radiant magazine september/ october 2012
DESCRIPTION
Radiant is a women's lifestyle mag written from a Christian world view. Welcome to the launch issue!TRANSCRIPT
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LIVING NOW, LOOKING UP
THE CHRISTIAN CASANOVAWomen beware!
Why should Christians care for Creation?
Contentment 101 You mean I can learn to be happy ?
LIVING NOW, LOOKING UP
ISS
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*Best spring picks* For your look, your home and your plate
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Meet the model:
Latoya Mihaylova
Latoya is a 25-year-
old model living and
working in Cape
Town. Her husband,
Nasco Mihaylov
is Bulgarian and
together they own
Grace Models (www.
gracemodels.co.za),
a modelling agency
that operates on
Christian principles
– “which means our
models get paid on
time, which is rare
in this industry!”
says Latoya. The
couple have recently
become parents,
with baby Adrianna
having been born in
March this year.
We are grateful to
have had such a
radiant face, not to
mention character,
grace the cover of
our fi rst issue – Ed.
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Contents
Refl ect The Christian Casanova.....................................................p15
Moments from a mixed race marriage......................p22
9 Things not to say...to your friend battling to fall pregnant..................................................................................p25
A perfect count of chromosomes.................................p33
Refresh *Your look *Your home *Your plate Spring picks..............................................................................p5
Your beauty checklist for the season...........................p8
Completely re-nude..............................................................p11
Spring into vintage...............................................................p13
Spring fare..............................................................................p43
RenewChoosing contentment......................................................p19
Why should Christians care for creation?................P39
Great expectations of motherhood............................p29
RedeemBeing the change at Trinity Children’s Centre.........p53
Relax Kiddies craft: spring fl ower bunting..............................p51
Read, watch, play.................................................................p55
RegularsMeet the model........................................................................p1
Ed’s letter....................................................................................p3
Win.....................................................................................p8, p56
Column.....................................................................................p57
CONTRIBUTORS
Editor
Nicole Cameron
Food Editor
Lara Demnitz
Beauty Editor
Robyn Van Niekerk
Fashion Contributor
Nicole Danielle Warr
Lifestyle Contributors
Jenni Courtney
Carin Bevan
Features writers
Liza Ender
Dalene Reyburn
Carin Bevan
Natalie Mayer
Kate Motaung
Photography
Ferdinand van Huizen
Layout
Lizanne Murison, Out of the Blue Creative Communication Solutions
HannahMariya Epstein
Contents
Refl ect The Christian Casanova.....................................................p15
Moments from a mixed race marriage......................p22
9 Things not to say...to your friend battling to fall pregnant..................................................................................p25
A perfect count of chromosomes.................................p33
Refresh *Your look *Your home *Your plateSpring picks..............................................................................p5
Your beauty checklist for the season...........................p8
Completely re-nude..............................................................p11
INSIDE
EDITOR’S LETTER Welcome to the launch issue of Radiant, a magazine
written for and by women who are living now, but
looking up and fi xing their eyes on Jesus, the author
and perfecter of our faith, for every step of the way.
I am so grateful to the Lord for how He has shaped
and grown a small seed of an idea that He gave me
years ago, into a fully-fl edged magazine. I pray that
you would be entertained, encouraged and edifi ed
by this issue, and I am so looking forward to your
feedback – please send all your comments and ideas
The contents of this edition have been moulded by
an awesome group of contributors that the Lord laid
across Radiant’s path. I knew I’d found a Food Editor
with a difference when Lara Demnitz approached
me saying, “I love to cook, but I love Jesus more.
For me, cooking is an act of love and service, be
it in ministry or in everyday life.” See what tasty
spring fare she serves up on page 43. And Beauty
Editor Robyn van Niekerk’s words to readers have
never been more true in an industry known for its
changing fads: “I encourage you to be content with
the one-of-a-kind masterpiece the Lord has made
you to be. Have fun experimenting with the season’s
colours and looks, but let’s not be slaves to them.”
When it comes to features for refl ection, you won’t
be short of material. Gifted writer and blogger
Dalene Reyburn delves into the turbulent topic
of contentment on page 19, while Kate Motaung
shares some Moments from a mixed race marriage
on page 24. Liza Ender refl ects on her great
expectations of motherhood on page 29, while
Carin Bevan talks honestly and beautifully about
her little boy named Jamie in A perfect count of
chromosomes on page 33. She also seeks out some
gorgeous spring picks (page 5) – sure to put some
spring in your step! Last but by no means least,
sustainability writer Natalie Mayer challenges us to
think differently about creation care on page 39.
Thank you to everyone else who gave so generously
of their time and skill in putting together this issue.
Happy reading!
Nicole
First EditionSeptember 2012
© Radiant Magazine 2012
CONTACT DETAILS
Tel: 08� 301 6860
Follow us on Facebook and Twitter (@radiantmagazine)
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�
Nicole Danielle Warr is the editor of South
Africa’s first online vintage magazine, Vintage
Lifestyle Magazine (www.vintagelifestylemag.
co.za). She shared her vintage style tips with
readers on page 13 and tells us more about
how her mag came about below:
When and how did the idea for Vintage
Lifestyle Magazine start germinating?
I’ve always had a passion for vintage and
all things fashionable, so I decided to start a
fashion blog, which grew into the idea for a
magazine. At the time, there weren’t many
online magazines around and I wasn’t quite
sure how I was going to put all of it together.
All I knew is that it would happen, and I had all
the faith in the world – I am so grateful that it
did!
A year and a half down the line, the mag
is flourishing. What do you believe are the
ingredients for success?
I’ve always said that Vintage Lifestyle
Magazine is like my very own cherry blossom
tree. I planted it, now I’m watching it grow,
and soon there’ll be bright pink blossoms
on it! I think the key ingredients to success
are courage, passion, hard work and, most
importantly, faith.
Living a vintage lifestyle
SPRING IN YOUR GARDEN
SPRING PLANTING
TIPS Sowing the seed
Now’s the time to plant that herb patch and veggie garden you’ve been vowing to! Don’t let a small garden hold you back, vegetables like spinach, lettuce, chillies, eggplant and leeks are all compact growing vegetables. Chillies and eggplant, not to mention baby tomatoes, work especially well in pots. Support your tomatoes with a trellis and contain the plant’s growth by pinching off the growing tips when it reaches its desired size, or you could end up with a monster. Like herbs, vegetables do best if grown in a sunny position. Prepare the beds by
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springPICKS
Spring is more than just the passing
of winter or the promise of summer.
It’s sweet-smelling blossoms, birds
and butterfl ies and new beginnings.
Get yourself in the mood for the new
season with our spring picks for you,
your home and your garden – all for
under R150.
SPRING IN YOUR GARDENSPRING IN YOUR GARDENSPRING IN YOUR GARDEN
SPRING SPRING
SPRING IN YOUR GARDENSPRING IN YOUR GARDENSPRING IN YOUR GARDEN
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2
3 » Get your garden ready for spring by planting the season’s signature scent: Jasmine tree: R59.99, Builder’s Warehouse.
1 » You won’t easily forget to water your new spring plants with this pretty little watering can: R39.99, Clicks.
2 » Why not invite birds to nest in your garden? DIY hanging bird house kit: R129.99, Builder’s Warehouse.
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SPRING IN YOUR STEP
1 Don’t forget to spoil yourself this spring with this Fat Robin necklace (1) (R120, Genevieve Motley), these cheerful hair clips (2) (R29.99, Mr Price) and this pretty scalloped sling bag (3) (R69.99, Mr Price)
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digging them well over and mixing in compost. Growing from seed is much cheaper than buying seedlings. There’s a saying that “a good gardener always plants three seeds - one for the grubs, one for the weather and one for himself.” Keep the soil moist during germination and thin out the seedlings when they are big enough to handle. For a good crop fertilise with Margaret Roberts Supercharger two weeks after germination and at monthy intervals after that. To control insects spray with Ludwig’s Insect Spray or Margaret Roberts Organic Insecticide. Both are ECOCERT approved for use by organic gardeners.
Attracting birds to your garden
Creating a little sanctuary in your garden to attract birdlife is a relatively simple task. You just need to supply the birds with three basic requirements:
Food: In addition to installing a bird feeder with seed (or fruit) make an effort to plant an assortment of species that provide food throughout the year, such as seeds, berries and nuts. Indigenous fruits and berries are nutritious, and they ripen on a schedule that co-incides with nesting and migration times of birds.
Water: A shallow, rough-bottomed pool of still water with a depth between 2.5cm and 5cm is ideal. To accommodate smaller birds, add a few stones that stick out of the water for them to land on.
Cover: To create an effective barrier from the elements, mix in smaller trees and shrubs along a protected side of your garden.
For more information, read Lex Hes’s book “Attracting birds to your garden in Southern Africa (Struik).
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SPRING IN YOUR HOMEThis spring, birds don’t just have to stay in the garden. Bring them indoors with these lovely things for the home:
4 » Bird door hook: R16.99, PEPhome.
1 » Bird cage candle holder: R39.99, Checkers Hyper
2&3 » Brighten up your home with this cute and clever baking tin mirror (Jen-Jen, R100) and this mirror vase (R12.99 from PEPhome).
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2
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5 » Get your home in tip-top shape while protecting your family and the environment
from the toxins in cleaning materials. This app has great environmentally friendly
tips and tricks for common household cleaning tasks, from bleaching white
clothes and removing chocolate from the sofa to keeping insects at bay and getting rid of mildew.
Green Shine app for iphone, ipad and ipod touch: $2.99 (±R24),
iTunes App Store. Be sure to pack away your winter wardrobe properly! These boxes will keep your woollies safe and neat, while the cedar blocks will keep them fresh and fragrant and protect them from moths and moisture.
7 » Polyprop storage box: R49.95, Ackermans
8 » Large cardboard storage box: R85, Woolworths
6 » Cedar multi pack (including 6 cedar blocks, 4 cedar hanger rings and 4 cedar sachets): R99.95, Woolworths.
SPRING CLEANING
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STOCKISTSAckermans: www.ackermans.co.za
Builder’s Warehouse: www.builders.co.za
Checkers Hyper: www.checkers.co.za
Clicks: www.clicks.co.za
Genevieve Motley: www.genevievemotley.com/
iTunes app store: itunes.apple.com/za/
Jen-Jen designs: jen-jendesigns.blogspot.com & www.jen-jenonline.blogspot.com/
Mr Price: www.mrprice.co.za
Mr Price Home: www.mrpricehome.com
PEPhome: www.pepstores.com
Woolworths: www.woolworths.co.za
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SPRING INTO ACTION Your beauty checklist for the season
FOOT 911 Sandal season is around the corner and it’s time to get those
reptilian heels sorted out in 5 easy steps:
SOAK: Soak your feet for 15 minutes or take a well-deserved
bath to soften hard and scaly skin. (Hint: Add a few drops of
your favourite essential oil to aid the softening process and
treat the senses.) Dab your feet dry with a towel.
FILE: Using a foot fi le or pumice stone, gently fi le away hard,
dry skin especially on the heels, balls of the feet and toes.
MOISTURISE: Apply a good moisturiser to your feet
after fi ling and as often as required to soften the skin (Try
moisturising your feet just before bed, put an old pair of
socks on and let the cream sink in while you sleep)
Repeat steps 1 to 3, three times a week until you reach your
target of softer, smoother feet. Thereafter, repeat at least
once weekly to maintain softness.
CLIP: Gently push back excess cuticle skin; clip and fi le
toenails. (Note of caution: To avoid ingrown toenails be sure
to use sterile toenail clippers instead of scissors; clip straight
across the nail without rounding the edges or cutting them
too short!)
DECORATE: Sweep your toenails with a fresh coat of this
season’s favourite nail polishes and VOILA! You are now
ready to slip into your spring sandals with confi dence.
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WIN!VITADERM is offering Radiant readers six free hampers, worth R400 each. There are three
hampers containing their gentle exfoliator and sunscreen, and three with their enzyme
gel exfoliator and sunscreen. To enter, email your name to [email protected] with
VITADERM in the subject line. Competition closes 31 October 2012.
By
Ro
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van
Nie
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EXFOLIATE Is your skin feeling like sandpaper? Does it look dull or feel
tight? Unless you have been diligently exfoliating during the
winter months, chances are you have a few unwanted layers
of dead skin cells needing to be sloughed away to expose the
new, radiant skin underneath. Exfoliating your face and body
will remove dead skin cells, help unclog blocked pores and
stimulate blood flow which will do heaps towards
a fresh, healthy-looking spring complexion. Your
body can be exfoliated up to three times a week
with a granular body wash and loofah. (Woolworths
Invigorating and refreshing Ginger and Thyme
Exfoliating shower gel for normal to oily skin types,
R47,50 or Good Earth’s Almond Milk body scrub
for normal to dry skin types, R33,99 at Clicks) How
often you exfoliate your face will largely depend on
the product you use and your skin type. Speak to a
qualified beauty therapist or dermatologist to find out
what’s best for your skin’s needs.
