parenting styles and its outcomes

8/9/2019 Parenting Styles and Its Outcomes

1/23

PARENTING STYLES AND ITS

OUTCOMES


2/23

God Longs for a partnership with parents

'Behold, I stand atthe door and knock;if anyone hears My

voice and opens thedoor, I will come into him and will dine

with him, and hewith Me.

- Revelation 3:20


3/23

What is your definition for parenting?

We know that the waychildren are parented

when they are younginfluences the type ofpeople they become.Why?

A Kentucky father of a teenage boy says his hardest job

is getting his son to realize that no is a complete

answer.

the rearing of children:the methods, techniques, etc.,

used or required in the rearing of

children


4/23

What responsibilities do parents have for their children?

Parents to Be God's Representatives

Every family in the home life should be achurch, a beautiful symbol of the church ofGod in heaven. If parents realized theirresponsibilities to their children, they wouldnot under any circumstances scold and fretat them. This is not the kind of educationany child should have. Many, many childrenhave learned to be faultfinding, fretful,scolding, passionate children, because they

were allowed to be passionate at home.Parents are to consider that they are in theplace of God to their children, to encourageevery right principle and repress every

wrong thought. E.G.White CG p. 480


5/23

Take our parenting style quiz to see what kind of parent you are

1 .Your son hits another child at basket ball practice. You would...

a) get mad and tell the other boy to hit him backb) ignore them and just let them fight or play

c) tell him that it is not right to hit people, make him apologize, and takeaway a privilege if this is a repeat offense

2.Your son and his friends have made a big mess in your playroom and nowwant to go play outside.You would...

a) yell at them and make them clean up

b) let them go out and clean up yourself

c) help them clean up by making a game out of who can pick up the mosttoys

3. If your pre-teen daughter wants to rent an R rated movie that her friendshave all watched, you would...

a) get angry and tell her she can't rent any movies

b) let her watch it

c) say no and help her find a more age appropriate movie


6/23

4.Your daughter is putting off going to bed because she says that she wantssomething to eat, and you...

a) get mad and make her go to bed hungry

b) let her eat whatever she wants

c) let her have a nutritious snack, but tell her that she will have to start eatingmore at dinner so that she isn't hungry at bedtime

5. When your kids don't do their chores you...

a) get mad, yell and make them do them right away

b) do them yourself

c) give them a helpful reminder that they need to be responsible and do theirchores

6. When your kids whine and have tantrums you...

a) get mad and send them to their roomsb) give in to stop the whining

c) don't give in and afterwards explain better ways that they can express theirfrustrations


7/23

7. If your kids get in trouble, you...

a) get mad and yell or spank them

b) don't do much of anything

c) discipline them and later explain better choices they could have made so they don'tget in trouble again

8.Your son wants a new toy at the grocery store, so you...

a) get mad and tell him he can't have any new toys

b) buy it so that he doesn't have a tantrum

c) tell him no, but explain that you will bring him back to buy it when he saves enoughof his allowance

9. If your preschool age daughter has a nightmare and wakes you up, you would...

a) get mad at her for waking you up and tell her to go back to bed

b) let her go back to sleep wherever she wants

c) comfort her and help her go back to sleep once she calms down

10. The main goal of parenting and discipline is to...a) get your kids to listen to you no matter what

b) make sure everyone is happy and doing whatever they want

c) teach your children why your rules are important and help them learn to make goodchoices on their own


8/23

Add up your score:

There are 3 types of parenting style theauthoritarian, the permissive , and the

democratic.1. Add all letter As = Authoritarian Parent2. Add all letter Bs= Permissive Parent

3. Add all letter Cs= Democratic ParentThe letter for which you have the highestscore is your parenting style.


9/23

Types of Parenting Styles and Outcomes

Most parent can beclassified into three maintypes by the style inwhich they guide theirchildren.

As we discuss each

parenting style, thinkabout where your own

parenting style fits most

appropriately. How can

one be a good parent?


10/23

Authoritarian:

Limits without FreedomDefinition:

y Parents word is law, parentshave absolute control.

y

Misconduct is punishedy Affection and praise are rarely

give

y Parents try to control children'sbehavior and attitudes

y They value unquestionedobedience

y Children are told what to do,how to do it, and where to do it,and when to do it.


11/23

Outcomes of Authoritarian Style

Obedient

Distrustful

Discontent

Withdrawn

Unhappy

Hostile

NotHigh Achievers

Often Rebel

Children from authoritarianhomes are so strictlycontrolled, either by

punishment or guilt, thatthey are often preventedfrom making a consciouschoice about particular

behavior because they areoverly concerned aboutwhat their parents will do.


