REASONS WHY TEENAGERS DISOBEY THEIR PARENTS

Teenage rebellion is nothing new. Rebellious children have been around since the first children inhabited the earth. Remember Cain and Abel? So, what should you do about it? Run from the battle? Raise the white surrender flag in defeat? Go to war with guns a blazing? None of those things will accomplish very much and may end up killing your relationship with your child. Instead, it’s important to first get a handle on why your teen may be rebelling. Understanding why your teen is rebelling is foundational to understanding what we should do about it. In today’s blog, I’m going to talk about the “Why?” Tomorrow, we’ll address the “What?”

Here are the top 5 reasons why teenagers rebel

• Struggle for Identity.• Your teen is trying to answer the question, “Who

am I?” During the teen years, our children struggle to figure out who they really are and why they are here. It’s important during this time for parents to help children understand their immeasurable value because of who they are, not for what they do. A mom and dad should help their kids understand the difference between identity and image.

• Struggle for Attention.• Often teens want others to notice them. They’re

silently saying, “Hey, look at me!” And sometimes, they’ll do almost anything for attention. As parents, we need to do everything we can to give our kids attention by being available when they need us. A father or mother who is always working and not paying attention to their child will find a child who seeks attention in many wrong places and in many wrong ways. Fathers, especially, need to let their daughters know they are beautiful inside and out. And they need to let their sons know they’ve got what it takes.

• Struggle for Acceptance.• Remember trying to be cool in order to fit in? It’s the

same today. Teens still want to be part of the crowd, they want a sense of belonging, and they still feel the pressure to do what everyone else is doing. In the movie “What a Girl Wants,” teenage Daphne is trying to be someone she’s not and is really struggling with it. At one point, her boyfriend asks, “Why are you trying so hard to fit in, when you were born to stand out?” While understanding our children’s need for acceptance, let’s help them understand that it’s good to be different. Encourage them to be different, to have the courage to do what’s right, and the conviction to stand out in the crowd.

• Struggle for Control.• When our children are younger, we are in

complete control of just about everything they do—what they eat, what they wear, where they go and who they are with. As they get older, our children want to make more and more decisions for themselves and don’t want mom or dad always telling them what to do. We need to show our children that they will have more control over their decision-making to the extent that we can trust them to make wise decisions. Trust is earned over time.

• Struggle for Freedom.• If you have teens, you’ve probably heard

something like, “I just want some freedom.” While teens say they want total freedom and independence, they still want to, and need to, rely upon us for certain things. As parents, we need to allow them to experience more freedom as they get older, but only as they learn a very important point: freedom comes with responsibility.

• Struggle for Freedom.• If you have teens, you’ve probably heard

something like, “I just want some freedom.” While teens say they want total freedom and independence, they still want to, and need to, rely upon us for certain things. As parents, we need to allow them to experience more freedom as they get older, but only as they learn a very important point: freedom comes with responsibility

10 Tips for Parents of Defiant Children

1) Notice good behavior and give attention to it. Anything you see that you want to happen

more often -- let the child know you like it. Say, "You guys are doing so well playing

together today! That's great!" Then go over and touch the child affectionately or give a

high five. This will help make it happen more often.

2) Positive attention to good behavior can be a smile, a touch or praise -- or all three -- but do it

right away and be specific about what it was the child did right every time. "Great job taking

your dishes to the sink!" works better than "Great job!"

• 3) Instead of saying "stop" or "don't" when you see bad behavior, find the "positive opposite": Figure out what you do want the child to do instead. So "Don't leave your socks on the floor" becomes "Please put your socks in the hamper." If they comply, remember to praise them! "Wow, you did what I asked! You put your socks in the hamper!" You will have to say "stop" and "don't" once in a while -- that's normal -- but you will have to say it much less if you are praising the positive opposite.

• 4) Enthusiasm counts. Let them see how thrilled you are with their good behavior!

• 5) Start a reward system for a child who rarely does what you ask, but make a game of it. When you are both calm, tell him it is a game and practice giving a pretend request like "Please go to bed." Then give him praise and a point when he goes the first time you ask him to. If he doesn't do what you ask the first time, say, "I can see you're not ready to do it right now, you don't earn a point right now, but we'll try again later." And they don't earn a point. If the child then turns around after you've said that and does what you asked, then praise her effusively, but don't give her a point. You want to get the child used to doing what you ask on the first try. The key is practice and role play. Give him a reward point for doing a successful pretend. Show him the rewards he can earn by doing what you ask right away without complaint. Rewards can be anything a child really wants, and don't always cost money. Maybe they get an extra story at bedtime or get to go shopping with mom.

6) Give an instruction only once. Don't foster greater disobedience by giving it a lot of attention. If you focus on their defiance, it will actually increase.7) Learn to ignore -- or actually walk away -- from annoying behavior. When you stop giving attention to annoying behavior, there's nothing in it for the child. When you first start doing it, your child may actually throw even more tantrums -- because they're upset that their usual way of getting what they want isn't working. Eventually they will see that it doesn't work anymore.

8) Your goal in a tantrum is to get past it. Stay calm yourself and your child will calm down faster.

9) When you must punish, make it a brief and don't delay it. Don't add punishment if the child complains. If they can't or won't do time out, take away a toy or privilege for a specified time. Longer and harsher punishment doesn't make it more effective.

10) Above all, put tip No. 1 into practice. Ideally, you should be praising your child's behavior 90 percent of the time and punishing only 10 percent of the time. Notice your child's good behavior and give it positive attention. They will do more of it. Change your behavior and your child will change theirs!

The Following photos will be the cause of your childs rebellion .

IF YOU TREAT YOUR CHILDREN PROPERLYDon’t be a overprotective parents so that your children will not rebel.

There are two pictures below in the left one those are what will happen if you don’t give a proper attention to your children

The right one shows a perfect family and a good result of giving a proper attention to your children