Vitaderm, a proudly S.A. skincare range which combines
the latest advances in ingredient research with natural plant
extracts and essential oils boasts a fantastic Gentle Cream
Exfoliator for normal to dry skin types as well as their
Enzymatic gel exfoliator suitable for all skin types especially
sensitive or acne-prone skin where manual exfoliation is not
recommended. Email info@vitaderm to locate your nearest
Vitaderm stockist.
FRESH SCENT-SATIONS Say “au revoir” to heady winter perfumes and hello to fresh
spring smellies! There’s an array of perfumes, both old and
new, suitable for springtime. Follow this link for an informative
insight into this season’s offerings and how to go about
choosing the right one for you: www.beautysouthafrica.com/
news/302-Smell-like-summer.aspxs.
We think Gucci Flora, Jo Malone’s Light Bloom Collection, Mark
Jacob’s Spring Trio, Stella McCarthy’s L.I.L.Y, Calvin Klein’s Sheer
Beauty , Chanel’s Coco Madamoiselle EDT, Chloe’s L’ eau de Chloe
and Dolce & Gabbana’s Light Blue are definitely worth a sniff!
Your budget tight?
TRY THIS DIY AU NATUREL EXFOLIATOR: Mix 2 – 3 tsp raw
oatmeal with honey and 1/4 tsp of apple cider vinegar to make
a smooth paste. Add 1 drop of basil oil to the mixture or tea tree
oil for a problem skin. Apply the mixture onto a clean, dry face
in gentle circular movements avoiding the eye area. Leave the
mixture on for 15 minutes before washing off. For this and other
natural DIY skin care treatments go to www.essentialoils.co.za/
scrub.htm
(N.B. Speak to a dermatologist or skin care specialist before
exfoliating should you have very sensitive skin)
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HERE COMES THE SUN Protecting your skin from the sun’s harmful ultraviolet rays is
recommended all year round, but all the more in the hotter
months when our sun exposure is at its highest and UV rays
the strongest. South Africa has the second highest incidence
of skin cancer in the world so as a nation we need to be better
stewards of our skin and be sun smart! Your face, neck, chest,
tips of ears, forearms, lips, feet and hands are most likely to be
exposed daily and need protection. Environ, another proudly
S.A. skincare range with vitamin enriched products have two
great face and neck sun screens: RAD with SPF 15 for all skin
types and the Alpha Day Lotion with SPF 15 for oilier or acne
prone skin types. Vitaderm has a Refl ective Sun
Barrier cream SPF 25 for those who spend much of
their day outdoors or driving. Apply these or any
other suitable facial sunscreens under your daily
moisturiser in the morning. For lips, try Lip Sano
lip balm with a high SPF of 35 (available from most
Clicks stores nationwide). Swap your ordinary hand
cream for one with an SPF in it. Oh So Heavenly’s, In
Safe Hands Anti-Ageing SPF 15 hand cream (R24,99 at
Clicks) is perfect for keeping in your handbag! N.B.: Your hands
and forearms are exposed to the sun whilst driving so be
sure to habitually smear sunscreen onto these often
overlooked areas.
LIGHTEN UP In winter our skin needed moisture,
moisture and more moisture! As things
heat up, however, our skin will start to
secrete more oils preferring a lighter
form of moisturizer to avoid looking like
a greaseball and causing breakouts! It’s
also time to make sure that your daily
moisturiser has an SPF factor of at least
15! We suggest trying out the Vitaderm
or Environ skincare range. Go to
www.environ.co.za/find-stockist or
email info@vitaderm to fi nd your
nearest Environ/Vitaderm stockists.
FOUNDATION CHECK Liquid foundation is great
for spring and summer as
it is lighter on your skin
and therefore less likely to
clog your pores. If you tend
toward an oily skin type or
have blemishes, try MAC’s
Studio Fix Liquid Foundation
with SPF 15 for a soft matte,
natural –looking coverage.
For normal, blemish-free
skin try MAC’s Select liquid
foundation with SPF 15 or
Estee Lauder’s Light Double
Wear liquid foundation with
SPF 10 for a dewy, healthy
glow. Normal to dry skins love
MAC’s mineralize Satinfi nish
liquid foundation SPF 15 with
light to medium coverage
and light refl ective qualities
giving wearers a hint of
luminosity.
Your face colour is
going to change as it
gets some sun to it.
When this starts to
happen take a trip
down to a cosmetic
consultant for a colour
swap. In the meantime,
while you fi nish off your
winter shade, use some
bronzer on the top of your
forehead, cheekbones, bridge
of nose and neck to blend into
your changing body tone.
and forearms are exposed to the sun whilst driving so be
sure to habitually smear sunscreen onto these often and light refl ective qualities
giving wearers a hint of
luminosity.
Your face colour is
going to change as it
gets some sun to it.
When this starts to
happen take a trip
down to a cosmetic
consultant for a colour
swap. In the meantime,
while you fi nish off your
winter shade, use some
bronzer on the top of your
forehead, cheekbones, bridge
of nose and neck to blend into
your changing body tone.
Brows – bold & beautiful
Face – clean and smooth
Eyes – light beige all over; soft nude in crease; taupe powder eyeliner; light pearl on inner corners
Cheeks – neutral blusher on cheeks
Lips – soft nude pink lip liner and sheer gloss
COMPLETELY RE-NUDE
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Soft, glowing, clean, natural, romantic all
the words associated with a spring make-
up look and 2012 is no exception. Touches
of coral on the lips, neon nostalgia, whisps
of pearly metallics on the eyes and smokey,
winged eyeliners are all in, but outstanding
among all the trends is the unpretentious
au naturel dewy-fresh spring face. On how
to get this look, international make-up
artist Fiona Stiles was quoted as saying:
“Achieving this chic, minimalist effect
requires a light hand, a few expert pointers,
and the right neutral and blush shades”
Here’s your step-by-step guide to achieving this spring look
What you need:
1. SMOOTH AND SHEER FOUNDATION APPLICATION
Wait at least 5 minutes after moisturising your face, eyes
and neck before applying foundation to avoid streaking.
Sparingly apply foundation to well moisturised face with
either a foundation brush or non-latex make-up wedge,
blending slightly into your neck if necessary. Remember
to dab foundation on your lips and upper eyelid creating
a neutral base to make the pigment in your lipstick and
eye shadow pop! For even better results use an eye lid
primer such as MAC’s Prep + Prime Eye.
Conceal any spots still evident with a cream concealer
matching the colour of your foundation
Using your ring finger gently and sparingly conceal
under your eye making sure you get into the corners and
work it right up to the start of your lower lash line while
avoiding getting any make up in your eye.
Set the foundation with a light dusting of loose powder
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2. BROWS
Keep your brows natural, even bold this season and in any
season in my humble opinion. If you’ve over-plucked in the
past my advice is to allow your brows to grow back.
Brush & Fill: Comb your brows upward with an eyebrow
brush or an old toothbrush. Trim any strays. Next, gently
brush them diagonally along their length from the centre of
your face in an “upward and out” motion. Finish off by softly
filling in any gaps you may have with an angled eyeliner
brush and an eye shadow powder that matches your natural
brow colour. Top Tip: Use some eyecream to moisturise your
brows as foundation or powder will cake on any dry skin
patches.
3. BLUSHER ON APPLES OF CHEEKS
Cream blusher is great for giving you that dewy glow we
associate with spring. Try MAC’s “Lady Blush” cream rouge
(R210,00). Put a little on your fingertips, apply on the apple
of your cheeks and blend upward onto your cheek bones.
(N.B. If you do decide to use cream blusher then apply it
straight after your foundation before setting with loose
powder.)
Besides ageing slower than other skin types, oily skins have
the added benefit of not having to worry about achieving
an already apparent dewy appearance this spring! A
powder blusher is better suited to a normal to oily skin type.
Maybeline’s fit me blush in Medium Nude or The Body Shop’s
Nude Cheek Colour in 09 are great colours for a natural
tint to your cheeks! Sweep your powder brush through your
blusher, swirl onto the apple of your cheek and blend upward
onto your cheek bones.
�. BRIGHT EYES
Sweep a light, matte or slightly shimmer cream colour all
over your upper eyelid. Smudge a soft nude in the crease
focusing on outer third of eye. Blend well. Highlight the area
just under your brow with a light pearl colour. Use the same
colour in the corner of your eyes.
To define the eyes subtly, opt for a powder line instead
of pencil or liquid liner. Focus on defining the outer
third of your eyes. Starting from the outer corner of
the eye draw a thin line of taupe eye shadow across
the top of your upper eyelid with an angled eye liner
brush. Fade out the colour as you go so that it is barely
visible in the inner corners. Do the same underneath
your eye starting from the outer corner, sweeping inward
and fading it out. There’s no need to continue the line to
the inner corners of your eye. Remember to keep as close to
your lash line as possible.
Finish off with your favourite mascara on your upper
eyelashes to keep to the season’s minimalist style.
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5. LIPS
Line your lips with a nude
lip liner. (NYX waterproof
retractable lip liner in
“Nude”available at Clicks).
Glide on a matte, nude lipstick
(Clarins Sheer lipstick in
Simply Nude) and simply
top with a coat of matte lip
gloss. We love Bobby Brown’s
lip gloss in Buff, MAC’s
Prolongwear Lipglass “Ready
or Not”and NYX’s sheer lip
gloss in Shangri-la (availablle
at Clicks). Did You Know? You
can moisturise your lips with
a smidgen of your eye cream
– it’s delicate enough to use
on the lips and will help give
you a smooth and soft lipstick
application!
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HOW CAN WE AS
WOMEN PROTECT
OURSELVES AGAINST
SHATTERED
EXPECTATIONS
WHEN A GUY SHOWS
INTEREST BUT HAS
NO INTENTION TO
FOLLOW THROUGH?
THE cHRISTIAN
Casanova
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A group of women, mid to
late twenties, are sitting
around a table; some are
married, others single. The
conversation turns, as it so
often does, to the apparent
issue of there being surplus
single girls to single guys.
According to my anecdotal
statistical knowledge (ie,
hearsay) this is a worldwide
phenomenon, and never is
it more prevalent than in
Christian circles. An offshoot
of this needle-in-a-haystack
scenario is the creation of an
enigmatic breed of elusive,
eligible bachelors who
seemingly have their “pick of
the harem”, albeit a culturally
inappropriate metaphor. And,
far from staving off their
swooning fans with a giant-
sized copy of “Every Man’s
Battle”; there seem to be
an awfully large number of
NCG’s (Nice Christian Guys)
who have developed an
ongoing habit of indulging
themselves with this attention.
Moving rapidly from one
intense friendship to another,
they (unwittingly?) wreak
emotional havoc throughout
the female contingent of
their church community and
beyond.
His reputation precedes him
“Apparently, there is this one
guy, in ministry (of course),
who has the reputation
of leading every single
Christian girl in Cape Town
on,” says Lisa*. “Oh I know
exactly who that is,” nods
Carrie* knowingly. “I stay far
away from him; apparently
everyone who meets him
falls in love with him.” The
curiosity of the rest of the
group mounts. As Christians,
we dance tentatively around
the edge of what could be
called gossip. The fl esh is
dying to jump forth with
juicy accusations; we subdue
the desire, though with not
nearly as much force as we
know we should. Lerato*
adds the comment that she
knew a girl who moved into
the same street
where he
lived, just to
be near him.
Bingo! I’ve
heard that
story before; I
know exactly who
it is. But later some
of the facts don’t add up
and I realise that there is an
exact replica of this roving
Romeo preying on innocent
hearts in another suburb.
Our immediate reaction
is shock, disdain and a
pithy comment or two on
poor witness. On closer
examination though, the
questions have to be asked:
Is it all the NCG’s fault? Is he
really the big bad wolf who
should know better than to
let himself loose, knowing the
damage he will do? If there
are two sides to every story,
what role do single Christian
women play in contributing to
this scenario? And, regardless
of who is at fault, how can
we as women better equip
ourselves against shattered
expectations?
Romance by the Book
In a perfect, unfallen world
the answers are quite simple.
