project management and emotional intelligence · 2 véronique m. oury • consultant, trainer and...
TRANSCRIPT
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Project Management and
Emotional Intelligence PMI Meeting
Helsinki, May 2018
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VéroniqueM.OURY
• Consultant, trainer and coach in project management and
interpersonal skills at IIL
• MScA, PMP, Prince 2 certified, Licensed Human Element
Practitioner, MBTI Practitioner,
Change Management certified, Emotional Intelligence certified
• 20 years of experience in Aerospace, IT, R&D, public sector
and various industries in Canada and France
• Passions: psychology, arts
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• Theperfectleader’sstruggle
• But…Aren’twetalkingabout
Emo?onalIntelligence(EI)here?
• Beingthebestversionofyourself
Today’sAgenda
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Part1–Theperfectleader’sstruggle
Part2–But,aren’twetalkingaboutEmo)onal
Intelligence(EI)here?
Part3–Beingthebestversionofyourself
Today’sagenda
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ThePMLeader’sClassicSurvival“Toolbox”andOther
ToolsthatareMoreandMoreSuccessful
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ButSomeSyndromesAreBecomingWorse…
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AndtheSameQues)onskeepCroppingup…
DoIreallyhave
tostruggleso
muchwith
conflictsbetween
myownvalues,
theonesofmy
hierarchyorthe
onesofmy
teamstobecome
agreatleader?
«DidIusetheright
leadershipstyleat
therightmoment
withtheright
person?»
«Doesthistrick,orthatone,
workwithanyone,inany
culturalenvironnent?»
Howcomemyboss
sentmetoa
leadershiptraining
whenheissuchabad
leaderhimself?
«Iamsoafraidofmoving
tosympathyandnotbe
abletomanagethe
emo?onsofmyteam
memberssoIratherkeep
mydistance»
«Icannotwear
thesemasks
anymore…»
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• Intelligent use of our emotions to help us navigate social situations.
• A conscious effort where a person…
• Identifies the current emotional state
• Determines the emotional trigger or source of the emotional state
• Chooses a reaction from a range of possibilities
Marcia Reynolds, Outsmart Your Brain, 2004
Defini)on:Emo)onalIntelligenceis…
IQ gets you through school, but EI gets you through life!
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Emo)onalIntelligence:FiveComponents
Mo)va)on
Intrapersonal
intelligence
Interpersonal
intelligence Empathy
Socia
l Skills –
Effe
ctive R
ela
tionsh
ip
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The ability to recognize and understand your moods, emotions and drives, and
to understand their impact on your behavior and decisions, and their effect on others.
Likely Outcomes:
• Self confidence
• Realistic self assessment
• Self-deprecating sense of humor
SelfAwareness
The more you understand yourself, the more you can improve the impact you have on others.
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Self-awareness.Aprac)caltool!
CONTROL INCLUSION OPENESS BEHAVIOR
Feeling (influencing the bahavior)
Interpersonal
fear
Low High
Important Competent Likable
Ignored /
abandoned Humiliated /
embarrassed
Rejected
/ unliked
Source:L’ElémentHumain,WillSchutz,
InterEdiBons
Low High Low High
Souplesse/rigidité
Source:L’ElémentHumain,WillSchutz,
InterEdiBons
Modelexplaining(in)compa)bili)esin75%ofthecases
Theenemy=rigidi)es
I belong to the PMI, Direction board, …
Delivering projects, coaching, training,
I share my « secrets »
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q DenialCri?c
q DemanderHelper
q Vic?mMasochist
Self-awareness.Whatareyourfavoritedefense
mechanismswhenexperiencingfears??
Source:L’ElémentHumain,WillSchutz,
InterEdiBons
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q Denial!
Noneofthem?Yourfavoriteoneiscertainlythe…
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Self-awareness.Aprac)caltool!
