Restorative Conversations: Strategies for Preventing and Resolving Conflicts

1. Opening Statement:

Northeast Iowa Peace and Justice Center proposes to sponsor instruction in fundamentals of

mediation and conflict resolution in the fall of 2015. This program will address a need for

measures that nurture empowerment and harmony in the local region by providing instruction

and practice for resolving conflict peacefully. Participants will include various local boards,

committees, work teams, and families. The skills of listening and communicating will be

emphasized within the primary principles of resolving conflicts and preventing social strife. The

4 classes will apply theory to practice of these premier models for restoring harmony:

mediation, crucial conversations, contrasting personalities, and conflict prevention.

Course Objectives:

A. To foster positive outcomes in social disputes.

B. To provide instruction and practice that will enable safe conversations within

families, work environments, and community activities.

C. To share expert knowledge of communication processes that are research-based

and representative of current professional standards.

2. Targeted audience: social workers, clergy, human resource professionals, employers, educators,

committee members, board members, public servants, peace officers, family members, etc.

3. Outcomes:

As a result of this instruction, participants will be able to implement restorative communication

skills in situations that are ripe for conflict. Participants will gain the confidence to guide

conversations that lead to resolution and empowerment, rather than continuing and escalating

hostility. Based on class instruction and in-class exercises, participants will gain knowledge and

trust in the positive process. Commitment to and awareness of mediation in the community will

foster cooperation, prevent conflict escalation, and lead to positive social relationships.

Families, workplaces, and the wider community will benefit from intentional conversations

leading to win-win solutions. The course emphasis is upon social contexts. It will not involve

court-ordered legal disputes, complex negotiations, or arbitration of legal contracts.

4. Course Outline:

The course will enable participants to survey four models for restorative conversations, each

one based upon researched principles that advance positive discourse. Participants will be asked

to provide a statement of rationale for their interest in the program and will be expected to

actively participate in class sessions. Participants are expected to carry this training into their

professional and personal lives.

The working schedule anticipates 4 class meetings of 2 hours each, beginning in November,

2015; a possible schedule includes Mondays November 16 and 23 5:30-7:30; Mondays

December 7 and 14 5;30-7:30; Course dates and times may be adjusted to meet the needs of

participants.

Resources to be applied include:

The Promise of Mediation by Robert A. Baruch Bush and Joseph P. Folger.

Appreciative Inquiry: A Positive Revolution in Change by David L. Cooperrider and Diana

Whitney.

FISH! A Remarkable Way to Boost Morale and Improve Results by Stephen C. Lundin, Ph.D.,

Harry Paul, and John Christensen.

Wired for Conflict: The role of personality in resolving differences by Sondra S. VanSant.

Personality Lingo: The Power of Personality to Transform Relationships, Improve Communication

and Reduce Stress by Mary Miscisin.

Crucial Conversations: Tools for talking when stakes are high by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny,

Ron McMillan, Al Switzler.

Anticipated course topics:

Session One: Overview of principles, practices and benefits common to all models;

The Mediation Model: assist conflicting parties while remaining neutral.

Session Two: Overview of principles, practices and benefits common to all models;

Crucial Conversations Model: apply dialogue strategies that make it safe to disagree.

Session Three: Overview of principles, practices and benefits common to all models;

Temperament and Personality Model: value traits of self and others to solve problems.

Session Four: Overview of principles, practices and benefits common to all models;

Conflict Prevention Model: build upon strengths to find common purpose.

5. Faculty:

The convener is Ms. Mary Jorgensen, a career educator at high school and college levels; Master

of Arts in Educational Psychology; certified Wellcoaches training for Coaching Psychology;

Introduction to Mediation with Sovern Mediation, LLC; personal coach and workshop presenter.

Further expertise is expected from local resources in the fields of nursing, ministry, education

and legal practice.

6. Pre-Training Survey will provide data regarding such topics as:

prior experience with mediation; professional or other interest in the subject; likely applications

for the information;

Post-Training Survey will provide evaluative feedback in such areas as:

Rating the value of the instruction; the quality of materials and use of class time; specific

examples of how the information will be useful. Participants will describe how their skills will be

employed in future professional and personal settings.

Additional possibilities:

Certificates of completion will be designed and presented by the sponsoring agency, Northeast Iowa

Peace and Justice Center for those who complete all four classes. Individuals seeking CEUs for social

work may receive continuing education credits.