The single man understands
the female psyche, and
withdraws immediately
upon sensing any attraction
towards him which is not
reciprocated. He makes it
perfectly clear, through word
and deed, that he has zero
intention of marrying her or
even considering marrying
her, ever. When he is in her
company (group setting of
course), he makes himself as
repugnant as possible so that
she is repelled of her own
accord. The female, though
open to the
notion of
fi nding a
suitor, is by
no means
desperate. By
God’s grace,
she is fulfi lled in
her relationship
with Jesus and
does not complete a
mental gene-fi t test
on every single male
specimen that comes her
way.
“The problem is that I
genuinely felt that there were
enough signs from him to
indicate a level of interest,”
says Grace*, speaking of a
particular situation where
she feels she was led on by a
Christian guy in her church.
“Invitations to black tie
functions, a wedding at an
overnight location, regular
time alone; not to mention
being told that I was very
special; that if he’d met me
earlier things would be very
different and so forth,” she
says. “I honestly wasn’t sure
how he felt. I was interested,
and didn’t want to not allow
myself to invest time and
emotion when it could grow
into something – you don’t
know if you don’t go there.”
Sally* admits that sadly
she has found herself in
that exact situation more
than once. Daily emails,
single movie dates, intimate
conversations on matters
of the heart and late
evening phone calls all
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know exactly who
it is. But later some
of the facts don’t add up
and I realise that there is an
exact replica of this roving
God’s grace,
she is fulfi lled in
her relationship
with Jesus and
does not complete a
mental gene-fi t test
on every single male
ANCHOR
YOUR
HEART
THE cHRISTIAN
Casanova
By
Nic
ole
Cam
ero
n
17
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pointed towards developing
relationships; yet nothing
ever materialised beyond this,
leading to confusion on her
part. “I think I knew deep down
that if they really liked me
they would ask me out directly
– and they didn’t,” she says.
But equally, they were being
so intentional about getting
to know her on a one-on-one
basis that she thought it must
be more. On one occasion
she led bible study with a guy
where it wasn’t very likely that
they could be together…yet
he was so fl irtatious and
“couply” that it was hard to
tell if it was circumstance or
false promises. “I have to say
that all the guys were quick to
ask out the girl they liked and
are now either hooked up or
married…so there is a lesson
in there: if they like you, they’ll
ask!”
In both Grace and Sally’s
case, it’s obvious that the man
in question needed to take
on the responsibility of being
clear, of making intentions
known from the start, and
not spending emotional and
physical time with someone
they knew they weren’t able
to follow through with. “This
is complicated though, as
hanging out with someone is
how you determine whether
you want to be in relationship
with them or not – I wouldn’t
want to pressurise a guy into
saying “yes” or “no” right
from the get-go,” comments
Sally.
Grace however feels that
she probably should have
pulled back earlier, and that
she also had a responsibility to
do that, and to expect more.
“Doubting your self-worth
and wanting something you
can’t have has a lot to do
with it. It’s easier to have a
surrogate someone than no
one…loneliness and desire for
excitement play a big part;
being a hopeless romantic and
always thinking the best of
someone is also a factor,”
she says.
Sally says she could
have better guarded
her heart with loads
more prayer. “Make
sure that Jesus has
all of your heart; that
he’s at the centre of
everything and that you
keep communicating with
Him about all these potential
heartbreaks,” she says. “Thank
Him for all the amazing things
He gives; keep seeking Him in
His word; have your girlfriends
remind you how much God
loves you and how much they
love you too.”
Grace has resolved to not
give away her heart without
commitment. To not be at
someone’s beck and call;
to be wise and draw a line
quickly. Of course, she says,
this is very hard when you like
someone, and you want to
spend time with them because
you like them. “I’ve made
my peace with the fact that
Christian men are sinful too!”
says Grace. “And I’m walking
the road of learning how to
truly fi nd my contentment
in Christ, and not look to
relationships to fi nd that. I’m
looking for the right guy, not
just any guy.”
Anchor your heart
John Thomas, a boundless.
org author, adds that joy and
excitement over a potentially
budding relationship is
perfectly normal. “The
concept is God’s idea, and
it’s good. God gave us all
the potential for affection,
both giving and receiving,
so we want to celebrate it
in the proper context, not
immediately wish it away,”
he says. These hopes and
emotions need to be
anchored to Christ
however,
so they won’t
be tossed around
in all directions every
time a different wind
comes along, he says. “When
our feelings are “anchored”
– submitted to the Spirit and
in scripture – we can rejoice in
them without guilt or shame.”
This by no means makes
believers immune to hurt and
heartache, as most of us can
testify, but that which is a
result of an unanchored heart
will be signifi cantly reduced
as Christ fi lls emptiness only
He can satisfy. It is a lifetime
journey to allow our hearts to
become more captured and
captivated by the person of
Christ; so that we will be less
prone to run after everything
that seems fulfi lling, whether
it is a relationship or anything
else. The awesome thing
is that we can ask God for
wisdom when we are in these
situations; to help sort the
good from the bad, the wise
from the foolish.
someone is also a factor,”
keep communicating with
Him about all these potential
heartbreaks,” she says. “Thank
Him for all the amazing things
He gives; keep seeking Him in
His word; have your girlfriends
remind you how much God
anchored to Christ
however,
so they won’t
be tossed around
The problem is that I genuinely felt that there
were enough signs from him to indicate a level of interest
18
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I think there are a lot of lies,
misconceptions, and false
teachings that have gone on
about marriage and single-
ness. In the past, the church
has tended to lift singleness
up as more spiritual and
something to be attained.
And more recently, and par-
ticularly in Protestant circles,
marriage has been glorified
and spiritualised, and held up
as the pinnacle of relational
living. I want to speak directly
to this latter view.
Firstly, marriage is not your
reward. It is not the thing you
get once you have reached
an acceptable spiritual level,
once your relationship with
God is right, once you have
dealt with all your junk. Well-
meaning Christians promote
the marriage-as-reward view
with comments like this, “Just
keep praying...”, “Focus on
your relationship with God”,
“God is jealous and He wants
you all to himself”, “Only
when God is your everything
- your provider, comforter,
and Husband - will he give
you a spouse”, “Maybe you
need to be getting into the
Word more/doing more quiet
time/praying more/working
on your relationship with
Him before getting into other
relationships”. This is non-
sense! Those are things that
are not reserved for singles
and through you. Yes, there
are some things that would
seem to be easier worked
out while we are still single.
But I can say this because if
it were true that God keeps
you single to work on you,
then believe me I would still
be single!
If you desire marriage then
by all means bring that
continually before Him. But
remember that marriage is
not your reward and it is not
something withheld until you
tick all the boxes. Also, if you
are in a place of singleness
and you desire a relationship
and to be married, do not live
in the place of desire. Live in
the place you are in. Live it
to the full. Don’t miss out on
the incredible adventure and
the wonderful things that
being single allows you to do
because you are longing to
be somewhere else.
- married people should be
doing them just as much!
Marriage is not the thing you
get when you have attained
spiritual well-being and right
relationship with God. This
view is dangerous because
1. It puts married folk on a
pedestal as the “ones who
have arrived” - which believe
me we are not! and 2. It puts
single folk under an incred-
ible amount of condemna-
tion, guilt and worthlessness
for not being “good enough”
for a relationship. It con-
demns their relationship with
God because, if you’re not
married, obviously you are
doing something wrong and
haven’t earned a relationship
yet. Once again, this is non-
sense, and I really do believe
it is a huge lie taking down
people in the church.
Secondly, a lot of people
- naively and sometimes
intentionally - teach that
God will purposefully keep
you in a place of singleness
so that He can work on your
character, teach you things,
etc. Rubbish. I do not be-
lieve that God puts you in
or keeps you in a place of
singleness so that He can
mould you. I do believe that
in whatever place you are,
God will work in that place
and use the strengths of
that circumstance to work in
Marriage is not
your reward!
By
Va
leri
e D
uff
ield
An
de
rso
n
1�
The ticket to being content? The choice is up to you…
By Dalene Reyburn
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I always ask for the window seat when
I check in for a flight. I love everything
about flying: the take-off, the altitude
cruising, the plastic cutlery, the
landing. And I never get tired of the
small oval view of blurred runway,
deceptively inviting fluff of quiet
cumulonimbus clouds, and collages of
tiny rivers, roads and dwellings.
God-has-my-back kind of
way. Contentment is also
God’s will for you. So if
you’re churning with some
of the emotions that were
jammed into the overhead
compartments on my recent
flight, it’s worth being honest
with God and yourself.
1 John 2:16 says, ‘For
the world offers only
a craving for physical
pleasure, a craving for
everything we see, and
pride in our achievements
and possessions. These are
not from the Father, but are
from this world.’ Pleasure,
possessions, prestige. Don’t
make them your idols.
Blah blah. We know this.
Surely, then, as Christians,
we should be immune
to the dark rumblings of
discontent? Paul says that
‘if we have enough food and
clothing, let us be content’
(1 Timothy 6:8) (even if the
food comes on white bread
instead of brown).
So why aren’t we content?
I think there are two
reasons why Christian
women – saved, sanctified,
Spirit-filled Christian women
who really should know
better – still experience
pangs of discontent: choice
and belief.
Chicken or beef?
Contentment is a choice.
We choose what we think
(2 Corinthians 10:5). We
choose what we do and say.
And sometimes we make
stupid choices.
We choose to compare
ourselves to others – the
quickest way to lose joy and
confidence.
We choose to say, ‘If
I could just go here see
that meet them marry
But this weekend I flew from Jo’burg to Harare, for a friend’s
wedding, and I regretted my usual request, because it meant
that I was wedged up against the side of the plane, trapped by
two fellow passengers who were mad at the universe. I longed
to escape to the relative tranquillity of the aisle, where I could
turn my back on their caustic haranguing and pretend to sleep.
Baggage control
These two passengers were way over the weight limit. They
weren’t traveling light with two pieces of discreet hand luggage:
the thrill of adventure and calm perspective. Oh no. They had
lugged wheelie suitcases aboard full of fear, restlessness,
aggression, turmoil, sadness, impatience, impulsiveness,
depression and confusion. They were seriously not content.
Our flight was just short of two hours, and in that time
my co-travellers managed to unpack: objections to the heat,
protests about the inflight menu choice and how slow the
drinks trolley had been to arrive at our row, anxiety over a
smooth landing, resentment towards various family members,
sad resignation to being over fifty and feeling suddenly
valueless in the working world, excuses about money and
divorce and dodgy job choices, and complaints about the
governments both north and south of the Limpopo River over
which we flew.
‘Gosh,’ I thought, irritated and self-righteous, ‘these people
need Jesus.’ Until I felt annoyed that I couldn’t have my choice
of sandwich on brown bread instead of white, and deflated
because I didn’t look like the bikini model on the Thai beach
in the inflight magazine. I realised soberly that I hadn’t left
all my junk on the ground either. There was no escaping what
was in my head and heart, even though most of my reality was
30 000 feet below me.
We are not expecting to experience any turbulence on this flight…
Contentment can be defined as wanting no more than you
have. It’s being satisfied in a deep, thoroughly un-turbulent,
21
him have that buy this
work there or emigrate
– then I’ll be content!’ We
choose how we spend our
time, and how much of
that time is spent in the
presence of Jesus, whose
grace is always, in every
circumstance, sufficient (2
Corinthians 12:9). We choose
to feel sorry for ourselves,
instead of channelling
time and emotional energy
into others. We choose
to forget that the God
who holds every molecule
of the infinite universe
in the palm of his hand
is our intimate, loving
provider and sustainer. We
choose to put our hope in
politics, postgrad degrees,
husbands, careers, kids,
properties, dress sizes,
anti-wrinkle creams and
eventual dreams, instead
of in the Lover of our
souls who commands the
storms and who leads us
to safe landings on smooth
runways.
This is your Captain speaking…
God has spoken to us
through his Word, giving
us all the reasons why we
should be content. Our
contentment, then, speaks
of what we believe. Really
believe.
If we really believe God
when he says that Christ is
enough, that his plans for
us are perfect, that he won’t
allow anything to fall onto
our lives that hasn’t first
passed through his fingers,
that he withholds no good
thing from those who walk
uprightly (Psalm 84:11),
that he is perfect in love,
power and wisdom – then we
wouldn’t be discontent.
Again – where is your
hope? What are you really
trusting? I mean, seatbelts
are a nice idea and all, but if
the plane bursts into flame
or plummets to the ocean
depths, they just aren’t all
they’re cracked up to be.
I know I often need to
pray like the father in Mark
9:24 – ‘I do believe, but help
me overcome my unbelief!’
Sometimes I need to pray it
every day. Sometimes I need
to pray it every ten minutes.
It’s not about you. It’s not even about the frequent flyers in first class.
Choosing contentment is not
about our happiness (though
it’s generally a bonus perk).