CONTROL INCLUSION OPENESS BEHAVIOR
Feeling (influencing the bahavior)
Interpersonal
fear
Low High
Importan
t
Competent Likable
Ignored /
abandoned Humiliated /
embarrassed
Rejected
/ unliked
Source:L’ElémentHumain,WillSchutz,
InterEdiBons
Low High Low High
Souplesse/rigidité
Source:L’ElémentHumain,WillSchutz,
InterEdiBons
Modelexplaining(in)compa)bili)esin75%ofthecases
Theenemy=rigidi)es
I belong to the PMI, Direction board, …
Delivering projects, coaching, training,
I share my « secrets »
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The ability to control or redirect disruptive impulses and moods.
The propensity to suspend judgment, and to think before acting.
Likely Outcomes:
• Trustworthiness and integrity
• Comfort with ambiguity
• Openness to change
SelfRegula)on
Control your emotions so they don’t control you.
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DifficultyWhenTryingtoRegulateOneself:
TheScienceBehindEmo)ons
Brain Stem § Temperature
§ Breathing
§ Heart Rate
§ Reflexes
Amygdala
§ Feeling; emotional memory
§ Emotional learning
Neo-Cortex § Thinking; IQ resides here
§ Working memory (i.e., analysis,
planning, decisions, reflection, creativity)
Our Brain’s Wiring Causes Us to Feel Before We Think – Emotions Before Thought; “Amygdala Hijack”
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Self-Regula)onStrategy–S.O.S.S.
• …To counter Amygdala Hijacking, we want to use the “whole” brain – the thinking and feeling parts working together.
• Use the feeling part (Amygdala) as an early warning system.
• Use the thinking part (Neo-cortex) to employ the S.O.S.S. strategy:
• Stop – step back from the trigger – take a “time out”
• Oxygenate – Amygdala shortens your breath
• Strengthen Appreciation
• Seek Information – it is information your thinking mind needs in order to over-ride your Amygdala
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A passion to work for professional goals that go beyond money or status.
A propensity to pursue goals with energy and persistence.
Likely Outcomes:
• Strong drive to achieve
• Optimism, even in the face of failure
• Organizational commitment
Mo)va)on
Motivation fuels your aspirations and learning experiences.
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• Instrumentalmo)va)on()tle,money,advantages,…)
• Managerialmo)va)on(leadpeopletorealizethingsinaccordancewithone’svalues)
• Community-relatedmo)va)on(workwithfriends)
• Professionalmo)va)on(toincreaseone’sknowledge)
4EasilyIden)fiableMo)va)ons–anOldModel
Source:inspiredfrom«Les4typesd’engagement»fromVincent(Ch)in«Développezvotrepouvoirparl’analysetransac)onnelle,»,Edi)onsd’Organisa)on,Paris,in1988
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Mo)vate,AccordingtoHarveyFirestone
"I noticed that the money was never enough to
make the valuable men act. What tempts them, is
the risk, the wrestling, the possibility of overcoming,
of surpassing oneself. All the competitions have no
other mobile than that one: the desire to excel and
to assert its importance".
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SELF-AWARENESS
SELF-ESTEEM
Rigidi)es
Strengths
SELF-REGULATIONANDSELF-
ACCEPTANCE
+MOTIVATIONS
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“All behaviors come from the
self-esteem”, (Will Schutz)
- I am not afraid to look at me clearly. I am
aware of thoughts and emotions and I know
what is happening in me
- I am not aware and I don’t really know who I am
or what I do
- I feel the joy coming from my potential
Weak self-esteem, some examples
- I feel powerless… I am a victim of the fate, of
coincidences, of the environment, of the
economy, of the variable economic climate and of
other persons
- I feel insignificant…
- I feel incompetent, not responsible, one cannot
count on me…
- I am not an amiable person. If people were
knowing me …
- I am furious against myself when I fail
- I am hard and demanding and use this as the
reason why people don’t like me
- I don’t know why I am doing certain things that
generate problems… such as criticizing others
and circumstances for bad emotions
High self-esteem, some examples
- I talked directly to people instead of talking in
their back.
- I feel competent to confront the situations that
are difficult for me.
- I feel important, hence I do not demand
attention. And I understand my impact on
others.
- I feel amiable. I’d rather be appreciated but if I
am not, I know I am still “amiable”.
