Reflections of an Aging Mirror

How should we grow old?Can we grow old with

grace?Why do some become

bitter and grouchy?Why are some elderly

sweet and kind?

Introduction

Self-centered man mailed his mirror back to the company which made it.

NOTE: “To whom it may concern, This mirror is flawed. It no longer reflects correctly, making me look much older than I am.”

“Please send me a mirror that will reflect what I look like and will not make me look quite so old.”

Introduction

N. B. Hardemen (in his late 80's) Invited to speak on subject of aging “I am too young to speak on this subject.”

Most relate “growing old” to: Decline in health Becoming bitter, angry, grouchy Set in their ways Discontented with life Living in the the past

Introduction

Young people think - “I don't want to be like that when I get old.”

Growing old with grace is not an accident “Most men spend the first half of their lives

making the second half miserable.” The status of older people can change. We can grow old with grace.

Status of Elderly can change

Begin with ourselves “Old” is a loaded word How do you measure age?

Chronoligical – years lived Biological – bodily health Psychological – mental development Sociological – how we get along in society Spiritual – how our faith has developed

Status of Elderly can change

Begin with ourselves View aging positively

Don't ask – Am I too old? Ask – Am I old enough? Spiritually – Are you as old as you should be? I am going to get older as long as I live “I would rather be 60 years young than to be

50 years old.”

Status of Elderly can change

Begin with ourselves View aging positively Face aging realistically

Distinguish between fact and fiction Age should not be praised too much Old age should not be valued too little

Status of Elderly can change

Begin with ourselves View aging positively Face aging realistically Accept aging as a normal process

We are aging when we are born Aging is not an event – It is a process The only alternative is death

Status of Elderly can change

Begin with ourselves View aging positively Face aging realistically Accept aging as a normal process Make a conscious effort to grow old with

grace Reject the idea that old age is dismal, lonely Avoid the pitfalls of old age Pray the you will remain sweet

Why don't we see the beauty?

Limited concept of beauty 1 Samuel 16:7 – Man looks at the outside With age, we ought to become more

beautiful, not less Moral and Spiritual Astigmatism

Our sense of values become distorted Our eyes see what our heart sees Beauty is in the heart / not eye of beholder

2 Views of Aging

We will gradually disengage from the mainstream of life's activities- OR -

We will remain relatively active as far and as long as possible

We must choose which is our view

THE POSSIBILITY

Biblical examples

(1) Moses – 120 – Deuteronomy 34:7

(2)Joshua – Joshua 24:15

(3)Barzillia – 2 Samuel 19:31-38

(4)Dorcas – Acts 9:36-39

(5)Paul – 2 Timothy 4:6-8; 16-18

(6)Peter – 2 Peter 1:13-15

(7)Caleb – Joshua 14:10-12

THE POSSIBILITY

Biblical example – Abraham and Sarah

Genesis

12:4 75 – when he left Haran

12:11 Sarah (65) was too beautiful

12:14 Egyptians, Pharaoh noticed

16:16 86 – when Ishmael is born

17:1 99 when Isaac is promised

17:17 100 (round number), Sarah - 90

20:5 Sarah is still to beautiful @ 90

21:5 Isaac born – Abraham 100

THE POSSIBILITY

HOW PRETTY WILL YOU BE AT 65? AT 90?

WAS IT OIL OF OLAY? AVON? MARY KAY?

OR: WAS IT SPIRITUAL? CHARACTER?

FAITH IN GOD? MEEK AND QUIET SPIRIT?

THE POSSIBILITY 1 Peter 3:3-6 3 Do not let your adornment be

merely outward--arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel-- 4 rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. 5 For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.

THE POSSIBILITY

Biblical examples Personal examples You have known such people Some grow old – grouchey / cranky Some grow old - sweek / kind

THE PRINCIPLES

Whatever a man sows, that he will also reap

Galatians 6:7-8 7 Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. 8 For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life.