It’s about God’s glory. Our
contentment magnifies his
splendour because ‘those
who look to him for help
will be radiant with joy; no
shadow of shame will darken
their faces.’ (Psalm 34:5)
When we are content –
resting and hoping in Jesus
regardless of turbulence or
emergency landings – we
are most beautiful. When
we leave our longings with
him and decide to enjoy his
limitless mercies, positioning
ourselves to best reflect
his magnificence, we draw
people to his light.
Jesus said, ‘I am leaving
you with a gift – peace of
mind and heart. And the
peace I give is a gift the
world cannot give. So don’t
be troubled or afraid.’ (John
14:27) I think if I really
understood this I wouldn’t
have an anxious day for the
rest of my life. Pray that God
would help you to receive his
gift of peace as you choose
to invest your hope in him.
His grace is duty free.
A haiku prayer
Let me be always
Undisturbed, undisturbing.
Help me travel light.
I think there are two reasons why
Christian women – saved, sanctified,
Spirit-filled Christian women who really
should know better – still experience
pangs of discontent: choice and belief.RE
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Moments from a mixed race marriage I hand my debit card to the cashier, and she recognises the
African surname imprinted on the bottom of the card. With
immediate suspicion, she lifts her eyes to meet my pale face.
“Is this your card?” she
asks unashamedly.
“Yes,” I answer.
She hesitates, unsatisfied,
and tries a different angle:
“Is your surname Motaung?”
“Yes,” I respond again.
Another hesitation. Still
unable to reconcile the
mystery at hand, she
enquires with tremendous
curiosity, “...Why?”
“My husband is a
Motswana,” is my reply.
Slowly she raises the card
toward my hand, using the
final seconds before its
return to conclude the silent
battle that wars in her mind
as to whether or not she
should call her manager.
It may sound like an
exaggeration, but it happens
all the time. Many people
cannot reconcile a white
woman with an African
surname. Apparently, to
some, it is more believable
that I would’ve stolen
someone else’s debit card
than to actually marry
someone of a different race.
Once as I was waiting to
be called into an office
for an appointment, the
receptionist entered the
empty waiting room and
walked straight past me,
certain that I could not
possibly be Kate Motaung.
The fascination is rampant.
Some people just blurt it
out: “So what’s it like being
married to a black man?”
Others think they are being
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more subtle, yet their curiosity is obvious as they just about
veer off the road while staring at us in their rear view mirror.
My husband and I have nearly caused countless accidents
as drivers try to determine whether we are actually holding
hands while walking side by side down the road.
I can’t even remember how many times we’ve invited guests
over for supper, only to have the conversation turn toward the
inevitable: “But really – what is it like to be in a cross-cultural
relationship?”
And every time, our answer is the same.
We start off by saying that we actually count ourselves at an
advantage rather than a disadvantage, since the differences
were obvious from the beginning. We knew that we were
coming from different starting blocks, so we were aware from
the time that the starting gun was fired that we’d have to
work hard to get on the same track.
Other couples who grow up in the same home town may
presume otherwise. They may assume that because they are
from the same culture, same school, same town, that their
beliefs, worldviews, customs and traditions are in sync. It is
couples like that who are more likely to be in for a surprise.
Needless to say, every home operates differently and no
two sets of parents raise their children in the same way. As
a result, even husbands and wives who graduated from the
same high school may have completely different expectations
as to how their newly formed nucleus should function.
“But my mom doesn’t fold towels like that!”
“Oh yeah, well my mom would never dream of rolling my
socks into a ball the way you do!”
“Didn’t your parents ever teach you not to squeeze the
toothpaste from the middle?”
“What do you mean you want to send our children to a
Christian school?”
Statements and questions like these are not uncommon. In
our case, because my husband and I knew that we had been
raised very differently, we worked hard from the beginning to
be very specific about our expectations, our assumptions, our
preferences, and our traditions.
The Secret Ingredient
However, more important than just good communication is
the one overarching component that makes it all tick. Without
it, we’d be in for certain disaster. That component is Christ.
Though our upbringings were as different as our skin colour,
both my husband and I have personally committed our lives to
serving the Lord Jesus Christ.
And that is what makes our marriage work.
Our love for the Lord and His Word dictates our decisions. It
However, more
important
than just good
communication is
the one overarching
component that
makes it all tick.
Without it, we’d be in
for certain disaster.
That component is
Christ.
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dictates the way we communicate with one another. It dictates
the way we function in our roles as man and wife, in our roles
as servants of Christ and one another. It dictates the way we
solve conflict and handle disagreement. It dictates how we
raise our children. And the list goes on.
Sure, we have our differences. All couples do. And to be
honest, there are some things we may never get used to.
After eight years of marriage, my husband still doesn’t
understand why this white wife of his insists on washing her
hair everyday. Nor will I likely ever grow to appreciate the
aroma of boiled sheep intestines – a so-called delicacy he is
crazy about. I have, however, learned to cook (and enjoy) pap,
samp and dombi, and he has learned to live with my love for
crayfish and sushi.
Ultimately, it’s how we approach these differences that
determines the course of events to follow. Do we sigh and
resign ourselves to the fact that we will never see certain
things the same way because of our culturally-tinted lenses?
Or do we do our best to take off those biased spectacles,
and ask the Holy Spirit to help us see things the way God
does? Do we insist that our way must be the right and only
way? Or, with the help of God, are we willing to set aside our
preferences and selfish desires to seek out the biblical way?
The recipe for a good marriage
It may look simple enough on paper, but what does it look
like in real life? Maybe I can put it this way – some of the best
marriage advice I received before I got married came from an
unexpected source. It was a short message tucked away on a
corner of a handwritten recipe given to me at my kitchen tea.
This particular friend who had written the recipe said this:
“There are many good verses in the Bible about marriage, but
some of the best advice is found in Ephesians and Colossians,
in those passages that speak about how Christians are to
treat one another.”
Think about it. What would happen if all of us, regardless of
race or cultural background, were to treat each other like this:
“... as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe
yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness
and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another
if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as
the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love,
which binds them all together in perfect unity” (Colossians
3:12-14).
If we were consistently and selflessly compassionate, kind,
humble, gentle, patient, forgiving and loving – who would ever
have a single issue or conflict to work through? I say this not
as an indictment, but rather as an encouragement to say that
in spite of our differences and in spite of our sinfulness, with
the help of the Holy Spirit, it is possible to have a marriage
that survives against all odds.
Building on the rock
For my husband and I, our
commitment to Christ is
the one component that
makes our cross-cultural
relationship possible. This
all-important foundation can
be compared to the parable
of the wise and foolish
builders in Matthew 7:24-27,
when Jesus says,
“Therefore everyone who
hears these words of mine
and puts them into practice
is like a wise man who built
his house on the rock. The
rain came down, the streams
rose, and the winds blew
and beat against that house;
yet it did not fall, because
it had its foundation on the
rock. But everyone who
hears these words of mine
and does not put them into
practice is like a foolish
man who built his house on
sand. The rain came down,
the streams rose, and the
winds blew and beat against
that house, and it fell with a
great crash.”
If both parties are
committed Christians and
have built their foundation
on the rock of Jesus Christ
and His Word, then even
when the storms of life arise,
their home will stand firm.
This is true for all couples,
whether mixed race or not.
It is in homes where the
Word of God is not upheld
and put into practice that
the real danger is found.
As the well-known hymn
puts it, “On Christ the solid
rock I stand, all other ground
is sinking sand.”
With this in mind, ask
yourself: Upon what
foundation is your home
built?
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Regardless of how
much you care, if
you’re not in the
person’s shoes, or never
have been, misplaced
advice and comments can
be construed as flippant
and even hurtful. While love
covers over a multitude of
sins, here are some no-go
areas to stay clear of when
it comes to encouraging
your friends battling
infertility, as shared by
those who’ve been on the
receiving end…
1 “JUST RELAX!”
We all know of someone
who knew someone who
battled to fall pregnant
and then, as soon as they
stopped trying/adopted/
got a new job etc…BAM!
Naturally we want the
same thing to happen
to our friends, and it’s
therefore tempting to
encourage them to take
their focus off falling
pregnant. The problem is,
explains Samantha*, 31,
when someone says you
should just relax, you hear:
It’s your own fault this is
happening, and completely
under your control. “Plus,
if there is a physiological
reason why you are not
conceiving – which there
most often is – it makes
you feel worlds apart from
the person; they are giving
you casual advice about
something you spend so
much time thinking about.”
Samantha says that much
research points to the fact
…to your friend battling to fall pregnant
Offering comfort to friends who
are struggling with a difficult issue
isn’t easy. You know you have to
say something because surely
something is better than nothing…
or is it?
THINGS NOT TO SAY
By
Nic
ole
Ca
me
ron
26
that stress isn’t actually
a factor causing fertility
challenges. “If worry was a
big obstruction, IVF would
never work. Show me an
unstressed IVF patient!”
2 “IT’LL HAPPEN…”
“The Bible makes it quite
clear that children are
a gift, not a guarantee,
so no, it might not
happen,” says Samantha
of this commonly offered
expression of support.
A friend of hers, also
struggling to conceive,
recalls being told by
friends making an annual
visit back to South Africa
that they were quite
certain the following year
they’d all be tiptoeing
around their home,
trying not to wake the
baby. Clearly they did
not possess clairvoyant
talent – the cot is still
empty, and her friend
hurt and frustrated by
those who continue to
dangle the offer of false
hope. Again, as infertility
tends to evoke feelings
of failure in women (and
is generally attributed as
being a female problem,
regardless of the reality)
these comments can
create an unhelpful sense
of performance pressure.
3 “IT’S IN GOD’S WILL, HE HAS A
PLAN.”
“I really battled with this
one,” says Rosa, who
walked a five-year-road
of infertility with her
husband, resulting in the
adoption of Raquel (now
four) and Samuel (three).
“Yes, absolutely, God is
sovereign and I clung to
Jeremiah 29:11 like crazy,
to remind myself that
He has plans for good,
to prosper and not to
harm. But I didn’t always
find it encouraging when
other people said it;
particularly when it came
from friends who had
fallen pregnant easily. “I
guess how a comment is
received depends a lot
on the context of how
it is said and who it is
from. And personally, I did
wrestle with God on why
He allowed the tikhead on
the corner of our street to
fall pregnant, when I was
married, with three empty
bedrooms waiting to be
filled with children, and I
couldn’t.”
Rosa recalls how highly
sensitive she became – she
felt isolated by those in the
church who “glamourised
pregnancy” by associating
it with God pouring out
His blessing on godly
couples. “Which is exactly
what it’s meant to be.
But in a fallen world, the
reality is less idyllic – when
you’ve been through IVF,
making a baby quickly
becomes a scientific
equation of an egg and
a sperm connecting to
form an embryo. I guess
it’s just a case of bearing
in mind that not everyone
experiences pregnancy in
the same way.”
� “HAVE YOU WORKED ON YOUR
IDOLATRY ISSUES?”
Everyone’s walk with the
Lord is personal, and
certainly, God can use
struggles like infertility to
mould and shape us. “But
when Christian friends
told me that God would
not give me something I
may have idolised above
Him, I just felt like a
failed Christian on top
of everything else,” says
Rosa. “And so, if I learn
my spiritual lesson, will
God give me a baby as
my reward? The whole
point of seeing you’re a
sinner is the realisation
that your heart naturally
places other things ahead
of God, and this is true
for everyone, not just
infertile women.” Of course
this is not to say there
is no room for spiritual
encouragement - but be
sure you’re acting on a
conviction that has come
from deep time with the
Lord. And generally it’ll
be to someone you’re
in a close relationship
with. “I didn’t enjoy it
when people mirrored
their life experiences
and perceptions onto
mine – when in fact my
perspective was entirely
different to theirs,” says
Rosa.
5 “HAVE YOU TRIED…?”
Advice on practical
solutions do have their
place, but after a couple
has been trying to fall
pregnant for a few years
chances are they’ve heard
them all, in some shape or
form. “You’ve also done
thorough research, and
when someone offers a
tip on nutrition or holistic
remedies or standing on
your head (yes really) it
makes you feel like they
think you’re ignorant or
not smart enough to have
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thought of the obvious,”
she says. “People would
ask me if I’d considered we
might have a problem…yes,
I think after five years the
thought did possibly creep
into my mind.” Rosa says
in the end she just started
reacting brashly: ‘Is three
times a day enough?’ she’d
respond to queries as to
whether they were having
sex regularly.
The reality is you are
willing to try anything and
everything. Rosa lost 20
kilograms of excess weight
when her gynae suggested
it might make her healthier
for pregnancy. “But there
comes a time when you
need to accept that God
might be saying no,” she
says.
