rent (school) - script

8/2/2019 RENT (School) - Script

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1A c t I

( The audience enters in the theatre to discover a stage bare of.c ur t ai ns A t s t a ge l ef t l o om s a

: ( )m et al s c ul pt ur e i nt en de d t o r ep re se nt a a t o te m/p ol e C hr i st ma s t r ee t ha t s t an ds i n a n

, ( )a ba nd on ed l ot b a w oo d b ur ni ng s to ve w it h a s na ky c h im ne yt ha t i s a t t he c en te r o f M AR K

' , ( ) , .a nd R O GE R s l of t a pa rt me nt a nd c i n A ct I I a c h ur ch s t ee pl e -O n s t ag e t he f i ve m us i ci a n

.b a nd p erfo rms u n der a w o od en p l at f orm su rro u nd ed b y ra i li n g T h e w o od en p l at f orm h a s a

. , -s t ai rc as e o n t h e u p s ta g e s i de D ow ns t ag e l e ft i s a b la ck w ai s t.h ig h r a i l f en ce O nc e t h e

,a ud ie nc e i s i n t he t he at r e C REW a nd B AN D M E M BE RS m ov ea b ou t i n fo rma l l y o nst a ge i n

.p rep a rat i on f o r A ct I, ,R OG ER DAV IS c ar r yi ng a n e le ct r ic g ui t ar e nt e rs u ps t ag e l ef t

a nd c ro ss e s t o a g ui t ar a mp.s i tt i ng o n a c ha i r a t c e nt e r s t a ge H e c as ua l ly p lu gs h is g ui t ar

,i nt o t he a mp a nd a dj us t s l ev e ls.t he n c ro ss e s d ow ns t ag e a nd s i ts o n t he t ab le

, , ,Af te r a f ew c ho rd s t he C OMP AN Y l ed b y M A RK C OH EN e nt er sf rom a l l d i rec t io n s a n d f i l l s

. 16t he s ta ge M AR K se ts u p a s ma ll t ri pod a nd a m m mo vi e,c a mera d o w nst a ge c ent er a i med

. .)u p st a g e He a d d resses t h e a u d i enc eMARK

, , ,We b eg in o n C h ri st ma s E ve w it h m e M ar k a nd m y r o om ma te .R og er We l i ve i n a n i n d us t ri al

11 ,l oft o n t he c or ner o f t h s tr ee t a nd A ve nu e B t he t o p fl oo r of w ha t w a s o n c e a mu si c p u bl i shi n g

. ' ' .f ac to ry O ld r o ck n r ol l p os te rs h a ng o n t he w a ll s T he y h av e'R og er s p i ct u re a d vert isi ng g i gs a t' .C BG B s a nd t he P yr a mi d C l ub We h av e a n i l le ga l w oo d b ur n in g;s t ov e i t s e x ha us t p ip e c r a wl s

.u p t o a s ky li g ht A ll o f o ur e le ct r ic al a pp l ia nc es a re p lu gg ed i nt oo ne t h ic k exten sio n c o rd w h ic h

. ,s nak es i ts w ay o ut a w in do w O ut si de a s ma ll t en t c i ty h ass p r u n g u p i n t h e l o t n e x t t o o u r

. , .b ui l di ng I n si de w e a r e f r e ez in g b e ca us e w e h av e n o h ea t( )MARK turns the camera to ROGER

!Smile#1 TUNE UP

MARK24 ,December th Nine PM

Eastern Standard TimeFr om h er e o n i n

2I s ho ot w it ho ut a s cr i pt

S ee i f a ny t hi ng c om es o f i t--First shot Roger

Tuning the Fender guitar


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'H e h as n t p la ye d i n a y ea rROGER

'T h is w o n t t u neMARK

S o w e h ea r'H e s j us t c om in g b ac k

From h a lf a year o f w i th d ra w al

ROGER?A re y ou t al k in g t o m e

MARKN ot a t a ll

? --Ar e you ready H old that f oc us s teady' . . . Tell t h e f o lks a t h ome w ha t yo u re d o i ng R og er

ROGER' --I m w ri t in g o ne g re at s on g

MARK. The phone rings

ROGER!Saved( )M AR K t o a ud ie nc e

We screen

!Z o om i n o n t h e a n sw eri n g ma c h i ne( 'An actor places a telephone on a chair and we see MARK S

.)M OM i n a s pe c ia l l ig ht#1V OI C E MA IL

& 'R OG ER M AR K S O UT GO IN G ME SS AG E" " . . . (" !")Speak BeeeepMOM

T ha t w as a v e ry l ou d b ee p'I d on t e ve n k no w i f t hi s i s w or ki ng-- --Mark Mark are you there

--A re yo u sc reeni n g yo ur c a l ls'I t s m omW e w a n t e d t o c a l l a n d s a y w e l o v e y o u

3

'A nd w e l l m is s y o u t o mo rr ow--Ci nd y a nd the ki ds ar e he re s end th ei r l ov e

,O h I h op e y o u l ik e t h e h ot p la te' , J us t d on t l ea ve i t o n d ea r

W he n y ou l ea v e t he h ou s e,O h a nd M ar k'We r e s or r y t o h ea r t ha t M au re e n d um pe d y o u

'I s ay c e st la v ie. . .S o l e t h e r b e a l e s b i a n

T he re a re o th er f is h ie s i n t he s e a. . . Love Mom( .)Lights fade on MOM and answering machine

#2 TUNE UPMARK

' Tell t h e f o lks a t h ome w ha t yo u re d o i ng R og erROGER' --I m w ri t in g o ne g re at s on g

( )M AR K t o a ud ie nc e. The phone rings

ROGER!Yesss( )M AR K t o a ud ie nc e

.We screen


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& 'R OG ER M AR K S A NS WE RI NG M AC HI NE" " . . . (" !")Speak Beeeep( : -Lights fade up on the street the front door area of MARK and

' .R OG ER s b ui l di ng N ea r by i s a. .)b at t er ed p ub l ic p ay p ho ne T OM C OL L IN S s t an ds a t t he p ho ne

COLLINS" .. ."Chestnuts roasting

&ROGER MARK ( )as MARK picks up the phone

!CollinsCOLLINS'I m d o wn st ai rs4MARK

!HeyCOLLINS

?R og er p i cked u p t h e p h on eMARK

, ' .No it s meCOLLINS

. T hro w d o wn t h e key

(MARK pulls out a small leather pouch and drops it off thea pr o n d o w ns t ag e c e nt e r a s i f f ro m a

; " ."w in do w a w ei gh te d l e a th er p ou ch p l op s d o wn f r o m u ps t ai r s .)C OLLI N S c a tc h es i t

MARK-A w i l d n i g ht i s n ow p re o rd ai ne d

( , . Two THUGS appear from above with clubs They are obviously ,c l ose t o a t ta c kin g C OLLI N S

. . . )w ho s a ys b ac k i nt o t he p ho neCOLLINS

.I m ay b e d et a in ed( , THUGS mime beating and kicking COLLINS who falls to the

.)g ro un d a s l ig ht s o n h im f ad eMARK

. . .?W ha t d oe s h e m ea n( )Phone rings again

" "?W ha t d o y o u m ea n d et ai ne d( , ' .)Lights come up on BENNY who s on a cellular phoneBENNY

.H o h o h o&MARK ROGER! ( !)Benny No

BENNY, 'Du de s I m o n m y w ay&MARK ROGER

! ( !)Great Cr apBENNYI n e e d t h e r e n t5MARK

?What rentBENNY

' T hi s p as t y ea r s r en t w hi ch I l et s l id eMARK

? " "L et s li de You sa id w e we re g ol de nROGER

W hen yo u b o ug h t t h e b u il d i ng


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MARKW hen w e w ere ro ommat es

ROGER-- !?Remember y ou l ive d her e

BENNY?H ow c ou ld I f or ge t

, , Yo u m e C ol l in s a n d M a ur e en

?H ow i s t he d r am a q ue e nMARK

'S h e s p erfo rmi n g t o n ig h tBENNY

.I k no w?S t il l h er p rod u ct i o n ma na g er

MARK Two d a ys a g o I w a s b u mp ed

BENNY? You stil l dating her

MARKL as t m on t h I w as d um pe d

ROGER'S he s i n l ov e

BENNY' ?S he s g ot a n ew m an

MARK--Well no

6BENNY

' ?W ha t s h is n am e&MARK ROGER

JoanneBENNY

, ,Re nt m y am ig os i s d ueO r I w i l l h a v e t o e v i c t y o uB e t h e r e i n a f e w

( ' 'ROGER defiantly picks out Musetta s theme from Puccini s La.B o heme o n t h e el ect ri c g u it a r

. ) T he f us e b lo ws o n t h e a mp( )M AR K t o a ud ie nc e

. . . The power blowsRENT( . The COMPANY bursts into a flurry of movement Then everyone exc ept MA RK a n d R OGER

. )f reez es i n a g rou p u p st a geMARK

H ow d o y o u d oc um en t r ea l l i feW he n r ea l l i fe i s g et t in g m or e

Li ke f i ct i o n ea c h d a y-- -Headline s br ead li nes

B lo w m y m i ndA nd n o w t h i s d ead l in e

" -- "Eviction or pay!Rent

ROGERH o w d o y o u w r i t e a s o n gW hen t h e c h ord s so u nd w ron g

T h ou g h t h ey o n ce so un d ed ri g ht a n d ra reW he n t he n ot e s a re s o urW he re i s t he p ow er


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Yo u o n ce h ad t o i gn it e t he a i rMARK

'A nd w e r e h un gr y a nd f ro ze nROGER

'S om e l i fe t ha t w e v e c ho s en&MARK ROGER

H ow w e g on na p ay

H ow w e g on na p ay7

H ow w e g on na p ay'L as t y e ar s r en t

MARKWe l i g ht c a nd l es

ROGERH o w d o y o u s t a r t a f i r e

'W he n t he re s n ot h in g t o b ur n'A nd i t f e el s l ik e s om e th in g s s t uc k i n y o ur f l ue

MARKH ow c an y o u g en er a te h ea t

'W he n y ou c an t f ee l y o ur f ee t&MARK ROGER

' !A nd t h ey re t u rn i ng b l ueMARK

Yo u l i g ht u p a mean b l az e( .)ROGER grabs one of his own postersROGER

--With posters( .)MARK grabs old manuscriptsMARK

And screenplays&ROGER MARK

H ow w e g on na p ayH ow w e g on na p ayH ow w e g on na p ay

'L as t y e ar s r en t( ,Lights go down on the loft and go up on JOANNE JEFFERSON

' .)w ho s a t t he p ay p ho neJOANNE

' ,D on t s cr ee n M au re e n' --It s me Joanne

Your substitute production manager! ( ?)Hey h ey h ey D id y ou e at

'D o n t c h an ge t h e su bj ect Ma ureen-- 'But da rl ing you ha ven t eat en all day

'Yo u w o n t t h ro w u p'Yo u w o n t t h ro w u p

-- The digital delay8

' ( )D id n t b lo w u p e xa ct ly T he re m ay h av e b ee n o ne t ee n y t i ny s pa r k

' You re not calling MarkCOLLINS

H o w d o y o u s t a y o n y o u r f e e tW he n o n e v er y s tr e et

' ' 'I t s t ri ck o r t r ea t( ' ' ')And tonight it s trick' 'Welcome back to town

,O h I s ho ul d l ie d o wn


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'Everything s brown--And uh oh

I f ee l s i c k( )M AR K A t t he w in do w

?W he re i s h eCOLLINS

Getting dizzy

( .)He collapses&MARK ROGER

H ow w e g on na p ayH ow w e g on na p ayH ow w e g on na p ay

'L as t y e ar s r en t( . 'MARK and ROGER stoke the fire Crosscut to BENNY s Range

.)Rover( )B EN NY O n c e l lu la r p ho ne

--Alison baby you sound sad' 'I d on t b el i ev e t ho se t wo a ft er e ve r yt hi ng I ve d on e

' -- 'Eve r sinc e our w eddi ng I m d irt T he y l l seeI c a n h e l p t h e m a l l o u t i n t h e l o n g r u n( : , Three locales JOANNE at the pay phone MARK and ROGER in