Restorative Conversations: Strategies for Preventing and Resolving Conflicts

Course Syllabus, November and December, 2015

Rationale

In every life there are crucial moments that make a huge difference in the decisions we make.

Conversations that encourage us are like a green light to salutary and satisfying life decisions.

Encounters that generate opposition are like a stop sign, blocking further growth. Being obstructed

often leads to a higher level of conflict in life, and sometimes violent outcomes. We navigate a world

where stress and pressure have charged the human environment with both possibility and peril. Our

work in Restorative Conversations is about noticing the risks and transforming them into new

possibilities for solving problems with peaceful results. The passion we bring to this work is fueled by

optimism that, with every conversation there is potential for building harmony between people, in

families, at work, and in our communities.

Benefits

Participating in Restorative Conversations will lead to the following benefits for participants, their

workplaces, families, and the community:

1. Career: Skills to handle difficult situations without closing down defensively or undermining

one’s own future.

2. Personal health: Learning how to resolve differences leads to improved immunity, mental health

and well-being, and lowered risk of early death.

3. Relationships: Establishing healthy communication patterns to prevent break-ups that result

when parties haven’t learned how to say things honestly, listen patiently, and with respect.

4. Organizational benefit: Progress is slowed or prevented when people don’t handle difficult

conversations well; companies, teams, departments, and committees thrive when crucial conversations

are encouraged and managed around common goals.

5. Community betterment: Healthy dialogues lead to effective and fair problem solving through

safe conversations, promoting harmony and preventing violent solutions.

Universal Rules of Restorative Conversations: Listen and Respect

Listening Skills:

Level 1: Common conversation where listening takes place only to share one’s own experience, offer

advice, or ensure that one’s own story is heard; me-centered.

Level 2: Extending a conversation by asking questions, probing for details, acknowledges the speaker.

Level 3: Reflecting and validating the speaker by commenting on positive traits, inquiring about the

speaker’s feelings, plans, and dreams; reflects with neutral observations: sounds like, seems like, etc.

Respect Skills:

Mediation practices that emphasize neutrality, encouraging participation by both parties, asking

permission, reflecting, summarizing, questioning, checking in.

Crucial Conversations that establish safety guidelines for sharing what participants really want, staying in

the dialogue when risk arises, listening to others’ wants and needs, practicing positive

acknowledgements.

Temperament and Personality traits identified with patterns of conversation help participants respect

differences and practice respectful strategies for interacting positively.

Conflict Prevention practices respectful acknowledgement of each other’s strengths, finding ways to

share responsibility for what happens, with appreciative acknowledgement of others’ goals.

Course Schedule:

November 16: The Mediation Model

Introduction and survey of Rationale, Benefits, and Universal Rules for resolving conflicts

Mediation Model defined

Role of mediator

Questions mediators ask: Reflecting, Summarizing, Expanding, Checking In

Conducting a mediated session: introduction, consent, ground rules

Sample Case Role Playing

Application Practice

November 23: The Crucial Conversations Model

Introduction and survey of Rationale, Benefits, and Universal Rules for resolving conflicts

Crucial Conversations introduction: The free flow of information

Examples of crucial conversations

The principles of dialogue; Start with the Heart, Avoid Attacks, Stay in the Dialogue

Safety through Mutual Purpose and Mutual Respect

3 Common Avoidance Tactics

Practicing scenarios

December 7:

Introduction and survey of Rationale, Benefits, and Universal Rules for resolving conflicts

Temperament and Personality in Conflict: Solving problems among varying personality styles

Introverts vs. Extroverts, typical misunderstandings

4 Styles of reacting to stress, depending on variations in perceiving and processing information:

Distinctive natural traits of communicating in style, and managing conflict in style

Using personality style to communicate effectively

December 14:

Introduction and survey of Rationale, Benefits, and Universal Rules for resolving conflicts

Setting the tone for cooperation in families, workplaces, and committees

1. Appreciative Inquiry model: Change through positive energy

The 4-D cycle of positive change: Discovery, Dream, Design, Destiny

2. FISH model: Playful policies for engaging positive energy

Choose your attitude; Be present in the moment; Make their day; Have fun

3. TeamWorks model: A facilitated seminar for departments, committees, teams, staff, or

leadership units to enhance communication and strategic planning.

The model to build cooperation and collaboration consists of the following steps: Listening skills,

Identifying strengths, Temperament awareness, Charting the future for cooperation.