6 “GUESS WHAT…I’M PREGNANT!”
Save the baby-ultrasound-
in-envelope method of
communicating your good
news to friends and family
who haven’t struggled
with infertility. Again, it’s
all about putting yourself
in someone else’s shoes
– how would you feel if you
had to react positively to
a surprise closely related
to your own personal
emotional battle? When
Rosa’s best friend told her
that she’d fallen pregnant
unexpectedly, she called
her privately and asked if
she could come visit her
at home. “We sat on my
bed and she said she didn’t
know how to tell me, and
how sorry she was for my
pain. We both cried and I
genuinely felt happy for
her,” she says. “Later on
in her pregnancy there
were times when I told her
how jealous I was feeling.
By acknowledging the
difficulty of the situation
from the start, she allowed
me to be open, which was
healthy for our friendship.”
Samantha agrees that
it’s all about giving some
space to be sad. “You
are not sad that they are
pregnant, but just sad
that you are not and may
never be. I think that’s an
important thing for friends
to understand. You are
happy for them but sad
for yourself.” Rosa also
cautions trying to hide the
fact that you’re pregnant.
“We’re women. We know
these things immediately!”
7 “I’M NOT COPING WELL WITH THIS
MORNING SICKNESS.”
Your infertile friends are
not the people to complain
to about pregnancy
discomforts. Just being
around pregnant women is
painful enough, and those
desperate for children
would probably say they’d
throw up for nine months
straight for the privilege of
carrying a baby. “A friend
of mine used to complain
to me that she couldn’t eat
citrus or acidic fruit while
she was pregnant. I’d think
in my head: ‘Well I can’t
have babies so boo-hoo for
you getting reflux for three
months when you eat
oranges!’” says Samantha.
8 “YOU WANT KIDS? TAKE MINE!”
There is no logical
connection between
infertility and
understanding the
responsibilities of
parenthood, but these
kind of comments imply a
sort of naivety on the part
of the woman longing to
fall pregnant; as if those
without children don’t
take advantage of their
opportunities to travel
or lie in late or whatever
other comforts are put
on hold when one has a
baby. The truth is that no
one can fully appreciate
how tough having kids is
until they themselves are
parents – and this is true
whether one conceives
after one month or after
ten years. These off-the-
cuff, softly apologetic
comments do not offer
comfort, but instead make
the person on the receiving
end feel as if their pain
is being minimised. You
wouldn’t tell somebody
whose dad has just passed
away that they should be
thankful that they don’t
need to buy a Father’s Day
card; losing one minor
obligation doesn’t even
begin to make up for the
incredible loss. In the same
way, being able to enjoy
a leisurely breakfast does
not console someone who
desperately wants a child.
� “HAVE YOU CONSIDERED
ADOPTION?”
Adoption is a wonderful
way for infertile couples
to become pregnant. But
there are many issues to
work through before this
becomes an appealing or
viable option – including
a grieving process for
the loss of a biological
child - so bringing it up
before the time is right
can be less encouraging
than presumed. “In South
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“To be honest there is absolutely nothing anyone can
say that will help,” says Rosa. “You are so hurt, so
disappointed, so sensitive and so angry that nothing
and no one can console you. Perhaps if people
acknowledged this, and said it was okay to not be okay,
then that offered comfort.” Rosa also found it helpful
when people asked how they could pray specifically for
her. At some stages she needed help with wisdom and
guidance, and then help with acceptance. “And be kind
to us. Make gentle excuses for us when we don’t want to
attend your baby shower or your child’s birthday party.”
She also advises friends to show interest in other areas
of the person’s life – perhaps if they’re succeeding in
their job, or if they have a new hobby. “Remember that
we were friends and had lots to talk about before babies
even came into the picture.”
Rosa says it’s also important to not be too hard on
yourself. “I didn’t go to Mother’s Day services for years;
you don’t have to be strong all the time.” She also found
it extremely beneficial to be honest and open about
what she was going through, to selective people, rather
than letting it fester inside. Samantha agrees that it
really helped to speak to people, especially those who
had been in the same situation. “I hope by talking about
infertility, other people who are going through it will
feel less abnormal, and like they can confide in me,”
she says. “And remember that there’s nothing like a
good series to drown out the world and make you feel
better. Watch it all day long in your pj’s and eat lots of
chocolate – whole slabs if you must!”
Most often our advice and comments stem from
a genuine desire to help our friends. We don’t want
to walk on eggshells around them, being too afraid
to speak lest we cause hurt. But perhaps we need
to realise that the best way we can help them is by
pointing them to Jesus, our friend and counsellor, and
the only one who can offer true comfort.
Africa our reality is that
you will adopt a child
that looks nothing like
you– there is zero chance
that people won’t know
your child is adopted,” says
Rosa. “And you desperately
want a baby that has
mommy’s eyes and daddy’s
nose – with adoption there
is none of that heritage.”
Rosa also makes the point
that it’s fairly easy to
have a baby naturally; you
don’t have to fill in a ton
of paperwork only to wait
and face rejection. There
probably will come a time
when your friend is ready
to walk the long road to
adoption; but wait for her
to take that first step.
WHAT CAN YOU SAY?
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By Liza Ender
As I sit down to begin writing this article, my seven-month-old gives me reason to rejoice – God has blessed her with two lungs in excellent working condition and has given her both strength and stamina to use them. Not my usual response to what sometimes seems like incessant crying and unending sleepless nights, but an appropriate response as I begin to share my expectations and journey of motherhood thus far, and my struggle and challenge to cultivate an attitude of joy and thankfulness.
Great ExpectationsA mother shares her journey…
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Every journey begins with great expectations, not
least of all this journey of becoming a parent. I will
never forget seeing our “jelly bean” sized baby for
the first time, reading Ina May’s ‘Guide to Child Birth’, writing out my ‘birth plan’ as all the books suggest and
envisioning how my natural, pain medication-free labour
would unfold in a dimly lit cosy room where my precious
baby would latch on; we’d lock eyes, and so would begin a
fine romance.
As the big day drew closer, I came back to earth with a
bump (excuse the pun) as I discovered that our baby was in
a breach position from which she had no apparent plans to
move, not even an inch, despite half hourly sessions of me
lying upside down and doing everything else at my disposal
to convince her otherwise! In God’s sovereign planning
(obviously not mine) we had a Caesarean in a room that was
all but dimly lit and cosy, with a medical student observing
the proceedings from a bench nearby (naturally!) There
was indeed pain medication, which I praise God for, however
it was so strong I struggled to discern the real from the
fantasy for nearly two weeks! As for the breastfeeding...
there are no words.
And so it was that I began to learn my expectations
would be very different from the reality that had just
bitten me. On reflection, I’m not sure how the idea even
crept into my head that I would be able to plan my future
and have control over any events that unfolded. Life has
never worked that way before. In fact, if I’d have gone to
the source of unchanging truth earlier, I would’ve been
reminded that God’s Word tells me so: “Many are the plans
in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.”
Proverbs 19:21.
The truth is that no matter how great our expectations
are, it is only our great God who knows what is written
on the pages of the future, because He is their author.
And yet, as we look to the future, and live now in light of
the future, our loving Father has told us what to expect
in the here and now and where to have our greatest
expectations...
Two and a quarter years in on this journey, I’m slowly
learning to ignore most of the “how to” books and learning
to listen to one – the Bible. For us, as Christian women,
the journey of motherhood forms part of an even greater
adventure – the race marked out for us that leads to
heaven. Here’s what God’s Word tells us to expect along
the way...
Expect brokenness and pain
We are very broken people in a very broken world. It’s true
of you, it’s true of your husband and yes, it’s true of your
precious, cherub-faced children. Genesis 3 tells us how
God’s very good world turns very bad when Adam and
Eve reject God’s rule over them and try to rule things on
their own. God responds with judgement on their rebellion
and the reality for us is
that we will continue to
taste and experience that
judgement until Jesus
returns. Take a look at
Genesis 3, especially v16;
“To the woman he said; ‘I
will greatly increase your
pains in childbearing...’”
Need I say more? Not only
will the very act of having
babies be painful, but
raising them will bring pain
and will be tough.
Our experience of
motherhood in this world
will be full of trouble,
hardship, heartache,
disappointment and grief.
“But take heart” Jesus
says, “I have overcome the
world.”(John 16:33) The
good stuff in Genesis 3 is
found in verse 15. Before
God tells Eve the bad news,
he tells her the good; “I will
cause hostility between
your offspring and hers.
He will strike your head
and you will strike his
heal.” In other words, God
promises that a baby will
be born who will crush sin
and Satan; one who will
deal with the brokenness
and misery in our world,
will take God’s judgement
in our place and conquer
death; “Where, O death,
is your victory? Where,
O death, is your sting...
thanks be to God! He gives
us the victory through
our Lord Jesus Christ” (1
Corinthians 15:55 & 57).
Expect abundant blessing; the King of the universe serving you beyond your wildest dreams
As we see God’s great plan
unfold in His Word, we see
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that the baby in the Genesis promise is Jesus, the second
Adam. In Philippians we read that Jesus who was “in very
nature God”, in complete contrast to the first Adam “did not
consider equality with God something to be grasped”... “but
made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness... humbled himself and became
obedient to death – even death on a cross!”
Take a look at John’s description of Jesus with his
disciples just before the Passover: “Jesus knew that the
Father had put all things under his power and that he had
come from God and was returning to God; so he got up from
the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel
around his waist...and began to wash his disciples’ feet.”
(John 13:3-5)
One would expect that sentence to end with Jesus
perhaps demanding some respect or acknowledgement of
how great He is, but Jesus recognises that His power and
position free Him up entirely to serve and to know He’ll
never be hard done by – after all, He owns the universe
and everything in it! Jesus’ actions in washing his disciples
feet were a picture to them, and to us, of how He, our
God and King, would serve us in the most ultimate way by
taking sin’s curse and judgement in our place and instead
place upon us His righteousness and perfection. Ephesians
tells us that in Christ, we have been chosen, loved,
adopted, redeemed, forgiven and guaranteed an eternal
inheritance. If that doesn’t leave us humbled and amazed,
nothing will.
Barbara Hughes in her book ‘Disciplines of a Godly Woman’ comments on the passage in John 13; “...Jesus
Christ had no identity crisis. He knew exactly who He was.
He knew that all power belonged to Him. He knew where
He came from and where He was going, and He knew His
purpose on earth. His humility on that day and throughout
His life was born of this confidence.” She continues to say;
“The Gospel gives us this same confidence. As children of
God, we also know from where we have come and where
we are going. Like Christ, we also know what we possess.
It is the love of God that motivates us to follow Christ’s
example and enables us to loosen our plans for our lives,
placing ourselves squarely under God’s loving rule each
day.”
This brings me to our third expectation…
Expect selfless, sacrificial service for the eternal wellbeing of others
Philippians tells us; “Your attitude should be the same as
that of Christ Jesus...”
We live in a world that esteems money and power,
influence and maximum comfort for minimal effort;
but God’s kingdom values couldn’t be more different.
In response to Jesus’ disciples request for positions of
greatness and glory, he says to them; “...whoever wants
to become great among you must be your servant, and
whoever wants to be first
must be slave of all. For
even the Son of Man did
not come to be served, but
to serve, and to give his
life as a ransom for many.”
(Mark 10:43-45)
Greatness in God’s
kingdom is selfless,
sacrificial servanthood
for the eternal wellbeing
of others. You are not
‘just a mom...’ - someone
who needs to feel a bit
embarrassed that she’s
not doing something more
impressive or stimulating.
You are a MOM!!! What
could be more important
or valuable than selflessly
serving your family,
modelling Jesus and
holding out the gospel not
just with your lips but with
your entire life?
Think about this; when
you were up all hours of
the night, whether it be
feeding a baby or nursing
a sick child, did you realise
that you were following
in the footsteps of King
Jesus? When it gets to the
end of the day – the clock
strikes thirty minutes past
five and you feel like your
head will explode if your
husband doesn’t burst
through the front door
(immediately!) because
you are well and truly ‘all
served out’... remember
that you are doing the best
thing you ever could for
your children, giving them
Christ as you model Him
in your service of them...
and be encouraged! When
you find yourself asking the
question: “Who’s serving
me?” take your eyes and fix
them on Jesus, our servant
King, and live at the foot of
His cross. As you discipline,
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Greatness
in God’s kingdom
is selfl ess, sacrifi cial
servanthood for the
eternal wellbeing
of others
is selfl ess, sacrifi cial
servanthood for the
eternal wellbeing
of others
teach and pray with your wriggle pot children who struggle
so much to sit still and listen, you are doing what is truly
honourable and glorious in our God’s sight. When you’re
never thanked until you ask your children to thank you, let
it remind you of your need to overfl ow with thanksgiving to
God. With that in mind, our fi nal expectation is to...