,t he ir l of t a nd C OL L IN S o n. .)t h e g ro un d T h e f o l l ow i ng i s su ng si mul t a neo usl y

BENNYForces are gatheringForces are gathering

'C an t t ur n a wa yForces are gathering

COLLINS--Ughhhhh--Ughhhhh-- 'Ughhhhh I ca n t think

9--Ughhhhh--UghhhhhUghhhhh

( )M AR K r e ad in g f r om a s c ri pt p ag e" " The music ignites the night with passionate fire

JOANNE-- 'Mauree n I m not a thea tre per son

ROGER" " The narration crackles and pops with incendiary wit

JOANNEC ou ld n ev e r b e a t h ea tr e p er s on

MARKZ oo m i n a s t he y b ur n t he p as t t o t he g ro un d

( ' ) J OA NN E r e al i zi ng s he s b ee n c ut o ff ?Hello&MARK ROGER

'A nd f ee l t he h ea t o f t h e f ut ur e s g lo wJOANNE

?Hello( . .) The phone rings in the loft MARK picks it up

( )M ARK O n p ho ne? ?H el l o M au re en

' ? Your equipment won t work, , ' !Ok ay a ll r i ght I l l g o&M AR K H AL F T HE C OMP AN Y


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H ow d o y o u l e a ve t he p as t b eh in dW he n i t k ee ps f i nd in g w ay s t o g et t o y o ur h ea r t

I t r ea c he s w ay d ow n d ee p a nd t ea r s y o u i n s id e o ut' T il l yo u re t o rn a p art

!Rent&R OG ER O TH ER HA LF OF CO MP AN Y

H ow c an y o u c o nn ec t i n a n a ge

, ,W here st ra ng ers l a nd l ord s l o vers Yo ur o w n b l o od c el ls b etra y

COMPANYW ha t b i nd s t h e f a bri c t o get her

10,W he n t he r a gi ng s h if ti ng w in ds o f c ha ng e

Keep ri p pi n g a w ayBENNY

D r a w a l i n e i n t h e s a n dA nd t he n m ak e a s t an d

ROGERU se y ou r c am er a t o s p ar

MARKU se yo ur g u it a r

COMPANY-W he n th ey a ct t ou gh y ou c al l th ei r bl uf f

&MARK ROGER'We r e n ot g on na p ay

& &MARK ROGE R HALF THE COMPANY'We r e n ot g on na p ay

& &MARK ROGE R OTHER H ALF OF C OMPANY'We r e n ot g on na p ay

COMPANY'L as t y e ar s r en t'T h is yea r s rent'N ex t y e ar s r en t

R en t rent rent rent rent'We r e n ot g on na p ay r en t

&ROGER MARK 'Cause everything is rent

? ( ) YOU O KA Y HO NE Y T he s t re et( . The street in front of the pay phone A HOMELESS MAN appears

.a bo ve o n t h e r i g ht A cr os s t h e,s t ag e A NG E L D UM OT T S CH UN AR D i s s ea t ed o n t he C hr i st ma s

,t re e s c ul pt ur e w it h a p la s ti c. )p ic kl e t ub b al an ce d l ik e a d r um b et we en h is k ne es

A HOMELESS MA NC h ri st ma s b el ls a re ri n gi n gC h ri st ma s b el ls a re ri n gi n gC h ri st ma s b el ls a re ri n gi n g

!Somewhere elseN o t h ere

11( . The HOMELESS MAN exits ANGEL gets a good beat going on

,t he t ub b ut i s i n te rr up te d b y a.m oa n H e s ta rt s t o d ru m a g ai n a nd s ee s C OL LI NS l im p t o

- .)downstage left prosceniumANGEL

? You okay honeyCOLLINS'I m a fr ai d s o


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ANGEL? T h ey g et a n y mo ney

COLLINS,No ha d n on e t o g etB ut t he y p ur l oi ne d m y c oa t

! --Well you mis sed a s lee ve thanksANGEL

, 'H el l i t s C hr i st ma s E v e'I m A ng e l

COLLINS?A ng el I nd ee d

A n a ng el o f t he f i rs t d eg re e--Fr ie nd s c al l m e Co ll ins Tom C ol li ns

. . .N i ce t reeANGEL

' -L et s g et a b an d a id f or y ou r k ne e' , ' " " -I l l c ha ng e t he re s a L if e S up po rt m ee ti ng a t n i ne t hi rt y

-- Yes t hi s b od y pr ov id es a c om fo rt ab le ho meF or t h e A c qu ired I mmun e D efi c i en c y S ynd rome

COLLINSA s d oe s m i ne

ANGEL'We l l g et a l on g f i ne

,Ge t y ou a c oa t ha ve a bi te-- 'Make a night I m flush

COLLINS--My f ri en d s a re w a i t i ng

ANGEL' Yo u re c u te w h en yo u b l ush

-- The more the merr y ho ho hoA n d I d o n o t t a k e n o

12( .)ANGEL and COLLINS walk off stage right

#3 ( ) TUNE UP The loft( .)Lights come up on loftROGER

?W here a re yo u g o i ngMARK

. . .Maureen callsROGER

' !Yo u re su ch a su ckerMARK

' ' ?I d on t s up po se y ou d l ik e t o s ee h er s ho w i n t he l ot t on ig ht ( .)ROGER shrugs Or come to

?dinnerROGER

.Z oo m i n o n m y e mp t y w a l le tMARK

. . ( ) Tou ch e Take you r A Z T T o au d ien ceC l ose o n R og er

Hi s g i rlf ri end A p ri l" ' "L ef t a n ot e s a yi ng W e v e g o t A I DS

B efo re sl i t t i ng h er w rist s i n t h e b a th roo m' . .I l l c he ck u p o n y ou l at er C ha ng e y o ur m in d You h av e t o g e t

.o ut o f t he h ou se( .)He exits

ON E S ONG G LOR YROGER


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' . . .I m w ri t in g o ne g re at s on g b ef or e IOn e so ng

GloryOn e so ng

B ef or e I g oGlory

O ne s o ng t o l ea v e b e hi nd

F in d o n e so ngOn e l a st refra i n

Glory13

Fr om t he p re t ty b oy f ro nt m a nWho wasted opportunityOn e so ng

H e h ad t he w or ld a t h is f ee tGlory

I n t h e e y e s o f a y o u n g g i r lA y ou ng g ir l

Find gloryB eyo n d t h e c h ea p c o lo red l i g ht s

On e so ng

B ef or e t he s u n s e ts--Gl or y on anot her empt y life

-- Time flies time dies--Glory One blaze of glor y

--One blaze of glory glor yFindGlory

I n a s on g t ha t r in gs t ru e Trut h l ike a b l az i ng f i re

A n et ern al f l a meFind

On e so ngA s on g a bo ut l o ve

GloryFr om t he s o ul o f a y ou ng m an

A y ou ng m anFind

T h e o n e so ngB efo re t h e vi rus t a kes h o ld

GloryL ik e a s u ns e tOn e so ng

To redeem t h is empt y l i f e Time flies

-A nd t he n n o ne ed t o en dur e any mo re Time dies

( .ROGER is interrupted by a sharp knock on the door It is MIMI ,MA RQU EZ a b ea ut i f ul

. )stranger from downstairsROGER

. The door( .)ROGER crosses to the door

LI G HT MY C A N D LEROGER

' ?W ha t d yo u f o rg et14( , ;MIMI enters holding a candle and looking for a match her


10/63

, .)e le ct r ic i ty i s d o wn t o oMIMI

?G ot a l ig htROGER

? -- ' --I know you You re' You re shivering

MIMI

'I t s n o t hi n g T h ey t u rn ed o f f my h eat'A nd I m j us t a l it tl eWe ak o n m y f ee t

?W ou l d yo u l i g ht my c a nd l e?W ha t a re y o u s t a r in g a t

ROGERNothing

Yo ur h a ir i n t h e mo on l i gh t You look familiar

( . , .)He lights her candle MIMI starts to leave but stumbles?C an y ou m ak e i t

MIMI' J u st h a ven t ea ten mu ch t o da y

.A t l ea st t h e ro om st o pp ed sp i nn i ng. ?A ny wa y W ha t

ROGERNothing

-- Yo ur smi le remi n ded me o f MIMI

-- ?I always remind people of who is sheROGER

.S he d ie d H er na me w as A pr il( .)MIMI discreetly blows out the candleMIMI'I t s o ut a ga in

S orry a b ou t yo ur f ri end?W ou l d yo u l i g ht my c a nd l e

( . , .)ROGER lights the candle They linger awkwardlyROGER15

--WellMIMI

. ! Yeah OwROGER

, -- ' --Oh t he wax it sMIMI

! -- --Dripping I like it between myROGER

. . . .Fi ng er s I f ig ur e d, . .O h w el l G oo dn ig ht

( . .MIMI exits ROGER heads back toward his guitar on the table , T h ere i s a n ot h er kn o ck w h ic h

. )h e a n sw ersROGER

?I t b le w o ut a ga i nMIMI

--No I think that I dropped my stashROGER

'I k no w I v e s ee n y ou o ut a nd a bo utW h e n I u s e d t o g o o u t


11/63

' Your candle s outMIMI' ' --I m i l li nI h a d i t w h e n I w a l k e d i n t h e d o o r

--I t w as p ur e?I s i t o n t h e f l o o r

ROGER

? The floor(MIMI gets down on all fours and starts searching the floor for

.he r s ta sh S he l oo ks b ac k a t, .)R OG ER w ho i s s ta ri ng a t h er a ga in

MIMI14 T he y s ay I ha ve t he b e st a s s b el ow t h s tr ee t

?I s i t t ru eROGER

?WhatMIMI16

' . You re staring againROGER

.O h n o

-- --I mean you do have a nice--I mean You look familiar

MIMI?Li ke yo ur d ead g i rlf ri en d

ROGERO nl y w he n y ou s mi l e' ' --B ut I m s ur e I v e s e en y o u s o me wh er e e l se

MIMI?D o y o u g o t o t h e C a t S c r a t c h C l u b

' - - That s where I wor k I dance help me lookROGER

!Yes-- T he y u se d t o t i e y o u u p

MIMI'I t s a l iv in g

( .)MIMI douses the flame againROGER

'I d i dn t reco g ni z e yo uWithout the handcuffs

MIMIWe c o ul d l i gh t t h e c a nd l e

( .)ROGER discreetly blows out the candleMIMI

, ' ?O h w ha t d y ou d o w i th m y c a nd leROGER

T ha t w as m y l as t m at c hMIMI

' ,O ur e y es l l a dj us t t ha nk G od f or t he m oo nROGER

'M ay be i t s n ot t he m oo n a t a ll'I h ea r S pi ke L ee s s h oo t in g d ow n t he s t re et

17MIMI

. . .Bah humbug Ba h humbug( ,MIMI places her hand under his pretending to do it by

.)accidentROGER


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Cold handsMIMI

. Yours too. 'B ig L ik e m y f at he r s

? You wanna danceROGER

?W it h yo u

MIMI--No with my father

ROGER'I m R og er

MIMI T h ey c a ll me T h ey c a ll me Mi mi

( . They come extremely close to a kiss MIMI reaches into his, ,p oc ke t n ab s t he s ta sh w av es i t i n

, .)f ro nt o f h i s f ac e a nd m ak es a s ex y e xi t#2V OI C E MA IL

( ' . . JOANNE s loft In blackout another phone rings We see.)MA UR EEN i n si l ho u et t e

MAUREEN

. ' .H i Yo u v e r ea ch ed M a ur e en a nd J oa nn e L ea v e a m es s ag e a nd' --don t forget Over the Moon My

, (p er f or ma nc e p ro te s ti ng t he e vi c ti on o f t h e H om e le s s a nd) .a r ti s ts f ro m t h e E le v en th S tr e et L ot

. Ton ig ht a t m id ni gh t i n t he l ot b e tw ee n A a nd B P ar t y a t L i fe. ( !)C af e to fo ll ow B ee ep

