Pants on Fire: Advising Students Who Lie to Themselves and Others

Katie McFaddinBrandeis University

1500 people responded to a survey on WebMD.com in 2004

44% of them admitted outright lying to their doctor or “stretching the truth”

38% - following drs' orders32% - diet or exercise 22% - smoking17% - sex16% - alcohol12% - recreational drug use7% - getting a second opinionhttp://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=46985

1500 people responded to a survey on WebMD.com in 2004

44% of them admitted outright lying to their doctor or “stretching the truth”

50% - didn't want to be judged31% - truth was just too embarrassing21% - doctor wouldn’t understand9% - none of their doctor's businesshttp://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=46985

1500 people responded to a survey on WebMD.com in 2004

44% of them admitted outright lying to their doctor or “stretching the truth”

Social PsychologyCriminology

ParentingPhysician/Patient RelationshipsTherapist/Patient Relationships

LYING & ACADEMIC ADVISINGPsychologyCriminology

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Lie: A successful or unsuccessful deliberate attempt, without forewarning, to create in another a belief which the communicator considers to be untrue. – Vrij, 2008

Lying is a developmental milestone of childhood.

A child who is going to lie must recognize the truth, intellectually conceive of an alternate reality, and be able to convincingly sell that new reality to someone else. Therefore, lying demands both advanced cognitive development and social skills that honesty simply doesn't require.

Bronson & Merryman, 2009

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In a 1996 study, 77 American college students were asked to keep a diary for one week and record all lies told in social interactions that lasted longer than 10 minutes.

The undergraduates lied to 34% of the people they interacted with over the course of a week.

50% of the lies were self-serving and around 25% were told in the interest of others.

Participants overwhelmingly reported that their lies were not serious.

DePaulo, Kashy, et. al, 1996

People tend to lie less to those with whom they feel close.

In a notable exception, one study found that undergraduate students lied in almost half of the conversations they had with their mothers.

DePaulo & Kashy, 1998

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© hebedesign via flickr

False Excuse: A lie of self-defense. A common protective method used by people to get out of any major or minor trouble that is thought to have unpleasant consequences. - Hsieh, 2004

“We tell false excuses to others largely for fear that knowledge of our wrongdoings will damage the good opinion in which others hold us. We do not want our friends to think us inconsiderate, our family to think us ungrateful, our coworkers to think us lazy, or the police to think us criminal.”

Hsieh, 2004

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Self-Deceptive Excuse: Not simply an erroneous internal explanation of our actions, but an erroneous explanation that we know or suspect to be false.

- Hsieh, 2004

“When coupled with lies to other people, self-deceptive excuses reinforce the corresponding other-deceptive excuses by rendering them more plausible, consistent, and sincere.”

Hsieh, 2004

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Future Truth: An exaggeration that reflects the deceiver’s positive goals for the future. - Carey, B. (2008)

In a 2009 study, researchers found that college students exaggerated their GPAs a significant amount, but that exaggeration correlated with improved academic performance in subsequent semesters.

Willard & Gramzow, 2009

Similar studies have shown that when reporting exaggerated GPAs, students are calm and positive. They do not display any of the physical indicators typically associated with lying.

Carey, 2008

LYING & ACADEMIC ADVISINGPsychologyCriminology

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How can we tell when someone is lying?

LYING & ACADEMIC ADVISINGPsychologyCriminology

We can’t.

© ATENCION via flickr

LYING & ACADEMIC ADVISINGPsychologyCriminology

Truth Bias

We encounter more truths in a day than lies

People lie most often about feelings and opinions, which are hard to disprove

Disbelief requires more effort

Social conversation rules discourage suspicion

Vrij, 2008

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Lie-Detection Myths

Meta-analyses show minimal correlation between beliefs and reality regarding non-verbal signs of deception.

- Vrij (2008)

In a meta-analysis of 206 documents and 24,483 individuals, the average accuracy rate in separating truths from lies was 54%.

- Bond & DePaulo (2006)

© ATENCION via flickr

Strategies for dealing with students who lie

Lying requires intelligence, empathy, and maturity.

© lovelornpoets via flickr

We are not police officers.

Explain this to advisees.

Ask “what else?” to help students avoid lies of

omission.

“Double the number of drinks” (i.e. signal a range

of answers).

© rofltosh via flickr

Help students focus on what they can control.

Deceptions are often propped up by more

self-deceptions. Questioning one can

disrupt others.

Barrier, P., T.C. Li, J., & Jensen, N. (2003). Two Words to Improve Physician-Patient Communication: What Else? Mayo Clinic Proceedings, 78, 211-214. Retrieved from http://www.meddean.lumc.edu/lumen/MedEd/IPM/IPM1/TwoWordsBarrierArticle.pdf

Bond, C. F., Jr., & DePaulo, B. M. (2006). Accuracy of deception judgments. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 10, 214– 234. doi:10.1207/s15327957pspr1003_2.

Carey, B. (2008, May 6). I’m Not Lying, I’m Telling a Future Truth. Really. The New York Times. Retrieved from http://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/06/health/06mind.html?_r=0

DeNoon, D. (2004, September 21). WebMD Survey: The Lies We Tell Our Doctors. MedicineNet.com. Retrieved from http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=47095

DePaulo, B.M., & Kashy, D.A. (1998). Everyday lies in close and casual relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 74, 63-79.

DePaulo, B.M., Kashy, D.A., Kirkendol, S.E., Wyer, M.M., & Epstein, J.A. (1996). Lying in everyday life. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 70, 979-995.

Gramzow, R.H. (2006). Exaggerating Current and Past Performance: Motivated Self-Enhancement Versus Reconstructive Memory. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 32(8), 1114-1125.

Grohol, J. (2008). 10 Common Reasons to Lie to Your Therapist. Psych Central. Retrieved from http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2008/02/06/10-common-reasons-to-lie-to-your-therapist/

Henig, R. M. (2006, February 5). Looking For the Lie. New York Times Magazine. Retrieved from http://www.nytimes.com/2006/02/05/magazine/05lying.html?pagewanted=1&_r=0&fta=y

Hsieh, D. M. (2004). False Excuses: Honest, Wrongdoing, and Moral Growth. The Journal of Value Inquiry. 38, 171-185. Retrieved from http://www.philosophyinaction.com/docs/fe.pdf

Leach, A. M., Lindsay, R. C., Koehler, R., Beaudry, J. L., Bala, N. C., Lee, K., & Talwar, V. (2009). The reliability of lie detection performance. Law and human behavior, 33(1), 96-109.

Liu, D. (2011, January 26). Patients Lie. The Health Care Blog. Retrieved from http://thehealthcareblog.com/blog/2011/01/26/patients-lie/

National Public Radio. (2009, August 27). Parenting Tips: Praise Can Be Bad; Lying is Normal. NPR Books. Retrieved from http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=112292248

Raymond, J. (2009, January 7). Little White-Coat Lies. Newsweek. Retrieved from http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2009/01/07/little-white-coat-lies.html

Reinhard, M., Dickhauser, O., Marksteiner, T., & Sporer, S. (2011). The Case of Pinocchio: Teachers’ Ability to Detect Deception. Social Psychology of Education, 14, 299-318.

Vrij, A. (2008). Detecting lies and deceit: Pitfalls and opportunities. England: John Wiley & Sons Ltd.

Willard, G., & Gramzow, R. H. (2009). Beyond oversights, lies, and pies in the sky: Exaggeration as goal projection. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 35(4), 477-492.