Expect to rejoice and know joy inexpressible
A friend of mine (a mother to twins who have, suffi ce it
to say, had an eventful fi rst three years of life) often says
to me; ‘you can’t choose your circumstances, but you
can choose how you’ll respond in the face of them’. True
and very wise words for us, but not to be confused with
the old adage ‘hope for the best, expect the worst!’ God’s
promise to us is that whatever the circumstance we fi nd
ourselves in, He is at work for our best – our gospel best,
making us like Jesus. “And we know that in all things God
works for the good of those who love Him, who have been
called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28) We see in
Ephesians that God has given us the promised Holy Spirit
who is a deposit guaranteeing our eternal inheritance. In
light of all this, we are free then to “Rejoice in the Lord
always. I will say it again: Rejoice!” (Philippians 4:4)
Peter writes: “In this you greatly rejoice, though now
for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all
kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith – of
greater worth than gold, which perishes even though
refi ned by fi re – may be proved genuine and may result in
praise, glory and honour when Jesus Christ is revealed...
you believe in him and are fi lled with an inexpressible and
glorious joy, for you are
receiving the goal of your
faith, the salvation of your
souls.”(1 Pet 1:6-9)
Dear mother, my
experience and possibly
yours too, is often that
I feel more burnt by
the refi ner’s fi re than
sanctifi ed by it; more
emptied of every inch of
life than fi lled with the
abundant life Christ has
brought me. But the truth
is that God is powerfully
at work in us, through
His word and through our
circumstances as mother,
wife, teacher, friend, sister
and daughter making us
more like the greatest
servant this world has ever
seen and preparing us for
greater glory than we can
ever imagine.
Expect great things
from our great God as
you seek greatness in His
kingdom and look forward
to glory for eternity.
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A perfect count of chromosomes
That’s our Jamie – beautiful, wonderful and absolutely perfect.
So when, a few hours after his birth, the paediatrician raised some concerns about Down syndrome, I was far more upset that he kept on referring to my beautiful boy’s “soft features” than any possible disabilities. To me it sounded like he was saying my child had “weak” or “bland” features, obviously not something a mother wants to hear. Nevertheless, when he asked if we wanted to do the blood test, we said yes. He’s the expert, we fi gured, but without any real worries. Apart from his slightly slanted eyes
“Congratulations”, the doctor said as he handed
Jamie to us, “Your son’s perfect.” And we’ve
been amazed to discover exactly how perfect.
Now four months old, he’s turning into a little boy
with a strong personality and some rather clear
opinions: He loves baths, bells and shiny things,
but hates the cold and isn’t too fond of tummy
time. The dots and stripes on his blankets are the
most hilarious things he’s ever seen. He has long
and serious conversations with us and probably
wonders why he’s only getting silly smiles and
animal sounds in return. He tries to copy our
expressions and we’re convinced he already says
“hello”.
By
Ca
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Be
va
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A perfect count of
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and small, low-set ears, Jamie showed no other signs of Down’s. He didn’t have low muscle tone (in fact, everybody remarked on how strong he is), he didn’t struggle to latch and there was nothing wrong with his digestion.
Two weeks later, the test results came. Jamie was diagnosed with Down syndrome. We were shattered. Our little boy was not perfect after all. We were in for a rough few weeks: on top of having to deal with little sleep, breastfeeding and hormonal ups and downs, we now had to deal with this new grief and anxiety.
Why were we so devastated? After all, we
had made the decision not to do the prenatal tests for Down syndrome, especially since there was no way we’d abort if the test came out positive. I knew this was God’s will and that He didn’t make
mistakes. So then why was I so incredibly sad?
The death of a dream
Before Jamie was born, I was convinced that my dream for him was a happy, healthy life and that he could be whatever, whomever he wanted to be. Which parent doesn’t want that for their child? I loved thinking that this is God’s child, that He’s merely lending him to us for a while. To be honest, it’s easy to say that when all the possibilities in the world are still open, when there are still no limits to what he can be or do. But when you’re faced with a chance that he may not
even be able to fi nish school, let alone do well at it and have a successful
professional career afterwards, you may realise that your dreams have not been as generous and unselfi sh as you thought.
I felt very ashamed one day as I looked at the guy
packing our groceries and thought, “What if this is all that Jamie could ever be?” Even if he did it with the same enthusiasm and pride as this young man, would I be proud of him? I was shocked to learn this about myself. That despite considering myself a kind and modest person, it turns out that I could be this arrogant.
After reading some articles and blogs written by parents of children with Down syndrome, I learnt that these and other horrible feelings were very normal, that it was not unheard of for parents to have thoughts, however briefl y, of “what
a waste” or “there goes my own life”. Or “what if I can’t have another child to make up for this imperfect
one?” This is apparently all a natural part of dealing with it. But as Christians we know that what is “human” and “natural” can be very far removed from what
TRISOMY 21We have 23 pairs of chromosomes in each of our cells. Sometimes, around the time of conception, an extra copy of one of the chromosomes is made so that there are three chromosomes instead of two. This is called “trisomy”.
Down Syndrome is caused by an extra copy of chromosome 21 and is therefore also known as Trisomy 21.
a waste” or “there goes my own life”. Or “what if I can’t have another
Down Syndrome is caused by an extra copy of chromosome 21 and is therefore also known as
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is godly and just. I wanted to look at my child – no, God’s child – in the same way I knew God saw him: as wonderful and worthwhile. I wanted to have a new dream for my baby: not the selfi sh, worldly dream I realised I’d had, but God’s dream, whatever that may be.
I clearly needed to change the way I saw Down syndrome, disabilities and the idea of “perfection”. I realised that I knew next to nothing about Down’s and decided to get educated.
What I thought Down syndrome was:
I knew that Down’s is caused by an extra chromosome, though I didn’t really know what this meant. I thought that people “suffering” from it had serious mental disabilities, which made them speak funny. And because they clearly had the intellect of a young child, I thought they could never lead an independent life.
On the upside, I believed that people with Down syndrome were always cheerful and happy (probably because they didn’t know any better or worse).
I also thought that everybody with the syndrome had the same
physical features.
•
•
•
OTHER FORMS OF TRISOMY
Other forms of trisomy include Trisomy 13 (Patau syndrome) and Trisomy 18 (Edwards syndrome)
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What Down syndrome really is:
Down’s is not a disability or a disease. It’s a syndrome, which simply means it’s a collection of specific features and conditions with a mutual cause. In this case, the cause is an extra chromosome (see box).
Down syndrome most often leads to mild to moderate mental disabilities, not severe retardation.
People with Down syndrome can have speech difficulties, but this is usually caused by low muscle tone and can be treated very effectively.
According to many parents, their children with Down syndrome are not always joyful and content. They are not ignorant of their difficulties and some find their physical and intellectual limitations very frustrating.
Many people with Down syndrome now lead semi-independent or even independent lives.
While there are some characteristic facial features such as the almond-shaped eyes, flat nose bridge, epicanthal fold (a layer of skin that covers the inner corner of the eye) and short stature, not every person will have all of these, and in some people it can be very subtle. In fact,
•
•
•
•
•
•
somebody with Down’s is less likely to look like another person with the syndrome, than they are likely to have their mother’s smile, father’s forehead or grandmother’s cute little dimple. Jamie’s newborn features have all but disappeared, and the only clear sign of the syndrome now is his gorgeous almond-shaped eyes and the epicanthal fold. He looks more like his dad every day (though with a hint of me, I like to think!).
Inspiration
As my misconceptions and stereotypes started to break down, I found new hope for Jamie. A turning point came when I watched Shéri Brynard’s speech at the University of the Free State’s graduation ceremony. Here was a woman who overcame whatever challenges Down syndrome threw at her in order to finish school, get a tertiary qualification and
build a career. Shéri’s story was especially inspiring because she wasn’t yet another parent trying to tell me how normal her child is. No – here was somebody who lives with Down syndrome herself telling me how much hope there is.
And Shéri’s not the only one. There are countless stories of people who have finished school, travelled the world, started their own businesses, shared their stories through writing and music, acted on screen, even landed modelling contracts. People who didn’t let Down’s get in their way of their dreams and more importantly, God’s dreams for them. Their stories humbled me and filled me with more hope and faith I could ever have imagined,
37
“ ...NOT THE SELFISH, WORLDLY DREAM I REALISED I’D HAD, BUT GOD’S DREAM, WHATEVER THAT MAY BE....”R
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with or without Down syndrome.
Hope
In today’s world, we don’t have to put children into institutions or special schools just because they have Down syndrome. My child now has the same opportunities as any other child, even if it will take more help and harder work. We have a better understanding of the disabilities and health problems associated with Down’s and how to treat and combat them. While the average life expectancy of somebody with the syndrome was around 25 years in the 1980s, it is now more like 60 years – and increasing. (The oldest person with Down Syndrome, Joyce Greenman, is 87 years old.)
I know that the future may hold some big challenges for Jamie. Yes, he may have serious learning diffi culties. He may develop leukemia, or dementia, or have problems with his thyroid. Then again, so may every other child. But just like any parents shouldn’t dwell on all the cancers and disabilities that their children may get during their lifetimes, we’ve decided to focus on the present and to deal with each challenge as it comes along. When we look at Jamie, we see a baby boy who’s terribly cute, strong, happy and hitting all his developmental milestones.
Perfection
Sometimes I do still worry, and do still cry. Last time this happened, God led me to this beautiful and well-known psalm (139:13):
“You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvellous – how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born.”
That’s when it hit me: Jamie does not, as it turns out, have an extra chromosome. He may have one more than me or most other people, but each one of his 47 chromosomes was lovingly and perfectly handcrafted – and counted – by God.
FIND OUT MOREWatch Shéri Brynard’s
speech at the University
of the Free State’s
graduation ceremony:
http://www.youtube.com/
watch?v=sFv�GqCYlbY
Read more about
Shéri’s 2012 Woman of
the Year award: http://
www.womenoftheyear.
co.za/pages/7�56813�/
News/2012/Women-
of-the-Year-Winners-
Announced-1072�5063.
asp
Read about a Christian
family’s awesome and
for the most part very
normal life with their
beautiful baby boy who
has Down syndrome:
http://noahsdad.com/
Another inspiring story,
about Ryan Pittman’s
mission work in Peru:
http://noahsdad.com/
ryan-pittman-testimony/
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OTHER RELATED SYNDROMES
It can happen that only part of chromosome 21 gets copied and attaches itself to another pair of chromosomes. This is called Translocution.
In most cases, this extra chromosome can be found in every single cell in the body, but sometimes the extra one is only found in some of the cells. This is called Mosaicism.
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Why should Christians care for Creation?Biblical reasons to go green…Natalie Mayer
You don’t
have to go too far to
hear the earth groaning.
Extreme weather associated with
climate change, rapid biodiversity loss,
rampant deforestation, depleting non-
renewable resources, waste and pollution,
and the pressure of accelerating
population growth are all urgent and
important problems demanding a
response. But should Christians
care especially about
ecological issues?
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The short answer is “yes”! Here are four Biblical reasons why
Christians should care for creation:
BECAUSE GOD CREATED AND SUSTAINS THE WORLD, AND IT BELONGS TO HIM
The Bible teaches that everything – from the sun and the
stars to insects and atoms - was created by God through
Jesus Christ.
‘In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.’
Genesis 1:1
‘Through [Christ] all things were made; without him
nothing was made that has been made.’ John 1:3
It may be a surprise to some that God did not create the
earth and everything in it for humans. Rather, he has made it
for his Son, who was intimately involved in its creation.
‘For in [Christ] all things were created: things in heaven and
on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or
rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him
and for him.’ Colossians 1:16.
Furthermore, the partnership between God and Jesus for
the created world does not end there. Instead of passively
abandoning the world after creating it, God actively continues
to sustain it moment by moment, through Christ.
‘[Christ] is before all things, and in him all things hold
together.’ Colossians 1:16-17
‘The Son is the radiance of God’s glory and the exact
representation of his being, sustaining all things by his
powerful word.’ Hebrews 1:3
Our Creator God is also the owner of his creation. Every
single thing he has made belongs to him.
‘The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it.’ Psalm 24:1
‘for every animal of the forest is mine, and the cattle on
a thousand hills. I know every bird in the mountains, and the
insects in the fi elds are mine.’ Psalm 50:10-11
Nowhere in scripture does God give up his ownership of
creation, or assign it over to us, and therefore we have no
right to treat creation however we please. Rather, as people
who love the Lord and endeavour to follow his Son Jesus, it
makes sense that we respect what is made by him, what is
sustained by him, and what belongs to him.