.M R J E FF E RS ON, -- 'Well Joanne We re off

I t ri ed y ou a t t he o ff ic e'A nd t h ey sa i d yo u re st a ge ma na g i ng o r so met hi n g

.MR S J EF FER S ONR emi nd h er t h at t h ose u n wed mo th ers i n Ha rlem

N ee d h er l e ga l h el p t o o.M R J E FF E RS ONC al l D ai s y f or o ur i t in er a ry o r A lf re d a t P ou nd R id ge

18O r E i le e n a t t he s t at e d ep ar t me nt i n a p i nc h' 'We l l b e a t t he s pa f or n ew y ea r s

U n less t h e sena t or c h an g es h i s mi nd.MR S J EF FER S ON The hearings.M R J E FF E RS ON

--Oh yes Kitt en'Mu mmy s c o nf i rma ti o n h eari n g b egi n s o n t h e t en th

' -- --We ll need you alone by the sixth.MR S J EF FER S ON

!Harold.M R J E FF E RS ON

? You hear that'I t s t hr e e w ee ks a wa y

'A nd sh e s a l rea dy n ervo us.MR S J EF FER S ON

!I a m n o t.M R J E FF E RS ON

' ,F or M um my s s ak e K it t en. . .N o D o c M ar t en s t hi s t i me a nd w ea r a d re s s

, --Oh and Kitten have a merry


13/63

.MR S J EF FER S ON!A n d a b r a

4 ( ) TODAY U The loft( ' .)MARK and ROGER s loftMARK

, , , ,En ter T om C o ll i n s c o mp u ter g en iu s t eac h er va ga b on d a n arc hi st w ho ra n n aked t h ro ug h t h e

.Parthenon( ' , .)COLLINS carries ANGEL s pickle tub now filled with provisions

&MARK COL LI NS--Bustelo Marlboro

B an an a b y t he b un chA b ox o f C ap ta i n C r u nc h w il l t a st e s o g oo d

COLLINSAnd firewood

19MARK

-- 'Look it s Santa ClausCOLLINS

Ho ld yo ur a p pl a useROGER

O h h iCOLLINS" " ?Oh hi after seven monthsROGERSorryCOLLINS

T hi s b oy c ou ld u se s o me S to l i, &COL LI NS M ARK ROGER

O h h ol y n ig htROGER

? Yo u st ru c k g o ld a t MI TCOLLINS

T h ey expel led me f o r my t h eo ry o f A ct u a l R ea li t y'W hi c h I ll s o on i mp ar t

To t h e c o uc h p o ta t o es a t N ew Yo rk U n iversit y' ?S ti l l h av e n t l ef t t he h ou se

ROGER, ' ?I w as w ai ti ng f or y ou d on t y ou k no w

COLLINS, 'We ll t o ni gh t s t he n ig ht

'C om e t o t he L if e C af e a ft e r M a ur e en s s ho wROGER

N o f l owCOLLINS

,G ent l emen o u r b en efa c t or o n t h i s C h ri st ma s Eve,W ho se c ha r it y i s o nl y m at c he d b y t al e nt I b el i ev e

-A n ew m em be r o f t he A lp ha be t C it y a va nt g ar de!Angel Dumott Schunard

( . ' ,ANGEL sashays in He s gorgeously done up in Santa drag with -a f an o f t w ent y d ol la r b il ls i n

. )ea ch h a nd20ANGEL

-- Toda y f or y ou t om or row f or me-- Toda y f or y ou t om or row f or me

COLLINS!A nd y ou s h ou ld h ea r h er b ea t


14/63

MARK? Yo u ea rn ed t h is o n t h e st reet

ANGELI t w as m y l uc ky d ay t od a y o n Av en ue A

W he n a l ad y i n a l im ou s in e d ro ve m y w a y, " -- -- 'She said Darling be a dear haven t slept in a year

' "I n ee d y o ur h el p t o m ak e m y n ei gh bo r s y a pp y d og d is ap pe ar

" - ' This Akita Evita just won t shut up-I b el ie ve i f y ou p la y n on s to p t ha t p up

-W il l b re at he i ts v er y l as t h ig h s t ru ng b re at h' "I m c er t ai n t ha t c ur w il l b ar k i t se l f t o d ea t h


--We agr ee d o n a fe e A th ous and do ll ar gu ar ant ee- -- Tax f ree and a bonus if I tr im he r treeN ow w ho c ou ld f or e te ll t ha t i t w ou ld g o s o w el lB u t s u r e a s I a m h e r e t h a t d o g i s n o w i n d o g g y h e l l

-- --After an hour Evita in all her glory23O n the w in dow l edg e of t ha t r d st or y

&L ik e T he lm a L ou is e d id w he n t he y g ot t h e b lue sS wa n d ov e i nt o t he c o ur t ya rd o f t he G ra c ie M ew s


( .)ANGEL does a drum and dance solo T he n b ac k t o t he s tr ee t w he re I m et m y s we e tW he re h e w as m oa ni ng a nd g ro an in g o n t he c ol d c on cr e te

T h e n u rse t o o k h i m h o me f o r so me merc uro ch romeA nd I d re s se d h is w ou nd s a nd g ot h im b ac k o n h is f e et

!S i ng i t-- Toda y f or y ou t om or row f or me-- Toda y f or y ou t om or row f or me-- Toda y f or y ou t om or row f or me-- Toda y f or y ou t om or row f or me

'YOU LL SEE( .)BENNY enters21BENNY

-- J oy t o t he w or l d, -- , ,Hey you bum yeah you move overG et y o ur a s s o f f t ha t r a ng e r ov er

MARK T ha t a t t it u de t o wa rd t h e h o mel ess i s exac t l y w ha t Ma ureen i s

. ( ,p ro te s ti ng t o n ig ht t o a u di e nc e) :h ol di ng c am er a u p t o B E N NY C l os e u p B en ja mi n C o ff in t he

, -t hi rd o ur e x r oo mm at e w h o, --m ar ri ed Al is on Gr ey o f t he We st po rt Gr ey s t he n b ou gh t t he

b ui l di ng a nd t he l ot n ex t d oo r- - - .f ro m h i s f at he r i n l a w i n h o p es o f s t a rt i ng a c yb e r s t ud io

BENNYMaureen is protesting

Lo si n g h er p erfo rma n ce sp ac eN o t my a t t it u de

ROGERW ha t h a pp ened t o B enn yW ha t h a pp ened t o h i s h eart

?A nd t he i de a ls h e o nc e p ur s ue dBENNY

T he o wn er o f t ha t l ot n ex t d oo r


15/63

H a s a r i g h t t o d o w i t h i t a s h e p l e a s e sCOLLINS

, !Ha pp y b i rt hd a y J esusBENNY

The rentMARK

' You re wasting your time

ROGER'We re broke

MARK--And you br oke your wor d this is abs ur d

BENNY' T he re i s o ne w ay y o u w o n t h av e t o p ay

ROGER!I k n e w i t

BENNY, ,Ne xt d oo r t he h om e o f C y be ra rt s y ou s ee

22-A nd n ow t ha t t he b lo ck i s r e z on ed

O ur d re am c an b ec om e a r ea li t y' You ll see boys

' You ll see boys, ,A s t at e o f t h e a r t d ig it a l v i rt ua l i n t er a ct i ve s t ud io

'I l l f or e go y o ur r en t a nd o n p ap er g ua r an te e T ha t y o u c a n s t ay h er e f or f re e

I f y o u d o m e o n e s ma ll f av orMARK

?WhatBENNY

C o nvi nc e Ma ureen t o c a nc el h er p rot estMARK

W hy n ot j us t g et a n i nj un ct i on o r c al l t he c op sBENNY

, 'I d id a nd t he y r e o n s ta nd b yB u t my i n vest ors w o ul d ra t her

I h a nd l e t h i s q u iet l yROGER

'Yo u c a n t q ui et l y w ip e o ut a n e nt ir e t e nt c i ty' ' ' ! T he n w at ch I t s a Won de rf ul L if e o n T V

BENNY? Yo u w a n t t o p rod u ce f i l ms a n d w rit e so ng s

! Yo u n eed so mew here t o d o i t'I t s w ha t w e u se d t o d re am a bo ut

- T hi nk t w ic e b ef or e y ou p oo h p oo h i t' You ll see boys' You ll see boys' -- You ll se e t he beaut y of a st udi o T ha t l e ts u s d o o ur w or k a nd g et p ai dW it h c o nd os o n t h e t op

W ho se r en t k ee ps o pe n o ur s ho p J u st st o p t h e p rot est

'A nd y ou l l h av e i t m ad e' -- ' You ll see or you ll pack

( .)BENNY exitsANGEL

T ha t b o y c o ul d u se so me p ro z acROGER

Or h eavy d ru gs


16/63

23MARK

Or g rou p h u gsCOLLINS

--W hi c h remi n ds meWe h av e a d et o ur t o m ak e t o ni gh t

A ny o ne w ho w an ts t o c an c om e a lo ng

ANGEL'L i fe s up po r t s a g ro up f or p eo pl e c op in g w it h l i fe

'Yo u d o n t h av e t o s t ay t o o l on gMARK

'Fi rs t I v e g ot a p ro te s t t o s a veANGEL

?RogerROGER' 'I m n ot m uc h c om pa ny y o u l l f i nd

MARK!Behave

ANGEL' -- 'H e l l ca tc h up l at er H e s j us t go o the r th ing s on h is m in d' You ll see boys

&MARK COL LI NS'We ll s e e b oy s

ROGER!L e t i t b e b o y s

COLLINSI l ik e b oy s

ANGELB oy s l ik e m e

ALL' .We ll see

: TANGO MAUREEN( . The lot JOANNE is reexamining the cable connections for the

.)umpteenth timeMARK24

. .A nd s o i n to t he a by ss T he l ot W he re a s ma ll s ta ge i s p a rt ia ll y.s et u p

JOANNE( )playing with some wires" ". . .Line in

?I w en t t o H ar v ar d f or t hi sMARK

' .C l ose o n Ma rk s n o sed iveJOANNE" ". . .Line outMARK

. . .?W il l h e g et o ut o f h er e a li v e( .) JOANNE notices MARK approaching

JOANNE?Mark

MARK.Hi

JOANNEI t o l d h e r n o t t o c a l l y o u

MARK'That s Maureen

'B ut c an I h el p s in ce I m he re


17/63

JOANNE. . .I h ir e d a n e ng i ne e r

MARK!Great

,We ll n ic e t o h av e m e t y o uJOANNE

!Wait

'S he s t hr ee h ou r s l a te' T h e sa mpl es w o n t d ela y

--B ut t he c ab leMARK

'T h ere s a n ot h er w a y--Sa y s omet hing anyt hi ng

( ) J OA NN E i nt o t h e m i ke25

-- , . . . Test one t wo threeMARK

A n yt h i ng b u t t h atJOANNE

T h is i s w eirdMARK

'I t s w ei rdJOANNE

Very weirdMARK

Really weirdJOANNE'I m s o m ad

'T ha t I d on t k no w w ha t t o d oFighting with microphonesFreez i ng d o wn t o my b o nes

A n d t o t o p i t a l l o f f 'I m w it h y ou

MARK?F eel l i ke g o in g i n san e

?G ot a f ir e i n y our b ra in' ?A nd yo u re t h in ki ng o f d ri nki ng g a sol i ne

JOANNE--A s a m a t t e r o f f a c t

MARK,H on ey I k no w t hi s a c t

' ' 'I t s c a ll e d t he Ta ng o M au re e n The Tango Maureen

' , - -I t s a d ar k d iz zy m er r y g o r ou ndA s s he k ee ps y ou d an gl i ng

JOANNE'You re wrong

MARK Yo ur h eart sh e i s ma ng l i ng

JOANNE'I t s d i ff er e nt w it h m e

26MARK

A nd y ou t o ss a nd y ou t ur n'Cause her cold eyes can burn

Yet yo u yearn a n d yo u c h urn a n d rebo u ndJOANNEI t hi nk I k no w w h at y ou m ea n