Sow corn = reap corn

THE PRINCIPLES

Whatever a man sows, that he will also reap Take care of body, mind = reap same Disregard health, mind = reap same This is even more true in the spiritual realm Job 4:8 Even as I have seen, Those who plow

iniquity And sow trouble reap the same. Hosea 8:7 They sow the wind, And reap the

whirlwind. The stalk has no bud; It shall never produce meal.

THE PRINCIPLES

Whatever a man sows, that he will also reap Foundation for old age – laid in youth Ecclesiastes 12:1 Remember now your Creator in

the days of your youth, Before the difficult days come, And the years draw near when you say, "I have no pleasure in them":

We must for a positive attitude toward life. Not all “old people” fit in the same group

THE PRINCIPLES

Whatever a man sows, that he will also reap Bitterness, discontent, anger in elderly did not start

when they turned 65. Notice the contrast in Galatians 5:19-23

Works of the flesh Fruit of the Spirit You are producing one or the other –

Which?

THE PRINCIPLES

Whatever a man sows, that he will also reap Galatians 6:15-16 15 But if you bite and devour

one another, beware lest you be consumed by one another! 16 I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.

Hosea 10:12 Sow for yourselves righteousness; Reap in mercy; Break up your fallow ground, For it is time to seek the Lord, Till He comes and rains righteousness on you.

THE PRINCIPLES

Whatever a man sows, that he will also reap Young peole want to “sow their wild oats”

Then what? Pray for crop failure. We fail to realize that we will reap them

later in life Smoking, drinking, sexual immorality

“He that would pass the latter part of life with honor and decency must, when he is young, consider that he shall one day be old.” (Samuel Johnson)

THE PRINCIPLES

Man shall not live by bread alone Matthew 4:4 But He answered and said, "It is

written, 'Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.' "

Bread = more than dough, includes all material and physical things

Live = more than simple existence, includes full, happy abundant life (John 10:10)

Luke 12:15b For one's life does not consist in the abundance of the things he possesses.

THE PRINCIPLES

Man shall not live by bread alone Solomon came to this conclusion –

Ecclesiastes 2:17-23 There is more to life than material things We must realize that full, abundant life does not

require more things Luke 9:25 For what profit is it to a man if he gains

the whole world, and is himself destroyed or lost? Luke 12:15-21 – Parable of rich (foolish) farmer

THE PRINCIPLES

Blessed is the man who finds wisdom Blessed = happy, satisfied, content Discuss – Knowledge / Wisdom

Knowledge = information, facts Wisdom = insight, understanding to use the

information we have aquired

THE PRINCIPLES

Blessed is the man who finds wisdom Proverbs 3:13-18 13 Happy is the man who finds

wisdom, And the man who gains understanding; 14 For her proceeds are better than the profits of silver, And her gain than fine gold. 15 She is more precious than rubies, And all the things you may desire cannot compare with her. 16 Length of days is in her right hand, In her left hand riches and honor. 17 Her ways are ways of pleasantness, And all her paths are peace. 18 She is a tree of life to those who take hold of her, And happy are all who retain her.

THE PRINCIPLES

Blessed is the man who finds wisdom Wisdom is gained in two ways:

Personal experience Time consuming and wasteful Trial and error Repeat the same mistakes of others

God and His word Proverbs 2:6 For the Lord gives

wisdom; From His mouth come knowledge and understanding;

THE PRINCIPLES Blessed is the man who finds wisdom Proverbs 3:21-25 21 My son, let them not

depart from your eyes-- Keep sound wisdom and discretion; 22 So they will be life to your soul And grace to your neck. 23 Then you will walk safely in your way, And your foot will not stumble. 24 When you lie down, you will not be afraid; Yes, you will lie down and your sleep will be sweet. 25 Do not be afraid of sudden terror, Nor of trouble from the wicked when it comes;

THE PRACTICE

Be an example to others 1 Timothy 4:12 Let no one despise your

youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity.