BECAUSE GOD CARES FOR HIS CREATION
In Genesis 1 we learn about the creation of the earth and
all living things. Sea creatures and birds are created on the
fi fth day (v20-23) and land animals on the sixth day (v24-25).
Before God creates humankind, he calls what he had created
‘good’ (v21,25) and blesses his creatures (v22). Therefore
creation has intrinsic value to the Lord - outside of its
usefulness to humans.
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In Genesis 7 we read
about the fl ood that God
brings as judgement on a
corrupt and violent world
(v11-12). God is merciful, and
saves Noah and his family
from destruction. Yet God’s
mercy extends beyond
humankind. He also saves
part of his creation – two of
every kind of living creature
are sent to Noah and are
housed safely in the ark
in order to repopulate the
earth. After the fl ood, God
again shows that he cares
for his creation by making
a covenant with the earth
and its creatures, promising
never to destroy them by
fl ood again (v13,16).
These and other Biblical
instances show that God
cares deeply for his creation,
e.g. Psalm 65:9-13, and the
earth responds in joy to his
care (v13). As Christians,
we are called to care about
what God cares about, and
imitate him. Therefore, since
God cares for the earth and
all living creatures, we must
care for them too.
BECAUSE CREATION REFLECTS
GOD’S GLORY AND IS A WITNESS TO HIM
Creation is a living testimony
to God and his glory (Romans
1:20) and just by being,
praises the Lord (Psalm
148). If we do not care for
creation as we should, we are
preventing it from refl ecting
God’s glory fully.
GOD’S GLORY AND IS
#3
Psalm 19[a]
1 The heavens declare the
glory of God;
the skies proclaim the work
of his hands. 2 Day after day they pour
forth speech;
night after night they reveal
knowledge. 3 They have no speech, they
use no words;
no sound is heard from
them. 4 Yet their voice[b] goes out
into all the earth,
their words to the ends of
the world.
Job 12:7-9
7 “But ask the animals, and
they will teach you,
or the birds in the sky, and
they will tell you; 8 or speak to the earth, and it
will teach you,
or let the fi sh in the sea
inform you. 9 Which of all these does not
know
that the hand of the LORD
has done this?
BECAUSE GOD HAS CALLED US TO BE STEWARDS OVER HIS CREATION
In Genesis, God establishes our role as human beings. He
sets us up as rulers over his creation (Gen 1:28), but it
still ultimately belongs to him (Lev 25:23). This is called
stewardship, and we are God’s stewards.
‘God blessed [Adam and Eve] and said to them, “Be fruitful
and increase in number; fi ll the earth and subdue it. Rule over
the fi sh in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every
living creature that moves on the ground.”’ Genesis 1:28
‘... the land is mine and you are but aliens and my tenants’
Leviticus 25:23
But what does this stewardship look like?
‘Rule’ (‘dominion’ in older texts) should not be confused
with domination or destruction. Indeed, as John Stott puts
it, “it would be ludicrous to suppose that God fi rst created
the earth and then handed it over to us to destroy it.” Rather,
we should rule as God rules, to allow the fl ourishing of all
creation, with justice and righteousness (Psalm 72).
‘The LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of
Eden to work it and take care of it.’ Genesis 2:15
Genesis 2:15 literally means “serve and protect” the
Garden, which is representative of creation. So our rule over
creation should be one of service and protection. We are to
carry out this role of serving, protective stewards until Jesus
returns (Luke 12:41-48).
Nowhere in scripture does God give up his ownership of creation, or
assign it over to us, and therefore we have no right to treat creation
however we please.
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THE CHRISTIAN RESPONSE
In summary,
Christians should care
for creation because:
Creation was made
by God, through and
for Jesus – and we
must respect what
belongs to him.
God cares for
creation – and we
must imitate him,
caring about what
he cares about.
Creation is a
witness to God and
his glory – and we
must not hinder
this.
God has made
us stewards of
creation until Jesus
returns – and we
are to serve and
protect the Garden
until then.
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WHAT CAN YOU DO?
Pray: Ask the Lord’s forgiveness
for the neglect of his creation.
Ask God to grow your conscience
in this area, and show you where
you need to change. Pray that
Christians would take their
responsibility towards creation
seriously, and ask for leaders and
workers in this mission fi eld. We
should be championing the cause,
not grumbling in the background.
Give thanks for the amazing
blessing and responsibility that is
creation care.
Get informed: Be aware of how you
live and what impact this has on
the environment and its creatures.
Get involved: There are numerous
easy ways to start caring for
creation. Start at home. Teach your
family and friends, and encourage
them to get involved. Volunteer
for an NGO like GreenPop or
river clean-up groups and make
a difference where you live. What
a fantastic opportunity to build
relationships with non-believers!
GREEN READS
Christianity, Climate Change and Sustainable Living by Nick Spencer and Robert White
When Enough is Enough: A Christian Framework for Environmental Sustainability, Edited by R.J. Berry
For the Beauty of the Earth: A Christian Vision for Creation Care by Steven Bouma-Prediger
Issues Facing Christians Today (Chapter 5: Caring for Creation) 4th Edition by John Stott
The Radical Disciple (Chapter 4: Creation-care) by John Stott
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Starter
I used a really good Bergdale Ham in this soup, it might be more pricey, but you only need a small amount.
Use petit pois (baby green peas) as they will not have hard skins like the cheaper frozen peas.
Otherwise if you just use normal frozen peas, strain the soup before serving.
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SPRING HARVEST TABLE MENU 1Minted pea and Ham soup, lamb kebabs with chunky salad and toasted pita breads and layered yoghurt and chocolate trifle with fruit and nuts.
STARTER (serves �)
15g butter or oil
100g (1 small) white onion, chopped
*optional* 1 large clove garlic
80g honey and herb ham
1L chicken or vegetable stock (I used 1L of boiling hot water and 1 knorr stock pot cube)
500g frozen (petit pois) fresh baby peas
1g fresh mint leaves
salt and pepper
15g flour
*optional* cream, plain yoghurt or crème fraîche to serve
Finely chop the white onion and the garlic (if using).
Heat a large pot on the stove. Add the oil or butter, and the onion (and garlic).
Cook for 5 minutes on a medium heat until the onion is transparent.
Add the ham.
Melt the stock cube in the 1l of hot water and add.
Add the frozen peas and bring to the boil.
Simmer for 2 minutes or until the peas are heated through.
Finely slice the fresh mint and add to the soup.
Using a hand blender or blender, blend until smooth.
Remove 50ml of soup and mix this with the flour, until well mixed.
Return the soup to the stove and add the flour mixture.
Bring to the boil.
Serve hot with more shavings of sliced ham and fresh mint, or a dollop of cream, yoghurt or crème fraîche.
MAIN (serves �)
For the lamb:
500g lamb leg chunks
4 kebab sticks
For the marinade:
3g fresh mint
2g fresh rosemary
2 cloves garlic
45ml (3T) olive oil
For the salad:
100g salad leaves
half a large cucumber, cubed
250g (about 20) baby tomatoes
*optional* 1 small red onion
4T plain yoghurt
Fresh mint
Olive oil
Salt and pepper
4 pita breads
You can prepare the lamb kebabs and the salad before hand.
When guests arrive you just need to reheat the lamb and toast the pitas.
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Lamb kebabs, chunky salad
and
toasted pitas
�6
leaves, cubed cucumber, sliced onion and chopped baby tomatoes.
Spoon the yoghurt into the pitas and place the skewer on the plate.
You can either leave the lamb still on the skewers for people to take off themselves or remove them and stuff into the pitas – your choice, just make sure the lamb is piping hot for serving.
Alternatives: serve the lamb with mint jelly, or a tablespoon of hummus inside the pita bread. This would also be delicious with some tzaziki (yoghurt and cucumber salad).
DESSERT (serves �)
Layered yoghurt and chocolate trifle with fruit and nuts
8 Tennis biscuits or 80-100g crunchy muesli
4 teaspoons honey
400g double cream or low fat plain yoghurt
4 tablespoons Nutella
400g (peeled) fresh fruit
80-100g dried fruit and/or nuts
Among 4 bowls or glasses, divide the muesli equally, or crush the tennis biscuit and divide.
Pour 1 teaspoon of clear honey ontop of the muesli/crushed biscuits in each glass.
Using half of the plain yoghurt (200g), spoon 50g into each glass.
Sprinkle the nuts/and or the dried fruit (I used cranberries, raisins and dried pomegranates) ontop of the plain yoghurt.
Place the 4 tablespoons of Nutella into a bowl, add the other half of the yoghurt (200g) and mix well.
Spoon this equally among the 4 glasses.
Top the chocolate yoghurt layer with the fresh fruit.
Drizzle with more honey and leave to chill before serving.
This is a versatile and low fat option of the trifle pudding. You can use any mix of dried fruit or nuts, decorating with seeds and even grated chocolate, as well as fresh or canned fruit.
This is enough to fill 4 x 250ml glasses.
If using tinned fruit, drain it well and leave out the honey layer.
I used mixed frozen berries, fresh guava, banana and strawberries.
Lamb:
Crush the herbs and garlic together, add a pinch of salt, and the 3T olive oil to make a paste.
Remove any excess sinew off the lamb and cut into 2cm chunks.
Add the paste to the lamb and leave to marinade (anything from 10 minutes).
Divide the lamb and skewer them (try not to pack to tightly).
Salad:
Cut the cucumber into cubes, halve the baby tomatoes and slice the red onion thinly. Toss with the salad leaves and season with salt and pepper.
Toss with about 1T olive oil just before serving.
Pitas:
Slice the pitas in half, and place in the toaster for a few seconds until they brown very slightly and are hot. Alternatively place in the oven for 5 minutes to warm.
To serve:
Heat a griddle pan or pan on the stove.
Place the skewers in the pan, cook for 5 minutes for rare, 10 for medium rare, 15 for well done (time might vary depending on the size of the lamb chunks, check by looking between the chunks, if still red then it is still slightly rare).
Stuff the pitas with salad
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STARTER
Basil and Tomato Bruschetta
with Red onion Relish
makes 12 (serves 6)
For the bruschetta:
1 large Ciabatta Loaf or
french stick
Olive oil
1 clove of garlic
200g mini Italian tomatoes
sprig of fresh basil or 4
Tablespoons basil pesto
salt
For the red onion relish:
1 tablespoon olive oil
10g butter
150g (1 large) red onion,
sliced
4 teaspoons brown sugar
4 teaspoons vinegar
4 teaspoons water
Start with the relish:
Heat the olive oil and butter
together in a small pot. Add
the slices of onion and cook
on a medium heat for 5
minutes.
Turn stove on to hottest heat
and add the sugar to the
onions. Cook for 2 minutes.
Add the vinegar and water,
and season to taste.
Cook for a few minutes until
thick and syrupy.
Slice the bread into 10 peices.
Brush each side of the bread
with olive oil. Rub a garlic
clove on each slice (optional).
Heat a grill pan or frying pan
and toast each side of the
bread slices.
Roughly chop the tomatoes
and place in a bowl. Shred
the basil (if using leaves) into
the bowl and season.
Spread the basil pesto (if
using) onto the bruschetta,
top with the tomatoes and a
small teaspoon of red onion
relish.
Drizzle with olive oil and
serve.
MAIN
Honey and Almond Chicken
with Red cabbage Coleslaw
on Boiled baby Potatoes
serves 6
For the chicken:
550 - 600g (5 or 6) skinless
and boneless chicken breasts
2 tablespoons olive oil
2 tablespoons sesame oil or
20g sesame seeds (optional)
100g almonds, skinned or
unskinned
4 tablespoons honey
5 tablespoons soya sauce
10 tablespoons (150ml) water
For the coleslaw:
400g red cabbage
300g carrots, peeled
(about 6 medium
sized)
60g raisins, chopped
juice of 1 lemon
2T olive oil
2T mayonnaise
(optional)
salt
To serve:
18 (about 900g)
boiled baby
potatoes
Prepare the
coleslaw first, as
it is best served
slightly chilled.
Slice the red cabbage
so that it come out in little
slivers.
Peel and grate the carrots
and mix it with the red
cabbage, in a bowl.
Roughly chop the raisins and
add this to the bowl.
Squeeze in the juice of the
lemon and add the olive oil.
(The mayonnaise makes
it more juicier, but can be
omitted to make a healthier
coleslaw).
Season and leave to chill.
While the coleslaw is in the
fridge, put the potatoes on to
the boil in cold water,
this will take about 20
SPRING HARVEST TABLE MENU 2
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minutes until they are fork
tender.