18/63

BOTH The Tango Maureen

MARKH as s he e v er p o ut e d h er l i ps

' 'A nd c al le d y o u P oo ki eJOANNENever

MARK?H av e y o u e v er d ou bt e d a k i ss o r t wo

JOANNE T h is i s sp oo ky

?D id y o u s w oo n w he n s he w al ke d t hr o ug h t he d oo rMARK

--Every time so be cautiousJOANNE

--?D id s he m oo n o ve r o th er b oy sMARK

--More t h an mo onJOANNE'I m g ett i n g n a useo us( , .) They begin to dance with MARK leading

MARK' ?W he re d y o u l e ar n t o t a ng o

JOANNE'W it h t h e F renc h A mba ssa do r s d a ug h ter i n h er d o rm ro om a t

' . ?M is s P or te r s A nd y ouMARK

, ' ,W it h N an et t e H im m el fa r b t he r a bb i s d au gh te r a t t he S ca r sd al e. Jewish Community Center

( , .) They switch and JOANNE leads27MARK' .I t s h ar d t o d o t h is b ac kw ar ds

JOANNE! Yo u sh o ul d t ry i t i n h eels

She cheatedMARK

She cheatedJOANNE

Maureen cheatedMARK

Maureen cheatedJOANNE'I m d efea t edI s ho ul d g i ve u p r i gh t n ow

MARKG ot t a l oo k o n t he b r ig ht s i de

W it h a ll o f y ou r m ig htJOANNE'I d f al l f or h er s t il l a ny ho w

BOTH'W hen yo u re d a nc i ng h er d a nc e

' Yo u d o n t st a nd a c h an c eHer g ri p o f ro ma n ceMake yo u f a ll

MARK, " "So y ou t hi nk M ig ht a s we ll

JOANNE


19/63

" "Dance a tango to hellBOTH" ' "At least I ll have tangoed at all

The Tango MaureenG ot t a d an ce t i ll y ou r d iv a i s t hr ou gh

Yo u p ret end t o b el ieve h er-- 'Caus e i n t he end you can t lea ve he r

B ut t he e nd i t w il l c om eS ti l l y o u h av e t o p la y d um b

'T il l y o u r e g lu m a nd y o u b um28

A nd t u rn b l ueMARK

' ?W hy d o w e l ov e w he n s he s m ea nJOANNE

A nd s he c an b e s o o bs c en eMARK

Try the mikeJOANNE

( : , , . . . )M y M aur ee n r ev er b e en e en e enMARK

PatchedJOANNEThanksMARK

-- ! You k now I fee l great nowJOANNEI f ee l l o us y( . .) The pay phone rings MARK hands it to JOANNE

, ' . . . ? . , 'H one y we r e Poo ki e You ne ve r ca ll m e P ook ie For ge t it we r e.patched

( , .)She hangs up looks at MARKBOTH

! The Tango MaureenLIFE SUPPORT

( . ,ANGEL and COLLINS attend an AIDS Life Support group PAUL ,t he s up po r t l e ad er s i ts o n

. ,t he d ow ns t ag e r a i li ng a b ov e G OR DO N o ne o f t h e m e m be r s o f ,t h e g rou p i s st a n di n g d o wn st ag e

, . ,l ef t f a ci ng t h e a u d ie nc e A s t h e m e mb er s e n t er t he y i n tr od uc e.t h emselves a n d f o rm a semic i rc l e

:N ot e T he n am e s o f t he s up po r t g ro up m em be r s s ho ul d c ha ng eevery n i gh t a n d sh o u l d h o n o r

. )a ct ua l f r ie n ds o f t he c om pa ny w ho h av e d ie d o f A I DSSTEVE

.SteveGORDON

.GordonALI29

.Al iPAM

.Pa mSU E

.Su eANGEL

, ' .H i I m A nge lCOLLINS


20/63

. . Tom CollinsPAUL' . ' .I m Pa ul L et s b eg in

ALL'T h ere s o n ly u s' . . .T h ere s o n ly t h is

( .)MARK blusters in noisily

MARK. . . . . .S or ry e xc us e me o op s

PAUL?A nd y ou a r e

MARK-- ' --Oh I m not

' --I m j us t h er e t o' --I d on t h av e

' --I m h er e w it h--Um Mark-- 'Mark I m Mark--Well t his is quit e a n oper at ion

PAULS i t d o w n Ma rk

'We ll c o nt i n ue t h e a f f irmat i o nALL

,F or ge t r e gr e t o r l i f e i s y ou rs t o m i s sGORDON

-- 'Ex cu se m e Pa ul I m ha vi ng a pr ob le m wi th t his-- - -- This credo My T cells are low

30, ?I r eg re t t h at n ew s o ka y

PAULA l l ri g ht

- ?B ut G or do n H ow do yo u fe el t od ayGORDON

?W ha t d o y o u m e a nPAUL

?H ow d o y o u f e el t od ayGORDONOkayPAUL

?I s t ha t a llGORDON

'B es t I ve f el t a ll y ea rPAUL

? T h en w h y c h oo se f ea rGORDON' !I m a N ew Yor ke r

' !Fe ar s m y l i fe-L oo k I f i nd s ome o f w ha t yo u te ac h sus pe ct

'B ec au se I m u se d t o r el yi ng o n i nt e ll e ct'B ut I t ry t o o pe n u p t o w ha t I d on t k no w

& ( )GO RDO N RO GER w ho si ng s fr om hi s l oftB ec au se r ea s on s a ys I s h ou ld h av e d ie d

T hree years a g oALL

N o o t her roa dN o o t he r w ayN o d ay b ut t od ay

( ' )O UT T ON IG H T M i mi s a pa r tm e nt


21/63

MIMI' ?W ha t s t he t i me'We ll i t s g ot ta b e c lo s e t o m i dn ig ht

'M y b od y s t a lk i ng t o m e, " "I t sa ys T im e for d an ge r"I t s ays I wa nna c omm it a c ri me

Wa nn a b e t he c au se o f a f i gh t

31Wa nn a p ut o n a t i gh t s k ir t a nd f l ir t

"W it h a st ran g er'I v e h ad a k na ck f ro m w ay b ac kA t b re ak i ng t he r ul es o nc e I l ea rn t he g am es

- 'Get up li fe s too quickI kn ow so mep l ac e si c k

'W he re t hi s c hi ck ll d an ce i n t h e f l am es'We d on t n ee d a ny m on ey

I a lw ay s g et i n f or f re e Yo u c a n g et i n t o o

I f y o u g e t i n w i t h m e'L et s g o o ut t on ig ht

I h a v e t o g o o u t t o n i g h t

? You wanna play'L e t s r u n a w a y

' 'We w on t b e b ac k b ef or e i t s C hr i st m as d ay( ) Take me o u t t o ni g ht meo w

'I n t he e ve ni ng I v e g ot t o r oa m'C an t s l ee p i n t he c it y o f n e on a nd c hr om eFe el s t o o d am n m uc h l ik e h om eW hen t h e S p a n i sh b a bi es c ry'S o l e t s f in d a b ar

S o d ar k w e f or ge t w ho w e a reA nd a ll t he s ca r s f r o m t h e

N evers a n d ma yb es d i e'L et s g o o ut t on ig ht

H av e t o g o o ut t o ni gh t' You re sweet

?Wa nn a h i t t h e st reet?Wa nn a w ai l a t t he m oo n l ik e a c at i n h ea t

J u st t a ke me o ut t o n ig h t( 'MIMI makes her way to ROGER s door and ends the song in

.)f ro nt o f h imP l ease t a ke me o ut t o n ig h t

' --Don t for sake me out toni ght' --I l l let you take me out tonight

-- -- Tonight tonight tonightANOTHER DAY

( . , .) The loft MIMI plants a huge kiss on ROGER who recoilsROGER

?W ho d o y ou t hi nk y o u a r eB ar gi ng i n o n m e a n d m y g u i ta r

32--Little girl hey

T he d oo r i s t ha t w ay Yo u b et t er g o yo u kn ow

' T h e f i re s o u t a n yw a y-- Take y ou r p ow de r t ak e y ou r c an dl e

Your sweet whisper'I j us t c a n t h an dl e


22/63

Wel l t a ke yo u r h a ir i n t h e mo on l ig h t-- , Your br ow n e ye s g oo db ye g oo dn ig ht

I s ho ul d t el l y ou I s ho ul d t el l y ou-- !I should tell you I should no

--Anot her t ime anot her plac eOu r t empera t ure w o ul d c l imb

' T h ere d b e a l o ng embra c e

'We d d o a n ot h er d a nc e'I t d b e a no t he r p la y

?Looking for romanceC o me b a ck a n ot h er d a y

Another dayMIMI

T he h ea r t m a y f re e ze o r i t c an b ur n T he p ai n w il l e as e i f I c a n l e ar n

T h ere i s n o f u tu re T h ere i s n o p a st

I l iv e t hi s m om en t a s m y l as t'T h ere s o n ly u s'T h ere s o n ly t h isForget regret

O r l if e i s y ou rs t o m is sN o o t her roa dN o o t he r w ayN o d ay b ut t od ay

( .)Lights slowly fade up on the Life Support group&MIMI OTHERS'I c an t c on tr ol

My d est i n yI t r u s t m y s o u l

M y o nl y g oa l-- .. .Is just to be

ROGERC o nt rol yo ur t emp er

'S he d oe s n t s e e' ?W ho s a ys t ha t t h er e s a s ou l

. . . J us t l e t m e b e33ALL

'T h ere s o n ly n o w'T h ere s o n ly h ere

G i v e i n t o l o v eO r l iv e i n f ea rN o o t he r p at hN o o t he r w ay

. . .N o d ay b ut t od ayROGER

?W ho d o y ou t hi nk y o u a r eB ar gi ng i n o n m e a n d m y g u i ta r

,L it t le g i rl h ey T he d oo r i s t ha t w ay

' T h e f i re s o u t a n yw a yALL

N o d ay b ut t od ayN o d ay b ut t od ayN o d ay b ut t od ayN o d ay b ut t od ay

ROGER


23/63

, Take yo u r p o wd er t a ke yo ur c a nd l e, , Tak e y o ur b ro wn e y es y o ur p re tt y s m il e y ou r s i lh ou et t e

,A n ot h er t i me a n ot h er p l ac e,A no th er r hy me a w ar m e mb r ac e,A n ot h er d a n c e a n ot h er w a y,A n ot h er c h an c e a n ot h er d a y

ALL

N o d ay b ut t od ay( . ,MIMI and the Life Support group members exit One person

, ,S TE V E r em ai ns a t s t ag e r i g ht. )above?W I L L I

( )Various locationsSTEVE

W il l I l os e m y d ig ni t yW il l so meo n e c a reW il l I w ake t o mo rro w

?From this nightmare#1GROUP

34W il l I l os e m y d ig ni t y

W il l so meo n e c a reW il l I w ake t o mo rro w







?From this nightmare( .)ROGER puts on his jacket and exits the loft

O N T H E S TR E ET THREE HOMELESS PEOPLE

C h ri st ma s b el ls a re ri n gi n gC h ri st ma s b el ls a re ri n gi n g

--C h ri st ma s b el ls a re ri n gi n gO ut o f t o wn

S a nt a F eSQUEEGEEMAN

, !H on es t l i v in g m an( ' .)He recoils as though he s almost been run over by a car

!Feliz Navidad( , , Three POLICE OFFICERS in full riot gear enter and approach

.sleeping BLANKET PERSON. ) T h e F I R S T OF F IC ER p okes h er w i th a n i gh t sti c k

HOMELESS PERSON,Eveni n g o f f ic ers

( ,Without answering the FIRST OFFICER raises his nightstick .)again


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35( )M AR K p oi nt i ng h is c am e ra

, !S mil e f o r Ted Kop pel Of fi c er Ma rt i n( .) The FIRST OFFICER lowers his stick

HOMELESS PERSONA nd a M er r y C hr i st m as t o y ou r f am i ly

POLICE OFFICERS

!Right( . The POLICE OFFICERS stride offstage MARK continues to film

.)BLANKET PERSON( )B L AN KE T P ER SO N T o M AR K

?W h o t h e h e l l d o y o u t h i n k y o u a r e'I d on t n ee d n o g od da m n h e l pFrom so me b l eed i ng h eart c a mera ma n