- I can follow orders without resentment and
give some without guiltiness or fear of
punishment.
- I accept critics and make good use of them.
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The ability to understand other people from their perspective.
Skill in treating people according to their emotional reactions,
by adapting your thoughts, decisions, and actions.
Likely Outcomes:
• Cross-cultural sensitivity
• Expertise in building and retaining talent
• Service to others (e.g., customers)
Empathy
Respond better to others through understanding and sensitivity.
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EmpathyandSympathy
• Sympathy – A relationship in which whatever affects one person affects the other in a similar way (e.g., You’re frustrated; therefore, I’m frustrated).
• Empathy – The identification and understanding of the thoughts or feelings of the other (e.g., I can see that you are frustrated. What is frustrating you?).
• Over-using Empathy may appear as too soft, a push-over, or too close to someone and unable to act objectively.
• Under-using Empathy may be less caring (or tolerant) of others, focused on “results” only, uncomfortable with people’s issues, and may find personal needs (and small talk) an inappropriate topic at work.
Strike a balance: understand the context within the sphere of influence
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Proficiency in managing relationships and building networks with others, the community/society.
An ability to find common ground and build rapport.
Likely Outcomes:
• Effectiveness in leading change
• Persuasiveness; Motivating; Influencing
• Expertise in building and leading teams
SocialSkills–Effec)veRela)onships
Make strong, long-lasting relations with others and effectively manage any conflicts.
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Emotional Intelligence…
• Helps motivate and inspire you toward fulfilling your goals and ensuring alignment with your values…
• Helps face your fears – or at least not be impacted unconsciously by them
• Improves your ability to influence, persuade, and collaborate with others…
… to perform better
… to achieve accomplishments
Helps become the best version of yourself!
SummaryBenefits
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• Harvard researchers took a cross-section of graduates from
law, medicine, and business and tracked them for 30 years
to identify indicators of success.
• “Success” was defined by professional achievement in their
prospective fields as well as stability and sustainability in key
relationships.
• Findings: Emotional Intelligence (EI) accounted for more
than double that of IQ and Technical Skills combined as a
predictor of professional success.
PredictorsofWorkplaceSuccess
“Emotional intelligence isn’t a luxury you can dispense with in tough times. It’s a basic tool that, deployed with finesse, is key to professional success.”
Harvard Business Review, April 2003
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While IQ is relatively fixed – at age 16,
our levels of IQ become fairly concrete.
Emotional intelligence can be learned and
improved at any age.
TheGoodNews...
The Bad News. . . The higher the IQ, the higher the chances to be
hypersensitive, and be highjacked by our
amygdala.
High IQ or not, the only chance to be a successful
leader is to work on EI to become one’s best version
and simply be remarkable… !
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hYps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=veEQQ-N9xWU
Theartofbeingyourself|CarolineMcHugh|TEDxMiltonKeynesWomen
From2’50’’to5’30’’
BeingtheBestVersionofYourself…InPictures
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QUESTIONS?
« The greatest victory is the one wan over oneself, Alexandre Legrand"
"
"
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Intelligence–Integrity–Innova)on
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Emotional Intelligence, conference, IIL
L’intelligence émotionnelle, Daniel Goleman, 1995
The art of being remarkable, Yann Girard, 2015
L’art de diriger, Joseph L. Badaracco, Jr. (HBR)
L’Elément Humain, Comprendre le lien entre estime de soi, confiance et performance, The Human Element, Will Schutz, 2006
Simon Sinek “Why good leaders make you feel safe”, TED, 2014
La guérison des 5 blessures, Lise Bourbeau, 2015
“Outsmart Your Brain”, Marcia Reynolds, 2004
Les 4 types d’engagement from Vincent (Ch) in Développez votre pouvoir par l’analyse transactionnelle, 1988
Trop intelligent pour être heureux, L’adulte surdoué, Jeanne Siaud Facchin, March 2015
Adultes sensibles et doués, Odile Jacob editions, Arielle Adda and Thierry Brunel, February 2015
BiographyandReferences
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