RANTIN’, MUSIC ‘N’ SPORT MAG

Fashion trends, they come and go but until they do fall away they fill me with such hatred, such disdain, such disappointment in our species. Strong words you may say but my point will stand valid. These shoes are an abomination on manhood, a putrid stain on a normal

guy who doesn’t want to associated with tossers and what makes it worse is that these dullards wearing these monstrosities fit into

my age demographic; 18-24.

You won’t see the 13-17 year old kids wearing these bad boys, they’re still rocking their black Topman stretch skinny jeans that

they roll up, to see their white socks. They pair this with some Nike Roshe’s. They still haven’t got facial hair, either like my age

group can proudly (patchy or even) strut about so, ‘The socks stay on, man!’

But my age group have ankle hair, not too much to cover in embarrassment but enough to be confident in their masculinity and the

hairs are of course dark enough to be noticed in the same way that if this was 1899 and Lady Wootton-Carter had her ankles out the

men would de double taking galore.

Sadly this isn’t a slender female ankle for gawping at, but an ankle that belongs to a

ball bag. The guy who thinks he’s really cool and part of a Royal family;

‘You heading off to laugh at the poor, pal?’

‘No mate, just off to Jack Wills’

‘…Of course you are…’

Hideous aren’t they? I don’t get it and maybe you do and therefore think I’m a misera-

ble git and I wouldn’t even disagree because I am.

This shoe makes you shout, ‘Hey Tom! King Charles VI called, he wants his shoes back!’ Why? Because it’s not 1396.

Why would you wear shoes with tassels on it, for peats sake? You slip on these supposedly elegant shoes over your manly size ten

feet and think, ‘Shit, I’m looking good today’. Pair these with some red hot chinos/black skinnies*, a shirt that you’ll pop open the

collar of and go to the polling station and vote Tory.

You think you’re a King because it’s what men used to wear… a long, long time ago. When men also wore wigs, makeup, tights

and heels; either go all out or go home, Rupert, I’m sick of it.

These shoes can also be paired with striped socks of the Crew Clothing kind. Nothing says, ‘I just played a game of polo but I’m

rather parched… anyone for Pimms?’ The chocolate brown tasselled shoes now are brought to life by blue and yellow striped

socks.

You think you stand out, don’t you? You probably do, but for reasons that most won’t be pleased with. You look like a

bellend. That’s right, the end of a man’s cock. Tough break, Oscar.

But you know what’s the saddest part? That all these Kings and playing polo is all a dream, as reality is of stark contrast.

It’s Friday night, 2am and you’re outside McDonalds and your name is Kevin.

For the miserable sod in us all Edition 1. May 2016.

THE ISHOE OF TODAY’S MALE FOOTWEAR Why do men persist on looking like tits?

KNOCKED LOOSE - POP CULTURE With a life that’s fundamentally fuelled by hate I get my release

through many different formats. Knocked Loose, the Knoxville hard-

core outfit are the providers, the dealers, the medicine.

Infusing hardcore with metal, Pop Culture hits hard and hits home;

the driven, heavy riffs paired with the tearing vocals that spout the

anger and animosity felt towards today’s society. Insecurities and

issues are also touched by the vocalist as he opens up to what is a

thought provoking and disheartening listen: especially when you can

relate.

With lines like; ‘All my friends have problems with their selves. We

don't talk about it, nothing helps. We tuck it deep inside, so no one

can see then we think about it later in our fucking dreams. Where are

all my friends? All my friends are dead’, ‘You are a fucking waste of

space just waiting for Hell’ and ‘I'm not straight edge, I'd just rather

be sober, I'm never looking back I'm not looking for closure. You

filled my body with hate, you can never get enough, all you ever

cared about was your stupid fucking...’

You feel his frustration, resentment and animosity. Yet this is hard-

core and they hit the nail on the head. The angst, that feeling of being

an outcast, the loneliness, the depression; society isn’t made for you

and I, but Knocked Loose speak out and are doing a damn fine job.

They’ve been recently signed to Pure Noise Records and it’s fully de-

served. Big things are to come from K//L but unfortunately there is

no sign of them hitting this side of the pond just yet but hopefully we

won’t have to wait too long. Keep your eyes and ears peeled.

www.facebook.com/KnockedLoose

Wearing sunglasses indoors.

Where to start? It makes me

so irate. You look like a cock.

You do not look cool. Why do

you wear sunglasses indoors?

Why do you wear sunglasses

when the skies are grey?

Why?!

Bono, I’m looking at you. Posh

out of touch Tories, I’m look-

ing at you. Do us all a favour,

pay your taxes and take your

shades off.

You know who wears sun-

glasses indoors? Blind people

What do you think of people who wear sunglasses, kiddo?

Knocked Loose.

DEPARTURES RELEASE DETAILS ABOUT NEW ALBUM

‘Death Touches Us, From

The Moment We Begin

To Love’ is the title of

Departures hotly antici-

pated new album target-

ing a summer release this

year.

Their last full length,

Teenage Haze was

released back in

November 2012 so the

wait for a new LP has

been a lengthy one.