'M y l if e s n ot f or y ou t o!M ak e a n am e f o r y ou rs e lf o n

ANGEL, ,E as y s ug ar e as y

--H e w as j us t t ry in g t oBLANKET PERSON

J us t t r yi ng t o u se m e t o k il l h is g ui l t

' ,I t s n ot t ha t k in d o f m ov ie h on ey' -- . ,Le t s g o t hi s lo t is f ul l of s el f ri gh te ous a rt is ts H ey a rt is t

?yo u g o tt a d o ll a rI t h ou g ht n o t(BLANKET PERSON crosses to downstage left with another

.)HOMELESS PERSONSANTA FE

( .) The StreetANGEL

--N ew Yo rk C i t yMARK

U h h uhANGEL

C ent er o f t h e u n iverseCOLLINS

--S in g i t g ir l36ANGEL

Times are gritty' 'B ut I m p re tt y s ur e t he y c a n t g et w or s e

MARKI h e a r y o u

ANGEL'I t s a c om fo rt t o k no w

' - -W he n y ou r e s i ng in g t he h it t he r oa d b lu es T ha t a n ywh ere el se yo u c o ul d p o ssi b ly g oA ft er N ew Yo rk w o ul d b e a p l ea sure c ru ise

COLLINS'N o w yo u re t a l ki n g

, 'We ll I m t hw ar t ed b y a m et a ph ys i c p uz zl e' --And I m s ick of gr ading pape rs that I k now' ,A nd I m s ho ut in g i n m y s l e ep I ne ed a m uz zl e

,A ll t hi s m i se ry p ay s n o s al ar y s o'L et s o pe n u p a r es t au ra nt i n S an ta FeO h s un ny S an ta Fe w ou ld b e n ic e'L et s o pe n u p a r es t au ra nt i n S an ta FeA nd l ea v e t h i s t o t h e r o a ch es a nd m ic e


25/63

COLLINS--Oh oh

ALL--Oh

ANGEL? You teach

COLLINS

--I t ea ch C om pu te r A ge P hi lo sop hyB ut m y s t ud e nt s w ou ld r a th er w at c h T V

ANGELAmericaALL

!AmericaCOLLINS

' You re a sensitive aestheteB ru s h t he s a uc e o nt o t he m ea t

Yo u c o u l d make t h e menu sp arkl e w i t h rh yme Yo u c o u l d d rum a g ent l e d rum

37I c ou ld s ea t g ue s ts a s t he y c om e

, !C h at t i ng n o t a b o ut Hei deg ger b u t w i n e

( )C OL L IN S w it h H OM EL E SS P EO P LE i n t he s ha do ws'L et s o pe n u p a r es t au ra nt i n S an ta FeOu r l a b ors w o ul d reap f i na n ci a l g a in s

ALL, ,G ai ns g ai ns g ai ns

COLLINS'We l l o pe n u p a r es t au r an t i n S an ta F eA nd sa ve f ro m d eva st at i o n o u r b ra in s

HOMELESSS a ve o u r b ra in s

ALL'We l l p ac k u p a ll o ur j unk a nd f ly s o f ar a wa y

D evo t e o u rsel ves t o p roj ec ts t h at sel l'We l l o pe n u p a r es t au r an t i n S an ta F e

F org et t h is c o l d B o h emia n h el l--Oh

ALL--Oh

COLLINS?D o y o u k no w t h e w ay t o S an ta Fe

, . . . .. . Yo u kno w t u mb l ew eed s p ra iri e d o g sYeah'I LL C OVER Y OU

MARK' . ' .I l l m ee t y ou a t t he s ho w I l l t ry a nd c on vi nc e R og er t o g o( )MARK exitsANGEL

.A lo ne a t l as tCOLLINS

' -- .He ll be back I guaranteeANGEL' .I ve b ee n h ea r in g v i ol i ns a l l n ig ht

COLLINS38

? ?A ny th ing t o d o w it h m e Ar e w e a t hi ngANGEL

. . . ' !D ar li ng w e r e e ve ry th in g


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L i v e i n m y h o u s e'I l l b e y ou r s he l te r

J us t p ay m e b ac kW it h o n e t h ou sa nd ki sses

-- 'Be my lover I ll cover youCOLLINS

Op en yo ur d o or

'I l l b e y ou r t e na nt'D o n t g o t mu ch b a gg a ge

To l a y a t yo ur f eet'B ut s we e t k i ss e s I v e g ot t o s pa re

' -- 'I l l be there I l l cover youBOTHI t hi nk t he y m ea nt i t

'W he n t he y s a id y o u c a n t b uy l o veN o w I k n o w y o u c a n r e n t i t

, ,A ne w l ea se y ou ar e m y l ov e--On life all my life

'I ve l on ge d t o d is c ov erS om e th in g a s t r ue a s t h is i s

COLLINS

S o w it h a t ho us a nd s we et k is s es'I l l c ov er y o u

ANGEL'I f y ou re c ol d

'A nd yo u re l o nel yCOLLINS

W it h a t h ou sa nd sw eet ki sses'I l l c ov er y o u

ANGEL' Yo u ve g o t o n e n i ckel o n ly

COLLINS'W he n y ou r e w or n o ut

a n d t i redANGEL39

W it h a t h ou sa nd sw eet ki sses'I l l c ov er y o u

COLLINSW hen yo ur h eart h a s expi red

ANGELW it h a t h ou sa nd sw eet ki sses

'I l l c ov er y o uBOTH

'O h l ov er I ll c ov er y ou'O h l ov er I ll c ov er y ou

'W E R E OKA YJOANNE( )on cellular phone

--Steve Joanne? T h e Mu rg et c a se

!A d i smi ssalG o od w o rk c o un selo r

( . The pay phone rings JOANNE answers it and begins aconversation with MAUREEN

. )si mul t a neo usl y j u gg l i ng t w o o t her c a ll s o n h er c el lu l ar p h on e'We re o kay

-- !Honeybear wait


27/63

'I m o n t he o t he r p ho ne, Yes I h av e t he c ow be l l'We re o kay

( )into cellular phone'S o t el l t he m w e l l s ue

B ut a s e tt l em en t w il l d o--Se xua l ha ra ss me nt a nd c iv il ri gh ts to o

, 'S te ve y ou r e g re at( )into pay phone

N o y o u c ut t he p ap er p la t e?D i d j a c h e a t o n M a r k a l o t w o u l d y o u s a y

'We re o kay. . .H on ey h ol d o n

( )into cellular phone, . . .S te ve h ol d o n

( - ) JOANNE presses the call waiting button on the cellular phone?Hello--Dad yes

I b ee pe d y o u'Ma ureen i s c o mi n g t o Mo th er s h eari n g

'We re o kay

( )into pay phone40

- ?H one ybe ar w ha t'N ewt s l esbi a n si ster

'I l l t el l t he m( )into cellular phone

? You heard( )into pay phone

They heard'We re o kay

( )into cellular phoneA n d t o y o u d a d

( - JOANNE presses the call waiting as she speaks into the pay)phone

-- ? Yes Jil l is there( )into cellular phone

--S t eve g o tt a( )into pay phone

? J i l l w i t h t h e sh o rt b l ac k h a ir? T h e C a lvi n Kl ein mo del

( )into cellular phone, !S te ve g ot ta g o

( )into pay phone?T he m od el w ho l i ve s i n P en th ou se A

'We re'We re o kay

'I m o n m y w ay( , . )C HR I ST MA S B E LL S V ar i ou s l o ca t io ns S t M ar ks P la ce

F I VE HOMELESS P EOP LEC h ri st ma s b el ls a re ri n gi n gC h ri st ma s b el ls a re ri n gi n gC h ri st ma s b el ls a re si n gi n g

-On TV at SaksSQUEEGEEMAN

,Ho nest l i vi ng h o nest l i vi ng,Ho nest l i vi ng h o nest l i vi ng,Ho nest l i vi ng h o nest l i vi ng


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A LL F I VE HOMELESS'C an t y ou s pa re a d im e o r t woH er e b ut f or t he g ra ce o f G od g o y o u

' You ll be merry'I ll b e m er ry

' T h o merry a i n t i n my vo ca b ul a ryNo sleighbells

N o S a nt a C l a usN o y u l e l o gN o t i nselN o h o ll y

41N o h eart h

NoSOLOIST

R ud o lp h t h e red n osed rein d eerA LL F I VE

R ud o lp h t h e red n osed rein d eer--No room at the Holiday Inn oh no

( .)A few flakes of snow begin to descend'A nd i t s b eg in ni ng t o s no w

( ! . ' The stage suddenly explodes with life The scene is St Mark s--Place on Christmas Eve an

- , , .o pe n a ir b az aa r o f c o lo r n oi se m ov em en t L ig ht s u p o n o ne,w om an w ho i s s ho wi ng o ff a

. )c o ll ect i o n o f st o len c o at s t o C OLLI N S a n d A N GELVENDOR

--H ow a bo ut a f urI n p erfec t sh ap e

O wn ed b y a n M BA f ro m u pt ow nI g o t a t w e e d

B ro ke n i n b y a g re ed yB roker w ho w ent b roke

A nd t h en b roke d o wnCOLLINS

'Yo u d o n t h av e t o d o t hi sANGEL

, 'H us h y o ur m ou t h i t s C hr i st ma sCOLLINS

,I d o n ot d es er ve y ou A ng elCOLLINS

--Give giveA ll y ou d o

I s g iv eG i v e m e s o m e w a y t o s h o w

'H ow m uc h y ou v e t o uc he d m e s oANGEL

-- ' ?Wait w ha t s o n t he f lo or' . . .L e t s s e e s o m e m o r e-- -- .. .No no no

-- 'Honey it s be ginni ng t o s now42( .)Lights focus on MARK and ROGER on right aboveMARK. . . , " "She said Would you light my candle

A nd s he p ut o n a p outA nd s he w an te d y o u

? To t a ke h er o u t t o ni g ht


29/63

ROGERRightMARK

!S h e g o t y o u o u tROGER

S he w as m or e t ha n o ka yB ut I p us h ed h er a wa y

--It was bad I got madA n d I h a d t o g e t h e r o u t o f m y s i g h t

MARK, , --Wait wait wait you said she was sweet

ROGER' -- 'Let s go eat I l l just get fat

' 'I t s t he o ne v ic e l ef t w he n y ou r e d e ad m ea t( .)MIMI has entered looking furtively for THE MAN

-- ' There that s herMARK

?MaureenROGER

!MimiMARK

!WhoaROGER

.I s ho ul d g oBOTH

-- 'Hey it s beginning to snow( , , .) The POLICE OFFICERS in riot gear enter above

POLICE OFFICERS43' ,I m d re am i ng o f a w hi t e r i gh t C hr i st ma s( .)POLICE OFFICERS exit

&MIMI JUNKIE S--Foll ow the man f oll ow t he man

W it h h is p oc ke ts f ul l o f t h e j a m--Foll ow the man f oll ow t he man

,H el p m e o ut d ad dyI f y o u c a n

?G o t a n y D m a n THE MAN

'I m c oo l&MIMI JUNKIE S

?G o t a n y C m a n THE MAN

'I m c oo l&MIMI JUNKIE S

?G o t a n y X?A n y smac k?A n y h orse

?A ny j ug i e b o og i e b oy?A n y b l ow

( .)ROGER pulls MIMI asideROGERHeyMIMIHeyROGERI j us t w an t t o s ay' --I m s or ry f or t he w ay


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MIMIForget it

ROGERI b l e w u p

?C a n I m a k e i t u p t o y o uMIMI

?How

44ROGER

?Dinner partyMIMI

' That l l do THE MAN

--Hey lover boy cutie pie-- You s tea l my cl ient y ou d ie

ROGER' -- ' You didn t m iss m e you won t m is s he r

'Yo u l l n ever l a c k f o r c u st o mersJUNKIES' 'I m w il l in' 'I m i l li n

I g ot t a g e t m y s ic k ne ss o ff ,G ot t a r un g ot ta r i d e, --Gotta gun gotta hide gotta go