You cannot avoid being an example Others are watching – like it or not

THE PRACTICE

Be an example to others You will be an example – good or bad You will show others what to be or what not

to be Determine to be a good example to others so

they will know how to grow old with dignity

THE PRACTICE

Commit yourself to the Word of God 1 Timothy 4:13 Till I come, give attention to

reading, to exhortation, to doctrine.

(1)Read your Bible – not just “cram for finals”

(2)Study your Bible

(3)Memorize passages of Scripture

(4)Read spiritual material – books, tapes, magazines, commentaries, etc.

THE PRACTICE

Cultivate your talents 1 Timothy 4:14a Do not neglect the gift that

is in you, Hone the skills you have

Practice, practice, practice Use them or lose them

Learn new skills Challenge yourself mentally Learn new things you can use

THE PRACTICE

Apply diligence to your efforts 1 Timothy 4:15 Meditate on these things;

give yourself entirely to them, that your progress may be evident to all.

Half-hearted effort = half-hearted results It takes a concentrated effort It does not happen by accident Be diligent and persevere

THE PRACTICE

Comments about memory “I can't remember things anymore.” We can remember:

What we dwell on, think about What we want to remember, important

Memory is a web that connects – sound, sight, smell, color, action – Think “Thanksgiving”

THE PRACTICE Comments about memory Some memories can be harsh, critical, bitter Some memories can be sweet, pleasant You will remember what you focus on:

Names – focus on the person Scripture – read, read, read Events – baptism, marriage, children

Spiritual memories are important to keep faith and hope alive

VISION VANTAGE POINT

Older people are able to see the present in light of the past and fix their eyes on the future

Sometimes the “advice” given from this vantage point – is seen as interference

The vanatage point of the elderly allows them to “see around the corner”

HOW OLD ARE YOU?

Why are we afraid to tell our age? Our world is age conscious We have a fear of rejection if too old Preachers over 55 – difficult finding a place

to preach A youth-oriented society says age is bad and

youth is good. Fact is – We need both the energy of youth

and the wisdom of age

SUMMARY

Is it possible to grow old with dignity, grace and kindness?

Those who are young must understand It does not come at age 65 It must be the life we develop when young We must follow the wisdom of God It does not come from worldy things We will reap in old age what we have sown

in our younger days

SUMMARY

Psalm 92:12-15 12 The righteous shall flourish like a palm tree, He shall grow like a cedar in Lebanon. 13 Those who are planted in the house of the Lord Shall flourish in the courts of our God. 14 They shall still bear fruit in old age; They shall be fresh and flourishing, 15 To declare that the Lord is upright; He is my rock, and there is no unrighteousness in Him.

WHAT CAN I DO?

Hindrances before retirement Financial obligations Work demands Children College tuition Care for aging parents

WHAT CAN I DO?

What you might lack Use of modern technology

Cell phones, computers, GPS Wi-Fi, HTML, FTP

Willingness to learn, expand, out of the box Speed – with age we tend to slow down Some health issues

WHAT CAN I DO?

Situation in early retirement More home than you need More time than you can fill More wisdom / maturity More practical experience

WHAT CAN I DO?

Some practical suggestions Learn something new

Take a course at senior center Learn something you always wanted to know Computers, foreign language

Get involved Volunteer – hospital, nursing home, agency Church – you are still needed In lives of others – find some place to serve

WHAT CAN I DO?

Some practical suggestions Work at home

Send cards, notes, letters Make phone calls – sick, lonely Take food – make cookies, pie

Close the generation gap Get involved with younger couples Adopt a “grandchild” in the church Babysit Go to their school events

WHAT CAN I DO?

Some practical suggestions For “older” retirees

Be a proper example in faith and hope Guide, lead, suggest Support and encourage

3 Musketeers in Athens, TN All of them in their 90's and going strong Involved in the work