and two and three and four.

    Collins twins. You know,

    I think they- They go to school.

    I think it's hard for them

    to practice a lot on their own.

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    But they don't- I'm not sayin'-

    They're nine-year-olds.

    They need to work

    a little more on music.

    One thing I don't really like is people

    appreciating the novelty of playing music.

    So, even if you're nine-

    I mean, that's the whole point

    of what we do here is not...

    "Come look at kids play music."

    It's, "Come and look at kids

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    play music well. "

    I learned a long time ago...

    if you don't tell a kid what

    they can't do, they may never find out.

    I'm not gonna cut them short

    and say...

    "You're nine. Let's put you on stage

    and not turn your volume up."

    You know. Who knows?

    Maybe Tucker can play drums.

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    And maybe all it takes

    is someone believing in them...

    in a way where it's, like,

    all you gotta do is practice.

    You know, C.J. Makes it hard

    for everybody else.

    C.J.'s and look how good he is.

    I'm gonna be in a band.

    I'm gonna be writin' songs.

    Yeah, I'm gonna sell millions.

    Stuff, hopefully.

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    We tried baseball,

    and I think he tried soft- soccer?

    - Uh-huh.

    - Soccer.

    And martial arts,

    and that's really not his thing.

    For him, I mean, the guitar is it.

    When he started playing guitar,

    I asked him what he wanted to be.

    He said, "I wanna be a rock star."

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    At the time,

    he was good enough.

    I didn't see any reason why, you know,

    I would discourage him from doing that.

    C.J. Is gonna make us all

    a lot of money.

    Couldn't ask for more in a kid.

    Soft-spoken, kind, smart,

    hardworking, talented.

    Not only does he have the talent...

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    but I've never seen focus

    in somebody that age.

    Pretty much after every performance,

    I could say I try-

    I wanna do better than that,

    even though that was good.

    I want to strive to be perfect.

    Yeah, I'm kind of a perfection-

    perfectionist.

    Whenever I do coffeehouses

    and stufflike that...

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    I play, like, Sheryl Crow

    and all the folky stuff...

    then stuff that I wrote,

    which is not always rock.

    Because, my voice, actually,

    kind of shines with folky things.

    You know, like Sheryl Crow

    and the Dixie Chicks.

    Madi's a pain in my ass, okay?

    Madi has all the support- I don't think

    that girl was told no once in her life.

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    Madi's a girl who came to me...

    and she walked right in,

    in front of a room full of people...

    picked up an acoustic guitar

    and sang a Sheryl Crow song.

    And I was amazed that a teenage girl

    would have the courage...

    to sing a Sheryl Crow song.

    I gasped that she would sing a Sheryl

    Crow song. You know what I mean?

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    If I had to bet on the five kids

    who were gonna make it...

    in some way I'd say Madi's one.

    She's confident.

    She's, you know, she has a good look.

    She-A little dated, but it works.

    She can play guitar.

    She can sing.

    She could probably make it

    without my help.

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    My concern is, is she gonna

    make it as, you know,. Jewel?

    Or is she gonna make it

    as. Joni Mitchell...

    who could fuckin'play guitar?

    I'll tell you what.

    I'm William H. O'Connor.

    I was born Caesarean birth.