ALL'A nd i t s b eg in ni ng t o'A nd i t s b eg in ni ng t o' --A nd i t s b eg in ni ng t o

(Lights blackout and a blinding headlight comes through the. ,d oo r A s i t r e ac he s d ow ns t ag e t he

. )l i gh t s c o me u p a n d revea l MA U R EENMAUREEN

, ? J oa nn e w hi ch w ay t o t he s t ag eALL

!! !Snow( .)Blackout

( )O VER T H E M OO N T he L otMARK

' .Maureen s performance( .)MAUREEN stands in front of a microphoneMAUREEN

.L as t n ig ht I h ad a d re am I f ou nd m ys el f i n a d es er t c al le d.Cyberland. .I t w as h ot M y c an te en h ad s pr un g a l ea k a n d I w as t hi rs ty

45-- .Out of t he abyss walked a cow Els ie

.I a sk ed i f s he h ad a ny t hi ng t o d ri nk, " ' .S he s ai d I m f or bi dd en t o p ro du ce m il k

, ."I n C y b er l an d w e o n l y d r i nk D ie t C ok e( : , , )reverb Coke Coke Coke

, " "Sh e s ai d O nl y t hi ng t o d o i s j um p o ve r t he m oo n" ' . . . , , They ve closed everything real down like barns troughs

.. .performance spaces.A nd r ep la ce d i t a l l w i t h l i es a nd r u le s a nd v ir t ua l l i fe

( : , , )reverb Life Life Life. . ."B u t t h e r e i s a w a y o u t

BACKUPS,L ea p o f f ai th l ea p o f f ai th


31/63

,L ea p o f f ai th l ea p o f f ai thMAUREEN

O nl y t hi ng t o d o i s j um p o ve r t he m oo n! ' 'I g ot ta g et o ut o f h e re I t s l ik e I m b ei ng t ie d

,t o t h e h oo d o f a y el l ow r en ta l t r uc k b ei ng p ac ke d,i n w i t h f e rt i li ze r a nd f ue l o i l p us h ed o ve r a c li f f

! -- 'by a suici da l Mickey Mous e I ve got ta find a way

BACKUPS, .L ea p o f f ai th e tc

MAUREEN To j u mp o ver t h e mo on

O nl y t hi ng t o d o i s j um p o ve r t he m oo nMAUREEN

. ( ) T he n a l it tl e b u ll do g e nt er ed H is n am e w e h a ve l ea rne d w as.Benny

,A nd a l t ho ug h h e o n ce h a d p rin c ip l esh e a b a nd on ed t he m t o l iv e a s a l ap d og t o a w ea l th y d au gh te r

.o f t h e revo l ut i o n" ' ," . That s bull he said" , ' .Ever since the cat took up the fiddle that cow s been jumpy

--A nd t he d is h and t he s po on w er e ev ic te d fr om t he t ab le a nd

.. .eloped' .S he s h ad t ro ub le w it h t ha t m il k a nd t he m oo n e v er s i nc e

' .M ay be i t s a f em al e t hi ng' ' ?. . .Cause who d want to leave Cyberland anyway

' .Wa ll s a in t s o b ad.T he d is h a nd t he s p oo n f or i ns t an ce

- . T he y w er e d ow n o n t he ir l uc k k no ck ed o n m y d og ho us e d oo r, ' , ! !'"I s a id N ot i n m y b ack yar d u te ns il s G o ba ck t o C hi na

" ," . The only way out is up Elsie whispered to me" . ?" .A leap of faith Still thirsty she asked

. " ."Par ch ed H av e s om e m il kI l ow er e d m ys e lf b en ea t h h er a nd h e ld m y m ou t h t o h er s wo l le n

udder' ."A nd s uc ke d t he s we et e st m i lk I d e ve r t as t ed

46( , .)MAUREEN makes a slurping sucking sound" ," .Climb on board she said

,A nd a s a h ar v es t m oo n r os e o ve r C yb er l an d.We r ea re d b ac k a nd s pr a ng i nt o a g al l op

!Leap i ng o u t o f o rbi tI a w oke si ng i n g

BACKUPS, .L ea p o f f ai th e tc

MAUREENO nl y t hi ng t o d oO n l y t h i n g t o d o i s j u m pO nl y t hi ng t o d o i s j um p o ve r t he m oo nO nl y t hi ng t o d o i s j um p o ve r t he m oo n

--Over the moon over theMooooooooMooooooooMooooooooMoooooooo

.M oo w it h m e( . ,MAUREEN encourages the audience to moo with her She says " ' , , ," .C mon sir moo with me etc

. " " , T he a u di en ce r e sp ond s W he n t he m oo s r ea ch a c r es ce nd o s he


32/63

c ut s t he m o ff w it h a b ig s we e p. )o f h er a rm s

.Thank you( .)Blackout

( )LA V I E B OH EM E L if e C a fe( ,Downstage right the PRINCIPALS have lined up and are waiting

.t o b e s e at ed A l ar ge t ab le i s

. , .s i tu at e d d o wn c e nt e r D ow n a n d t o t he r i gh t B E NNY a n d M R G REY a re s e at ed a t a s ma ll e r

. .)t ab le T he R E ST AU RA NT M AN t r ie s t o s ho o o ur f r ie n ds o utRESTAURANT MAN

N o p le a se n oN o t t o n i g ht p l ea se n o

-- ' --Mister can t you go-- 'Not tonig ht ca n t ha ve a s ce ne

ROGER?What

RESTAURANT MAN, --Go p le as e g o-- , -- You Hello sir

47

I s a i d n oImportant customer

MARK-- ?What am I just a blurRESTAURANT MAN

-- ! You s it all nig ht you ne ver buyMARK

' -- ' That s a lie that s a lieI h a d a t e a t h e o t h e r d a y

RESTAURANT MAN' You couldn t pay

MARKO h y e a h

COLLINS-- ?B enj ami n C of fi n t he t hir d h er e

RESTAURANT MAN!O h n o

ALL!W in e a n d b eer

MAUREEN T h e en emy o f A ven ue A'We ll st a y

( .) They sitRESTAURANT MAN

!O y v e yCOLLINS

?W ha t b r in gs t he m og ul i n h is o wn m in d t o t he L i fe C af eBENNYI w ou ld l ik e t o p ro po s e a t oa s t

'To Ma ureen s n o bl e t ryI t w en t w el l

MAUREENG o t o h e l l

BENNY48

Wa s t h e yu pp i e sc um st o mp edN o t c o un t i ng t h e h o mel ess


33/63

'Ho w ma ny t i ckets w eren t c o mpedROGER

--W hy d i d Mu f f yBENNYAlisonROGER

?M is s t he s ho w

BENNY T he re w as a d ea t h i n t he f a mi l y

I f y ou m us t k no wANGEL

?W ho d i edBENNY

Ou r A kit a, , ,B EN NY M AR K A NG EL C OL LI NS

EvitaBENNY

-- 'Mimi I m surprisedA b ri g ht a nd c ha rm in g g ir l l ik e y ou

Ha ng s o u t w i t h t h ese sl a ckers( ' )Who don t adhere to deals

-- ' They make fun yet I m the oneA tt empt i ng t o d o so me g o od

O r d o y o u r ea l ly w an t a n ei gh bo rh oo d?W he re p eo pl e p is s o n y o ur s t oo p e v er y n ig ht

, 'B o hemi a B o hemia sA f al la c y i n y ou r h ea d

T h is i s C a l cu t taB o hemi a i s d ea d

( , The BOHEMIANS immediately begin to enact a mock funeral w i th MA RK d eli verin g t h e" .")eulogyMARK

D ea r ly b el o ve d w e g at he r h er e t o s a y o ur g oo db y es&COL LI NS ROGER--Dies irae dies i lla

49Kyrie eleison

' , . Y it ga da l v y it ka da s h e t cMARK

H er e s he l ie sN o o n e k ne w h er w or t h T h e l a t e g rea t d a ug h ter o f mo th er ea rt h

O n t hi s n ig ht w he n w e c el e br a te t h e b i r t hI n t ha t l it t le t ow n o f B et hl e he m

-- --We r ais e our glas s you bet your ass to( .)MAUREEN flashes hers

L a v i e B oh em eALL

L a v i e B oh em eL a v i e B oh em eL a v i e B oh em eL a v i e B oh em e

MARK To days of inspiration

,P l a yi n g h o o kie ma ki n g so met hi n g o u t o f n o t h i ng-- T h e n eed t o express

, To communicate


34/63


35/63

MARKMucho masturbation

&M AUR EE N C OL LI NS, , 'C om pa ss i on t o f a s hi o n t o p a s si o n w he n i t s n ew

COLLINS To Sontag

ANGEL

To SondheimF OUR P EOP LE

To anything taboo&COL LI NS ROGER, ,G i nsb erg D yla n C u nn i ng h am a n d C ag e

COLLINSLenny Bruce

ROGERLangston Hughes

MAUREEN To the stage

#1PERSON To Uta

#2PERSON

To Buddha#3PERSON

,P ab lo N e r ud a t oo&MARK MIMI

W hy D o ro t hy a n d T ot o w en t o ver t h e ra i nb o w To b l o w o f f A u nt i e Em

ALLL a v i e B oh em e

COLLINSI n h on or o f t he d ea t h o f B oh em i a a n i mp ro mp t u s a l o n w i l l

commence immediately following. . . , ,d in ne r M im i M ar qu ez c la d o nl y i n b ub bl e w ra p w il l p er for m

-h er f a mo u s l a w n c h ai r h a nd c uf f 52

.d an ce t o t he s o un ds o f i ce d t ea b ei ng s t ir re dROGER

Ma rk C o hen w i l l p revi ew h i s n ew d o c u men t ary a b ou t h i s i n ab i l it yt o m ak e a c on ne c ti o n o n h ig h

.h o ly d a ys( .)ROGER picks up an electric guitar and starts to tune itMARK

, -Ma ureen J o h nso n b a ck f rom h er sp ec ta c ul a r o n e n i gh t,en ga g ement a t t h e el event h st reet l o t

W il l si ng N a t ive A meri c an t ri ba l c h an t s b a ckw ard s t h ro u gh h er,vo co d er w h il e a c co mpa n yi n g

-- .he rs el f on t he e le ct ri c ce ll o W hi ch s he ha s ne ve r st ud ie d( ,At this point JOANNE has entered and seen MAUREEN playfully

. .k is s M AR K J OA NN E e x i ts. )B ENN Y p u l ls MI MI a si de

BENNY' ? Yo ur n ew b o yf ri en d d o esn t kn ow a b o ut u s

MIMI' T h ere s n o th i ng t o kn ow

BENNY' --D on t y ou t hi nk t ha t w e s ho ul d d is c us s

MIMII t w as t hr e e m on th s a go


36/63

BENNY' 'H e d oe sn t a ct l ik e h e s w it h y ou

MIMI'We r e t a ki ng i t s l ow

BENNY?W he re i s h e n ow

MIMI

' --He s right hmmBENNY

U h h uhMIMI

' ?W he re d h e g oMARK

, .R og er w il l a t te m pt t o w ri t e a b it t er s we et e vo ca ti v e s o ng (ROGER picks up a guitar and plays53

' .) ' " ' "M us et ta s T he me T ha t d o es n t r em in d u s o f M us et ta s Wa lt zCOLLINS

A ng el D u mo t t S c hu n ard w i ll n o w mo d el t h e l a t est f a l l f a sh i on sfrom Paris while accompanying

10 .he rs el f o n t he g al lo n p la st ic pi ck le tu b

ANGEL--A nd C o ll i ns w i ll reco u nt h i s expl o it s a s a n a n arc hi st

. . .i n cl u di n g t h e su cc essf u l repro gra mmi n g o f t h e M I T vi rt ua lreality equipment

- , : To s e l f d es t r uc t a s i t b ro ad ca s t t he w or dsALL" -- -- "Actual reality Act Up Fight AIDSBENNY

!Check( . .)BENNY exits Lights on MIMI and ROGERMIMI

-- ?Excuse me did I do some thi ng wr ong-- --I get invited then ignored all night long