12/23

Permissive:

Freedom without limitsDefinition:y Parents allow their children to do

their own thing.y Little respect for order and

routine.y Parents make few demands on

children.y Impatience is hidden.y Discipline is laxy

Parents are resources rather thanstandard makersy Rarely punishy Non controlling, non-demandingy Usually warm

y Children walk all over the parents


13/23

Outcome of Permissive Parenting

Aggressive

Least selfreliantLeast self-controlled

Least exploratory

Most unhappy

Children frompermissive homes

receive so little guidancethat they often becomeuncertain and anxiousabout whether they are

doing the right thing.


14/23

emocra c:

Freedom within limitsy Definition:y Middle ground between the twoabovey Stress freedom along with rights of

others and responsibilities of ally Parents set limits and enforce rulesy Willing to listen receptively to

childs requests and questions.y Both loves and limitsy Children contribute to discussion

of issues and make some of theirown decisions

y Exert firm control when necessary,but explain reasoning behind it.

y Respect childrens interest,opinions, unique personalities.y Loving, consistent, demandingy Combine control with

encouragementy Reasonable expectations and

realistic standards.


15/23

Outcomes of Democratic Style

Happy

Mostly self-reliant

Mostly self-controlled

Content, friendly, generous

Cooperative

High-achiever

Less likely to be seriously

disruptive or delinquent

Children whose parentsexpect them to perform well,to fulfill commitments, andto participate actively in

family duties, as well asfamily fun, learn how toformulate goals. They alsoexperience the satisfaction

that comes from meetingresponsibilities andachieving success.


16/23

Ways to foster a child's self-esteem

Provide moresuccesses thanfailures for thechild.

Give themfreedom to failwith acceptance.

Give lots ofencouragement.

Giveunconditionallove.

Allowindependence.

Eliminate thenegative. Do not set

standardsunreasonably

high.

Avoidridicule.


17/23

Ways to foster a child's self-esteem

Be available.

Give your children

responsibility

Be a good role

model.

Take their ideas,

emotions andfeelings seriously.

Help your child

develop talents

Set Limits

Allow exploration and

encourage questions.


18/23

Top 6 Child Discipline Techniques to Try

As any parent with more thanone child or child care providercan attest, what works in termsof a disciplinary approach for

one child may not work as wellwith another. With differencesin how kids react to disciplinealso comes an increasedlikelihood for parents to be less-than-consistent in theirapproach.


19/23

Here are techniques to try:1. Consistency is Key

Since everyone has a different parenting/caregiver style, it's notpractical to say all discipline should be consistent all the time. Dotry, however, to instill consistent rules, approaches, and evengoals and rewards each day. Kids can find change orinconsistencies confusing, and may test limits or boundaries tosee how far they can go with different adults.

2. Seek Out the 'Why' of Misbehavior

When Johnny throws a cup and its contents spill on the carpet, adisciplinary consequence SHOULD be rendered. But if you taketime to seek out the "why" to the behavior rather than just theaction itself, you might be closer to figuring out your child's

problem.


20/23

3. Avoid Power Battles

Choose your battles very carefully, but onceyou've picked a battle then a parent/adult

MUST win. Always. Only address those issuesthat are truly important (safety is always a keybattle) and let some things go. If possible,offer choices while still setting reasonablelimits.

4. Emphasize and Praise Good Behavior

If the behavior won't cause harm, then aneffective disciplinary approach often involvespraising good behavior and rewarding it

through hugs, high-fives or special activities ,while ignoring bad behavior. This is easiersaid than done, but a child will learn thatgood actions result in more positive attentionand praise while bad behavior gains hernothing.


21/23

5. Keep Yourself Cool

Kids often enjoy seeing a rise out of an adult;blowing your top can be interesting to watchand kids sometimes see your loss of control

as a victory for them. Keep calm and incontrol, and if necessary, tell your child

you're taking a brief "time out" to assess thesituation and appropriate consequencebefore taking action. Kids will often take

advantage of a frazzled, mad, or emotionaladult; don't give them this opportunity.

6. Seek Out Discipline Supporters

When someone else is watching your child,be sure to communicate discipline style andrequest the caregiver adopt a similar fashion.Likewise, if you do not believe in a certainapproach (like spanking or a time-outchair), be sure to indicate that to a babysitteror early education teacher as well.


22/23

SummaryOne of the most important

things to remember as aparent is to be yourself. Youcan only use those methodswith which you feel

comfortable. A child canspot a fake a mile away.Children know if you meanwhat you say or if it is just

another threat. So select themethods that you believe in,that you feel comfortablewith, and then be consistent.

Unless the LORD builds the

house, its builders labor invain. Unless the LORD

watches over the city, the

watchmen stand guard in

vain. Psalm 127:1


23/23

The End

parenting styles and its outcomes

Documents