Slice the chicken and set
aside.
Heat a large frying pan on
the stove, add the olive oil
and add the chicken.
Cook the chicken for 5 to 8
minutes until cooked through
and no longer pink inside.
While the chicken cooks,
place the warmed sliced
potatoes onto 6 plates.
Add the honey, soya sauce
and the roughly chopped
almonds to the chicken. Add
the sesame oil or seeds (if
using).
Cook until the chicken is
coated well and the honey
has made the sauce sticky, a
good 2 minutes.
Add the water and mix well.
Divide the coleslaw between
the 6 plates, and place on top
of the sliced potatoes.
Top with the chicken and a
few nuts on each plate, and
drizzle with the pan juices.
Serve immediately.
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DESSERT
Strawberries and Cream Stack with Chocolate syrup.
Serves 6:
1 packet puff pastry (600g)
250ml cream
2 Tablespoons icing sugar
500g fresh strawberries
200ml of chocolate or fruit syrup.
Cut the pastry into 12 equal rectangles:
Unfold the pastry so that the longest side is closest to you, and
it lies horizontal.
Slice the pastry in half, so you have two squares.
Divide each square in 3 so you have 6 rectangular pieces
altogether.
Cut these rectangles horizontally in half, so that you have 12
rectangles (not 12 long strips).
(they will be about 3cm wide, and about 10cm long).
Brush with milk or beaten egg or egg yolk.
Cook in the oven for 15 to 20 minutes, until risen and
golden.
Slice the strawberries or halve them.
Whip the cream with the icing sugar.
Place a bottom slice of puff one each plate.
Spoon 2T cream ontop and layer some of the strawberries
ontop.
Place the another slice of puff on top.
Decorate with more fruit.
Serve with chocolate or fresh fruit syrup and/or lashings
of icing sugar.
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The se7en + 1 team over at www.se7en.org.za demonstrate this kiddies’ craft on how to make paper flowers and turn them into pretty spring streamers...
We started with a sheet of paper to work on and markers. And to keep the flowers small, you know slightly contain the exuberance; we used Post-it-Notes. We drew some invisible flowers with crayons and then drew over them with markers. And then still with white wax crayons we moved on
Spring flower bunting
to watercolours. And finally we did some potato prints.
The trick with a good sharp edged print is:
Cut your potato in half;
Then score your potato about a centimetre from the top and about a centimetre into the potato;
Then cut your shape carefully from the top and the leftovers should just fall away;
And you are done.
Then we needed centres for our flowers…So each child took a heap of little tiny post-it-notes in very subdued colours, not insect attracting or anything and stuck a bunch on their work page. Then with puff paints and glitter we made a heap of circles – flower centres. And we left everything to dry overnight.
Cut, cut, snip, snip… and we are left with fields and fields of little flowers. And don’t forget the tray of the centres for the flowers.
Finally, we chose some
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1. Use pinking shears (zigzag scissors) to cut the fabric so you don’t need to hem it.
2. Use eyelet pliers to punch holes in the top two corners of the triangles and insert metal eyelets.
3. Use ric-rac instead of bias binding to feed the triangles on to, to prevent them from sliding around.
(Source: www.homemade-gifts-made-easy.com)
string – I had some left over pretty streamers… and we laid the flowers in stripes, alongside the string… Place a dab of clear glue on each flower and then place the string on top of the flowers.
Lastly, put a blob of glue in the centre of each flower, on top of the string. Place a flower center on top (string sandwich!) and leave it to dry. And now we have se7en flowery spring streamers and we are ready and waiting for Spring to catch up with us.
What I love about this craft is that it is easy for all ages, requires very little help and can be adapted for any number of shapes and styles. Butterflies, Stars, Handprints, whatever.
About the se7en+1 team: We are a Christian home-schooling family with se7en + 1 kids, living in Fish Hoek, Cape Town and love sharing our life and times… our day to day adventures, travels, crafts, school ideas, recipes and day to day fun on our blog.
Easy No-sew adult bunting
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It’s 12:30pm and TCC’s first
intake, 15 vulnerable children
aged 3-5, are sleeping
soundly on their mats in
the small church building
that the centre operates
from. Looking at their
peaceful little faces, it’s hard
to imagine that these are
children rendered vulnerable
by many factors – from low
income, to absence of their
parents, to substance abuse
and gangsterism in their
communities, to sexually
or physically abusive
adults in their households.
“On a Monday they’re
always exhausted after the
weekend – many are up till
two in the morning, running
around the neighbourhood,
while their parents are out
partying,” Alexa says. A
delicious aroma fills the
room. “Today they had
chicken breyani for lunch.
We give them a hot meal in
the middle of the day as well
as other nutritious snacks;
when they first joined some
of the children were gaining
a kilogram a week!”
A vISION TO UPLIFT A cOmmUNITY TCC’s aim is to provide
exceptional education and
care five days a week for
those who need it most.
The children can enjoy
a safe, clean classroom
and playground, with age-
appropriate activities
and regular outings. They
also receive medical
attention and the children’s
families are supported and
monitored. “Our vision is
to grow by one class every
year until the centre can
accommodate 200 children
from age 3 to 13 – preschool
to Grade 7,” explains Alexa.
Of course, this kind of work
does not come without its
challenges. There are the
logistical demands – working
Alexa Van Wyk is a social worker who
spent the early part of her career working
with victims of human trafficking. Seeing
the devastating effects on the children of
these vulnerable women, as well as how
their own broken homes often led them
to pursue a lifestyle of destruction, Alexa
decided the change needed to start a lot
earlier. Trinity Children’s Centre is an early
childhood development centre based in
Mitchell’s Plain, a massive township on the
outskirts of Cape Town, which Alexa co-
founded in January 2012. We visited her to
find out more...
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with the Council to secure additional land, going through
the necessary red tape to meet educational regulations, and
raising funds for growth. Alexa says their partnerships with
supportive churches and other networks have been invaluable
– a team from a suburban church came in and planted a
lawn for them; an uncommon feature in the otherwise sandy
terrain. “The grass has really drawn the crowds. Some of the
children have asked in amazement, ‘Is this real grass?’!”
LIGHT IN THE DARkNESS
For Alexa, working in the community and being so close to all
the brokenness around her has been difficult. “As you get to
know the kids, you can’t help but feel deeply sorry for them.
And while the children change quickly, you can’t expect the
same from their parents.”
But, in the same way, the hardest part of being involved
at TCC is also the most exciting. “To be a part of starting
something small, and to see the change happen, is incredible.
It’s a privilege to share our lives with these children and have
the opportunity to model for them a life that’s built on the
solid foundation of Jesus Christ.”
BEING THECHANGE
To get involved with TCC or
find out more, visit www.
trinitychildrenscentre.co.za.
There are opportunities to
help sponsor a child, and
also to give of your time
or professional services
(medical, IT etc).
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In May 2008 Dalene Reyburn discovered that her six-week old baby had congenital cataracts and micropthalmia, which means he was blind and the prognosis wasn’t good. Love, prayer and concern poured into their lives from friends, family and strangers on pretty much every continent of the world. Her sister suggested she start a blog – the easiest way to keep people updated in terms of doctors’ decisions, surgery dates etc.
Meet the Bloggercelebrating life and growing
younger on the inside…
56
Writing has always been my catharsis – until I’ve written
about something I know that I haven’t come to terms with
it, and so blogging was an outlet that brought healing and
perspective.
It got quite a reaction. I realised that God was using my
blog to encourage people and draw them to himself. I was
amazed, excited and humbled to see how he was using the
internet to spread our story and to minister to people I’d
never met and probably never would meet, from all over
the world. I realised he was also using my blog to minister to
some of our closest friends and family. I felt more and more
compelled to blog. I became a lot more intentional about it. I
loved it.
Just before our second son was born, I started a new blog,
Celebrating Life, archiving the antics of our boys, and then in
September 2011, when I realised there was more on my heart
I started Growing Younger on the Inside.
What has surprised you most about being part of the
blogosphere?
I’ve been surprised by how much people respond to honesty
and vulnerability. How blogging creates magical accessibility
between strangers and friends, places near and remote. How
even “famous” bloggers (big names with lots of followers)
have been willing to interact with me now and then in the
blogosphere.
When do you fi nd time to blog? Do you aim to blog a certain number of posts a week?
In an ideal world I would blog every day. (In an ideal world I would also get eight hours of uninterrupted sleep every night.) I try to post at least once a week if I can. Usually my writing happens late at night when the boys are asleep, the house is quiet and my husband Murray keeps the tea coming…
What advice do you have to women wanting to start/build up a blog readership?
Be specifi c. Make sure you know what you’re passionate about and what you want to say. Be real. Practise. Your writing must be excellent and worth your readers’ time.
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PASSION WORLD TOUR 2012
Join Louis Giglio, Chris Tomlin, Matt Redman and Christy Nockels in the
Passion World Tour worship gathering taking place in Pretoria on 26
September, Durban on 2 October and Cape Town on 6 October Tickets are
R250 at the gate. WIN! Radiant has ten Passion Tour tickets up for grabs.
Simply email [email protected] with “Passion” in the subject line.
DALENE’S TOP 10 BLOGS: ·Jaci Mun Gavin · Brian Louw · Bruce Collins ·Jon Acuff ·Tamara Lunardo · Jeff Goins (did his online blogging course – brilliant) · Tom Hamilton ·Jamie Wright· Shae Bloem · Clint Archer
CHRISTIAN BOOK DISCOUNTERS RECOMMENDS:
Finding God’s path through your trials: His help for every diffi culty you face
By Elizabeth George, R130
This book acknowledges the hard times we all face and reveals how people can “count it all joy,” including
understanding that trials are not punishment and realising that God’s grace is suffi cient in them. George
encourages people to turn to Jesus, where they will fi nd hope, joy and meaning in the journey, no matter
how bumpy it seems.
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A creature great and small
About a year into our marriage my husband
and I decided to take a step towards
responsibility and get our fi rst
pet. Actually, it had very little to do with
responsibility; and was more of a joint whim,
but motives aside we soon ended up with the
stripiest little grey tabby kitten we’d ever set
eyes on. Over the subsequent months, our new
fur kid Milly was to worm her way into our
hearts in a way we never thought possible.
My husband spent endless hours careering
around our fl at with Milly chasing a ribbon on
the other end, and I encouraged her to sleep
next to my pillow and indulged her in all kinds
of bad habits; such as drinking from a water
glass as opposed to a normal “cat bowl”.
Our camera overfl owed with Milly photos
– Milly on the couch, Milly on her scratch post,
Milly playing with a mini soccer ball -and our
conversations were peppered with pet anecdotes
for anyone who would give ear. As my friends
shared their stories about their babies, so I shared
Milly stories. I knew it was ludicrous, but sometimes I
really did feel that a child would never be able to compete
with the affection I held for this animated little fur ball. I often
felt that if anything ever happened to her I didn’t know what I’d do.
Fearing the loss of earthly things that we feel contribute towards our
contentment is something I often repent of. I am always expecting the worst
when I get an unexpected call. I often imagine the shock of losing loved ones.
I prayed to God on the dusk of a beautiful Tuesday evening and my heart was
fi lled with an overwhelming sense of joy that no matter what happened, He
was enough. It came out of nowhere and I was moved to tears. A few hours
into a Tuesday evening, an urgent knock took us to our front door. A grey cat
had been run over. Was it ours?
When I fi rst started writing this column, it had been six weeks since Milly
left our lives. In that time, I came to be amazed afresh at the kindness of the
God we serve. I truly believe that one of the reasons He gives us pets is so
that we can experience death more gently. In the space of a few weeks I got a
snapshot of human grief, passing through all the typical stages, from shock (I
felt no emotion for the fi rst twelve hours) to anger (yes, I admit I held my fi st
up at God for taking the life of this small animal) to hole-in-the-heart sadness
and to what is now faded, soft sadness. I don’t for a minute think God let this
happen because of what I see as my secret fear-of-loss sin (Thank God He
isn’t like that!) but His ways are higher than ours and in it I did see how He
worked to the good, strengthening
relationships with our neighbours
and deepening my understanding of
His faithfulness.
And the silver lining is that
CS Lewis himself entertained the
notion that our pets might go to
heaven! In The Problem of Pain
he makes a guess that if God
wills our perfect happiness, if we
need Spot or Tiger (or Milly) to be
perfectly happy in heaven, they
will be provided. Scripture does
not deny the possibility, so I live
in the imaginative hope that my
perfected little kitty with give the
Lord glory with every stretch, leap
and purr!
WARNING: recommended
reading for pet-lovers
only!
By
Nic
ole
Ca
me
ron