ROGER' -- 'I ve been trying I m not lying

' . 'N o o ne s p er fe ct I ve g ot b ag ga geMIMI

' , ,L if e s t oo s ho rt b ab e t im e i s f ly in g'I m l oo ki ng f or b ag ga ge t ha t g oe s w it h m in e

ROGER--I s ho ul d t e ll y o u

MIMI'I v e g ot b ag ga ge t o o

ROGERI s ho ul d t e ll y o u

BOTH-- --Baggage wine

OTHERS!A nd b eer

( . .)Several beepers sound Each turns off his or her beeperMIMI54

A Z T b rea k( , , , .)MIMI ROGER ANGEL and COLLINS take pillsROGER

?YouMIMI


37/63

. ?M e YouROGERMimi( ' . They hold hands and stare into each other s eyes lovingly The

.)rest o f t h e c o mp a ny f reez esI S HOU LD T ELL Y OU

ROGER

'I s ho ul d t e ll y o u I m d is a st e rI f o r g e t h o w t o b e g i n i t

MIMI'L et s j us t m ak e t h is p ar t g o f a st e r

--I have yet to be in itI s ho ul d t e ll y o u


MIMII s ho ul d t e ll y o u


MIMII s ho ul d t e ll I b le w t he c an dl e o ut

J us t t o g et b ac k i nROGER'I d f or go t te n h ow t o s mi le

U nt i l y o ur c an dl e b ur ne d m y s k inMIMII s ho ul d t e ll y o u

ROGERI s ho ul d t e ll y o u55MIMII s ho ul d t e ll y o u

BOTHI s ho ul d t e ll

,We ll h er e w e g o--N ow w e

MIMIO h n o

ROGER--I know this something is

--Here g o esMIMI

Here g o esROGER

G ue s s s o'I t s s t ar t in g t o

--Who knowsMIMI

Who knowsBOTH

W ho kn ow s w hereW ho g o es t h ereWho knowsHere g o es

-- Trus ti ng d es ir e s ta rt in g t o l ea rnWa lki ng t h ro ug h f i re w i th o ut a b urn-- ,Cl ingi ng a shoulder a leap begi ns

,S ti ng in g a n d o ld er a s le e p o n p in s


38/63

S o h e r e w e g o--N ow w e

ROGERO h n o

MIMII k no w

ROGER

O h n o56BOTH

--Who knows wher e who g oes t her e--Here goes here goes--Here goes here goes--Here goes here goes

L A V I E B O H E M E B( . , .)ROGER and MIMI exit JOANNE reenters obviously steamedMAUREEN

?A re w e p a ckedJOANNE

Yes a n d b y n ext w eekI w a n t y o u t o b e

MAUREEN?Pookie

JOANNEA nd y ou s h ou ld s ee' They ve padlocked your building

'A nd t he y r e r i ot i ng o n Av en ue BB enn y c a l led t h e c o ps

MAUREEN! That jerk

JOANNE' ' T h ey d o n t kn ow w ha t t h ey re d o in g

T h e c o p s a re sw eepi n g t h e l o t'B ut n o o ne s l e av i ng

' , ! T h ey re j u st si t t i ng t h ere mo oi n gALL

!! !Yea( .)Pandemonium erupts in the restaurantALL

! To danceA G I R L

, , ,N o w ay t o m ak e a l iv in g m as oc hi sm p ai n p er fe ct io n, , , !Mu sc l e spa sms c h iro pra c to rs sh ort c a reers ea t in g d i so rders

57ALL

!FilmMARK

, , , ,A dv en t ur e t e di um n o f am i ly b or i ng l o c at i on s, , , , !D ar k r oo ms p er f ec t f ac es e g os m on ey H ol l yw oo d a nd s l ea ze

ALL!Music

ANGEL, , , ,F oo d o f l o ve e mo ti o n m at he ma t ic s i s ol at i on

, , , , !R hy t hm f ee l in g p ow er h ar m on y a nd h e av y c om pe t it i onALL

!Anarchy&CO LL IN S M AU RE EN, , ,R evo l ut i o n j u sti c e sc rea min g f o r so l u ti o ns


39/63

, ,F or c in g c ha ng es r i sk a nd d a n ge r!Ma ki n g n o ise a n d ma ki n g p l ea s

ALL, , To h om os l es b ia ns c ro ss d re s se r s t o o

MAUREEN To me

MARK

To me&COL LI NS ANGEL

To meALL

, , To y ou a nd y ou a nd y o u y ou a n d y o u, , To p e op le l i vi ng w it h l i vi ng w it h l i vi ng w it h

N o t d yi ng f rom d i sea seL et h e a m on g u s w it h ou t s i nB e t he f ir s t t o c on de m nL a v i e B oh em eL a v i e B oh em eL a v i e B oh em e

MARKA n yo ne o u t o f t h e ma i nst rea m

?I s a n yo n e i n t h e ma i n strea m--A ny one a l iv e w it h a se x dr iv e

58OTHERS

L a v i e b oh em eL a v i e b oh em eL a v i e b oh em e

MARK Tear down the wall' ?A re n t w e a l l

' . . . T h e o p po sit e o f w a r i sn t p eac e' !I t s c rea t i on

ALLL a v i e B oh em e

MARK. . T he r i ot c on ti nu es T he C hr i st ma s t r e e g o es u p i n f la me s T he

. ,s no w d an ce s O bl i vi ou s M im i a n d, .R og er s ha re a s ma l l l o ve l y k i s s

ALL!V iv a l a v ie B oh em e

A ct I I( The COMPANY enters from all directions and forms a line across

.)t he a pr on o f t he s t ag eS EAS ONS OF LOV E

COMPANY-F ive h u nd red t w en t y f i ve t h ou sa nd si x h u nd red mi nu t es-F ive h u nd red t w en t y f i ve t h o u san d si x h u nd red mo men ts so d ear

-F ive h u nd red t w en t y f i ve t h ou sa nd si x h u nd red mi nu t es-- ?How do y ou meas ur e meas ure a year

--In dayl ig hts I n s uns ets--In midni ght s In cups of cof fe e

--In inches In miles--In laughter In strife

-- -I n Fi ve hu nd re d t we nt y f i ve t ho us an d si x hu nd re d m in ut es?H o w d o y o u m e a s u r e a y e a r i n t h e l i f e

?Ho w a b o u t l o ve


40/63

?Ho w a b o u t l o ve?Ho w a b o u t l o ve

Measu re i n l o veS easo ns o f l o veS easo ns o f l o ve

59#1SOLOIST

-F ive h u nd red t w en t y f i ve t h ou sa nd si x h u nd red mi nu t es-F ive h u nd red t w en t y f i ve t h ou sa nd

J o urn eys t o p l a n-F ive h u nd red t w en t y f i ve t h ou sa nd si x h u nd red mi nu t es

H ow d o y o u m e a su re t he l i fe?O f a w o m a n o r a m a n

#2SOLOISTI n t r ut hs t ha t s he l e ar ne dO r i n t im es t ha t h e c ri edI n b ri dg es h e b u rn edO r t he w ay t ha t s he d ie d

ALL' -It s t ime now to sing out

' T ho t he s t or y n e v er e nd s

'Let s c eleb rat eRe me mb er a y ea r i n t he l i fe o f f r ie nd sR ememb er t h e l o veR ememb er t h e l o veR ememb er t h e l o ve

Measu re i n l o ve#1SOLOIST

,M ea su re m ea su re y ou r l i fe i n l o v eS easo ns o f l o veS easo ns o f l o ve

HA PP Y N EW Y EAR( ' .New Year s Eve The scene opens on the street outside the

. ,a pa rt me nt O ne t ab le l yi ng o n i t s, .)e nd s er ve s a s t he d oo r

( )M AR K c ar r yi ng m oc k d o or. ' .P an t o t h e p a dl oc ke d d o o r N ew Ye ar s R oc ki ng E v e T he

- - - -b re ak i ng b ac k i nt o t he b ui l di ng. . .party

( .ROGER and MIMI try in vain to pry a padlock from the door .) T h ey a p pea r t o b e h a pp y

MIMI' ?H ow l on g t il n ex t y ea r

ROGER. . . T hree a n d h a lf mi nu t es

MIMI60'I m g iv in g u p m y v ic es' --I m going back back to school

Evi ct i o n o r n o t'T hi s w ee k s b ee n s o h ot

' T ha t l o ng a s I v e g ot y o u'I k no w I ll b e c oo l' ,I c ou ld n t c ra ck t he l ov e c od e d ea r

' Til you made the lock on my heart explode'I t s g on na b e a h ap py n ew y ea rA h ap py n e w y e a r

( .)MARK enters the scene


41/63

MARKC oa s t i s c l ea r

'Yo u re su pp o sed t o b e w o rki ng' That s for midnight

?W here a re t h ey' T h ere i sn t mu ch t i me

MIMI

'Ma yb e t h ey re d ressi ng'I m ea n w ha t d oe s o ne w ea r t ha t s a pr o po s

-- 'For a party that s als o a crime( " "MAUREEN enters wearing a skintight cat burgular suit and

.)c ar r yi ng a b a g o f p ot at o c hi psMAUREEN

, ?C h ip s a n yo n eMARK

Yo u c a n t a ke t h e g i rl o u t o f Hi cksvil l e'B ut y o u c a n t t ak e t he H ic k sv i ll e o ut o f t he g ir l

MAUREENM y r i o t g o t y o u o n T V

I d es e rv e a r oy al tyMIMI

B e n ic e y ou t woOr n o g o d a w f u l c h a mp ag n e

( .)MAUREEN takes out a cellular phone and dialsMAUREEN

'Do n t m ind i f I do?N o l u ck

61ROGER

,B o lt ed p l yw oo d p a dl o cked w i t h a c h ai nA t ot a l d e a d e nd

MAUREEN- J u st l i ke my ex g i rlf ri en d

( )on cellular phone. . .?Honey

' . . .I k no w y o u r e t he reP l ea se p ic k u p t he p ho ne

?A re y ou o ka y'I t s n ot f un ny'I t s n ot f ai r

?H ow c an I a t on e?A re y ou o ka y

I l o se c o nt rolB ut I c a n l e ar n t o b e ha v eG iv e m e o ne m or e c ha n ce

L et m e b e y ou r s la ve'I l l k i ss y ou r D oc M ar t en s

L et m e k i ss y o ur D oc M ar t en s Yo ur every w i sh I w i ll o b ey

( ) JOANNE entersJOANNE

T ha t mi g ht b e o ka yD o wn g i rl

. . .H ee l s ta yI d i d a b i t o f r e s e a r c h

W it h m y f r ie nd s a t l e ga l a i d, ' Technically you re squatters

'There s hope


42/63

B ut j us t i n c as e( . . . ) JOANNE whips out

&MARK JOANNE!Rope( )M AR K p oi nt i ng o f f

--We c an h oi s t a l i neJOANNE

--To t h e f i re esc ap eMARK

. . .A nd t ie o ff a t&MARK JOANNE

62! That bench

MAUREEN'I c an t t ak e t he m a s c hu ms

JOANNE. . .S t art h o ist i ng w enc h

(All three cross upstage and attempt to throw up the length of.r op e o v er a p la nk R OG ER a nd

. )MI MI a re l a ug h in g a n d h o l d i ng ea ch o t herROGER

I t hi nk I s ho ul d b e l au gh in g Yet I forget

F org et h o w t o b egi n'I m f eel i n g so met h in g i n si d e

'A nd y et I s t il l c an t d ec id eI f I s h ou ld h id eOr m ak e a w id e o pe n g ri n

L as t w ee k I w an te d j us t t o d is ap pe arM y l i f e w a s d u s tB ut n ow i t j u st m ay b e a h ap py n ew y ea r

A h ap py n e w y e a r( . ,COLLINS enters with ANGEL COLLINS dressed in black and

,w eari n g su ng l a sses c a rri es a.b ot t le o f c ha mp a gn e A NG E L w ea r s a p la s ti c d re s s a nd b lo nd e