The split EP, Departures /

Moose Blood with

Canterbury emo band

Moose Blood was

released a year after in

November 2013 and

featured two songs from

both bands.

But… it’s not been

enough. Sometime this

summer we will have a

new Departures album

and from the segments of

music they have made

public via their Facebook

page, it has only whetted

our appetite.

www.facebook.com/

departuresuk

www.departuresuk.bandc

amp.com

departures.bigcartel.com

Deafheaven playing Heaven in London.

DEAFHEAVEN - LIVE Seeing Deafheaven live has been one of my main focusses since my discovery

of them. Their cathartic wall of shoegaze infused black metal is unique, origi-

nal and magnificent.

New Bermuda was the main focus of the show with only a couple of songs from

Sunbather, Sunbather and Dream House. Opening with Brought To The Water

they teased with a looping intro before the barrier of sound hit the crowd. My

ears at this point were at their most vulnerable; ‘Should have brought earplugs’

was my casting thought.

Incessant blast beats and chugs opened before a barrage of tremolo gained em-

phasis accompanied by George Clarke’s snarling vocals. It was then I knew the

next hour would be exhilarating, capturing and striking. Clarke’s vocals live

were exemplary and matched his studio vocals wonderfully.

New Bermuda was played to a packed venue and what I found pleasantly sur-

prising was the amount of ‘normal’ everyday people there. A lack of leather

jacketed, long black haired metal heads while ‘ordinary folk’ were abundant;

knowing that Deafheaven have such a varied fan base was a breath of fresh air.

Once the entirety of New Bermuda was performed Deafheaven left the stage

promptly and without much notice but it wasn’t long before they made their

way back on stage for a 20 minute encore.. The aforementioned songs off Sun-

bather were what was performed and George Clarke continued with his unique

stage presence using a microphone stand the majority of the time while also

dancing in between moments of conducting the crowd, the band and himself.

Guitarists, McCoy, Mehra & bassist Clark were more stationary throughout yet

it worked.

www.deafheaven.com

Fancy having a chat?

Give us a call for

more information

about

whatever you want

to know.

Ranting Mag

47 Yorkshire Lane

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North Yorkshire

ranting

@yorkmag.co.uk

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wide web at

www.rantinmag.com

EUROPEAN FOOTBALL

Everyone loves Ukrainian football, right? Well, whatever the

answer, here’s some Shakhtar Donetsk news

Shakhtar Donetsk drew aw ay to Stal Dniprodzerzhynsk 3-

3 last weekend and it may have cost them the league. Ischenko, of

Stal Dniprodzerzhynsk, scored in the 93rd minute and his equaliser

has now created a five point gap between Shakhtar Donetsk and

Dynamo Kyiv. Dynamo have dropped five points all season (19

wins, one draw, one defeat) while Shakhtar Donetsk have dropped

ten (17 wins, two draws, two defeats) and despite Dynamo still hav-

ing to go to Shakhtar (L'viv due to the political situation) the league

title is certainly theirs to lose.

Second is most certainly Shakhtar’s and Champions League awaits

next year but the chance to win the league back from Dynamo Kyiv

and therefore be in pot one for next year’s Champions League due

to Ukraine's current UEFA coefficient ranking of eight is slim.

This means their eyes can be averted to the Europa League and

Ukrainian Cup. Shakhtar are sitting pretty in the Europa League, in

the quarter final with a 2-1 lead against Portuguese side, SC Braga

(who currently sit fourth in Liga NOS and therefore are in a Europa

League spot). Two away goals through centre back Rakits'kyy and

striker, Ferreyra have given Shakhtar a huge boost and with their

record in Ukraine, Shakhtar should see themselves into the semi-

finals and could well make the final for the first time since 2009

when they won the last edition of the UEFA Cup against Germany's

Werder Bremen in Istanbul, Turkey.

Domestically the cup is a huge chance for Shakhtar with Dynamo

Kyiv surprisingly exiting through a home defeat to newly promoted

FC Oleksandriya 1-0 (2-1 agg). This means Shakhtar play Oleksan-

driya while Zorya who sit third, play Dnipropetrovsk who are

fourth. A Shakhtar Donetsk vs. Dnipropetrovsk final is what is ex-

pected and after losing last year's final on penalties (5-4 after a 0-0)

to Dynamo Kyiv, Shakhtar will be driven.

Being runners up in both domestic competitions last year doesn't

sit well for Shakhtar and this is a chance to change that. Yes, the

league is looking slim but they're in prime position for their tenth

Ukrainian Cup and could go all the way in the Europa League. Vet-

eran fullback Darijo Srna, young talent Viktor Kovalenko, experi-

enced Ukrainians in Pyatov, Stepanenko, Rakits'kyy and Kucher,

Brazilians in Taison, Bernard, Marlos, Dentinho, Fred and co they

have the talent.

The Ukrainian Supercup was won at the start of the season but

that, of course, will not be enough. The league can wait till 2017 but

those cups... The Miners will dig for them right till the end.