:w ig a s ma l l b l ow to rc h i s s l un g. )a rou n d h i s sh ou l der

COLLINS--Bond James Bond

ANGEL--And Puss y Galor e i n per son

MIMI--Pus sy y ou cam e pr epared

ANGELI w as a b oy s co ut o nc e

A nd a b row n ie' Til some brat got scared

( )C OL LI NS t o M IM I! -- !Aha M one ype nny my mart ini

MIMI?W il l b a d c h amp ag n e d o

ROGER63

' -- Tha t s s hake n not st irredCOLLINS

--Pussy the bolts(COLLINS takes a swig of champagne as ANGEL grabs the

.)blowtorch


43/63

ANGEL! J u st sa y t h e w ord

( .)ANGEL turns on the blowtorchMIMI

Two mi nu t es l eft t o exec ut e o u r p l a nCOLLINS

' ?W here s everyo ne el se

ROGERPlaying Spiderman

MARK:I ro ni c c l os e u p t i gh t

'O n t he p ho ne m ac hi ne s r ed l ig htO nc e t he B o ho b oy s a re g o ne

T h e p o wer mysteri ou sl y c o mes o n#3V OI C E MA IL

( . , 'Lights up on MRS COHEN who s standing on a c hair and.)h ol di ng u p a p ho ne

.M RS C OH E N, 'M ar k i t s t he w ic ke d w i tc h o f t h e w es t Your mother

Ha pp y n ew yea r f rom S c arsd al e

'We re a l l i mpressed t h at t h e ri o t f o ot a geMa de t h e n i g h t ly n ewsEven yo u r f a th er sa ys Ma z el to v

--Honey call him,L ov e M om

( . , ,MRS COHEN stepping off the chair passes the phone to ALEXI .)DARLING

#4V OI C E MA IL( )A LE X I D AR L IN G o n t h e c h ai r

Ma rk C o henA l exi D a rl i ng f rom B u zz l i ne

MARK64

, ' .O h t ha t s ho w s s o s le az yALEXI DARLING

: - Yo ur f oo t ag e o n t he r i ot s A o ne-- --Feature segment net work dealtime

'I m s e nd i ng y ou a c on tr a ct- -Ke r c hi ng k er c hi ng

970-4301M ar ky g i ve u s a c a ll863-6754O r a t h om e t ry

-- 919-763-0090Or my cell phone at-- -Or you can e mail me

A t D a rl i ng A l exi N ewsc o m d o t n et-- --Or you can page me at

( !)BeeeepH AP PY N EW Y EA R B

MAUREEN!I t hi nk w e n e e d a n a ge nt

MARK?We

JOANNE'T ha t s sel li n g o u t

MARK'B ut i t s n ic e t o dr ea m

MAUREEN-- ' Yeah it s networ k TV


44/63

'A nd i t s a ll t ha nk s t o m eMARK

S om e ho w I t hi nk I s me l l T he w hi ff o f a s c he m e

JOANNEM e t o o

MAUREEN

We c a n p l an a n ot h er p rot estJOANNE

?!WeMAUREEN

. . . ( ) T hi s t im e yo u ca n sh oo t fr om t he s t ar t t o M AR K ' ( ) Yo u l l d i rec t t o J OAN N E

65!Starring me

( .)Lights shift back to downstairsALL5, 4, 3. . . !!Open sesame( , , , .) The door falls away revealing MARK JOANNE and MAUREEN

Ha pp y n ew yea rHa pp y n ew yea r

. . .Ha pp y n ew( .)BENNY entersBENNY

'I s ee t ha t y ou v e b ea te n m e t o t he p un chROGER

' ?H ow d id y ou k no w w e d b e h er eBENNYI h a d a h u n c h

MARK' ? You re not mad

BENNY'I m h er e t o e nd t hi s w ar'I t s a s ha m e y ou w en t a nd d es tr o ye d t he d oo r

MIMIW hy a l l t h e s ud de n t he b ig a bo ut f ac e

BENNY T h e c red i t i s yo urs Yo u ma d e a g o od c a se

ROGER?W ha t c a se

BENNYM i m i c a m e t o s e e m e

A n d s h e h a d m u c h t o s a yMIMI

' T ha t s n ot h ow y ou p ut i t a t a l l y e st e rd ayBENNY

'I c ou ld n t s t op t h in ki ng a bo ut t he w ho le m es s--Mark you want to get this on film

66( .)MARK picks up his cameraMARKI g u ess

( )B ENN Y f o rma ll yI regret t h e u n lu cky c i rc u mst a nc esO f t he p as t s e ve n d ay s

ROGER?C irc umst an c e Yo u p ad l oc ked o u r d o o r


45/63

BENNY'A nd i t s w it h g re at p le as ur e

On b eha l f o f C yberArt s T ha t I h a nd y o u t h i s k ey

( .)BENNY hands him the keyANGEL

G o lf c l ap s

( . ) They obligeMARKI ha ve n o j ui ce i n m y b at te ry

BENNYReshootROGER

--I see thi s i s a p hot o oppor tunit yMAUREEN

The benevolent GodU sh er s t he p oo r a r ti s ts b ac k t o t he ir f la t

Were yo u p l an n in g o n t a kin g d o wn t h e b a rb ed w i re, ?Fr om t he l ot t oo

ROGER!A n yt h i ng b u t t h at

BENNYC le ar i ng t he l o t w as a s a fe t y c o nc er n

We b rea k g rou n d t h is mo nt hB ut y o u c a n r et ur n

67MAUREEN

' 'T ha t s w hy y o u r e h er e w it h p eo pl e y o u h at e'I ns t ea d o f w it h M uf fy a t M uf fy s e s ta t e

BENNY' --I d h on es t ly r a th er b e w it h y ou t o ni gh t t ha n i n We st po rt

ROGER,S pa re u s o l d s po r t t he s ou nd bi t e

BENNY--M im i s in ce yo ur wor ds ar e s o s ed uc ti ve

MIMI! Yo u c a me o n t o m e

BENNYP ersua d e h i m n o t t o b e so c o un t erp rod u ct i ve

ROGER!Liar

BENNY?W h y n o t t e l l t h e m w h a t y o u w o r e t o m y p l a c e

MIMII w a s o n m y w a y t o w o r k

BENNY!B l ac k l eat h er a n d l a ce

M y d e s k w a s a m e s s'I t hi nk I m s ti ll s or e

MIMIC au s e I k i ck ed h im r i gh t b e fo re I w al ke d o ut t he d oo r

BENNYD o es yo ur b o yf ri en d kn ow

?W ho yo ur l a st b o yf rien d w a sROGER'I m n ot h e r b o yf r ie nd

'I d on t c ar e w ha t s he d oe sANGEL


46/63

! ?P eo pl e I s t h is a ny w ay t o s t ar t a n ew y ea rHave compassionB en ny j us t l os t h is c at

68BENNY

--My dog but I appreciate thatANGEL

M y c a t h a d a f a l lA nd I w en t t hr o ug h h e ll

BENNY' --I t s l ik e l os i ng a

?H ow d id y ou k no w t h a t s h e f e ll( )C OL L IN S H a nd s B EN NY a g la s s o f c ha mp a gn e

?ChampagneBENNY

'Do n t m ind i f I do! To dogs

A LL B UT B E NN Y, -- !No Benny to you

ANGEL'Let s make a resol u t io n

MIMI'I l l d ri nk t o t ha t

COLLINS'Let s a l wa ys st a y f ri end s

JOANNE' T ho w e m a y h a v e o u r d i s pu te s

MAUREEN' T h is f a mi l y t ree s g o t d eep ro ot s

MARKFri en d sh i p i s t h ic ker t h a n b l oo d

ROGERThat depends

MIMID epen ds o n t ru st

ROGERD epen ds o n t ru e d evot i o n

69JOANNE

D epen ds o n l o ve( )M AR K t o RO GE R

D epen ds o n n o t d enyi ng emot i o nROGERPerhapsALL'I t s g on na b e a h ap py n ew y ea r

ROGERI g u ess

ALL'I t s g on na b e a h ap py n ew y ea r

ROGER' You re right

( .ANGEL brings ROGER and MIMI together ANGEL and others m ov e a wa y f ro m M IM I a nd

. )ROGERANGEL'I t s g on na b e a h ap py n ew y ea r

&ROGER MIMI


47/63

'I m s or r yROGER

?ComingMIMI

-- ' --In a minute I m fine go( . .)ROGER kisses MIMI and exits THE MAN appears

THE MAN

, , . ?We ll w el l w el l W ha t ha ve w e h er e(He walks over to MIMI and holds out a small plastic bag of

.)white powder'I t s g on na b e a h ap py n ew y ea r

, .. . . T he re t he re e tc( .)Fade out

( ' ) TAK E M E O R L EA VE M E A ny l oc a ti o n a n d J oa nn e s l of t70MARK

' . . . . 'Va le nt i ne s D ay P an a cr os s t h e e m p ty l ot R og er s d ow n a t' , 'M im i s w he re h e s b e en f or a lm os t

--t wo m on ths n ow a lt ho ug h he k ee ps t al ki ng a bo ut s el li ng h is.g ui t ar a nd h ea di ng o ut o f t ow n

( ) . . .Still jealous of Benny God knows where Collins and Angel

...a re C ou ld b e t ha t n e w S ha nt y. . . Tow n n e ar t he r i ve r o r a s ui t e a t t he P la za M a ur e en a nd J oa nn e

.. .are rehearsingJOANNE

!I s ai d o nc e m or e f ro m t he t opMAUREEN

!I s a i d n oMARK

, ' .. . ? ' . . T ha t i s if t he y r e s pe ak ing t hi s we ek M e I m h er e N ow her e( .)Lights up on the scene

JOANNE" ,A nd t he l in e i s C yb er A rt s a n d i t s c o rp or at e s p on so r Gr ey,C o mmu ni c a ti o ns w o ul d l i ke t o

. . ." . . .?m it ig at e t he C hr is tm as E v e r io ts W ha t i s s o di ff ic ul tMAUREEN

' . .I t j us t d oe sn t r ol l o ff m y t o ng ue I l ik e m y v e r si onJOANNE

-- -- You dressed as a groundhog t o protest the.. .groundbreaking

MAUREEN' !I t s a m et a ph or

JOANNE' . . . .I t s l e ss t ha n b r il l ia nt

MAUREEN' , ! T ha t s i t M is s I vy L ea gu e

JOANNE?What

MAUREEN' , ' . .E ve r s i nc e N e w Yea r s I h av en t s ai d b o o I l et y ou d ir ec t I

'd id n t s t ay a nd d an ce a t t he c lu b t ha t, ' . . .n ig ht c aus e y o u w ant ed t o g o h om e

JOANNE! Yo u w ere f l i rti n g w i t h t h e w oma n i n ru bb er

MAUREEN71

' ? T ha t s w ha t t h i s i s a bo ut T he re w il l a lw ay s b e w o me n i n r ub be r!f li rt in g w it h m e G iv e m e a


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.breakEvery si n gl e d a y

I w al k d ow n t he s tr ee t,I h ea r p eo pl e s ay

" ' "Baby s so sweetEver si n ce p u bert y

Everyb od y st a res a t me

-Boys girls' 'I c an t c an t h el p i t b ab y

S o b e k i n d'D on t l os e y o ur m in d

' J us t r em em be r t ha t I m y o ur b ab y Tak e m e f or w ha t I a mW h o I w a s m e a n t t o b eA nd i f y o u g iv e a d am n Take me b a by o r l eave me Take me b a by o r l eave me

A t i g e r i n a c a g eC an n ev e r s e e t he s u n T h is d i va n eed s h er st a ge

- ' !Baby let s have fun

Yo u a r e t h e o ne I c ho os e'F ol ks d k il l t o f i ll y o ur s h oe s

, Yo u l o ve t h e l i mel ig h t t o o b a byS o b e m i n e

'Or d on t w as te m y t im e' -- " -- ?"Cryin Honeybear are you still my baby Tak e m e f or w ha t I a mW h o I w a s m e a n t t o b eA nd i f y o u g iv e a d am n Take me b a by o r l eave me

-- 'No way can I be what I m not-- ' !B

rent (school) - script

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